Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, what's up man? What's your name? Oh?
Speaker 2: My name's Taz Taz like the like.
Speaker 1: The Tasmanian Devil. Yes, sir, well, Tasmanian devil. What's going on?
Speaker 2: Well, I've had a crazy last few months and I
Speaker 2: figured you. I tried calling in it to tell you
Speaker 2: about it before, but you said my phone sucked.
Speaker 1: So oh well your phone sounds good now, so let's
Speaker 1: hear it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, let's see about say, about five months ago, me
Speaker 2: and my wife were splitting up, and she said she
Speaker 2: was going to go down to her mom's for a
Speaker 2: little bit, just to have some time apart, because we've
Speaker 2: been married for about five years and been up each others,
Speaker 2: but literally the whole time, never spent a day apart.
Speaker 2: And then she said she was doing that and I said, okay.
Speaker 2: She took my son and they went down probably two
Speaker 2: hours away, and I that next Wednesday she called me
Speaker 2: and says, actually, I took your son and we moved
Speaker 2: to Florida with a guy I met online about a
Speaker 2: month before we broke up, and he's making more money
Speaker 2: and he's going to let her be a stay at
Speaker 2: home mom and all this stuff. So she just up
Speaker 2: and left and took my son from Texas to Florida.
Speaker 2: And now she's come back to Texas and is pregnant
Speaker 2: with this dude's baby and didn't have a place to live.
Speaker 2: So I let her move back in with me. It's
Speaker 2: been pretty crazy.
Speaker 1: That's very crazy. You let her move back in with you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I couldn't let her just be homeless and
Speaker 2: live outside and have my son. You know, I still unfortunately,
Speaker 2: I still love her, So yeah, I just I let
Speaker 2: her move back in.
Speaker 1: And how long it was this?
Speaker 2: She just moved back in probably two months ago.
Speaker 1: And is she still there?
Speaker 4: Yep?
Speaker 1: And does your son live there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my son's staying with me. The dude that she
Speaker 2: moved in with in Florida, he's only three, and he
Speaker 2: abused him with a belt and all sorts of stuff.
Speaker 2: So I told her I'm not letting her go anywhere
Speaker 2: with my son again.
Speaker 1: The Okay, So the guy that your wife left you for,
Speaker 1: who she met on the internet and living down to Florida,
Speaker 1: you found out that he hit your.
Speaker 2: Son, yeah, with a belt and he's only three.
Speaker 1: Thats fucking sucks, man. I'm sorry to hear that. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all right, It definitely makes my blood boil.
Speaker 2: And I told her, I don't ever want to see
Speaker 2: this dude, because you know, a father might not react
Speaker 2: too well to the man that was abusing his son.
Speaker 1: All right, So so where where where's that guy? So
Speaker 1: she's just been living with you for two months, she's
Speaker 1: pregnant with this guy's kid, and she's your son. And
Speaker 1: what she's like, where's the guy? The guy's just down
Speaker 1: in Florida. Is she's still seeing him? What's going on
Speaker 1: with that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the guy's down in Florida. And she when she
Speaker 2: moved back up here, she's saying that she wants to
Speaker 2: get back with me and wants to be with me
Speaker 2: and all this stuff. But I'm not too sure about
Speaker 2: all that. But she said that she's still going to
Speaker 2: continue to talk to this dude, text him and talk
Speaker 2: to him on the phone and all this stuff. And
Speaker 2: she didn't care whether I was okay with it or not.
Speaker 2: And she said that's what she's going to do. But
Speaker 2: she wants to be with me. She wants us to
Speaker 2: get back together. And I don't know if well.
Speaker 1: She wants to get back together with you? Yes, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, man, how's your relationship with your three year
Speaker 1: old son who's living with you. How's that that sounds good?
Speaker 2: Yeah, He's the only reason I get up and go
Speaker 2: to work every day. Really, I mean before I had
Speaker 2: a family to take care of him. When they left,
Speaker 2: I kind of felt like I lost my purpose, so
Speaker 2: I started slacking off at work and showing up late
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. But now that he's back, I
Speaker 2: feel like it kind of gives me the motivation to
Speaker 2: wake up at four o'clock in the morning and drive
Speaker 2: an hour and a half to work every day.
Speaker 1: Is here says here? You're twenty six, Yes, sir, yep.
Speaker 1: God damn man, you're more of an adult than I am. M.
Speaker 2: It's hard, but you know, if he's back, I'm definitely
Speaker 2: going to take every advantage of getting to take care
Speaker 2: of him and don't want to, you know, lose my
Speaker 2: job and lose my house and then be in a predicament.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Well, brother, let's talk all right, what's the give me?
Speaker 1: What's your best case scenario?
Speaker 2: Well, the best case scenario would be that she gets
Speaker 2: a job and we try and work on building trust again,
Speaker 2: because you know, I'm sure you can tell that the
Speaker 2: trust is a little to none at the moment because
Speaker 2: of what she did. And like I said, I still
Speaker 2: love her. She's the mother to my my son. And
Speaker 2: you know, I feel like we're we're two halfs to
Speaker 2: a hole. We get we get along real well. We
Speaker 2: don't seem to fight and argue. It's just money has
Speaker 2: always been an issue, living in Austin, Texas and only
Speaker 2: me having a job.
Speaker 1: Mm hm. So you want to you want to get
Speaker 1: back together with her and make it, make it work
Speaker 1: after all.
Speaker 2: This I do, but I feel real hesitant about it,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like who and then what
Speaker 2: what is everybody else going to think of me? Like
Speaker 2: I'm just a pushover simp, you know. Just she she
Speaker 2: left and come back and I just take her back,
Speaker 2: no problem type deal.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Well is how long have you been not even married,
Speaker 1: but like together with this with this woman.
Speaker 2: So we've been married for five and we were dating
Speaker 2: for two, so seven we've been together for seven years.
Speaker 2: Me and her are the exact same age, were only
Speaker 2: like a month apart her birthdays in April and minds
Speaker 2: in May.
Speaker 1: So we're and she's still seeing she's still seeing this
Speaker 1: this dude down in Florida, who hit your kid.
Speaker 2: She told me that they're not together and that she
Speaker 2: doesn't want to be with him. That's why she left
Speaker 2: him to come back to Texas. But she said that
Speaker 2: he forced her to stop talking to me, like he
Speaker 2: had passwords to her phone and would look at that
Speaker 2: was logged into her face, Facebook and Instagram and all
Speaker 2: that stuff, just to make sure that she wasn't talking
Speaker 2: to nobody else. So he made her completely cut me off,
Speaker 2: and she said that she didn't want to do that,
Speaker 2: but now that she's back in Texas and she doesn't
Speaker 2: ever want to go through that again. So she said
Speaker 2: she's not going to let me tell her who she
Speaker 2: can and can't talk to. But if I ever want
Speaker 2: to look at their messages to feel free that she
Speaker 2: doesn't want to be back with him. She just doesn't
Speaker 2: want to have to go to court for the child
Speaker 2: and all that stuff. So the plan is is she's
Speaker 2: just going to give the baby to him, which I
Speaker 2: don't think is a very good idea after seeing the
Speaker 2: way that he treated my son. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: it would be hard for me to raise, you know,
Speaker 2: this other man's child, and whenever I'm barely even able
Speaker 2: to take care of me, my son, and my wife.
Speaker 1: We are in full doctor Phil mode on this podcast. Man, okay, listen,
Speaker 1: let me obviously this is a crazy situation, but let
Speaker 1: me tell you. Let me tell you one. Okay, Ship,
Speaker 1: what's your name again? I'm sorry, I'm stupid, tes Tess,
Speaker 1: Tess from everything that you have told me, and I
Speaker 1: know in your brain maybe you beat yourself up of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a simp or whatever you strike me. And I
Speaker 1: mean this as a guy who has a lot of
Speaker 1: integrity and care for other people and for his family, right,
Speaker 1: because you really are. You really are because and for
Speaker 1: better or for worse in terms of how it affects
Speaker 1: you personally, but clearly you make decisions with your life
Speaker 1: that are the most beneficial for your son, right, and
Speaker 1: you understand and accept the response and embrace the responsibility
Speaker 1: that comes with being a father, which is a crazy
Speaker 1: I mean, we're the same age, and you're you know,
Speaker 1: it's a crazy thing to take in and excel at,
Speaker 1: and you're doing it. And I truly, truly, truly, truly
Speaker 1: truly commend you for that. And you're making some fucking
Speaker 1: difficult decisions to be able to do that, and so
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I mean,
Speaker 1: later I make it frustrated and tell you what to do.
