WEBVTT - Divided Minds — Sandy Beal E6 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:04.400 Before we begin, Please note this series includes talk of 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:10.760 suicide and sexual violence. Please take care while listening. So 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:12.600 I guess we can start driving now. So what does 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:30.560 beat you over there in ten minutes? However, so I'm 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:36.680 just in the car now. Last night the family gave 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:40.159 me Sandy's coat that she had with her the night 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.720 that she died, and so I'm feeling a great weight 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.919 of responsibility. I'm taking the coat with me and We're 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:49.920 going to go to the cemetery this morning. Sandy's body 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:53.080 is not there, but there's a marker for her, and 0:00:53.840 --> 0:01:09.040 I'm just popping in the address. We're rolling. Yeah, okay, 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:13.400 so tell us where we are. We're at Greenwood Cemetery. Um, 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:15.560 it's I think it's the largest one in john Sport 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:18.759 because there's probably like ten cemeteries here and we are 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:24.480 in our family cemetery for many generations, many centuries. And um, 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:29.880 we're about to walk to where Sandy's memorialize. That's interesting. 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:31.800 I wonder what the pennies are. Is that just a 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:34.919 show that you've been here? I wonder what does anyone 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:38.080 know what pennies have put on there? For the first 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:40.920 time I met Kim and she told me about Sandy. 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:44.039 I don't think she imagined her cousin's story would become 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:47.880 the subject of an entire podcast. A year went by 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:49.960 before I asked her if she would be willing to 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.440 embark on this project together. I couldn't do it without 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:59.680 her buying and Kim she was immediately yes, which I 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:02.960 thought is pretty brave, because when you invite a journalist 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:05.920 into your life, you're opening yourself up to a lot 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:10.200 of questioning, not all of which is comfortable or feels natural. 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:14.640 Kim was allowing me to scrutinize her long held belief 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:18.959 that Sandy was murdered. She was essentially giving me permission 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.440 to check her work and risking the prospect of being 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:29.760 proven wrong. Early on in the process, she invited me 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:32.880 to come to Maine to meet the whole family and 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:35.200 to crash a big birthday party for one of her 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:39.560 relatives who was turning eighty. This trip it was an 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:43.680 intense two full days of interviews. For hours at a time. 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:46.799 I sat down with members of the Bale family, and, 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:50.680 like an investigative reporter does, I peppered them with questions, 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:54.520 trying to establish the basic, undisputed facts of the case, 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.840 and a lot of these questions were directed at Kim, 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:01.120 as she was my conduit to the family and the 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.880 one who had spent the most time investigating Sandy's death 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.120 on our own. The final day of my trip, we 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:09.919 drove to the cemetery where Sandy has a grave marker. 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:13.200 I only had a few minutes before my flight back, 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.520 but I wanted to get Kim's temperature. After a long 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:22.120 and emotionally grueling weekend, I'm still processing it. It was. 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:24.560 It was definitely different to dredge it all back up 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.480 your the questions that you were asked. I was like, WHOA, 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:30.760 I've never thought about those things before. And then some 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:32.360 of the things that we came up with that I 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.040 thought were solid evidence and now we got to figure 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:39.520 out what it means and what it all was. But 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:43.080 that was a little disturbing. But the questions you asked, 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:48.080 we're we're pretty uh. They caught They caught me by surprise. 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.240 I have more questions than I thought I did, and 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:55.080 I'll send them to you. I'm trusting that it's all 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.200 going to unfold and we'll get the answers that we 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:02.240 need to help bring some closure for them. Well for 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.600 me too. I'm so glad you guys came up here. 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:07.760 I can't believe you'd come to jal Sport nine and 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:14.320 do this From my heart radio. I'm Melissa Jolson, and 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:17.120 this is what happened to Sandy Beale and I heard 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:33.120 original podcast Chapter six, Divided Minds. When I first met 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:36.359 the Beals in Maine, I made them a promise that 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.120 I would keep an open mind and follow the evidence, 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.080 and I wouldn't be swayed by one side or the other. 