1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,520
Speaker 1: I think our relationship to lostness and making peace with

2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,520
Speaker 1: the fact that it kind of comes up a lot.

3
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,600
Speaker 1: We tend to act like it's like the big bad

4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,360
Speaker 1: Boogeyman and will it come?

5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:09,760
Speaker 2: Will it not?

6
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,119
Speaker 1: It will be here, you will be lost, it will happen.

7
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:15,120
Speaker 1: That is a part of the human experience.

8
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 3: Clear Way is.

9
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,959
Speaker 4: A New York Times bestselling author and poet. Her work

10
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,800
Speaker 4: explores hope, resilience, and the power of love. Her books

11
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,799
Speaker 4: include Heart Talk, Where to Begin, May You Love and

12
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,639
Speaker 4: Be Loved, and Remember Love.

13
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,440
Speaker 1: We don't have to listen to the shadows just because

14
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 1: we can hear them. Every moment you feel that the

15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,639
Speaker 1: decisions or the voice in your head is someone else's voice,

16
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,839
Speaker 1: you do have this ability to reclaim it and say, like,

17
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,600
Speaker 1: is this what I want? Your life is your greatest

18
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,720
Speaker 1: gift and responsibility. Yeah, And so in that there is

19
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:51,320
Speaker 1: this relationship, a constant reclamation is this what I want?

20
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,440
Speaker 2: I think? Is this what I need?

21
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,960
Speaker 4: I'm Radi Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,

22
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,880
Speaker 4: we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space

23
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,759
Speaker 4: for raw and fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow

24
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,480
Speaker 4: you to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together.

25
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,520
Speaker 2: Thank you for.

26
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,760
Speaker 3: Being here, my gosh, thank you for having me so excited.

27
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,800
Speaker 4: Honestly, I have to I'm such a huge fan of yours.

28
00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,160
Speaker 4: You have changed so much of my life just by

29
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,120
Speaker 4: reading your one book, and I can't wait to read

30
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,720
Speaker 4: so many more of yours. But it has given me.

31
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,240
Speaker 4: I feel like your books give words to people when

32
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,080
Speaker 4: they feel like they can't express it themselves. I feel

33
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,480
Speaker 4: like I've understood myself so much more through reading it.

34
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,880
Speaker 4: I've noticed things about myself that I didn't even know

35
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,880
Speaker 4: existed within me, and I just think it's so beautiful

36
00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:42,760
Speaker 4: how you share yourself with other people in order for

37
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 4: them to also feel like they can accept and understand

38
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,960
Speaker 4: themselves better. So I just want to say thank you

39
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,560
Speaker 4: so much. I'm so honored to have you, thank you.

40
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and thank you for reading it.

41
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,760
Speaker 1: You were one of my early readers of the book,

42
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 1: So thank you.

43
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,040
Speaker 3: It's incredible, it really is.

44
00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,600
Speaker 4: And I wanted to ask you because obviously, like you said,

45
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,680
Speaker 4: you've done so many things in your life, but you've

46
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,239
Speaker 4: got this beautiful way of expressing yourself, and I think

47
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,760
Speaker 4: this day and age, people find it quite difficult to

48
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 4: express themselves through words, especially me. I can talk for

49
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,360
Speaker 4: only myself, but I express myself through crying or through

50
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,880
Speaker 4: emotion release in that way.

51
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,320
Speaker 3: What do you think and how do.

52
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,239
Speaker 4: You think people find it difficult to actually use words

53
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:28,480
Speaker 4: to express themselves, Like how can people go about being

54
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 4: better at that? And what do you think stops people

55
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,639
Speaker 4: from doing that? Well?

56
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,720
Speaker 1: One thing I think is really important, and I say

57
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,040
Speaker 1: that whether you feel that you're a writer or you're

58
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,280
Speaker 1: not a writer, I think it's important to write down

59
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:45,160
Speaker 1: what is going on. Yeah, because when you start to write,

60
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,640
Speaker 1: you inherently have like an inventory of what's going on

61
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,280
Speaker 1: inside of your body, and you're really able to sit

62
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 1: and see the stories you tell yourself and see where

63
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,400
Speaker 1: you're maybe disrupting the stories by trying to kind of

64
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 1: bribe yourself out of a feeling or think that you

65
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,080
Speaker 1: don't deserve a thing, or think that you're not worthy

66
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,920
Speaker 1: of this or that or whatever, or diminishing something that

67
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,520
Speaker 1: is reoccurring in your psyche or in your heart, and

68
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,320
Speaker 1: you can see that you're trying not to think of it.

69
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,440
Speaker 1: And so I think what goes on in our bodies

70
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:19,200
Speaker 1: is often a swirling conversation around the stories we tell ourselves.

71
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,560
Speaker 1: And if you can put the story on a page,

72
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,600
Speaker 1: you can at least quiet the conversation, which is usually judgment,

73
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,160
Speaker 1: irrational ideas around the story and around the narrative and

74
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,480
Speaker 1: around what's happening. And so I think the more you

75
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,920
Speaker 1: anyone has a practice of writing it for no other

76
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,760
Speaker 1: reason but to release, but to identify, but to get

77
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,600
Speaker 1: to know themselves better and better, which is so important,

78
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,840
Speaker 1: I think that probably makes it easier to be expressive

79
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:53,560
Speaker 1: in conversation. Maybe they'll be there could be more flow.

80
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,800
Speaker 1: But I think also it's great that we're all different,

81
00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,119
Speaker 1: and it's great that some of us are. You know,

82
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,920
Speaker 1: for every talker, they need a listener. And I think

83
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,600
Speaker 1: it's important to say to know if you're someone who

84
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,760
Speaker 1: can express themselves in a really big way, and that's

85
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,080
Speaker 1: that's great for you, or if you need a really

86
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,880
Speaker 1: cozy nest, or you need just two people, and I

87
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,799
Speaker 1: think it's okay too. It's more important to identify where

88
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,680
Speaker 1: and how you can express yourself than if you can.

89
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 1: You always can, but you you just might need to

90
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,520
Speaker 1: stop or you know, we just need to stop judging

91
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,200
Speaker 1: ourselves for not being expressive in the ways other people

92
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,960
Speaker 1: are expressive. So you know, I feel like for every

93
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,120
Speaker 1: person I know who says like, I'm not great with

94
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,080
Speaker 1: expressing myself, I was like, well, probably to me then,

95
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:45,600
Speaker 1: or to a crowd or to a stranger, but you're

96
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,720
Speaker 1: probably very good at expressing yourself to your partner or

97
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,000
Speaker 1: your husband, or your best friend or the one or

98
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,400
Speaker 1: two people you'd get really connected to, and that's enough.

99
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I feel like, I mean, I love what

100
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:57,920
Speaker 4: you said about journaling. I've had it on and off

101
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 4: relationship with it. More so because I think when you

102
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,440
Speaker 4: do end up putting pen to paper, it becomes this one.

103
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,600
Speaker 4: I would have a filter up first, because you're so

104
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,320
Speaker 4: used to other people seeing everything that you do now right,

105
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,880
Speaker 4: And then to push through that filter one It obviously

106
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,920
Speaker 4: takes practice, but to push through that filter that other

107
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,040
Speaker 4: people the lens that other people are seeing you with,

108
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,040
Speaker 4: to then actually see you.

109
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,080
Speaker 3: Sometimes it can be really scary.

110
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 4: And so I notice myself where it gets to points

111
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,360
Speaker 4: in my life where I'm kind of trying to subdue

112
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,960
Speaker 4: something or not really want don't want to actually acknowledge it.

113
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,840
Speaker 4: I will avoid putting pen to paper because it's almost

114
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,400
Speaker 4: too scary to even put it into words. And I

115
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,440
Speaker 4: think sometimes that's why words can be harder than getting

116
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:46,080
Speaker 4: angry or crying, because you don't have to necessarily be

117
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,760
Speaker 4: as honest with yourself, but I do. I have started

118
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,880
Speaker 4: seeing the importance of using words, even with all the

119
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,479
Speaker 4: other tools of emotion release. But words I think are

120
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 4: necessary for communication between people, for people to be able

121
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,520
Speaker 4: to understand you, because regardless of whether people will know

122
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,599
Speaker 4: you're upset if you're crying, but will they know how

123
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,080
Speaker 4: they can help you? Will they know exactly what's happening

124
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,600
Speaker 4: in your heart, And really it's the only way that

125
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,559
Speaker 4: we can help someone, help us, but also help to Really,

126
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,240
Speaker 4: I think there's a words of the way that we

127
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,000
Speaker 4: kind of hide from and everything else I think from

128
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,479
Speaker 4: I can talk for only myself, but has been a

129
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,839
Speaker 4: way to escape the words and be able to at

130
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,320
Speaker 4: least just release a little bit out.

131
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and most of the time we're probably not of

132
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,240
Speaker 1: the anxiety we have around speaking up or saying something

133
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,560
Speaker 1: is not in the actual words, but what happens after Yeah.

134
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,720
Speaker 1: My brother always says the best and the worst thing

135
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,960
Speaker 1: about the truth is it gets instant results, and so

136
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,480
Speaker 1: a lot of times, you know, the conversations we're avoiding

137
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,080
Speaker 1: are really the results of the truth.

138
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,520
Speaker 2: We have to share.

139
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not so much that you had to say

140
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,720
Speaker 1: those ten words and make a sentence. It's that those

141
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,160
Speaker 1: ten words to say the sentence are do you want

142
00:06:59,200 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 1: to commit.

143
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,400
Speaker 2: To me or not? Or do you know what I mean?

144
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 2: And I think that's hard.

145
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,920
Speaker 3: It's the vulnerability of it.

146
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,719
Speaker 4: I think when you end up sharing words with someone,

147
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,600
Speaker 4: it's easy to kind of hide behind an external you know,

148
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,960
Speaker 4: you can be very poised and you can feel really confident.

149
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,680
Speaker 4: But as soon as and I noticed that with my

150
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,240
Speaker 4: friends in relationships or that are dating, it's like I

151
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,280
Speaker 4: don't want to tell him I like him, Like I

152
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,520
Speaker 4: don't want to use the words I've already shown him.

153
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,480
Speaker 4: I've showed up every single day, I've.

154
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,240
Speaker 3: Sent him messages.

155
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,760
Speaker 4: But actually saying those words it almost it's a full

156
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,840
Speaker 4: version of you letting your guard down, and that can

157
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:32,880
Speaker 4: often be really scary.

158
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,240
Speaker 1: I mean, there's movies and TV shows and so much

159
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 1: of our culture that is just around whether or not

160
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,440
Speaker 1: you can say the words I love you, or the

161
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,880
Speaker 1: struggle to say the words I'm sorry, but those words

162
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:51,560
Speaker 1: are shorthand for an entire experience of hope that you

163
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,440
Speaker 1: have for a relationship with somebody. Right, So if you

164
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 1: say I'm sorry, you know, I'm sorry, it's really shorthand

165
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,960
Speaker 1: for I see you and I recognize my own imperfections in.

166
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,360
Speaker 2: How we are in community.

167
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:08,720
Speaker 1: I love you is shorthand for I hope you'll hold

168
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,120
Speaker 1: my heart with respect and not break it.

169
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:13,960
Speaker 2: And that's scary.

170
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're so right.

171
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 4: Within those small words or the two words that you say,

172
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,400
Speaker 4: there can either be no emphasis or no meaning behind it,

173
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,920
Speaker 4: or there can be so much emphasis and meaning behind it.

174
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:24,720
Speaker 2: Well, that's why.

175
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,920
Speaker 1: And when there is that, I think those are the

176
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,000
Speaker 1: ones that are hard to say. I don't think it's

177
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,839
Speaker 1: hard for anyone to say, you know, oh yes, can

178
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,000
Speaker 1: I have phrase with that? Yeah?

179
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,160
Speaker 3: Exactly, exactly.

180
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:39,320
Speaker 4: I love how you talk about the difference between fear

181
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:44,920
Speaker 4: based decisions or fear based living and then making grounding

182
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,600
Speaker 4: choices like you use that in your book that you've written.

183
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,840
Speaker 4: How would you say you can identify these fear based decisions,

184
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:55,240
Speaker 4: like how can you reflect on yourself and recognize that

185
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,480
Speaker 4: you are living from a place of fear? Because I

186
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 4: always find for me often can end up being on autopilot,

187
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,080
Speaker 4: where if you've been living in that state for a

188
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,600
Speaker 4: long time, that can end up being your normality. It's

189
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,360
Speaker 4: like you don't know what can be without experiencing it,

190
00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,560
Speaker 4: and so your normality could be living from a place

191
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,160
Speaker 4: of fear. You've just settled into it. So what would

192
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,720
Speaker 4: you say are good ways to recognize that you're living

193
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,760
Speaker 4: from a place of fear.