Speaker 1: But I just hope you know that you deserve to
Speaker 1: be happy, and you deserve to live a drama free life,
Speaker 1: and you deserve to you have relationships where you're loved
Speaker 1: and prioritized and treated well and with respect. And I
Speaker 1: hope you internalize that and understand that, and that those truths,
Speaker 1: in addition to thinking about what's best for your son
Speaker 1: and the people you care about, I hope that those
Speaker 1: truths are what guide your decision making process in this situation.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, okay, And that's that's where it's it's hard. I
Speaker 2: care about my son so much that I would hate to,
Speaker 2: you know, take him away from his mother, even though
Speaker 2: she did it to me, or or for him to
Speaker 2: have to grow up without his mom and his dad,
Speaker 2: even though I still truly love her. I mean, even
Speaker 2: though she did this to me, I still can't change
Speaker 2: if that change that, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 2: hate her for what she did. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: I excuse my wife. You know, I do anything for her. Obviously,
Speaker 2: I let her move back in and she doesn't even
Speaker 2: have a job, and I'm letting, I'm paying all the
Speaker 2: bills and paying for food and all that.
Speaker 1: Taz, do you I mean, I mean this with with
Speaker 1: with respect. What how do you? How do you feel
Speaker 1: about yourself?
Speaker 2: I feel like myself isn't as important as my son.
Speaker 2: You know. I chose to lay down in bed and
Speaker 2: bring that life into this world. So if it, if
Speaker 2: it making his life better comes at the detriment of
Speaker 2: my life, then you know, that's that's what needs to
Speaker 2: be done. He deserves to have a life.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: It's not his fault that she took off or my
Speaker 2: fault that you know, he she did what she did,
Speaker 2: or anything like that, you know. And I would hate
Speaker 2: to take that out on him by just leaving, you know,
Speaker 2: and being like, well, screw you, you screwed me over.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm just gonna take my son and leave
Speaker 2: like you did me. You know, I just feel like
Speaker 2: that would be, you know, not beneficial to him in
Speaker 2: any kind of way.
Speaker 1: Does a universe of joint custody exist in this situation?
Speaker 3: It does.
Speaker 2: And she said that she would never take him away
Speaker 2: from me again because she realized that that was wrong.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, she well, I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't what would we what would we do? You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. If she were to go back to
Speaker 2: Florida and we were to have joint custody, it wouldn't
Speaker 2: really matter at that point because she'd be you know,
Speaker 2: five six states away, fourteen hours, So it wouldn't really
Speaker 2: matter unless she got her own place.
Speaker 3: Close.
Speaker 1: You know, M, who else have you talked to about this? M?
Speaker 2: Just like my mom, But my mom is a drug
Speaker 2: addict and and doesn't really have the best relationship advice
Speaker 2: in her life, and that's kind of, you know, one
Speaker 2: of the that's the only person I really have. Everybody
Speaker 2: else tells me that I'm crazy and that I'm I'm
Speaker 2: crazy strong for you know, just letting her move back
Speaker 2: in like this. But at the same time, you know,
Speaker 2: they kind of look at me like, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: You know, like why?
Speaker 4: Who?
Speaker 2: What kind of man lets his wife leave and lets
Speaker 2: her come back just pregnant and puts up with it
Speaker 2: and is okay? I guess you know, the way most
Speaker 2: people put it, they think I'm just okay with it.
Speaker 2: But it's kind of just a situation that kind of
Speaker 2: landed on my lap.
Speaker 1: What do you think is best for your son?
Speaker 2: I think, not being selfish, but I think what I
Speaker 2: want would also would be what's best for him. You know,
Speaker 2: if she could, Like I said, I guess I can't
Speaker 2: really control who she talks to. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: if she's not you know, talking dirty or or you know,
Speaker 2: telling him that she loves him or that she's gonna
Speaker 2: move back, you know, kind of giving him false hope
Speaker 2: and stuff, I would hope that me and her can
Speaker 2: make this work and rebuild trust and move on from
Speaker 2: it and just kind of look at it as a
Speaker 2: thing of the past, and him to have both of
Speaker 2: his parents, his mom and his dad, because I didn't
Speaker 2: have both my parents together, and I remember getting in
Speaker 2: trouble and being like, you know, screw it, I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna go live with my dad. And I'd get in
Speaker 2: trouble there and I'd be like, screw it, I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna go live with my mom and kind of really
Speaker 2: messed my life up because I don't. That's why I
Speaker 2: don't have any long term adult friends, because I moved
Speaker 2: so much because I was a brat and my parents
Speaker 2: had joint custody.
Speaker 1: Well, all right, tell me this. So, all right, so
Speaker 1: you grew up your parents having a joint custody and
Speaker 1: was it a similar thing where they were in very
Speaker 1: different locations?
Speaker 2: Now, they probably lived about an hour apart from each other.
Speaker 2: So we would meet up on the weekends and I
Speaker 2: would go live with the other one whoever I would
Speaker 2: or go stay the weekends and holidays and stuff with
Speaker 2: who the parents I wasn't living with.
Speaker 1: Okay, so understandably that's hard, But like, what, all right,
Speaker 1: when you were growing up, what was like your relationship
Speaker 1: with your dad, like on an individual outside of outside
Speaker 1: of the joint custody situation and outside of his relationship
Speaker 1: with your mom.
Speaker 2: I absolutely love my dad, especially when I was a kid,
Speaker 2: because I was too young to understand some of the
Speaker 2: kind of you know, living in in Texas and my
Speaker 2: dad is from from Texas his whole life, and he's
Speaker 2: kind of a racist, kind of sort of yeah, he's
Speaker 2: just really racist. And I didn't realize that as a kid,
Speaker 2: and so as a kid, we were great. I loved him,
Speaker 2: I looked up to him a lot. But now that
Speaker 2: I'm an adult and I realize, you know, whoa some
Speaker 2: of the shit you said as a kid, that's kind
Speaker 2: of kind of crazy and whatnot. So I just, you know,
Speaker 2: trying not to have so much going on in my
Speaker 2: life already. I try not to let those outside, you know, influences,
Speaker 2: negative outside influences, you know, way in on my decisions
Speaker 2: because I don't want to be like him.
Speaker 1: Did he treat you well? Did he? Did he prioritize you?
Speaker 1: And and was he like just a good a good dad?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely, and.
Speaker 1: So but you feel like all the like fucked up
Speaker 1: shift from childhood was truly as a result of them
Speaker 1: being divorced.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because if they were together, I could have went
Speaker 2: to the same school or at least not as many
Speaker 2: schools and made, you know, lifelong friends instead of growing
Speaker 2: up to be in twenty six and now I have
Speaker 2: no friends whatsoever. Just that's why me and my wife
Speaker 2: are up each other's butt for four years, because she
Speaker 2: went to a private Catholic school and I moved around
Speaker 2: so much, so neither me nor her had friends or
Speaker 2: went out and did anything. So they were together, I
Speaker 2: feel like that wouldn't have happened. That I had a
Speaker 2: happier life, more people in my life at this age.
Speaker 3: Hmm hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, outside of wanting your wife back and wanting to
Speaker 1: kind of keep the household glued together, what else do
Speaker 1: you want for your life?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm I'm currently in a job that I get,
Speaker 2: I'm getting a raise.
Speaker 5: I'd like to.
Speaker 2: Learn more about, you know, trees and shrubs. That's what
Speaker 2: I'm a tree shrub specialist, So I really enjoy learning
Speaker 2: more about, you know, the different kinds of diseases and
Speaker 2: insects and stuff like that. So, you know, get a
Speaker 2: good job, and I don't know, I'd like to make
Speaker 2: some friends at some point, but I don't really know
Speaker 2: how to do that because I haven't had any friends
Speaker 2: since school. You know, in school, it's a lot easier
Speaker 2: to make friends with someone you see in your class
Speaker 2: every day. But being an adult, it's kind of like
Speaker 2: where do I go and who do I talk to?
