Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, who's this.
Speaker 2: My name is Sierra. I'm from Maine.
Speaker 1: Sierra from Maine. What's going on?
Speaker 2: Not much? I'm chilling here watching you on Xbox.
Speaker 1: That's cool. Well, Sierra from Maine. What do you want
Speaker 1: to talk about today?
Speaker 2: As you saw, my mom's kind of known as the
Speaker 2: family whore.
Speaker 1: You're just gonna say that and then stop talking.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I've never so, yeah, I guess you
Speaker 2: could say my mom's the family whore. And I say
Speaker 2: that in the most polite way possible, if that is possible.
Speaker 2: She has slept with numerous members of my family. I
Speaker 2: have half brothers and half cousins.
Speaker 1: Due to this, Like she's in bread, like she's slept,
Speaker 1: like she's committed incest.
Speaker 2: No, it's not incest at all. Actually, she slept with
Speaker 2: my dad's uncle.
Speaker 1: Okay, is your dad's uncle, So she's uh so, so
Speaker 1: she's she slept. Yeah, she slept with your dad's uncle.
Speaker 1: Oh that's crazy. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. What's your relationship
Speaker 1: with her?
Speaker 2: Like it's been on and awful lot. Right now we're on.
Speaker 2: She is an addict. She's two completely different people. When
Speaker 2: she is in youth, are not in use?
Speaker 1: Mm hm. And how old are you see Erra from Maine?
Speaker 2: I am twenty two.
Speaker 1: Okay, and now uh uh used to you and your
Speaker 1: mom are on? Now what makes you guys?
Speaker 3: On?
Speaker 1: What? What was it the transition to the off to
Speaker 1: the on?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: She drunk called me after not talking to her for
Speaker 2: six months. Actually, she drunk called my fiance saying that
Speaker 2: she needs my support to help her get back to
Speaker 2: sobriety and that she has breast cancer. But she lied
Speaker 2: about the breast cancer. But I think she did that
Speaker 2: because she knew that I wasn't going to talk to
Speaker 2: her unless it was an urgent thing.
Speaker 1: And it says here that she tried to sleep with
Speaker 1: your fiance.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is originally why I stopped talking to her
Speaker 2: before she called me or called my fiance and tried
Speaker 2: to say she had breast cancer.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so what is it that made you decide
Speaker 1: you wanted to let her back into your life?
Speaker 2: I mean, like I said, they've always been kind of
Speaker 2: in and out of sobriety. And I think one of
Speaker 2: the biggest life lessons I've learned overall, being as young
Speaker 2: as I am, is to take the good when you can.
Speaker 2: And I got to say, when my parents are sober,
Speaker 2: they are amazing people and I really enjoy their company
Speaker 2: when they're cool.
Speaker 1: And how often are they cool these days?
Speaker 2: I'd say it's on a two year loop, maybe a one.
Speaker 3: To two year loop.
Speaker 1: Once to your loop meaning what is a loop is bad?
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 2: Like kind of like yeah, I'd say like every other
Speaker 2: year they're sober, and then every other year they're not sober,
Speaker 2: or maybe every two years they're not sober, and then
Speaker 2: maybe for one year, a happy year, they're sober.
Speaker 1: Are they sober now?
Speaker 2: Ah? No, they were for a little bit and then
Speaker 2: I think they thought they were hiding it from me.
Speaker 2: But they're not very sneaky people, and I know that
Speaker 2: they're drinking, and they've been a little more transparent with
Speaker 2: me lately, and I think they've kind of punt the
Speaker 2: fact that all I want from them is transparency, so
Speaker 2: that if they are going to use I just want
Speaker 2: them to be healthy and responsible people about it.
Speaker 1: And are you or are they still together even after
Speaker 1: all the uncle fucking.
Speaker 2: Surprisingly, Yes, my dad is the biggest simp in the world.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to title this episode my Mom's a
Speaker 1: whore and my dad is a simp.
Speaker 2: It's the most catchy title in the world.
Speaker 1: No, I'm probably not going to do that. Why is
Speaker 1: your dad a simp? Tell you more?
Speaker 2: Well, my dad he's just so incredibly in love with her.
Speaker 2: She is kind of out of league, look spied. Maybe
Speaker 2: not mentally, but he's it's just a short balled ginger
Speaker 2: dude with a lot of with a lot of baggage.
Speaker 2: And she's pretty.
Speaker 1: So well, that's cool that she's pretty. Who's who is
Speaker 1: is that your fiance who's ragging on your dad?
Speaker 3: Is?
Speaker 1: What is that your fiance in the background? I it
Speaker 1: sounds like you were not alone.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, this is my fiance.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me talk to him.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, what O get?
Speaker 1: Hey? Man, So your girlfriend's mom tried to have sex
Speaker 1: with you?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean she was drunk and like a girlfriend's
Speaker 4: like godfather told me, like, don't feel special because like
Speaker 4: everybody's been there.
Speaker 1: What did she say to you? Exactly?
Speaker 3: So she she called up.
Speaker 4: I guess they were at like a bar and they
Speaker 4: were ship days and they were like being like belligerent
Speaker 4: right and then and then so like her sister was
Speaker 4: calling us going there at a bar, they don't know
Speaker 4: what the fuck they are. And then she called and
Speaker 4: and and my fiancee was was being a little hysterical.
Speaker 4: So I was like, let me take the phone off.
Speaker 4: I'm more calm, I can handle it, right. So I
Speaker 4: took the phone. I'm like YO, like, no, I'm not
Speaker 4: a named is. I'm like, yo, like what's up? How
Speaker 4: you doing? And she goes, she goes, I'm doing a
Speaker 4: lot better now I'm talking to you. I was like,
Speaker 4: what do you whoa what do you mean? Then she
Speaker 4: was talking about having me like pick her up, and
Speaker 4: it was very like, uh, it was a vibe there
Speaker 4: for sure, and it was like on speakerphone. And then
Speaker 4: so I drunk, drove not good but.
Speaker 1: Sorry, finish your story.
Speaker 4: No, you're good, You're good. You're good, bro.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 4: So like I'm like shithouse and I'm like, She's like,
Speaker 4: you have to go pick up my sister. I don't
Speaker 4: like it being in that environment. So I'm like all right,
Speaker 4: So I went. It's like a forty minute drive. I
Speaker 4: went picked her up and I get there and try
Speaker 4: to talk to me and then she like she's like,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 1: Like wait, hold on, wait what your fiance is like, Hey,
Speaker 1: my sister's not safe? Can you drunk drive forty five
Speaker 1: minutes to pick her up and then drunk drive with
Speaker 1: her forty five minutes back?
Speaker 4: She was drunk too, but yeah, like exact, and that's that.
Speaker 3: Was my point.
