1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny, and welcome to stuff I've never 2 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: told your production of Iuyheart Ideo and yes I am 3 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 1: by myself today. Samantha's family stuff she's doing. So for 4 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: this classic I wanted to bring up. This is the 5 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: first in the series that we did of Monday minis 6 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: about women and happiness. We'll probably bring all of them 7 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: back soon, but this is part one. It was on 8 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: my mind because you probably heard, but in the twenty 9 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: twenty four World Happiness Report, the US fell out of 10 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: the top twenty on this list for the first time 11 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: in twelve years. So we're now at number twenty three. 12 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 1: The year previously, we were at number fifteen, and one 13 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: of the major reasons cited for that was the election 14 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: and just general political unrest. But I thought it was 15 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: interesting and we did talk about this index and some 16 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: of the happiest countries when we did this this four 17 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,480 Speaker 1: part mini series, so I thought we could bring this 18 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: back and reflect on some of it. So please enjoy 19 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: this classic episode. Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and 20 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: welcome to Stefan never told you a protection of iHeartRadio. 21 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 2: And welcome to another edition of the Monday Mini series. 22 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 3: Yes, Happy Monday. 23 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 4: Happy Monday, and today surprisingly is not a TikTok talk. 24 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 4: You're welcome, man, No, Samantha's TikTok talk. Know Samantha's TikTok talk. Today, 25 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,959 Speaker 4: it's April and it's very rainy. It's coming in like 26 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 4: a lion right in the hut goes yeah. 27 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 5: I don't know the saying is coming in. 28 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 3: Like a lion, leaves like a lamb something. 29 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 5: Yeah or something like that. And this is April? Is 30 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 5: it March? 31 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 3: March? March comes in. 32 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 4: May flowers, April showers, bring May flowers. There. It is 33 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 4: April and it's very stormy. That was what I was 34 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:44,399 Speaker 4: trying to say, in my very inarticulate, typical manner where 35 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 4: I get all of my sayings and phrases wrong and 36 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 4: typically say. 37 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 5: The wrong word. 38 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 4: I like that, man, Why am I a podcaster anyway? 39 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 4: But yes, it's April, except for today. The weather has 40 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 4: been nice and then today is now all thundery and stormy. 41 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 4: But because it has been nice and beautiful, and because 42 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 4: we've been through some tough things, things that are happening. 43 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 4: The US is not very stable right now, whether it's 44 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:19,519 Speaker 4: due to the policies that people are enacting, the racism 45 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 4: that is happening, and the anti blackness that's happening with 46 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,679 Speaker 4: our Supreme Court justice nominee going through her questioning, it's 47 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 4: the whole thing, y'all. 48 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 5: But you know, I was really going. 49 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 4: To try to do a cheery, happier subject for the 50 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 4: start of this week or whenever you're listening, for the 51 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 4: start of the beginning of this podcast episode, because I'm 52 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 4: also known as the negative one that kind of goes 53 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 4: a pessimistic turn. I'm like, you know what, I'm really 54 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 4: I'm really gonna do a good I'm gonna do a 55 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 4: cheery one. 56 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 5: We're going to be happy. 57 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 4: And as I was trying to research good things that 58 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 4: are happening, good news for women around the world, I 59 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 4: didn't find much any and I don't know if it's 60 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 4: because again my Google such as like you're from the US, 61 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 4: you only want the US news. There is a problem 62 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 4: when it comes to savoroutism in Western culture where we 63 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:19,920 Speaker 4: kind of fetish size trauma and also saving people. So 64 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 4: we take these good d's and make it something that 65 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 4: people just want to watch. I know they call it. 66 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 4: I think some people call it trauma porn all that 67 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 4: where they thrive and see people suffer and then having 68 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 4: someone film them being filmed saving them. And I'm not 69 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,799 Speaker 4: gonna lie. That is something I hate with a passion 70 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 4: and I will not ever ever praise that in any way. 71 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 4: So outside of those things, I really couldn't fight much. 72 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:49,040 Speaker 4: But it did take me down a rabbit hole of things. 73 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 4: And it's specifically about women in happiness and contentment. So 74 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 4: it's like, you know what, let's let's google just google 75 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 4: women in happiness and we got some interesting results. 