Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. What makes a great leader?
Speaker 1: Is it courage, compassion, charisma, or is it an integrity
Speaker 1: and confidence that just leaks out of their pores, a
Speaker 1: calming strength that drips from every orifice in the way
Speaker 1: they give their blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids to
Speaker 1: make the world a better place. Since the election, Rudy
Speaker 1: Giuliani has been a national leader, spreading his patriotic message
Speaker 1: at political rally by landscaping company, parking lots and arenas
Speaker 1: across this great nation. But how did he become the
Speaker 1: man and or man like creature he is today? This
Speaker 1: is the daily show ography of Rudy Giuliani Oozing Greatness.
Speaker 1: Rudolph William Louis Giuliani was born in nineteen forty four
Speaker 1: in East Flatbush, New York. His father was an alleged
Speaker 1: mob enforcer who did time at Sing Sing for armed robbery.
Speaker 1: He would tell me, never take any pals his money.
Speaker 1: Make sure you always pay for things. I mean. He
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that I didn't make the same
Speaker 1: mistakes that he believed he of me. It was an
Speaker 1: inspiring message from a father. Come up with your own
Speaker 1: original crimes and he would to keep Rudy away from
Speaker 1: New York City's criminal element. The family moved to the suburbs.
Speaker 1: I can remember as a youngster that my father would
Speaker 1: sometimes threaten me with putting me in public school if
Speaker 1: my behavior didn't improve, and that was a very frightening thought.
Speaker 1: But I was a product of Catholic education, and it
Speaker 1: instilled in me from very early agents desire to be
Speaker 1: a priest. That's right, Juliani almost became a man of
Speaker 1: the cloth instead of a man of sweaty handkerchiefs. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: he chose not to pursue the priesthood, deciding instead to
Speaker 1: marry his childhood sweetheart, who also happened to be his
Speaker 1: second cousin. And while today that may be seen as weird,
Speaker 1: back then it was seen as super gross. After graduating
Speaker 1: law school, Giuliani began his meteoric career, quickly rising to
Speaker 1: the third highest position at President Reagan's Justice Department. He
Speaker 1: was the youngest person ever to hold the job, but
Speaker 1: he was already sporting the comb over of a man
Speaker 1: twice his age. Soon, Rudy was u S Attorney for
Speaker 1: the Southern District of New York. Rudy wasn't afraid to
Speaker 1: take on criminals, or to give lots of press conferences
Speaker 1: about how we took on criminals. Well, I think of
Speaker 1: five or six or seven years ago, nobody would believe
Speaker 1: it was possible to convict the head of the Sicilian
Speaker 1: mafia and have him sitting in the Metropolitan Correction Center.
Speaker 1: He loved the camera and the camera just wanted to
Speaker 1: be friends. But soon taking credit for arrest wasn't enough.
Speaker 1: He had to pretend to make the arrests himself. I
Speaker 1: bought Crack, had a female d agent who was like
Speaker 1: theoretically my date, and we went up when we purchased
Speaker 1: Cracking Washington Heights. Now that's what I call going undercover.
Speaker 1: Tell me you don't think he smoke Crack before picking
Speaker 1: out that outfit. With his crime fighting career burning hotter
Speaker 1: than totally normal lust between second cousins, Rudy set his
Speaker 1: sights on elected office. He first ran for mayor of
Speaker 1: New York in nineteen nine, but he didn't quite have
Speaker 1: the name recognition he needed to win. I would like
Speaker 1: to command Republican candidate Rudolph Gjohani Rudy, Sorry, bet Wow.
Speaker 1: Tough break for Rudy Geophiliuni. Four years later, Rudy tried again,
Speaker 1: and this time he had the perfect foil to rally
Speaker 1: his voters against New York's first black mayor. Denouncing David
Speaker 1: Dinkins is soft on crime, Giuliani led off duty police
Speaker 1: officers in a peaceful protest. Then minutes later, thousands of
Speaker 1: cops stored through the barricades and ran on top of
Speaker 1: cars as they charged the stairs of city. Okay, it
Speaker 1: was a peaceful, ish protest. At least, hyping up a
Speaker 1: crowd to storm a government building would be good practice
Speaker 1: for him, So through sheer charisma and just a little
Speaker 1: hint of police intimidation, he finally became Mayor Geohani sorry Giuliani.
Speaker 1: Over the next decade, Giuliani took New York City from
Speaker 1: a gutter toilet of violence and sex and piss and
Speaker 1: turned it into a clean, safe utopia with ample magazine
Speaker 1: jobs that allowed young women to live in giant apartments
Speaker 1: with walking closets and so many shoes. Under Giuliani, the
Speaker 1: New York Police Department pioneered some of the most iconic
Speaker 1: anti crime tactics of the era, like stop and frisk,
Speaker 1: broken windows, policing, sexual assault with a broom handle and
Speaker 1: shooting an innocent guy so many times Bruce Springsteen wrote
Speaker 1: a song about it. And Giuliani didn't just go after criminals,
Speaker 1: He went after all poor people and the most hilarious sways.
Speaker 1: Look at you lying there like that. Don't you have
Speaker 1: any dignity lying on your butt all day collecting welfare? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think he was still buying crack. Giuliani was bringing
Speaker 1: glamor back to New York City, and if he was
Speaker 1: making a few enemies, he was also making some good friends.
Speaker 1: You know, you're really beautiful. Oh. He Finally, Rudy found
Speaker 1: a disguise that managed to fool someone dumber than a
Speaker 1: crack dealer. By now, Giuliani was ready to shake things up.
Speaker 1: He dumped his second wife at a press conference without
Speaker 1: telling her first. In many ways, we've grown grown to
Speaker 1: live independent and separate lives, leaving her to respond with
Speaker 1: her own statement about how he was a cheating hoe.
Speaker 1: For several years, it was difficult to participate in Rudy's
Speaker 1: public life because of his relationship with one fat member.
Speaker 1: Rudy moved out of the Mayor's mansion and crashed with
Speaker 1: some friends. A gay couple in their pet shitsu while
Speaker 1: running a losing Senate race against Hillary Clinton. Honestly, his
Speaker 1: life was a lot simpler when he was just banging
Speaker 1: his cousin. And then just as his term was coming
Speaker 1: to an end, Rudy Giuliani found himself right where he
Speaker 1: needed to be. New York is going to be here,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna rebuild, and we're going to be stronger
Speaker 1: than we were before. Nine eleven gave Rudy his big
Speaker 1: promotion to America's mayor, and that's when the party started.
Speaker 1: That is a gentleman, Please welcome Mayor of New York City,
Speaker 1: the Honorable Rudolph Giuliani. Yes, no one rose to greater
Speaker 1: prominence after nine eleven than Rudy Giuliani, except maybe Bin Laden.
Speaker 1: By two thousand and eight, Giuliani was finally confident enough
Speaker 1: to admit he was bald and to make a play
Speaker 1: for the highest office in the land. Rudy is in
Speaker 1: America's mayor, now wants to be America's president anyway. He
Speaker 1: came in six and Iowan was out of the race
Speaker 1: by February. By the time the elect Janieer came around,
Speaker 1: Giuliani had realized he didn't need to be president, he
Speaker 1: could just be friends with one. It was a win
Speaker 1: win friendship. Trump gave Rudy the power he was longing for,
Speaker 1: and Rudy made Trump look attractive by comparison as Trump's bff.
Speaker 1: Rudy was really going places, even if he didn't always
Speaker 1: seem to know where he was, from the top to
Speaker 1: the bottom, from the middle to the side. The next
Speaker 1: four years were a whirlwind of campaigning, lawyering, cheerleading, extorting, treasoning,
Speaker 1: and insurrectioning. By the time it was over, Giuliani lost
Speaker 1: his law license, several gallons of hair dye, a variety
Speaker 1: of electronic devices seized by the FBI, and most of all,
Speaker 1: his dignity. It's Rudy Giuliani and I'm on Gamrie in
Speaker 1: the pay for place. But Rudy is still using on,
Speaker 1: enjoying life to the fullest, maybe even too much. I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever done an interview drunk. I have sometimes.
Speaker 1: I mean I drink normally. I like Scotch. I drink Scotch.
Speaker 1: So you do not believe that you have a drinking problem.
Speaker 1: I know, I don't know, don't believe it. I know
Speaker 1: I'm not I know Prince Andrew is very questionable. Now.
Speaker 1: I never went out with him ever, never, never had
Speaker 1: a drink with him, never was with a woman or
Speaker 1: a young girl with him. One time I met him
Speaker 1: in my office and one time when we had the party,
Speaker 1: right Bernie, you were there. Yes. Whether he's standing tall
Speaker 1: through nine eleven or a blood alcohol level of nine eleven,
Speaker 1: Rudy Giuliani is a born leader, making his mark wherever
Speaker 1: he goes, one that no stain can ever take away.
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Speaker 1: This has been a Comedy Central podcast