194
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,840
Speaker 1: I think anything you can do that helps you to

195
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:27,160
Speaker 1: be more as embodied as possible. So when you pause,

196
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:31,240
Speaker 1: when you create space to breathe, when you create space

197
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,880
Speaker 1: to kind of notice your heart rate, or notice how

198
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,199
Speaker 1: your head is feeling, or notice where your shoulders are,

199
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,080
Speaker 1: you can really see how the body wants to let

200
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,240
Speaker 1: you know that there's anxiety or fear moving through it.

201
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,800
Speaker 1: And I think that if you feel those things, like

202
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,080
Speaker 1: if you feel you know, your stomach doesn't feel easy,

203
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:54,600
Speaker 1: or your heart is racing, or your shoulders are a peer,

204
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,120
Speaker 1: fear is not something that is comfortable in our bodies.

205
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,400
Speaker 1: So if you do you any type of exercise for

206
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 1: embodiment to kind of sink in and like check in

207
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,960
Speaker 1: with yourself, you'll usually find fear because it's it's not

208
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,720
Speaker 1: really something I feel that is that feels at home

209
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:15,040
Speaker 1: in us and so it you can find that disruption.

210
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,600
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, I agree, I think with the especially,

211
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,760
Speaker 4: your physical body is just a manifestation of what's happening inside.

212
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 4: And as soon as you notice, like for me, it's

213
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,360
Speaker 4: my breath when i'm when I'm a mode of fear

214
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,960
Speaker 4: and i'm and i'm you know, functioning from that point

215
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,720
Speaker 4: of view. I noticed my breath stays here like it's fully,

216
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,199
Speaker 4: it's shallow, it doesn't go beyond my chest.

217
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,800
Speaker 1: Or I'm just not breathing at all, Like you're just

218
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 1: like and you're like, wow, I haven't taken a breath

219
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:39,280
Speaker 1: all day.

220
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I mean for so many people, fear and

221
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,800
Speaker 4: whether it's fear or anxiety, both have similar symptoms of.

222
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,240
Speaker 3: Your physical body. Either.

223
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,440
Speaker 4: I know, I know friends who go into rashes. They'll

224
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 4: lose their hair from it. You know, your physical body

225
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 4: tells you a lot and it will keep screaming at

226
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:56,960
Speaker 4: you until you really listen.

227
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,440
Speaker 2: And anxiety is fear. Anxiety is a symptom of fear. Definitely.

228
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:12,240
Speaker 1: Anxiety is the kind of mind's way of saying, you know.

229
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,800
Speaker 2: Be alert, be alert, be alert, be alert, be alert.

230
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,520
Speaker 1: Something something is not something's going to happen, and that's

231
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,280
Speaker 1: an and in that there has there there is an

232
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:26,160
Speaker 1: underlying belief system that things don't end up okay. And

233
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,200
Speaker 1: when we live in a world where there's so much

234
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:32,640
Speaker 1: not okayness, it is very difficult to not succumb to

235
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:33,680
Speaker 1: that mindset.

236
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,800
Speaker 2: And is it is a fight for peace of mind.

237
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:36,439
Speaker 2: It really is.

238
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,320
Speaker 1: You have to have thirty different ways to have some

239
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,600
Speaker 1: type of defense against anxiety, in some type of way

240
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,160
Speaker 1: to grab on to peace and whatever that is, whether

241
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,800
Speaker 1: that's by having certain friends or that you just feel

242
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,480
Speaker 1: that helps soothe you, or noticing your own sensitivities. I mean,

243
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,880
Speaker 1: you might just be going through like you know, we

244
00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 1: were talking earlier about if you take a red act

245
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,760
Speaker 1: and then you have to come back and you're really

246
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,000
Speaker 1: exhausted and you're really overtired, there might be certain things

247
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,520
Speaker 1: you just have to cancel the next day because you're

248
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,320
Speaker 1: trying to hold onto peace. And so you might say, like,

249
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,960
Speaker 1: you know what, I was supposed to have this work

250
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,600
Speaker 1: dinner with somebody who requires a lot of my energy,

251
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 1: and I don't have the energy for that, and so

252
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 1: can I give myself care in this moment? Can I

253
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,520
Speaker 1: walk towards a sense of peace instead of a sense

254
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:31,319
Speaker 1: of anxiety and cancel that you know and have that

255
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,679
Speaker 1: kind of high integrity moment. Yes, And I think a

256
00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,280
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety, yes, is so much of it as

257
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:38,720
Speaker 1: our genetic set.

258
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 2: Points, depending on what you're you know kind of mental

259
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:47,280
Speaker 2: health world is like. And there's a lot that.

260
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,679
Speaker 1: We do where we really feed anxiety. And I think

261
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,120
Speaker 1: if we consider the ways that we feed anxiety as

262
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,880
Speaker 1: a way that we are embracing fear, we'd want more

263
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:02,600
Speaker 1: to change those habits really allow anxiety to fish.

264
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:04,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I think there's one part, which is our

265
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,480
Speaker 4: internal anxiety. But what we often forget is that a

266
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,439
Speaker 4: lot of our external world is, like you said, feeding

267
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,800
Speaker 4: into that. So, yes, you may have an element of

268
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,560
Speaker 4: it already in tending. There may be a lot of

269
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,320
Speaker 4: things too worry about. But then how are you sleeping?

270
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 4: What are you feeding your mind? What are pouring through

271
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,480
Speaker 4: into your senses? And I've been thinking about that a lot, actually,

272
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,040
Speaker 4: because I go through bouts of watching reality TV, and

273
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,160
Speaker 4: I do notice so much. I stopped watching scary things

274
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,480
Speaker 4: or anything that makes me feel scared for the past

275
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,959
Speaker 4: eight or nine years, and it made a huge difference

276
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:44,000
Speaker 4: to my day to day anxiety. But randomly I'd get

277
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,040
Speaker 4: recommended a show and I'd start watching it, and the

278
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,040
Speaker 4: level of consciousness of what I'm watching feeds into my

279
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,600
Speaker 4: daily activities, and I will wake up with anxiety when

280
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,480
Speaker 4: I've been watching something that's been super high stress or

281
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 4: where people in the show are really anxious. And so

282
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,960
Speaker 4: what you allow into your senses and every single sense,

283
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,040
Speaker 4: at every single moment. And in Sanskrit there's a word

284
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 4: called some scars, and I love that word. It means footprints,

285
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,360
Speaker 4: but it says that everything that you allow into your ears,

286
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,000
Speaker 4: even the sense your eyes, you know, through every part

287
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,440
Speaker 4: of you, leaves little footprints, some bigger than others, and

288
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,080
Speaker 4: those footprints are then almost molding how you are then

289
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 4: shifting through the day. And for a long time I

290
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 4: stopped specific types of music, like I went through a

291
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,200
Speaker 4: phase where I was really trying to see what a

292
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,360
Speaker 4: difference it made, and so I stopped listening to any

293
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,880
Speaker 4: kind of aggressive music. I wouldn't watch any TV that

294
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,640
Speaker 4: was that stimulated me in that way. I would there was,

295
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,960
Speaker 4: I had curated it, and I honestly can say I

296
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,880
Speaker 4: felt so much peace during that time.

297
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,720
Speaker 3: Slowly things started seeping back.

298
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,320
Speaker 4: In yeah, but it really does make a difference, and

299
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,040
Speaker 4: so a lot of anxiety could actually be prevented, or

300
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,400
Speaker 4: our fear can be prevented just by changing so much externally.

301
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, I have this conversation in my

302
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 1: household a lot, which is that you know, everything that's

303
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 1: big is always ten or twenty different things, and so

304
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,640
Speaker 1: you don't have to think about the one big solution

305
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,760
Speaker 1: for the big thing. You can just kind of tackle

306
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,040
Speaker 1: it from the thirty different ways. So it just might

307
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,640
Speaker 1: be the movies. I'm the same. I don't watch anything

308
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,720
Speaker 1: that's stressful ever, like I just And it's really interesting

309
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 1: because I remember a few years ago, I think I

310
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,240
Speaker 1: was having like eggshimmer or something, and so I had

311
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,400
Speaker 1: seen this doctor who was was like, I'd put me

312
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 1: on some type of anti inflammatory thing. And I'm from Louisiana,

313
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,040
Speaker 1: so it was the first time in my life someone was.

314
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,120
Speaker 2: Like, you can't have hot sauce.

315
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And I was like, whoa what, because like

316
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 1: I'd never like obviously, like a hot hot pepper is

317
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 1: very inflammatory. And so I didn't have hot sauce for

318
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,360
Speaker 1: like a year or something like that. And what's really

319
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 1: interesting is and when you have it again. It is

320
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,880
Speaker 1: like feels like the spiciest thing on earth because you

321
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,360
Speaker 1: actually have desensitized your palate if you have put hot

322
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,600
Speaker 1: sauce in every thing for so long.

323
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,600
Speaker 2: And so what's really interesting.

324
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 1: About a media diet if you will this idea that

325
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 1: if you have removed certain things, they are almost twice

326
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:15,680
Speaker 1: as glaring or make you feel twice as much if

327
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,080
Speaker 1: you start to incorporate them again. So you feel real

328
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 1: stress or anxiety by having the stressful kind of anxious

329
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:27,000
Speaker 1: character or thing on or you know. I remember during

330
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,680
Speaker 1: during COVID, I was like I couldn't watch anything where

331
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 1: like the world was ending.

332
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,920
Speaker 4: Yes, you know, I was like, ah, but those of

333
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 4: the movies that were trending on Netflix at the time, I.

334
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,920
Speaker 2: Was like, what is happening? What is like wrong with us?

335
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,560
Speaker 4: Can we not like all the movies that were recommended

336
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 4: or that people were watching were all end of the

337
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,400
Speaker 4: world movies.

338
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 1: I was like, what is like what are we doing

339
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,600
Speaker 1: right now? This cannot be helpful? Like no, you know,

340
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 1: I don't know what is or isn't healthy for someone else,

341
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 1: but like I feel pretty sure I could identify something

342
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 1: as helpful.

343
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 2: And I was like, there's just no.

344
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 1: Way that like movies that are just seeped in doom

345
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,040
Speaker 1: can could possibly help us right now.

346
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,360
Speaker 4: No, And I think we're kind of unaware and desensitized

347
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 4: to it because it's become so normal to watch things

348
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 4: like that. My friend was telling me they're part of

349
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 4: Netflix and they're saying the stuff that's actually being bought

350
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 4: is the dark, the gloomy, the scary, the intense, and

351
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 4: it's almost feeding into people's fears. But for some reason,

352
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 4: if you're and I think it is the concept of

353
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,960
Speaker 4: if you're living in fear, it feels comforting to watch

354
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,240
Speaker 4: fear too. But you're right, I think taking that time

355
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 4: away from it will help to.

356
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:38,040
Speaker 2: The opposite.

357
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,360
Speaker 1: I think I'm like literally one step away from being

358
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,600
Speaker 1: one of those people who watches like the Christmas ham

359
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 1: all around.

360
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm this Plus.

361
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm getting to that time of year there. Yeah,

362
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,160
Speaker 3: what are your favorite things?

363
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 4: I mean, I would love to hear from you, Like,

364
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 4: what do you do on a daily basis to help

365
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 4: with those the fear levels, your mood, your energy levels,

366
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 4: what are your kind of not non negotiables, but the

367
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,639
Speaker 4: things you found that have really helped you.

368
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 1: I think looking at any way of feeling good with

369
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 1: as much flexibility as you can possibly have without it

370
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: veering towards a space of non discipline is really helpful.

371
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 1: So I think this idea that you know, I know

372
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 1: so many people who are struggle to meditate until they

373
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,479
Speaker 1: loosen up their idea of what meditating is. Perhaps you

374
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 1: can't sit on the pillow for the twenty two minutes,

375
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 1: or you or the TM mantra doesn't work well for you,

376
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 1: or the whatever.

377
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 2: But have you.

378
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,919
Speaker 1: Tried a seven minute meditation in the bathtub and you

379
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,680
Speaker 1: keep your eyes open and you don't and you don't

380
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 1: try to think you're meditating in a right or wrong way,

381
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 1: or have you decided that, Okay, I'm going to go

382
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:50,560
Speaker 1: I do this every day, go on.

383
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 2: A walk in the canyon.

384
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 1: That I live in, and I am not on my phone,

385
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: and I just and I make it a walk of noticing,

386
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 1: and I just noticed things around me.

387
00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:03,400
Speaker 2: And so I just noticed, oh, that tree.

388
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 1: Looks different than it did the other day, or oh

389
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 1: I never noticed that that that house has.

390
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 2: A flower hail in the front, or you know.