76 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 5: Annie didn't way. 77 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 4: And because I did, I did find a few articles, 78 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 4: some very outdated, some a little bit newer, very different 79 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 4: points of perspective. We decided that we were going to 80 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,359 Speaker 4: read a couple of articles for specifically, So we're going 81 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 4: to take this in two parts because I think it's 82 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 4: it's a little bit themed. Two parts to what we 83 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,919 Speaker 4: have found in a few of the articles that we 84 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 4: found interesting and wanted to talk about and discuss. So 85 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 4: pretty much the entirety of these articles were themed around 86 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 4: happiness and women. 87 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 5: Just remember this. 88 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 4: So Part one Monday Mini happiness women and this has 89 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 4: a little more to do with like women and their 90 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 4: bodies and or having children and what their what the 91 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 4: meaning of life is right right, right, So yeah, let's 92 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,359 Speaker 4: read some of these articles and then dissect, shall we. 93 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 4: And of course, even though it's just Annie and I 94 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 4: on the mic right now, we love your opinions and 95 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 4: your thoughts. And if you have thoughts outside of what 96 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 4: we are going to say, please send it so we 97 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 4: can have that. 98 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 5: As a part of the discussion in a different episode. 99 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: Yes, also if you have any good news, because clearly 100 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 1: we're struggling to find some struggling. 101 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 4: We are hoping to get some good news soon, I 102 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 4: will say. But also we would love it to be 103 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 4: outside of the US. And by the way, apparently we 104 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 4: have a big group of listeners in Australia, I believe. 105 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 4: I think we said Brazil and Chile before, So I 106 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 4: would love to hear this y'all give it to us. 107 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 4: And if you're from Finland, apparently Finland is the most 108 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 4: happy country to live in. Please y'all send us some 109 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 4: good news because I didn't know. 110 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 3: Okay, yes, all right, let's go all right. 111 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 4: So here's one of the articles I found, and I 112 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 4: have a feeling y'all are going to know what type 113 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 4: of news article this is. But the title of it 114 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 4: is why don't we tell women making them miserable. And 115 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 4: it is written by Carrie Gress. It was written in 116 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 4: August twenty ninth to twenty twenty one. And by the way, 117 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 4: the other part to this title is feminism and its Failures. 118 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 5: Ah, I feel like that's a big heads up. 119 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I think so okay. 120 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 4: So with so many feminist advances, women should be getting 121 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 4: happier instead of just more medicated. Over the last five decades, 122 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 4: feminism has made a long march through American culture, culminating 123 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 4: in the first female vice president of the United States. 124 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 4: But it isn't clear that feminism's fruits are helping everyone happy. 125 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 4: These metrics confirm that women are struggling. Suicides, depression, substance abuse, 126 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 4: and sexually transmitted infections have all increased dramatically over the 127 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 4: last five decades. Women aren't becoming happier, just more medicated. 128 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 4: A twenty twenty p report showed that over fifty percent 129 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 4: of liberal white women under thirty have some sort of 130 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 4: mental health issue. That statistic alone is stunning enough to 131 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 4: indicate that something is going very wrong for the modern woman. 132 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 4: Despite the study uptick of feminist advances, I recently had 133 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 4: dinner with two friends who work at a crisis pregnancy center. 134 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 3: Aha. 135 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 4: They told me some far from unusual stories about the 136 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 4: challenges their residents face and the rough living must have 137 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 4: experienced being trafficked, pimped, addicted, incarcerated, abuse, and on and on. 138 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 4: Crisis pregnancy centers, despite their recent mischaracterization in The Handmaid's Tale, 139 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,839 Speaker 4: do amazing work to protect and help rebuild the lives 140 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 4: of new mothers. But it is striking to consider that 141 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 4: we as a culture do precious little to help women 142 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 4: avoid those troublesome situations from the beginning. It is only 143 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 4: when women get this far down the road and in 144 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 4: this much trouble that mentoring women can step in and say, quote, 145 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 4: something has to change, and those in crisis are willing 146 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 4: to listen because they have tried everything else. As lives 147 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:09,079 Speaker 4: were rebuilt, basic changes to behavior are taught, albeit as 148 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 4: an uphill battle because of the absence of cultural support. 