WEBVTT - Can We Talk About Dad? 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:01.960 Previously on Number one. 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:04.880 Dad, it may have been the greatest scam for a 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:09.080 sports fan, posing as a Sports Illustrated Kids reporter with 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.039 your dad and getting into all the games, not to 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:13.760 mention the locker rooms was. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:14.680 A kid, Did you love it? 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:15.840 Nor would you get tired of it? 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:17.759 Eventually I got tired of it. My dad was a 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:21.040 comment in everyday life. I love sports, he loved lying. 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:22.440 Sully is very young. 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:26.160 But let's say that he hears about all the stuff 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:29.480 that you and your dad did, Madison Square Garden, meeting 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.199 all these athletes. What if he wants to try it 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:32.479 with you? 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:34.640 With you, what would you say? 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:39.720 I would say that those are different times and that 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.320 it's always best to be honest. And my role model 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.080 wasn't the best role model, and I'm trying to be 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:51.040 the best role model for you. 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.160 You didn't tell me a lot about your father for 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:55.120 a long time. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:56.360 That's my wife Ali. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:58.680 When we first started dating, I kept her in the 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:00.800 dark about my relationship with my dad. 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.120 He was kind of a really big mystery. I knew 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.280 that your relationship with him was strained, that you didn't 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:08.520 speak to him, But then you know, when you told 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:10.880 me a bunch of the different stories and stuff like that. 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:13.600 I mean, it blew my mind. Honestly, it was obvious 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:14.759 that it had impacted your. 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:16.120 Life, Manny Veter. 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:19.839 My father was a full blooded comment who never told 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:21.760 the truth about anything. 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:22.520 Ever. 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:26.160 As a teenager, I couldn't stand the way he was, 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.920 so twenty four years ago I cut him out of 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:33.800 my life completely. We didn't speak, no emails or texts. 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:37.039 I didn't want anything to do with them. But I 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:39.200 just had a son of my own, which brought up 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:42.080 a ton of old memories of my childhood and made 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:44.720 me wonder, where is my dad now? 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:47.600 You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.360 this before you're ready to talk to him. 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:51.440 What do you think he would do if he finds out? 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.840 I mean, based off of everything you've told me, he 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:59.000 would probably sue everybody involved. 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:01.000 This is number one death. 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:12.359 Gary. 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:13.360 What's up man? 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:14.120 Hey buddy. 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:17.200 That's my producer, Adam Lowett. I've known him for a while. 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.079 We met back when I was an intern at The 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:20.959 Daily Show in two thousand and six. When he was 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.200 working there, I used to have to get him coffee 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:26.520 and bagels every morning. He's incredibly talented. I owe him 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.640 big time. For being a part of this and frankly, 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.280 I couldn't do it without him. He also wrote to Centro, 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:35.480 so I did some investigating, and I basically, I mean, 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:38.680 as far as investigating goes, it's nothing crazy. I searched 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.000 him on Google and I was able to find out 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:45.280 that he's been a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:50.239 court cases since nineteen eighty four. That's just too good. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:52.040 I mean, maybe there's even more. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.960 This is just from a Google search, but some of 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.480 the cases that came up. He sued her she Park, 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:59.880 claiming he broke a rib on one of their rye 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.880 he did a slip and fall at our hometown movie 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:07.400 theater and then took them to court. And he also 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:11.679 sued Geico a bunch for what I presume are all 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:15.920 false insurance claims. I also unblocked him on Facebook and 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:20.280 I couldn't see anything other than his friend list and 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:21.840 his profile pick. 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:26.080 But his profile pick is of him and Joe Biden. 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:30.200 And how he did that, How he met Joe Biden 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:31.320 that I don't know. 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:33.760 But where they at Madison Square Guarden. 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:35.080 No, And that's the other thing. 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.720 I assume he didn't meet him legitimately but like, how 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:42.360 are you meeting the president under you know, non legitimate terms? 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:44.360 Oh my god, it's so fascinating. 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.400 But this is the thing, this is how I grew up. 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:48.520 But so far, this is all I was able to find. 