Speaker 1: So I've been posting on TikTok about dating and Instagram
Speaker 1: just dating advice. I wrote a book years ago called
Speaker 1: I Suckut Relationships so you don't have to. I've talked
Speaker 1: on this podcast about the fact that I've been extremely
Speaker 1: successful in dating. I mean as good as anybody, as
Speaker 1: good as I'll take you, like I've said before, as
Speaker 1: good as anybody no matter what they look like. I'm
Speaker 1: not on TikTok talking about how to be successful relationships.
Speaker 1: People would cancel their accounts. I'm talking about dating. And
Speaker 1: one thing that I've noticed is that men want to
Speaker 1: be pen pals, like they want to get you in
Speaker 1: the stable and just like chat. Meaning if they didn't
Speaker 1: like you, they wouldn't want to keep talking, right, they
Speaker 1: would just like ice you out, But they want to chat,
Speaker 1: and You're like, dude, get a fucking plan on the board.
Speaker 1: I'm like a feather plume pen that I'm like writing
Speaker 1: you my deepest thoughts, Like that's not getting to know someone.
Speaker 1: And also, if you don't FaceTime somebody that you are
Speaker 1: thinking about dating and meeting in person, you're an idiot,
Speaker 1: You're a dinosaur, You're Fred Flintstone, you're starting the car
Speaker 1: at the bottom of your feet, Like there's no way
Speaker 1: you must FaceTime someone. Someone during the pandemic when I
Speaker 1: was single, told me that they were doing a lot
Speaker 1: of FaceTime dates and I was like, what it sounded
Speaker 1: crazy and creepy and weird because it is awkward, Like
Speaker 1: it's FaceTime.
Speaker 2: You sound like a weird corporate dater. But guess what it.
Speaker 1: Will save you So much time, so much money, so
Speaker 1: much effort, so much lashes and the way he looks
Speaker 1: you could love text or someone you could love their photos,
Speaker 1: then they're gonna be like it's made up for a drink.
Speaker 2: You don't know.
Speaker 1: FaceTime is close to real. You could get a sense
Speaker 1: of what they look like. People lie about their height,
Speaker 1: people lie about their age. People don't know what they
Speaker 1: look like. People's photos are just outdated, Like we need
Speaker 1: a date on photos and there needs to be a
Speaker 1: binding agreement on whether or not they've been edited. I mean,
Speaker 1: because you could see men who have like good lighting
Speaker 1: in their photos. And I just want to say that
Speaker 1: there are things that women should swipe no on. And
Speaker 1: what they are is a beer glasses on a strap
Speaker 1: attached to your head or on top of your baseball hat.
Speaker 2: Making out with your dog.
Speaker 1: Any woman in any picture could be your daughter, could
Speaker 1: be your mother, could be your sister, your neighbor. You
Speaker 1: don't need a fucking woman in your picture, and you
Speaker 1: also don't need a weird smiley face emoji after your children.
Speaker 1: What is it nineteen seventy two? You're using a Kodak
Speaker 1: and going to fucking rex Al to get it developed.
Speaker 1: Get your fucking phone aut Take a picture without another
Speaker 1: body emoji?
Speaker 2: What are you in a Cheerios.
Speaker 1: Ad with a like a like a stick figure in
Speaker 1: your picture? Fucking are you a grown up? If you're
Speaker 1: wearing a tank top, ladies, goodbye. If someone has a
Speaker 1: Hawaiian shirt and they're living on sponge cake, goodbye. If
Speaker 1: someone needs to tell you, as one of their main
Speaker 1: personality traits who their sports team is that they like
Speaker 1: they're sucking their thumb, they're still on their mom's teeth. Okay,
Speaker 1: give them a bottle and a pacifier and say no,
Speaker 1: it's ridiculous. Men in Hawaiian shirts living on sponge cake
Speaker 1: telling you about their sports teams. Also, working out is
Speaker 1: not a personality. It's something that you do. People don't
Speaker 1: need to like work out heavily five days a week,
Speaker 1: often find me at the gym. It's not a personality.
Speaker 1: It's a thing you do as much as we being.
Speaker 1: Like I like to consume copious amounts of alcohol, Like,
Speaker 1: it's something that we do. I don't need to like
Speaker 1: define it as my brother. Oh, I'm a cough lover
Speaker 1: of cocktails. Okay, what does that mean? Are you a sociopath?
Speaker 1: Are you a kind person? Are you charitable because you
Speaker 1: drink cocktails?
Speaker 2: Weirdo? It doesn't things that you do are not your
Speaker 2: whole personality.
Speaker 1: Lover of iguayamlet or like anything strange like that. If
Speaker 1: someone's wearing something weird or has a weird background, or
Speaker 1: weird cabinetry or a bizarre like old hammock, or something
Speaker 1: seems dirty, or they're sitting on some weird cheap plastic
Speaker 1: outdoor chair in a blow up pool.
Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of there.
Speaker 1: That's not Go to your neighbor and sleep with him
Speaker 1: because he's gonna You don't need to go hunt for that.
Speaker 2: People are really dating down. Women just date down period.
Speaker 1: You have to be able to love yourself first, because
Speaker 1: if you're dating down, it means that you're not even
Speaker 1: at the baseline of liking yourself.
Speaker 2: You're dating down.
Speaker 1: You think so lowly of yourself that you'll date someone
Speaker 1: who you know in your heart, mind, body, and soul
Speaker 1: is beneath you in some way. They're not kind, they're
Speaker 1: not honest, they're not attractive, they're disloyal, they are not smart,
Speaker 1: whatever your thing is. So if you're gonna date down,
Speaker 1: it's not to get with yourself, be alone and develop
Speaker 1: a good relationship with yourself, because you cannot have a
Speaker 1: good relationship with someone else without one by yourself. Nobody
Speaker 1: gets out without paying the bill. Nobody can cheat. It's
Speaker 1: just the way it is. There's no such a thing
Speaker 1: as a free lunch. You cannot be a fragmented, fractured
Speaker 1: person and walk into a relationship and expect to bring
Speaker 1: something to the table.
Speaker 2: Then you're gonna have.
Speaker 1: A relationship that your part. Let's say a relationship, it's
Speaker 1: supposed to be one hundred percent. If you come in
Speaker 1: it not at full tilt. Say you come in at
Speaker 1: twenty five percent, your whole relationship is at seventy five percent.
Speaker 2: It won't succeed.
Speaker 1: So you got to come in at fifty percent at
Speaker 1: least to go meet the other person halfway. Young women
Speaker 1: are not speaking to their aunts and mothers and women
Speaker 1: who have experience of marriage. So everywhere you go, young women,
Speaker 1: they want the ring, they want the dress, they want
Speaker 1: the honeymoon, they want the whole fairy tale. Okay, they're
Speaker 1: being marketed the fairy tale. It's a multi billion, gazillion
Speaker 1: dollar business. Every wedding has three days to it, seventy
Speaker 1: five outfits, ninety two capturings, a complete Fellini and Scorsesey
Speaker 1: production of the engagement and everything.
Speaker 2: Okay, great, fifty five year old women. Everyone. I was
Speaker 2: with a woman last night.
Speaker 1: She's like, if I ever got divorced or my husband
Speaker 1: passed away, I would never get married again. I have
Speaker 1: five friends all saying the exact same thing. Pretty, they've
Speaker 1: got game, they have good men, et cetera. They're all like,
Speaker 1: who fucking needs it now? I'm not against marriage. And
Speaker 1: some people have magical relationships that they're.
Speaker 2: Really in love. Some people have one love that's their husband.