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.240 It was clear from the get go that there were 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:49.000 two opposing sides here. Mine so divided that there was 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:52.159 very little agreement on what the most basic facts meant. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:56.280 The Prince George's County Police Department and the Bell family 0:04:56.680 --> 0:05:00.880 had examined the exact same documents. Dice did the exact 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:05.280 same set of facts and come to wildly divergent conclusions 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.200 about what happened to Sandy. As a pair of fresh 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.240 eyes on the case, I wondered whether both sides were 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:16.279 trapped in their own cycles of confirmation bias, processing the 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:21.120 information in a way that aligned with their own preconceived ideas. 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:24.800 Like the cardboard under the wheels of Sandy's car. The 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.799 Bills interpreted it as a sign that Sandy was trying 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.080 to leave the pollard on the night of her death 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:34.359 and wasn't planning to die by suicide. But this detail 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:38.039 was not even remembered by Detective sachel Ski. It didn't 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:42.839 register as important because it didn't fit neatly into his theory. 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:47.039 We each are bringing our own experiences, our own beliefs, 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:51.279 our own desires to the table, so that when two 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:54.479 people with different mindsets are given the same information to 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:57.720 look at by virtue of their different brains, they may 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:02.080 interpret those things in very different ways. Jeff Kakuka is 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:06.400 a professor of psychology at Telson University. He's an expert 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.800 on how bias can influence decision making, including an investigations 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.239 in psychology. When we talk about bias, what we're talking 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.680 about is kind of like a reflex. It's something that 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.599 where brains do without us even realizing that we're doing it. 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:25.200 Once you have a conclusion in mind, um, you're no 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:30.279 longer sort of taking in all the information and evaluating 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.680 it in an objective way. Instead, what tends to happen 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:39.680 is people will selectively seek out information that fits their 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:43.920 existing beliefs, and if they encounter any information that goes 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.359 against their existing beliefs, will either ignore it or find 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.400 a way to somehow minimize its importance so that they 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:54.120 can again sort of continue preserving that belief that exists 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:59.120 in the first place. There's an adage that have thought 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:03.160 about a lot while making this podcast. It's called Handlon's Razor, 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:07.159 and it goes like this, never attribute to malice that 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:11.320 which is adequately explained by stupidity. There's a few different 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:16.160 versions of the phrase, and sometimes incompetence is subbed for stupidity. 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:20.680 This proverb, it's a helpful reminder not to immediately assume 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:24.520 the worst intentions in the actions of others, that more 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:28.520 often than not people are careless or selfish rather than 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:34.320 means spirited or evil. Of course, malice exists, but if 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:37.160 you look for it everywhere, you could risk having a 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:43.400 distorted reception of reality. Take, for instance, Sandy's original death certificate, 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:49.800 issued on February. It was given to Joanne back then 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:53.560 and has remained in her possession ever since. At the 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:55.880 bottom of the page, there's a line with a medical 0:07:55.880 --> 0:08:03.520 examiner must indicate the manner of death. Choosing between natural causes, homicide, suicide, accident, 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:07.680 or undetermined, you would expect the box for suicide to 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:11.880 be checked, but it's not. Instead, there's an X through 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:16.360 the box undetermined manner of death. It was always an 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:20.280 odd inconsistency that bothered the family, and a few years 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:24.520 ago it got even weirder. Kim requested a new copy 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:28.520 of Sandy's death certificate. When she received the document, she 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:31.640 was startled to find that the box for suicide now 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:36.200 had an X two. Kim's immediate impression was that the 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:39.360 records might have been altered to fit with the police's story, 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:44.320 And it's entirely possible that the medical examiner's office colluded 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.440 with the police to cover up for death. But the 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:51.920 possibility also exists that it's just a typo that the 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:55.520 medical examiner initially stamped the wrong box and fixed it 0:08:55.600 --> 0:09:02.760 later incompetence or malice. That's the thing is, these biases 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:06.040 are so pervasive that they can affect every aspect of 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:09.400 our decision making without even us realizing that it's happening. 