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:54.680 So paid right, that would that would be nice? Uh? 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:56.600 And that would make that would make this podcast much 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:59.640 easier too, if paid you three dollars a monthly? 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:00.440 Fe right? 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:03.000 And I know he said, you're going to go talk 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:05.120 to your mom soon and ask her to be on 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:06.000 the podcast. 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:06.800 So that's the thing. 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:10.200 I have shows this weekend and I'm going to be traveling, 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:12.800 so I can't can't do it till early next week. 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:15.640 I'm going to bring Ali with me when I go 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:18.120 meet her, so that should hopefully. 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:20.640 Yeah, exactly. 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.960 I think my mom will be open to talking if 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:25.919 Ali's there, that's like my best shot. 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:28.240 And I'm also going to bring Sullivan along too. 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:30.839 And I know I'm pulling the same kind of moves 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:33.240 bringing Sali along the same way my dad would bring 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:36.520 me along to soften people up. But I feel our 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:41.880 situations are pretty different and it also worked. My father 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.520 was the ultimate shyster who is a master at manipulating 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.400 the court system. He was so confident in his knowledge 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.360 of law that he even represented himself in the divorce 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:53.960 between him and my mom. He was always one step 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.960 ahead of my mother's legal representation. He knew how to 0:04:57.000 --> 0:05:00.880 delay the proceedings, costing my mother thousands of dollars attorney's fees. 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.720 Their divorce started when I was fifteen years old and 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.800 dragged on for ten years, and in the end, my 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:11.280 father took everything, including my childhood home. Their divorce was 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:15.120 finalized in two thousand and five. That is literally the 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.440 last time my mom and I set his name out 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:20.400 loud to each other. And in a few days I'm 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.400 going to go to her house to ask her to 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:23.479 break the silence. 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.040 How are you feeling about everything? 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.120 I mean this, obviously, this whole thing is very heavy 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:32.919 and just I mean I haven't talked about my dad 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:36.200 ever to her, and just even me talking out loud, 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.599 you know, and you know, to you, And to be 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:45.880 doing this publicly is a lot. Talking about my father 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.320 and eventually seeking him out is going to bring up 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.480 a lot of emotions that I buried a long time ago. 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.719 So I thought it'd be best to sit down with 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:55.640 my therapist. But Beata Spinelli, who also happened to help 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:57.960 my wife Ali and I when we did couples countsling 0:05:58.000 --> 0:05:58.880 a few years back. 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:01.440 I really want to honor that you're coming in to 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:05.000 do this individual work. I recalling couple's work was sort 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:06.120 of difficult to. 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:08.960 Talk about your dad and your family history with your dad. 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.720 I talked to Ali about it, and I said that 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.040 I'm going to go back to Babta and talk to 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.720 her about my dad. It's so weird for me to 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.320 even say my dad because it's like I normally refer 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:21.440 to him. I call him Manny, I call him by 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:22.080 his first name. 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.680 I do recall how hard it was for you to 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.279 speak about your dad, and it was hard to even 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.200 bring him in as someone that had been somewhat part 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:31.839 of your life. 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:34.839 One of the things that made me stop caring about 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:36.960 my father because of the way that he treated my mom. 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:41.279 Is she aware Gary that you're thinking of, you know, 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:43.039 baby meeting your father? 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:45.719 Just no, So I have to That's another thing that 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.200 I have to talk to her, and that's you know, 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:51.279 that's a it's a tough thing to bring up my dad, 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:51.880 so you. 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:55.200 Need to be prepared of her reaction. 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.960 When I was a teenager, the arguments between my parents 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:02.600 became it every day occurrence. My father's constant schemes and 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.360 court cases began to take its toll on my family, 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.920 and bills were piling up. My mom told my dad 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:12.360 she wanted a divorce, and that's when things got really bad. 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:15.760 To make matters worse, my father put me in the 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:16.440 middle of it. 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:20.240 Gary, it sounds like you had to find ways to 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:22.480 survive at a young age. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.280 Yeah, you know, if I asked him for lunch money 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:28.160 in high school, he would say, ask your mom, even 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:30.520 though lunch is a dollar fifty five, So then I'd 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:33.720 ask her, And then she wasn't working. She was a 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.680 stay at home mom, so she only had money that 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:39.640 my father would give her, which was in a good 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:43.920 situation of being when they obviously are having problems, and 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:47.240 he stopped giving her money. So him telling me to 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:50.360 ask my mom, who he knows doesn't have any money 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:54.040 or maybe only has a few dollars, winds up being like, well, 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.080 why if you have the money, why can't you just 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:57.880 get Why am I in the middle of this? And 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:01.840 then eventually I just started photocopying dollar bills so I 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:04.360 could give that to the lunch lady. And then my 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:08.200 dad found out about that, and then instead of giving 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:11.320 me money, he's just started helping me photocopy dollar bills 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:12.880 to make him look more realistic. 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:21.400 Your photo copy dollar bills right for lunch money. What 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:24.640 I'm noticing, Gary, is that your dad didn't just model 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:28.640 these questionable behaviors, but he encouraged it. 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:31.760 However, I do think of things that he did that 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.680 was great too, And that's kind of what brings me 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:36.360 here is that, you know, I don't know if it 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:37.320 was all bad. 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:44.240 You're about to enter into a pretty intense journey. Are 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.400 you afraid at all about how things are going to 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:46.840 turn out? 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:48.559 I mean, yeah, I'm afraid. 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.480 I'm going to be talking to a whole bunch of 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:54.240 different people that are from my past and my dad's past, 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:57.520 and there's a chance that somebody may reach out to 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:01.280 him before I'm even ready to talk to him. And 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.800 you know, there's also like, if I opened the door 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.760 to him, there's a chance that he hurts me and 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:20.440 my family all over again. As a comic, I'm on 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.320 the road all the time, and right now I'm traveling 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.400 with comedians Sam Morrell. Sam is one of the funniest 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.320 people and one of my close friends. We have a 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.839 lot in common too. Aside from being comedians, we both 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:36.120 have strained relationships with our biological fathers. 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.400 It's funny, I've knew you for years before I knew 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:39.720 this stuff. So I was like, oh, Gary's like a 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:41.760 normal guy, but like everyone's got their thing. 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:42.520 Yeah. 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:46.000 When I started doing stand up, because of my relationship 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:48.680 with my father and how I didn't want to like 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:54.000 have my last name become anything veet, I went as 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.520 Gary Roy basically because of Rodney Dangerfield was Jack Roy. 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.680 So I was like you and as Gary Roy yeah 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:01.720 for like the first six months, and I was just like, 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:05.400 let me try and build something and stand up under 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:09.360 this you know, pseudonym. And it was just so whenever 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:11.040 somebody would bring me up, it just didn't it didn't 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:14.280 feel right. Yeah. So, I mean one of the things 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:19.200 that I don't do and you do is I don't 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:20.880 talk about my dad at all on my act. 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:23.120 It's unusual because you actually, for a joke, I are 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:26.280 pretty autobiographical. A lot of joke people who do the 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:30.000 misdirect style that you do, it's like all lies, but 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.080 you're very honest in your act. 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:33.440 Yeah, I really do. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:37.520 But you avoid that, but you do avoid that. 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:41.680 I avoid it, and part of my thinking I don't 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.520 want to give my dad any credit. I don't want 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:46.120 him to think that I came up with a joke 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.400 for him, and then I'm thinking about him. 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.000 It's for you at the end, I know, like that 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:54.520 to me, that says that you have anger toward him, 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:56.679 and you should the fact that you don't want to 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:59.040 give him anything, right, But I mean, you're making this 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:01.640 podcast from meet like early bits where like you know, 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:04.240 people would say, you know, is your biological father or 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:05.920 good dad? And I'd be like, if he were, I 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.640 probably wouldn't refer to him as my biological father. 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:10.439 Love that jet they were quick laughs. 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:12.920 Yeah. It's like I showed Ali a picture of him 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:16.000 once and she was like, you look like him, and 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.040 I was like, it makes me so upset. 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:19.920 How do you feel about looking like someone that you 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:20.560 don't like? 