Speaker 1: Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Hello Loves. I am so happy to welcome
Speaker 1: you to today's episode because you're about to meet one
Speaker 1: of the sweetest, most insightful humans that I know. Matt
Speaker 1: Con is a best selling author and spiritual teacher and
Speaker 1: healer focused on a message that is definitely close to
Speaker 1: my heart and when the world could benefit greatly from
Speaker 1: embracing love, love, love love. I'm so thrilled to have
Speaker 1: him here to crack open our hearts and mind. So
Speaker 1: care we go sing that say me, Hello, my friend
Speaker 1: Matt Con. Welcome to the Holy Human podcast. Thank you well,
Speaker 1: thank you for having me. It's an honor to be here. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about this conversation because we when we talk,
Speaker 1: I always feel like we have such beautiful conversations and
Speaker 1: you have such deep wisdom to share. So I'm excited
Speaker 1: for the listeners to get to hear you and and
Speaker 1: here it comes out today, so well, thank you. It's
Speaker 1: you know, it's funny because as I have been throughout
Speaker 1: my career channeling and just letting it come through, um,
Speaker 1: I get to hear everything for the first time as
Speaker 1: everyone gets to hear, so it's always a nice little discovery.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. I wasn't expecting to start here, but you
Speaker 1: just said channeling, which I find so interesting. How would
Speaker 1: you explain channeling to people? I think that channeling, you know,
Speaker 1: for a lot of people as artists, because within every
Speaker 1: being as an artist, so whether we have moments of
Speaker 1: inspiration or the gut instinct of a parent, or I
Speaker 1: just know something spontaneously and for me, um, and it
Speaker 1: happens in a deeper way where I've discovered this ability
Speaker 1: to where when I'm working with people are on stage,
Speaker 1: I just allow the universe or my higher self for
Speaker 1: my soul. However you'd want to call it to kind
Speaker 1: of work through me and speak through me. You know,
Speaker 1: for a lot of people when they first started doing this,
Speaker 1: it feels like they're just, oh God, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm even making sense. Does it resonate? And is
Speaker 1: this nonsense? There might just kind of um, but really
Speaker 1: it's it's a process where we allow our highest wisdom
Speaker 1: to speak through us. And traditionally, in channeling, one would
Speaker 1: put their personality aside and let something come through. And
Speaker 1: for me, I'm I'm known as what's called an open
Speaker 1: or embody channel where there is no moving aside. It's
Speaker 1: just on a clear space in which the wisdom and
Speaker 1: the love of the universe can pour through in the
Speaker 1: words and and even as people hear the sound of
Speaker 1: my voice, there's a healing energy that comes through. So
Speaker 1: I just I kind of live as just this connection
Speaker 1: between heaven and Earth and bringing um a powerful level
Speaker 1: of healing energy to help people during this uh, really
Speaker 1: uncertain time. I guess anybody can be a channel, and
Speaker 1: I mean I know that I've channeled myself. I channel
Speaker 1: my music all the time, and when I'm on stage,
Speaker 1: like when I do move out of my own way.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because it's the only time I'll ever use
Speaker 1: the word perfection, because I feel like that's the only
Speaker 1: time I ever touch it is uh when I feel
Speaker 1: lost in not lost, actually I feel found in a
Speaker 1: lot of ways. UM, But I feel like you're saying,
Speaker 1: like there's no there's no separation between the gift and
Speaker 1: what's moving through me and the experience and me as
Speaker 1: a human being in the moment, like it all becomes
Speaker 1: one unified thing and it's a beautiful experience. I wish
Speaker 1: that experience for everyone do you feel like there's things
Speaker 1: that act like block your channel Over the last many years, UM,
Speaker 1: for the last twelve years, I've been living in this
Speaker 1: state of connection where you know, for a lot of people,
Speaker 1: they'll connect under certain uh situation circumstances, They'll bring it
Speaker 1: through and they kind of go back to their personal
Speaker 1: self to take their superhero cape off and then go
Speaker 1: back to being, you know, just a person. For me,
Speaker 1: I live in this space and I had to go
Speaker 1: through a large amount of healing for many years to
Speaker 1: be able to do that. UM. In the meeting of
Speaker 1: my career, I was talking to someone and they said, oh,
Speaker 1: well you have to you know, connect in and connect out,
Speaker 1: and it just seemed like a lot of work. And
Speaker 1: I thought, the universe, I'd rather just live in the
Speaker 1: space and whatever I need to just embody this. I'd
Speaker 1: rather take that journey. And you know, for all of us,
Speaker 1: you know, this type of experience is happening, is going
Speaker 1: to happen. A lot of types of people are channeling
Speaker 1: and they don't actually know it. It's but it's really
Speaker 1: just more about instead of thinking that what I need
Speaker 1: to change in my reality needs to happen under any
Speaker 1: circumstances or any means necessary. The real question is which
Speaker 1: version of myself is doing the changing and the creating,
Speaker 1: and so channeling and spiritual alignment is really about getting
Speaker 1: to know and tuning in and connecting with the most
Speaker 1: infinite and powerful You. And as you become more in
Speaker 1: relationship with the most powerful You, that's when we start
Speaker 1: to see our perceptions of uh, the perceptions we have
Speaker 1: our circumstances start to change. And when we realize is
Speaker 1: we don't actually need to change as much about our
Speaker 1: life as we think. We actually just need to learn
Speaker 1: how to perceive and relate to it from a different
Speaker 1: level of consciousness. That's what I find that a lot
Speaker 1: of your teachings, as I've followed them for the many
Speaker 1: years now, have helped me to to perceive life from
Speaker 1: a different perspective. And I would love to say that
Speaker 1: I live in that place every day, but I'm just
Speaker 1: saying that to my husband. I was like, Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: all the beautiful teachings that I they, I do live
Speaker 1: from that space every so often. And then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I feel like, you know, you pop back
Speaker 1: into old ways and habits and just old grooves. I
Speaker 1: like to call them because I feel like those grooves
Speaker 1: have been They're so they're so groovy, they're so like,
Speaker 1: they're so ingrained, they're so ingrained in us. And I
Speaker 1: know when I started on my healing journey, it was
Speaker 1: like I would have two days that would feel really connected,
Speaker 1: and then like eight days backwards, and then three days,
Speaker 1: and then it kind of goes back and forth, and
Speaker 1: eventually you start to the more the new grooves you know,
Speaker 1: start to UH to take place and take form, Like
Speaker 1: I started to live in those uh in a different
Speaker 1: kind of perspective more often. And that's what your teachings
Speaker 1: for me, I think have have really helped create new grooves.
