WEBVTT - Billy Porter on redefining masculinity and finding truth within 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:13.160 Hi, I'm Pete Bodh Judge and this is the deciding decade. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:17.200 Sometimes people say politicians are like actors, and when they 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:19.280 say it, they usually don't mean it as a compliment. 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:22.480 There's some truth to that. Just look at our president, 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:26.000 who was a reality TV star who feels like he's 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:29.760 acting more than governing most of the time. But I 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:33.800 think that comparison often sells short the importance of actors 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:38.559 of artists in their vulnerability, their creativity, their courage. Artists 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:42.200 bring meaning to our lives that we simply couldn't find 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.200 anywhere else. So I don't think we give artists enough 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:48.800 credit for shaping and maybe even saving so many lives. 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.839 Art has shaped my life, especially music and literature that 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:55.960 helped me to understand who I am for my husband Chaston, 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.120 Theater and film have been the most impactful, and I've 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.720 noticed that we have turned to and dug further and 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:05.080 further into these creative sources to help us navigate the 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:08.119 times that we're facing right now, and we're seeing how 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:11.000 many of the experiences of the most vulnerable are being 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:15.120 given new expression through the arts today. So what can 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:17.600 art do for us going forward? And what can we 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:20.680 learn from those who are shaping our time through their 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:24.360 creativity and courage. My guest today speaks to this and 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.720 embodies this with boldness, courage, and grace, and I'm very 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:33.440 eager for you to hear from it. Billy Porter is 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:37.920 an actor, singer, fashion icon, and activist who you have 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:41.639 hopefully seen in the extraordinary and compelling TV show Pose. 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:45.720 He has started on Broadway off Broadway in film and television. 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:49.960 He performed at the Democratic National Convention this summer. He's 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.520 a Tony, Grammy and Emmy winner, and was the first 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.200 openly gay black man to be nominated for and win 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.200 in any leading acting category at the Primetime Emmy's On 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.520 an off screen, he has inspired so many in the 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.240 l g B t Q plus community and beyond with 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:07.640 his authenticity and his courage, and whose activism I think 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:11.919 is helping to change what's possible in our future. Welcome Billy, 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:15.119 and I have to ask, having uh mentioned your awards 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:18.080 in the introduction, what's the plan to get that? Oscar? 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:23.760 I don't really have a plan. First of all, thank 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:25.960 you for having me. It's so good to be having 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:29.080 this conversation with you. Pleasure. Um. You know I'm trying 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:31.560 to get some movies. I got some movies, I got 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:33.600 some plans. We're trying to make it happen. I don't know. 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.000 I've been in the business long enough to like hold 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:42.360 the idea of awards in a very specific kind of space. 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.720 I don't do it for the awards. I'm an artist first. 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:50.079 I'm gonna be practicing my art whether I win awards 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:52.919 or not, as that has been proven for the thirty 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:58.600 years prior to this moment in my life. Simultaneously, who 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:02.160 doesn't like to win awards? To be truthfully honest with you, 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:07.720 As a black, gay artist, they actually do mean something 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.840 for me, a lot more than they do from my 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:15.560 white counterparts. They do open doors for me that are 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:21.120 open to my white counterparts anyway. So they don't have 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.760 to win awards to have these doors opened. Um. But 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:29.360 I'm very grateful to be in this position. Doors have 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:32.520 been opening, and I'm walking through every single one of 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:37.720 them that I have the energy and breath to do well. 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.000 The little doubt that there are more awards in your future, 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.320 of course, you've You've made news not only with the 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:47.480 awards that you've earned and one, but with your appearances. 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.160 I think I'm not out of line describing you as 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:54.960 a fashion god. And that's an intimidating conversation for me 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:58.800 because I routinely will come downstairs and Chaston will look 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:00.839 at me, and I Brad will go up and all 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.440 he'll say is are you going to be wearing that? 