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:24.640 I know, it's tough. I mean I wish I looked 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:29.280 like you know, Bradley Cooper. I wish that was the case. 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:34.400 I didn't really feel like I had an incredibly fulfilling childhood. 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.960 My parents were constantly fighting, and to a point where 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:43.080 they weren't physically fighting but it was crazy yelling that 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:45.880 would constantly go on where cops would get called by. 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.000 Either my mom or my dad. Damn. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.560 And it's pretty embarrassing when you're a kid living in 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:57.199 a pretty like nice house and cops would just be outside, 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.679 and you know, I have friends in the neighborhood where 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:01.120 next day at school they'd be like. 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.760 So, why were cops outside? And you kind of just 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.240 curl into a ball where you're just like, oh. 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.680 It was just had like a little health scare in 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.400 the house, just trying to make up anything, not knowing 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.000 if they buy it or not. I would be so embarrassed. 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:17.240 I wouldn't even have friends come over my entire high 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:20.000 school life. I didn't have friends come over my house. 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:21.600 I was too embarrassed because I didn't know what was 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.000 going to happen between my parents. 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:23.560 Damn. 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.120 By the spring of my sophomore year of high school, 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:30.959 I knew there was no way I was going to 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:33.360 be able to make it another two years living under 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.200 the same roof as my parents. Both my sisters had 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.320 left for college, and I was all alone. It was 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.839 just me and my dog Kobe. I knew some kids 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.280 through playing hockey that went to a private boarding school 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:49.120 in Massachusetts, and I saw this as my way out. 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:51.560 So I filled out all the paperwork, and in a 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:55.680 surprise joint decision, my parents both agreed to send me away. 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.000 You know, most teenagers would be upset if they were 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.280 sent to boarding school. I, on the other hand, was 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:03.079 glad to go. 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:05.680 Did you blame me they're your parents, or did you 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.480 like they're just both they can't get it together? 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.400 Well, I was blaming my dad, and like I was 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.840 really you know, when I was saying I had a 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:16.760 bad childhood, it's tough because my childhood is what also 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.360 shaped me to be who I am. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:20.320 So I appreciate that. 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:23.559 I mean, you have to appreciate your experiences, I think 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.840 and look at the positive things that have come from it. 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:30.600 So at the time, I was definitely angry, more angry 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:33.320 at my dad than my mom. It seemed my dad 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:37.160 was really mistreating my mom and I didn't understand why. 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:39.920 And he would talk to me about it and he'd 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.360 be like, when you get older, you'll understand. Well, it's 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:46.520 like I'm older and making a whole podcast to try 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:47.520 and figure this shit out. 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:48.320 Yeah. 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:49.640 Was he a charming guy though? 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.679 Yeah, he would get things out of people that that, 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:54.600 you know, you'd be surprised he'd be able to pull 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:56.280 off anything. I mean, you know the you know, the 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.600 sports stories that he was able to do. And then 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.760 he has some other other con stuff that I've heard 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.640 stories about that I'm gonna ask other family members. 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.560 Well, you ever worried for safety. I mean, this is 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:08.520 like kind of sketchy stuff. 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.280 I blocked it out for so long, But as a kid, 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.000 people were constantly showing up at our house pissed at 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:16.600 my father, yelling at him on our front lawn, and 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:20.320 it was always about money. I remember one instance when 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.120 a man dressed in a suit rang the doorbell like 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:26.040 fifty times in a row. My dad told my family 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.680 to be quiet and not answer the door. Then this 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.280 guy walks around to the back of our house and 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:35.440 starts looking through our windows. He was relentless because then 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.960 he just sat in his car waiting in our driveway. 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:42.280 A little while later, realizing he wasn't leaving, my dad 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:45.080 took off all his clothes and walked out in nothing 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:48.600 but a towel, apologizing that he'd just gotten out of 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.320 the shower and hadn't heard the doorbell. He then handed 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.200 the guy an envelope full of cash. 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:56.680 Do you ask your mom ever about this? 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.280 No, wouldn't We went and talk about it to this today. 