Speaker 2: And you know, do you just walk up to a
Speaker 2: random person like, Hi, how are you, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: What's your name? Can we be friends? Like this seems
Speaker 2: a little weird, you.
Speaker 1: Know, Yeah, that's a that's a whole separate phone call.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I want to.
Speaker 1: But these are I mean, these are good things to
Speaker 1: know because I don't. I don't know. Man, you're in
Speaker 1: a you're in a you're in a very very very
Speaker 1: tricky situation, right, Because here's the thing. If you didn't
Speaker 1: have a kid, the answer would be pretty obvious. But
Speaker 1: you have a kid, and you, you know, want to
Speaker 1: do whatever is best for the kid. And I, by
Speaker 1: the way, and I'm not saying either way, I really,
Speaker 1: I really am not. I'm really not going to pretend
Speaker 1: like I know what's best in this situation. But I
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't automatically agree with the idea that
Speaker 1: you somehow need to put up with people treating you
Speaker 1: poorly and you being in a shitty situation that makes
Speaker 1: you unhappy is going to automatically be the most beneficial
Speaker 1: thing for your kid. I don't automatically agree with that
Speaker 1: stand the idea of making sacrifices for the purpose of
Speaker 1: your kid. But I don't. I don't know necessarily where
Speaker 1: you draw that line, you know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: I and that's the thing, right, and you're and you're
Speaker 1: taking responsibility for it. And that's what's so hard about
Speaker 1: having a kids, because when you do, your life is
Speaker 1: not your life really isn't about yourself anymore. And it
Speaker 1: really is about like how you can, you know, do
Speaker 1: what's most beneficial for your kid, but sometimes it might
Speaker 1: be beneficial for your kid for you to be happy,
Speaker 1: so that your kid doesn't feel like you resent them
Speaker 1: in some way or that you, you know, force yourself
Speaker 1: into into misery for their benefits. And just also so
Speaker 1: I I I, I I if I if you can
Speaker 1: take away anything from this phone call and I and
Speaker 1: I mean this, and I don't want to be sappy.
Speaker 1: It's just what I want to tell you from what
Speaker 1: I'm hearing you talking about. I really think you deserve
Speaker 1: to be happy, and you deserve to go make friends.
Speaker 1: You deserve to not be in a relationship with somebody
Speaker 1: who's treating you poorly. I really do believe that. And
Speaker 1: I I think that you can do all these things
Speaker 1: and still be a good father to your son. I
Speaker 1: don't think that, right. I don't think that they're mutually exclusive,
Speaker 1: and I don't I don't have the answers, but I
Speaker 1: do kind of want to believe that, and I do
Speaker 1: kind of want you to believe that. You know, HM,
Speaker 1: So I mean, that's that's where I've kind of landed
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of somewhether. The advice my mom gave
Speaker 2: me when I told her about all this, she was like,
Speaker 2: you know, if you and her are in a household
Speaker 2: and y'all don't love each other, or y'all aren't you know,
Speaker 2: emotionally connected, that he's he can he can tell that,
Speaker 2: and he would grow up with two parents that are,
Speaker 2: you know, not always on the same page or or
Speaker 2: just together for him, and it could could you know,
Speaker 2: affect him in the end worse than us separating and
Speaker 2: both of us being happy and doing the right thing,
Speaker 2: you know, for our own sake.
Speaker 6: Right right, No, that's that that that that's the issue
Speaker 6: with staying together for the kids, is you stay together
Speaker 6: for the kids, and then both the parents are unhappy,
Speaker 6: and whether you want it to or not, it subconsciously
Speaker 6: seeps its way into the entire family dynamic.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: So, So I mean, that's good that you are thinking
Speaker 1: about that and understand that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and bros.
Speaker 1: Also, you know, I don't know, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: want to I want I want to be careful here
Speaker 1: because I really, I really do submit to the fact
Speaker 1: that I don't I don't know what the best way
Speaker 1: to navigate in life is but ship, What was I
Speaker 1: gonna say? I I have, I have too much, I've
Speaker 1: I was looking at I was I was thinking about
Speaker 1: the Hot Wheels game for Game Boy Advance. That just
Speaker 1: that just intrusively entered into my brain. This is such
Speaker 1: a stupid thing to say. All right, okay, what was
Speaker 1: I gonna say? What was I gonna say? Stay with me?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Okay? Sometimes like just just sometimes it's good enough for
Speaker 1: you to go to bed at night and go Listen,
Speaker 1: things didn't work out due to factors outside of my control.
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to give my son this ideal life
Speaker 1: of a perfect nuclear family that was his mom in
Speaker 1: the same house as me. I fucking tried my god
Speaker 1: damn hardest to be a good father, to do make
Speaker 1: the best choices that I could, but but it just
Speaker 1: didn't work out. Because in fucking life, so not everything
Speaker 1: it's not. It can't be perfect, and you can't control
Speaker 1: other people's actions and reactions, and you can't control what
Speaker 1: your ex wife or wife is going to do, and
Speaker 1: you can't control whether or not these things work out
Speaker 1: as picture perfectly as you want. But you can do
Speaker 1: the best that you can and go to sleep at
Speaker 1: night knowing that you did. Is that helpful?
Speaker 2: And yeah, absolutely, because hopefully, you know, he would grow
Speaker 2: up one day and I would be able to put
Speaker 2: it that way to him. You know, I tried my
Speaker 2: hardest and I really wanted this to work out, and
Speaker 2: you know, I feel like in the end he would
Speaker 2: respect me for that, you know that I did everything
Speaker 2: I could and hopefully he would understand that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just hope you don't make yourself miserable. Man, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's the answer, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I definitely don't want that either. I'm just
Speaker 2: kind of at the moment where I'm I'm kind of
Speaker 2: playing it by ear. I guess you could say, to
Speaker 2: see whether or not she decides that this is what
Speaker 2: she wants, you know, because it doesn't matter how much
Speaker 2: I want this. If she doesn't want it too, then
Speaker 2: if you know, it kind of doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: So is that really what you want?
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, dude, I, like I said, I I
Speaker 2: don't know if it's that I I love her a
Speaker 2: lot and I'm just willing to get back with her,
Speaker 2: or if I'm scared to be alone. You know, I've
Speaker 2: me and her been together for seven years and we've
Speaker 2: always been She's always paid half the rent and yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, always just been there when I come get
Speaker 2: off work. I couldn't imagine getting off work and like
Speaker 2: when she was gone, getting off work and coming home
Speaker 2: to an empty house or you know, anything like that.
Speaker 2: That'd be a heartbreaking.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeahs fucking hard. Hm, Yes, it's fucking hard. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But look, I've said it a bunch of times throughout
Speaker 1: this call, and I'll say it one more. Is that
Speaker 1: you deserve to be with somebody who's appreciative of you
Speaker 1: and respectful of you because you're a good guy. You
Speaker 1: know you really are.
Speaker 3: I thank you.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Oh man, oh jeez, well we've both earned ourselves some
Speaker 1: uh wheels. Game boy advance, let's play videos on YouTube.
Speaker 1: I think after this.
Speaker 2: I might look that up just to find out what
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: No, it's not it's going to ruin your life? What's
Speaker 1: what is?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Taz taz taz? All right? Before we go, is there
Speaker 1: is this just any other aspect of any of this
Speaker 1: that you wanted to talk about, or any way at
Speaker 1: all in which I can be remotely helpful to you,
Speaker 1: or any any words of any other just anything.
Speaker 2: No, man, that's that's what I wanted to call and
Speaker 2: talk to you about. And you, you know, it's really
Speaker 2: nice hearing from uh, someone else's opinion, that isn't you know,
Speaker 2: on drugs, I can trust your opinion more than well
Speaker 2: I can get well.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll say, that's very assumptive of you.
Speaker 2: Well, we need a drugs My mom.
Speaker 3: Does hard drugs.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Well, do you have any final things you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, life's gonna keep knocking you down, but don't let
Speaker 2: it keep you down. Get back up and keep moving,
Speaker 2: try and do what's best for you and in your family.
Speaker 1: If you got one, good fucking luck, Taz, all right,
Speaker 1: good fucking luck and uh God bless you and your family.
Speaker 2: Yep, gek forever take care man Oko.