Speaker 1: But I was like, I don't know if I don't
Speaker 1: know if I would call that a significantly safer situation.
Speaker 4: But continue, I'm a pretty good drunk driver, all right,
Speaker 4: get like, yeah, okay, I get it, but I'm good
Speaker 4: at it anyway, So I don't know, you get me.
Speaker 4: Like she gave me like the longest like crotch in
Speaker 4: like hugs that I've ever had in my life, or
Speaker 4: like the wettest smooch on the cheek, and it was
Speaker 4: just it was and it was in front of like
Speaker 4: her sister too, So this is all like well.
Speaker 3: Documented, you know, like.
Speaker 4: Like nothing in private.
Speaker 1: So I was like, fuck, okay, so what did you
Speaker 1: do after that? Did you drive your sister back home?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And her dad and the dad is just watching his
Speaker 1: wife like kind of touch up all over you.
Speaker 4: So thank god he was asleep. I guess he was
Speaker 4: so drunk, but he passed out on my drive out,
Speaker 4: on my long ass drive over because I was. I
Speaker 4: was talking to her on the phone and I was like, yo,
Speaker 4: am I gonna have to fight your dad right now.
Speaker 4: I'm kind of down for but I was like, I
Speaker 4: really don't know if I want to get into that
Speaker 4: right now, and she was like, you might, you might
Speaker 4: have to, and I'm like I kind of went in ready,
Speaker 4: but then I just got hit on by like.
Speaker 3: An old lady.
Speaker 4: So it's like bed and the alternative, I guess.
Speaker 1: All right, So what's your relationship like with them?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 4: I'm cool with them. It was a little locker with
Speaker 4: their mom, Like I really, I was kind of flattered
Speaker 4: by the whole thing, like realistically, but uh, but my
Speaker 4: fiance was was obviously upset, so the relationship was kind
Speaker 4: of rocky for a little.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your fiance not as flattered.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so now between me and her mom was exactly
Speaker 4: he didn't happen. Her dad like, I think he's used
Speaker 4: to it rough for him, but yeah, it couldn't be me.
Speaker 1: All right, let me talk to her again. All right, Hey, dude, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's up?
Speaker 2: You know? Talking to you listening to my fiance.
Speaker 1: So let's see, You're mom is a whore and your
Speaker 1: dad is a simp.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, they are.
Speaker 1: Why do you think they're like that?
Speaker 2: I think they got together at a very young age.
Speaker 2: I think they had a lot of baggage and a
Speaker 2: lot of a lot of things in common with their baggage.
Speaker 2: I think there was a lot of drugs and alcohol involved,
Speaker 2: and then I think they ended up having a kid
Speaker 2: n planned.
Speaker 4: Aka me.
Speaker 2: And he just rolled with it.
Speaker 1: M hmmm.
Speaker 2: I gotta say, despite all the ups and downs in
Speaker 2: their relationships, they are always the best of friends. Whether
Speaker 2: they are.
Speaker 1: Aren't together, well, that's wholesome.
Speaker 2: In a weird way.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: If I would fuck my friend's.
Speaker 2: Uncle, I definitely would not personally, and if I were
Speaker 2: my dad in that situation, I would leave her. I've
Speaker 2: told him multiple times, you you could probably do better,
Speaker 2: but it's your choice.
Speaker 1: How long are they been together for?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I'm not even sure. I think close to
Speaker 2: thirty years.
Speaker 1: Thirty years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's oh, well, at.
Speaker 1: This point, this is I mean, at this point it's
Speaker 1: an open relationship after thirty years.
Speaker 2: The thing is they they I think there's a lot
Speaker 2: of confusion in the relationship because I think it's so
Speaker 2: my parents. They originally they met together on a military base.
Speaker 2: My dad was supposed to be a wingman for one
Speaker 2: of his friends and then he got stranded at the
Speaker 2: bar with my mom, decided to hit on my mom
Speaker 2: and then they she finds owned him for nine months.
Speaker 2: He finally asked her out. He was switching basses, so
Speaker 2: he told her if she wanted to come with him,
Speaker 2: they had to get married. So they dated for like
Speaker 2: maybe five minutes and then got married.
Speaker 1: Wow. You would think that would implode after about two seconds,
Speaker 1: but it lasted well, I guess it kind of lasted
Speaker 1: thirty years.
Speaker 2: It definitely hasn't floded a handful of times.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. That's really crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I support it. I definitely don't. It's
Speaker 2: not my relationship.
Speaker 1: Not to and sorry I'm looking at the twitch chat,
Speaker 1: but some people in the twitch chat are saying that
Speaker 1: the dad low key kind of likes it, and I
Speaker 1: and look, I'm not here to you know, uh uh no.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: They used to be swingers actually, so it originally started
Speaker 2: off as a closed off relationship and that wasn't really
Speaker 2: working out, so they tried to do an open thing,
Speaker 2: but then it just kind of turned into a jealousy thing.
Speaker 2: So then they tried to do it together there, and
Speaker 2: then I guess it just got really awkward and really messy.
Speaker 2: I remember as a kid them having like swinger parties
Speaker 2: and telling all of us kids, go into our rooms and.
Speaker 1: Wait, they had the swing. They had the swinger parties
Speaker 1: while you were home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they just didn't go to bed. I just I
Speaker 2: thought they told us all that their friends were probably
Speaker 2: going to come over and get too drunk or too
Speaker 2: high to drive home, so they laid out air mattresses everywhere.
Speaker 2: And you know, being a kid, I believed that.
Speaker 1: I really hope that, uh, you know, I really hope
Speaker 1: there was never any further situation in your childhood where
Speaker 1: one of your friends stayed over and so you blew
Speaker 1: up the air mattress.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, there has been, and I've thought back on that
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 1: Oh God, all right, so you're back with your mom.
Speaker 1: You guys are cool now? Sort of kind of?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is that where we are?
Speaker 2: I think we're cool, but there's like this awkwardness in
Speaker 2: our relationship where it's almost like whenever we see each other,
Speaker 2: it's almost stand offish in a way, like we're just
Speaker 2: trying to impress each other. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: we enjoy each other's company.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: What now, what would she have to What are the
Speaker 1: conditions of her continuing to be in your good favor?
Speaker 2: I told her she has to go to therapy. I
Speaker 2: want her to go back to work. I just need
Speaker 2: a more consistency in our relationship. I told them that
Speaker 2: I would like to do piss tests on them if
Speaker 2: they want to see their granddaughter and any Yeah, any
Speaker 2: visitations with my daughter has to be supervised.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm, because I don't.
Speaker 2: Take Oh, I don't want to take that relationship away
Speaker 2: from my daughter of the grandparents.
Speaker 1: That's totally I respect all of those, all of the
Speaker 1: all of those criteria. I think those are all really
Speaker 1: great criteria, and I think that you're very giving to
Speaker 1: offer them to your mom, right.