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:12.960 We have these beliefs, and our brain is wired in 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:16.720 such a way that leads us to pursue information that 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:20.839 agrees with our beliefs, rather than pursuing information that might 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:23.520 prove us wrong, because who likes to be proven wrong. 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:41.800 It's understandable why Kim and the rest of the Beal 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:46.720 family was suspicious of Prince George's County police because the 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:50.640 investigation into Sandy's death was tainted by a clear conflict 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:54.960 of interest. Sandy was a police trainee and her car 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:58.880 was filled with evidence linking her to local cops. And 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:01.920 if PG County police officers were willing to cover up 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:06.000 their sexual misconduct, what other wrongdoing were they capable of. 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:12.120 If Shachelski could forget the cardboard, what other inconvenient facts 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:16.200 might have evaded his memory? Without trust in the police, 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:20.320 the Bills were skeptical of everything they were told. And 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:22.160 this is where I thought I could be of help. 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.720 I wanted to bring in some unbiased experts to try 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:29.079 to recreate what happened that night in the Pollard, inserting 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:34.080 some impartiality into Sandy's case. That's how I met Paul Rybay, 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:37.440 a certified forensic pathologist who has worked for the U. S. 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:41.120 Army as well as local and state agencies. He told 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:45.240 me he's performed over autopsies in his career, and hundreds 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:48.480 of those have been suicides. I gave him the rundown 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:53.360 on Sandy's case, the keys in the ignition and the 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:57.000 cardboard under the wheels while she's in the mud, that 0:10:57.120 --> 0:10:59.560 might indicate that Sandy had been trying to leave the 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.440 location him that she was at. How do you interpret 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:05.559 this kind of information in the context of a suicide. 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:09.959 I would lump that in with Okay, what's the timeline? 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.920 What happened in the hours before her death? You know, 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:16.920 even you know, going back like twenty four hours? Why 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.480 was she there, who was she meeting with? Who did 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.920 she have relations with? You know? And that would answer 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:25.160 the question why are their cardboard under the tires? All 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:29.200 these questions he's asking, they're great ones. We don't have 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.480 answers to them, though, because PG County Police closed the 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:37.079 case before establishing these facts, that on its face isn't 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:42.840 necessarily suspect Paul said, Is every death investigated to the 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:47.760 absolute extreme of pushing the investigation as far as we can, 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:52.760 interviewing absolutely everyone possible, and you know, doing a full 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:56.439 court press on every case. No, And that's just that's 0:11:56.480 --> 0:12:01.000 that's largely a matter of resources and resource allocation. This 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.520 reminded me of what Detective Selski told me about how 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.160 overworked and understaffed he was back in the nineteen seventies. 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:14.920 I mean, they us like, don't they really did? Selski 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.640 told me that his immediate read of the scene was 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:21.120 that of a suicide. There was ample evidence of it, 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:25.120 he said, and one of the biggest factors was the gun. 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.440 If it was as side, if it was a murder. 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:32.200 First off, I don't think the killer when I left 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:37.160 the gun there. Then when I found out the gun 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:42.240 blown to her father, it's not likely that someone would 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:46.200 have murdered her with her father's gun. But from the 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.920 Bill's perspective, the gun is the most important piece of 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:55.160 evidence that proves Sandy didn't die by suicide. The gun 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:59.079 isn't abstract to them. It was returned to the family 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:03.520 after Sandy's death. Sandy's brothers have shot it. They know 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.440 the power it takes, the kick back after you pull 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:10.480 the trigger, and based on their personal experience, they came 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:13.680 to believe she couldn't have shot herself with it. Not 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.360 that Sandy wouldn't, although they also believe that, but that 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:21.640 she couldn't. That the physical evidence just didn't line up. 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.559 Here's Michael and Stephen. The thing about that gun. It 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.000 was a three fift or seven, and it was a 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:33.440 long gun, long barrel right gun. And when that when 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:35.880 you shot that thing, it kicked, I mean it had 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:39.079 a kick to it, so she would have to use 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:42.640 two hands in order to shoot it. And a trigger 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.720 wasn't a hair trigger either. It had a couple of 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:49.040 pounds of pulled So, uh, that's the other thing, you know. 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.960 That kind of got me about why they said she 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.679 would shoot herself, because if she was able to manage that, 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:58.320 that freaking gun would have shot off, would have taken 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:02.079 off right through the day side glass window. And Kim 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:05.760 shared this opinion that it was impossible Sandy shot herself. 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.520 And when I met with the Prince George's County police, 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.440 they were so insistent on you just don't understand. We've 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:14.760 seen lots of things like that. And I finally just said, 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.800 if you can prove to me through ballistics and show 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.280 me the trajectory and all the opportunities that this was suicide, 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.080 then I'll believe you. But not until then all your 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:27.960 evidence completely goes against the evidence that I have she 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:35.760 did not commit suicide. Listening to Detective Sachelski and the 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:39.480 Bell family, I was faced with two different interpretations of 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:43.000 the same evidence, and so I asked Paul for his opinion, 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:47.760 and he turned my attention to Sandy's hands. When you 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:51.080 fire a revolver, especially at three fifty seven magnum, there's 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.480 allowed a lot of gunpowder that explodes, and a lot 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.560 of that gunpowder comes out through what's called the cylinder gap. 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.240 So say, if you have your hand and over that 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.320 cylinder gap, or even adjacent to it, when you discharge it, 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.760 you can get you sit on your hand. That way, 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.360 both of Sandy's hands had gunpowder on them, according to 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:15.960 the police report. Paul said he would interpret this to 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:19.040 mean that Sandy was either holding the gun or had 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:21.400 her hands very close to it when it was fired. 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.600 So would it be possible to have sit on your 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.120 hands and not have been the one to pull the trigger? 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:31.960 If you were in a small, enclosed environment, it could 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:33.680 be like if you were grabbing for the gun to 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:37.600 push it away or something like that. I've done cases 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:43.520 where two people are struggling for a gun and the 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:47.640 gun goes off, and it's very difficult to tell who 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.880 you know who pulled the trigger, because they both might 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:52.800 have had their finger on the trigger, or someone had 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.440 their finger on the trigger and the other person, you know, 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:58.640 is grabbing their hand to try and either keep them 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.840 from pulling the usually to keep them from pulling the trigger. 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.160 Paul pointed out that Sandy was also shot at very 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:09.680 close range, which is characteristic of a suicide. Now, if 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.160 it's a contact wound, it's either one of two things. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.160 Either the person put the gun to their head and 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:17.280 pull the trigger. In this case, put the gun to 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.280 you know, she put the gun to her abdomen and 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.000 pull the trigger, or someone else put the gun to 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.760 her abdomen and pull the trigger. And then that's where, Okay, 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:29.160 we're looking for We're looking for other evidence to support 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:35.440 that or rule that out. So I can tell you 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:37.680 the range, I can tell you the trajectory. I can 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.440 tell you what it injured. I can tell you, you know, 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:45.280 I can give you maybe a little estimate of survivability maybe, 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:49.120 so I can tell you all of those things, but 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:53.880 I can't tell you who shot it. I asked him 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:57.080 about the lack of fingerprints on the gun. Turns out 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:01.240 Paul didn't find this that unusual. Fire Arms are notoriously 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:05.679 hard to test for prints. One study estimated that fingerprints 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.480 are recovered from firearms only about percent of the time, 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:14.280 and that's nowadays because of say, you know, the texture 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:17.960 on the handle or just a partial print at a 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:20.400 odd location of the gun, they might not be able 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:23.159 to get it. And I would also have to know, Okay, 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:27.679 what is the fingerprinting policies and procedures of the Prince 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:32.520 George's County Police departments circle, and you know, did they 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:37.800 follow that procedure. Reading the autopsy report, Sandy's gunshot wound 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:42.919 is described in excruciating and impersonal detail. Quote. The wound 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:46.240 is slightly ovoid, a quarter inch in diameter, and is 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:50.200 surrounded by an eighth inch rim of abrasion resembling muzzle imprint. 