391
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 1: And I think this idea that we practice noticing, especially

392
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,639
Speaker 1: the natural world around us, because that is where we

393
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 1: belong and there so this idea that we are almost

394
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 1: giving this daily uh seeing and respect of you know,

395
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,920
Speaker 1: the space in which we belong is I think really helpful,

396
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,119
Speaker 1: and because it also helps us to feel big and

397
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 1: small at the same time, which I think is always

398
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,960
Speaker 1: the most helpful kind of I think hadspace to be

399
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 1: in where you're like, yes, it's all important, and you know,

400
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 1: what I feel is big and I'm small and a

401
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 1: part of something big, and in that I'm never alone,

402
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: and in that I always have some place to call home.

403
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 1: And so I think me, I definitely like my walks,

404
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: and I like to just truly have that flexibility where

405
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 1: sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is

406
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 1: call a friend that you just really want to catch

407
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 1: up with, or you know that hearing their voice is

408
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,439
Speaker 1: going to make you feel better. And I think about

409
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 1: following and moving towards what feels good and not being

410
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 1: afraid to walk away from things that don't you know.

411
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 2: I think so much.

412
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: Of the suffering we have or because we have relationships

413
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 1: we don't want to be in or they're not in

414
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 1: the right they're not the right dynamic, but we feel

415
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 1: we have to because of history or because of whatever,

416
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 1: or you could have one day where you were feeling

417
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 1: really high energy, so you commit to a lot of things.

418
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 2: That you actually don't want to do.

419
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I think actually having the like self

420
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 1: integrity to I always say this that there's no such

421
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 1: thing as a hell maybe.

422
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 2: So it's like is it a no or is it

423
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 2: a yes?

424
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: And if it's in the maybe, then it's then it's

425
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: that's just not a real thing. Is just this kind

426
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 1: of purgatory we're in all the time. If you are like, oh,

427
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 1: should I go should I not go?

428
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 4: On?

429
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you're asking yourself that, then like you

430
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 1: have just you have decided that the only way you're

431
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 1: going to move through this is in a space of

432
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: anxiety instead of just doing the thing where you're like, yes,

433
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,679
Speaker 1: I might let someone down, but if I need to

434
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 1: do this for myself, I need to do this for myself, and.

435
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 2: You hope the people who love you can respect that.

436
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

437
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 4: No, I mean I'm definitely a culprit of that. I'm

438
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 4: in the maybe state way too much. But I also

439
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 4: loved what you said about how you know, I think

440
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 4: wellness and every part of our life, whether it's the

441
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 4: way that you should look the way that you should act.

442
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 3: Everything ends up.

443
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 4: You think you have to be so uniform with everyone

444
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 4: else because you jump on a trend or there's everyone

445
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 4: ends up trying to do the same thing. But actually,

446
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,199
Speaker 4: when you think about your own practices, and which is

447
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 4: why I love ioveada so much, because it's such an

448
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 4: individual thing.

449
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 3: Everything from your.

450
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 4: Health to what you have to do for your mind,

451
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 4: to your body, to the food that you eat, it's

452
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,199
Speaker 4: so individual. And I think meditation practices, and even if

453
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 4: you're living with someone like for me and Jay, our

454
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 4: meditation practices also look different. I wake up a little

455
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 4: bit earlier than he does naturally, and he will walk

456
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 4: about sometimes and he'll meditate, and I like sitting in

457
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 4: one place. You know, we have so many different ways

458
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 4: of doing it, but we can end up judging ourselves

459
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 4: based on what we see other people doing.

460
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 3: And then you have this deep.

461
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 4: Expectation of oh, I didn't feel that when I was meditating,

462
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 4: or I didn't feel that when I went on the walk,

463
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 4: I didn't care about the flowers.

464
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 3: But that's also okay.

465
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 4: And I think there's also this element of consistency where

466
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 4: I feel that there's this pressure of Oh, I've done

467
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 4: this thing for thirty days, and you know that I

468
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 4: can feel accomplished by But sometimes I'll show up to

469
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 4: my practice and I will be there physically but not

470
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 4: their mentally. And I've done that so many times. But

471
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 4: what that has done for me is shown that I

472
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 4: can commit to something and it keeps that ball rolling.

473
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 4: Like I do believe in a sense of freedom. But

474
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 4: then at the same time, I think there is a

475
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 4: beauty in showing up for yourself every day, even when

476
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 4: you don't want to.

477
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: There's a lot to be gained in having discipline, and

478
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 1: I think in that that's where I mean, there's this

479
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: fine balance of flexibility and discipline where the flexibility might

480
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: be yes, I'm going to do this thing for thirty days,

481
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,639
Speaker 1: but I keep trying to do it in the morning

482
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,199
Speaker 1: and it's not feeling growing in the morning, so I'm

483
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: actually going to try it in the afternoon. Or you know,

484
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: as long as I just got on the mat every

485
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: day for thirty years, maybe I did yoga for an hour,

486
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: or maybe I did it for ten minutes, or maybe

487
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: I meditated for did a two minute meditation, or maybe

488
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 1: I did a ten minute and I'm at and I'm

489
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 1: continuing to say through my practice of being disciplined about

490
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 1: something that I do believe this is important. Yeah, And

491
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 1: I also am trying to understand how it can be

492
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: create a high functioning something high functioning for me and

493
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 1: so that I can truly reef the bend if it's

494
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 1: because listen, I know a lot of people who meditate

495
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: every day and are like nuts, you know, like and

496
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 1: and but it's actually because maybe it's the wrong meditation

497
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 1: for them, or maybe they actually really need a walk

498
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 1: and need to go outside and have sunlight on their

499
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: skin while they while they kind of leave their thoughts.

500
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 2: And some people, if they.

501
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: Sit, they stew, yeah, and some so that's why some

502
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 1: people need to you know, I feel that way a

503
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: lot where I'm like, I just have to move because

504
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: my like I am like, you know, I sit and

505
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: write all day, so I feel that I churn all day.

506
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 2: So I say that all the time.

507
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: I'm like when I'm I I have to have a

508
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 1: little like snacks all day when I eat, and because

509
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: I feel like a little athlete that's like just churning, churning, churning, churning,

510
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,199
Speaker 1: like and so but that's just who I am so

511
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 1: when I try to go from this churning, churning, churning

512
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: sitting to the this sitting, it doesn't really translate.

513
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get that so much. I feel the same way.

514
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 4: I have to have some sort of move in my

515
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 4: day because even if I don't physically have movement, I

516
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 4: feel stagnant internally. I found movements such a beautiful way

517
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 4: to release. And whether that's in walking or whether that's

518
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 4: a high intensity training class like whatever that movement is.

519
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 4: I think movement of body really stimulates movement of mind

520
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,159
Speaker 4: and of I mean it stimulates so much well.

521
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: Andrey know that because if you want to kind of

522
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 1: start to rewire your nervous system, it is going to

523
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 1: be a physical thing. I mean not to sound dark,

524
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: but that's why they did like electroshock therapy, which is

525
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: like very sick in the head obviously, but there is

526
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 1: this idea that you know, we do know from data

527
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 1: and studies that the body traps trauma, that body traps,

528
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,360
Speaker 1: I mean, all of these things.

529
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: Live in the body.

530
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: So you this idea that you are doing this movement

531
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 1: out of you can start to repattern the piece at

532
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 1: which your nervous system is moving and informing your mind

533
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: and your kind of spiritual Yeah.

534
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 4: I always find when I go off track or I

535
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 4: don't show up in those thirty days, it's like my

536
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 4: mind starts tricking me to be Like, you feel this

537
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 4: guilt first of all, and then that guilt translates to

538
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 4: not showing up again. Yeah, And it's this tricky cycle

539
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 4: that you go through where you're like, oh, well I

540
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 4: didn't commit to your mindset.

541
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 3: Well maybe you just shouldn't do it.

542
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 4: It's just not for you, you know, take a break

543
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 4: from it. But actually that can end up being I

544
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 4: noticed that's actually either my lazy self or this feeling

545
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 4: of I didn't complete and now I have to start

546
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 4: all over again. And that guilt really stops me from

547
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 4: the practice I know is good for me.

548
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 3: And so actually the.

549
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 4: Guilt doesn't help in any way. It doesn't fuel me

550
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 4: to keep going. It stops me from doing something I

551
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 4: know I actually love doing. And I think that that

552
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 4: so many people can get trapped in that feeling of

553
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 4: guilt where you end up wanting to do something that's

554
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 4: better for you. It's like when I'm like, Okay, I'm

555
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 4: gonna not gonna have sugar today, like for a week.

556
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 4: I need to detox from it. I need to get

557
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 4: away from it for a little bit.

558
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: And then I have one piece. I'm like, oh, well,

559
00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 3: then I just ruined all events.

560
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: I know.

561
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: Give yourself a bit of grace. It's fine.

562
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 4: It's not going back to the beginning. It's just stepping

563
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 4: back and stepping forward again.

564
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 3: Like it's not. You don't have to feel like you've

565
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 3: failed or.

566
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 4: Ruined everything by taking a break from something.

567
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And in that, there is something to be said

568
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 1: about being able to cross a finish line and be

569
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: imperfect at the same time. And I think a lot

570
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 1: of the times we are just conditioned to believe that

571
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: crossing the finish line having been perfect is the only

572
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: way to get there, and that's just not real. And

573
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: so I think we can say, like, no, I got there.

574
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: I still like and I tried, and how what I

575
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 1: did was better than last week or better than yesterday.

576
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: And that's okay. And that's also life.

577
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: That is our human condition, is that there is a

578
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: day where we can wake up and we feel completely

579
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: different than we did three days before, or something goes on,

580
00:27:55,760 --> 00:28:00,479
Speaker 1: or you know, I was with a friend of mine who'd, like,

581
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 1: you know, her her dad passed a month ago, and

582
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,239
Speaker 1: I remember she was on this kind of journey of

583
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: like she wasn't having wine and she wasn't doing something

584
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 1: because she was getting she's her body, she was preparing

585
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: her body for something, and you know her dad passed

586
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, no, I need it. I want

587
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 1: a glass of wine now, like you know these and

588
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 1: obviously that's a very extreme example, but these things do happen,

589
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: and we have to allow ourselves to be human or

590
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 1: have or do so that we can also like you know, know,

591
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: what is the life affirming decision for us? Like sometimes

592
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 1: you just have to have eaten that junkie thing one

593
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: too many times for it.

594
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 2: To be like, no, I don't even want it anymore.

595
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: Like I let myself have it like ten times and

596
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: then it's just like I actually was, like I needed

597
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: to happen until I didn't want it anymore, and then

598
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: you don't even think about it. And I think we

599
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: tend to become so kind of mentally attached to decisions

600
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: we make around being well or happy or eating or

601
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: all these things, when this idea that we give freedom,

602
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 1: like you say, to our experiences around them, also gives

603
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: us the free will to have discipline, so it's not like, oh,

604
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: something dragged us and made us feel disciplined. And that's

605
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: why I like the word to be disciplined rather than

606
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: like obligated to or whatever, because then we, you know,

607
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: we chose, and I think when you feel that you're

608
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: not choosing because you're like I should, I should I should. Yeah,

609
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: And it's like sometimes I'm like, I don't know, like

610
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: hit rock bottom with it, like like have ordered the

611
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: like you know, pad tie or like and it just

612
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 1: have that indigestion one more time, like and because like

613
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: your body will also just be like you can we

614
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: can't do that now.

615
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is like that, you know.

616
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: And so I feel like being like a kid growing

617
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: up in New Orleans, I remember it's like like I

618
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: have like like drinking.

619
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: Like whiskey or something like that.

620
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: Now I'm just like if I smell it, I'm like whoa,

621
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: Like I can't even Like I'm like.

622
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: I can't even you know. But it was because I

623
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 2: was like out in high we'll sneaking into a bar

624
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 2: like and.

625
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: You know, didn't know what I was doing and we

626
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: were just psychotic. Yeah, but you know, you just or

627
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: you'll like have had that thing one too many times

628
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: and your body's like, okay, can we like get on

629
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: a roll. And even again, that embodiment, having that attunement

630
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:23,959
Speaker 1: to sell it does create a harmony between our wants

631
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: for ourselves and our ability to be in and have

632
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: that and become those things.

633
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 4: Definitely, it does take a while to like we were saying,

634
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 4: your body just gets trained to something, but it takes

635
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 4: a while. It's not an instant thing of oh I

636
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 4: started meditating, or I started eating salads and iver was amazing. Now,

637
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 4: like it takes a while for your mind and your

638
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 4: body to notice that this actually feels good for me,

639
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 4: because at the beginning, it's discomfort. At the beginning, it's

640
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 4: uncomfortable that, oh, you're swapping out that pizza slice and

641
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 4: you're eating vegetables instead, Like why am I doing this?

642
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 4: But eventually, when you you're right you have to, it's

643
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 4: almost like you stick at it for a small amount

644
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 4: of time and you notice that shift and that change

645
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 4: in yourself, which hopefully then creates a new pattern or

646
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 4: a new way of existing.