Speaker 2: Because as as I am, I lived through a lot
Speaker 2: of weird ship and I've learned the best thing you
Speaker 2: can do is just take the good when it comes,
Speaker 2: and you know, be as forgiving as you can given
Speaker 2: the circumstances.
Speaker 1: No, I think that's I think that's totally big of you,
Speaker 1: because a lot of people, I think at the time
Speaker 1: when the if if if their mom tried to fuck
Speaker 1: their fiance and put them through a crazy, crazy childhood.
Speaker 1: They'd be out, you know. Yeah, So I think for
Speaker 1: you to be like, hey, you can still be in
Speaker 1: my life, but you got to piss into a cup
Speaker 1: for me, I think that's that's uh, not only reasonable,
Speaker 1: but that's that's very very big. So oh well, all right,
Speaker 1: I mean, how's how's it big? Has she kept up
Speaker 1: with any of this stuff?
Speaker 2: She still has not joined therapy or gone back to work,
Speaker 2: but she has to get uh she's like a nurse
Speaker 2: for yeah, she's a nurse and she has to get
Speaker 2: her license read like recertified or whatever. So she's going
Speaker 2: through that right now, and she's gonna go back to work.
Speaker 2: As for therapy, I don't know what's going on with that.
Speaker 2: She seems to have excuses up the ass, but I've
Speaker 2: been on her about it for a couple of months
Speaker 2: now she still hasn't done it. I'm about to lay
Speaker 2: some some lines in the sand, you know, some boundaries,
Speaker 2: mm hmm.
Speaker 1: And how about the the peeing in a cup.
Speaker 2: My mom's very open minded to it, and she's willing
Speaker 2: to do it. My dad, on the other hand, he
Speaker 2: gets very angry anytime I bring it up, and so
Speaker 2: he has not.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, well those are your fucking criteria. Man, He's
Speaker 1: gotta he's got to pee in that cup.
Speaker 2: I accepted as it is, yet to pay the cup.
Speaker 1: No jizzing in the cup, that's not the right.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 2: Also, when my mom called me about or well, called
Speaker 2: Ben and tried to hit on him. That same night,
Speaker 2: she also told him that she recently had an abortion
Speaker 2: with my cousin's husband. Jesus, Yeah, I told you, I
Speaker 2: told you, I told you. There's more.
Speaker 1: How much time you got? I mean, fuck, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't have anything else to do. Yeah, just well
Speaker 1: I really do. I really am Like, should I call
Speaker 1: this episode just you telling stories of here moham fucking
Speaker 1: all of your family members. That's pretty crazy man. Well, well,
Speaker 1: well good on you. I mean this is cool. Are
Speaker 1: you excited about having a child?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yes, I feel like I've always wanted to be
Speaker 2: a mom. I mean, I definitely didn't plan on having
Speaker 2: a kid this young. I actually got pregnant very unexpectedly
Speaker 2: on birth control at nineteen. None of us thought it coming.
Speaker 2: But when it happened, I couldn't bring myself to boord
Speaker 2: it I just I just felt the need to keeper.
Speaker 2: I felt like it was gonna set me straight and
Speaker 2: on this path of I don't know life and growing
Speaker 2: up and moving on from the situation I was in.
Speaker 3: And it did.
Speaker 1: So you got pregnant while you were on birth control?
Speaker 5: Yes, so definitely, yeah.
Speaker 1: Really, what are the chances of that?
Speaker 2: Very unlikely? They say one percent. Well, but I was
Speaker 2: on my doctor, I had an allergic reaction. We don't
Speaker 2: know what to My doctor put me on any biotics,
Speaker 2: and I guess apparently when you're on any biotics that
Speaker 2: cancels out your birth control. Nobody mentioned and.
Speaker 1: Is the guy I was talking to? Is that the
Speaker 1: father of the kid.
Speaker 2: Yes, we've been together for five years now.
Speaker 1: Well it worked out there, we go. See. You know,
Speaker 1: here's the thing I don't know, man, I have all
Speaker 1: these phone Any people who regular listen to the podcast
Speaker 1: know that for some reason, fucking nineteen eighteen twenty year
Speaker 1: olds having kids and getting married is like a big
Speaker 1: thing that people want to call in and talk about.
Speaker 1: And from my perspective, I'm always like, that sounds like
Speaker 1: a terrible idea. But I also follow it up with, look,
Speaker 1: what the fuck do I know about what makes anybody
Speaker 1: in the world happy, right, because I'm talking to you
Speaker 1: right now, and you seem to be doing pretty well
Speaker 1: and happy, so you know, good on you and keep
Speaker 1: living life. And I hope that your child never dies.
Speaker 2: Oh he too, very much.
Speaker 1: I hope he becomes I hope, and I hope at
Speaker 1: the age of one hundred. No, I hope your child
Speaker 1: lives into the age of two hundred and then becomes
Speaker 1: just a ball of blue light that reminates me too. Sure,
Speaker 1: that sounds painful.
Speaker 2: It is already a ball blue light. She's the light
Speaker 2: of our life.
Speaker 1: That's very nice. That's a nice That's a nice thing
Speaker 1: to say. But after after calling your mama whore? Is
Speaker 1: there anything else that you guys want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 2: Trust your instincts, and if your parents are pieces of ship,
Speaker 2: their pieces of ship. They take the good for the bad.
Speaker 2: TA take the good for the good and the bad
Speaker 2: for the love. We love you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, fuck the yellow line from Boston. We saw you.
Speaker 1: The yellow Wait, wait, the yellow line. What's the yellow line?
Speaker 1: Oh you are yes, I do remember that. Oh you
Speaker 1: guys went to my Boston show.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait, but you're all the way in Maine. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: were all the way in Maine.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you remember the guy with food tattoos at all?
Speaker 1: Probably not with food tattoos.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we pictures with you. You stopped him and told
Speaker 2: him that you loved all of his tattoos because he
Speaker 2: has arm sleeves that are food tattooed. Themes.
Speaker 1: Ah fuck, I'm sure I meant that, but I do
Speaker 1: not remember it.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, fair enough when when you're celebrity like you,
Speaker 2: are you coming back?
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Boston soon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, we're obsessed with you.
Speaker 1: Sweet awesome, Thank you guys.
Speaker 2: Don't bring the baby, we don't plan on it. We
Speaker 2: love her, but oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Maybe bring the mom Oh maybe no, I mean, well,
Speaker 1: bring her with.
Speaker 2: You on with her. My family's insanely open with each other,
Speaker 2: like to do a disgusting point.
Speaker 1: So well, I'm sure she would love to come up
Speaker 1: on sitation tell all of the family secrets, but that
Speaker 1: would be the length of the whole show. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys very much. I wish you both the happy life
Speaker 1: and universe, and I'll talk to you guys soon.
