WEBVTT - We Can’t Unsee Your Nose

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<v Speaker 1>Get your hands together, and we're going to stop and

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<v Speaker 1>party start.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a party the Elvis Terran after party you start that.

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<v Speaker 3>So not long ago, Andrew was asking us all what

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<v Speaker 3>a weird compliment was that we got. And I have

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<v Speaker 3>a friend who's obsessed with my nose. Every time I

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<v Speaker 3>see him, he's like, oh my god, you have the

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<v Speaker 3>cutest nose ever. And I said, not really, it looks

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<v Speaker 3>like a dick and ball. But I think all noses.

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<v Speaker 3>Whenever I look at noses, I see a dick and

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<v Speaker 3>balls in the middle.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh.

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<v Speaker 1>When I take a selfie, you know, sometimes that's all

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<v Speaker 1>I can focus on. I go, what is my my

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<v Speaker 1>nose look like a penis?

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<v Speaker 4>Correct?

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<v Speaker 5>I feel like I have the biggest dick and balls

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<v Speaker 5>on my fall.

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<v Speaker 6>Just like.

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<v Speaker 3>Even weird.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I mean I definitely see it out, but I

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<v Speaker 6>never thought of.

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<v Speaker 4>That much of a sack.

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<v Speaker 3>When he gets mad, he makes this nostril flair thing.

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<v Speaker 7>Do it which the balls and the nostrils?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah you never noticed this? No, you dick and balls? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 7>Maybe on my face? Maybe on my face, I do.

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<v Speaker 6>I honestly don't want him to know that because the

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<v Speaker 6>things that he's going to.

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<v Speaker 4>Put near there were good they make him anyway, Scaries

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<v Speaker 4>is a very pudgy dick and balls? Did you notice it?

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<v Speaker 4>Weird kind it's like slightly crooked.

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<v Speaker 6>Like, yeah, it is a little bent, it's got a

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<v Speaker 6>curve to it.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm so glad you mentioned I thought I was the

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<v Speaker 5>only person that thought that.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel much better.

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<v Speaker 3>I find myself staring at people that have like extra

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<v Speaker 3>dick and balls he noses, and I'm like, do they know?

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<v Speaker 3>Should I say it? I shouldn't say it?

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<v Speaker 4>Don't funny.

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<v Speaker 5>Every once in a while you have this thought that

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<v Speaker 5>you think you're the only person that ever thinks that,

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<v Speaker 5>and then somebody else says it.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, oh my, it makes you feel so much better.

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<v Speaker 4>Actually, I always.

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<v Speaker 8>Say that if you have thought of it, someone else

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<v Speaker 8>has definitely right I always I always say it to myself.

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<v Speaker 4>Said as as.

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<v Speaker 8>Weird and creepy, any any dark, deep thoughts you could

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<v Speaker 8>think of, someone has definitely come to the table.

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<v Speaker 7>Oh gods, penis in things. If I've thought of it,

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<v Speaker 7>somebody has done it, say scary. Same with you with

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<v Speaker 7>the curtains, people have done it.

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<v Speaker 4>I've never done anything with curtains.

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<v Speaker 7>No, but you thought it, but you thought it.

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<v Speaker 4>I thought his theory is that. My thought.

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<v Speaker 8>My theory is, don't ever touch hotel curtains because that

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<v Speaker 8>they've people have definitely finished on them.

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<v Speaker 7>Yes, that's right, someone's done it and they never and

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<v Speaker 7>they never washed the curtains ever.

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<v Speaker 8>So those things are there since day one and just

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<v Speaker 8>collecting all kinds of.

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<v Speaker 7>They never watched the coffee pot ever either, So there

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<v Speaker 7>you go.

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<v Speaker 4>No they do.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't.

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<v Speaker 4>I have to believe no one's putting it in.

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<v Speaker 6>An espresso hole or no one's doing that day. Now

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<v Speaker 6>there's all the little instant coffee pods.

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<v Speaker 7>Listen, you saw that hidden camera show on Fox many

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<v Speaker 7>years ago, non't the guy Peede in the coffee pot

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<v Speaker 7>at work?

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<v Speaker 4>People do things, so.

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<v Speaker 6>This is what you remember, and now you think everyone

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<v Speaker 6>does it well.

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<v Speaker 7>But no, not everyone that it's been done.

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<v Speaker 8>People behave badly when they don't know they're being watched.

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<v Speaker 7>Things are defiled.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, that's insane of like curtains.

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<v Speaker 5>Jes Yeah, guy, it just goes to hotels.

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<v Speaker 4>You bring a black lion in there, you will. You

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<v Speaker 4>will see what I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 3>I think the bed will probably be way more.

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<v Speaker 4>That's the first thing.

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<v Speaker 3>To the curtains.

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<v Speaker 4>Think about that.

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<v Speaker 5>You go to a motel, hotel, what holiday inn, you're

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<v Speaker 5>sitting on that bed, you're sleeping on that bed. You

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<v Speaker 5>would not even go near it if you actually knew

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<v Speaker 5>what people did on that thing?

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<v Speaker 6>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, the sheets get washed and do they cover?

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<v Speaker 4>As soon as I this is this is routine. As

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<v Speaker 4>soon as I walk into a hotel room, turn on

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<v Speaker 4>the light.

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<v Speaker 8>The very next thing I do is go right to

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<v Speaker 8>the bed and pull that top layer duvet off because

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<v Speaker 8>that never gets and any throw pillow that may be

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<v Speaker 8>around anything but.

