WEBVTT - Episode 107: Ft Tammy Rivera 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:07.200 What is it's lip service to Angela? Yee, I'm g McGuire, 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:13.280 I'm Mariah and Tammy Rivera is here. Very sweet Tammy Rivera, 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:16.439 thank you. She came in here killing it. I know 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:20.120 it's fast. I got another event to go to. Yeah, 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.360 I saw you in the All Red and everything. Yeah, 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:26.360 I love it. I just I just love this. Can 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:29.960 we c Yeah? I just love this ship because you 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:32.600 are a stylist, so let's never forget that. Yeah, so 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.640 I comes from That's what comes from, you know, originally, 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:37.920 But I just love it. Do you love the fact 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:40.000 that now you sit in like the front row because 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.479 think about starting starting out as a stylist and how 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.280 much things have changed for you. Yeah. I remember I 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:47.880 was just telling them last when it was Mercedes Bands 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:50.000 Fast Week and I came and I came to the show, 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:51.559 not like, oh wait in bed, but I didn't give 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.520 a damn because I was like, and I feel like 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:58.080 where I want to be? So where do you you 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:00.480 need to be? Front row? I mean next to Anna 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:02.960 win tour? No, I need to be walking down the 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:08.800 aisle presenting my own clothes and the front right because 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:10.760 you have the bathing their bathing suits. Yeah, I have 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:14.039 this one Suitlion, and that's been doing really really really good. 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:16.679 And you have your new song all these Kisses, and 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:19.680 you did a video. Did you pick the leading guy 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:21.720 or how does that work? No? They wouldn't let me 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.240 pay go. But I was like, I told him by 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:27.800 the stripe, described to them what I wanted and they 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:29.920 found him. But he was good. He's a guy, he's 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:36.600 what was that description? Did you see? Daddy? I said? 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:41.880 I wanted him to be tall, chocolate, tattoos, post cut, walcat. Also, 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:49.880 everything is right. When would your leading guy be? If 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:54.360 you had to describe your leading guy each rest album? 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:59.080 Definitely tall and dark? How come no one said short? 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:05.560 I'm mean nobody says when not sure? Height is me? 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:14.560 So we can say you're tall? I'm sure you don't 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:16.440 want to don't know? I want tall? Oh, I'm like, wait, 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:22.000 what's going on? Yeah? No, but yeah, tall and dark? 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.840 You know tattoos is it's fine? I like, um, how 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.680 come to its light skin? I don't like lighting? Look 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:34.600 at us? You know cousins like camelt I guess right, 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:37.600 don't you lightful? Like man? That's how I feel? First 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:43.960 of all, like no discrimination to the Yellow brothers but 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.040 me personally, I need a little bit of flavor to 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:49.400 dilute this mix, you know, swirl it on up because 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:52.520 I'm light enough. Yeah, that's right. I probably only dated 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.200 one light skinned guy and my whole life I dated 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:58.280 a couple. But like I mean, well because compared to me, 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.680 like you're saying data, that fucked, because it's a different 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:04.440 It was my great friend, but he's like my complexion. 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.799 But like all the other guys I've dated is probably 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.200 like light brown skin or darker. I've never dated a 0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:13.520 light skin guy. My husband's the lightest and he hood 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.919 his house. You get have passed when you got like 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.880 getting soft. My ex was He's from Cameroon and was 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:26.040 dark just like black. He s went his eyes when 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:29.639 he takes pictures the exes when I'm so black that 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:36.760 he was blue. It's called blue. Now, what's the difference. 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:41.520 We were talking about this between dating and fucking, because 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.640 some people mistake those two like they think if I'm 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:46.080 having sex with you, i'm dating you. Oh we have sex, 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:49.160 were dating? I mean, I'm just just me. I've always 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.760 been in relationships like I've been. I was people like 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:54.480 people and I was married. Um when I was to 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.000 my daughter's father. I was with him for ten years. 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:58.200 He was like my first boyfriend. How old were you 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:01.920 when you got married nineteen nineteen? Damn? Yeah, I was 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:03.240 nineteen and I got a friend. I mean when I 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:05.640 got married. I had my daughter when I was twenty. 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:07.640 So did you guys get married because you were pregnant 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:08.960 And it was like, Okay, this is what we need 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:11.360 to do. Girl. No, my family get they don't give it. 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:16.480 There un't. I just thought I was he was my first. 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:18.600 Like I was with him since I was third fourteen 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:22.640 thirteen or something like that, and um like it was 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:24.440 one for ten years. So it was just like, you know, 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:26.440 the right thing to do. I guess we just felt 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:29.360 like we were in love or whatever. But um yeah, 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:32.080 not that that. I had two relationships after that. Um 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:35.240 So everybody that I had sex with I was in 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:37.000 a relationship with. Right if I'm having sex with you, 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:41.200 we did, we go together? We go together? I like, damn, 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:44.880 you love you? You? What made you get divorced with that? 