Speaker 2: We love you, We love you.
Speaker 1: Bye guys, get bless ye Hey folks, this is Lyle.
Speaker 1: I am very excited to announce that I am going
Speaker 1: back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy
Speaker 1: Gecko Live all across the country. If you've never been
Speaker 1: to one of my live shows before, they're basically like
Speaker 1: giant group Gecko therapy sessions where people from the audience
Speaker 1: come on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever
Speaker 1: they want, just like we do right here on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Plus I mix in a few stories and presentations and
Speaker 1: little tidbits from my own life. Tickets are available right
Speaker 1: now at Therapy geckotour dot com, or you can find
Speaker 1: the link in the episode description. I'm announcing many more
Speaker 1: cities in the second half of the year, but right
Speaker 1: now tickets are on sale. Four Phoenix, Arizona, Louisville, Kentucky,
Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Orlando, Florida, Tampa, Florida, Miami, Florida, Boston, Massachusetts, Denver, Colorado, Syracuse,
Speaker 1: New York, Albany, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: San Jose, California, San Francisco, California, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
Speaker 1: And you can get tickets for all of those cities
Speaker 1: at therapygeckotour dot com. If you didn't hear me say
Speaker 1: your city, you can still go to the link and
Speaker 1: hit the RSVP button to get notified for when I
Speaker 1: do come to your city in the second half of
Speaker 1: the year. This is my third tour so far, and
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be sick, so I hope
Speaker 1: to see you there. Thanks. Hello, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 1: Do you have a child? To hear a child in
Speaker 1: the backgrounds, I do have.
Speaker 3: A child, which is also you know, factors into the
Speaker 3: problem I'm having.
Speaker 1: Tell me about the problem you're.
Speaker 3: Having, so, you know, making my text, I robbed the
Speaker 3: dairy Queen ten years ago. I went to jail for
Speaker 3: a little bit for whatever. You know. Fast forward now
Speaker 3: you know I have a job, decent thing, but I
Speaker 3: need more money to you know, support my family. And
Speaker 3: I went to ask for a raise the other day.
Speaker 3: Lo and behold, they told me that I guess I'm
Speaker 3: not doing my job very good and they can't give
Speaker 3: me a raise, even though you know, in my mind
Speaker 3: I'm doing a great job. So it's very confused. But
Speaker 3: now I'm just, you know, I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: Do I look for a new job or do I
Speaker 3: just stick it out here because it's hard to find
Speaker 3: a job with a felony that pays decent.
Speaker 1: A little bit lost? And did the job deny you
Speaker 1: a raise because you robbed the dairy queen?
Speaker 3: No? No, they they knew about my felony when they
Speaker 3: hired me, and they said, you know that they give
Speaker 3: people second chances. But I've been the manager at the
Speaker 3: grocery store now for two and a half years, and
Speaker 3: I just feel like I deserve a raise. I'm doing
Speaker 3: a good job, but they don't want to give me one.
Speaker 3: I got my family to support, so I.
Speaker 1: Feel like there's definitely going to be I feel like
Speaker 1: there's definitely going to be a mission in Grand Theft
Speaker 1: Auto six where you rob a dairy queen, and then
Speaker 1: everyone's going to start thinking that that's cool and it'll
Speaker 1: probably be easier for you to get a job.
Speaker 3: Then that's true. I can see that.
Speaker 1: I before we get into a problem, I do have
Speaker 1: a couple questions. Well, how old are you? I'm twenty eight, Okay,
Speaker 1: oh so you're eighteen.
Speaker 3: Yeah I was. I was eighteen and when I did it,
Speaker 3: I was on probation for a battery charge. Okay, it
Speaker 3: just wasn't good.
Speaker 1: I really, I just have to ask, and I know
Speaker 1: that for a lot of things, and I have things
Speaker 1: like this in my life that I just can't explain
Speaker 1: why my brain was at a place at that time.
Speaker 1: Why a dairy queen, Because how much money There's got
Speaker 1: to be less than two thousand dollars in existing in
Speaker 1: total in any given dairy queen in the United States.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it all started when one of my friends
Speaker 3: he was gonna throw this party and he needed money.
Speaker 3: You know, we needed money for some you know, drugs
Speaker 3: and alcohol and everything to this party. And this other
Speaker 3: guy was like, hey, I used to work at the
Speaker 3: dairy queen and I know when they take you know,
Speaker 3: the money bags to the to the bank. So you know,
Speaker 3: we waited outside and then I don't know, probably around
Speaker 3: like eight o'clock and night. You know, the dude was
Speaker 3: walking to his car at the money bags and we
Speaker 3: jumped out and I ripped him out of his hand
Speaker 3: and started running. And you know, normally you would think
Speaker 3: someone would just it was a small town, you know,
Speaker 3: so you know, I would just normally think that someone
Speaker 3: would just call the cops, you know, and report what happened.
Speaker 3: But this fucker he followed us while you know, I'm
Speaker 3: a phone the cops. So we're running and he's following us,
Speaker 3: and we split up, but I ended up getting away.
Speaker 3: I never got to see how much money we got
Speaker 3: because I got arrested the next day, but it was
Speaker 3: I heard it was like less than five hundred. So
Speaker 3: it really was worth it out obviously not but even
Speaker 3: if we got away, it really wouldn't have been worth it.
Speaker 3: But it was all for, you know, for a party.
Speaker 3: That's pretty much.
Speaker 1: Why was there? Ah, how did you jump him? Was
Speaker 1: there like a weapon involved?
Speaker 3: No? So originally I was like, well, yeah, let's just
Speaker 3: knock this guy out, you know, but my friend was like, no, like,
Speaker 3: don't because he knew this guy that we were rather
Speaker 3: that worked there, and so he didn't want him to
Speaker 3: get hurt. So whatever, So we just kind of hopped out.
Speaker 3: I'm not even lying, this is this is crazy. So
Speaker 3: we hop out and there's you know, me and the
Speaker 3: guy I'm robbin with and the whatever the guy's name
Speaker 3: was that was working there. We like, we had mass
Speaker 3: on and stuff. But we're all looking at each other, right,
Speaker 3: and he looks at the guy I'm with and he says,
Speaker 3: he says his name, He's like David. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: what the fuck? What are we doing? I didn't know
Speaker 3: what was happening. We're just standing there. So then I
Speaker 3: just kind of ran up and just snatched him out
Speaker 3: of his hands, and then that's when we started running.
Speaker 3: So it's from the start it went terrible, but that
Speaker 3: was like, we're committed. We're already here. Can't just be like, oh,
Speaker 3: it was a prink so.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what's kind of cool is I feel
Speaker 1: you could actually if you wanted to, you could rewrite
Speaker 1: the story. When you know, like in the interviews, when
Speaker 1: they like will say like, hey, I noticed you had
Speaker 1: a felony here, what's up? You could say that you
Speaker 1: you just really wanted ice cream and you you rob
Speaker 1: them for big drums of mint chocolate chip. And that
Speaker 1: might be a little bit quirky.