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<v Speaker 5>The throw pillow touched inadvertently the pillow behind all of

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<v Speaker 5>the stuff that's seeping up through the ship.

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<v Speaker 8>How many.

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<v Speaker 5>Think about how many people like I'm sure you and

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<v Speaker 5>a few times.

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<v Speaker 1>But hotels and the people before us.

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<v Speaker 6>And.

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<v Speaker 4>Then the person that comes in after you. Do you

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<v Speaker 4>think they're thinking?

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<v Speaker 7>What about the stuff that soaks into the mattress and

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<v Speaker 7>then comes back up when you sit on it?

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<v Speaker 3>Really did anyone them all over the curtains?

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<v Speaker 4>Like you know?

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<v Speaker 7>It's because the germophobe that I am. I will sit

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<v Speaker 7>on the duvet, I will touch the remote control.

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<v Speaker 4>I do nothing of it.

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<v Speaker 7>On the phone, What do yeah, put in a bag.

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<v Speaker 7>I mean, yeah, a lot of places have them. Someone

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<v Speaker 7>touched that bag.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, the cleaner touched the bag.

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<v Speaker 7>And how clean is that cleaner? The curtains run.

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<v Speaker 3>You know what makes me upset is I like the

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<v Speaker 3>people who think about all of these things. You know

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<v Speaker 3>that they're the ones who have done some of these things,

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<v Speaker 3>which is why you think that way. Andrew has never

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<v Speaker 3>done these things, so he's like, no, why would anyone

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<v Speaker 3>do that? Why would you stick your dinger in the

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<v Speaker 3>coffee maker at a hotel.

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<v Speaker 7>I've never done it. I've never just done a curtain.

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<v Speaker 7>I've never stuck my dinger in coffee pots. But I

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<v Speaker 7>know that somebody has.

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<v Speaker 4>Not. For hate to agree with you, but I feel

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<v Speaker 4>like somebody has.

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<v Speaker 5>It might not be in the room, I stated, but

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<v Speaker 5>a dinger has definitely been in that coffee pot something.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, some drunken guy.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, guys, look at this.

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<v Speaker 3>If I had a dinger, I too might put it

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<v Speaker 3>in weird places.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't have one.

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<v Speaker 7>So if there was a Machela party in that room,

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<v Speaker 7>there was stuff everywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't you wake up one scary to one on your

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<v Speaker 1>face or something?

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<v Speaker 7>You're all, oh, Wow, Yes, didn't.

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<v Speaker 4>The salad. He repressed them, he stirred your salad.

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<v Speaker 8>God, this is a video on YouTube.

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<v Speaker 3>Immediate jail. Absolutely the things that.

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<v Speaker 4>Went on here in the early two thousands.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you eat the salad?

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<v Speaker 4>And then he told you? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>See, I think that that is a totally valid reason

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<v Speaker 3>to punch someone in their face.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, for sure.

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<v Speaker 6>Not in my salad. Not in my salad.

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<v Speaker 7>It doesn't matter if somebody else did it in the

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<v Speaker 7>salad before you even got it on air.

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<v Speaker 8>Bit allegedly I don't know, went on the air.

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<v Speaker 4>People were videoing it.

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<v Speaker 7>The guy picking the lettuce just in the field. So

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<v Speaker 7>it's on your lettuce?

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<v Speaker 6>What?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 6>Are you good?

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<v Speaker 7>No, it's not.

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<v Speaker 3>He is clearly not like I really don't.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, you know what. I'm gonna leave it there. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 6>there's no point talk.

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<v Speaker 7>He's long gone though.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay. Can we talk about the picture you sent me? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>I don't care.

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<v Speaker 5>Was it the bear?

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<v Speaker 4>It was Scotti and the bear, no pants on? He

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<v Speaker 4>took the picture. Was it post coitus?

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<v Speaker 7>I don't think that that was the quitest occasion.

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<v Speaker 4>It was me. It was Scotti with a bear on

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<v Speaker 4>his bed and he had no pants on, no.

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<v Speaker 3>The pictures.

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<v Speaker 7>I was going through old pictures and I found the

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<v Speaker 7>picture of Teddy Bear in my bedroom with me with

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<v Speaker 7>no pants on.

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<v Speaker 6>That poor bear.

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<v Speaker 4>But that wasn't me.

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<v Speaker 3>Can I also talk about this is the same guy

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<v Speaker 3>who's like, I'm not going to start an only fans

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<v Speaker 3>banana page, my kids will be embarrassed, but then talks

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<v Speaker 3>about this bear.

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<v Speaker 4>I was a child.

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<v Speaker 7>Every kid did something with a bear, not me.

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<v Speaker 4>If I thought everyone, did I do anything with a monkey?

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<v Speaker 8>I had my stuffed Curious George monkey and I never

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<v Speaker 8>touched it.

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<v Speaker 5>Everybody in this podcast asked, right now that has said

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<v Speaker 5>had sex with a stepped animal, say I I don't

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<v Speaker 5>think I did.

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<v Speaker 4>Start start to die.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, just cut it right clear.

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<v Speaker 7>I scoul impressed that memory. I don't know that it

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<v Speaker 7>actually happened.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh whatever, poor mister, that.

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<v Speaker 4>Poor bear should sue.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>I think I need a break real Yeah, can we

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<v Speaker 4>take a break? Ye time, look at Scotty be did you?

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<v Speaker 8>Thanks?

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<v Speaker 2>Andy?

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<v Speaker 4>Bye?

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<v Speaker 2>Ran after party