149 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 4: But most American women with money, degrees or connections will 150 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 4: never hear that our culturally prescribed feminist lifestyle is the 151 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 4: source of their unhappiness, struggles, and feeling of emptiness. It 152 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 4: seems that we just allow women to freefall into truly 153 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 4: awful states without even so much as the quickly spoken 154 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 4: warnings of side effects required for pharmaceutical commercials. Imagine what 155 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 4: that might sound like. Side effects may include sexually transmitted diseases, 156 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 4: debilitating depression, lonliness, despair, substance abuse, and suicide. The regular 157 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 4: belief is that human nature is plastic enough that we 158 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 4: can do whatever we want consequence free, But so many 159 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 4: devastated lives paint a different picture. The progressive solution, which 160 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 4: has been cycling around for decades, has been to fix 161 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 4: or shore up problems with more governmental assistance and programs. 162 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 4: Remember Julia, the imaginary woman who never needed a man. 163 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 4: This unintentionally dystopian portrait, thought up during the Obama administration, 164 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 4: was meant to let us know that government is here 165 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 4: to supply every need from birth to death without placing 166 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 4: any kind of demands on our behavior. Rarely is the 167 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,479 Speaker 4: suggestion made that women have been sold a poisonous lifestyle 168 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 4: and the behaviors implied and that lifestyle are what actually 169 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 4: need to be changed. Instead, we have a steady diet 170 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,839 Speaker 4: of articles such as anal sex safety how to s 171 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 4: tips and more. 172 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 5: Or how Summer Camp gave me. 173 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 4: The freedom to explore my queerness at teen Vogue, which 174 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 4: is marketed as the young Person's Guide to Saving the World. 175 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 4: College freshmen, now being oriented to their new life away 176 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 4: from home as the school year begins, are particularly targeted 177 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 4: in their new savage world, where anything goes as long 178 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 4: as therere consent, and maybe a mask heavy dose is 179 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 4: a gender exploration is safe. Sex practices and heaps of 180 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 4: contraceptives are all part of the welcome at most US 181 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 4: college campuses. But what if there's another way of living, 182 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 4: one that doesn't lead to the predictable road of confusion 183 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 4: and despair. Efforts are individuals that shed light on the 184 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 4: things that actually help women are met with leftist cries 185 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 4: and victimization, or by bullying or blaming the patriarchy. Hardly 186 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 4: the reason based argumentation radical feminism was supposed to provide, what, then, 187 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 4: should we be conveyed to women of every economic and 188 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 4: ethnic stripe to help us having fulfilling lives their basics 189 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:38,559 Speaker 4: such as, don't sleep around, don't do drugs, don't have abortions, 190 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 4: Stop blaming them the patriarchy, Find a purpose outside of yourself, 191 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 4: cover up some of that skin, don't overspend, and figure 192 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 4: out what is truly good and not just what celebrities say. 193 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 4: None of these suggestions is revolutionary, especially if one looks 194 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 4: honestly at history, or human nature or psychology. These elements, 195 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 4: which were obvious throughout most of human history, are the 196 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 4: real for so much that afflicts all of us. But 197 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 4: they are things radical feminists don't want to be spoken 198 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,839 Speaker 4: out loud. Over the last five decades, a carefully constructed 199 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 4: closed system has been created, so anything outside its boundaries 200 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 4: is almost unthinkable. Hollywood, universities, politics, the fashion industry, magazines, 201 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 4: daytime television, and book publishing generate enough ideology tell Weaving 202 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 4: that to make sure that there's only one narrative in town. 203 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 4: Faith and family are about the only outliers that might 204 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 4: let the slip show. Is in any wonder that these 205 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 4: two are under attack. But more satisfying ways to live 206 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 4: do exist. Ways there where dignity is honored, health is 207 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 4: truly valued, body parts aren't ignored or rendered useless, and relationships, 208 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 4: which are at the true heart of most women aren't 209 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 4: fleeting or shallow, useful or convenient, but deep, abiding, and 210 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 4: life giving. If only we could find a way to 211 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 4: tell this to every woman. 