Speaker 3: That's true. I had everyone texting me they were like,
Speaker 3: I could have just bought you a blizzard. So I
Speaker 3: definitely it wasn't my best frind.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I mean throughout your life, have you encountered
Speaker 1: any times where this felony has impeded you from doing anything?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, one hundred. I know one time me and
Speaker 3: my wife, like twoenty seventeen, I believe, we tried to
Speaker 3: move to Seattle from the Midwest, and I called shit,
Speaker 3: you not probably about sixty places to try to find
Speaker 3: an apartment, and every single one denied me because of
Speaker 3: my felony. When it comes to jobs. Oh yeah, they
Speaker 3: just see that felony and they're like, man, this guy's
Speaker 3: a piece of shit, even though it was ten years ago.
Speaker 3: But what can I do?
Speaker 1: Hm hmm. Well, and so that happens whenever they run
Speaker 1: your like your social Security and whatnot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let they do background checks. They just yeah.
Speaker 1: Now when you google, when you google around, when you
Speaker 1: google around, what do you what do you find on
Speaker 1: how you can uh get that expunged?
Speaker 3: So in Wisconsin you can only get it expunged if
Speaker 3: it's like pretty much requested at the time of your court.
Speaker 3: And I had a public defender and so he well
Speaker 3: he's terrible and I didn't know any of this stuff
Speaker 3: until afterwards. But and so that never happened. So the
Speaker 3: only way I can actually get an expunged now, is
Speaker 3: if I send like pardon paperwork to the governor and
Speaker 3: he decides he wants to expunge my feeling.
Speaker 1: The only way I have it, like the fucking governor
Speaker 1: of Wisconsin has to expunge this personally.
Speaker 3: Yep, that's the only way I can get it expunged.
Speaker 3: And I have the paperwork ninety nine percent completed. All
Speaker 3: I have to do is the job history. And it's
Speaker 3: been that way for about a year now, and I
Speaker 3: just for whatever reason, I just haven't done it. I
Speaker 3: don't know what.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, so is getting pardoned by the governor.
Speaker 1: Is that like is that a crazy like Simpson's thing
Speaker 1: or is that like a real thing you can do.
Speaker 3: No, that's the real thing. Yeah, I like got eligible
Speaker 3: for able to like request it like two years ago.
Speaker 3: It has to be like a certain amount of time
Speaker 3: go by since you've committed your feeling it.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So why don't you do it? What's
Speaker 1: stopping you from doing it?
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 3: I'm just nervous to get shot down again. I don't know,
Speaker 3: but I really probably should as I have a kid.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, I mean, what so you're just
Speaker 1: afraid that it'll get that your request will get shot down?
Speaker 3: H I don't know, it's something like that. Yeah, just
Speaker 3: that you know, I'm just always gonna be thought of as, oh,
Speaker 3: this guy's ship. But I don't know. I should do it.
Speaker 1: You should do it. I don't see why. I don't
Speaker 1: see why you wouldn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got nothing to lose, really, except I don't
Speaker 3: I don't know how it works, like if I get denied,
Speaker 3: if I have to wait then a certain amount of
Speaker 3: time to try again. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: Do I think maybe you've got to go get some
Speaker 1: You gotta get the you gotta get some dirt on
Speaker 1: the governor of Wisconsin. You can you control f the
Speaker 1: Epstein flight list for his name, you find that you're
Speaker 1: getting that expunged immediately.
Speaker 3: That's that's that's true. That's true because I mean, he's
Speaker 3: kind of creepy when you look at him, but the governor.
Speaker 1: Of Content, Yeah, I mean you could probably you could
Speaker 1: probably stake out him doing some shady ship.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he looks like you definitely be on that
Speaker 3: flight list.
Speaker 1: Well, let me think, how old is your kid?
Speaker 3: Two. Okay, he's too. So you know, I feel like
Speaker 3: I have a good case here. You know, I haven't
Speaker 3: been in trouble in ten years. I got two year old,
Speaker 3: we got a wife, we got you know, a decent,
Speaker 3: tame job. You know, maybe the governor would be like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's enough.
Speaker 1: You've paid for every ice cream cone you've consumed in
Speaker 1: the past ten years, all abiding assists, and oh yeah, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I just do it. I don't know, I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not I'm not in your brain. I
Speaker 1: don't know what's holding you back. If it's a fear
Speaker 1: of rejection, but like you got a fucking kid and
Speaker 1: a wife and a whole Yeah, you know, what what
Speaker 1: do you? What do you? What do you? What do
Speaker 1: you got to lose from sending in this paperwork? You know,
Speaker 1: it's not like they they're not going to arrest you again.
Speaker 3: Not true, And man, I'm not gonna put.
Speaker 1: Your face up outside of every dairy queen in Wisconsin.
Speaker 3: So funny enough that dairy queen it got it shut
Speaker 3: down about two months after he robbed it, and they
Speaker 3: got torn down.
Speaker 1: Damn scared off. I did scare you scared dairy queen
Speaker 1: out of town. That's pretty fun, you know.
Speaker 3: But dude, yeah, I got so much ship for it
Speaker 3: in jail by the other inmates.
Speaker 1: How long were you? What kind of ship did you
Speaker 1: get for it?
Speaker 3: So so originally it was I got charged with strong
Speaker 3: arm robbery. They got dropped down to a theft from
Speaker 3: a person or a corpse. I don't know why they
Speaker 3: have to have corpse on there, sound like he was dead,
Speaker 3: but whatever. So they gave me. They gave me eight
Speaker 3: months in jail and then two and a half years provision,
Speaker 3: and they, I mean they just kind of you know,
Speaker 3: it's called me them ship like you know, like the
Speaker 3: DQ bandit and just gave me other crap about ice
Speaker 3: cream stuff. But you know it saw a lot of
Speaker 3: interesting things in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like what.
Speaker 3: So, I don't know if you've ever seen, Oh man,
Speaker 3: that guy listening to about six foot five and there
Speaker 3: was probably about a five foot six guy, and he
Speaker 3: tried to fight him, and it was pretty funny. He
Speaker 3: jumped up as high as he could and he swung
Speaker 3: and it still only hit this guy in the chest.
Speaker 3: And it was just like one of the funniest things
Speaker 3: I've ever seen. But now I saw a couple of
Speaker 3: fights in there. They're pretty interesting. The guards never ran
Speaker 3: in to stop it. I think they were probably betting
Speaker 3: on who would win if I had to guess, of.
Speaker 1: All the ice cream related nick names that you received,
Speaker 1: do you remember any where you were like, all right,
Speaker 1: that's pretty good.