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:55.240 Powder is noted in the wound margins. I asked Paul, 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.920 based on everything that's in the autopsy and the police report, 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:03.879 and take into consideration the family's significant questions, if it 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:09.399 was possible that Sandy shot herself, if you put your 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.800 hand right at the base of your rib cage or 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:15.920 base of your stern um, move it over about three 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:20.200 inches to the bottom of your rib margin, that's where 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:24.280 the entrance was. Now. Once again, if she were to 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:29.680 do this herself, she could fire the gun essentially holding 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.200 the handle of the gun with her gun with her 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:36.120 with her left thumb on the trigger, which is sort 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:40.520 of like holding it backwards essentially, which is consistent with 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.960 her kind of holding her left hand across her body, 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:47.520 so to speak, and then likely firing the gun with 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.840 her thumb on the trigger, and that could also explain 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:53.640 why they didn't find any fingerprints on the gun as well. 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:59.040 Paul could see a scenario in which Sandy shot herself 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:03.240 and caused there He's described in her autopsy. What had 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:09.119 been unthinkable to the Beals was a real probability to Paul. Still, 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:12.960 he admitted that the case was unusual. How many times 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.159 in your career, if you remember, have you seen a 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:20.560 teenage girl shoot herself? Probably less than five ever in 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:41.440 the apt hunt, the stories Sandy's family tell about her 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:46.119 emphasize her sense of humor and her protective instincts. She 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.920 was quick to speak her mind and stand up for herself. 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:54.120 Her family knew her to be cheerful, focus hard working. 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:58.359 She was a well adjusted kid who they trusted, and 0:19:58.440 --> 0:20:01.560 based on their knowledge of her as a daughter and 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:05.080 a sister and a cousin, they didn't believe Sandy would 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:08.879 take her own life. It was incomprehensible to them, it 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:13.080 didn't match the person they knew. But during this reporting 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:15.879 I found out a lot of things they didn't know 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:20.240 about Sandy, things that were happening in her life, and 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:24.080 as painful as it is to contemplate now, there's probably 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:26.719 a lot they didn't know about how she was feeling. 0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:33.840 Sandy died surrounded by police paraphernalia. Her dashboard held a 0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:38.800 shift schedule card, a duty rig and newspaper clippings about cops, 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:42.200 and she was found in a location where cops life 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:46.199 to gather. Her family believed that she was protected in 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:49.520 the presence of police, but I think it's more likely 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:52.080 that all that time she spent hanging out with them 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:56.600 was actually an opportunity for abuse. From what I've discovered, 0:20:56.960 --> 0:20:59.880 it seems obvious that at least some police officers took 0:20:59.880 --> 0:21:04.720 it advantage of Sandy pursuing inappropriate sexual relationships with the teenager, 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:09.040 and in this climate, Sandy became pregnant and had an 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:14.640 abortion in secret. If she was being mistreated by police, 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:19.280 then I imagine she would have felt very alone, possibly scared, 0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:22.439 and she probably didn't know how to make it stop. 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.919 Sandy kept these painful parts of her life hidden. She 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:32.760 presented to the outside world as fine, and to her 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:36.160 family this was strong evidence that she couldn't have died 0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:40.680 by suicide because they didn't see it coming. Their assumption 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:43.880 about suicide was that if Sandy had been considering it, 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:46.840 her pain would have been so visible it could not 0:21:47.000 --> 0:21:54.639 go unnoticed. But that's not always the case. If you 0:21:54.640 --> 0:21:59.960 think about human nature, what makes it up, purpose, meaning, contribution, 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:05.360 in connection. Thomas Joyner is a researcher at Florida State University. 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:09.480 He spends his days researching ways to prevent suicide. It's 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:13.200 a deep puzzle about human nature about why this would happen. 