212 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:16,320 Speaker 1: Well, I think there are a lot of interesting things 213 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: going on in here. One of my main takeaways is 214 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 1: that I think that it's not necessarily the case that 215 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 1: rates have gone up in all of these things, but 216 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: perhaps that they are being more recorded or we're seeing 217 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,319 Speaker 1: them more, maybe they have gone up. But I don't 218 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:41,359 Speaker 1: think like that is you can't draw that parallel necessarily. 219 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 1: I also think like and this is more of a 220 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: philosophical question that I don't think we have time to 221 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: get into, but I do think. 222 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 3: There is. 223 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: It's hard to live in a society when you do 224 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: know you do see these injustices or that you're valued 225 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: bless or that you know you see like all these 226 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: restrictions around your body and just various levels where we 227 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 1: mentioned this recently, like where you don't have control and 228 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: you don't have control over yourself, over your body, you're 229 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: witnessing this, you're hearing conversations like this that can be 230 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 1: difficult and that can lead to substance abuse when you're 231 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: dealing with it every day, or like some unhealthy coping mechanism. 232 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: We've talked about that with trauma. People have these unhealthy 233 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 1: coping mechanisms, including me, where like basically you've got to 234 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 1: find a way to get through the day, and I 235 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: think feminism. I'm not saying that's good at all, but 236 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: I think we've become more aware of these injustices and 237 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: inequalities and inequities, and that is hard to deal with. 238 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: But it's not feminism's fault. It's more like we're becoming 239 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: more aware of these things. Right. 240 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 4: Here's the thing that I was going to say about 241 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 4: this article. I brought this article out because it was 242 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 4: one of the first things that popped up when I 243 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 4: was like women in Happiness, and I found that interesting 244 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 4: because we know when search engines have control. This writer 245 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 4: who doesn't like universities and education apparently, which by the way, 246 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 4: is a thing of her through my family that once 247 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 4: we become educated, we become more sinful. But she is 248 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 4: an actual scholar at the Institute of Human Ecology at 249 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 4: the Catholic University of America, So there's a lot to 250 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 4: be said to that be absolutely so this Pew report 251 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 4: or that she tried to cite, we're saying that women 252 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 4: of liberal women under the age of thirty have more 253 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 4: help diagnosis mental health diagnosis goes to another conservative blog 254 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 4: that quotes and pulls things out. 255 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 5: Talking also about postpartum depression. 256 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 4: Let's talk about the fact that this data also taught 257 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 4: leaves out a lot of the conversation of the fact, yes, 258 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 4: more women are actually being diagnosed today than ever because 259 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 4: they're actually seeking help right, So that's a whole different 260 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 4: level of conversation. Let's also talk about when she talks 261 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 4: about medication being about happiness. We are coming to a 262 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 4: point that sure medication has gone up. 263 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 5: I have talked about it as well. 264 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 4: In our system that we're giving I feel like we're 265 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 4: giving our children way too much because it's an overhaul. 266 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 4: But that's because we also are not funding or actually 267 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 4: giving right therapeutic options, which is very limited and often 268 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 4: condemned by conservatives. This article, I'm not gonna lie, obviously, 269 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 4: I read it in a way. I'm a little bit 270 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 4: biased and people we've already been raped over the coles 271 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 4: who are like y'all are biased. 272 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 5: Yes we are. 273 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 4: We are leftists, if that's what you want to call us. 274 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 4: We believe in the rights of women, we believe in 275 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 4: the rights of chance, we believe in the rights of queers. 276 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 4: We believe in working against anti black peoples and anybody 277 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 4: who is racist, as we're going to come at you 278 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 4: that's what we do. If you really thought Kristen and 279 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 4: Caroline weren't about life, y'all should go listen to their 280 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 4: stuff now and try to reassessed, because they were. They 281 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,479 Speaker 4: just were a lot polier than we are in the story. 282 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 4: But all of this to say, this article definitely talks 283 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,399 Speaker 4: and blames. Even the fact that she says to you 284 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 4: like we are rendering our body parts useless. 285 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 5: I'm infuriated that line. I was ready to throw hands. 