Speaker 3: No, not really. I mean, I'll be honest, in my memory
Speaker 3: kind of kind of sucked, but just really just the
Speaker 3: gky vand it is what they'd call me m.
Speaker 1: And so you were in there for eight months? Did
Speaker 1: you go crazy at all? I mean eight months is
Speaker 1: fairly long.
Speaker 3: No. So the first two months I was on the
Speaker 3: jail side waiting like and see what happened to me?
Speaker 3: And every even me was like, oh yeah, you're going
Speaker 3: to prison. You're you're on probation for a battery charge
Speaker 3: and you just committed selling. You're going to prison. Oh.
Speaker 3: I was like, well shit, I'm going to prison. I
Speaker 3: was just trying to like prepare myself. And then when
Speaker 3: the time came, they just got that sentence and then
Speaker 3: they moved me over to the Hubre side for six months.
Speaker 3: And you know the south on the Hubre side, there's
Speaker 3: like totally there canna be like eight people in there
Speaker 3: and I had six people in there with me, and
Speaker 3: I got out for work release, so it was kind
Speaker 3: of fun. I worked at a casino. I ended up
Speaker 3: getting fired from that because I, uh yeah, in the kitchen.
Speaker 3: I got fired from that because I was other inmates
Speaker 3: worked at the casino. I was sneaking them sandwiches for
Speaker 3: free and they found out, so I got fired.
Speaker 1: All right, that's not that bad. As long as you
Speaker 1: weren't sneaking them ice cream cones, then you definitely then
Speaker 1: you would be like, all right, I'm the fucking ice
Speaker 1: cream bandit.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. And I know one time they wanted me
Speaker 3: to sneak some chewing tobacco back and I wasn't gonna
Speaker 3: do it, so they had to have someone I'm not
Speaker 3: sticking anything up there, you know, so they had they
Speaker 3: had this other guy in there bring it back. And
Speaker 3: I got to say, was one of the funniest things. Man.
Speaker 3: We're sitting in that room and the dude comes back
Speaker 3: and he goes into the bathroom. He's in there for
Speaker 3: a while. He comes back and he's freaking out. I
Speaker 3: do he won't come out, he won't come out as stuck.
Speaker 3: What do I do? What do I do, and we're
Speaker 3: all just laughing and we're like, dude, you gotta get
Speaker 3: it out. He's like a pencil, I don't know, stick
Speaker 3: up there, fish it up and he almost started crying.
Speaker 3: He's like, well what if it breaks and it all
Speaker 3: absorbs at my ass? He's like, I'm gonna die And
Speaker 3: it was. It was hilarious. He was he was streaking
Speaker 3: out so bad.
Speaker 1: Just can you die from a plastic fork in your asshole?
Speaker 3: Well? Well, he had like two tins up his ass.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 1: Tobacco. Yes, and this guy's got a giant asshole. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, how big were these tins?
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't choose, so I don't know how
Speaker 3: much you know tobacco is and it's in, but yeah,
Speaker 3: you had two tins up there.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: So frobe Nott the first time.
Speaker 1: Doing that, that'll give you quite the nicotine buzz. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Well what's your name again? Man?
Speaker 3: Craig?
Speaker 1: Craig Craig. So you have a kid now, Yeah, that's cool,
Speaker 1: you got you know, I hope, I truly man, I
Speaker 1: wish that you fill out the form because I know
Speaker 1: it's easy to you know, be pessimistic and go ah,
Speaker 1: this is never going to work. Why even try? But
Speaker 1: I mean, if the forum's ninety nine percent filled out,
Speaker 1: you might as well.
Speaker 3: All right, And like at first it was like, you know,
Speaker 3: there's dumbness. Sounds is kind of cool having a phone,
Speaker 3: you know, a felle my. And you know, my wife
Speaker 3: said that when she, like we met each other at work,
Speaker 3: and I was like a fry cook. And she said
Speaker 3: when she heard that I was a fella, made her
Speaker 3: pussy wet.
Speaker 1: So well, there we go. It counted for something, it did, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, and hey, if you're lucky, maybe it will
Speaker 1: make the governor of Wisconsin's pussy wet too, Craig, is
Speaker 1: there anything else you want to say to the people
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: No, man, I appreciate everything, all the advice. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go fill that format. I'm gonna do it good.
Speaker 1: Please do let me know how it goes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well many good night.
Speaker 1: Take care. Maybe I should put uh, maybe I should
Speaker 1: put that on my dating app profiles that I'm a
Speaker 1: convicted fell and maybe that'll that'll up some of the matches.
Speaker 5: Hello, hi there, Hey, this is the therapy dot go thing.
Speaker 1: Yes? Is this Sydney? Yes, Cindy what's going on, Sidney?
Speaker 1: What do you want to talk about?
Speaker 5: Well, I have a lot of anxiety over this like
Speaker 5: plastic surgery thing I scheduled, and it's been really hard
Speaker 5: to find a job, and I are already rescheduled at
Speaker 5: once and it will key can't afford it, but I
Speaker 5: think I'm just gonna do it.
Speaker 3: Anyways.
Speaker 1: You texted me and you said, I have a plastic
Speaker 1: surgery appointment in two weeks and I can't afford it,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna have to do it anyway. And I'm
Speaker 1: freaking out. Lol, I'm ready to go into debt to
Speaker 1: feel sexy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you what the surgery is?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a It's an eelid surgery of a condition
Speaker 5: called toasis, where one eyelid is droopier than the other.
Speaker 5: It's not that noticeable, but less I take a picture
Speaker 5: or something or even my id, you can see one
Speaker 5: eye is lower than the other eye and you have
Speaker 5: to fix both eyelids to make it even. And it's
Speaker 5: like an insecurity that I have.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you how much the surgery is?
Speaker 5: Five thousand dollars?
Speaker 1: Okay? And do you have literally zero money right now?
Speaker 5: Pretty much? Yeah, I love a for my mom, so
Speaker 5: I don't have to worry about rent or like that.
Speaker 5: But uh, I'm not out of a job for a while.
Speaker 5: But I do have six thousand dollars in credit.
Speaker 1: Six in credit. Okay, Now, why do you feel like
Speaker 1: you want to, as you say, go into debt to
Speaker 1: feel sexy?
Speaker 5: Just because I've always wanted to get the surgery done
Speaker 5: and I found like a good plastic surgeon in Chicago,
Speaker 5: and I just thought, if I don't do it now,
Speaker 5: I'm just never going to get it done. If I
Speaker 5: just cancel it straight up, I'm just never going to
Speaker 5: get it done.
Speaker 1: I feel like, what makes you think that?
