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Speaker 1: Warning, the following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual
Speaker 1: assault that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners.
Speaker 1: Discretion is advised.
Speaker 3: There was like one main commander who was the general
Speaker 3: of the whole state. Call to the receptionist of the general.
Speaker 3: I said to you her, I have some information about
Speaker 3: the case. I need to speak with the commander. She said,
Speaker 3: when can you comment. I said I can in thirty minutes.
Speaker 3: She said, he will be waiting for you. Put the
Speaker 3: files into USB. I took the USB. I came into
Speaker 3: the main building and I walked through the security check.
Speaker 3: I came to the reception and there was a woman
Speaker 3: and she said, he's waiting for you. I walked in.
Speaker 3: I said hello, and he said sit down. I sat
Speaker 3: down in front of him and he was sitting looking
Speaker 3: at me and he said, it's a very unusual situation.
Speaker 4: What do you have?
Speaker 3: And I was scared because he was in the power
Speaker 3: just to throw me to jail and usually if you
Speaker 3: do something wrong while you're working and then you go
Speaker 3: to jail, somebody will eventually murder you. And I said,
Speaker 3: I've been working for this department and my commander he
Speaker 3: sent me to that mission to infiltrate criminal gang. And
Speaker 3: while I was working on that mission, I found out
Speaker 3: some information and my partner who've been working with me
Speaker 3: on this case just being killed. And he said, yes,
Speaker 3: I know, what do you have? And I said that
Speaker 3: I found out some documents which have the name of
Speaker 3: my commander and this photus which is stating that he
Speaker 3: has connection with the criminal gang. And I gave him
Speaker 3: these documents and he was looking at this like for
Speaker 3: a very long time, and then he.
Speaker 4: Put the us BBCH.
Speaker 3: I gave him to his computer and he was really
Speaker 3: studying it and he said to me, tell me everything
Speaker 3: you know from the beginning. Almost like an hour, I
Speaker 3: was just telling him the whole story from the beginning.
Speaker 3: And then he said, I heard about your father. I
Speaker 3: used to know who is here. And he said, such
Speaker 3: a pride that daughter of such a great officer sacrificed
Speaker 3: your life for the mission, for the work to serve
Speaker 3: the country. And he said, I thank you for your service,
Speaker 3: and since you've done your mission successfully, I want to
Speaker 3: send you to the promotion. I would recommend you to
Speaker 3: be sent abroad. For you, it would be better not
Speaker 3: to be here. It would be risky for your life.
Speaker 3: I said, like, what other position do you mean and
Speaker 3: he said this would be strictly FSB working abroad. And
Speaker 3: I said, no, I want my freedom. I cannot do
Speaker 3: this anymore. I don't want to work here anymore. And
Speaker 3: he said, well, it's impossible. You think that. After trainings
Speaker 3: and after all these investments into your education, do you
Speaker 3: think you just can say like, sorry, I'm tired and
Speaker 3: I just want to leave. Look at your dad, he
Speaker 3: served his country all his life. How can you just
Speaker 3: let him down so much? Said I don't want to
Speaker 3: let him down, but I just I can't.
Speaker 4: Do it anymore.
Speaker 3: And he said, well, you can take a break if
Speaker 3: you want to, but then a couple months when you
Speaker 3: will go right and you will rest and everything. I'll
Speaker 3: send you to a very good profession. You don't need
Speaker 3: to deal with criminals anymore. There will be much better targets.
Speaker 3: And when I was walking out from this building, I
Speaker 3: felt like I needed to get out so fast, so fast.
Speaker 3: I ran out of the stairs and had turned left,
Speaker 3: and I saw this big tree outside, and I remember
Speaker 3: I just stopped and I hugged the tree and I
Speaker 3: started to cry. I cried so much and so strong.
Speaker 3: I was scared, and I felt relief. I came home.
Speaker 3: I wanted to speak with Vladimir, and he texted me.