Speaker 1: Oh jeez. Yeah, that one's tough. That one's tough. I
Speaker 1: just hope he uh makes the decision. Like I've said
Speaker 1: over the course of the phone calls, I hope he
Speaker 1: seems like a nice guy. I don't have like I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't have enough. I couldn't I couldn't be responsible
Speaker 1: to a child right now. I really couldn't. I and
Speaker 1: I respect the fact that he can, that he really
Speaker 1: isn't isn't like pussy footing around the whole thing. He's
Speaker 1: really doing it, and I respect that a lot, and
Speaker 1: I I don't. I don't. I don't think it's going
Speaker 1: to be easier or better with him being miserable and
Speaker 1: the whole thing about like, is it better to be
Speaker 1: alone or with somebody who you don't think you can trust?
Speaker 1: Of course, like, all right, the answer that the answer
Speaker 1: that's obvious, right is better to be alone, But it's
Speaker 1: not so obvious in practice. It's it's obvious to say,
Speaker 1: but it's hard, man, it's hard being alone. It's hard
Speaker 1: to trying to meet new people. It's hard trying to
Speaker 1: make new friends, new romantic partners, and sometimes it's it's
Speaker 1: easier to just be in some shitty thing. But it's
Speaker 1: probably it's probably worth giving it a shot. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it's probably worth giving it a shot. What else
Speaker 1: are you gonna do? What else are you gonna do
Speaker 1: besides giving a shot? What else are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just a fucking gecko. Hey, folks,
Speaker 1: this is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that
Speaker 1: I am going back on tour in twenty twenty four
Speaker 1: to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country. If
Speaker 1: you've never been to one of my live shows before,
Speaker 1: they're basically like giant Group Gecko therapy sessions where people
Speaker 1: from the audience come on stage to talk to a
Speaker 1: Gecko about whatever they want, just like we do right
Speaker 1: here on the podcast. Plus I mix in a few
Speaker 1: stories and presentations and little tidbits from my own life.
Speaker 1: Tickets are available right now at Therapy geckotour dot com
Speaker 1: or you can find the link in the episode description.
Speaker 1: I'm announcing many more city in the second half of
Speaker 1: the year, but right now tickets are on sale. Four Phoenix, Arizona, Louisville, Kentucky,
Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Orlando, Florida, Tampa, Florida, Miami, Florida, Boston, Massachusetts, Denver, Colorado, Syracuse,
Speaker 1: New York, Albany, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, Las Vegas, Nevada,
Speaker 1: Salt Lake City, Utah, Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: San Jose, California, San Francisco, California, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington,
Speaker 1: and you can get tickets for all of those cities
Speaker 1: at therapygeckotour dot com. If you didn't hear me say
Speaker 1: your city, you can still go to the link and
Speaker 1: hit the RSVP button to get notified for when I
Speaker 1: do come to your city in the second half of
Speaker 1: the year. This is my third tour so far, and
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be sick, so I hope
Speaker 1: to see you there. Thanks.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 7: Hi.
Speaker 1: What's your name, sir?
Speaker 3: My name is Seamus.
Speaker 1: Sir Seamus. What's going on, Seamus? How's life?
Speaker 3: So I'm getting really into well, I've been really into
Speaker 3: them the past year. So I bought this fucking huge
Speaker 3: ass vehicle with my partner and uh it used to
Speaker 3: be we got it on discounts because we bought it
Speaker 3: from a skating company that was like not having very
Speaker 3: much business, and so we've been cleaning it up. Some
Speaker 3: gnarly shit in it, like a ship ton of gold
Speaker 3: underneath the seats, and uh, a bunch of snacks that
Speaker 3: looks like they've been in there for like ever, and
Speaker 3: some guy's phone like a whole iPhone.
Speaker 1: Like how surprised you are that you found a lot
Speaker 1: of gross mold and food in a old van that
Speaker 1: you bought.
Speaker 3: Well, it's only it's only a twenty eleven sprinter, So
Speaker 3: like I wasn't and like we've been like taking it
Speaker 3: out a few times, and like we've already done a
Speaker 3: lot of work on it. You know, we bought it
Speaker 3: around Halloween. So I was just shocked that we only
Speaker 3: discovered how much moltivism this thing.
Speaker 1: Like last week, I'm gonna skip to the thing that
Speaker 1: you texted me specifically about. You said you found an
Speaker 1: iPhone in this van and yeah, yeah, and it works,
Speaker 1: and you said you found out. You said you found
Speaker 1: out who the owner is. But quote and don't. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna you said, quote, I want to make the most
Speaker 1: of this discovery before I offer to send it back
Speaker 1: to him. Like ideally I want to do something funny,
Speaker 1: but I dky what yet, what do you want to
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 4: Poor?
Speaker 3: I phone said that when I said that, I didn't
Speaker 3: mean anything unethical. It's like I don't think or really
Speaker 3: care if I have access any of like financial stuff
Speaker 3: or personal stuff. But like let me put it in
Speaker 3: perspective for you, Like we found okay, so it's like
Speaker 3: the last time this thing was turned on was twenty fifteen,
Speaker 3: and uh, it's got old the old Instagram app like
Speaker 3: it's got fucking it has Flatpybird on it.
Speaker 1: Okay, by the way, iPhones with Flappybird on them actually
Speaker 1: sell for a lot of money if you want to.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're gonna you're gonna take a picture of
Speaker 1: your cock and make it the wallpaper and then give
Speaker 1: it back to him.
Speaker 3: I think he would probably sign that funny, But I'm
Speaker 3: not going to do that because the lea legal What
Speaker 3: is it?
Speaker 1: What is it about the In the limited information you
Speaker 1: have about this man, how did you come to the
Speaker 1: conclusion that he would find that funny?
Speaker 3: Okay? I mean, like it's not like I, me and
Speaker 3: my partner like looked around for specific stuff on his phone,
Speaker 3: but like just scrolling through his photos, like he took
Speaker 3: like news, like just news with his friends, Like there's
Speaker 3: a picture of some guy's ass on it.
Speaker 1: Listen. Can I just say something to you? And but
Speaker 1: this is not a judgment on you, Okay, Okay, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's really not because I would do the same thing
Speaker 1: if I found an old fucking iPhone because I'm nosy
Speaker 1: and curious. I would do the same. Not a judgment,
Speaker 1: This is not a judgment. But if you're gonna go
Speaker 1: through the guy's photos and his life and his thing,
Speaker 1: just stop being holy about it. You're just you're doing it.
Speaker 1: It's fine, but just stop. We're just stop being like,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna do anything on ethical. We're just gonna
Speaker 1: go through his photos and his back Just it's okay. Again,
Speaker 1: it's not just just do it, don't. You don't have
Speaker 1: to be like cool about it.
Speaker 3: When I say I'm not gonna do anything on ethical,
Speaker 3: I mean like I'm not gonna like rob the guy
Speaker 3: and send or like send all of his money to
Speaker 3: like a big Point account or something.
Speaker 1: Okay. Anyway, all right, so you were looking at pictures
Speaker 1: of this guy's penis on his phone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, his ass, Yeah, and no, it's really interesting. So
Speaker 3: like he's We had no idea who this guy was.
Speaker 3: He had nothing to do with the skateboarding company that
Speaker 3: he that we beught it from, but I'm assuming that
Speaker 3: he was at one of their events because like we
Speaker 3: found his license in the car too, which is just
Speaker 3: really weird. Anyway, we looked him up on Instagram by
Speaker 3: like finding out what his like print, like like looking
Speaker 3: up what his past accounts were, and like I just
Speaker 3: found him tagged in a post and he's been posting
Speaker 3: like car and skateboard content for like the past ten
Speaker 3: or fifteen years, so like, yeah, it's like definitely the
Speaker 3: same guy. And I looked at a video from like
Speaker 3: nine years ago on his account and there's a video
Speaker 3: where like the same then that we have today is
Speaker 3: in it and it's crazy nice man.
Speaker 1: So I mean, so this guy's not dead.
Speaker 3: No, he's very hes he's alive and he's h he
Speaker 3: definitely lives in California and who knows. Yeah, And I
Speaker 3: just figured you out. If I was this guy, like
Speaker 3: I would totally want a phone that I had like
Speaker 3: ten years ago. God only knows how he lost it
Speaker 3: on airplane mode like in the van.