Speaker 5: Because I don't know. I just I feel like it's
Speaker 5: a nowur never situation. It's probably not, but like that's
Speaker 5: just how my brain makes it feel.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm just gonna end up just going
Speaker 5: through with it anyway and then just work really hard
Speaker 5: at like job that didn't want to take, and then
Speaker 5: just pay it off over time.
Speaker 1: It sounding and it's sounding to be like this is
Speaker 1: the wrong time to do it, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: you said now or neever you're you were, you were
Speaker 1: clinging to the idea that you have to do it
Speaker 1: now when you are in just a terrible position for it.
Speaker 1: And I just don't know why you are clinging to
Speaker 1: that idea.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I'm not really known for making good decisions like that,
Speaker 5: but I don't know. I just it's just like a
Speaker 5: self conscious thing, like no one else really cares about it,
Speaker 5: like except for me, Like it's just a me thing.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Uh did you put a deposit down already?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I did.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I mean, so you're doing the surgery.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I technically have to pay what is it for? Well,
Speaker 5: a lesson for. I forgot how much I put down,
Speaker 5: but it is lesson for. But it is still pretty
Speaker 5: high up here.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well all right, So I mean so, I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: there's nothing at this point I'm going to say to
Speaker 1: you that will influence uh the outcome, because you have
Speaker 1: already put down a deposit on this surgery. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so are we are?
Speaker 3: We are?
Speaker 1: We just deciding if we've made the right decision so
Speaker 1: we can analyze our decisions better in the future.
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Okay, walk me through how you are feeling.
Speaker 5: I'm feeling dumb, feeling nervous uh thoughts of anxiety.
Speaker 1: About what uh having to work the jobs paying off
Speaker 1: the debt.
Speaker 5: Yeah, about like me having to go through like probably
Speaker 5: working two jobs.
Speaker 1: Is there any way you can get this deposit back?
Speaker 1: Or is that because I guess the point of the deposit.
Speaker 5: Nah, I'm gonna have to lose it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, how old are you?
Speaker 5: Twenty five?
Speaker 1: Okay? I mean, look, everybody has at least one very
Speaker 1: questionable financial decision to talk about in their lives.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I talked about this before, but
Speaker 1: I once, uh, I once met a guy at a
Speaker 1: hostel who told me that he would get me started
Speaker 1: in real estate if I gave him fifteen hundred dollars
Speaker 1: in cash. And I did because and he left the hostel,
Speaker 1: but his shoes were still there, Like he left his
Speaker 1: shoes in the room. So I was like, well, he's
Speaker 1: probably I mean, there's no way he just took my
Speaker 1: money and left. He's got to come back for these shoes.
Speaker 1: And he did not come back for the shoes. So
Speaker 1: I mean, look, everyone has at least one dumb money story.
Speaker 1: But I mean, look, you'll work off the debt, You'll
Speaker 1: get yourself back to zero and things will be okay.
Speaker 1: You know you're not. You don't have kids to feed,
Speaker 1: you don't have you have college debt? Do you have
Speaker 1: any other debt?
Speaker 5: Actually do have, but I haven't paid it at all
Speaker 5: and nothing's bad happened yet, and my credit score is
Speaker 5: still Southern fifty.
Speaker 1: So I really do feel like this is like the
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey Show sometimes. Okay, well, where are you gonna work?
Speaker 1: These two jobs?
Speaker 5: I didn't want to go back to fast food just because, uh,
Speaker 5: I have a I have autism, so it makes I
Speaker 5: can force myself to work like jobs that are overstimulating,
Speaker 5: but like it just really sucks and it's bad for
Speaker 5: my mental health. I'm just gonna have to force myself
Speaker 5: to go back to fast food.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: What about back to the warehouse? It did work warehouse jobs.
Speaker 1: Couldn't could you day trade bitcoin? What? What are some
Speaker 1: jobs you could do?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Could you you ever? Do you ever flip mugs on eBay?
Speaker 1: There's all sorts of things you can do for money.
Speaker 5: I do some of my collections, maybe some some of
Speaker 5: my uh some stuff that like overcrime my room. I
Speaker 5: have like a big Hello Kitty collection and other anime
Speaker 5: stuff I do resell every once in a while.
Speaker 1: Rustin Dy, I hope you enjoy your new eyelid. That's
Speaker 1: that's that's what I want. That's what I want. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing. If you're gonna pay five thousand dollars for
Speaker 1: an eyelid, don't feel like you did it already, right,
Speaker 1: So I mean, look, if don't feel dumb and stupid
Speaker 1: about it, because then it's like, well, you paid five
Speaker 1: thousand dollars for the eyelid. Fucking enjoy the eyelid that
Speaker 1: you paid for because you're the feeling dumb and stupid
Speaker 1: about it? Is it is like, is the dumb option
Speaker 1: right because you've already paid the money. Just enjoy your
Speaker 1: eyeland I mean, I mean, if I were look, listen,
Speaker 1: if I were you, and I get it. Everybody has has,
Speaker 1: you know, self consciousness is and insecurities that that that
Speaker 1: feel nice to fix. But you know, if I were you,
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't do something like this again in the future.
Speaker 1: But enjoy your fucking eyelids, you know, don't don't feel
Speaker 1: bad about it. You got the eyelids, get them, walk
Speaker 1: walk out of that operating table happy at day. You
Speaker 1: got your new eyelids. Congratulationss Cindy. Is there anything else
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer
Speaker 1: before we go?
Speaker 5: Definitely be smarter about your money choices, and don't be
Speaker 5: like me. That's all I gotta say.
Speaker 1: All right, you take care of Cindy, all.
Speaker 5: Right, thank you, love you.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 1: I once bought a year of brassers for like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, one hundred plus something dollars, and then I
Speaker 1: found out there's all this porn on the internet for free.
Speaker 1: Imagine how dumb I felt?
Speaker 6: Jack, Hello, Hey, what's going on?
Speaker 1: Not much? Man? How are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good?
Speaker 6: How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good too. You sound crazy on the some a lot.
Speaker 1: Most people sound far away, you sound too close.
Speaker 3: Shot.
Speaker 1: Back up, yeah, back up a little bit. What do
Speaker 1: are you?
Speaker 5: What are you?
Speaker 6: What are you on a cell phone? Like I would
Speaker 6: imagine most people.
Speaker 1: All right, yeah, Matt, what's going on? How's life?
Speaker 6: Life's doing good? I got my dog right here watching
Speaker 6: some therapy, gocko, enjoying a day off.
Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful? Would you want to talk about today, Matt?
Speaker 6: H Well, it's kind of a crazy story. So I
Speaker 6: wanted to talk about your show in Chicago and what
Speaker 6: was going on while I was there. So basically, long
Speaker 6: story short is, I got on antidepressants just before your
Speaker 6: show and kind of went a little manic for a while.