286 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 5: I'm not gonna lie. 287 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 4: Because it's like, Wow, you have just demeaned us to 288 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 4: our universon whether or not we are of worth if 289 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 4: we have. 290 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 5: Not given birth. 291 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, how insulting. Find it very hilarious. 292 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: That's very depressing, slash very on point with a lot 293 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: of our rhetoric that it's like, why aren't we you 294 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: telling women what's making them miserable? It's being women and 295 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:55,359 Speaker 1: being loud of like, right, you should go back to 296 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,840 Speaker 1: faith and family and stop trying to get your equal 297 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 1: rights because it's just depressing you. 298 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 3: All right. 299 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 4: And by the way, if you're wondering why I hesitated 300 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 4: and did a cough at the mention of a crisis 301 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 4: pregnancy center, we do have an amazing, amazing episode which 302 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 4: we talked to a scholar who researched and went traveling 303 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 4: to go and find out about these crisis pregnancy centers 304 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 4: and how they are harmful to women's seeking treatment, which 305 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 4: is also why she doesn't say what they do. 306 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 5: I found that interesting in the article. 307 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: Yes, also worth pointing out this is pretty recent twenty 308 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: twenty one. We recently did our episode of the pandemic 309 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 1: health Effects. 310 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 3: So also, that's. 311 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 6: It, like everyone's feeling a little more depressed than your 312 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,200 Speaker 6: suol right now, unless you're a billionaire and you're making 313 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 6: more money than ever. But I mean, she hadn't even 314 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 6: mentioned like, oh, you know, it's a worldwide paddam all right. 315 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 4: And I find it interesting that she absolutely only pointed 316 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 4: out that statistic. Because it was only pointed out, I think, 317 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 4: like that was one of the numbers for liberal white 318 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 4: women under fifty. She gave no cares about women of color. 319 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 4: M M. 320 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, that is a very specific, very specific subset focused 321 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,280 Speaker 1: in on. 322 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,160 Speaker 5: And here's the thing. 323 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 4: I know this may be hating on the article because 324 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 4: I hate the article, but this is also the rhetoric 325 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 4: that I heard growing up as well. All of this 326 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 4: is what was fed to me, and it's fed to 327 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 4: a lot of women saying this is why you shouldn't 328 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 4: be feminist. This is why feminism is a bad word. 329 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, that whole like angry feminist. This is that like 330 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: you're not gonna be happy, You're gonna be angry feminist. 331 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 3: That's the thing. 332 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 1: Is Like, I really hate that characterization. But again, going 333 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: back to what I said earlier, it's kind of true 334 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: because once you were like, oh, injustice is everywhere, it's 335 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,400 Speaker 1: right to be mad, right. 336 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,959 Speaker 4: Also, I do love that she also puts in a 337 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,959 Speaker 4: mask as something of contention, and I'm pretty sure she's 338 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,120 Speaker 4: talking about literal masks here, y'all if that doesn't tell 339 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 4: you something. But I think it's quite funny that she 340 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 4: says heavy doses of gender exploration and safe sex practices 341 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,119 Speaker 4: and heaps of contraceptives are all part of the welcome 342 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 4: at most US college campuses, as. 343 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 5: If that's a bad thing. Yeah, safe sex practices is 344 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 5: a bad thing. 345 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 4: M h. 346 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 3: Absolutely shameful. 347 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: But going back to what you said is that I 348 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,880 Speaker 1: also heard that. I mean, it's a running joke with 349 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,479 Speaker 1: me and one of my parents, no not parents, one 350 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 1: of my best friend's parents. 351 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 3: Very very conservative, and they kind of joke with. 352 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: Me all the time because they know I'm liberal, and 353 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,159 Speaker 1: they'll be like, you went after your your college and 354 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: you got your liberal education. Now, like it's a joke, 355 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 1: but it's true. They use this argument all the time, right. 356 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 4: And that's kind of like I joke about my niece 357 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 4: who has come to Atlanta and has grown into herself, 358 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 4: and I purposely, I'm sad that I did this because 359 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 4: I missed out on some things that I feel like 360 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 4: I could have helped her. But I purposely stayed away 361 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 4: from her because I did not want to be that 362 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 4: influence quote unquote. 363 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 5: And yeah, she learned it for herself. 