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.280 And I know it's time to go back upstairs and 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:11.000 improve upon myself. And it strikes me that, especially for 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.800 people who aren't very involved or aware of fashion, it 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:17.160 can be maybe viewed as something that's not as important 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:21.960 in this very important time of big world events and 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:25.320 social upheaval. And yet it's clear in the way you've 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:28.520 spoken about some of your fashion choices that have made 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:33.280 headlines that this is language that maybe even fashion in 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.520 this way is activism. And I wonder what have you 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:39.479 sought to say with that language and what impact do 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.159 you seek to have when you're making the splash that 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.080 you so often make when you appear on a red carpet. Yeah, 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:52.400 first and foremost being first generation post civil rights movement, 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.200 the focus of black people were to make sure that 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:58.400 your children were educated. First. Second on the list was 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:02.160 you're judged by your appearing. You know, the first thing 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:05.600 that people see is what you look like. So one 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:09.679 must dress for the job one wants, not the job 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:12.080 one has. And what you're saying is not just a 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:18.760 job job, but speaking metaphorically, it's like fashion is art. 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:23.920 For me, art is activism. It always has been. Artists 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:28.080 have always been at the forefront of creating change, of 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:32.719 speaking truth to power. We always have we always will be. 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:38.000 I use this pandemic as an example. You're lost in 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:41.920 your house for six months, what are you doing the 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:49.400 most of watching television, reading books, arts and crafts, listening 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:54.640 to music. We all go back to the art. It's important, 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:59.240 especially now, especially now. So therefore coming up in the 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:06.800 business and understanding the impact that fashion can have, mainly 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:12.400 for women, you know, because women can wear anything. You know, 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:16.920 men are relegated to the penguin suit and that's it, 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:19.880 which is something you've challenged correct and you can get 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.599 it in different colors. You know, people are starting to 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:29.640 wear patterns, but it's it's considered masculine. Masculinity its top 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:34.440 on the list for everything and everybody. The patriarchy is masculine. 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:39.200 So unconsciously we live in a space where we all 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:43.640 receive the message that masculine is better. I want to 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:46.560 explore this because you said in an interview once you 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:49.200 said my masculinity was in question before I could even 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:52.320 comprehend the thought. So I'm wondering, first of all, when 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:55.279 you did comprehend the thought, what would masculinity mean to you, 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:59.720 especially growing up in Pittsburgh, and how has that changed. 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.440 Are you seeking to change the definition of masculinity or 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:05.159 is it something that you view is kind of set 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:08.800 that that you're seeking to confront and challenge both things. Actually, 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:13.120 it's standing up and confronting and challenging the status quo 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:18.440 while simultaneously trying to change the conversation. You know, what 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:21.880 does being a man truly mean? What does that mean? 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.560 I was five years old when I was sent to 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:30.320 a psychologist for a year every Wednesday after kindergarten because 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:36.200 my family was confused, scared in fear of the other, 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:41.960 and fear that their boy was too effeminate, was not 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:46.360 going to be masculine enough, therefore would not be able 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:50.080 to be successful in the world. Because that's the messaging, 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:55.800 and it's true for a lot of people. I personally 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.880 took myself out of that game and challenged myself to 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.559 look at myself in the mirror and go what would 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:06.480 it look like if I was just showing up as myself? 