WEBVTT - Armageddon 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:03.760 On the beck Dog Cast, the questions asked if movies 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:07.480 have women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:11.639 and husbands, or do they have individualism? The patriarchy zef 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:16.880 invest start changing it with the beck Del cast. How 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:21.919 does the song start? I could see awake just to 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:30.560 hear you dreaming or something like that. Why is sleeping 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:43.159 fouing dreaming? I could spend my life in this sweet surrendoum, 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:47.599 I just scared my cat, I guess last in this moment, 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:54.280 wouldn't you sing about your daughter like that? If you 0:00:54.360 --> 0:01:00.240 saw raw silent footage of Ben Affleck shoving a am 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:04.839 Cracker down your daughter's pants, wouldn't you write that song? 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:14.720 To listen with you? Is a moment including the Graham 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:19.759 Cracker thing. I don't want to close man, okay twisted? 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:23.639 Is this twisted father's singing a song about his daughter 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:28.320 or is this a man singing a song about a 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:32.119 woman he's in love with? Look, my mom and I 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:35.679 have really discussed this over the years and come to 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:40.000 the conclusion that it can be read either way if 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:43.520 you don't have the context of armageddon. I don't want 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:45.640 to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:47.440 because I miss you, babe, and I don't want to 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:50.600 miss a thing. Can't be described to describe how you 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.560 feel about how much you love your child. You don't 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:55.080 want to miss a moment of their childhood you love 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.760 them so much. Also personal history between Steven Tyler and 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:01.720 liv Tyler. She didn't know that she was his daughter, 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.920 and I believe he didn't know either until she was 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.320 like eleven or twelve, So he missed a large portion 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:10.000 of her childhood. So it perhaps even makes sense that 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:11.880 he didn't want to miss a thing. He'd already missed 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:16.280 so many things eleven years worth. I know. Damn God. 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.320 The Live Tyler paternity story. It lives on with our 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:23.840 greatest roller coaster band, Aerosmith. Have you ever been the 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.280 Aerosmith roller coaster? I have not, but I've heard you 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:30.400 tell of it many times. I won't shut up about 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:34.080 it because it's so shocking to me that they haven't, 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:38.960 like changed the band. It's like, but but they can't. 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:43.120 Where is this at again? It's at Disney World. It's 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:45.519 at Disney World. It's called the rock and roller Coaster. 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:49.160 My parents and I like made eight Well, my mom 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:51.880 my dad thinks Aerosmith is corny and for losers because 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:55.919 he's a punk, right, But my mom opposite of a punk, 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.600 and so went the first time we went to Disney 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.680 World when I was like thirteen, it was a big 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.079 deal for her. She doesn't like going on roller coasters, 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.520 but she loves Aerosmith so much, and she's like, even 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.200 though the roller coaster goes upside down, I'm gonna go 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:13.440 on it because I love Steven Tyler and the thing 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.400 is about the rock and roller coaster. I would love 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:19.600 to know more about the history of it because it 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:23.400 is so themed around the band and the lore of 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.040 the band Aerosmith, that it would actually be kind of 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:31.080 challenging to re theme, like it's it's so specific. I 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:33.919 don't know how they pulled it off, but I'm sure 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.160 there's a very long YouTube video I could watch and 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:41.320 find out. It's an awesome roller coaster. It's like Steven 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.680 Tyler in in the video you watch in the line 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:46.000 and he's like, come on, guys, we're gonna be late 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:52.440 to the recording studio, and you're like, yeah, exactly. Well, anyways, 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:54.840 I don't think this song plays in the roller coaster 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:59.080 because it's kind of slow but it would be funny. 