Speaker 1: But yeah, uh, when you hand it back to him,
Speaker 1: are you going to tell him that he has a
Speaker 1: nice penis that you saw on his phone photos?
Speaker 3: I should totally him that.
Speaker 4: Yeah I know that.
Speaker 3: Oh shit. Yeah that's another weird thing is like you
Speaker 3: know it was at a pattery when we found it,
Speaker 3: we plugged it in. It was crazy that at work
Speaker 3: because the screen is fucking shattered and there was no
Speaker 3: password or anything on it. So just like for future reference,
Speaker 3: like always keep a password on your phone or else
Speaker 3: some rando, we'll find it ten years later.
Speaker 1: And I always keep a pass on your phone or else.
Speaker 1: Some weird guy might look through your.
Speaker 3: Yeah, some weird guy. Yeah, and then you'll call a
Speaker 3: get go about it and like tell the whole world.
Speaker 1: So so I still want to we have to address this.
Speaker 1: You claim that you want to do something funny with
Speaker 1: the phone before you give it back. What what if?
Speaker 4: What if?
Speaker 1: What are some of your ideas for this funny thing
Speaker 1: you want to do?
Speaker 3: I was hoping you would have it is to be honest,
Speaker 3: but I.
Speaker 1: Have no ideas at all. Something funny, something, Ok, all right,
Speaker 1: I got one go into his voice memos and record
Speaker 1: a fart, make make all the ring tones farts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's kind of like myself farting into the mic
Speaker 3: like with my voice, and I'll change it to like
Speaker 3: I'll record a different part for everybody who calls them.
Speaker 3: I think that would be smart.
Speaker 1: Do you have a job do you have? Like, what
Speaker 1: do you do all day?
Speaker 3: I'm doing the job right now. Yeah, I work in accounting.
Speaker 1: That's cool. So how's the van life?
Speaker 3: The van life? You haven't got to that yet, I
Speaker 3: mean like, oh, what is the van like? Is that
Speaker 3: what you said? No?
Speaker 1: What how is van life for you? How is it going?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: I'm not I am not doing that yet. My lease
Speaker 3: is going to be up in like November this year though,
Speaker 3: and you know it's been it would be pretty hard
Speaker 3: to live in event, considering the old situation up until
Speaker 3: this weekend. Anyways, that yeah, I am. I currently live
Speaker 3: in a pm W and I'm hoping just like travel
Speaker 3: around you, you.
Speaker 1: Live in a BMW.
Speaker 3: No in the p m W and that's just the Northwest.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm done, Okay, I thought, okay, it's definitely this
Speaker 1: has this has this has PNW energy written all over it.
Speaker 1: That's that's kind of where.
Speaker 3: The oh my god, ship, you're right is a thing.
Speaker 1: So when are you When are you expecting to get
Speaker 1: all the molds out of there or you're gonna get
Speaker 1: rid of it? Sounds like you're sentimental about it by now.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I I mean like I I kissed them
Speaker 3: all goodbye first before I blew it away and vacuumed it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know so this. Yeah, No, the most
Speaker 3: is all out. It's just like I got to build
Speaker 3: this thing. Now. It's kind of scary because I got
Speaker 3: to like cut a hole on the feeling to put
Speaker 3: a ventilation fan in, and like there's just a lot
Speaker 3: of like handyman type work you gotta do to do
Speaker 3: this thing, and I have never done it in my life.
Speaker 1: M Well, what, how's your partner? What does your partner have?
Speaker 1: Any ideas of how you can uh fuck with this
Speaker 1: poor guy who left his life in your hands?
Speaker 3: No, I'm fortunately does she knows?
Speaker 1: Does she even know about this?
Speaker 3: No, she knows about it. She absolutely does. I actually
Speaker 3: told her, like, don't message a guy yet, because I
Speaker 3: want to know if like the therapy get go or
Speaker 3: the people of the get nation heavy, any ideas of
Speaker 3: what to do with with with the four Man's device.
Speaker 1: What's your partner's deal? What's she do? Or he?
Speaker 3: She works in an office?
Speaker 4: She?
Speaker 3: You know the most destiny, I just clerical work. But
Speaker 3: it was kind of her idea to do the them
Speaker 3: lifetime Do.
Speaker 1: Straight is partner? Do straight people do partner? What's what's
Speaker 1: what's the deal with? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, yeah, well at least like I do because like
Speaker 3: because the same girlfriend or a boyfriend forever just sounds
Speaker 3: like really like childish to me. So like, you know,
Speaker 3: it's like I'm not at the stage where we're like married,
Speaker 3: but I feel like partner is just a better word.
Speaker 1: What happened to significant other?
Speaker 3: That's too many syllables?
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, I guess all right, So yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: legitimate argument. Sure, I feel that. Yeah, I guess you don't.
Speaker 1: How old are you? I'm twenty three, you're twenty you're
Speaker 1: twenty three. Yeah, you can have a you can have
Speaker 1: a girlfriend at twenty three.
Speaker 3: No, No, I mean yeah, I mean I kind of
Speaker 3: flip back and forth the stream color or my old
Speaker 3: friend of my partner were living together.
Speaker 1: All right, that's fair. I'm sorry. I don't know why.
Speaker 3: I'm no, that's okay.
Speaker 1: I have no reason to go.
Speaker 7: You may do you feel bad because if it was
Speaker 7: your phone, you would just like I want to want it.
Speaker 3: Like them back to you, with all the asked pictures
Speaker 3: and everything.
Speaker 1: Well, if it was my phone, that would be bad.
Speaker 3: Good thing you have a password.
Speaker 1: What's your name again?
Speaker 3: My name is Seamus.
Speaker 1: Seamus. Is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 3: No, wait, but I did want to ask you a question,
Speaker 3: just a real quick question before before I go. Where
Speaker 3: are you from?
Speaker 1: Where am I from? I feel like you're trying to
Speaker 1: hack into my bank account. I don't trust you.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, But.
Speaker 3: Like my main question is, like, are you from Chicago?
Speaker 1: Why do you want to know if I'm from Chicago?
Speaker 3: I want to to ask. I don't know what your
Speaker 3: what accent you have, but like I wanted to ask
Speaker 3: if you put ketchup on your hot dogs? That's all?
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I put ketchups on my hot catch
Speaker 1: up on my hot dog?
Speaker 3: Oh thank god? Yeah? Okay, Ty, what do you now?
Speaker 1: I feel like you're using that information for something?
Speaker 7: No, I'm not.
Speaker 3: Do you want me to.
Speaker 1: You know what? Yes, I do want you to. I
Speaker 1: want you to use that information for something. I want
Speaker 1: you to find a way to use the information that
Speaker 1: I put ketchup on my hot dogs for something positive.
Speaker 1: Not don't use it to hurt I.
Speaker 3: Will use it to make the world a better.
Speaker 1: Place, honestly, Honestly, if you can find a way to
Speaker 1: use the information that I like ketchup on my hot
Speaker 1: dogs to hurt someone, do that. No, I can't my
Speaker 1: imagination maybe your imagination.
Speaker 3: Is My imagination isn't good. I couldn't even I couldn't
Speaker 3: even figure out something funny to do with the guy's though.
Speaker 3: Now I got to report these parts.
Speaker 1: No, I'm still here. I'm just thinking, all right, well
Speaker 1: you're who I now think everyone in Portland is okay?
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: No? Do you have a good day to get go?
Speaker 1: Hey? You two man, take care? Say hello? Say hello
Speaker 1: to the phone guy for me.
Speaker 4: I will I will later. Hello. Hello, Oh my god,
Speaker 4: this is the gek this one?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Who is this?
Speaker 4: Oh? My name is Darius.
Speaker 1: Darius. How's it going, Darius?
Speaker 4: I am amazing right now? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm okay, I'm hanging in there. What's what's going on
Speaker 1: with you? Darius?
Speaker 4: You know Mark's just in the middle of I guess
Speaker 4: I just finished washing my face. But yeah, I mean,
Speaker 4: I guess you can talk about what I texted in
Speaker 4: about all right? So, uh, how do I start? Okay?
Speaker 4: So I don't know. This is like two issues ago.
