1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: We all have hurdles in life, and we are all 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: strong enough to get over them and emerge victorious on 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:24,959 Speaker 1: the other side. Hey Handler's Emily a body here with 4 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: a new episode of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where 5 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: I sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything 6 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: from their big wins to how they've gotten through some 7 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: of life's toughest moments. For Hurdle Moment this week, I 8 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: am chatting all about the best ways to handle any 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: important conversation. Now I am not saying I have all 10 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: the secrets on lock, but the reality is is that 11 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 1: some of the most tough discussions that we need to have, 12 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: whether they be personal or professional in nature, they're also 13 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: some of the most critical or pivotal. Especially as I've 14 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: grown my business over the last few years, I've learned 15 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: just how important it is to be your own advocate. 16 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: So when it comes to these big combos, you owe 17 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: it to yourself to go into them with a bit 18 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 1: of a game plan. And that's why I've got you back. 19 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: Been getting a lot of great feedback on this week's 20 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: Hurdle episode with the co founders of Beam, Matt Lombardi 21 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: and Kevin Moran, as I mentioned in the injart of 22 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: that episode. After recording near the end of last year, 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: we realized that we really aligned in our values and 24 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: just our hopes for the direction of the wellness industry, 25 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: and we really vibe. And that's why Beam came on 26 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: this quarter to sponsor the Hurdle Moment series. In this 27 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: week's episode, Kevin talked about how the formula that would 28 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: become there, the One Tincture, literally changed his life and 29 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: helped him overcome a long battle he had with nasty 30 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: migraine headaches that he saw so many physicians trying to 31 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: figure out what was going on. I have been taking 32 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: it myself right before I head out the door lately 33 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: before a busy day, and I personally just feel a 34 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: little less on edge and more calm about what's on 35 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: my plate. They are offering Hurdle listeners a really awesome deal. 36 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: It's fifteen percent off your purchase over at their website 37 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: beam TLC dot com using the code Hurdle at checkout. Again, 38 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: head on over to BEAMTLC dot com use the code 39 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: Hurdle at checkout for fifteen percent off as usual at 40 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 1: Emily Abodi at Hurdle podcast on Instagram and Twitter. I'm 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: headed down to the Olympic Marathon trials today, so if 42 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: you're going to be in Atlanta over the weekend, I 43 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: have a few events that I'll be hosting at the 44 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: Brooks Hyperiod House. I'd love to see you there. For 45 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: more details on all of that, click on over into 46 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: the episode description. You can always reach me over email. 47 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: It's Emily at hurdle dot us if you have a 48 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: hurdle moment of your own, or you have a story 49 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: to share, and I think that's it with that, let's 50 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: get to hurdling. I hate confrontation. I mean, okay, I 51 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: guess for the most part, who wouldn't rather have a calm, 52 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: even keeled conversation where all parties are expressing their feelings 53 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: without anger or sadness or extreme emotion, right I digress. 54 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: Of course, it doesn't always happen like that. Important conversations though, 55 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: they need to happen. And so today for hurdle moment, 56 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: I'm talking you through the simple strategies that I have implemented, 57 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: especially over the last few years, to handle them with care. 58 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: My first strategy, know what you want out of it. 59 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: This is probably one of the best pieces of advice 60 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: that I have ever been offered, and it was from 61 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: my cousin. Actually, we were sitting at a bar on 62 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: twenty fourth Street and Third Avenue in Manhattan, and I 63 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: was talking to him about a situation that I was 64 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: dealing with at one of my first jobs in New York. 65 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: I had decided that I was going to leave the 66 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: job and needed to have that oh so fun conversation 67 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: with my boss. So he asked me, what are you 68 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: stressing out about? And I said, I'm so determined to 69 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: make sure that I leave this conversation. I leave this 70 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: job on good terms. And I go into this conversation 71 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 1: knowing that there is no wiggle room that I know 72 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: I need to leave. My mind is made up and 73 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: again to leave on good terms. And he said to me, well, 74 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: if that's what you want, then you need to go 75 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: into the conversation knowing that you need to know what 76 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: your goal is with the conversation. Once you have that, 77 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: you can work backward and think about the things that 78 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: you can say in this conversation to get to where 79 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: you want to be. And I just thought that was 80 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: so smart. By really mapping this out, I was able 81 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: to approach the conversation with open, honest attitude, ltimately get 82 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: out of it exactly what it was that I expressed 83 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: to my cousin that I had wanted. So yeah, I 84 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: use this tactic all the time in both my professional 85 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: and my personal life. I will be the first to admit, 86 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: especially when it comes to romantic relationships, that it is 87 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 1: a hard muscle to flex. But whether it is with 88 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,599 Speaker 1: a partner or with a friend, or in business or 89 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: with a family member, by thinking bigger picture and taking 90 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: a step back, you have the opportunity at a better 91 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: outcome for all parties involved. Again, know what you want 92 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: out of the conversation, and that way you can act 93 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: with clearer intention. The second tip to handling important conversations listen. 