Speaker 1: If anything happens, they did it, they did it once,
Speaker 1: they don't need to do it again. A million reasons,
Speaker 1: because relationship does take sacrifice. But it's fine for young
Speaker 1: women to want to get married to want to have
Speaker 1: kids in their lives. Of course, what's not fine is
Speaker 1: them to rush to get the ring because everybody their
Speaker 1: age is getting the ring and getting the wedding, and
Speaker 1: they're comparing themselves to others, and at twenty eight they
Speaker 1: think they're like spinsters. And the reason that's not okay
Speaker 1: is because they're gonna often present themselves to something they're not.
Speaker 2: Like people sell who they want the guy.
Speaker 1: They think the guy wants to get the guy. Then
Speaker 1: you get the guy, then you get married. Later on
Speaker 1: you become not who you said you were. The guy's
Speaker 1: gonna have a problem with that. Then your kids get
Speaker 1: to be My daughter's age fourteen, and you're like, what
Speaker 1: the hell is my purpose? Because me, I have a
Speaker 1: pretty massive career and relief effort and a lot going on.
Speaker 1: And in the mornings, I'm sitting there in pajamas waiting
Speaker 1: for Brent to wake up on the weekends so I
Speaker 1: can go in hug her, love her, tell her how
Speaker 1: much I love her, and wait for her to, you know,
Speaker 1: kindly say to me, can you get the fuck out
Speaker 1: of my room?
Speaker 2: And not those words, because she's a doll and I
Speaker 2: live for my kid.
Speaker 1: But I'm saying, and then I'm like, oh wait, I
Speaker 1: waited for hours, like scraps, like a dog, just for
Speaker 1: her to like say hi, I love you and then
Speaker 1: get into her own day of lashes and tiktoks and volleyball.
Speaker 1: So you got to have your own thing. And women
Speaker 1: are just trying to get the guy and they're not thinking.
Speaker 1: They're playing checkers. Because you get to a certain age,
Speaker 1: you're like, all right, I did that.
Speaker 2: I did that. I have no money on my own,
Speaker 2: I don't have a skill set.
Speaker 1: I'm bored. My daughter's older, my son's older. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be a hockey mom, but that only takes up so
Speaker 1: many hours. I'm gonna sow the costumes, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to Pta. All of this is admirable, but is it enough.
Speaker 1: It has to be enough for you. If you have
Speaker 1: five kids, you're gonna be very busy. If you have
Speaker 1: one kid, it might not be enough. You have to
Speaker 1: determine for yourself. But mothers, you got to talk to
Speaker 1: these daughters. Someone's got to be talking to these daughters
Speaker 1: because these daughters are rushing. Some people, you know, know
Speaker 1: that they can't wrap their kids in bubble rep and
Speaker 1: they're gonna make those mistakes. Some people know that it
Speaker 1: might be a starter marriage. I mean that happens too.
Speaker 1: We cannot wrap our kids in bubble rep and expect
Speaker 1: that they're going to not get any black marks on
Speaker 1: the new white sneakers.
Speaker 2: They're gonna make mistakes. We made them.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've made some colossal, fucking mistakes too big
Speaker 1: that I don't want her to make ones that big.
Speaker 1: Like we can help other people. That's the reason for
Speaker 1: my divorce YouTube series. So you don't make the same
Speaker 1: mistakes I did. But yeah, those two generations are not speaking.
Speaker 1: The twenties and thirties are speaking. I guess maybe the
Speaker 1: thirties and forties. Twenties and fifties need to be speaking.
Speaker 1: They're not speaking because the fifties will tell the twenties bitch.
Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up with the not getting a prenup
Speaker 1: and being all like Doe iied and thinking for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life, you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Be playing house. What are you ordering in tonight?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yay, we got any red maker that
Speaker 1: is like the new car smell that will not last forever,
Speaker 1: the honeymoon glow once you get into baby vomit and
Speaker 1: diarrhea and breastfeeding and potty training and financial despair and
Speaker 1: losing jobs and relocating and moving and cardboard boxes and
Speaker 1: saggy titties and sex record bras and a rectile dysfunction
Speaker 1: and not being able to get pregnant and injecting yourself
Speaker 1: with hormones. Shit gets real, real fast,