Speaker 4: I was seeing this girl, and I had been seeing
Speaker 4: her for like two weeks or so. You know. And
Speaker 4: then one night I came over and then she had
Speaker 4: to leave for work, and so I stayed and slept,
Speaker 4: you know, just didn't get up, and then I wake
Speaker 4: up like I ended up going to a vacuum in
Speaker 4: my dream, which you know is the trap as always,
Speaker 4: but so I did that and I woke up and
Speaker 4: I was like, oh shit, you know, I just pissed
Speaker 4: the bag and so yeah, sorry, this is really cool.
Speaker 4: Away I woke up and then I'm like, shit, what
Speaker 4: am I gonna do? Because this is like fucking weird.
Speaker 4: Like two weeks then I didn't piste the bed since
Speaker 4: I was like twelve, and then so I I just
Speaker 4: grabbed your sheets and like was like, hey, I spilled
Speaker 4: orange juice on your sheets.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 4: Because I always had a bottle of orange juice on
Speaker 4: me around that time for some reason. But anyways, I
Speaker 4: was like, hey, I spilled orange juice on your sheets
Speaker 4: for me and take them and wash them. And she's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: you don't have to do that. I was like, no,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna do that. You know, it's a
Speaker 4: I feel bad if I don't take care of it.
Speaker 4: And then so she's like okay, and so this happened,
Speaker 4: I got her sheets back to whatever. And then so, yeah,
Speaker 4: two weeks so.
Speaker 1: You pissed it, pissed a girl's bed, yes, okay, And
Speaker 1: what how did she respond to that?
Speaker 4: She well, she didn't like know at first, and then
Speaker 4: like two weeks later she made like a comment, like
Speaker 4: a joking comment like that somehow related to that. She's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: like what if you kissed my bed or whatever? And
Speaker 4: then so like I thought I had gotten away with it,
Speaker 4: and then so like I had this nervous look on
Speaker 4: my face and kind of hesitated, and then she was
Speaker 4: like you did not, like did you actually? And then
Speaker 4: I kind of fessed up to it. So I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: like I kissed your bed, but I took care of it,
Speaker 4: so it's like it's all good.
Speaker 1: And yeah, what did she say?
Speaker 4: What did she say? It was so long ago. She laughed,
Speaker 4: which is a valid response, and she's like, you're kidding,
Speaker 4: and I was like I wish I was. This is
Speaker 4: really embarrassing. And then yeah, hell.
Speaker 1: How long did you continue to date her after this?
Speaker 4: We're still dating now, so I mean.
Speaker 1: Well, fucking Jesus, all right, you know, see that's not.
Speaker 1: That's really like what you want out of a relationship,
Speaker 1: I think is somebody who you can piss their bed.
Speaker 1: Some people like it when you pissed that. Some people
Speaker 1: like it when you pee on their face. Actually, there's
Speaker 1: a whole website of people who who are like trying
Speaker 1: to find somebody to do that to them. All right,
Speaker 1: so you're still dating this you okay? Because you teed
Speaker 1: this ship up like it was your you know, it
Speaker 1: was it, it was this was just some girl. This
Speaker 1: is You've been dating this girl for two years. That's
Speaker 1: pretty great. How many more times than the two years
Speaker 1: have you pissed her bed?
Speaker 4: There's one? Well, there's one night I almost feed my bed.
Speaker 4: They drank way too much water, and then it was
Speaker 4: just like leaking. But that didn't really count. I guess, uh,
Speaker 4: it almost happened. I think it almost happened one more time.
Speaker 1: Since then, tell me about that. Wait, so, so uh uh,
Speaker 1: how's the relationship going? Is it going good?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: It's really good, i'd.
Speaker 1: Say, Okay, has she ever pissed the bed?
Speaker 4: No? She almost shouted one time, though.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, how would you react if she shouted?
Speaker 4: I thought it was funny. I was really hoping she did,
Speaker 4: because like she tried to fart and then she like
Speaker 4: jumped up out of the bed. It's like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I gotta go to the packing I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: no way, did you just shart? And she hears a
Speaker 4: brand ran out of the room.
Speaker 3: M m m.
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, that's a good sign of a relationship,
Speaker 1: is one where you can you guys can piss and
Speaker 1: ship all over each other. And I mean that I'm
Speaker 1: not even saying that in jest. I think the tell, well, uh,
Speaker 1: what else is going on?
Speaker 4: Not much looking for a new job.
Speaker 1: But you know, there's a sense of comfortability in that.
Speaker 1: There's a sense of comfortability in that, like having having
Speaker 1: do you do you guys ever go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: with each other? Does she ever like sit on your
Speaker 1: lap while you while you take a ship.
Speaker 4: I've tried to convince her to let me like tee
Speaker 4: while she's peeing, but she won't go for that.
Speaker 1: Like it's hard to it's kind of hard to cross
Speaker 1: streams with a chick. Yeah, because I like a man
Speaker 1: and a woman crossing streams. I feel like that's that
Speaker 1: woman would have to be in quite a h an
Speaker 1: uncomfortable position.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was thinking, like, she's just sitting on the
Speaker 4: toilet and then like kind of like man spreads a
Speaker 4: little bit and I.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh, okay, actually that's kind of interesting. Okay, so
Speaker 1: she sits, you stand, and she leaves. There's like a
Speaker 1: a but you have to have a very precise aim
Speaker 1: or else you're just gonna like start peeking under her
Speaker 1: vagina exactly. That's cool though. Man, that's a fun date idea.
Speaker 1: Next time, next time I google, Next time I google,
Speaker 1: next time I google. Exciting date ideas in New York.
Speaker 1: I want to see pissing on each other on the list.
Speaker 4: That I hope so too. I hope we can make
Speaker 4: that happen.
Speaker 1: What's your name again, sir? It is Darius Darius Jarres.
Speaker 1: How did you feel about this phone call? Do you
Speaker 1: have any I want to start doing like you know
Speaker 1: how you do a customer service line and then they're like,
Speaker 1: stay on the phone for a survey. I'm going to
Speaker 1: start doing that, but just it's on the actual the
Speaker 1: person who gave you customer service just asks you, and
Speaker 1: so you can't you have to lie to them and
Speaker 1: say it was good. What what would you any pointers?
Speaker 1: Any thoughts feeling sentiments, no goad feedback.
Speaker 3: No, it was great.
Speaker 4: I mean I was a little shook up because I
Speaker 4: wasn't expecting the call, but yeah, I mean it was great.
Speaker 4: I have no no pointers that I can think of
Speaker 4: it least.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Darius, you seems like a nice guy. I'm
Speaker 1: glad that your relationship's working out, and you know, I'm
Speaker 1: excited for your wedding day where you can really just
Speaker 1: consummate that marriage with a uh just eating her ship
Speaker 1: full on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll try to make We'll try to make something
Speaker 4: wild happen that day.
Speaker 1: Take Darius, you two. Hello, Hi, what's your name?
Speaker 5: Hey? My name is Miranda.
Speaker 1: How old are you? Miranda?
Speaker 5: I am twenty eight.
Speaker 1: How's life?
Speaker 5: You know, it's going pretty good. I feel like I'm
Speaker 5: doing a lot for my age, though I guess in
Speaker 5: kind of like weird ways. I guess, like a little
Speaker 5: background story. So I told you that. Like, so I
Speaker 5: got into playing stems recently. It's a big thing right now,
Speaker 5: right so, uh, I usually do that when I'm high,
Speaker 5: but I recently stopped doing PhD just like personal reasons.
Speaker 5: I'd feel like my sleep's not is great. I feel
Speaker 5: like I can't like function as well, you know, like
Speaker 5: you know, all the all the things that go along
Speaker 5: with that, right, Yeah. But yeah, So basically like me
Speaker 5: and my husband we both have like a don't jobs,
Speaker 5: and we bought a house and he's a manager. I'm
Speaker 5: like in charge of people, and we're both like twenty eight,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I feel like, sometimes I wish I
Speaker 5: could just like slow down, you know, have like a
Speaker 5: normal life, normal things to worry about, you.
Speaker 4: Know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm confused. You say that you all right, you're married,
Speaker 1: that's great, you have a job, that's great. What about
Speaker 1: your life do you feel to be so abnormal?
Speaker 5: I guess like I just wish that, like sometimes like
Speaker 5: we could just slowed down and like, you know, enjoyed
Speaker 5: our twenties a little bit because we both just like
Speaker 5: graduated college and just kind of like hit the ground
Speaker 5: running and we were like, okay, what else, what else?
Speaker 3: What else?
Speaker 5: What else? You know what I mean? So like we've
Speaker 5: just been like checking off all these boxes and not
Speaker 5: really like taking time to like slow down and like
Speaker 5: enjoy our twenties before kids and all of the things,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. So it feels like we've
Speaker 5: kind of almost wasted that time that we had.
Speaker 1: Do you have kids?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: Not yet?
Speaker 1: Oh well then what go to quit your jobs and
Speaker 1: move to Thailand? Who gives a fucking ship?
Speaker 4: What do you?
Speaker 3: What do you?
Speaker 5: What do you?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, so I mean I mean yeah, I mean no,
Speaker 1: you don't you're not. Yeah, if you don't have kids,
Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want kind of. If you
Speaker 1: don't have kids, you can do whatever. I mean you
Speaker 1: some people abandon their kids, which I mean you can.
Speaker 1: You can do that. That's an option available to you
Speaker 1: as a human being. But some people think that that's
Speaker 1: not cool, and they have a legitimate argument when they
Speaker 1: say that. But you can do it. What was I
Speaker 1: going to say? Just now, it's going to say something?
Speaker 1: Don't wait? Okay you said you get specific with meha, Miranda,
Speaker 1: What exactly do you want to do? Because I understand
Speaker 1: the idea of like a vague longing, right, but the
Speaker 1: mo if you, if you uh, swat away the fog
Speaker 1: of that vague longing, maybe you'll find a specific thing
Speaker 1: that you want to do, and maybe after that you'll realize, oh,
Speaker 1: I actually can do this, you know, so, so wipe
Speaker 1: away the smoke for me here real quick, what's what's
Speaker 1: the What are some actual things you want to do
Speaker 1: that you feel like you cannot do well.
Speaker 5: I guess like my biggest thing is I just like
Speaker 5: I guess like I just feel all these outside pressures
Speaker 5: from like family and friends. So like that's kind of
Speaker 5: what I mean about like putting life into perspective, and
Speaker 5: I feel like we kind of like wasted the time
Speaker 5: that we had like in our earlier twenties, like not
Speaker 5: traveling and like just saving money and like being super
Speaker 5: cautious about everything all the time, versus like you know,
Speaker 5: quitting our jobs and moving to a city and enjoying
Speaker 5: life of meeting people and creating our own like kind
Speaker 5: of way. We just both kind of fell into that
Speaker 5: cookie cutter like graduate college, be successful, get a house,
Speaker 5: start a family. But like now that we've graduated college
Speaker 5: and we've got a house, like now our family is
Speaker 5: kind of like pressuring that like whole like, Okay, when
Speaker 5: are you gonna start?
Speaker 1: Like you're like your like your parents.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, like just.
Speaker 1: Off man, you're hold on, hold on. I look, I
Speaker 1: get everyone has different relationships with their family, but like, dude,
Speaker 1: you have you have money, right, you have a job,
Speaker 1: you have money. You sound like you have an adult
Speaker 1: job that pays you adult money.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So like that's the hard part is like it
Speaker 5: kind of goes beyond like just our parents too, because
Speaker 5: like you do your parents parents?
Speaker 1: Do your parents give you money? Still?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: No, Okay, listen, if.
Speaker 1: You listen, if you pay your water bill, If you
Speaker 1: pay your water bill, you can tell your mom to
Speaker 1: go fuck yourself. That's that's what being an adult is.
Speaker 5: Yeah, No, I get you. That's kind of what we're
Speaker 5: That's kind of what we've been doing, uh, is just
Speaker 5: like hey, like we're not we don't even think we
Speaker 5: want to do that, Like we'll do it on our
Speaker 5: own terms type thing. But like it's just kind of
Speaker 5: increasingly getting harder to like make friends as well, especially
Speaker 5: like going because like my husband will be thirty this
Speaker 5: year and I'll be twenty nine this year. Right, So,
Speaker 5: like a lot of our friends, especially friends that we
Speaker 5: meet like in our community, have kids, like around our age,
Speaker 5: Like well the people are around our age and they're
Speaker 5: starting families and they're starting.
Speaker 8: To have kids.
Speaker 5: And then it's almost like they get offended if we say,
Speaker 5: like that's great, you're having kids, and like I'll buy
Speaker 5: your kid a birthday president. But like I really think
Speaker 5: that's something that I want to do, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean, Like, it's just becoming increasingly harder to like
Speaker 5: meet people and make friendships like where we're currently at.
Speaker 3: Yeah, does that make sense?
Speaker 1: And of course, yeah, definitely makes sense. So it's something
Speaker 1: I struggle with. I'm trying to figure out how to
Speaker 1: make more community in my life. It used to be
Speaker 1: easy and now it feels like it requires a lot
Speaker 1: more thought at ten. But I mean, okay, but you're
Speaker 1: but I guess Miranda, like we're you just took me
Speaker 1: through five different conundrums, so let's start with I mean,
Speaker 1: let's just do this one. Right. Is like the like
Speaker 1: pressure from your parents, I mean, you you see, you
Speaker 1: sound like a smart person, and so you're aware that
Speaker 1: your parents, like You're like, you're aware you were the
Speaker 1: only you and your husband are the only one that
Speaker 1: have to live your lives right, right, And so who
Speaker 1: gives any amount of a fuck about the opinion of
Speaker 1: any other person that doesn't have to live your life.
Speaker 5: Right? I mean, I guess it just comes from like
Speaker 5: a place of like I've always been like just such
Speaker 5: a people pleaser, and so it's kind of what I
Speaker 5: mean about like just kind of putting like time into
Speaker 5: perspective with your life. Like I know, I keep saying
Speaker 5: approach and thirty and like I've you.
Speaker 6: Know one day state.
Speaker 1: Just just just just stay stay on this particular topic
Speaker 1: with me, because now we're talking about getting older and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about like like like there's okay, there's pressure
Speaker 1: and influence from like people and then specific people like
Speaker 1: your family, and there's like pressure and influence from what
Speaker 1: is generally societally accepted as the normal life of a
Speaker 1: certain people of a certain age. Right, So I mean,
Speaker 1: just stay with me real quick on the family side
Speaker 1: of things. What what what's the block there?
Speaker 8: I guess like.
Speaker 5: Just because I've always been like I've always been like
Speaker 5: a goodie two shoes with like my family, and I've
Speaker 5: always done like what they want me to do, and
Speaker 5: so like me standing up for myself and like what
Speaker 5: I want for my life, it like obviously upsets them,
Speaker 5: which again I'm learning to not care. But it's like
Speaker 5: one of those things where I've just I've never done
Speaker 5: that before, so it's uncomfortable to be like, hey, actually
Speaker 5: that's not what I want and I have to like
Speaker 5: be okay with that backlash. Does that make sense?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there's no there's no magical spell
Speaker 1: that I can put upon you to give you the
Speaker 1: courage to be okay with that backlash, But I I
Speaker 1: think it is. It is a worthy thing to learn
Speaker 1: how to deal with, for sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: All right, So there's that, and then there's like we
Speaker 1: talked about the just general societal pressure for your life
Speaker 1: to be a certain way at certain ages, which is legitimate.
Speaker 1: Is a legitimate form of pressure. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: all these are legitimate, but yeah, it's something that everyone
Speaker 1: fucking thinks about. But again, but it all comes back
Speaker 1: to the fact that nobody, you know, in the comparatively
Speaker 1: to like the sun and stuff. We're all little little babies,
Speaker 1: right So at the end of the day, society doesn't
Speaker 1: have do you know, at the end of the day
Speaker 1: one it has to live your life? So what what
Speaker 1: kind of what kind of life do you want to live?
Speaker 1: You want to travel? What do you want to travel to? Right? Like,
Speaker 1: like some of these things like that there you get
Speaker 1: you can just find yourself crushed under the weight of
Speaker 1: this horrible, ambiguous uh bolder I was trying to think.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say rock but by the bolder, better,
Speaker 1: bolder of societal expectations and oh, I want to do
Speaker 1: that and just vague feelings. But you can actually attack
Speaker 1: some of those vague feelings by trying to travel a
Speaker 1: little bit more if you can figure it out. With
Speaker 1: your job. You do you work remote? What do you do?