647
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: And it's like we were talking about earlier, when you're like,

648
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: if you just have happen, have an energized day. So

649
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: then you commit to all these things and you're like, wait,

650
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: hold on, I was just having a really like I

651
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,239
Speaker 1: was on a high that day of being like I'm

652
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: feeling good. I'm feeling like I have a lot of capacity.

653
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,239
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of the times, whether it's

654
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: about how we want to eat or what we want

655
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: to do for ourselves to feel well and good, we

656
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,479
Speaker 1: have one like kind of released day where we're just like, oh,

657
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: I am just into fruits and vegetables today, and so

658
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh my god, I am now.

659
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: This forever and da da da dah.

660
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: And then there comes the judgment and the shame and

661
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: the whatever when something comes around.

662
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: When really we.

663
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: Can say like wow, on any given day, like I know,

664
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: I'm free to make these amazing decisions for my body

665
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: and my health, and what can I do to detach

666
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 1: from reasons why I would want them to be one way.

667
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 2: Rather than another? And I think that's really important.

668
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 4: I'm so that friend who at the beginning of like

669
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 4: a Friday, I have all this time, I'm like, yeah,

670
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 4: let's do this at night, let's do this, let's all

671
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 4: hang out. I get to Midia, I'm like, why.

672
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 3: Did I do that. Why did I just commit to

673
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 3: all of that?

674
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 4: I have no idea that friend waiting for your other

675
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 4: friend to cancel before you do.

676
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 2: That's always me.

677
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: Yes, You're like, in the relief of them canceling, you're like, oh.

678
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 4: Yeahs I you mentioned rock Button and it reminded me

679
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 4: of something from your book where you speak about lostness,

680
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 4: and I feel like I can I mean, I just

681
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 4: keep saying this, but your book just felt like it

682
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 4: was talking to me. But I felt that a lot

683
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 4: of my life and I still go through waves of it.

684
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 4: I think depending on what part of your life journey

685
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 4: you go on, it's never just a onwards and upwards.

686
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 4: It's always this ebb and flow of I feel like

687
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 4: I've discovered something, and then you feel lost again. And

688
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 4: then you feel like you've discovered something and then you

689
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 4: feel lost again. What did lostness look like in your life?

690
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 2: Like?

691
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 4: How did you recognize the lostness in your life?

692
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's micro moments of lostness where

693
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: you could just have a day where you're disappointed and

694
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: you're like, what's the point of everything?

695
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 2: Yeah? And I think people go through that daily.

696
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: I think there's macro lostness where people you know, finish

697
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: one big goal, and because they're on the other side

698
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: of that goal, they are now not really understanding how

699
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: to like orient themselves to.

700
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: What they want to be doing next.

701
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: I think big changes change us, and if we don't

702
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: get to know ourselves again when we've had a big change,

703
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: we often feel lost. And so I know I've felt that.

704
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,719
Speaker 1: I felt that when I moved to LA. I felt

705
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: lost after I had my first kid, because.

706
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 3: So yourself, right, Yeah, well, and so much.

707
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: Changes, and we have to really live in true observation

708
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: of self and life when when big changes are happening.

709
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: But a lot of the times we're just so busy

710
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: trying to get through the change and do the next thing,

711
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: or we're just busy, or we're grieving, or we're this,

712
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: or we're that in this other emotional place that we

713
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 1: just stop noticing. Yes, in the noticing and the observing

714
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 1: is actually I think what's critical to us being able

715
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 1: to kind of come home.

716
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 2: To ourselves or steady ourselves, or feel.

717
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: Like, yes, everything around me could look different, but I

718
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: am familiar to me.

719
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 4: Yes, I think when I think about my lostness, it

720
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 4: was probably me doing again all these things externally and

721
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,399
Speaker 4: then suddenly it's me running after myself, trying to catch

722
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 4: up with who I am, because suddenly I get to

723
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 4: a point in my life where I haven't been doing

724
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 4: the observation. I haven't been noticing the small shifts and

725
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 4: changes I've been making, where I suddenly look at myself and.

726
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 3: I'm like, how did I even get who? How did

727
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 3: I even get here? And who am I?

728
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 4: Whether it's in a good way or a bad way,

729
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 4: it's me trying to catch up with the version of

730
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 4: myself that I suddenly find I am, And so I

731
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 4: always imagine it as you know, you're just constantly lost,

732
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 4: like running through the forest of your own heart, and

733
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 4: you're trying to chug along with this person.

734
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 3: Who's going at the speed of lightning. But suddenly you're

735
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 3: you know, it.

736
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,479
Speaker 4: Takes so much time to catch up with yourself if

737
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 4: you're almost absent, you've been in darkness for such a

738
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 4: long period where you haven't been checking in with yourself,

739
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 4: and so it's almost like meeting someone. You've dated someone

740
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 4: and then you meet them again in ten years time,

741
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 4: you're like, you're a completely different person. And that's how

742
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 4: I end up feeling about myself, where I've checked out

743
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 4: from checking in with myself, and suddenly a year down

744
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 4: the line'm like, oh wow, I haven't met you. Yeah,

745
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 4: I need to get to know you again. Yeah.

746
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 3: You know.

747
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: There's a poem and remember love that is like five words,

748
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: like the shortest page in the whole books, and it's

749
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 1: called It's simple every time you change, get to know

750
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 1: yourself again. And it's really interesting that because having just

751
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 1: come up of touring this book, that was something that

752
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: stuck out to so many people as a mantra to

753
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: return to giving yourself attentious attention so that you can

754
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: bring awareness to your experience, so that you can locate

755
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: yourself in your circumstances. And I think so much of

756
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: the time we are just the last in our list

757
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 1: for our own attention, and because of that, we are

758
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 1: just you know, we don't we're not embodied, and we're

759
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: not aware, and we're not and we're you know, we

760
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 1: are our circumstances. We are the person we're talking to,

761
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: we are the thing we're doing, we are and we

762
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: are never actually any of those things. And so it's

763
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: really disorienting and it happens everyone, and it can happen

764
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: just like and you could have just have one crazy

765
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 1: day that totally hijacks you, and you could just be

766
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: feeling like lost and not yourself or confused, or like

767
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: by the way, something really big and horrible happens in

768
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 1: the world and it changes every way you're feeling about

769
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: your own life and everything else, and you feel really

770
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: lost in that. So I think our relationship to lostness

771
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: and making peace with the fact that it kind of

772
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: comes up a lot in what can be a rituals

773
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,879
Speaker 1: to returning to self are so important because we tend

774
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: to act like it's like the big bad like Boogeyman,

775
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 1: and will it come will it not? And you're like, Okay,

776
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: it will definitely come, like that's the good news and

777
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: the bad news like.

778
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 2: It will be here. You will be lost.

779
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 1: It will happen frequently, and that is a part of

780
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:21,439
Speaker 1: the human experience. You can move through it. You can

781
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: create a practice of returning to self and being life.

782
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: Going from familiar to unfamiliar is the natural flow of

783
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 1: our existence.

784
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 4: When you went through your periods of lostness, what were

785
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 4: the few things that helped you to return, you know,

786
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 4: back to who you were or to help rEFInd your way.

787
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 2: I think acknowledging it.

788
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: I think a lot of the times we don't acknowledge it,

789
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: and sometimes people maybe even try to help us acknowledge

790
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: that we are, you know, like don't feel like ourselves,

791
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: or we're you know, being even like extra grumpy about

792
00:37:55,480 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 1: everything because we're not feeling at home in ourselves. If

793
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: you can't accurately identify the wound, you can't heal the wound.

794
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: And so I think a lot of it is that,

795
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 1: you know, we just tend to think it's no, it's

796
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: just this, and it's this, and they're just this and

797
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 1: that's just and that's just that or whatever. And I

798
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: think when we can say, okay, but what's my part

799
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: of this, like what's going on on my side of

800
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: the street and on my side of the street, it

801
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: could be like, wow, I'm being really hard on people

802
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: right now?

803
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 2: Why am I being really hard on people? Like what

804
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 2: is this saying.

805
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: About where I am? And in that we can probably

806
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: see that like, ooh, I'm feeling resentment and the resentment

807
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: is like making me feel a little lost in who

808
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 1: I am. And so I think kind of doing that

809
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 1: work to like pause and interrogate yourself kind of Unfortunately

810
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 1: in doing it with help if you can. But I

811
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: think if you can't identify the wound. I remember when

812
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: I went through being able to understand I was having

813
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: postpartum depression, I was. It just changed when I could

814
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 1: actually it to myself and feel it and know it

815
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: was there. It changed my conversations with my therapist. It

816
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: changed the type of support I asked my girlfriends for.

817
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: It changed the conversations and type of support I asked

818
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: my partner for. I mean, it changed really everything because

819
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: I could I could say like, this is what's happening

820
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: and so. And that was a profound period of lostness

821
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: for me. But I think it was a little prolonged

822
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: because I kept being like, oh, no, you just have

823
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: brain fog, like so annoying hormones. No, no, no, Or you're

824
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: just like oh or you're just like, oh my gosh,

825
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: like la is so did da da? And you're like

826
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: anytime you're focused on others or out other exterior circumstances

827
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: is usually a sign that you don't want to look

828
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: within and kind of say like, this is my wound.

829
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

830
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,279
Speaker 4: I always think that whenever I start getting more attracted

831
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 4: to gossip of other people or criticizing other people, or

832
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 4: I reckon recognize myself noticing the bad in people more

833
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 4: than the good. It's usually a sign for me that

834
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 4: I have a lot of work that I need to

835
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 4: be doing, all things that I need to bring up

836
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 4: in myself, because the natural state is not to do them.

837
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 4: Natural state is to see people and see the good

838
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 4: in them before the bad, to be able to recognize

839
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 4: the sweetness in someone before you recognize.

840
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: And or at the very least, even if you can't

841
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: do that, even if you're sitting her being like I

842
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 1: struggle because like her, like they are annoying they are, yes,

843
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 1: and like they just are and they like rub me

844
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 1: the wrong way. So even if that's true, acceptance is

845
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: truly our natural state. So the idea that you're like, well,

846
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,399
Speaker 1: they are who they are, and you know that's why

847
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 1: I have this boundary and you can keep it moving.

848
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 1: But I do think that when you're like really ruffled

849
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 1: by people and it's more than one and and and

850
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: that's a and that's happening all around you, it's helpful

851
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: to be like, wait, if I'm annoyed with everyone, yeah,

852
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 1: like it's me, am.

853
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 2: I the problem?

854
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, like everyone can't be annoying.

855
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, When I moved to New York, I I just

856
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 4: I felt that intensely because I had to give up

857
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 4: I had been studying for six years. I couldn't use

858
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 4: it in America. I had no friends, no family. Jay

859
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 4: was at work all day, and I basically had no

860
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 4: idea what I was supposed to be doing. I genuinely

861
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 4: wandered the streets of New York. I'd take him lunch

862
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 4: because it was the only thing that I knew I

863
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 4: could do. And I kept trying to figure out what

864
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 4: my purpose was. And it was that discomfort, the serious

865
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 4: discomfort of just having to sit with myself, which I

866
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 4: never had to do in my life before, without the distractions,

867
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 4: and also not really having people to talk to because

868
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 4: I didn't want to talk to my mom or my

869
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 4: sister about it because I thought it would upset them. Yeah,

870
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 4: and I didn't want to tell my friends that I

871
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 4: was in New York and not really happy, because oh my.

872
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 3: God, you've moved to New York. It's amazing.

873
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 4: And I didn't want to really upset Jay that much

874
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 4: because it was already quite intense for him that I

875
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 4: was so upset, And so it was actually a beautiful

876
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 4: time to be able to just I mean, at the

877
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 4: time it felt horrific, but now I look by it,

878
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 4: I'm like, that changed so much of me because that

879
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 4: lostness physically of just wandering around, the lostness of sitting

880
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 4: there and not even knowing what to do with myself,

881
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 4: it allowed me to expand so much. Like I then

882
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 4: decided to study so much more. I was like, if

883
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 4: I don't know what I want to do, let me

884
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 4: figure it out. Like again, I had to sit here,

885
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,239
Speaker 4: keep telling myself, I have no idea what I want

886
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 4: to do. I've no idea what my purpose is. Or

887
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 4: let me trial an error, let me try to do

888
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 4: this yoga teacher. I didn't want to do yoga at

889
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 4: the time, but I was like, let me do a

890
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 4: yoga teacher training.

891
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 2: It's near me.

892
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 4: Let me figure out what I can learn about that

893
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 4: and myself. I then studied, I evade, I did so

894
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 4: many things to try and understand myself better from scratch,

895
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 4: because I realized at that point I really didn't know

896
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 4: anything about my new version of myself that was that

897
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 4: was becoming.