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:01.560 It should It could be one of those like lazy 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:07.520 River ride songs. The Arasmith lazy river is kind of 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:12.320 a cruel, diabolical idea. How many have you ever read 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.040 studies about how much human ship ends up in the 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:19.320 lazy river? No, and I don't want to know. Never 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:23.000 go in a lazy river. I would. I feel confident 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:25.239 that there's a lot of pists in there, but people 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.159 poop and definitely, I mean the piss goes without saying, 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:33.080 there is some physical I read about it once. I'm sorry, 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:36.200 I'm a I'm a scientist about as much as Bruce 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:40.120 Willis is and Armageddon, Like, I read about it once, 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:43.600 and there is some sort of physical effect that, like 0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:46.520 a lazy river has on you that like loosens up 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:51.360 that butt hole. It makes it easy to just right 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:56.320 out right out. What's the name of this show? This 0:04:56.400 --> 0:05:04.640 is This is the Bechtel Cast, And I'm Caitlin Toronte. 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:09.600 Who are you? Thank you for the reminder. I'm Jamie Loftus, 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.800 and this is our show, um where we take a 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:16.760 look at your favorite movies or you know, impactful one 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:22.280 could say deep impactful movies. And we are bringing a 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:26.360 disaster movie to you today. We're bringing Armageddon, directed by 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:29.479 Michael Bay because Caitlin and I were looking at genres 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.760 we haven't covered in many moons, and action and disaster 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.960 have been kind of, you know, few and far between recently, 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:40.360 So we chose the biggest goofiest one we get requests for, 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:44.559 and we're going to analyze it from an intersectional feminist lens, 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.920 and I'm sure it's going to do great. Um, what's 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:50.800 the metric we use as a jumping off point for discussion, Caitlin, 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.800 It's the Bechtel cast. No, if that's the name of 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:57.680 the show, let me try again. Yep, yep, it's the 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:02.240 Bechtel Test, which is media metric created by queer cartoonist 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:06.800 Alison Bechdel, sometimes called the Bechdel Wallace Test. She included 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:10.640 it in her comic Likes to Watch Out For from 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:14.520 n originally just as a kind of one off joke, 0:06:15.160 --> 0:06:20.039 which has since been used as the media metric that 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:25.360 we now know and love, which requires our version. There 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:29.520 are many versions, but ours requires that there be two 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:34.240 characters of a marginalized gender who have names, who speak 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:38.440 to each other, and whose conversation is about something other 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:41.359 than a man, and for our purposes, we like it 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.600 when it's a media conversation, maybe one of the size 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:49.159 of Texas even God. And you know, this movie has 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.640 a lot of words in it, but words spoken between women. 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:57.840 Don't be ridiculous. You're yeah right, Oh you silly billy. 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:01.919 What do you have space dementia? You'd have space dementia 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.440 to think that this movie would pass the back tole test. 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.800 But nevertheless, it made half a billion dollars and a 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:10.480 lot of people still really liked this movie. It's true 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.920 and I will say it is a Aerosmith got my 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.560 mom in the theaters, but she loved this movie. Wait, okay, 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:21.480 so let's so, Jamie, what is your relationship and your 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:28.640 mom's relationship where importantly relationship? Um, I don't have a 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:32.400 huge relationship with Armageddon. I have a huge relationship with 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:38.160 the Tyler family, more so Stephen. To be honest, because Aerosmith, 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.000 they're blessed in band. We're very proud of them, and well, 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.200 you know, but not the Boston Punks. And that's where 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.560 my dad comes in. But I you know, I grew 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:53.040 up around aeron Smith, posters and music. So my mom, 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.160 my mom loved this movie. I remember that we owned 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:58.880 it on VHS, and I remember being too young to 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:02.560 watch it and that was really long, and that I, 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.040 in spite of saying for a couple of years that 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:07.120 I wanted to be an astronaut, I think I said 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:11.000 it because it sounded good. Because I was stunningly disinterested 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:14.920 in space. Um, I didn't really want to watch any 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:16.960 space movies. I remember my mom being like, you can't 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.440 watch Armageddon. You could watch Apollo thirteen, and I was like, 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:24.280 I would I would really not want to do that. 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:29.920 Sounds sounds boring. Is actually a pretty solid movie. But anyway, 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.400 that's the Tom Hanks one. I also haven't seen Deep Impact. 