Speaker 1: And one of my favorite teachings that I ended up
Speaker 1: sharing on stage because I found it so beautifully heart
Speaker 1: ng was one where you had people UH say I
Speaker 1: love you to themselves and which, by the way, if
Speaker 1: you haven't done that, and I've I've watched people on stage,
Speaker 1: um grown men like, first off, look around, like, what
Speaker 1: the hell is Leon Rhymes having me do? I didn't
Speaker 1: expect this at her concert? What did my wife dragged
Speaker 1: me to? And then all of a sudden, as they
Speaker 1: start saying it, they break down in tears, which moves
Speaker 1: me to tears on stage most of the time. I
Speaker 1: I just wondered if you could speak on why that
Speaker 1: teaching itself, why self love is so important for our
Speaker 1: evolution and how we find it amidst the shame and
Speaker 1: guilt that we all carry. Yeah, what a great question.
Speaker 1: And you know when I saw you leave the I
Speaker 1: Love yous on stage, it touched my heart so deeply
Speaker 1: and moved me to tears just to see you know,
Speaker 1: that type of consciousness just permeating more of our world
Speaker 1: and being a part of a concert we stop and
Speaker 1: heal our hearts and just when you I just want
Speaker 1: to thank you for doing that. When you do that,
Speaker 1: it moved me. I actually thought about it last week
Speaker 1: just I always think about that. I just go it
Speaker 1: really really was was quite life changing for me. And
Speaker 1: I think what you just to kind of simplify all
Speaker 1: of this is that when we're on a spiritual journey,
Speaker 1: we often want to know all of what the universe knows,
Speaker 1: and we're on a journey of looking for insight. Why
Speaker 1: did this happen to me? And all these kind of things,
Speaker 1: which is wonderful and beautiful, but on a heart center,
Speaker 1: path in which all my teachings come from. What we
Speaker 1: notice is is not about knowing what the universe knows. Right.
Speaker 1: The universe is a cloud and it knows it all
Speaker 1: for you, and it brings you every file you need
Speaker 1: exactly when you need it. The real key to spiritual
Speaker 1: alignment is not do I know what the universe knows?
Speaker 1: Have I begun the process of treating myself and seeing
Speaker 1: myself the way the universe does. And so when we
Speaker 1: are loving ourselves, because as the universe source whatever you
Speaker 1: would call it, is made up of the energy of
Speaker 1: unconditional love that we see as light. The more we
Speaker 1: love ourselves, the more we are saying I wish to
Speaker 1: know myself as the universe. I wish to receive all
Speaker 1: the love and support the universe always has for me.
Speaker 1: And I'm willing to make a shift to see myself
Speaker 1: more as the universe and less as the character. That
Speaker 1: is a reflection of my family's need for healing. And
Speaker 1: as we love ourselves, we are literally giving permission for
Speaker 1: the door of the heart to open, and any wounds
Speaker 1: that are ready to be returned and cleared and healed
Speaker 1: just come pouring out through an emotional release. And so
Speaker 1: under and because of the laws of unity consciousness, because
Speaker 1: we're all connected on the soul level. As we heal
Speaker 1: our hearts by loving ourselves, those I love use are
Speaker 1: planted as see needs of consciousness in every heart and existence.
Speaker 1: So imagine you just loving yourself to be a part
Speaker 1: of your healing journey, and grief pours out of your heart,
Speaker 1: or guilt and shame pours out. In that moment, you
Speaker 1: are not only sending love to every person in existence,
Speaker 1: but you're also helping to heal all of what you're
Speaker 1: healing in yourself just by loving yourself more, not less.
Speaker 1: And as we continue to evolve under these most unprecedented times,
Speaker 1: we're living in truly an incredible time right now, the
Speaker 1: need for self love is only going to increase and
Speaker 1: become more important because it's the more we love ourselves
Speaker 1: that the more we're able to respond to others from
Speaker 1: place of compassion instead of a place of opposition. And
Speaker 1: this is really going to be the cornerstone of what
Speaker 1: really helps turn our world around. It's interesting because I
Speaker 1: remember when I first started the whole self love journey, which,
Speaker 1: by the way I feel, is probably one of the
Speaker 1: ife not the most difficult piece of our journey, because
Speaker 1: I mean I still struggle with it depending on the day.
Speaker 1: I was like, what does that even look like? And
Speaker 1: what does that feel like? I know how to love
Speaker 1: other people? Or do I? I was actually started thinking
Speaker 1: or do I? Because do I really know what that?
Speaker 1: What love is? How do people even know that they're
Speaker 1: loving themselves? I mean, to me, what I've learned, I
Speaker 1: guess along my way is that I give myself a
Speaker 1: lot more grace. What is self love? Along your journey?
Speaker 1: What does that looked like for you? And how did
Speaker 1: you know that that was opening more and more? That's
Speaker 1: a very interesting question. I think for me the word
Speaker 1: that that I have found for a lot of people's
Speaker 1: resident because love just as a just as a word.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we grow up in families where people say they
Speaker 1: love us and they do very hurtful things, or we
Speaker 1: are trying to be loved by someone who is shut
Speaker 1: down in their own lives, and as children we often say, well,
Speaker 1: what do I have to do to earn their love?
Speaker 1: And then if we don't receive that, we feel like
Speaker 1: we haven't done enough to earn it. And there's in
Speaker 1: so many levels of the subconscious mind there are so
Speaker 1: many associations to love being a form of reward and
Speaker 1: a lack of love being a form of punishment, And
Speaker 1: with parenting and children, it can get very confusing when
Speaker 1: you're trying to shape the lives of young, impressionable minds.