898
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's really interesting because there's a page

899
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: to remember a lab where I quote my friend's mother

900
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: who's in her nineties, and she had said to me,

901
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: you know, I'd always heard people say this, you know,

902
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,439
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you have you where they're like, well,

903
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: if you you know, you can't understand the good if

904
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,760
Speaker 1: you don't have the bad, or if you can't understand

905
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: like joy, if you don't have pain.

906
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 2: And I was always I was always like, really, like,

907
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 2: I don't know.

908
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: I do think you I do think we would know

909
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: joy without needing pain.

910
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,359
Speaker 2: She said this really interesting thing to me.

911
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: Which was she's like, you know, the thing about when

912
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: you're happy all the time is you don't think because

913
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: you're so present. You're just like I'm happy, I'm here,

914
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: I'm in it. She's like, pain causes us to question life,

915
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: so they say like.

916
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 2: Why me, why this? Why? Why?

917
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:32,799
Speaker 4: Why?

918
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: And in those questions that's how you become deliberate yes.

919
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: And so this, that's how you create a deliberate path.

920
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 1: That's how you do those things where you're like, wow,

921
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: is there like do I have like a scratch? It's

922
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: something in me scratching at yoga something to me, scratching

923
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: at at at medicine, at like healing at ira Veda.

924
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: You know all of these.

925
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: Things, and and you you you you could hear the

926
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: things that are whispering, because there's you're you're in this questioning.

927
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: And when she said that, I was like, Wow, that

928
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 1: really helps me understand pain. Yeah, because I never was like, oh,

929
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 1: it's the only way you get joy.

930
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 2: It's like that just never.

931
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: I get it in theory, but I never it never

932
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 1: resonated with me spiritually.

933
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: And that I was like, yes, you need It makes.

934
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: You ask questions, You say, why, like why am I

935
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: not happy in New York? Why do I like, why

936
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: does this thing I want not feel the way I

937
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: thought it would. Why you know all of these things?

938
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: And then you have to answer those questions and in

939
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: that you start to chart a path that is uniquely

940
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: your own.

941
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 3: Yeah. I agree.

942
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,439
Speaker 4: I think there's so many different ways that people even

943
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 4: come to their like spiritual path. And I remember someone

944
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 4: saying to me, it's either through confusion and curiosity, or

945
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 4: most of the time, it's through pain. You've been through

946
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 4: something difficult and you're questioning life, you're questioning death, you're

947
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 4: questioning why we're even here. And only at that point

948
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 4: do you start thinking, I need to understand the world

949
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 4: myself and how this will relates together and so many

950
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 4: people I've met the spiritual journeys, and by that I

951
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,439
Speaker 4: mean connecting to yourself, connected to the universe, connecting to God.

952
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 4: It all started through a position of pain and discomfort

953
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,399
Speaker 4: in the world. I loved this quote the semi quoite

954
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 4: Seite loved in your book, but this one really hit

955
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 4: deep for me. You said, we do not have to

956
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 4: listen to the shadows just because we hear them.

957
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 3: Where do you.

958
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:30,280
Speaker 4: Think negative you know, self talk and this constant almost

959
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 4: not demonizing ourselves but speaking more negatively to ourselves than good,

960
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 4: which I think a lot of us are in that position.

961
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 4: Where do you think it ends up rooting from? And

962
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 4: how did you.

963
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 3: Have that in your life? And then how did you

964
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 3: shift to the narrative you have in your mind now?

965
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 1: When it comes to negative self talk, I mean obviously

966
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: that comes from judgment, and judgment comes from this kind

967
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 1: of deep conditioning that there's.

968
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 2: A culture that tells us we.

969
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: Are fundamentally broken or wrong. Because if you buy this

970
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: and you do this, then you get more and more whole,

971
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: or you get less and less broken, or you'll be

972
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 1: more and more Okay, if you wear the right thing,

973
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 1: or you take the right supplement, or you do that,

974
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: you know, all that stuff and so and it's hard

975
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: to shake that because that's the world we see.

976
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: So when we see it in billboards and we see

977
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 2: it and.

978
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: It's in conversation, and it's how parents raise us because

979
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: ultimately it keeps you safe to understand the way the

980
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 1: world works. And so your parents want you to be scared.

981
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 2: Of the same things that they felt kept them safe.

982
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,919
Speaker 1: And so it's like, you know, think that you need

983
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,720
Speaker 1: to get this in order to be safe or settled

984
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: or happy or whatever. And so to me, a lot

985
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 1: of that, you know, the poem that that comes from,

986
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: you know, we don't have to listen to the shadows

987
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: just because we can hear them is more of a

988
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: rally cry to say, just reclaim yourself. Every moment you

989
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,800
Speaker 1: feel that the decisions or the voice in your head

990
00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 1: is someone else's voice, or someone else's opinion or someone

991
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: else's directions home, you do have this ability to reclaim

992
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,439
Speaker 1: it and say, like is this what I want? I think,

993
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 1: is this what I need? Because you owe yourself that,

994
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 1: like your life is your greatest gift and responsibility. Yeah,

995
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 1: and so in that there is this relationship of constant reclamation.

996
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:25,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think.

997
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 4: I think that can be so difficult when you've had

998
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 4: these constant layers put on you, and like you said,

999
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 4: whether it's family, whether it's societal pressures, whether it's the

1000
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 4: labels people have put on you. And the only way

1001
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 4: I think you can really reclaim and keep coming back

1002
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 4: to what do I want? The only way to really

1003
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 4: know what you want is by, you know, deconstructing all

1004
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 4: of these these layers that have been put on you.

1005
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 4: And I always think about that because sometimes I get

1006
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 4: to who I'm like, is this what I want? Or

1007
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 4: is this what other people want? But if I haven't

1008
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,479
Speaker 4: stayed in tune with myself, I don't know what I want.

1009
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 4: And I always think about the channel between like my

1010
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 4: heart or my soul and my mind, like this channel

1011
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 4: that can often be clogged up or filled with all

1012
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 4: this other stuff. So by the time what comes into

1013
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,320
Speaker 4: my mind goes through to my whole, or what's happening

1014
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 4: in my heart goes to my mind, it's gone through

1015
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 4: so much that I don't even know whether it's me

1016
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 4: talking or someone else talking. And I think it's really

1017
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 4: important and I've obviously still working on that so much,

1018
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 4: but to try and figure out how to unplug those things,

1019
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 4: because the clearer that channel is, the more comfort and

1020
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 4: the more confident you will get in being like, this

1021
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 4: is actually me. This I can confidently stand in who

1022
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: I am and I know that this decision is coming

1023
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 4: from me and nowhere else. But I think to unclog

1024
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,240
Speaker 4: that and I think those are daily practices. It's little

1025
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 4: things that we've been talking about that whole.

1026
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 2: It's real maintenance. So it's me. I think if you think.

1027
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: That there is a there that you're like, okay, and

1028
00:48:58,440 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: I talk about this a lot, and remember love it.

1029
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, we often talk about self care

1030
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 1: as something you either it's a battle you win or

1031
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,720
Speaker 1: you lose, but it really manifests more as a bird

1032
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: in flight. There are times when you are kind of

1033
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: the elements are working towards you, and there are times

1034
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 1: when the elements are working against you, and it's like

1035
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: it's raining and you just got to find shelter and

1036
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 1: it's really really tough. And there are certain times where

1037
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 1: like the wind is at just the right place beneath

1038
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: your wings and you're able to cruise that it's different

1039
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,439
Speaker 1: from one day to the next, and it is no

1040
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: matter what, still this movement of self. And so I

1041
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: think that every time we think like, okay, I got

1042
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 1: to the point where I unclogged you know that part,

1043
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: or I just got this or I got and you know,

1044
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: it's like anything else in your house that breaks, it's like, well,

1045
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: you know that like pipe is still connected to this pipe,

1046
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: and this one's probably getting like clogged.

1047
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 2: Up now too. And I think we.

1048
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: Get defeated really easily if we think, you know, if

1049
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 1: we when we approach it as and it's hard because

1050
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: it's daunting, but it's real. It is lifelong, like you

1051
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 1: will just every day, every single day because everything.

1052
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 3: That again every day you're taking out.

1053
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:07,879
Speaker 4: It's like I always think of it as a sun

1054
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 4: pit where you're taking a shovel and you're taking it out,

1055
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 4: and then there's someone else that's pouring back in. You're

1056
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 4: taking a shovel and you're taking it out. But what

1057
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 4: parts are you taking out and what parts are you

1058
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,760
Speaker 4: allowing to stay in you? And the voices that get louder,

1059
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:24,280
Speaker 4: whether it's the shadows or whether it's your soul, It

1060
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,479
Speaker 4: depends on which one you feed and everything that you're

1061
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 4: doing is feeding one or the other.

1062
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, and or watching or seeing And so I think

1063
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 1: a lot of the times, and I think a lot

1064
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:33,440
Speaker 1: of our you.

1065
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 2: Know, judgments.

1066
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: You know, if you're feeling like you're really judging, you

1067
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:39,919
Speaker 1: should watch what you're watching and watch who you're with,

1068
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: because you might find that you are also surrounding yourself

1069
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 1: with people who put an exclamation point on your judgment

1070
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: because they're your friends who like to be judging and

1071
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 1: have maybe have those same judgments or have those same struggles,

1072
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: or what you're kind of who you're watching or doing

1073
00:50:55,960 --> 00:51:00,839
Speaker 1: on social media is like something that says, yes, your

1074
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: judgments are valid, instead of saying, hey, like pause, release

1075
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,280
Speaker 1: your judgment, have a moment of joy, have a moment

1076
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 1: of discovery, have a moment of something different. And so

1077
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 1: it's really important, as you say, to to really be

1078
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:16,720
Speaker 1: clear on what you're feeding.

1079
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. I always notice, I'm like when I go to

1080
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 4: my for you page, and I really know where my

1081
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 4: mind's are depending on what's on there. And so I

1082
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:26,280
Speaker 4: really started to try and curate that, whether it's quotes,

1083
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 4: or whether it's things that make me feel good or

1084
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,240
Speaker 4: animal videos, you know, things that just really uplift my spirit.

1085
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,720
Speaker 4: But I click on one little video that's about gossip

1086
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 4: of like this couple just did this.

1087
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 2: Suddenly your page was your Darker SLF. I'm like, I

1088
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 2: can even get on there.

1089
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 1: I like won't even open it, and I'm like, I

1090
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: don't need this mirror.

1091
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 4: No, it's but I always say it's a good It's

1092
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,280
Speaker 4: a good but sad reflection.

1093
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 3: Sometimes.

1094
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 4: You also said in your book, I'm tired of feeling strong.

1095
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 4: I want to feel nourished. I love that line. I

1096
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 4: think that's this is so much in such little words.

1097
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 4: So busy, exhausting, distracted has become the norm. How do

1098
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 4: we get back to accepting and recognizing relaxation as the

1099
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 4: norm and not the exception or like the treaty, I

1100
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 4: do think. I mean, we've spoken about this so much

1101
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,759
Speaker 4: to do with anxiety being a state that you can

1102
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 4: be constantly in. But what are your favorite ways to

1103
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 4: nourish yourself on a day basis, Like whether it's what

1104
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 4: the foods you eat, what do you like? Can you

1105
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 4: give me three things that you just it can be

1106
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 4: so specific to you, but.

1107
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: Well, I think gearing your day and that doesn't mean

1108
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 1: that you don't go to work, or you don't do

1109
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 1: or you don't fulfill your responsibilities or obligations, but gearing

1110
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 1: it towards ease, so saying how can I get this done?

1111
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,720
Speaker 1: And ease is still on the table. Something we question

1112
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: that I found myself saying a lot on my tour

1113
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,879
Speaker 1: was you know, in your dreams and your biggest dream

1114
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 1: for yourself is your body and your dream like in

1115
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 1: what you're dreaming of that in your greatest goal is

1116
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 1: your body in your goal. And I think in this

1117
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: kind of hustle and grind culture where we truly like

1118
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,160
Speaker 1: the idea of hustle and grind is like your body

1119
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: doesn't get to exist because if you ground grind something,

1120
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:07,319
Speaker 1: it turns to dust. And so what do we think

1121
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 1: our body's place is in our destiny, in our dream

1122
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: And so for me, what I found is just the

1123
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 1: moment these pauses to say, well, what does tomorrow's like

1124
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,319
Speaker 1: planning tomorrow look like where my body gets to like

1125
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 1: belong in the schedule too, And that doesn't mean that like,

1126
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 1: oh so I'm like trying to get my workout class

1127
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 1: in because that's not like my body like belonging to it.