Speaker 3: He's like, i'll see you soon. I texted back, yes,
Speaker 3: I'll see you soon, looking forward, and I was preparing
Speaker 3: myself to explain him about what was happening all this
Speaker 3: time and the way I met him. He thought, if
Speaker 3: I will tell him everything, maybe it will change his mind,
Speaker 3: and maybe we can escape together to some other place
Speaker 3: without all this darkness and crime. I came downstairs and
Speaker 3: I saw the same car and the driver, which I
Speaker 3: know for so long. He came outside. He took my
Speaker 3: hand like that, he opened the door and he pushed
Speaker 3: me into the car. And that exactly moment, I understood
Speaker 3: that he knows, and I understood that I'm fucked.
Speaker 4: I saw.
Speaker 3: The three guys, which obviously I know and they know me,
Speaker 3: but at that time they were not smiling and they
Speaker 3: were not nice to me. They looked at me with
Speaker 3: very angry eyes, and they just pushed me in the
Speaker 3: middle of the seat. And then another guy he put
Speaker 3: the back, the back from where they used to put potatoes.
Speaker 3: And when he put this back on my head, I
Speaker 3: understood that that's it. I said, it's a mistake. Wait,
Speaker 3: I need to explain to you. And the same guy,
Speaker 3: who am I feeding my foot? Which I always cook
Speaker 3: for them? He said to me, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3: We were driving and I just could hear sometimes they
Speaker 3: would speak between each other quietly and like where is he? Okay,
Speaker 3: he's coming. And I didn't cry, and I was just
Speaker 3: staying silenced inside of my brain, and my head is
Speaker 3: just I need to speak with Latimmer. I need to
Speaker 3: speak with him. I need to speak with him. Eventually,
Speaker 3: they stopped the car and we arrived to somewhere. I
Speaker 3: could feel the fresh air and the smell of the trees,
Speaker 3: and I understood that we are in the forest. And
Speaker 3: the guy just pushed me out of the car. I
Speaker 3: fall on the floor and he just like took my
Speaker 3: hand and just started to drop me. And I felt
Speaker 3: that my neck, my shoulders are getting hurt by them
Speaker 3: the sticks of the trees. I felt that my skin
Speaker 3: was like scratched. The bag was still on my face.
Speaker 3: I heard another car stopped. It was bad because I
Speaker 3: heard that voice. The voice I was scared that time,
Speaker 3: fucking bitch, bring her to me. It was the voice
Speaker 3: of the of the best friend of Vladimir, who saved
Speaker 3: his life, who now was ready to kill me like
Speaker 3: his fucking hero, like he found a traitor and now
Speaker 3: with Mike killing he would become the hero of the
Speaker 3: fucking gang. I felt desprid in his voice. The guy
Speaker 3: who dragged me was just dropped my hand. I sat
Speaker 3: on my knees and I felt someone with his feast
Speaker 3: hurt my head so strong that all my body just
Speaker 3: fall so hard that the bag all out of my head.
Speaker 3: And I have also something really hot was going on
Speaker 3: my skin, on my face. And I opened my eyes,
Speaker 3: and when I opened my eyes, I saw these dirty
Speaker 3: black poods with the land and I started to look
Speaker 3: up and I saw this cold and sharp posture of
Speaker 3: this man who looked at me with this angry cold eyes.
Speaker 3: These eyes. When it's like this is your last moments
Speaker 3: of your life, then you just have to accept your
Speaker 3: your destiny, because he is the one who decides if
Speaker 3: he lets you to leave or would die.
Speaker 1: The following contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual assault
Speaker 1: that may be too intense or triggering to some listeners.
Speaker 1: Discretion is advised.
Speaker 3: And I looked around, and I saw that all of them,
Speaker 3: all these brothers, these guys who ate my meal which
Speaker 3: I cooked for them, who laughed at my jokes, who
Speaker 3: are telling me goodbye, sister, all of them now wanted
Speaker 3: to kill me at that right moment. And I only had,
Speaker 3: like one thought, they can dive without speaking with Vladimir
Speaker 3: to tell him the whole thing. I just wanted to
Speaker 3: speak with him, nothing else. And I looked at his
Speaker 3: friend and I said, please, please, I'm baking you, please
Speaker 3: let me speak with Vladimir.