364 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 4: I knew she would, as well as the fact that 365 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 4: she is very intelligent and empathetic, so she she could 366 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 4: not ignore some of these issues that we've talked about. 367 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 4: She went home, and that's one of the first things. Oh, 368 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 4: you went to Atlanta and now you're this And she 369 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,440 Speaker 4: had to give an excuse as to why she wanted 370 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 4: to remain in Atlanta instead of going back to the 371 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,640 Speaker 4: small hometown, because that means an absolute betrayal of You've 372 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 4: turned away from. 373 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 3: Us, right right, right, right? 374 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, but a lot of negative stuff is managed. 375 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: I guess you've got to give the author points as 376 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: much as I didn't want to manage to like accomplish 377 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: a lot because you're right, like the body parts is 378 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 1: saying something about like who is a woman and what 379 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 1: constitutous woman? Like all these messages of we should go 380 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 1: back to the traditional nineteen fifties housewife, it seems, and 381 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 1: then you'll be happier because you're more accurence. 382 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, and this is a little last fifty years. 383 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 4: So ever since second wave women as came in through 384 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 4: came in, it's been awful, Like we just wanted to vote, 385 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 4: that's it. 386 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,920 Speaker 5: Stop blaming the patriarchy. 387 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 4: But yeah, I thought this was interesting as one take 388 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,159 Speaker 4: on why we're unhappy. And again this is more of 389 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 4: a recent one. We know that's a whole conversation, but 390 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 4: we wanted to take a look at another thing about 391 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,400 Speaker 4: maybe this does make us happy. 392 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 5: And we've talked about this before. 393 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 3: Right, Adie, Yes we have. 394 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,640 Speaker 1: So this is an article from The Guardian from twenty 395 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: nineteen by She and Kan and I hope I'm pronouncing 396 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: the name correctly, but I remember when this came out 397 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: because it. 398 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 3: Cost a lot of waves, but it was about. 399 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 1: How single women might be like the happiest group of people. 400 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 1: All right, so here's some quotes. We may have suspected 401 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: it already, but now science backs it up. Unmarried and 402 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population, and 403 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,639 Speaker 1: they are more likely to live longer, and they are 404 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 1: more likely to live longer than they're married and child 405 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 1: rearing peers. According to a leading expert in happiness sounds 406 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: like a fun job. Speaking at the Hay Festival on Saturday, 407 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: Paul Deulin, professor of behavioral science at the London School 408 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 1: of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that the traditional 409 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: markers used to measure success did not correlate with happiness, 410 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,880 Speaker 1: particularly marriage and raising children. We do have some good 411 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,120 Speaker 1: longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I'm 412 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 1: going to do a massive disservice to that science and 413 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 1: just say, if you're a man, you should probably get married. 414 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 3: If you're a woman, don't bother. 415 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 4: I do. 416 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 3: Remember this goes on. 417 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: Men benefited from marriage because they calmed down. He said, 418 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 1: you take less risk, you earn more money at work, 419 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, 420 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: has to put up with that and dies sooner than 421 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: if she had never married. The healthiest and happiest population 422 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 1: subgroup are women who never married or had children, he said. 423 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: Other studies have measured some financial and health benefits in 424 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: being married for both men and women on average, which 425 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 1: Doolan said could be attributed to higher incomes and emotional 426 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 1: support allowing married people to take risk and seek medical help. However, 427 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: Dolan said men showed more health benefits from tying than 428 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: not as they took fewer risk. Women's health was mostly 429 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,199 Speaker 1: unaffected by marriage, with middle aged women even being at 430 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single counterparts. 431 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,400 Speaker 1: Despite the benefits of a single, childless lifestyle for women, 432 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 1: Dolan said that the existing narrative that marriage and children 433 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: were signs of success meant that the stigma could lead 434 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: some single women to feel unhappy. You see a single 435 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 1: woman of forty who's never had children, blessed. That's a shame, 436 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 1: isn't it. Maybe one day you'll meet the right guy 437 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 1: and that'll change. No, maybe she'll meet the wrong guy 438 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: and that'll change. Maybe she'll meet a guy who makes 439 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: her less happy and healthy and die sooner. 