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.520 The last with my ex, Uh, it's a piece of 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:51.120 relationship just wasn't healthy. I just thought it. You know, 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:52.919 I didn't growup with the father, so I thought you 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.600 know certain things were loved, but then when you get 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:57.479 to a point where you get older, you like hold up, 0:04:57.560 --> 0:05:00.800 nig at this thing about right, this thing right? So yeah, 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.640 it was to control and just you know, it was 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:05.400 just too much. But I don't even blame him because 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:06.800 he was young, so he's just going off of what 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.479 he feels. So I tell people like, even though it 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:11.600 was abusing for me, but I still don't blame him 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.920 because he was a childish health You guys are trying 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:15.680 to figure it out. So you think if you're arguing 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.560 all the time and he's controlling, that's because he loves me. 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:20.720 I thought like even he with his hands on me, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.240 I thought that was love. Like I was like, oh 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:26.080 that's you know, he like he loved me, Like, but what, 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:27.800 I don't know what the hell was? Then you'l had 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:29.680 to be younger. You know, so many people go through 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.120 that though, because you don't know. You just feel like 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:33.599 when a man show you that type of love is like, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:36.360 oh he really cares because especially after when he's so 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:41.000 sorry and he's yeah, both crying. But once I got 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:43.440 over that girl was like I couldn't nigga, couldn't he 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:45.880 barely raise his voice at me, like no control and 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.560 like like I could I never could there anyone who 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:50.159 would even tell me what to do or try to 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:52.680 talk down on me or anything. It actually affects you 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:55.200 later on in life though. Now I feel you because 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:56.880 I think my dad always used to yell at my 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:58.320 mom all the time. So now if you raise your 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:01.800 voice at me, um, it's like a bad red flag 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.080 to That's what Walking used to tell. He's like, I'm 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.839 not talking down on you. And it was for years 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:10.599 I had so I realized like, Okay, yeah, maybe I'll 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.360 be tripping because I just like he could say one 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.400 thing like man, baby, you'll cook them. Well, oh I 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:18.600 don't cook no more, Like okay, you're talking down on me. 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:28.400 He's like you really don't cook nor so you become 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:32.720 like a little sensitive because you're so used to. Even 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:34.880 when we would play sometimes like we would play and 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:36.720 he would like jump to fest, I would like kind 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:39.760 of flinching. He's like walk, He's like baby, stop, He's 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.039 like oh like he would catch himself like we'll be playing, 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:44.400 but my reaction wild just be like He's like oh 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:46.960 my god, baby, like don't don't do that, like make 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:48.920 I feel like I'm about to do something. Yeah, He's like, 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.040 what's wrong? Like why you It really hurt him to 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.040 see me. I didn't think of it like that because 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:54.960 it was just reaction. It's like, but I'm not there. 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:57.000 I'm like, it's not. It ain't that seriously, like you know, 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.240 I just He's like, no, it is. You just don't know, 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:02.760 Like that looks crazy? What was the final straw then 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:08.039 that made you finally be like you know what? And why? 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:12.520 What's your first marriage? What was I was just I 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.760 was just done, like I didn't know who I was, like, 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:17.640 I just looked at I just looked crazy. I just 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:24.000 didn't feel I wasn't confident in myself. And I think 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:28.960 I remember he he cheated or I found out he 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:31.760 cheated or something, and that was just like this is 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:36.720 your way out right. I was like, oh, nigga, I'm gone. 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:39.640 I had never coming home. So when I left and 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:41.800 I'm from Baltimore, and when I started hanging out my 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:44.880 friends and people like damn, like where are you from, shorty? 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:47.400 And I'm like I'm Freere. They're like yeah, no, like 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:50.440 I've never seen you. I'm like, I'm from here. But 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.800 once I got out and I started dating this guy, 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.480 and I was like, oh, nigga, I ain't coming back. 0:07:58.160 --> 0:07:59.800 It doesn't mean that the next guy you dated to 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.920 it you way better and was completely different, like they 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.560 had like five or six months. It was just he 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:08.920 was just had a lot of money, and I was 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.680 he was just like just wanted me to do whatever 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:14.560 I wanted to do, like enjoy yourself, like just you young, 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:16.800 you just you know, live your life whatever. And I 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.880 was like, cool, this is this is pretty cool. It's 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:22.240 