Speaker 4: Please.
Speaker 3: And he did this like.
Speaker 4: The first time in his life.
Speaker 3: So he did this face, which is like the sarcastic smile,
Speaker 3: and he said, now, you whore, you want to speak
Speaker 3: with Vladimir, You think like I'll let you, And he
Speaker 3: nod his hand, and each of them they started to
Speaker 3: hit me, but they dirty big heavy boots to my belly,
Speaker 3: to my face, to my legs, each of them my brothers,
Speaker 3: as they were saying this before, your sister always will
Speaker 3: take care about you, right, Vladimir.
Speaker 4: She's always sister.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 4: They all were beating me, trying to kill me life.
Speaker 4: I was trying to hold my I was trying to
Speaker 4: hold my hands next to my face so they wouldn't
Speaker 4: they wouldn't hurt my brains, so I would pitches be
Speaker 4: able maybe to talk. And then he stopped them.
Speaker 2: M hm.
Speaker 5: He laid on me on the top and he said,
Speaker 5: what bitch, now you will dry my cock?
Speaker 4: You feel that you're such a fucking whore. I felt
Speaker 4: such a I felt his body laying on me stock.
Speaker 4: I couldn't even move.
Speaker 6: Mm hm.
Speaker 4: And he started to enter me with this painful and
Speaker 4: couldn't scream, and he laid on me so strong that
Speaker 4: his body that I couldn't even breathe. I just heard
Speaker 4: that all of them was standing around me. All of
Speaker 4: them was standing around me and just nothing and saying like, yeah,
Speaker 4: come on, just like give her harder. What bitch, do
Speaker 4: you like it? I need some time? It's okay, it's
Speaker 4: still still hard.
Speaker 3: The worst was that when you feel like I'm not
Speaker 3: doing this anymore, I'm not like I'm different, I changed,
Speaker 3: But yet nobody listens to you, and they don't care.
Speaker 3: It's just like you're the traitor and from them. They
Speaker 3: never led traitors to leave. It's like it's imporcible. It's like,
Speaker 3: you know, she's a mall, she's a male. They were
Speaker 3: like screaming, and when he was raping me, he said, oh,
Speaker 3: he said, I wanted to do it so badly. From
Speaker 3: the moment I saw you, I knew you fucking mall
Speaker 3: and knew that you some kind of like clever woman
Speaker 3: or some clever like shit. He said, like you cannot
Speaker 3: play me, and like that, you know, like he he said, like,
Speaker 3: finally I got you. Finally, finally he got me. He
Speaker 3: told me that this is the end. This is the
Speaker 3: last moment of your life. He had these breast knuckles
Speaker 3: in his fist, and when he told that, he punched
Speaker 3: me from the side so hard that I still have
Speaker 3: a scarf here. Then it just kind of crushed my
Speaker 3: bone as well, so I have a lock of the
Speaker 3: bone here too. I don't know how long was it
Speaker 3: like going on. At some point I fainted. I just couldn't.
Speaker 3: I couldn't handle it. But then I heard they were arguing,
Speaker 3: and I my mind came back to me and I
Speaker 3: just couldn't understand why I'm still I'm still alive. Vladimir's
Speaker 3: called my phone all this time. He was waiting for
Speaker 3: me as all this, he called, and he called, and
Speaker 3: obviously I didn't pick up the phone. I couldn't. First
Speaker 3: of all, he called to this guy, to his friend.
Speaker 3: I don't know exactly what was the conversation, but what
Speaker 3: I understood when they were arguing with each other where
Speaker 3: they would tell she is the mole, She's the mole.
Speaker 3: She has to be killed right now, like fuck that.
Speaker 3: She had just like, let's fucking finish her hair. And
Speaker 3: then another guy said, like, we can't just finish her hair.
Speaker 3: He's waiting, like he will be fucking killed all of
Speaker 3: us if you do it without his permission. He said
Speaker 3: to bring her to him, and they were hesitating and
Speaker 3: they were arguing, and the army friend then said, fuck it,
Speaker 3: let's just finish her in front of him if he
Speaker 3: wants it. And one of the guys came to me
Speaker 3: and he pushed me. So was all bleeding. I could
Speaker 3: even feel inside of my mouth my blood, my own blood,
Speaker 3: and my whole body was in pain. And I already
Speaker 3: used to be honest, like I just didn't want to leave.
Speaker 3: It was it was already so painful that I just
Speaker 3: didn't want I just wanted to be ended. I was
Speaker 3: so tired and so exhausted, and I just wanted to
Speaker 3: see Vladimir before I wanted to tell him.
Speaker 6: They pushed me into.
Speaker 3: The car like a like a just just a body
Speaker 3: like all like almost like just they threw me inside
Speaker 3: and I couldn't even cry or something, and I didn't
Speaker 3: speak all my body was shaking. And we arrived to
Speaker 3: his house. And when we arrived, they started to take
Speaker 3: me out from the car, and he already was standing
Speaker 3: outside and he said, with his sharp voice, bring her
Speaker 3: to me now. And I couldn't walk, so they just
Speaker 3: took me with my shoulders just like almost like walk
Speaker 3: me inside. And they brought me to that dining career
Speaker 3: where we used to have.
Speaker 4: Tinners.
Speaker 3: And I fall on the floor and they all came
Speaker 3: and they all started to scream, she's a fucking mole, like,
Speaker 3: let's fucking finish her right now.
Speaker 4: You were ready to finish her, why didn't you let us?
Speaker 4: Like what the fuck?
Speaker 3: And then his army friend he said, I have all
Speaker 3: the evidences. Our informer said, she's the agent. They blew
Speaker 3: up all the operations a couple of days ago. She
Speaker 3: was involve in every single information, every single operation we did.
Speaker 3: She's the one who made us lose many like kilosoft,
Speaker 3: drugs and money, and she's the reason of all of
Speaker 3: our problems. And Vladimir looked at my body and he said, out,
Speaker 3: everybody will like give her to us, just let us
Speaker 3: finish her. Then he said again out. I sat out,
Speaker 3: and his army friend said wait. Listened like we need
Speaker 3: to do all the this together. He said, I said out,
Speaker 3: and everybody laughed. It was just me and him in
Speaker 3: the room. It was just silence.
Speaker 4: For a while.
Speaker 3: He came to me closer, and he sat down on
Speaker 3: the floor and he looked at me, and he took
Speaker 3: my face and I felt his strong hands, and I
Speaker 3: started to.
Speaker 6: Cry with the tears of of everything from the first beginning,
Speaker 6: from the first day I event to the military academy,
Speaker 6: from the first day I took the oaths. He looked
Speaker 6: at me, then he asked me. He asked me only
Speaker 6: one question, only one, and the question was.
Speaker 4: Do you love me? And I cried.
Speaker 3: And I looked at him. I said, yes, I do,
Speaker 3: I do love you. Very much. He took my face
Speaker 3: closer and he hold me and he told me, tell
Speaker 3: me everything, tell me everything. From the beginning, I felt
Speaker 3: blood on my coming from my face into my eyes
Speaker 3: and my mouth. My whole body was in pain. And
Speaker 3: the first time in my life, I told the whole
Speaker 3: truth about myself, about what I knew, what I've been through,
Speaker 3: about my childhood, and how I ended up being an agent,
Speaker 3: how I manipulated him and planned everything and set him up.
Speaker 3: And while I was telling him everything I knew, I
Speaker 3: was crying. He was listening, he didn't say word, and
Speaker 3: I saw pain in his eyes. And by the time
Speaker 3: I finish my story, Vladimir told me his side everything
Speaker 3: he knew, and it fit together like a puzzle. We
Speaker 3: both came to understand together that my commander wanted Zadka.
Speaker 3: It's a black cash money, the primary money drug trafficking
Speaker 3: operations coming from Afghanistan. But Vladimir told me he was
Speaker 3: already paying the bribe for the different businesses he had
Speaker 3: to the general I met with. So my own commander
Speaker 3: sent me to this mission to basically just get rid
Speaker 3: of Vladimir. And when I was revealed to be a
Speaker 3: mall the gang would turn against Vladimir for causing them
Speaker 3: all these problems and chose a new leader. That was
Speaker 3: his goal, because he wanted to install in the gang
Speaker 3: somebody who will be loyal to him, who would pay
Speaker 3: him the kickback from the drug business for the long term.