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.680 The bills have not been able to answer this, why 0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:19.320 Sandy would have thought that this was the best option 0:22:19.400 --> 0:22:23.840 for her, and this question is the subject of Thomas's research, 0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:27.280 which explores what's happening in the minds of people who 0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:31.800 are suicidal. If you become that convinced that you're a 0:22:31.840 --> 0:22:35.720 burden on other people, and if you feel like you're 0:22:36.960 --> 0:22:42.160 um disconnected and cut off, ostracized, alienated, if you feel 0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:46.679 those two things deeply and then also permanently that they're 0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:50.960 they're intractable, that there they'll never change that that mixture 0:22:51.040 --> 0:22:54.959 is the danger zone where people might take their lives. 0:22:55.880 --> 0:22:59.200 Of those who find themselves in this dangerous zone of 0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:03.679 feeling deeply alienated, a burden to others, and convinced that 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:08.080 those feelings will never change, not all attempts suicide. The 0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:11.760 vast majority of people who experience suicidal ideation do not 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:16.040 act on it. To put it in perspective, around forty 0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:19.399 six thousand people die from suicide every year in the US, 0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:24.520 about a million more attempted, and many many more. Around 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:29.239 twelve million people seriously think about it. Yeah, it's one 0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:31.359 thing to talk about death in the abstract, but to 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:40.080 actually face it in reality totally different matter. Not everybody 0:23:40.119 --> 0:23:45.800 has the requisite fearlessness, pain tolerance, even practical knowledge to 0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:49.359 have the capacity to even in act suicide, even if 0:23:49.359 --> 0:23:53.720 they really genuinely desire to do so. Did Sandy have 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:57.000 those things? I know she had access to a gun 0:23:57.480 --> 0:24:01.040 her father's and her brother Michael actually told me that 0:24:01.119 --> 0:24:03.520 he had seen Sandy take it on a few occasions. 0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:07.120 Sandy said she was borrowing the gun for target practice. 0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:09.840 So it follows that Sandy would have known how to 0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:13.760 use it and suicide as a form of death, of course, 0:24:14.400 --> 0:24:18.000 is fearsome and scary and daunting, and so to face 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:22.240 it fully, to steer it down, you need a capacity 0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:29.040 to do that. Not everybody hasn't I told Thomas about 0:24:29.080 --> 0:24:32.000 the bells is vivid memory of Sandy as a happy, 0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:36.119 high functioning teenager. Sometimes it does look like that suicide 0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:40.640 does look sudden. What does that mean? Does it mean 0:24:40.640 --> 0:24:45.040 it was truly impulsive? For Might it mean, for example, 0:24:45.119 --> 0:24:49.879 that the person was very successful in concealing their ongoing 0:24:50.080 --> 0:24:52.520 misery and planning. And I think it's the latter. I 0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:56.080 think it's clearly the ladder, But there is debate about 0:24:56.080 --> 0:24:59.960 that and and that that can hurt to the loved one. 0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:02.600 It seems like she would have told us, you know, 0:25:02.680 --> 0:25:05.560 we're the family, we're the loved ones. But a way 0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:09.680 to understand that is that she felt maybe that this 0:25:09.720 --> 0:25:14.760 was a profound burden that she's carrying, that she's a 0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:17.240 burden to everybody. She felt that maybe on the inside, 0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:22.600 to share that with others, in her view, might have 0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:31.840 further burdened them. A sudden death in anyone is a tragedy, 0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:35.800 and it doesn't matter what the cause was, that that's 0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:40.640 gonna grieve families, and and and troubled families for years 0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:44.679 or even decades. And then to add the additional layer 0:25:44.840 --> 0:25:48.159 of it wasn't just an accident or an illness, so 0:25:48.280 --> 0:25:53.560 they took their own lives. That hurts. That, that really hurts. 0:25:53.800 --> 0:25:58.960 And and I don't think it needs be very different 0:25:59.000 --> 0:26:02.240 than a car accident or or a heart attack. But 0:26:03.520 --> 0:26:05.040 to get to that place, you have to have a 0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:09.640 particular understanding of the suicidal mindset that most people, most 0:26:09.680 --> 0:26:13.320 families don't have. I asked Thomas what to make of 0:26:13.359 --> 0:26:16.520 the fact that Sandy had plans for the future. She 0:26:16.640 --> 0:26:20.080 was moving to Maine, she was actively pursuing a career 0:26:20.119 --> 0:26:23.639 in law enforcement. Even her abortion could be considered a 0:26:23.680 --> 0:26:26.800 sign that she was thinking ahead, planning for the life 0:26:26.840 --> 0:26:30.680 she wanted. She was still balancing her checkbook right before 0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:37.119 she died. If you have plans, it either means that, uh, 0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:39.920 suicide is not on your mind at all. It can 0:26:39.960 --> 0:26:43.800 mean that, or if you have plans, it can mean 0:26:44.560 --> 0:26:48.280 that there's a struggle going on in your mind, a 0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:53.280 an argument, a debate between death and life, an ambivalence 0:26:53.880 --> 0:26:57.199 that's going back and forth, tilting back and forth, and 0:26:57.240 --> 0:27:01.880 when it tilts toward death, ending for future activities seasons 0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:05.280 pretty much, and planning for suicide kicks on. And then 0:27:05.280 --> 0:27:08.479 when it tilts back towards the other side of the 0:27:08.560 --> 0:27:13.680 ambivalence towards life, then you might, you know, put the 0:27:13.800 --> 0:27:17.000 suicide planning on the shelf, so to speak, and kick 0:27:17.080 --> 0:27:23.520