good right here. I just went the same person for 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.680 a while, so it's probably good to get a taste 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:31.200 of something new, right. So yeah, I was I just 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:34.040 thought that that was all. Guess all, I knew that 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:36.640 that's all it is, like it's just that person. And 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.040 then when you get out, like boy like then you 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:43.160 look back like you're really a clown. But that's what 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:45.640 I always say. When you're dating somebody and they treat 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:48.480 you really fucked up, and then you finally break up, 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.120 and then you look you always look back and you're 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:55.280 like what you h But you can't see it while 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:57.000 you're in it. And so it's so important when you 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:00.199 get that opportunity to leave. That's the hardest part is 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:03.199 really just leaving and then taking it like day by day, 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.319 every day it gets a little bit easier, but the 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:07.199 hardest part is just making that commitment to be like, 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.040 all right, I'm done with this. And you know, I 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:12.880 felt bad because when we separated, we are Everybody's like 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:14.959 he was going to the real rough time and everybody's 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:16.480 like dammy, And I felt bad and I was like 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.360 to the point where I was willing to go back, 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:21.200 but I was like, if you go back, you're gonna 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:25.000 be You can even go back and be miserable and 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.600 make him happy or leave be happy, and he eventually 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.400 find happiness. And I was like I couldn't do it. 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:32.760 I was just like, I just can't do it the more. 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:34.640 And being that you have a child together, how is 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:38.959 he now? Because you still have to be in contact 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.000 with him, It's clears ever we don't communicate the worst 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:45.920 communication never, Like it's like such a grudge there, Like 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:48.520 he hates me. He see you out here flourishing, right, 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:56.160 he hates me, hateslowed up and he then glowed. Yeah. 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.240 It's like guys, but for my daughter, you know what 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:02.160 I'm saying, Like, I just like it's so frustrating, frustrating 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:05.240 sometimes to have to Like he lives in Maryland, I 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.000 lives in Atlanta. I live in Atlanta, and um, I 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:10.600 have full custody, but she goes on like once a month, 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:14.079 and she go on summer. So it's it's hard to 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:15.959 do that, Like you know what I'm saying, Like, the 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:20.040 communication is nothing, So we communicate through an app. At 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.120 least your daughter is old enough that she can communicate 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:23.800 with you directly because it has to be heard. And 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.320 when she's young, Yeah, when she's young, she didn't know better, 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.560 so you couldn't. She didn't know. Now she's getting older 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.000 and she starts to see things and she kind of 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:34.839 like she starts to see like the little pettiness and 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:37.480 things that he might say to her due to her 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:39.160 that she knows. It's because it's a reflection to me, 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.959 you know what I'm saying. Like, so she's she's my 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.240 baby's twelve now, so she's got a baby. She's not 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:49.599 but she's like, you know, she's very mature. Yeah. What 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.880 about him and Waka did they ever have a conversation. 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:54.839 He's Walker's reached out to him numerous of times. He's 0:10:55.120 --> 0:11:00.360 never spoke to Walking he's better about to say, woman, 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:08.199 it's not a heavy man, it's just upset all right. Now, Normally, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.040 normally we start off with the tip of the day, 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:13.520 but we didn't start still. We're gonna get to that 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:17.720 right now, alright. So uh now, we get this question 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:19.840 all the time from guys. We have this advice thing 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:21.880 that we do, and people want to ask, how do 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.480 you get your girl back after you cheated? What works 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:26.839 and what doesn't work? Because there's so many guys out 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.200 there that mess up and don't know, like what can 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:30.760 I do to get my girl back? And we get 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.760 this question like NonStop. So let's talk about that for 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.160 all of us. When somebody cheating you and we know 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:45.200 you got cheated on, and but you start damn anybody 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:48.400 in this room, but we all but we all have 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:51.520 been you know, honestly, yours was just very public obviously. 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:53.800 But what does work? Because there's a lot of guys 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.400 who mess up, right and they're girl is like, I'm 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:58.280 not working with you anymore, But what works and what 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.960 doesn't work when it comes to get your girl back? 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.760 For me personally, I would say I don't think it's 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.439 what they do. It's really I mean it can be 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.760 what they do, but it's really a woman knows, like 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:15.360 really if she's just completely done. Like I'm a leo, 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:20.080 I'm loyal to by default, but when I'm completely done, 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:24.160 I'm like done. Um. Which when I when we separated, 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.760 I was just like I was like by like, just 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:28.640 don't come back, don't come my house like this, leave 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.400 me alone. Like he was not go away. He was 0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:35.319 coming to that. Yeah, he would not go away. And 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:37.360 then not even let him. I said, Okay, this is 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:38.880 what I'm gonna do to get him go away. I'm 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:40.960 gonna let him come in here, and I'm gonna let 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.600 him mess herself up. So I just kept my wall up. 