94 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: I think it was Larry King who once said, I 95 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: remind myself every morning. Nothing I say at this day 96 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: will teach me anything. If I'm going to learn, I 97 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: must do it by listening. It's true he has a point. 98 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: You must be willing to listen and to be quiet 99 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: if you want to have a productive conversation. No successful 100 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: dialogue between two or more people happens when one person 101 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: gets to give all of their feelings and the other 102 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: or others get to offer none. Now, I think this 103 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,919 Speaker 1: is a great place to point out that there is 104 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: certainly a difference between hearing someone and just listening to someone. 105 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: I feel as though all the time we hear people 106 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: say I hear you, I hear you. But what I 107 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 1: want to know is are you really listening? Are you digesting? 108 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: Are you then able to take action based on the 109 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,479 Speaker 1: words that someone is saying, or are you just letting 110 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: it glaze over? I think a lot of the time 111 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: there are distractions that keep us from being fully present 112 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: in our conversations and fully listening. But we owe it 113 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: to ourselves to truly show up, especially in these moments 114 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: of intense conversation, to get to a place again that 115 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: benefits both parties. The third tip be kind. This has 116 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,359 Speaker 1: been probably the biggest, most wonderful lesson and value that 117 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: I've come to abide by over the past few years. 118 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: If there is anything that I see each and every day, 119 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: it is that so many people around me are running 120 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: around from point A to point B, to point C 121 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: to point D, and we are just not taking enough 122 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: time to pause and have a genuine connection or say 123 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: nice things to each other. Just the other day, I 124 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: held the door open for four different women walking in 125 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: and out of rent the runway, and the woman working 126 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: right at the front of the store. She looked at 127 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: me and she said, you are doing God's work. Is 128 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: it really that much of an anomaly for someone to 129 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: treat other people with that little amount of kindness as 130 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: to open a door? Oh? No, matter how important a 131 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: conversation is, if you approach it with kindness, then you're 132 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: already opening the door to greater possibility. You're already meeting 133 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: someone with compassion, even if that other person is coming 134 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: to you from a negative space. And man, this is 135 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: something that I feel as though I've been dealing with 136 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: so much lately, something that I'm definitely planning to record 137 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 1: a separate hurdle moment on how to deal with negative people. 138 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you all and know if 139 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: that's something that you're interested in. But I think it's 140 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: important for me to remind you that negative people or 141 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: someone approaching a situation with a negative outlook, oftentimes they 142 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: are dealing with something on their own terms that has 143 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: nothing to do with you. So when someone approaches you 144 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: with anger or if they are trolling you, God, I 145 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 1: have been there then there is something or someone that 146 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: hurt them and made them feel as though they cannot 147 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: be transparent or vulnerable with the world around them, and 148 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: so they claw at you instead because they don't want 149 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: to get hurt and it is so much easier to 150 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 1: dig into somebody else. Let me tell you, I know 151 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: it sucks to be on the receiving end of that, 152 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: and no one deserves that anger. So that is why 153 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: I encourage you to be the bigger person, to show 154 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 1: up to all of your conversation, including the important ones, 155 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: with openness and a desire to listen. When you treat 156 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,319 Speaker 1: people with grace in your approach, that is when true 157 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: progress can be made. And the last tip to handling 158 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: any important conversation is to have it. So often we 159 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: put off things because we are scared or nervous. We 160 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: don't want to hurt someone, we're scared of things changing, 161 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: we don't want to step outside of our comfort zone. 162 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:35,559 Speaker 1: But real talk, until you have a conversation that's been 163 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: boiling at you, that's been bugging you, that's been eating 164 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 1: you up inside, it's just kind of keep doing that. 165 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: So I want you to ask yourself, is there someone 166 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: that I need to have some words with. Maybe it's 167 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: a toxic friend, Maybe it's an awkward situation in your office. 168 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,599 Speaker 1: Perhaps you're in a situationship that you just need to 169 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: get out of. Again. You cannot control exactly how someone 170 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: is going to react, but what you can do is 171 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: approach these conversations using these simple strategies to ultimately make 172 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 1: it easier on you and hopefully find a more desirable outcome. 173 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 1: You owe it to yourself to have the tough conversations 174 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,280 Speaker 1: because you are worthy of that investment. If you're struggling 175 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: to show up to have these types of talks, I'm 176 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 1: here to hear about it. Reach out to me. It's 177 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: Emily at hurdle dot us. Always connect with the podcast 178 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Twitter at Hurdle Podcast. And remember, we 179 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: all have hurdles in life, and we are all strong 180 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: enough to get over them and emerge victorious on the 181 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: other side, another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.