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:09.240 It was there a specific moment when you felt conscious 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:11.120 of making that choice or is it something that that 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:16.119 you grew into. Yeah. I was watching Oprah over twenty 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.800 years ago and she had on Maya Angelou and Yalla 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:23.760 Van Sant and they were talking about setting an intention 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.240 for your life and making sure that that intention is 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:30.680 based in service. When the intention for your life is 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:34.400 based in service, no matter what it is, everything else 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:37.880 will work itself out. And so I asked myself the question, 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:41.240 in a world, in an industry that's inherently narcissistic, what 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:44.320 does service look like for me? And it hit me 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:46.640 like a ton of bricks. It is your gayness. It 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:50.040 is your queerness. It's the very thing that every single 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:54.680 solitary person in your life is telling you. Billy, your 0:08:54.760 --> 0:09:00.400 gayness is your liability. Butcher, you won't make it unless 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:04.600 you're masculine enough. That was the only messaging that I 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:08.320 got for the better part of my life, and still 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:12.600 today it can infiltrate. I am challenging that with my 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.599 very presence. It's easy to be who you are, and 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.439 what you are is what popular that was not popular. 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:21.920 That meant I don't work, That meant I don't eat. 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:24.760 How did you know that wasn't where the story ends? 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.840 How did you know that not by being yourself chosen? 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:30.520 Were there moments where you gave up hope where we were? 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:32.600 There moments where your thought that you know, I'm myself, 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:36.440 but that's cost me every Yes, yes, absolutely. It was 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:40.840 not glamorous. It was not easy. You know. There were 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.480 many many days where I couldn't even get out of 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:48.000 bed in the morning. There were many self destructive behaviors 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:51.800 that came along with this journey. But there was something 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.160 you must have held onto to bring you through that 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:57.360 to this point. Was it in yourself? Well, I was 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.280 just talking about this. I didn't have a plan. B. 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:03.120 I don't have a plan. B. I can't do anything else. 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.040 This is the gift. These are the gifts that I've 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.080 been given. This is what I can contribute to the world. 0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:14.079 So when it's all you have, there is no choice 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:17.040 but to continue to just put one foot in front 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:20.480 of the other. That's all I focused on. Don't look 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:23.360 at the mountain, don't look at how far you have 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:28.839 to climb, Look at what's the next step. Today. So 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:30.640 what does that tell us about what the next steps 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:33.360 are going to be in the years ahead. I'm thinking 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:37.720 about a show like Posts, extraordinary television show that might 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:40.679 not have been possible, would not have been possible ten 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.240 years ago, might not have been possible five years ago, 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:47.760 it wasn't possible, so it was So what do you 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.360 think is now going to be possible five years from 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.360 an hour or ten years from now that we can't 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:55.120 even imagine today? What are those next steps? Well, you 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.400 know I have to say that Pose and Ryan Murphy 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.880 and Stephen Canals and Brad Feltcha and the entire team 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.400 Jet Market Lady Jake. You know, casting me in this 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:09.480 show and being in this particular show has taught me 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:14.080 to dream the impossible. You know, My dreams have always 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:17.000 been big and huge, but they've and grant but they've 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:21.000 always been based on and springboarded off of things that 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:26.640 I had already seen. The impossible has happened in my life. 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:32.480 That's what poses. You know, I also related to something 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:35.679 for us gay men of a certain age, gay marriage, 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:42.000 marriage equality. There was no context to even place the 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.400 mustard seed of a dream inside, Like it just wasn't 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:50.760 the thing, you know, It's like I'd never, ever, in 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:53.840 a million years I thought that my life would look 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.840 like this. You know, I spent the first thirty years 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:58.920 of my career trying to be straight about so I 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.000 could eat, trying to be masculine enough so I could eat. 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:06.040 And now I'm being called to just simply be myself. 