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:45.800 I was just like what the first thing he did 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.679 and then getting the funk out he wouldn't. I mean, 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.840 it was so consistent. I thought it was a yeah, 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:52.640 like I thought it was an act. I was so 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.160 mean to the point that everybody was like, yo, you 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.439 really being like you're really a bit like and I'm 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.880 not like that. I can to you being mean, like 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.920 what's mean? Yeah? Girl, I was just I just didn't care, 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:04.920 like I would just say anything, do anything. I was 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:06.640 just and then he was like damn. I was like 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:10.240 when you can get the funk out, yeah, like you know, 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.200 and he would just eat it like he was just constant, 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:23.559 and he just came I know, I wouldn't even have 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.600 touched me, like he had to say in Charlie Room. 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:27.920 I just didn't want nothing to do with him. I 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.560 was like, I'm like, I'm just done. I would trying 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:32.720 to find reasons. I'm like, maybe if I'm real nasty 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:35.439 and mean, he'll leave. And then he was just like 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:37.840 because when we separated, I the last thing I told 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.280 him was I was like, I promise, I said, I 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:42.920 swear to God, on my child's life, I would never 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.439 love you the same. I was like, it's done. So 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:47.280 that stuck in my head. Was like a lot of him, 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:48.640 like a lot of myself. I can't lot to God, 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:50.599 you know, not on my child. But I was so 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:52.360 angry at the moment. I was like, I promised to God, 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:53.920 I would never love you the same. So when he 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:55.240 came back and I house and he was like one 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:56.599 day we got into and I was like, listen, I 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:58.520 met what I was saying there, like I would never 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:00.240 love you the same, and he was like, I know 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:01.800 you won't. He's like because you don't love me more. 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:10.360 He practiced that if I was like this, she told 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.920 me that he like, there's nothing I can say because 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.040 I'm like, wow, if I do love him, and which 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.679 in the end ended up happening, like and part of 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:20.840 it is your daughter because they had such a great relationship. 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.560 He's it made it so hard for you to be 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.200 like because she was like telling you, yeah, she I mean, 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.880 she don't see no no wrong in him, like she 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.480 loves him to death. But what I can't say is 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:34.200 even throughout our whole separation, he's like never he picked 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.640 her up from school, he dropped her off, and everybody 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.680 know that's not his biological child. But that I mean, 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:45.240 there is no blood couldn't make them. So that's interesting 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.400 because you told you let him come. Now, this is 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.320 something that guys have to learn when they sunk up. 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.680 If I let you back in, don't do nothing wrong 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.320 and just understand the fact that I'm gonna treat you 0:14:54.360 --> 0:15:01.880 like shit. Yeah yeah, but you know sometimes when you're 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:06.520 so damaged, that don't work down there, like I made it, 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.120 like how you said it. Now you're saying it, I'm confused. 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:16.200 She was saying, take it somewhere else. No, I don't 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.120 just shop sometimes that don't work. No, it don't like me. 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.120 I'm even like, I'm not gonna come. I don't care 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:27.760 what you think, Jody, I'm not gonna I love you. 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.080 I have an attitude when you're having sex and you're 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:35.440 mad as Hell's like, yeah, I'm just sucking lay hair'd 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.480 a hell, I'm not making annoy next thing though, you 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:46.080 forgive me. He was like, Bro, you gotta say I 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:51.320 don't catch my nu rude, like, I don't care, I 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:58.960 don't care, I need it now. What doesn't work if 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:01.200 you have to give guys, if it's like for when 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:03.200 they're trying to get back after they sucked up. What 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:09.240 doesn't work blaming? Tell me what I did wrong? Right? Yeah? Yeah, trying? 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.560 I just suck up. Because during that time you was, 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:15.320 you would talk to the don't want nothing, bring up 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:20.240 the older ship before I met you. You you know 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:22.720 you know you love me. So we're just gonna get 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:28.000 through this. What get yeah exactly all right, So excuses 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:30.280 does not work. You gotta just admit I sucked up 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:32.360 and just take it and don't blame sh on me, 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:34.680 don't blame I don't give a damn If what it was. 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.280 Don't play Okay, we had sex and too much. Don't 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.400 tell me why you wouldn't give me no pussy. I 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.880 don't care. I want to hear nothing. But that is 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:52.840 kind of sucked up? All right? What else doesn't work? Um? 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:55.400 And what? All right? No we didn't finish what does work? 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:58.280 Because you said basically he was very consistent, he said, 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:01.480 was in contact obviously, you know, with your daughter and 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:03.160 picking her up and doing all of that stuff and 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.240 just letting you treat him like ship. Yeah, he just 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:10.320 won't go away. Okay, but he really he really changed, 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:14.480 Like I can't show improved like he Yeah, you really 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:18.200 have to like consistently like change, like he really changed. 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.359 Like the guy he is now is not the guy 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:22.960 that he was like a minute. He's changed. And it 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:24.960 was suck to putting all that work for somebody else 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:29.080 to benefit. But I think sometimes you can't think like that. 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:31.679 You just be like so like I used to think 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.080 like that, like I ain't gonna like benefit. I'm girl. 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.639 I got to a like girl having have everything to 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:43.720 take my ship, my shoes all because I'm done because 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.840 we've all taken back and cheating guys so lurial Oh God, 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.439 what worked. We'll work for you because we're giving these 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:53.560 guys advice because maybe some of them are changing too, 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:57.200 that are listening. I think like you sat being consistent, 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:59.920 Like that's a big key. It's like if you keep 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.600 trying to show that you care, you change you and 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.399 not even that you change, because I don't believe that 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.680 somebody's gonna change just in one day, one week, that 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.280 you're willing to change, that you're gonna put in an effort, 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.760 you know what I mean something like that, Like everybody 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:16.840 makes mistakes, so you can't expect somebody to never do 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.680 nothing wrong. But at the same time, I think it's 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:22.520 like the main thing is like all right, they might 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:25.040 have cheated or whatever, but what they're disrespecting you in 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:28.760 a way where it's like, all right, you you could 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:31.000 find a picture, or you could find this, or you 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.520 could find I know. That's what makes it. I think 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:35.119 that's what makes it works for us, because if we 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:37.800 find out something that maybe they sucked somebody when they 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:41.520 was on the boys trip, you know last year, one 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:48.960 of the boys, not one of the boys. First of all, 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:51.840 you don't never have to call me again. Ain't no 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:56.359 forgiving that So okay, you can't forget oh boy, No, 0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:59.080 but you have some women that take men back when 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:01.240 they found out that they would other gods are transgender. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:05.920 It's different. See. No, I don't think we talked about 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:08.399 that insecure incident a little bit when he said he 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:14.520 did something in college. Boy. Yeah that's a boy damnien 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:18.119 like two is one time, so what you would you 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:21.080 wouldn't mess with him? No more? Hell no, but that 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:23.560 was mad long ago. He never did nothing again. No, 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:27.640 I just wanted to can't do that. I don't want 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:30.280 to be in that situation. So I don't even because nigga, 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:32.280 you you like, I don't care what you say you 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.800 liked it, because a man, I can't do for you. 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:37.200 A man, A man knows how they like. They think, 0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:40.040 you know, suck the tap. But what do you think 0:19:40.080 --> 0:19:41.399 it was? Like? I didn't really like it, man, that 0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:47.520 beard was I came in his beard and looked weird. 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:49.960 But you didn't even for you to even think that 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.320 that was like appropriate, Like no, shade, no to so 0:19:53.440 --> 0:20:00.560 you never mess for any girls who met me. I 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:06.560 didn't say that. I'm still experiencing life, but that doesn't 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:12.040 mean No'm I am curious okay, I'm curious, but I 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.240 don't know that's okay. I know I'm not gay. I 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:16.639 could never girl. I don't even like females enough like 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.800 that to be living with one, right right? So what 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:21.120 if he said that he's like, well, I don't really 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:25.639 like guys. Yeah, that's okay. Would you got to have 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:28.840 a gay daughter or gay sun? Damn, that's sucked up. 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:35.440 I don't know. I love either one, just saying oh, yeah, 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:41.840 that's the perfect here we know that. Yeah, does my 0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:53.440 son do here? Here? Too? Does he makes are so selfish? 0:20:56.080 --> 0:20:59.399 You have a answer for the Yeah, so Jesus. I 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:02.720 agree with both Tammy and Loriol said, But I want 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:07.640 to add to that that UM taking accountability for your actions. 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:12.160 Put you're all out on the table taking it, taking 0:21:12.160 --> 0:21:16.800 accountability for your actions and sincerely apologizing as well as, 0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:19.159 like you said, he changed and was persistent and all 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:23.800 of that. I think a nice A nice get nice 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:30.480 along with two you know that, a little bonus round, 0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:36.000