Speaker 1: And so what I like to use as a word
Speaker 1: is support. So you know you're loving yourself when you're
Speaker 1: taking a more active role in supporting yourself. So, for example,
Speaker 1: let's say you had a day and it didn't go
Speaker 1: your way. From the egos point of view, it doesn't
Speaker 1: want to love itself because it doesn't want to spend
Speaker 1: more time as an unpopular character and its own perception.
Speaker 1: But in our soul we say, my god, I've had
Speaker 1: such a rough day. Isn't this the time that I
Speaker 1: need more support than ever before? More so, we really
Speaker 1: want to break the spell of love being a reward
Speaker 1: for good behavior and the absence of love being a
Speaker 1: punishment for inappropriate behavior. We want to be able to say,
Speaker 1: as I support myself more, which could be I encourage
Speaker 1: myself to pursue my dreams. As you said, I give
Speaker 1: myself grace when I'm not my best and my highest,
Speaker 1: and I always give myself words of encouragement, I show
Speaker 1: myself gratitude for all that I'm doing right. Support for
Speaker 1: me is is a more resident, practical term of of
Speaker 1: of self love, because again we can rope in love
Speaker 1: with romance and all these other things, and how do
Speaker 1: people just lie there and love themselves? And it really
Speaker 1: is just I am aspiring to be the most active
Speaker 1: supporter and encourager in my life, and I'm here to
Speaker 1: allow myself to know that things are going to be
Speaker 1: okay because I'm here with me. I love that word
Speaker 1: support in the place of it. Yeah, thank you. That
Speaker 1: actually brought me so much clarity. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what feels good. You know. One of the things I
Speaker 1: love about your teachings is that you um you try,
Speaker 1: you try and teach so that we are unable to
Speaker 1: use the teaching itself against ourselves, which I find genius
Speaker 1: and I'm sure, as you know, all of our human,
Speaker 1: beautiful human minds can find a way, we will find
Speaker 1: a way to use it against ourselves. Can you talk
Speaker 1: about in what ways do we use these practices against ourselves?
Speaker 1: And how can we grant ourselves more grace with these
Speaker 1: practices and utilize them for our own healing instead of
Speaker 1: our own self flagellation. Basically, yeah, that's a great that's
Speaker 1: a great way of saying it. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of times, you know, when people are meditating or doing
Speaker 1: these things, I think it really comes down to our intention,
Speaker 1: like why am I doing this? Am I really doing
Speaker 1: this to heal myself? Am I doing this to deepen
Speaker 1: my relationships with myself so I can be a better
Speaker 1: partner in my relationship, a better supporter from my friends.
Speaker 1: And I think, really what's amazing is, you know, these
Speaker 1: really unprecedented times, As much as we can say these
Speaker 1: are very unpopular times, I think it's really amazing that
Speaker 1: it really puts us in a position to really focus
Speaker 1: and clarify our intention, you know. And I think there's
Speaker 1: a lot of teachings, and it's not the teachings fault
Speaker 1: necessarily that we tend to use against ourselves. It's almost
Speaker 1: like a punishment, like I need to whip myself into shape,
Speaker 1: or if I'm not the exact version of myself, I
Speaker 1: need to be what do I need to dig out
Speaker 1: inside of myself? And it tends to be a little
Speaker 1: bit of of a judgmental way to try to improve
Speaker 1: ourselves where really what we're looking to improve is if
Speaker 1: I can improve the quality of how I support myself,
Speaker 1: if I can improve the quality of how I talk
Speaker 1: to myself, if I can improve the quality of how
Speaker 1: I embrace and honor all parts of myself right, not
Speaker 1: to justify, but just to honor. You know, within all
Speaker 1: of us are going to be strengths and weaknesses and imbalances.
Speaker 1: And if I can start to have a more thoughtful,
Speaker 1: loving relationship with myself, then the way I see others
Speaker 1: is going to change, and that's going to cause new
Speaker 1: experiences to enter my reality. And so I really think
Speaker 1: that on a heart center path, one of the greatest
Speaker 1: things we're learning is we're not punishing ourselves with spiritual work.
Speaker 1: It's actually a gift, and we need to learn how
Speaker 1: to approach ourselves. Like if we went to a spa
Speaker 1: and you have some sort of a person that who
Speaker 1: greets you with the soft voice and says hello, welcome,
Speaker 1: this is your day of nurture. So if the work
Speaker 1: you're doing on yourself doesn't feel like a day at
Speaker 1: the spa, we're probably going in an unhelpful direction. Ah,
Speaker 1: why we all just dream away at a day at
Speaker 1: the SPA. At this moment, we'll take a break and
Speaker 1: we'll be right back with more heart center, direction and
Speaker 1: guidance with Matt on right up this Welcome Back Loves.
Speaker 1: We were just talking about self kindness in terms of
Speaker 1: self care. I know for my own self, that's the
Speaker 1: way I was taught. We all have been. It's like,
Speaker 1: you work hard, and you there has to be the
Speaker 1: voice in the head that continues to tell you, but
Speaker 1: basically brate you, so that you can prove to it
Speaker 1: that you're doing a great job and you know, and
Speaker 1: it's there's never the softness. How do we begin to
Speaker 1: stay angered in the idea that everything is here to
Speaker 1: help us? How do we lean into that wholeness and
Speaker 1: the fullness of our our emotional experience and trusting the
Speaker 1: universe in that way. I think it's a great question,
Speaker 1: and I think you know, when we think about everything
Speaker 1: is here to help us, I think people immediately jumped
Speaker 1: to this perspective that says, well, if everything is here
Speaker 1: to help me, then then that means the greatest atrocities
Speaker 1: I've ever faced must be okay. And then people find
Speaker 1: in themselves this resistance too. No, no, it's not okay,
Speaker 1: And so I just want to be able to say
Speaker 1: that when we're looking for everything is here to help us.