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:09.800 And by being yourself, you're changing what people I think 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.160 understand to be possible. I should say for people who 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:15.720 haven't seen it, the post centers on the lives of 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:20.960 largely black, queer Americans in the nineteen eighties, and I 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:24.640 kept thinking, as I'm watching it, what those characters would 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:28.480 think to see where we are today? What do do 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:34.160 you ever imagine a dialogue between you, Billy Porter, and 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.839 the character you play or the characters you're surrounded within 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:40.400 the show? Yeah, I mean I I I'm just gobsmacked. 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:44.360 You know. Every time I get a script, I just 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:50.360 weep with joy. I just can't believe it. You know, 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:54.080 Like I'm fifty one, I lived through the AIDS crisis. 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:57.760 I lost a lot of friends, you know, we lost 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:02.240 a generation. A quick are people of people in general, 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:07.280 but mostly queer people and queer artists. And to be 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:30.440 able to step into that. Boy, you came out in 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:34.559 the right at the peak of the AIDS crisis. Do 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:39.080 you think having lived through and confronted AIDS gives the 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:43.880 queer community any kind of special insight or special preparedness 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.800 or special compassion when it comes to what the world 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.040 is facing with COVID or is it a is it 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:54.600 a completely different Well, I think there are parallels. I'm black, 0:13:54.760 --> 0:14:02.160 and so the parallels inside of this virus in general, 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:07.800 you know, the layers of how it started, we don't 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:11.920 know what it is, how do we contract it, what 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:14.920 do we do about it? Is there a vaccine? How 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.720 do you know? Like all of that part it's so 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:22.920 PTSD inducing. It's just we're right back, and I had 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:27.520 a lot of friends who are experiencing the same kind 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:31.480 of PTSD, you know, as a black man. The fact 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:37.120 that this particular COVID nineteen virus is affecting people of 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.640 color in a larger proportion to the rest of the 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:46.440 population is also reminiscent of the age crisis. So I 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:50.520 have been really just trying to work on in this 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:54.320 time of this global reset, is what I'm calling it. 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:59.320 Working on self care, working on boundaries, working on balance, 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:04.400 know like we're the first generation in full as gay 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:09.280 men to be living this light out proud and proud 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:12.880 in public, Like we're the first generation to be doing that. 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:17.800 There's a learning curve, there's a steep learning curve, and 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:21.720 I'm doing it specifically in the middle of all of this, 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:26.360 you know, the pandemic, my career taking off. It's like 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:30.760 it all happens at the same time. There is a 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.920 power in that. There is a piece in that in 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:39.880 knowing that what we're going through right now as a community, 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:44.360 as a culture, as Americans, is not new. That's a 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.160 remarkable thing to hear. The word peace used to describe 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:51.680 the incredibly complicated and painful moment we're living in. But 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.960 the piece he's in the connection to other times or 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:56.920 where do you find that piece? Well, there's a piece 0:15:56.920 --> 0:16:02.320 that passes all understanding, right that's in the Bible. There 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:06.480 is in this moment. For me, this global reset has 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:11.200 caused me to go inside and do all of the 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:15.080 work I say, I'm putting my oxygen masks on first. 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:22.200 I'm dealing with old traumas that threatened to thwart my progress. 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:26.120 I'm dealing with all of the bad habits. I'm dealing 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:33.320 with the shame that is insidious inside of the gay community, 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:41.080 you know, the shame that propels us into darkness, and 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:45.160 very often into the type of darkness where there is 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:49.440 no light. I'm not doing that. I'm not going out 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:55.120 like that. That's a choice, that's a decision, and then 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:59.160 one must do the work to make sure that the 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:03.120 outcome from this work is of some sort of use. 