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.680 I have not talked to my mom about my father 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.040 in twenty four years. 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:06.720 Wow. 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.600 Yeah, I haven't mentioned him. She has no idea I'm 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.320 doing this podcast yet. I'm going to her house with 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.560 Ali as soon as we get off the road. I'm 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:16.120 going to ask her if she'll be on it, and 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.840 I have no idea what she'll say. 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.000 Be great at the end of this podcast, your dad 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.600 just like charms you today. He cons you and you're 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:27.080 just another victim of this. You're like, it's possible. I 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.080 turned out he was a great guy and I was wrong. 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:29.360 Man. 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:33.640 Yeah, I mean I'm opening up Pandora's box by letting 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:37.120 him into my life. For sure. It's so crazy to 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.760 think about my parents being married. I have zero memories 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.920 of them being happy together or even liking each other. 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.880 But I know it happened because I found this old 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:48.040 tape of them on vacation. 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.000 Hi, honey, right, what do you want to get to say? 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:53.320 Letting the kids. 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:56.840 Having a great time too? 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:57.080 Bid? 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:58.000 You couldn't make it. 0:15:58.680 --> 0:15:59.920 That's them in the Cayman Isle. 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:03.320 But even my parents' vacation was rooted in one of 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:06.160 my father's lies. The only way they were able to 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:08.760 go was because my dad entered a contest in the 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:12.600 early nineties on Fox five's Good Day New York. They 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:15.320 were looking for someone with the worst first date story, 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:18.440 and the winner got a free trip to the Caribbean. 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:20.920 This was a walk in the park for my father. 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:22.400 He went on live. 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:27.120 TV, where his completely fabricated story beat out three other contestants. 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.400 We really miss your kids, We really do. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:33.040 Yeah, Mommy, you miss Gary. 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.080 Oh, I miss Gary and miss Scanny. 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:42.200 I really do think that used your practice because you're 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:43.520 told where your mother is terrible. 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.600 You can't be nasty while you're asking her for a fever. 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.480 I'm not going to be. It's not asking her favorite. 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:53.360 So here I am driving to my mom's house with 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:55.960 Ali and our son Sullivan to ask if she'll be 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:56.880 on the podcast. 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.200 When is the last time that you spoke about your 0:16:59.240 --> 0:16:59.960 father with your mom? 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:01.000 When? 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:02.200 Seriously when never. 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:04.880 We've been together ten years and I have not once 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.400 heard your mom mention your dad ever, like ever, even 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:09.159 when she talks about like you as a baby, or 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:10.159 your childhood. 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.880 Or anything like that. I've never once heard her mention him. 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:14.080 Yeah, she's not a big fan. 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:18.199 You know, obviously she's not meaning that has not been 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.920 a topic of conversation in ten years. And you can't 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:24.640 even have a conversation with her about like egg salad. 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.200 I mean, honestly, I think your mother is going to 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:28.520 be so taken aback. 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:31.040 Yeah, I mean, what are you gonna say? 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:34.919 I am going to say that I am doing a 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:39.840 podcast and don't doing it about well, I'm going to 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.359 get to that. I want to say, I'm doing a podcast. 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:49.600 It's about my childhood, but it's mainly about my relationship 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:56.639 with my father, and I'm interviewing different people, people that 0:17:56.800 --> 0:18:03.600 know him, and you know him, don't you. Well, so 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:07.800 say something like that, Yeah, I may need your help 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:08.120 on this. 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:11.760 You need me to put it by two cents. 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:15.840 In just here and there, Like, God, you're gonna be 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:17.040 there when I'm saying I know. 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:18.760 And I'm like so uncomfortable about it. 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:39.280 All right, boy, you're ready, yep, as ready as I'll 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:39.840 ever be. 0:18:42.720 --> 0:19:06.359 God. All right, Sally, see Granny. 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:10.080 Despite all my preparation, I was still nervous about bringing 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:12.960 up my father to my mom. I kept waiting for 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.760 the perfect moment, but there is never a right time 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:18.040 to bring up the man who made her life. Hell, 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.040 so as we sat down for lunch, I decided it 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:27.840 was now or never. So I have something to tell you. 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:37.399 It's good news. I sold the podcast to iHeartRadio. But 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:39.159 there is a catch. 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:43.840