Speaker 1: Where we're really trusting a higher level of intelligent order,
Speaker 1: the universe, light, God, whatever work, consciousness, whatever resonates with
Speaker 1: us that the characters in our lives don't. Even if
Speaker 1: a character in your life said, land, here's why I'm
Speaker 1: here in your life, it's still not the reason why
Speaker 1: they're in your life. Right. People are wonderful, and I
Speaker 1: love people, but we're all kind of these like little
Speaker 1: wind up toys, right, And there's a higher order that
Speaker 1: is putting wind up toys around other wind up toys
Speaker 1: for the purpose of what evolution is going to bring
Speaker 1: to the surface. So I think that, you know, the
Speaker 1: really helpful distinction is knowing that as a ault of
Speaker 1: everything we've all gone through and will continue to face,
Speaker 1: we will always come out the other end better versions
Speaker 1: of ourselves. But it doesn't mean that pain, atrocity and
Speaker 1: abuse is okay. And I think that it's the same
Speaker 1: way people get caught in forgiveness that if I forgive someone,
Speaker 1: it means it was okay that this happened. And there's
Speaker 1: an innocence in us that who experienced pain and abuse
Speaker 1: and neglect and all of these things that says it's
Speaker 1: not okay, and on a human level, it's not okay.
Speaker 1: And in fact, right now the world is going through
Speaker 1: such a massive transformation because the way things have been
Speaker 1: is so not okay. We're evolving to a vibration where
Speaker 1: this no longer has to occur. And so I think
Speaker 1: that sometimes in the beginning, when we think, you know,
Speaker 1: people think, I don't want to open up to the
Speaker 1: benefit of an experience that I've decided was not okay,
Speaker 1: abuse of and took advantage of me, And so I
Speaker 1: think we just have to kind of approach it with
Speaker 1: softness and say it's not okay that this happened. And yet,
Speaker 1: no matter whether I like what happens or I hate
Speaker 1: what happens, I'm always going to become a higher version
Speaker 1: of myself down the road. And if I can learn
Speaker 1: to love and support myself through these experiences, I'm going
Speaker 1: to wind up becoming that higher version sooner, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna embody in a deeper level, and I can shine
Speaker 1: a light that helps to heal other people so that
Speaker 1: none of these things that are not okay continues to occur,
Speaker 1: and in that evolution, there's a lot of death in
Speaker 1: that evolution, and I think we're all going through some
Speaker 1: massive amounts of of death in this moment in time.
Speaker 1: I heard you speak on this a bit the other day.
Speaker 1: I was wondering if you could speak on why it's
Speaker 1: so important for us to come to terms with death
Speaker 1: and dying um while we're still living. I think when
Speaker 1: we face death before death finds us, you know, so
Speaker 1: to speak, that's what awakening really is. Where you actually
Speaker 1: experience the death of the old you, but you're not
Speaker 1: leaving your body. You're not going to the afterlife quite,
Speaker 1: You're just going through a psychological death. And some of
Speaker 1: us experience that we change careers or when we become comparents, UM.
Speaker 1: But you know, really we're always experiencing some form of
Speaker 1: death because things begin an end, things are gained, things
Speaker 1: are lost, Everything that comes will go. And and as
Speaker 1: we really make peace with death, what we allow ourselves
Speaker 1: to do is really see that death as a doorway
Speaker 1: into rebirth and renewal. We are constantly in a flux
Speaker 1: of change, and if we are going to find comfort
Speaker 1: in needing things to be a specific way, whatever that is,
Speaker 1: how we define ourselves. That's refined ourselves really clinging and
Speaker 1: scarcity and really lost in survival mode. And what we
Speaker 1: ultimately learn to do is we find our comfort in change,
Speaker 1: not trying to find comfort while we change. And what's
Speaker 1: amazing is the difference between someone who is scared of change,
Speaker 1: someone who knows what needs to change, but is you know,
Speaker 1: afraid of the daunting task of implementing it, or someone
Speaker 1: who thrives in an environment of constant change. The difference
Speaker 1: between all of that is simply how you treat yourself.
Speaker 1: And I think as we start to really see and
Speaker 1: and and unearthed, wow, like my perception of fear versus
Speaker 1: excitement is the difference between how I love myself or
Speaker 1: don't love myself. The difference between me seeing something from
Speaker 1: one perspective or another is really determined by how open
Speaker 1: I allow my heart to be. And so these are
Speaker 1: really really crucial times we're living in because it gives
Speaker 1: us a chance to practice this under the most incredible circumstances.
Speaker 1: And we're all right now living in a world where
Speaker 1: as a result of COVID and all these changes and
Speaker 1: social distancings and shutting down, and we're all waiting for
Speaker 1: the normal life to come back. The world right now
Speaker 1: is in a collective grief cycle, and so we are
Speaker 1: mourning the loss of what used to be, hoping what
Speaker 1: used to be comes back, trying to negotiate what do
Speaker 1: I need to do to get it that way? And really,
Speaker 1: I think, you know, teachings like this give us a
Speaker 1: chance to stop and say, something in me is unraveling,
Speaker 1: something in me is dissolving, and it's my loving support
Speaker 1: that's going to address and hold space for the healing
Speaker 1: that I have a chance to be a part of.
Speaker 1: And as we do that, the world starts to heal differently.
Speaker 1: We don't have to have as much violence and upheaval
Speaker 1: to distract ourselves from this rather uncomfortable unraveling. We can
Speaker 1: actually just say it is my heartfelt support that allows
Speaker 1: the healing of my heart and the transformation of the
Speaker 1: world to unfold miraculous sleep instead of intensely. And I
Speaker 1: think that's really the choice we're all starting to make
Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, I mean, gosh, I definitely feel like
Speaker 1: I don't think I realized how deep of a grief
Speaker 1: this whole world was going through until for me personally
Speaker 1: the other day and um. Yesterday, actually, I was was
Speaker 1: on the couch for the whole day, and it was
Speaker 1: the first time I recognized I was allowing myself to grieve.