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:06.639 I can't be of use to anything or anybody until 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.880 I'd take care of myself. Well. Part of that work 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:12.800 that you're describing for you takes place at that intersection 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:17.359 of being black and being at this moment, and I 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.000 saw in an interview you said that this moment has 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.439 lit a fire inside of me and truly thrusted me 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.320 into using my platform to deliver the message that black 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:30.159 queer people are black first, queer second. And when I 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.159 first heard that, I felt that that was a really 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:36.679 interesting choice. I wanted to ask you, and then I wondered, 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:38.679 is that a choice or are you saying that the 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:41.960 world will always see black queer people first according to 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.840 their blackness and then according to their queerness. There's a 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:48.200 reality that I'm responding to. You look at my skin 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.520 and I'm black. That's what people are judging me for. 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:53.520 Before I opened up my mouth, before I take a step, 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:58.439 before any of the things that are detectable, you know, 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:05.680 um behaviors to anybody in on my sexuality. The decision 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.160 has already been made based on this color of my skin. 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.560 So that's just the truth of it. Um. I have 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:18.360 found in my quest for understanding and my quest for 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:22.960 being part of my own community, that I do stand 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:28.639 at the intersection of these two struggles. You know, the 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.880 queer community is in civil rights fight of their life 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.440 right now, especially the trans especially the trans community which 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.120 has gay men. We have a complicated relationship to write. 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:40.600 We're under this umbrella of l g B, t Q plus, 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:44.240 but the gay community has not always been there for we. 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:48.280 You know, we haven't always understood. My angelus says, when 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.280 you know better, you do better. We know better. It's 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.520 time to do better. But with that said, I just 0:18:55.400 --> 0:19:02.680 I have lived a life of feeling very misunderstood, rejected, 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:09.120 dismissed from my own because of my gayness. And that's 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:13.880 a conversation, in a really complicated conversation that I am 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:21.399 having with my own community. Unfortunately, and historically communities of color, 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.159 particularly in the African American community. In my case, I'm 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:30.760 always speaking from my experience. The homophobia, the transphobia is 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:36.680 so toxic and so destructive that I've seen it literally 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:40.200 killed people. And like I said before, I'm not going 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:43.720 out like that. Another thing I'm thinking about watching poses 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.679 thinking about, and my life is very different from these characters. 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:51.320 Mostly characters of color in and around New York ball 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.399 Room seem very different from my life. But I feel 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:57.160 on one hand connected by the simple fact that I'm 0:19:57.600 --> 0:19:59.920 part of a community or a tradition in the lgbt 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:03.359 Q community that threads back through their lives, and on 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:06.160 the other hand, seeing what they were up against and 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:09.560 seeing what they confronted within living memory, even within my 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:13.119 lifetime technically but not within my lifetime that I was 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:19.399 aware of the world. I'm also mindful that the acceptance 0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:23.040 not total, but the acceptance that I've known as an 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:26.840 out candidate for president is is built in part on 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:31.640 they're living their lives authentically and yet knowing that many 0:20:31.680 --> 0:20:34.640 of them were destroyed for Yes, and you know, it's 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:37.199 not lost on me that I am a part of 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.920 the generation who kicked the door down. I'm a part 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:45.000 of the generation who blazed the trail. And it's not 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:48.680 lost on me that very often the people who are 0:20:48.720 --> 0:20:51.439 the trail blazers are not the ones that get to 0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:56.200 benefit from the trail having been blazed. I am getting 0:20:56.240 --> 0:21:02.440 to experience both. That takes my breath away because it 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:08.400 creates inside of me an unquenchable fire that will never 0:21:08.440 --> 0:21:13.480 go out, because I have the history that is the 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:18.399 worst of all of it. When you don't know your history, 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:23.320 you are doomed to repeat it. It is our purpose 0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:28.200 that we don't know our history. It is our purpose 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:34.720 that our public school system does not teach the truth 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:39.280 about anything in our history. I go back to the 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:43.800 learning about Christopher Columbus, and it was a cartoon, a 0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:48.479 cartoon about how these levely white people came and you know, 0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:53.080 discovered America as if there was nobody else here. Y'all, 0:21:53.160 --> 0:21:57.560 solid is what happened. You colonize a group of people. 