440 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,639 Speaker 4: So it's a little bit vastly different than the previous article. 441 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,959 Speaker 4: And yes, of course we've talked about this previously. Again, 442 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,159 Speaker 4: this does not mean that that is the way to 443 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 4: happiness for everyone. My mother, I think, truly, is one 444 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 4: of the happiest women, being a mother, loving her husband, 445 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 4: being the support for our husband, and literally being told 446 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 4: that as a Christian woman she's the backbone of the home, 447 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 4: and she is, and she loves that. 448 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 5: She loves that aspect of her life. 449 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,680 Speaker 4: So I would never want to take that away from her, 450 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 4: and the fact, even if we don't agree on anything else, 451 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 4: I know she has been happy. I know she feels 452 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 4: like she's missed out on some things, but that doesn't 453 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 4: mean she's not happy. 454 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,160 Speaker 5: So go ahead and put that caveat in there. 455 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 4: But I do love this conversation because we talked about 456 00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 4: it because this was pre pandemic about how much got 457 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,600 Speaker 4: after the fact for the women who did not have 458 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 4: supportive husbands and or supportive partners, and why that was 459 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 4: so detrimental. Again, while we've gotten another giant gap about 460 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 4: women raising up in jobs, most likely leaving the jobs altogether, 461 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 4: the higher number of resignations, all of those things because 462 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:26,200 Speaker 4: of the pandemic, and who the household life fell upon, which, 463 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 4: by the way, we are going to talk a little 464 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 4: more in part two. 465 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's an interesting contradiction to our juxtaposition maybe 466 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 1: both Yeah to the last article we read, because the 467 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 1: last article was essentially saying you're unhappy because you're single, 468 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,199 Speaker 1: you don't have family, you don't have faith, and this 469 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 1: one's like, actually, for women, it seems that they're happier 470 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,360 Speaker 1: without those things. And again, yeah, we're not saying that 471 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 1: those are bad having a marriage or having children and 472 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,640 Speaker 1: that people can't be happy with it. But I think 473 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 1: it goes back to a conversation we have a lot 474 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 1: that we kind of just had with that article. There 475 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: are just these inequalities that are baked into our society 476 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: and it's how we're raised. And so yeah, like I've 477 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: literally had fears and relationships because I knew I would 478 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,640 Speaker 1: become I would do the extra work, I would pick 479 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 1: up that slack, and then that recentment would grow and 480 00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: it would be kind of just me being raised that 481 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 1: way and the dude in this hetero normative sense being 482 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: raised that way, but knowing like it felt inevitable. 483 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 3: And we talk about. 484 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: Communication all the time, and I do think it's important, 485 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: but there are some things that are just hard to 486 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 1: communicate because you've been raised differently, Right, And I do. 487 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 1: I like the point of you know, because we've also 488 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,400 Speaker 1: talked about that sort of societal judgment of like because 489 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 1: look how sad she is, and that can impact how 490 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: you view yourself. But I feel like that is also changing. 491 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: It's becoming more maybe not normalized, but we see it 492 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,960 Speaker 1: more often, we talk about it more often of like, yeah, right, 493 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,080 Speaker 1: women are single and they're doing all right, they're doing 494 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: anything right. 495 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I do. 496 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 1: I like that point that because we like to paint 497 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,120 Speaker 1: these relationships and kind of the like nuclear family situation 498 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 1: in such a golden like this is your success, this 499 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 1: is the goal. 500 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 3: But yeah, you could meet their arm dude, could make 501 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 3: you more miserable. Right. 502 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 4: That was the other part to me was like if 503 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 4: I don't like them, so if they're worth the compromise, 504 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:31,720 Speaker 4: then great. 505 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 5: If not, I'm like, that's that conversation. 506 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 4: As in fact, I had this conversation over this weekend 507 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 4: when I was explaining that I was trying to buy 508 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 4: a house and they're like, oh, ye'all buying it together. 