Speaker 6: I was dating this girl at the time, and I
Speaker 6: ended up cheating on her, I think right before your show,
Speaker 6: and the show went so good that we actually I
Speaker 6: couldn't do it, like I had to like stay together
Speaker 6: with her. I was going to break up with her.
Speaker 6: We ended up staying together for like another month.
Speaker 1: Okay, you wait, you cheat on your girlfriend and then
Speaker 1: my show was so good that it made you stay
Speaker 1: with her.
Speaker 6: We had such a fantastic date. We were discussing breaking
Speaker 6: up all throughout like the past couple of weeks. You know,
Speaker 6: it was really hard couple weeks.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 6: Then we decided to, like, okay, one more date. We
Speaker 6: already had these tickets, or I already had the tickets,
Speaker 6: so I said, you know, come with me and we'll
Speaker 6: see how it goes and then we'll decide afterwards. It
Speaker 6: was such a good date. We got some ramen right
Speaker 6: across the street, and I think you were at Lincoln
Speaker 6: Loune right, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait, does she know that you cheated on her?
Speaker 6: I was gonna break up with her the day of
Speaker 6: or the day after or whatever. But the antidepressants just
Speaker 6: really fucked with me. And either it was you had
Speaker 6: a really good show and I wanted to like stay together.
Speaker 1: Or does she? Does she know that you cheat?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, so this was your show was about April or something.
Speaker 6: And then why I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you keep needing my show to
Speaker 1: answer this question.
Speaker 6: It was such a good show, Matt.
Speaker 1: Does she know that you cheated on her?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, so we've broken up. I came clean and uh,
Speaker 6: I told her everything, trying to start new, and obviously
Speaker 6: that didn't go well. So I'm sitting here single with
Speaker 6: my dog.
Speaker 1: Wait, I guess you guys aren't together.
Speaker 6: No, no, she's my X now.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm let me try to understand this. You cheat
Speaker 1: on her, yeah, and then you guys go to my
Speaker 1: show yep, and then you tell her that you cheated
Speaker 1: on her.
Speaker 6: Like two weeks later, we took a little bit of
Speaker 6: a break, like after the show. We decided like, okay,
Speaker 6: let's take some break, like some time apart. When we
Speaker 6: were supposed to meet up the day after the break ended,
Speaker 6: I decided.
Speaker 1: To tell her and come Quan, and that was like
Speaker 1: a month after it happened.
Speaker 6: Probably like two three weeks.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't, I don't. I guess I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, thanks for the kind words about the show,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if it has anything at all
Speaker 1: to do with your relationship. Unfortunately, I thought this was
Speaker 1: gonna be a story of thought. I thought I was
Speaker 1: going to start having to advertise my show as, Hey,
Speaker 1: if you cheated on your girlfriend, just buy her tickets
Speaker 1: to Therapy Gecko and she'll forgive you. But that does
Speaker 1: not see. It was like, it is what happened.
Speaker 6: Our relationship was teetering, and you know, I shouldn't have
Speaker 6: done what I did, and then the show is just
Speaker 6: so good that we I decided to like give it
Speaker 6: a chance. But I think the main story was I
Speaker 6: don't know if you have anybody here, like on antidepressants
Speaker 6: or anything, but I want crazy. For like two three weeks,
Speaker 6: I was really up there. I think they call it
Speaker 6: like a manick state, and I was just absolutely wired
Speaker 6: for two weeks.
Speaker 1: What what are you doing now?
Speaker 6: What am I doing now? I got off the pills,
Speaker 6: working on myself outside of the pills, going to therapy
Speaker 6: not just got but you know, human therapy and yeah,
Speaker 6: just trying to do it naturally.
Speaker 1: But that's good.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the antidepressants. For about two weeks, I didn't sleep
Speaker 6: maybe a couple hours. I was barely eating. It was
Speaker 6: absolutely crazy. And that's when that all happened. So I
Speaker 6: kind of convinced myself for a while that it happened
Speaker 6: in that manicked state because of the pills. But after
Speaker 6: all this time, after you know, eight months, whatever it's been,
Speaker 6: I've kind of admitted now you just you did it.
Speaker 1: Was it taking you a long time to admit that
Speaker 1: you cheated on your girlfriend?
Speaker 6: It has taken me a long time to like seek
Speaker 6: forgiveness for myself. So we haven't talked since I told her.
Speaker 6: And that's like the really hard part is if she
Speaker 6: would have forgiven me, I would have been able to
Speaker 6: forgive myself. But when it's just me, uh, you know,
Speaker 6: it's it's a lot harder to forgive yourself when there's
Speaker 6: no I guess, outside source of forgiveness. I'm still not
Speaker 6: even one hundred percent there.
Speaker 1: M how long did you say it's been since you
Speaker 1: talked to her eight months or so? Well? Well, man,
Speaker 1: I don't know man I I I I'm look, I'm
Speaker 1: glad that you're taking pills. Well you're not. Are you
Speaker 1: taking pills?
Speaker 6: You're not. No, I'm not taking pills. This is a
Speaker 6: warning against the pills. So I actually got them off
Speaker 6: the ther rectile dysfunction website HYMNS.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, all right, don't I know taking pills. Don't
Speaker 1: take any pills that you get from a porn hubad
Speaker 1: I know?
Speaker 6: And I I was like, you know, maybe I'll just
Speaker 6: try and out before I actually go get diagnosed or whatever.
Speaker 6: And man, I was wired. And because I got them
Speaker 6: from HYMNS, I couldn't like talk to a doctor and
Speaker 6: say like, hey, I'm feeling this way.
Speaker 1: So Matt, you're telling me that you bought adderall off
Speaker 1: of porn hub. That was so good? It made you
Speaker 1: cheat on your girlfriend?
Speaker 6: Is it Adderall? I don't know what it was, but man,
Speaker 6: I was like everything made me happy for like two weeks,
Speaker 6: three weeks, whatever it was. I would describe it like
Speaker 6: being tickled, like everything may be happy, but it was
Speaker 6: also kind of torture.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm coming back to Chicago, and uh, I think,
Speaker 1: may I know, Yeah, if you have any other relationships
Speaker 1: that you need to mend.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: No, I'll be there, hopefully with somebody that I don't
Speaker 6: cheat on.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 1: Uh, I would like to be the first one to
Speaker 1: remind you that that is within your control.
Speaker 6: Yes, it is.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 6: Mat Uh, don't get antidepressants from boner websites.
Speaker 1: Take care man?
Speaker 3: All right, thank you.
Speaker 1: Maybe I should start my own line of gecko boner pills. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me think lizard irreptile irreptile enhancers, irreptile reptile erection enhancers,
Speaker 1: reptile erection enhancers. Yeah, let's go with that.
Speaker 3: Never goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 3: Everything goes to teaching you aloud in the interview Line's
Speaker 3: not ready.