1128
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 1: That's something that I can check off the list as

1129
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 1: like a right thing I did that day for health, vanity,

1130
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 1: whatever my body belonging to. It means that like, I

1131
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 1: have some relationship with like ease and relaxation because I

1132
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 1: don't want my body to live and fight or flight

1133
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 1: in order to achieve. And so that might look like, well,

1134
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,760
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to have the babysitter come early

1135
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,879
Speaker 1: because I know that even after the kids do get up,

1136
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,320
Speaker 1: I can probably I think I could at least rest

1137
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 1: for an extra hour if that's possible, or I can say,

1138
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to order all of the like

1139
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 1: green juices that I like to have because I truly

1140
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: feel the like alkalie my body when you you know

1141
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 1: that feeling when you're just like so like salty or

1142
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 1: this or that, and you have that like moment where

1143
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 1: the like I mean plants are medicine, where you truly

1144
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: feel that the medicinal value of having something that is

1145
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: a life because I try not to look at foods

1146
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 1: as like good or bad, but life affirming or not.

1147
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 1: And so it's like I in all of the ways

1148
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:37,839
Speaker 1: that I approach wellness, I think of like, well, what

1149
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 1: makes this feel life affirming? And my friend Jenna always says,

1150
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 1: you know, if you eat ninety percent life affirming and

1151
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 1: ten percent soul, then like you're always kind of you know,

1152
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: you don't feel that you have like fomo or weird

1153
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: attachment around what you do or don't have. And so

1154
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,879
Speaker 1: for me, I think ways in which I can even

1155
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,400
Speaker 1: ask for support, whether it's from you know, my partner,

1156
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: by being like, well, can are these things you can

1157
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 1: take off the plate of parenting because.

1158
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 2: I need to feel like I'm not.

1159
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 1: In a state of like the constant arranging and like

1160
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: scheduling of everyone all day long. Or I can say,

1161
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 1: you know, I have to be able to do my walk,

1162
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 1: so I'm going to do my walk during this time.

1163
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 1: And I think as far as nourishing, I'd say, like

1164
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,240
Speaker 1: starting your day with something you knew grew from the earth,

1165
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,759
Speaker 1: I think is just really helpful. It just is like

1166
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,760
Speaker 1: so I think whatever it could be, because I do again,

1167
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 1: I feel that like, you know, we hold these machines

1168
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,719
Speaker 1: in our hand all day long and they work in

1169
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 1: this really specific way, and then our brains start to

1170
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 1: think that like that the world created in on the

1171
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,399
Speaker 1: phone is the world we live in, and we start

1172
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 1: to feel really this like distance from feeling like connected

1173
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 1: to something because ultimately we don't belong it, like in

1174
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: this world of technology, like we don't belong there. We

1175
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: have interest there and it's cool and it's amazing, but

1176
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 1: it's not like that's not where we come from, Like

1177
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: there's no spiritual home there. And the more we stare

1178
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 1: at a machine, the where we think that we are

1179
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 1: meant to function like a machine, which means that if

1180
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,359
Speaker 1: we need to move slowly, we think we're broken. Because

1181
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: if your phone's moving slowly, you're.

1182
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 3: Like damn it, like you know, and think so fast.

1183
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:28,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, And your body is you know, seasonal, like and

1184
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 1: the seasons go through your body and you have really

1185
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: slow moving kind of like winters where you find it

1186
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 1: kind of need to hunker down, and then you have

1187
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 1: these like really like active springs and these kind of

1188
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:42,720
Speaker 1: cozy falls of like a winding down in this like summer.

1189
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 1: Like I mean, there there's just so many ways that

1190
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 1: the way that that that how energy flows in our

1191
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 1: bodies is similar to the natural world. And so I

1192
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 1: think whatever you can do that is connective to that.

1193
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 1: So I think even if it's like and without judging,

1194
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 1: it's like you know, because we've gotten to this point

1195
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: where people really judge you about fruits and vegetables.

1196
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 2: I think this is like kind of odd.

1197
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: Did you notice that You're like, wait, what's like the

1198
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 1: problem with the banana? Like and it's like and that's

1199
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 1: like the thing you want, like have the banana, Like

1200
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:12,239
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong if it was grown in earth, I

1201
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: promise you if it came out of soil, there's it's

1202
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 1: not harming you.

1203
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 2: Like, it's just not like have the potato. Who cares, Like.

1204
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is the tips every time exactly every.

1205
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 1: Time, like or anything that is like has been processed

1206
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: in a lab. And and by the way, like no

1207
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: shade to any of those things. Like whatever you know

1208
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: you need for want for your ten percent soul, have

1209
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 1: your soul food. But I think this idea that we

1210
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 1: know every day, like how can I connect?

1211
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 4: So?

1212
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 1: Can I connect through food? Can I connect through like

1213
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 1: winding my day down when the sun goes down? Can

1214
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 1: I connect to starting like moving into my day as

1215
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: like the sun comes up and like acknowledging sunlight? You know,

1216
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 1: so often I think we like kind of go into

1217
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 1: these like dark rooms and get our work done all day.

1218
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 1: And it's like or like, can I move with the

1219
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: ways the day moves Like that's really nourishing. It's really

1220
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 1: nourishing to have to have like the elements water, air, sunlight.

1221
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: I mean, those things drastically change your points of joy

1222
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 1: and okayness. And so I think there's so much we

1223
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 1: can do that is just in a natural flow, if

1224
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 1: we just have a little intentionality, Yeah.

1225
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 4: And acknowledging that if we don't even realize what we're

1226
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 4: consuming from nature on a daily basis, that's keeping us alive,

1227
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 4: from the sunlight.

1228
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 3: To the air to the food that we're eating.

1229
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 4: This really beautiful practice actually that I learned and been

1230
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 4: practicing it for ten years, and it's it's a really

1231
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 4: great way to become so intentional. I talk about it

1232
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 4: in my book as well. But you offer back from

1233
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 4: the morning. I have an altar here in my home

1234
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 4: where that's why I do my meditation. But throughout the day,

1235
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 4: you can offer back all the elements that the universe

1236
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 4: gives you, all the earth gives you. And so in

1237
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 4: the morning, will like incense and that's like the scent

1238
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 4: and the sandalwood that comes from the earth. Every morning,

1239
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 4: I'll offer back water and I'll say a specific mantra

1240
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 4: for that, and then before we eat or drink anything,

1241
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,000
Speaker 4: you place it up on a separate plate and you

1242
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 4: offer that back before you actually consuming yourself. And it

1243
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 4: has been such a beautiful practice to reget. And I'll

1244
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 4: offer a lamp in the morning, a light where all

1245
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 4: like a candle is offering back fire to the earth.

1246
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 4: And it's such a beautiful way to reconnect back to

1247
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 4: nature in a very simple way. You're simply just offering

1248
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 4: back what you're consuming. But what a lovely way to connect.

1249
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 4: I've just I've really appreciated that practice throughout the years

1250
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 4: because it helps me to just appreciate what I am

1251
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 4: as a person living within the earth consuming on a

1252
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 4: daily basis. Well.

1253
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: And if we want to talk about claiming our own

1254
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: peace of mind, like one way to do that that

1255
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 1: will be free every time is ritual, like creating some

1256
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 1: ritual around relaxation, and like all of those things you do,

1257
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 1: like the ritual, like it's just a way in which

1258
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: we focus on doing something, which is also how you

1259
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 1: could define a meditation, which is also how you could

1260
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: find any of these practices that help us to feel

1261
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: better about how we're moving through the world. We're leaving

1262
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:13,440
Speaker 1: the busy mind state and saying I'm striking this much,

1263
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 1: and I'm lighting this candle and I'm deciding where my

1264
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: thoughts flow by saying thank you Earth for this and

1265
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 1: thank you.

1266
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 2: Dida da da da.

1267
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 1: Like all of those rituals create slowness. They create a

1268
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 1: way that we exit this kind of like to do

1269
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 1: list mind frame and go into this you know space

1270
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 1: of here's what I've decided I'm thinking about or not

1271
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 1: thinking about and really deciding and choosing our thoughts, and

1272
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 1: it gears towards gratitude, which we know that gratitude every time.

1273
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,640
Speaker 2: Is this free anxiety release.

1274
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 3: Yes, serotonin boost yeah.

1275
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 4: Do you have any gratitude practices that you do during

1276
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 4: the day or is it just the general trying to

1277
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 4: see things, observe things, and feel You know.

1278
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I think I feel like I talked

1279
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 1: with this in Heart Talk first book, but I like

1280
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 1: to have my little gratitude parties at the end of

1281
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: every day, which is just that I like to alchemize

1282
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,920
Speaker 1: something I would consider a chore as something that's a privilege.

1283
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 1: So if I'm washing the dishes, you know, I'll say

1284
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that I got to feed my daughter's

1285
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: food that I made for them, or that you know,

1286
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 1: I think is and I get to understand how to

1287
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:27,320
Speaker 1: feed them and have the privilege of being able to

1288
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 1: give them food in a world that is food and

1289
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 1: secure in so many places, and so all these things

1290
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 1: that I would be like, oh this sucks, like I

1291
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: don't want to wash the dishes, or I don't want

1292
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 1: to do this, or I don't want to like take

1293
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 1: out the garbage. It can say like, you know, I'm

1294
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: so grateful I like get to have like my garbage

1295
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 1: taken because there's so many places in the world where

1296
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 1: like you have to sit in your garbage, and you know,

1297
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 1: and that's like a way that people have been you know,

1298
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 1: we demoralize people or create inequities in the world. Is

1299
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 1: truly like sanitation, our ability to live in a clean space, yeah, I.

1300
01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 3: Mean clean water. I have to.

1301
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 4: I think I function through the day in the same way.

1302
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 4: Every time I find something that I feel ungrateful for

1303
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 4: or that I'm having a negative thought about, even if

1304
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 4: it's through with my own body when I'm looking in

1305
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 4: the mirror or when I have a thought in my mind,

1306
01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 4: I at least try and follow up with a thought

1307
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 4: of gratitude of Okay, well, I've just cussed myself out

1308
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 4: in the mirror, but I'm so grateful for my legs

1309
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 4: to be able to carry me, and you know, for

1310
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 4: me to be able to have a voice that I

1311
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,800
Speaker 4: can you know, articulate and express myself, for me to

1312
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:40,920
Speaker 4: have eyes that can see this world like at least

1313
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 4: something to not even balance it out, but to create

1314
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 4: slowly create a new pattern of thought, and that really

1315
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 4: helps me to get through the day, but also helps

1316
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 4: me to see different perspective that I wouldn't normally see

1317
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,400
Speaker 4: if I was building on this negative talk like at

1318
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 4: every single moment. Whereas it it does, it almost balances

1319
01:02:59,160 --> 01:02:59,920
Speaker 4: it back out.

1320
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: And it proves the power of your thoughts and so

1321
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: in that, I think so often if we don't try

1322
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 1: to kind of again reclaim our thought pattern, our thought flow,

1323
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 1: we really do feel that we are victim of everything

1324
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 1: we think. And while we of course are not in

1325
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 1: control of our first thought, we just aren't. We usually

1326
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 1: have a lot to say so over the thoughts that

1327
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 1: follow y So like, we can't if you just have

1328
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:25,080
Speaker 1: that fear, that irrational thing, or that anxiety, or that

1329
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,880
Speaker 1: like doom feeling, or that inappropriate thought, or that whatever

1330
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 1: it might be.

1331
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 2: That you're judging yourself for.

1332
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: You know, if you don't have a practice of reclaiming

1333
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 1: how you think by whether that's inserting gratitude or looking

1334
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 1: on the right side side of things, or whatever you

1335
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 1: want to call it, then you will live a life

1336
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 1: where you your thoughts are the boss of you all

1337
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: the time, and you always feel that like, oh, I

1338
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 1: just can't do this because I'm not someone who can

1339
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 1: do da da da, And you're like, well, who says.

1340
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 3: Yes, you said, you said, you know, Yeah, that's so beautiful.

1341
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:58,520
Speaker 3: Oh my god. I could literally listen to your voice.

1342
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:01,480
Speaker 3: Is your Boudia book? It is, Oh my gosh, I

1343
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 3: could hear your voice all day.

1344
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 4: You have such a seething energy and personality. I really

1345
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 4: appreciated this conversation so much.

1346
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 3: I have a few questions I want to ask you.

1347
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:15,280
Speaker 4: It's just like a final quick fire, but you can

1348
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 4: take as long as you want to answer. What's something

1349
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:20,560
Speaker 4: that a lot of people don't know about you, but

1350
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:26,040
Speaker 4: now they will, but you'd like them to know about you.

1351
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:28,919
Speaker 1: I'm someone who watches the same movies over and over

1352
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 1: and over again and tell me, and I probably watched

1353
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:35,320
Speaker 1: like one, like I probably watch a Meg Ryan movie

1354
01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 1: every night. But there's something there's something like soothing about her,

1355
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 1: like and like in every movie she like chose for

1356
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 1: like a span of like ten years, was just something

1357
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 1: where you were like, this is a really cool reality,

1358
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 1: Like I wish this was the world.

1359
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 2: So it's like if you want my god, like my.