Speaker 1: It's not like if someone had to die for me
Speaker 1: to feel grief. There's so much that's dying. There's so
Speaker 1: many dreams that we've had a collective death that's happening. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, all of these uh structures in the way
Speaker 1: that we have created life on this planet are truly
Speaker 1: falling away and in desperate need of it. Um. And
Speaker 1: I I've actually was by the way, it's really small,
Speaker 1: um exciting celebration for me, but I actually allowed myself
Speaker 1: to lay there and feel it yesterday, And I remember
Speaker 1: that end of the day, I was like, Wow, I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever done that. I don't think I've
Speaker 1: actually ever fully tapped into that and will allowed the
Speaker 1: love for myself enough love to have a day where
Speaker 1: I didn't expect myself to do anything else. And I
Speaker 1: think because of this go go go pace we've all
Speaker 1: lived in. I know I'm not the only one that
Speaker 1: feels like they can't they don't have the time to grief,
Speaker 1: Like we don't have the time to feel these emotions,
Speaker 1: and I don't think we have an option anymore, almost,
Speaker 1: is what it feels like. Um. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: what you know, what you're saying, what I hear you're saying,
Speaker 1: is that we have an option and we have a
Speaker 1: choice in the way that we treat ourselves within that grief. Um.
Speaker 1: But the grief is coming like, it's here, absolutely, And
Speaker 1: I think it's a great I think it's a great
Speaker 1: point to make when you talk. Where I get as
Speaker 1: a vision is I get a vision of like a
Speaker 1: swimming pool filled with tears, right, And this is the
Speaker 1: swimming pool filled with tears is human entities, unprocessed pain.
Speaker 1: And the more we love ourselves, the more we like
Speaker 1: you so beautifully put find the courage and conviction to
Speaker 1: give ourselves the space too, you know, not just hide
Speaker 1: behind the masks of strength, but allow ourselves to go
Speaker 1: into the vulnerability, to go into the difficult emotions, to
Speaker 1: go into the spaces where you don't know what's going on,
Speaker 1: where you don't have the answers, where you don't have control.
Speaker 1: And if you imagine the world like this, this swimming
Speaker 1: pool of tears, every tear that shed in the world
Speaker 1: drains this pool of pain slowly. But as each of
Speaker 1: us start to wake up in consciousness and love ourselves
Speaker 1: enough to say, I'm going to allow processing my emotions
Speaker 1: to be just as important as anything else I do
Speaker 1: in the world. And you sat there all day and
Speaker 1: just cried and let it out, let it out, that
Speaker 1: pool drains faster, and we get to a point where
Speaker 1: humanity heals faster, so instead of just a tear being
Speaker 1: shed by infinite people and that process happening slower. So
Speaker 1: many of us, as empathic, heart centered beings, are not
Speaker 1: just purging our experience of grief, but really what we
Speaker 1: are is we are purging the grief of the world.
Speaker 1: And even as you wake up in consciousness in the beginning,
Speaker 1: it's all about you are trying to heal your wounds.
Speaker 1: And then at a certain point you realize, oh, it's
Speaker 1: just my experience of humanity's wounds, and it takes on
Speaker 1: a much more global process, and it's actually easier to
Speaker 1: face your feelings when you realize what you're healing is
Speaker 1: your history of experience, which is just your contribution to
Speaker 1: what humanity is healing as a whole. I love that,
Speaker 1: and I think it's the first time because I feel
Speaker 1: like I've been healing my wounds for a long time, um,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure a lot of us have. It's the
Speaker 1: first time I'm really seeing and feeling into how deeply
Speaker 1: we are connected to one another. When it becomes less
Speaker 1: about our own solid you know what feels like such
Speaker 1: a solid mass of our own pain, we realize that
Speaker 1: it's not just this block that lives within us, but
Speaker 1: it is something we are truly tapped into with one another.
Speaker 1: The empathy grows and it's a beautiful thing. Well, and
Speaker 1: I think you know, for anyone who's listening to this
Speaker 1: right now, you know, as an experiment, notice how when
Speaker 1: you think that what you're healing is yours, you're less
Speaker 1: likely to face it. You have more in patience as
Speaker 1: to how long you're willing to feel it, and you're
Speaker 1: often distracted by who do I blame and what do
Speaker 1: I need to fix in order to change this because
Speaker 1: we're still perceiving like a punishment versus a reward of healing.
Speaker 1: And then on the opposite side, notice that when it's
Speaker 1: not necessarily yours, but your experience of what you're healing
Speaker 1: for humanity, notice how there can be more of an
Speaker 1: openness to feeling what we don't normally allow ourselves to feel.
Speaker 1: Notice that we can actually go deeper into the feeling
Speaker 1: when it's not necessarily mine, but it's our healing at hand.
Speaker 1: And I think that's a really interesting distinction, because a
Speaker 1: lot of us want to do the healing, but it's
Speaker 1: just it's so difficult. And I think it's difficult because
Speaker 1: the memories that these emotions represent were during times when
Speaker 1: it was your life, your fault, your devastation, your heartbreak,
Speaker 1: your resentment, you know, your neglect, all these things, and
Speaker 1: and and as we love ourselves, it becomes strangely less personal.
Speaker 1: And when it becomes less personal, we're able to be
Speaker 1: more present with the intensity of emotion. And then when
Speaker 1: we're interacting in the world, when we have a better
Speaker 1: relationship with emotion, we can be there for other people
Speaker 1: and take less personally the way or people may respond
Speaker 1: and act as a result of not knowing the depths
Speaker 1: of the healing journey they're in. M Yeah, And you know,
Speaker 1: we talked so much about pain and grief on this side,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about the opposite of it. And
Speaker 1: I think you have such an interesting view on happiness
Speaker 1: and I happiness. It's such a touchy word because I
Speaker 1: feel like we've all been for our whole lives. We've
Speaker 1: been told to, you know, chase happiness, and like happiness
Speaker 1: is going to be the end all, and once we
Speaker 1: get to happiness, like everything will be fine and you know,
Speaker 1: there will be normal pain. And how we go about
Speaker 1: looking for happiness in our lives has been, like I said,
Speaker 1: it's been a chase. And I think you have such
Speaker 1: a beautiful outlook on what true happiness is and how
Speaker 1: do we start to tap into that joy in the
Speaker 1: midst of all of this grief. It's such a great
Speaker 1: question to ask. So we all have different ideas of happiness,
Speaker 1: and a lot of us say, Okay, when I have
Speaker 1: this career, when I have this in my bank account,
Speaker 1: when I have this relation ship, I'm going to be happy.