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.840 We don't know the truth, you know, and that's a 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:04.520 difficult thing. It's like when I think about the young 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:09.200 people that you know, the last election cycle, who when 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:11.520 Bernie didn't win the nomination, took their toys and went 0:22:11.560 --> 0:22:14.600 home and didn't show up at the polls. This is 0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:18.600 not blame, This is not to harp on the past, 0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:22.959 But I say this in context of they didn't know. 0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:28.000 We just wanted a better life for our kids, and 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:33.080 they were born into this life that was better. They 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:53.080 didn't have their history. There are some people, I'm sure 0:22:53.080 --> 0:22:55.760 who were thinking even now, who were thinking about how 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:58.199 they're going to vote. But what really worries me are 0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:00.480 the people who are thinking about whether they're going to vote. 0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:04.320 And you have been so vocal and so outspoken on 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:07.560 why it is so important to vote and why you 0:23:07.560 --> 0:23:09.840 don't just get to take your your your toys and 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:12.560 go home. But what is the message to people who 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:16.320 you know, believe because they're under no illusions about the 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:19.480 problems in America, are therefore so cynical about the entire 0:23:19.520 --> 0:23:22.240 system that they want nothing to do with it, even voting. 0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:26.920 That is the whole point of what voter suppression means. 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:32.000 Voter suppression isn't just intimidation at the polls. Voter suppression 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:36.800 is getting into the psyche of the culture and making 0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:41.360 us believe that our votes don't matter. And when you 0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:45.199 think that way, and when you allow that to take hold, 0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:50.399 they have one You know, and I use day in quote. 0:23:50.520 --> 0:23:56.399 It's like, that's the whole point to destroy democracy is 0:23:56.440 --> 0:24:01.359 to make people think that the very action that makes 0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:07.680 a society democratic doesn't work. The one thing, the rue 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:11.800 right that we have still is to get out and vote. 0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:15.440 Why do you think they're attacking it so much? Why 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:19.440 do you think that it's not a national holiday. It's 0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:25.080 on purpose. So what we must do is continue to 0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:30.840 use our right or we lose our right. You know, 0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:33.040 I'm trying to get you know, I'm trying to wrap 0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:36.680 my mind around how you look at what has happened 0:24:36.680 --> 0:24:39.840 in the last four years. And there's still a question 0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:46.240 of if if Biden and parrass I don't understand the logic, 0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:50.240 I don't, you know. And this is not Democrat and 0:24:50.320 --> 0:24:53.719 republic speak. This is not I'm not talking about that 0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:58.399 because I'm the kind of Democrat who will vote for 0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:01.800 a Republican if they're better. You know, I'm looking at 0:25:01.800 --> 0:25:05.320 the policy, I'm looking at the human being. You know, 0:25:05.520 --> 0:25:08.679 it's really not about Democrat or Republican. You know, I'm 0:25:08.760 --> 0:25:11.719 very progressive, so most of the time it will be democratic. 0:25:12.000 --> 0:25:15.520 But in this moment, I'm talking about specifically, in this 0:25:15.600 --> 0:25:20.840 moment today, after what we've seen over the last four years, 0:25:21.560 --> 0:25:26.200 how is it even a question? Yeah? You know. Part 0:25:26.240 --> 0:25:28.240 of how I talk about it is that we may 0:25:28.280 --> 0:25:30.959 have disagreements, especially within my party, over how to do 0:25:31.000 --> 0:25:33.399 certain things, how to make good on the reality that 0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:36.960 black lives matter, how to raise wages, how to get 0:25:36.960 --> 0:25:40.000 everybody healthcare. But the question we're going into in November 0:25:40.040 --> 0:25:42.520 is is whether to do any of those things, whether 0:25:42.600 --> 0:25:47.560 to expand or reduce healthcare, whether to raise wages or 0:25:47.680 --> 0:25:51.520 keep exactly. Yeah, And that's just a different conversation. And 0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:54.399 then I hope we will have good people elected and 0:25:54.440 --> 0:25:56.280 we can go right back to arguing over exactly how 0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:59.240 to do these things in government. But first we gotta 0:25:59.280 --> 0:26:01.840 we gotta set the question as a country over whether 0:26:02.320 --> 0:26:05.200 we're going to be moving three steps forward, as you say, 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:07.960 or two steps back or five steps back. And I 0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:10.760 have to say this, This is the reality that keeps 0:26:10.800 --> 0:26:16.160 me up at night. The reality is the Republican Party 0:26:16.600 --> 0:26:19.960 as it stands today. I'm not talking about the Party 0:26:19.960 --> 0:26:25.200 of Lincoln. I'm not talking about that these people chose 0:26:26.080 --> 0:26:32.719 whiteness over humanity. They held their noses and they voted 0:26:32.760 --> 0:26:37.639 for this monster. They closed their eyes and lined up 0:26:37.720 --> 0:26:44.119 behind him. Every white man, particularly in a position of 0:26:44.200 --> 0:26:48.600 power to check him and stop him, chose to not 0:26:49.160 --> 0:26:52.760 do it. I can go all the way back to Comy, 0:26:52.800 --> 0:26:57.560 I can go to Muller with his anemic response to Maddis. 0:26:57.960 --> 0:27:02.679 I'm calling them all out. Y'all had a chance to 0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:05.479 make sure that the American people were taken care of, 0:27:05.800 --> 0:27:12.879