509 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 4: I was like, no, it's my house, Like I'm very adamant, 510 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 4: and like we are separate. We're together, but we're separate, 511 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 4: and I like that. For the longest time I thought 512 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 4: I needed a relationship, but then after I got financially 513 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 4: stable enough to take care of myself, as in, like, 514 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 4: I don't need a roommate, and like, then what's the 515 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 4: point And there's nothing in me that really wants to 516 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 4: be married. 517 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 5: As much as I love my partner, I'm good. I 518 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 5: like where we're at. But yeah, that's that. 519 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 4: Other part of this conversation is, yes, this is a 520 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 4: big generalization. He hummits that at the top is just 521 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 4: going to be a big generalization. 522 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 5: All people were pissed in this conversation, except for the 523 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 5: single women. They're like, oh, yeah, that's right, let them know. 524 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 5: But and it is. 525 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 4: It's a big generalization. We have to come back to conversation. 526 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 4: But if you want to be a single mother, then 527 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 4: that's fine too. Like the fact that that's the joy 528 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 4: that brings you, that's the delight that we see. But 529 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,080 Speaker 4: her worth, even though she may love being a mother, 530 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 4: should not be based on just being a mother. 531 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 3: Unless that's the. 532 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 4: Way they want to center it, then great, you do you, 533 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 4: but you can't force that on others either. 534 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 1: Right, And I think just to mention because we don't 535 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: have time to get into it right now, but I 536 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 1: do think another piece of this is we don't provide 537 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 1: support to mothers, and we also write, as you said, 538 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: as we've seen through the pandemic, we expect them to 539 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:02,160 Speaker 1: give up their financial livelihood in their jobs first, or 540 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: do it all at once, which means you get no 541 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: sleep and your health suffers and all this stuff. So 542 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 1: I think like, if maybe if we lived in a 543 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: society that valued women and women's work and raising children, 544 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 1: whether it's anybody whoever's raising children, it's work, if we 545 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 1: valued that, maybe these numbers in this narrative would be different. 546 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 3: But I it totally makes sense to. 547 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 1: Me that a pandemic hits, you're getting no support, you 548 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,200 Speaker 1: have no money, you have to take care of the kids, 549 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 1: Like of course you're that's going to affect your happiness. 550 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 4: Right, And just to go back, because you just reminded 551 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 4: me from that first article where she talks about women 552 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 4: expecting help from birth to death that this whole idea 553 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 4: that liberal depends on government and telling government like, oh, 554 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 4: you you really generalize that one, you're saying that we're 555 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 4: not of wourth unless we have children, put our bodies 556 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 4: to use, but at the same time that we are 557 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 4: not worth giving assist us too, are helping. 558 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 5: That's interesting, that's interesting that. 559 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 4: You give no solutions but tell us how to find 560 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 4: a way of being of value to society. 561 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: Right, yeah, And that's that also, that whole the perfect 562 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: mother and that kind of Disney disneyification of as a mother, 563 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 1: you can never feel depression or sadness or retired like 564 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 1: because you're a mother and it's the best thing ever, right, 565 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: which again, can. 566 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 3: Be very lovely, can be great, what can be very hard. 567 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 5: It is very hard. 568 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 4: And they should get their flowers, and they should get assistance, 569 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,239 Speaker 4: and they should get help at the very least for 570 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 4: the rest of their lives. Their bodies should be cared 571 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 4: for by the government, because you're saying that's what our 572 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 4: bodies are worth. 573 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 5: So which is it? 574 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, anyway, okay, y'all, that's a lot, I know. 575 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 5: But we have a part two, damn it, we do. 576 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: We do. We do have a part two. But in 577 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: the meantime, again, if you have any happy things for 578 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 1: as to talk about, clearly we need them. We would 579 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: love to hear them. You can email us at Stuff Media, 580 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 1: mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us 581 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: on Instagram at stuff I Never Told You or on 582 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always to our 583 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: super producer Christina, Thank you, and thanks to you for 584 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: listening Stuff Will Never Told You the protection from iHeartRadio. 585 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeart Radio app, 586 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.