Speaker 1: And I think what's really funny about happiness is if
Speaker 1: you really play out what you think needs to change
Speaker 1: in order to be happy, you know, everyone would play
Speaker 1: out different details. Maybe I'd have a different car, you know, whatever,
Speaker 1: The tails are a different relationship out of all this stuff, right,
Speaker 1: Imagine he had all the money in the bank that
Speaker 1: you think you need and if people play it out
Speaker 1: long enough. What I think is really funny is that
Speaker 1: the fantasy of happiness is I would have all of
Speaker 1: these things so that finally I could be left alone.
Speaker 1: And I think what's really funny about happiness is the
Speaker 1: fantasy of happiness as we all want the right to
Speaker 1: afford being left alone. And yet when we love ourselves,
Speaker 1: we're kind of no longer picking at ourselves, and we're
Speaker 1: actually giving ourselves the actual fantasy we really want, like
Speaker 1: kind of like someone who doesn't have a job and
Speaker 1: then gets the career opportunity of a lifetime, and now
Speaker 1: everyone's pulling at them and they have all these were sponsibilities,
Speaker 1: and now they get to fantasize about going on vacation
Speaker 1: and being left alone. Like everything comes down to what
Speaker 1: we really want is the right to be left alone.
Speaker 1: So we'll look at us though right now we've been
Speaker 1: we're being left alone, like we are alone, like literally,
Speaker 1: and nobody's happy, and the universe is looking down going,
Speaker 1: why aren't you happy? That's all you wanted was to
Speaker 1: be left alone. Now we call it social distancing, right,
Speaker 1: and understand what you want. People. It's a really funny
Speaker 1: thing that when you love yourself. It's both. I spend
Speaker 1: more time saying nice things to myself and I'm not
Speaker 1: picking at myself, so I really leave myself alone. Either
Speaker 1: there's no inner critic and we give ourselves. What we
Speaker 1: really want is we all want to be left alone
Speaker 1: with the fantasy that nothing will be taken from us,
Speaker 1: which you know, but it's it's a very funny thing
Speaker 1: to think about. Um, you know what I have found
Speaker 1: in my life as far as happiness and I've I
Speaker 1: can remember since I started school and meeting other kids
Speaker 1: and you know, all that kind of stuff. I remember
Speaker 1: feeling the intense pressure of like everyone is working hard
Speaker 1: to be the most popular kid in school, right. I
Speaker 1: remember being a young, like little politician, like trying to
Speaker 1: make sure everyone likes me and trying to make sure
Speaker 1: no one's against me. And if I hear rumors about me,
Speaker 1: I got to spread more truthful ones and all this
Speaker 1: stuff and I actually found in my life, and this
Speaker 1: happened spontaneously, that the nicer I was to other people,
Speaker 1: especially if they weren't nice to me, the happier I was.
Speaker 1: I found personally that my sense of happiness is determined
Speaker 1: by my level of politeness. And it's not based on
Speaker 1: what people are doing. It's it's based on my respect
Speaker 1: for myself. And as I kept experimenting with this throughout
Speaker 1: my life and kind of geeking out on politeness, like
Speaker 1: I'd even meet like a little a little boy and
Speaker 1: I'd say hello, sir, I am, and that's what I
Speaker 1: do because it's just I find that being polite and
Speaker 1: genuine has been this incredible force that is ripped my
Speaker 1: heart wide open, and it has created this level of
Speaker 1: power in me where even when the world is going crazy,
Speaker 1: it doesn't lower the quality of my behavior. And that's
Speaker 1: really when you're totally free, is when your behavior is
Speaker 1: not determined by the behavior of others. Well, that's a
Speaker 1: teaching that I feel like I could use against myself
Speaker 1: for me because I feel like it's interesting because that's
Speaker 1: it's almost when I feel like I've used against myself
Speaker 1: and my whole life because you know, I'm from the South,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, we were we were told
Speaker 1: we say yes, ma, I'm and no sir, and it
Speaker 1: was like but it was it was from a different place.
Speaker 1: And I think you're going this circles back to your intention,
Speaker 1: you know, of where is it coming from and why
Speaker 1: am I doing it? And I what I love is
Speaker 1: that what I heard you say is your own respect
Speaker 1: for yourself. And I think that's key, um, because I
Speaker 1: think sometimes we can hear things like that and be like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go around and be a lot nicer
Speaker 1: to everybody. But then are you then taking your anger
Speaker 1: and your all of the things that happened to you
Speaker 1: maybe that you come up against, you know, you using
Speaker 1: that against yourself, Because I think that's really as I
Speaker 1: sit here and think about that, that's basically what I've
Speaker 1: done my whole life is like, Oh, we were taught
Speaker 1: to be really polite to people, but and that also
Speaker 1: meant like not speaking up for yourself sometimes and all
Speaker 1: of these other things. And I find and I agree
Speaker 1: with you on this um that I have found for
Speaker 1: myself to you know, being in this business um for
Speaker 1: so long I've had I've had so many people say
Speaker 1: about me and to me like she she's always so
Speaker 1: kind and so and I really take pride in that
Speaker 1: because I've and I've found, like you're saying them more
Speaker 1: and the older I've gotten, I've learned to use that
Speaker 1: for for the good of all instead of having it
Speaker 1: come from a place where I feel like I can't
Speaker 1: speak up and I always have to be kind or
Speaker 1: else somebody's gonna think bad of me. I mean that's
Speaker 1: how That's how I was raised, and it's um but
Speaker 1: for me, it's I totally feel you on that is
Speaker 1: that that's how I want to treat people like I
Speaker 1: want to leave. You know, it's like leave the world
Speaker 1: better than you found. It's like I want to I
Speaker 1: want to leave people better than I found them. And
Speaker 1: I think that's such a beautiful place to live from
Speaker 1: all right, when we returned from break, we'll have more
Speaker 1: thoughts on making the world a happier place for all
Speaker 1: of us. Hello everyone, We were just us talking about
Speaker 1: the transformative power of politeness and kindness, and it also
Speaker 1: takes us out of ourselves, right, I mean, it takes
Speaker 1: us out of our own quote unquote ego and puts
Speaker 1: us into a connection with people absolutely. And I think
Speaker 1: you know something that you pointed out or you know,
Speaker 1: touchdo I think is really helpful is the difference between
Speaker 1: politeness and subservience. Right when we're children, you know, I
Speaker 1: was subservient to my parents demands, and my parents also
Speaker 1: I wasn't raised in the South, but I was raised
Speaker 1: in a very emotionally volatile Jewish family. Um, what I
Speaker 1: learned from my parents, which was wonderful, is they still
Speaker 1: to me like Matthew, you must always be polite. And
Speaker 1: it was more taught to me in this very acoustic
Speaker 1: way where um, the fear of what my mom would
Speaker 1: say was worse than anything I could face. And my
Speaker 1: mom was lovely, but it's a little judge duty badass,
Speaker 1: and uh, I was less afraid if people are more
Speaker 1: afraid of my mom. But what's interesting is, you know,
Speaker 1: and then people project that parental relationship onto the universe.