Speaker 3: And it was the army friend. And when Vladimir realized
Speaker 3: that his own friend, whom he trusted all his life,
Speaker 3: betrayed him, it almost killed him. I told him, we
Speaker 3: still have time, we still have a chance. Let's move away.
Speaker 3: I told him that the general with whom I spoken
Speaker 3: just before that, I said, like he told me, I
Speaker 3: have to leave. He said, yes, totally agree with him.
Speaker 3: You have to leave. He gave me the number of
Speaker 3: one person in Moscow who supposed to hide me and
Speaker 3: just help me out in the beginning, who like some time.
Speaker 3: He said, you stay quiet for a little bit, don't
Speaker 3: go anywhere, and don't do anything. I will give you
Speaker 3: some telephone numbers of people I know in Turkey, in Greece,
Speaker 3: in Switzerland. Because of my passport and everything, he said,
Speaker 3: first you fly to Turkey, and then from Turkey you
Speaker 3: can fly to other countries. And later I will come
Speaker 3: and we will go somewhere together. But for now, I
Speaker 3: need to sort out all the situation with my former friend,
Speaker 3: whom I trusted the most, and I need to figure
Speaker 3: out the whole situation with my gang. I need to
Speaker 3: crown someone who will be able to take care about
Speaker 3: everything I built. I can just let down everybody. He
Speaker 3: gave me some money, and he said not to communicate
Speaker 3: with anyone, even with my parents. He said to me
Speaker 3: in the end, now you have your freedom. Now you're free.
Speaker 3: And the driver, his friend, whom I never seen before.
Speaker 3: He came like an early early morning and he put
Speaker 3: me into the car and he drove me away.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to episode fifteen, chapter thirty two, to
Speaker 2: Hell and Back.
Speaker 4: To kill you. I'm really sorry.
Speaker 5: I had to do that.
Speaker 3: I could June did away home. I was hol and
Speaker 3: my god, I got to my to you have. I
Speaker 3: had to joy.
Speaker 6: Us?
Speaker 4: Is So what's.
Speaker 2: The Leah's story concludes in the next episode.
Speaker 3: I didn't know what was happening, and I was just
Speaker 3: in another world, and I asked you, what's happening, and
Speaker 3: he said, like, I don't know a lot of details,
Speaker 3: but she was murdered.
Speaker 2: If you or a loved one are a survivor of
Speaker 2: sexual assault. You can visit rain dot org that's r
Speaker 2: AI n N dot org or call one eight hundred
Speaker 2: sixty five six or six seven three for free confidential
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven. Support to Die For is a
Speaker 2: production of Tenderfoot TV in association with iHeart Podcasts. The
Speaker 2: show is hosted and written by me Neil Strauss, with
Speaker 2: additional writing assistants by Tristan Bankston. Executive producers are myself,
Speaker 2: Donald Allbright, and Payne Lindsay. For iHeart Podcasts, executive producers
Speaker 2: are Matt Frederick and Alex Williams. Lead producer and editor
Speaker 2: is Tristan Bankston. Additional editing by Miles Clark and Christian Brown.
Speaker 2: Supervising producer Tracy Kaplan. Consultants include Nushin, Valiza Day, Chelsea Gooden,
Speaker 2: and Jamie Albright. Artwork by Byron McCoy, Original music by
Speaker 2: Makeup and Vanity Set, mixed and mastered by Dayton Cole.
Speaker 2: Our theme song is Killer Shangli Law by Psychotic Beats
Speaker 2: featuring Pattiamore. Special thanks to Aren Rosenbaub and the team
Speaker 2: at Uta Beck Media and Marketing Aarren Siegel Becky Jensen.
Speaker 2: The nord Group, Meredith Stedman, Rose Baruch and alex Vespustad