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:36.040 I hadn't seen Contact until we watched it, and I 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:40.160 quite liked I'm more interested in space now, getting defensive. 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.920 I saw I saw different chunks of it growing up, 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:46.560 but I never really took the initiative to watch it 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:49.760 all the way through. Um so this is my first 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:52.679 time watching it all the way through. Oh and I 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.720 remember when The Army when the Ben Affleck commentary track 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:57.920 leaked a couple of years back, because that was a 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:03.840 treat more more kind of Boston Cannon present here. But um, yeah, 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:05.880 I've never seen it all the way through before. I 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:10.960 was preparing for this episode and wow, wow, wow, I 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:14.120 will say I think Michael Bay wanted me to laugh 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:20.400 and cry. I did laugh. I didn't cry. I didn't cry, 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:22.760 even when the movie said so. I didn't cry because 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.480 when someone was dying, I'm like, I don't know who 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.080 that is. You cut to them and away from them 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:31.840 so quickly that I didn't catch you mean the scene 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:34.319 and then I looked at it and I was like, oh, 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:36.800 I guess he's gone. You mean the scene where they're 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:42.640 like we lost Grouber and everyone's like, Grouper? Are we 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.760 supposed to care about Grouper? We haven't even met him yet? 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:47.880 And I thought it was kind of bizarre that they, 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.520 I mean, because Bruce Willis was always going to be 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:52.600 in this movie, even when it was being written, Like 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:58.079 why Bruce Willis there's already a Grouper associated with him, 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.560 Hans groupers Gruber. You're gonna put another grouper in a 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.959 Bruce Willis movie, bad idea. I still don't know who 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:08.439 Grouper is. I'll be honest. This movie was cutting back. 0:10:08.480 --> 0:10:10.720 I mean, I think that that was like I learned 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:12.960 that that was a huge criticism of it at the time, 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:14.880 to where it was cut so quickly that it's like 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:16.800 it kind of gives you a headache and it's hard 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:20.720 to tell, yeah, because the pace. I mean, even Michael 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:25.680 Bay has admitted that the movie was edited very quickly 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:31.640 and that his visual effects supervisor had break up. He 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.640 gave no more information than that, which is kind of 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:36.760 a funny way about how Michael Bay talks. He'll say 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:40.720 something horrific and then just like start another sentence. But Yeah, 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:43.680 there were characters that I assumed had died in the 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.000 Like there's a point in the movie where you lose 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:47.520 a couple of characters, and I was like, oh, I 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:51.000 haven't seen quote unquote the woman in a while. I 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:54.920 guess that she died, but she didn't. She just disappeared 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:58.360 for thirty five minutes, but I guess she was there. 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:02.240 And fine, what's your history with this movie, Caitlin. I 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:05.200 had seen it before a couple of times. Uh. This 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:10.760 movie came out when I was twelve, so I was 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:18.640 among the many tween girls of the time where watching 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:22.600 this movie was like a rite of passage. Really, I mean, 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.360 it was like I didn't realize it was one of 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:29.040 those yeah yeah, interesting at least among my my friend group. 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.080 I believe you. I just didn't know. Oh yeah, you 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:36.440 watched it sleepovers. If you had like a boy girl hang, 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:40.200 if someone's like mom would let you have girls and 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:43.920 boys over, then you'd watch this because it's horny and 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:48.040 Ben Affleck puts an animal cracker on Live Tyler's boobs 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:52.160 and when people get all tense during that. Probably I 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.880 don't know. It was so many decades ago I barely 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:59.439 remembers are so twisted, um, but I do remember the 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:07.200 kids crying during the sacrificial Bruce Willis scene because she 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:11.440 does say daddy, she really does um. And the song 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:18.320 and the Aerosmith song played at every school dance from two, 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:21.280 I mean probably even after I graduated high school, which 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:25.640 was oh four, it was like the slow song. If 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:30.160 the Armageddon song came on, you better fucking fund yourself 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:36.319 a hetero dance partner and slow dance your night away. 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.840 I feel like it still gets like pretty decent wedding 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:43.480 play to this day. Sure, And it is my maybe 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:48.480 like number to go to karaoke song because this song 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:52.920 slaps as a karaoke song. It's hot. Tip for everybody, 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.760 can I shut up? The composer of this song, she's 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:59.280 kind of an icon um. She's an interest, or at 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:02.200 least an interesting character for She's also like a boomer 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:06.359 woman who occasionally tweets, and her tweets are not like offensive, 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.679 but they are inscrutable in a way that people seem 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:14.320 to find worthy of discussion. Anyways, her name is Diane Warren. 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:18.600 She I believe she eventually won, but she's like, she's 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:23.040 like a famous songwriter and composer, um who for a 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:25.640 very okay, so for a very very long time. She's 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:29.280 been nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Song, 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:34.240 including this one uh one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:40.120 twelve thirteen times, never won, and then they gave her 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.600 an honorary award last year. I think because they were like, 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.040 oh my god, we gotta give Diane some we keep 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:49.240 snubbing her. She's written like a lot of iconic songs. 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:51.080 This one might be the most famous. But she also 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.040 know well she did if I could turn back time 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:56.240 by share because you loved me, Celine Dione. She's kind 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.719 of in charge of weddings, Um, how do I live 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:02.160 without you? Leanne Ryan Rhythm of the Night. I mean 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:06.599 she's bangers, she's got bops, she's got hit, But I 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.640 mean I don't want to miss a thing that's right 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.400 up there. So then we have to extend the Lord 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.000 because I didn't realize Steven Tyler didn't write that song. 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.800 Is Diane Warren? Is it a coincidence? Or is Diane 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:21.560 Warren writing how she thinks Steven Tyler fields when he 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:25.280 thinks about not being around for live Tyler's childhood? Hard 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:29.200 to say, hard, so hard to say. The point is 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:33.920 I did see this movie a couple of times as 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:39.200 a youth, but I never liked it because, you know why, 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:42.640 if there's going to be a disaster movie that I'm 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:47.160 going to watch a lot during this time frame of 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.440 the late nineties, it's going to be Titanic. I was 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:52.200 too busy watching Titanic every day to care about Armageddon. 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.680 So it's true, and this movie is clearly trying to, 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:01.040 you know, pull from the Titanic playbook a bit tearl 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:05.360 Harbor even more. Michael Bays saw Titanic and he's like, shit, 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.280 I have to do that, and then he did a 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:13.080 fucking terrible job. But he really did try to replicate 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:17.040 Titanic with Pearl Harbor, and he mentions. He mentions in 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.680 one of these interviews, he gives retrospectively, UM. I believe 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:25.040 it's interview where he apologizes for making the movie. Um. 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.720 But then later he's like, I was misquoted. I didn't 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.240 mean it. I do think he was misquoted because I 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:31.760 read the full interview and it did. It was a 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:35.160 very clicky title. It's like he didn't apologize, he just 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:40.280 contextualized why the third act is really sloppy, which it is. 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.600 But he mentions James Cameron in that interview. He says, 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.360 I called James Cameron and asked, what do you do 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:48.880 when you're doing all the effects yourself? But the movie 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.560 did fine, So he's sort of also admitting that the 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:56.760 effects look kind of like baffling and and and shitty. 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.440 They're shitty. It's pretty shifty about it. He I know 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.360 there's no fire in space, but it is a movie, 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.880 and most people don't know that he's a bad man. 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.520 But that is iconic, that's funny and it's true. I 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:12.800 honestly I didn't read the highlight reel from the Armageddon 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:16.240 commentary soundtrack, which goes viral every so often because it 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.800 is like very ridiculous. Oh, I have some quotes that 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.320 I am prepared to share when the time comes. I yeah, 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.440 I mean, there was a great round up on the 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.840 Ringer about it. But I will say that I watched 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.640 the whole movie before going through that, and it did 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:34.400 not ping for me. Once that there was a fire 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.760 in space. I didn't think about it because I'm a 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:41.880 popcorn girl, which I don't know. I have no idea. 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:46.040 We're not scientists, famously, not in stem. We won't even 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:53.120 read a book like be serious. Um, alright, should we 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:57.440 get into it. Let's get into it. Let's take a 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:01.440 break first though, really ear upe for this. All right, 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:11.800 we'll be right back. Okay, and we're back Kitlin. What 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.200 the hell happens in the movie? I'll again, I actually 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:17.200 do think I need a few things. Um, I needed 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:21.919 a few blanks filled because I honestly, until the credit 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.680 scene where liv Tyler has the picture of the four 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:29.840 characters who died at her wedding, I was not who 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:35.199 made it. I knew Bruce Willis died, sure, but a 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.800 few of the guys have the same haircut. I thought 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:41.359 the guy that was banned from seeing his son died, 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.320 and I was like, well no, but then he he didn't. 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.800 He lived, and and continued to blow off the courthorder 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.399 that he couldn't see his son, and we were cheering, 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.159 and we were cheering. So I actually don't really know 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:56.880 who died. All right, Well I will tell you, okay. 0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:01.760 So we begin with voiceover from I think Charlton Heston 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:06.480 is what I saw in the credits, if I'm remembering correctly. Well, 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:10.080 let's talk about a talk about a bad person, seriously, 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:16.439 an iconically bad person. Yeah, he is describing a huge 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:21.280 meteor or meteorite or asteroid. I don't know the difference, 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.960 and I didn't look it up, but one of those 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:28.200 things hit the Earth millions of years ago and caused 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:31.679 the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. And they're like, and 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:35.280 it will probably happen again, it's just a matter of when. 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:40.120 It's so dramatic and also completely unnecessary. And that's how 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:43.280 you know you just started watching a Michael Bay movie 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:47.439 right exposition there, And I bet it cost a million 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.400 dollars studio for a reason. Okay, So then we cut 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:55.720 to present day. Ak we are in space ever heard 0:18:55.760 --> 0:19:00.720 of it? Suddenly a meteor shower strikes and blows up 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:05.320 a space shuttle, and then New York City gets pummeled 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:10.080 by these meteors or meteorites or asteroids. Did you did 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:13.280 you know? Simply don't know. There's like a dog in 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.840 the New York scene, and for some reason, whatever happened 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:18.760 with the dog, which I think the dog just like 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:24.359 bites a Godzilla toy. Yes, that costs what That's what 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.840 Michael Bay said in the commentary. He's well, he's not 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:28.800 gonna tell you why, He's just gonna tell you it costs. 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:34.080 He also said Ben Afflex, Oh, Ben Affleck's teeth cost 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:37.719 twenty dollars. This is a movie much like an Angel 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:42.040 gets gets its wings and after gets their teeth. When 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:45.119 Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay say, I hate looking at 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:49.280 your mouth. It looks disgusting from an up angle. According 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:53.080 to me, he keeps saying in the commentary and in 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:57.399 other interviews that like I had these little baby teeth, 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:01.280 and you know, Jerry Bruckheimer, we've talked about on the 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:03.919 show for years, for the better part of a decade 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:06.240 at this point, we talked about if you're in a 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:09.199 j Jerry Bruckheimer movie and you're going to get a 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:12.560 close up. Guess what, babe, you need a new set 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.480 of choppers. You're you're gonna get new teeth, and they're 0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:18.480 gonna be big. They're about a foot tall. They're gonna 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:21.520 be all the same length. We're gonna be blindingly white. 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:25.760 And so Ben Affleck got his teeth for this one, 0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:29.600 and they sent him to Tom Cruise's teeth guy. Oh sure. 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:34.800 Michael Bays says in the interview that he that Jerry 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.880 Bruckheimer had worked on a quote unquote plane movie, which 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:41.840 is how he described Top Gun, which is weird. He 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:44.560 said Bruckheimer had worked on a orse Jerry had worked 0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:48.760 on a plane movie. When Michael Bay talks about Jerry Bruckheimer, 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:54.880 it does sound like Seinfeld episode descriptions because of how 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:59.280 he talks. He kind of talks like Jason Alexander does 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:02.960 and I weld, and he's always talking about a guy 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:08.080 named Jerry who's doing something, um weird. So I told Jerry, God, 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:10.040 he's got those baby teeth. Jerry, I don't know what 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:14.920 to do. You're like, that sounds like SEINFELDT. Yeah, anyways, 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:20.119 it's true. Okay, So the movie what happens we cut 0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:26.040 two various like government and military officials such as the 0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:29.520 head of NASA, this guy named Truman played by Billy 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:32.920 Bob Thornton I love when he's serious, as well as 0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:38.320 General Kimsey played by Keith David. There's also a guy 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:43.399 with a huge telescope named Carl who is extremely verbally 0:21:43.400 --> 0:21:48.880 abusive to his wife and his wife Dottie. Yeah, but 0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:51.760 but it's Michael Bay movie, so his verbal abuse is 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:55.960 a joke. It's supposed to be funny. Yeah, And everyone's like, 0:21:56.000 --> 0:22:00.600 what is what the hell is going on? And soon 0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:04.679 they figure out that an asteroid the size of Texas 0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:09.080 is on a collision course to Earth. No matter where 0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:11.800 it hits, it will wipe out all of life as 0:22:11.800 --> 0:22:15.720 we know it, and it will hit Earth in eighteen days. 0:22:17.160 --> 0:22:21.880 Cut to Harry Stamper that's Bruce Willis. He is the 0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:27.239 owner of an oil rig. He discovers that one of 0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:31.520 his employees, a j that's been affleck and his teeth 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:37.159 and his teeth credited separately. Yeah, the whole package has 0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:41.920 had sex with Harry's daughter Grace, that's Live Tyler. And 0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:45.560 he pulls out a gun and starts shooting at a 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:50.359 j on an oil rig. Okay, just a second. It 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:56.360 is very silly and action movie and testosterone. Michael bay 0:22:56.720 --> 0:23:03.359 choice to make Bruce this open fire on an oil 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:06.359 rig that he owns to protect his daughter, who he 0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:09.600 would absolutely kill along with everyone he knows if he 0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:13.199 shot the wrong area of the oil rig, which is 0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:15.280 most areas you really shouldn't shoot a gun on an 0:23:15.280 --> 0:23:18.240 oil rigue. What I find more interesting and like a 0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:21.320 lot of what I thought was like interesting about watching 0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:24.320 this movie was like the very I don't know, Like 0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:30.000 Michael Bay does a lot of like hypernationalistic imagery and 0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:32.600 ideas that he pushes in his movies, and I don't 0:23:32.600 --> 0:23:36.800 think he wrote this. I mean there's like credited writers. 0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:39.280 It's kind of like we don't really know who wrote 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:43.000 this boofy. That's part of the mystery, But I don't know. 0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:48.320 Just like thinking about how it was very plausible to 0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:52.600 have the hero of your movie be the owner of 0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:56.000 an oil rig. I don't think that that would happen, 0:23:56.160 --> 0:23:58.679 at least in a way that would be mass appealing today, 0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:01.679 because I like Bruce Willis character is very much like 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:05.359 a working class hero, which is a part he plays 0:24:05.480 --> 0:24:08.480 very well. But the fact that they choose and that 0:24:08.560 --> 0:24:12.960 it's important to the plot that he is like not tycoon, 0:24:13.040 --> 0:24:16.160 I guess, but like he's certainly doing fine. He owns 0:24:16.160 --> 0:24:19.479 a fucking oil rig. Like I mean, I think he 0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:23.280 might be a tycoon because he's the best driller in 0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:26.680 the world. So Ben Affleck has some thoughts on that. 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:30.080 I can't wait to talk about it. But no, I 0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:34.520 I wrote down like the irony of these oil drillers 0:24:34.680 --> 0:24:37.720 saving the planet from an asteroid only to go back 0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:42.240 to Earth and absolutely destroy our planet via oil drilling. 0:24:42.640 --> 0:24:45.679 That's like that's what he has returned. I mean, I mean, 0:24:45.720 --> 0:24:48.360 I guess he doesn't return, but you as I mean 0:24:48.400 --> 0:24:51.520 as Bushemy just going back on the oil rig. Also, 0:24:51.800 --> 0:24:54.880 Bushem's character diabolical for a lot of reasons because there's 0:24:54.920 --> 0:24:59.280 a lot of heavy Like they're insinuating that he is 0:24:59.320 --> 0:25:02.280 a child set offender correct over and over as a joke, 0:25:02.400 --> 0:25:07.360 which is I was not particularly surprised that this director 0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:10.600 had no issue with that. But in any case, on 0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:15.840 top of the nudge nudge wink wink about that, he's 0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:19.119 also they're like they're like Steve Bushemi's character is a genius, 0:25:19.760 --> 0:25:23.520 which means he knows better than to do what he's doing, right, 0:25:23.800 --> 0:25:28.160 which is diabolically plunge the Earth for its natural resources. Yeah, 0:25:28.160 --> 0:25:29.560 so they saved the world, but they're going to come 0:25:29.560 --> 0:25:32.800