Speaker 1: And so subservience is when you're trying to do a
Speaker 1: certain thing to avoid a certain amount of discomfort or punishment.
Speaker 1: Politeness is, you know, even we have to speak up
Speaker 1: for yourself. There's just a level of respect we hold,
Speaker 1: you know, where as an adult, even if you're talking
Speaker 1: to a child, you know, a child's experience is just
Speaker 1: to be fully present with whatever in impulse and instinct
Speaker 1: is coming up right. There's no think before you speak.
Speaker 1: It's just all kind of running the show. And as
Speaker 1: adults we kind of learned to be more mindful and
Speaker 1: more mature in the way we handle things. Not always,
Speaker 1: of course, but I think really politeness is just one
Speaker 1: of those things where we remember, like, and I remember
Speaker 1: from me what clicked about all this was actually the opposite,
Speaker 1: was like, if someone was not nice to me and
Speaker 1: I was not nice to them, I started to see
Speaker 1: it as a form of manipulation, and I started to
Speaker 1: realize I don't I don't want to be manipulated by
Speaker 1: someone else's um experience, and that it wants to be
Speaker 1: forced to just kind of have this ping pong and
Speaker 1: reflect back to someone, well, they treated me bad, I'm
Speaker 1: going to treat them bad. And it just kind of
Speaker 1: woke up out of that, you know, spontaneously. And so
Speaker 1: for me, politeness is just my way of being able
Speaker 1: to say, we're all on our journeys. We're not always
Speaker 1: gonna hit the mark, but I'm always going to respect
Speaker 1: that there's a soul inside every heart, including mine. We're
Speaker 1: always doing the best we possibly can. And if we
Speaker 1: can treat others with more respect, we help others bring
Speaker 1: to the surface more of their highest quality so that
Speaker 1: more people can thrive and less people have to suffer.
Speaker 1: And so I think for me. The politeness comes from
Speaker 1: very deep awareness that I came here to help resolve
Speaker 1: the suffering of the world, and it's and it begins
Speaker 1: with myself and who I interact with, one person at
Speaker 1: a time, despite the all I play for the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel that so deeply, and if only we can
Speaker 1: we can remember that on a daily basis. It's like
Speaker 1: joy is found in that connection and into making for
Speaker 1: me at least in making, you know, and helping others
Speaker 1: to find that that light within themselves. I mean, this
Speaker 1: is honestly why I started this podcast was like, how
Speaker 1: do I how do I help people out of suffering?
Speaker 1: You know, it's um how do I help people be
Speaker 1: okay with with the wholeness of the fullness of who
Speaker 1: they are? And you know, and what I have found
Speaker 1: is my deepest joys are when I'm doing that, you know,
Speaker 1: when I'm serving that role um or serving the role
Speaker 1: that I'm here to play in helping to liberate people
Speaker 1: and to connect people back to themselves and I and
Speaker 1: it's funny that you you talk about intention earlier, like
Speaker 1: that's been my my biggest practice has been coming back
Speaker 1: to that intention. And once I got really clear on
Speaker 1: what that was anytime I get lost, like wunning to mounting,
Speaker 1: time I go down, like the dirt path that I'm
Speaker 1: not supposed to be taking, I seem to be able
Speaker 1: to connect back to that intention of of my why
Speaker 1: has been such a huge anchoring piece, I guess for me,
Speaker 1: especially during these times. And I love that because I
Speaker 1: think the word service such a powerful word, you know,
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes people limit service to what I
Speaker 1: do at work, or we're having a canned food drive,
Speaker 1: and I think there's ways in which we kind of
Speaker 1: put service in a very interesting box. And I think
Speaker 1: for a lot of people, we don't often think of
Speaker 1: I speak as a form of service. I listen as
Speaker 1: a form of service. I respond not because my ego
Speaker 1: wants to have the final word, but because I am
Speaker 1: in service to the person I'm in front of. And
Speaker 1: sometimes it's easier to forget about that service when you're
Speaker 1: around someone who's not acting in a way that is
Speaker 1: serving you. And so I think that as we love ourselves,
Speaker 1: and as we get more spiritually aligned, and we get
Speaker 1: more quiet and go within and we we we start
Speaker 1: to strengthen our ability to listen to the same degree
Speaker 1: that we're also anxious to share. I think we start
Speaker 1: to remember that what I'm choosing for myself, how I
Speaker 1: speak to others, how I listen, what I do is
Speaker 1: not just to fulfill my personal desires. It's a service
Speaker 1: that I offer to all. And I think that the
Speaker 1: words service helps us remember that there's a greater reason
Speaker 1: why we're here, and there's a greater opportunity in every
Speaker 1: moment when we remember the service that is really all
Speaker 1: of us living for the well being of all. M hmm.
Speaker 1: I love that I do something with every guest of
Speaker 1: mine on the podcast called the Holy Five. Of course,
Speaker 1: I love music, and I'm very much connected, and I
Speaker 1: know I love that you music to which I'm is
Speaker 1: excited to ask you this question. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: dig into your playlists a little bit and see if there's, like,
Speaker 1: there's five songs right now that you're loving, or five
Speaker 1: songs that speak to your life. However you want to
Speaker 1: play this game? What are your top five that you're into?