Speaker 5: Yeah? So I work from home full time. So that's
Speaker 5: like another positive. So that was like one thing I
Speaker 5: changed a couple of years ago. My previous office was
Speaker 5: talking about going back and I was like, I really
Speaker 5: don't want to do that because I feel like I
Speaker 5: get way more like out of my afternoons and my
Speaker 5: weekends because I can do chores while on a work
Speaker 5: or do things like this well while at work. Don't
Speaker 5: tell my boss that, but you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 5: I just I feel like I can stay on top
Speaker 5: of like the mundane things, and then I can enjoy
Speaker 5: the time that I have when I'm not working.
Speaker 1: So what are the mundane things like, you know.
Speaker 5: Like laundry dishes, like all the things that we all do,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean, like keeping up with wiping
Speaker 5: down the kitchen countertops and unloading the dishwasher, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean, Like go into the gym a couple
Speaker 5: of times a week, like that sort of stuff.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: One of the sacrifices I've learned this through touring and
Speaker 1: trying to travel a lot of my own personal life.
Speaker 1: One of the sacrifices of trying to travel more is
Speaker 1: that you.
Speaker 4: H.
Speaker 1: You gotta be okay with doing a little bit less
Speaker 1: laundry then maybe is socially acceptable. Yeah, you get what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I mean, maybe you wear maybe you wear
Speaker 1: the same pair of underwear maybe four times in a
Speaker 1: row is egregious. I've done that before, but uh, you know,
Speaker 1: a few days.
Speaker 5: In a row, right, Yeah, yeah, I mean that is
Speaker 5: like one thing we're like hoping to, you know, change
Speaker 5: in the upcoming year. Like we both renewed our passports
Speaker 5: and we booked a trip to Japan and a trip
Speaker 5: to Europe.
Speaker 1: Wonderful.
Speaker 2: So, like you've both.
Speaker 5: Never been out of the country though, So it's gonna
Speaker 5: be a little bit of a shock, I'm afraid. But
Speaker 5: I mean, like I said, we're both always too careful,
Speaker 5: So I feel like it'll be good for us to
Speaker 5: kind of like step out and just go explore and
Speaker 5: check out what you know, what other places how to
Speaker 5: offer you know, No.
Speaker 1: That's gonna be awesome. No, it's you're already doing it.
Speaker 1: You don't need a get go to tell you how
Speaker 1: to live your fucking.
Speaker 5: We're trying it. We're doing our best. But yeah, it's
Speaker 5: just like I don't know, it's just been something I've
Speaker 5: been like sitting with a lot recently. It's just like,
Speaker 5: how do you not you like specifically, but just like
Speaker 5: how does a person, like a young person like fight
Speaker 5: those expectations. I mean it's not it's not that it
Speaker 5: weighs on me like twenty four to seven, but you
Speaker 5: know what I mean whenever I go to Thanksgiving and
Speaker 5: everyone's like, oh, you're married and you have a house
Speaker 5: and you do have a good job, so like why
Speaker 5: do you not want kids? And then you have to
Speaker 5: like explain it to them and then they still don't
Speaker 5: understand because obviously they're boomers and that's just the way
Speaker 5: that they were raised is get married, have kids, start
Speaker 5: a family.
Speaker 1: But it's just like you should you take advance. I
Speaker 1: think that you should take advant everything that you've have
Speaker 1: going for you in your life generationally, even like take
Speaker 1: advantage of it. Right, You're still young, you don't have
Speaker 1: any kids, you work from home, fucking hack it, you know. Go,
Speaker 1: I mean, you're I don't even you don't even need
Speaker 1: me to. It's a motivational speech you because you're already
Speaker 1: doing it. You already have the plane tickets booked in
Speaker 1: the passport and all that stuff. So I mean it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're doing what you want to do. So
Speaker 1: that's that's pretty great.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just a matter of like, like I said,
Speaker 5: like I'm just like a recovering people pleaser, which I'm
Speaker 5: sure a lot of people can relate to. So it's
Speaker 5: just it's like I'm doing all these things, but at
Speaker 5: the same time, like I feel kind of like not
Speaker 5: selfish about it, but you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 5: I'm just like should I be doing something else? Like
Speaker 5: I don't think I should be, But at the same time,
Speaker 5: like I overthink it sometimes. So it's just like my
Speaker 5: thing is like I just don't want to waste time,
Speaker 5: like you know, especially like in your younger years. And
Speaker 5: I don't know, I just like I think about the
Speaker 5: big picture a little too much instead of like just
Speaker 5: impulsively living life. Does that make sense.
Speaker 1: It does. It does, but I don't know why. My takeaway,
Speaker 1: I don't know why my take away from this phone
Speaker 1: call is that you should do the dishes less. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's not. Maybe I'm just projecting because I want to
Speaker 1: feel less bad about all the paper plates have been
Speaker 1: using lately.
Speaker 5: I was actually loading the dishwasher when you called, so
Speaker 5: maybe I'll just wait, Miranda.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: No, I mean not really. I just make sure, like
Speaker 5: the friendships and stuff that you have like count if
Speaker 5: they're not productive, you know, there's no sense in maintaining those,
Speaker 5: and find people that align with your values.
Speaker 1: You know, have a good rest of the night. I
Speaker 1: wish you good luck on your journey. Have fun in
Speaker 1: Japan and Europe. Those are great places, and well, for sure, enjoy.
Speaker 1: We first started talking about this because of the SIM right, Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know why that like really triggered it,
Speaker 5: But I just got really stressed, like playing the SIMS
Speaker 5: and I was like, oh my god, there's not enough
Speaker 5: time in the day. And then I got to chase
Speaker 5: these kids to like do their homework, and they're failing
Speaker 5: school now. Because I'm too busy with like everything I'm
Speaker 5: doing or one so I'm like whoa, whoa, wait a second.
Speaker 5: So I don't know. I was just I got way
Speaker 5: too high one day and I was playing it and
Speaker 5: it just like all clicked for some reason. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 5: it was just so yeah, play it, you know.
Speaker 1: Have a night, Miranda, thank you? Yeah, you know. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, you guys. Ever go on Instagram and
Speaker 1: you see all those travel influencers who are going all
Speaker 1: over the place. And next time you see a really
Speaker 1: hot Instagram couple who uh is traveling all around the
Speaker 1: world and scuba diving and Greece one day and at
Speaker 1: the Great Wall of China the next day. Just remember
Speaker 1: when you look at them that they have been wearing
Speaker 1: the same pair of underwear for several days. It's important
Speaker 1: to know. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end
Speaker 1: of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus
Speaker 1: episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of
Speaker 1: the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a
Speaker 1: premium member of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy Gecko dot
Speaker 1: supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes,
Speaker 1: they get a completely ad free podcast feed of the
Speaker 1: regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members
Speaker 1: only streams, and they help support my ability to continue
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's
Speaker 1: members only bonus episode.
Speaker 8: For me, when I feel like I'm clinical normal, I
Speaker 8: feel like the most happy. I know that sounds backwards, but.
Speaker 1: Tell me about what makes you feel noom normal.
Speaker 8: For instance, like to me and my friend go to
Speaker 8: the gas stations and I want to buy something, like,
Speaker 8: I feel normal, like because I really don't have much
Speaker 8: money because I'm for college students, so I can find
Speaker 8: the opportunity to go buy even if it's seven nine sense.
Speaker 8: That makes me feel quote unquote normal.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 8: It's like having him to pay for me or whatever.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 1: I don't think that sounds backwards. Oh, I completely understand
Speaker 1: where the happiness of that moment is coming from. I
Speaker 1: don't think you need to climb to Mount Everest or
Speaker 1: do some crazy thing to feel happy. I think the
Speaker 1: best you can get is really siphoning the beauty and
Speaker 1: the happiness from something as normal as being able to
Speaker 1: afford a candy bar when you're going out to the
Speaker 1: gas station with your friends. If you want to hear
Speaker 1: this full conversation, you can sign up to become a
Speaker 1: premium member at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or
Speaker 1: find the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else
Speaker 1: to say.
Speaker 8: Never goes on the line, taking of his own calls
Speaker 8: every night.
Speaker 1: The Repy goes doing his eye.
Speaker 7: He's teaching you about the liver your life, but he's
Speaker 7: not really an expert.