1360
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 3: Mom was obsessed with her going.

1361
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 4: I've watched every Meg Ryan movie out there because if

1362
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 4: I had that enjoy Roberts, yeah, oh, I.

1363
01:04:58,120 --> 01:04:59,280
Speaker 2: Mean beyond that.

1364
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 1: And so I watch, you know, the like Sleepless in

1365
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:09,240
Speaker 1: Seattle and we're hearing that Sally and I. But I'm

1366
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:11,320
Speaker 1: someone who just like does not I do not like

1367
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:15,080
Speaker 1: integrate new things like I have. And I usually watch

1368
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,840
Speaker 1: a rom com and I like watch one every like

1369
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:21,040
Speaker 1: I fall asleep to one like every I guess fall

1370
01:05:21,040 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 1: asleeps out.

1371
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 2: The right word, but I like I have I have

1372
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 2: to have.

1373
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:25,680
Speaker 1: That moment as if it was like some people go

1374
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,880
Speaker 1: to the gym. I'm like, I have to have twenty

1375
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: minutes of like the world according to rom comms before

1376
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 1: I go to sleep, like and I just need to

1377
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 1: have it. And I don't like I don't care how

1378
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,440
Speaker 1: late I go to bed. I like have to, like,

1379
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 1: like Simon knows, He'll be like, yes, like I have to.

1380
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,280
Speaker 1: I have to turn off a like I usually turn

1381
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 1: it off before I go to bed, but I just

1382
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:47,600
Speaker 1: have to even if I'm watching something else, I have

1383
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 1: to have that ten minutes of like the rom com

1384
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 1: Like we were just watching that, Like did you watch

1385
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 1: you guys watch the David Beckham documentary. Yes, we were

1386
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:57,200
Speaker 1: just watching it. And Simon was like, okay, like good night,

1387
01:05:57,240 --> 01:05:59,720
Speaker 1: because we'd watch an episode and he'd go ready to

1388
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 1: like and to go to bed.

1389
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 2: I was going to bed and he's like, what are

1390
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:03,640
Speaker 2: you doing.

1391
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,160
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I have to like still have

1392
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:09,000
Speaker 1: ten minutes to like calm down, Like it just calms

1393
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 1: my nervous system down.

1394
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 3: I mean, that's the best genre.

1395
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 4: And I feel like they really don't make They really

1396
01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 4: don't make movies like they did back.

1397
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 2: I have a theory about this.

1398
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 1: I think that people think we don't have the patience

1399
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 1: to watch people fall in love anymore. So what ends

1400
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,880
Speaker 1: up happening is that in these genres, it's like this

1401
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:28,720
Speaker 1: quick thing of like I don't believe because they just

1402
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 1: don't fall in love, like and when Harry met Sally.

1403
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 1: The entire movie is not about that they end up

1404
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,440
Speaker 1: together or they don't, but you watch them fall in

1405
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 1: love for two hours, like through these different circumstances, through

1406
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 1: these different conversations, where now they would just be like

1407
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 1: a montage of them being.

1408
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 2: Like we're at the movies, week, gone shopping, We've did

1409
01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 2: it all.

1410
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 1: We are like had a day at a coffee shop,

1411
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 1: like all these things, and you're like it doesn't like

1412
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:52,800
Speaker 1: work that way. You actually like you're not hanging in

1413
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:56,360
Speaker 1: the moment of like watching them fall in love or

1414
01:06:56,400 --> 01:07:00,440
Speaker 1: fall out of love or like and so they that

1415
01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:02,440
Speaker 1: part and they think that we just are waiting to

1416
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:04,880
Speaker 1: see like what's going to be the drama, Like what's

1417
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,920
Speaker 1: going to be the conflict, And it's like nobody watched

1418
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 1: like there's like no conflict in.

1419
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:11,959
Speaker 2: Like any episodes of Sex and the City.

1420
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 1: Like it was like like literally like nothing happens, but

1421
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:16,720
Speaker 1: you watch these friends just like love each other all

1422
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 1: the time and like fall in love with each other

1423
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:19,600
Speaker 1: for like ten years.

1424
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:21,280
Speaker 3: Can you send me your whole list?

1425
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:21,680
Speaker 2: Please?

1426
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:21,840
Speaker 3: Oh?

1427
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:23,480
Speaker 2: I will, Oh you're great, I will.

1428
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 4: What emotion do you find difficult to deal with the

1429
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:27,880
Speaker 4: why if any.

1430
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:33,360
Speaker 1: Uh, I'd say, you know, definitely, anger is something I've

1431
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 1: worked through and with a lot, in the sense of

1432
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:40,400
Speaker 1: I think those fiery emotions where you're you know, the

1433
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:42,440
Speaker 1: thing about anger, Like, there's nothing wrong with any emotion

1434
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:44,880
Speaker 1: you have, right, Like jealousy is one of the most

1435
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 1: informative emotions you can have. It's only when we turn

1436
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,200
Speaker 1: jealousy into violence that it's a problem.

1437
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:51,800
Speaker 2: So if we say that like it.

1438
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,640
Speaker 1: You know, I could look at someone and be like,

1439
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 1: oh my like jealousy, could say, oh my god, that's

1440
01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 1: so amazing she has that. I'm so grateful that I

1441
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 1: can see somebody in real time achieving something that is

1442
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,240
Speaker 1: lighting me up inside because now I know what to

1443
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: work for. It's helping me on my path to make

1444
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:12,560
Speaker 1: decisions towards my goal. It's crystallizing something for me. Or

1445
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:14,920
Speaker 1: I can say, how could she have that? I have

1446
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:16,920
Speaker 1: this and they have that and she doesn't do da da,

1447
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,840
Speaker 1: And like any moment in which like an emotion tells

1448
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:22,840
Speaker 1: you your God and you're somehow deciding what someone does

1449
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: and doesn't deserve, or like you should be in charge

1450
01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:29,439
Speaker 1: of anyone else's destiny, Like that's obviously toxic. But if

1451
01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:33,240
Speaker 1: we pause before it turns into that, and we decide

1452
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:39,720
Speaker 1: to keep it as information, then it's really helpful. And

1453
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 1: I think anger is something where you know, like in

1454
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:44,639
Speaker 1: my household growing up, I would just see anger manifest

1455
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 1: as like yelling or whatever, and you're just like, I

1456
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 1: just don't want to be like that, and so you

1457
01:08:49,479 --> 01:08:51,200
Speaker 1: are afraid to actually have that.

1458
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:54,479
Speaker 2: Feeling.

1459
01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 1: But really, the thing about like anger is that it's fire,

1460
01:08:58,560 --> 01:09:02,200
Speaker 1: and fire is light. It's illuminating something in you, like

1461
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 1: it is illuminating your values.

1462
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 2: It is illuminating what you.

1463
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:12,200
Speaker 1: Believe should or should not be. It is like it

1464
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:15,760
Speaker 1: is illuminating like a history. It's illuminating like how you

1465
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 1: feel injustice. And we always have to be tapped into

1466
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 1: feelings like what we feel is or isn't just around us,

1467
01:09:24,400 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 1: And I think it really helps us to be an

1468
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:28,720
Speaker 1: advocate for ourselves because we can feel that heat and

1469
01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:32,360
Speaker 1: we can feel the light, and the light brings things

1470
01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:34,400
Speaker 1: out of the dark and clarity to things.

1471
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:35,040
Speaker 2: So when we.

1472
01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:40,040
Speaker 1: Hide from those hot emotions like jealousy or big sadness,

1473
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:44,720
Speaker 1: jealousy or anger or big sadness, we do tend to

1474
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:45,400
Speaker 1: miss out.

1475
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:49,559
Speaker 2: But I think we're so you know, you watch so

1476
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:50,760
Speaker 2: many people.

1477
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:55,320
Speaker 1: Create violent manifestations of that, so like anger is great.

1478
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:58,559
Speaker 1: Anger is like some of the most incredible information you

1479
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:00,960
Speaker 1: could get about people in your life, life, about yourself.

1480
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,680
Speaker 1: It's just anger. Obviously when it turns to violence, is

1481
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:06,759
Speaker 1: you know, not helpful.

1482
01:10:06,920 --> 01:10:09,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is not in my list. But what does

1483
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:09,679
Speaker 3: your tattoo?

1484
01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:12,240
Speaker 2: Day? Oh it says love. Why wouldn't you?

1485
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,960
Speaker 3: Ah, I love that. When was the last time you

1486
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 3: had a really good cry? And why?

1487
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:19,559
Speaker 4: Oh you don't say why? Just when was the last

1488
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 4: time made a really good cry?

1489
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:25,400
Speaker 1: You know? I have been crying a lot lately. Yeah,

1490
01:10:25,439 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful. And I write about crying in

1491
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 1: this book because I was the person who was never

1492
01:10:31,439 --> 01:10:35,639
Speaker 1: a crier. And I had this revelation once in therapy

1493
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 1: where I had said to my therapist, like I hid

1494
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 1: my tears for so long they started hiding for me,

1495
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 1: so I couldn't like locate my tears.

1496
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:44,639
Speaker 2: But it's because we live in a world that tells

1497
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 2: us not to cry.

1498
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,360
Speaker 1: And and I write, you know, you're not supposed to

1499
01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:49,160
Speaker 1: cry at home, and you shouldn't cry at school, and

1500
01:10:49,160 --> 01:10:51,000
Speaker 1: you could shouldn't cry here, Like there's not a place

1501
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:55,200
Speaker 1: where we say, like, these tears are welcome. And so

1502
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:58,160
Speaker 1: I think because of that, this idea that we are

1503
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:02,120
Speaker 1: like strong and not human happens in a human like

1504
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 1: is always going to have relationship to water and to

1505
01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:12,840
Speaker 1: cleansing into removing. And so recently I was having this

1506
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:15,479
Speaker 1: cry and I was like kind of you know, I

1507
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:17,800
Speaker 1: had been with my friend who his dad passed, and

1508
01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:19,880
Speaker 1: I was with her and her mom, and you know,

1509
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:22,240
Speaker 1: I didn't feel I could cry when I was with them,

1510
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:27,120
Speaker 1: but it was so horrible, and I remember getting in

1511
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,240
Speaker 1: the car and like just really letting it go. And

1512
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:35,839
Speaker 1: it was really weird because like not to sound like psycho,

1513
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:38,200
Speaker 1: but I'm not, like I don't think about like live

1514
01:11:38,320 --> 01:11:41,320
Speaker 1: citing my own work. But I had this moment in

1515
01:11:41,360 --> 01:11:43,679
Speaker 1: the car because I was like, I still was having

1516
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:45,800
Speaker 1: trouble to let it go even when I got there,

1517
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:46,840
Speaker 1: because I was like, I'm going to cry in this

1518
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:49,799
Speaker 1: uber and like now it's going to be this guy's problem,

1519
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:52,679
Speaker 1: and like, and there's this poem in the book that says,

1520
01:11:53,760 --> 01:11:55,680
Speaker 1: the tears they shed and shed it is it is

1521
01:11:55,680 --> 01:11:57,400
Speaker 1: a gift. It is a gift to release what I

1522
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:00,680
Speaker 1: can no longer hold in this idea that like we

1523
01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:04,360
Speaker 1: just don't have to hold it and that our tears

1524
01:12:04,439 --> 01:12:07,000
Speaker 1: come as a way to like let us release what

1525
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:11,479
Speaker 1: we can't hold anymore, you know, really helped. I mean

1526
01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:13,600
Speaker 1: I wrote that poem because it was a mantra that

1527
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:18,320
Speaker 1: helped me like kind of allow for myself to cry

1528
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:21,280
Speaker 1: whenever I need to have the cry. And so whether

1529
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, I'll have a tour stop and

1530
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:26,000
Speaker 1: my tours, I meet every single person, and I talk

1531
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:29,000
Speaker 1: to every single person every night, and there's so much

1532
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:31,320
Speaker 1: that goes on, and so many of the you know,

1533
01:12:31,720 --> 01:12:35,599
Speaker 1: we don't really have like we don't like skim the waters,

1534
01:12:36,479 --> 01:12:38,960
Speaker 1: and so it was really you know, there were sun

1535
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:41,160
Speaker 1: nights whorts just like needed to like let it go

1536
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:43,000
Speaker 1: because I was that was a way that I was

1537
01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 1: able to have held space for someone in a moment,

1538
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:51,160
Speaker 1: but perhaps not continued to hold their offering to me,

1539
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:53,760
Speaker 1: which I was so grateful that they felt they could

1540
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:57,160
Speaker 1: share with me. And so I've been having a lot

1541
01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,160
Speaker 1: of cries lately and just been like the tears they

1542
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,120
Speaker 1: shed and shed.

1543
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,559
Speaker 4: That's so beautiful. I feel the same way I really

1544
01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:08,599
Speaker 4: tried to see. I love the definition of emotions, energy

1545
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:12,080
Speaker 4: and motion, and I truly believe that emotions are not

1546
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:16,160
Speaker 4: supposed to stay in you. It creates stagnancy. And you know,

1547
01:13:16,240 --> 01:13:18,960
Speaker 4: in an irate it talks about how when you allow

1548
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 4: emotions to stay stagnant and to be held in different

1549
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,080
Speaker 4: parts of your body, it's actually the beginning of a

1550
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:25,600
Speaker 4: lot of disease in the body and a lot of

1551
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:29,840
Speaker 4: discomfort in the body, well, disase like disease exactly. And

1552
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:33,759
Speaker 4: so I see, I really try and recognize the emotions

1553
01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:35,519
Speaker 4: I have, and I think that's why I do cry

1554
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:37,320
Speaker 4: a lot, because a lot of my emotions come out

1555
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:40,200
Speaker 4: and crying, whether I'm happy or sad or angry, it's

1556
01:13:40,280 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 4: just it pours out of me in that way, and

1557
01:13:42,439 --> 01:13:45,120
Speaker 4: I'm not in control of that. And I've started to

1558
01:13:45,120 --> 01:13:47,240
Speaker 4: see it as a really beautiful thing because I do

1559
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:50,960
Speaker 4: think it allows that space for you to I mean,

1560
01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:53,439
Speaker 4: if you're at full capacity, how can you hold space

1561
01:13:53,479 --> 01:13:55,120
Speaker 4: for anybody else? And how can you hold space for

1562
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:58,240
Speaker 4: even yourself because you're not allowing anything else to enter

1563
01:13:58,320 --> 01:13:59,360
Speaker 4: and release through your body.

1564
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:04,080
Speaker 2: It's just what you need, like some people might need to.

1565
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:07,680
Speaker 1: Like sweat every day exactly, like to have released that

1566
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:10,240
Speaker 1: like and have that way that their body is able

1567
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:15,880
Speaker 1: to shed experience or emotions or whatever, and they just

1568
01:14:16,080 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 1: that might be the relationship they have with the water

1569
01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:20,759
Speaker 1: and their body. Like, but you know, we are again.

1570
01:14:20,840 --> 01:14:22,960
Speaker 1: It's like when you think about these tears, when you

1571
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:25,559
Speaker 1: think about the sweat, the whatever it is, it's like

1572
01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:28,720
Speaker 1: the earth needs the rain, then you do, and and

1573
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 1: the earth needs the rain like we need these moments

1574
01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:37,559
Speaker 1: of downpour and and that's what cleans our earth truly,

1575
01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:39,639
Speaker 1: Like that is what makes you know, if we didn't

1576
01:14:39,680 --> 01:14:42,960
Speaker 1: have these ways of like street cleaning or whatever, the

1577
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,120
Speaker 1: streets would become clean by the rain that fell.

1578
01:14:45,360 --> 01:14:49,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just amazing. Love our bodies, their human bodies

1579
01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:50,479
Speaker 3: is just so amazing.

1580
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:52,280
Speaker 2: I know, they really are.

1581
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:54,559
Speaker 3: So much.

1582
01:14:54,680 --> 01:14:57,240
Speaker 1: And if you have decided that your body is the world,

1583
01:14:58,040 --> 01:15:01,360
Speaker 1: all you notice is how the body behaves like the world.

1584
01:15:01,439 --> 01:15:04,320
Speaker 1: And all you'll want to do is keep putting your

1585
01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:06,680
Speaker 1: body in the real world with real people. You know,

1586
01:15:06,720 --> 01:15:08,920
Speaker 1: we talked about that so much on the tour. It's like,

1587
01:15:09,120 --> 01:15:14,360
Speaker 1: especially lately online, it's like if you are always online,

1588
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:17,680
Speaker 1: you will always feel like there's no possibility towards okayness

1589
01:15:18,080 --> 01:15:20,040
Speaker 1: does no matter how many amazing people like and I

1590
01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:22,680
Speaker 1: say that as someone who like, I'm so grateful to

1591
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:25,120
Speaker 1: be able to offer in so many ways that you do,

1592
01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:27,800
Speaker 1: and I know your husband does. Just offer help and

1593
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:31,400
Speaker 1: support to people via the online world and at the

1594
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:36,160
Speaker 1: same time being incessantly online, you will never feel like

1595
01:15:36,160 --> 01:15:38,519
Speaker 1: you're going to be okay. But I guarantee you, if

1596
01:15:38,560 --> 01:15:42,160
Speaker 1: you go somewhere and you sit shoulder to shoulder with somebody,

1597
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:46,040
Speaker 1: you will feel that like there is this possibility for okay.

1598
01:15:46,439 --> 01:15:47,479
Speaker 2: Human just will.

1599
01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:51,200
Speaker 1: Because the like that's when we remember that, like, oh,

1600
01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:52,880
Speaker 1: I'm a flower and they're a flower, and we're just

1601
01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:54,840
Speaker 1: growing and it's just this thing and we're all in

1602
01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:57,000
Speaker 1: this together and we're these a live things in this

1603
01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:01,360
Speaker 1: a live place, and we're not like at the mercy

1604
01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:03,679
Speaker 1: of the worst image we saw today on our phone.

1605
01:16:04,040 --> 01:16:07,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that interaction between us as I always think

1606
01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:09,000
Speaker 4: about this, you know, back in the day, you'd go

1607
01:16:09,040 --> 01:16:11,640
Speaker 4: to your friend's house when you need to talk to

1608
01:16:11,680 --> 01:16:14,040
Speaker 4: them or when you're upset, and now we communicate even

1609
01:16:14,120 --> 01:16:17,120
Speaker 4: it kind of lessens the impact and the ability to

1610
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:21,160
Speaker 4: connect through a vessel rather than being and seeing and

1611
01:16:21,680 --> 01:16:25,559
Speaker 4: exchanging energy and exchanging eye contact and physical touch and

1612
01:16:26,520 --> 01:16:29,479
Speaker 4: human interaction is what we thrive on. We all need

1613
01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:31,880
Speaker 4: to be around each other to collectively give and receive

1614
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:35,479
Speaker 4: energy from each other, and I think it brings so

1615
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:37,400
Speaker 4: much ease when you're able to do that on a

1616
01:16:37,439 --> 01:16:38,360
Speaker 4: regular basis.

1617
01:16:38,479 --> 01:16:40,479
Speaker 2: I totally agree. I totally agree.

1618
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:43,000
Speaker 4: My last question to you is what kind of crier

1619
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:45,080
Speaker 4: are you? So I have broken down the crier it's

1620
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:48,759
Speaker 4: more of a fun thing. But there's the loud ugly crier,

1621
01:16:48,840 --> 01:16:51,360
Speaker 4: which is not ugly, but you know, the ugly cari,

1622
01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:56,840
Speaker 4: the ugly cris everything is just it's all now and yeah.

1623
01:16:57,120 --> 01:17:01,880
Speaker 4: Then there's the breathless, where it's it's like just the

1624
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:04,280
Speaker 4: there's the sniffler and snotty, which is there is water

1625
01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:07,559
Speaker 4: coming out from every hole possible. There's the high pitch

1626
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:10,400
Speaker 4: where suddenly they go like three octaves higher you just

1627
01:17:10,479 --> 01:17:14,280
Speaker 4: don't know. And then there's I'm not crying, you're crying.

1628
01:17:14,320 --> 01:17:16,400
Speaker 4: I have something in my eye, right, And then there's

1629
01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:18,880
Speaker 4: a silent cry where they go away they come back

1630
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:19,840
Speaker 4: and you wouldn't even know.

1631
01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:22,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, which one do you think you are?

1632
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:25,920
Speaker 1: I think for that silent one, there's also the person

1633
01:17:25,960 --> 01:17:28,200
Speaker 1: that like they go away, they cry, and you wouldn't

1634
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:29,720
Speaker 1: be able to tell if their eyes weren't red.

1635
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:31,520
Speaker 3: Yes, like you're just like.

1636
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:34,559
Speaker 2: Like okay, and they're just like no, like I'm fine.

1637
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:35,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1638
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:39,240
Speaker 1: I feel that I'm like maybe more the silent cry,

1639
01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:42,000
Speaker 1: but not in like a hiding way, you know, where

1640
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:43,920
Speaker 1: it's like I think that I just like go and

1641
01:17:43,960 --> 01:17:46,720
Speaker 1: it's like I have like just like tears streaming down

1642
01:17:46,800 --> 01:17:47,640
Speaker 1: my face.

1643
01:17:47,360 --> 01:17:49,439
Speaker 2: And it's just like and and again.

1644
01:17:49,479 --> 01:17:51,640
Speaker 1: Maybe it's because I like have yet to reach the

1645
01:17:51,720 --> 01:17:54,799
Speaker 1: point as somebody who's like a reformed not a good crier,

1646
01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:56,280
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to be a better crier.

1647
01:17:58,080 --> 01:17:59,680
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've reached the point.

1648
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:01,280
Speaker 1: Of like cause the ugly cry is where we all

1649
01:18:01,280 --> 01:18:03,840
Speaker 1: want to be because like that's like that I had

1650
01:18:03,920 --> 01:18:07,439
Speaker 1: like free to just like emote like what I like

1651
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:09,680
Speaker 1: what my body is like telling me, and like I

1652
01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:13,320
Speaker 1: have no care or like in the world for how

1653
01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:14,200
Speaker 1: this appears.

1654
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:15,799
Speaker 2: Like the ugly cry is goals.

1655
01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:18,759
Speaker 4: No, I feel like from the being around your presence

1656
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,120
Speaker 4: and the way that you speak, I'm not I can

1657
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:23,200
Speaker 4: only imagine you're one of those artistic, beautiful criers where

1658
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:26,160
Speaker 4: it's just like the tears just slowly generally roll down

1659
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:28,360
Speaker 4: your face. It's like a romantic movie.

1660
01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:29,960
Speaker 1: Where you're just like it's like you're and you're staring

1661
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:31,599
Speaker 1: out the window and you're just like.

1662
01:18:31,920 --> 01:18:34,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then your your poetry book is like playing

1663
01:18:34,320 --> 01:18:34,920
Speaker 4: in the background.

1664
01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:36,320
Speaker 3: Like that's how I feel you'd be.

1665
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:37,479
Speaker 2: That's also how.

1666
01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:40,280
Speaker 1: Like a sociopath is gonna cry right like that, Like

1667
01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:42,559
Speaker 1: you could have like framed like oh this like nice

1668
01:18:42,640 --> 01:18:46,360
Speaker 1: poet or like a villain like who's like you know,

1669
01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:48,840
Speaker 1: it's a just about to get revenge and is like

1670
01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:50,559
Speaker 1: saying goodbye to like this cul world.

1671
01:18:50,640 --> 01:18:50,880
Speaker 2: You know.

1672
01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:54,280
Speaker 1: So but I think that like the ugly cry is goals,

1673
01:18:54,320 --> 01:18:57,080
Speaker 1: and I don't think I get ugly cry often enough.

1674
01:18:57,479 --> 01:18:59,200
Speaker 2: I think I more have the like.

1675
01:19:00,040 --> 01:19:02,439
Speaker 1: They're just like the tears are streaming down and I'm

1676
01:19:02,479 --> 01:19:04,639
Speaker 1: like and I'm like, you know, letting them, so I'm

1677
01:19:04,640 --> 01:19:07,320
Speaker 1: not doing the like I want to hide it. But

1678
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:10,720
Speaker 1: it is just this like kind of like silent outpour,

1679
01:19:10,840 --> 01:19:11,400
Speaker 1: and I'm.

1680
01:19:11,240 --> 01:19:14,760
Speaker 3: Like, okay, like you know, well, remember love.

1681
01:19:14,920 --> 01:19:18,040
Speaker 4: Your book definitely brought many tears to my eyes, but

1682
01:19:18,080 --> 01:19:22,880
Speaker 4: in a really cleansing and uplifting way. So thank you

1683
01:19:22,920 --> 01:19:24,519
Speaker 4: for that. Thank you for all the work that you do.

1684
01:19:24,600 --> 01:19:27,799
Speaker 4: Thank you for writing such beautiful words and for anybody

1685
01:19:27,880 --> 01:19:31,439
Speaker 4: who needs to understand themselves better, needs a really good cry,

1686
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:35,120
Speaker 4: please check out the book. It is honestly one of

1687
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:37,479
Speaker 4: the few books lately that I haven't been able to

1688
01:19:37,479 --> 01:19:37,920
Speaker 4: put down.

1689
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:40,880
Speaker 3: It's just it's beautiful. So thank you so much for

1690
01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:44,080
Speaker 3: being Thank you so much, Thank you so much, and

1691
01:19:44,400 --> 01:19:45,920
Speaker 3: look forward to many more conversations.

1692
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:48,519
Speaker 2: Thank you, and thank you so much.