Speaker 1: What a what a fascinating question. I love that because
Speaker 1: I'm such a big music fan. You and I talked
Speaker 1: about all the time, and you know, we just came
Speaker 1: out of the holiday season and I was raised Jewish, right,
Speaker 1: But I love Christmas. I love Christmas. Christmas for me
Speaker 1: is the end all be all, Like my heaven will
Speaker 1: just be Christmas every day. And I've also thought about
Speaker 1: this over the years, and it sounds kind of morbid,
Speaker 1: but I always think of like if I'm writing the
Speaker 1: Escalator from Earth to Heaven, like what song do I
Speaker 1: want to listen to? I like that, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I don't know. I think about these things.
Speaker 1: It's covid up at home, and you know, what else
Speaker 1: do you think about other than why am I not
Speaker 1: wearing pants? But the songs I would say that touched
Speaker 1: me the deepest, so many different genres I love. Okay, so,
Speaker 1: um Gabriel's song by Sting whatever album that was amazing.
Speaker 1: So gabriel song by Staying, I think, is just like
Speaker 1: this holy I'm in the presence of God and I
Speaker 1: am writing this Escalator to Heaven and it's all good. Okay, Okay.
Speaker 1: So I was a kid and I was in you know,
Speaker 1: you have a school assembly, which is cool because you
Speaker 1: don't have to be in school and you get to
Speaker 1: go to the auditorium and you watch the other kids
Speaker 1: who are in the choir singing the Christmas songs with
Speaker 1: like a token Honakah song just to remind us that
Speaker 1: Hanika's music program is so deficient. Can we really ride
Speaker 1: on Adam Sandler for that long? Really? So anyways, I'm
Speaker 1: watching these Christmas songs and and I'm like in fifth grade,
Speaker 1: and I hear a song that elicits a reaction to
Speaker 1: me that I'm literally about to explode into the most
Speaker 1: explosive tears. And I had to go outside because I
Speaker 1: didn't want to make a noise and embarrass myself, because
Speaker 1: I'm the kid gos to be popular, right, so so
Speaker 1: so this song and I went outside and I literally cried,
Speaker 1: and it was this spiritual moment that I just didn't understand.
Speaker 1: But um, I was just embarrassed that people would hear
Speaker 1: me because I was literally about to scream. And the
Speaker 1: song was do you Hear What I Hear? That song
Speaker 1: touches me on a level I can't even describe. And
Speaker 1: I've got like eight versions of it. I love that.
Speaker 1: Here's your favorite version of do you Hear What I Hear?
Speaker 1: My favorite version do you Hear What I Hear? Is
Speaker 1: um Andy Williams, Oh cool old school hear what a
Speaker 1: song song. One of my favorite songs of all time
Speaker 1: dust In the Wind by Kansas Nice. It's just so random,
Speaker 1: the great I think that's that. That's like the song
Speaker 1: you Die Too. All they are is dustin. That's a
Speaker 1: good one. That's a good one. That's a really good one.
Speaker 1: Two more things to go. Yeah. As far as Christmas songs,
Speaker 1: you know there's it's It's Christmas. Tree Farm by Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift is one of my new favorite Christmas songs. It's
Speaker 1: just there, there's a magic to it. My heart is
Speaker 1: it Christmas to Farm where the people come to dance on.
Speaker 1: Very good, but it's so good. He's still on the
Speaker 1: Christmas music and I love it. I have actually had
Speaker 1: Christmas music come on my playlist at the beginning this
Speaker 1: year and I don't turn it off, so oh never.
Speaker 1: And I will tell you the last one is anything
Speaker 1: by Josh Broban because I like to cook. And it's
Speaker 1: a little known fact that if you listen to Josh
Speaker 1: Broban while you cook, everything tastes better. It's it's a
Speaker 1: Josh Groban song. Have You Cooked the Best Too? I
Speaker 1: will tell you that I've cooked remarkable levels of food
Speaker 1: to Josh Groban's Noel Perfect Snow. I love it. And
Speaker 1: I don't ever ask anybody this, but I know you're
Speaker 1: a huge chef. Do you have a favorite thing to cook?
Speaker 1: Do you prefer a recipe? I decided yesterday for some
Speaker 1: reason that I'm going to make different kinds of guacamole.
Speaker 1: That's what I did yesterday, master guacamole. Then I have
Speaker 1: these little bowls and I would like to stir in
Speaker 1: different things, so I did, like, you know, roasted corn
Speaker 1: and green chilies is one of them. And one of
Speaker 1: them had like dice grapefruit and crispy kale, and oh
Speaker 1: my god, that sounds so good. Yeah. I recommend this
Speaker 1: for anyone in existence. Like and as I'm eating it,
Speaker 1: I'm realizing I think I'm now in analogamous relationship with guacamole.
Speaker 1: It's the best kind to be in. During COVID, I mean,
Speaker 1: I love guacamole. And then yesterday it was like this deeper.
Speaker 1: I think I really think I like you, like you, Ga,
Speaker 1: I love it. Oh my god, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: do that very good. I love that. Thank you amazing.
Speaker 1: This was so fun. Thank you so much. Thank you
Speaker 1: for coming on this podcast. And oh, something I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do at the end of this podcast because of the
Speaker 1: I love yous, I am going to share a chant
Speaker 1: of mine, so thank you so much for coming on,
Speaker 1: and I'm we're gonna I'm gonna chant everyone out. My
Speaker 1: ho my, it's my compass and my oh no way,
Speaker 1: my hoh. It's connected to totally my heart, my heart,
Speaker 1: my heart through little well blow this blowing my heart,
Speaker 1: my heart, my heart, my hot leading me home to
Speaker 1: my deep snowing, and that ties up this episode. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for being here as always, and please
Speaker 1: forward this heart centered message to someone you feel could
Speaker 1: benefit from hearing it, and of course I would always
Speaker 1: love to hear from you, so please leave me your
Speaker 1: thoughts in a rating wherever you're listening. Bye. On our
Speaker 1: next Holy Human, We're going to dive into the interwoven
Speaker 1: male and female energies that connect and comprise us all
Speaker 1: with the wonderfully wise and super cool dude Rainier Wild
Speaker 1: I love his name m listen and follow Holy Human
Speaker 1: on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts.