1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,440 Speaker 1: Buddle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here. 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry letter. Subject. Is he my kids 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: daddy or granddaddy? Dear Stephen Shirley, As nephew Tommy would say, 4 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: buckle up and hold on tight. He just said it 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,279 Speaker 1: for real this time. There's no easy way to explain 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: my situation. I am a twenty eight year old married woman. 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 1: I married my high school sweetheart and we have six kids. 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: But I'm not sure who my father, who my kid's 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: father is. Here's why. Ten years ago, I lost my 10 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: parents in a bad accident, and living without them was 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: unbearable for me. I started drinking, partying, and having sex 12 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: all of the time with different men. I was a mess. 13 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: My boyfriend had no idea about my secret sex life. 14 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: One night, when I was drunk, I went to my 15 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: boyfriend's house looking for him and ended up having sex 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: with his father. His dad and I had amazing sexual chemistry, 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,319 Speaker 1: so we continue to have sex for years. I got 18 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: pregnant with my first child and my boyfriend and I 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: got married. Since i've been married, I've only had sex 20 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: with my husband and his dad. I do not use 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: protection with my husband, and I do not use protection 22 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 1: with his dad. Recently, my husband's dad and I ended 23 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: our affair because it was getting harder to sneak around. 24 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: I also stopped drinking and decided to get my life 25 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: together so I can be a better wife and a 26 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 1: great mom. But the first thing I need to do 27 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: is figure out who the daddy of each of my kids. 28 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: Who is the daddy of each one of my kids? 29 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: Is it my husband or is it his father. I 30 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: love my husband dearly and I don't want to lose him. 31 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: His love and support got me through the worst part 32 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: of my life. I need to tell him about my 33 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: affair with his dad, and I need to get him 34 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: to do a DNA test. My kids deserve to know 35 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: who their dad is, right, But I don't want to 36 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: ruin the relationship that my husband has with his dad. 37 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: So how do I approach this? Please help? Well, yeah, yeah, 38 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: this is one of those moments. Yeah, you're going to 39 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: ruin the relationship. I mean, no doubt about it. If 40 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: you tell there's you're going to do that. I mean, 41 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: so don't even I don't even know why you put 42 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,519 Speaker 1: that in the letter, because that's definitely going to happen. 43 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: You know, I'm sorry that you lost your parents, your 44 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: parents ten years ago. You know. That's why they have 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 1: counseling and stuff like that, so people can work on 46 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: those kinds of issues and not use drinking and sex 47 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: and things like that to get through it. That's what 48 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: you did. That's what happened. This is really crazy. I'm 49 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: glad you've changed your life around, but boy, have you 50 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: left just a trail of mess behind. Just a trail. 51 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 1: What I don't understand is why you kept sleeping with 52 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: both of them, both your dad his dad and your husband, 53 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: the dad's son. Why did you keep doing it for 54 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,359 Speaker 1: so long? You said you did it for years, And 55 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 1: why were you doing it with no protection? Because you 56 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: know when you do it with no protection, you can 57 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: get pregnant or get a disease or something. I mean, 58 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:05,079 Speaker 1: that was just dumb. I don't think you should tell. 59 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: I just don't. I mean, there are times, you know, 60 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: when when this applies, and I just think there's one 61 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: of them. I just think this is a secret you're 62 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 1: going to have to take to your grave, because there's 63 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: no way if you do tell, you're not going to 64 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: ruin their relationship. This is just because of your past behavior. 65 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: This is just one of those burdens you have to carry, 66 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: and you got to carry it to your grave as 67 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: far as I'm concerned, Steve, First of all, system you've 68 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 1: made a series of bad mistakes and you just got 69 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: to eat him. But now this moment that you're having 70 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: in this letter, I need to tell him talking about 71 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: your husband. I love my husband dearly and I don't 72 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: want to lose him. His love and support got me 73 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: through the worst part of my life. I need to 74 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: tell him about my affair with his dad, and I 75 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: need him to get him to do a DNA test. 76 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: My kids deserve to know who their dad is, right, 77 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: But I don't want to ruin a relationship that my 78 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 1: husband has with his dad. So how do I approach this? 79 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: Please help? There's nothing to approach here. You've made a 80 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: series of mistakes, horrible mistakes. You're not the only one 81 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: to blame here. This man's your husband's father, has a 82 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 1: world of responsibility to bear up under this. How could 83 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: you do this to your son? That's a big issue too. 84 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: How could you do this to your son? See, now 85 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: here's the messed up part. You're the only one getting 86 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: everything you want, young lady. You're the only one getting 87 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: everything you want. You got your husband, you got your affair, 88 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: you got your kids, you got all this. Now you 89 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: ain't saying you ain't had no troubles in your life. 90 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: You have, but you've compounded them with some other decisions too. 91 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: But now and then the father in law, this man 92 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: you have an affair with, he getting everything he won't. 93 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: He got grandkids, he got his son, he got his 94 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: daughter in law, he got a chick on the side, 95 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: he coop. That's trifling. So you and him have been 96 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: the only ones getting exactly what you knew you were getting. 97 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: Let's look at the lives who don't know what they 98 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: was getting. Your kids don't know who they dog one 99 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: daddy is not really But then it's really not a 100 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 1: question for them right now because they're just assuming that's 101 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: my daddy. If you take that from them, what have 102 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: you done. This ain't the time to run your mouth. 103 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: This is the one time Shelly and got this straight. No, really, really, 104 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: you've always recommended telling the truth, and now you saying 105 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: live a lie, and this is when you have to 106 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: live the lot because she's destroying families if she does. 107 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: It's okay, Shirley, you've always said you should tell the truth. 108 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: It's okay, yes you have that's what you here. Now 109 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: you change it on this week. You here though, you 110 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: hear what you want to hear. Guys, No, that's what 111 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,359 Speaker 1: you say. Shirley, Shirley. This is my turn with the letter. 112 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: It's the Strawberry Letter. We'll be back now. This is 113 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter. I've been asked by my co host 114 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: to keep her name out of my mouth. What I'm doing. 115 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:43,279 Speaker 1: I'm finding that increasingly difficult to do. But let's just 116 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: reiterate this. Twenty one year old married woman married to 117 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: a high school sweetheart, got six kids. Ten years ago, 118 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: she lost my parents in a bad accident. She started 119 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 1: drinking health sex with all kind of man. One time 120 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: she went over to the house looking for a boyfriend, 121 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: he wasn't there. She wanted up having sex with his daddy. 122 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: They've continued to have this affair even though they've gotten married. 123 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 1: She has always kept an affair going with her husband's father. Now, 124 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: she got six kids and she don't know whose kids 125 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: they are, so she wants to go have a DNA test. 126 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: So she wants to stop drinking. She stopped drinking and 127 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: decided to get her life together so she can be 128 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: a better wife and a great mom, she said, But 129 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: the first thing I need to do is figure out 130 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: who is the daddy of each one of my kids. 131 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: Is it my husband or is it his father. I 132 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: love my husband dearly and I don't want to lose him. 133 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: You're about to His love and support got me through 134 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: the worst part of my life, and this is how 135 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: you repay. I need to tell him about my affair 136 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: with his dad, and I need him to go get 137 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: to a DNA test. You're gonna go tell your husband 138 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: about to affair you've been having with his daddy. Now, 139 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: I just told you you're gonna ruin these kids' lives 140 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: because he's kids only know your husband as they dad, 141 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: and they know Grandpa as their grandfather. You're gonna go 142 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: in there and rearrange that. But you don't want to 143 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: lose your husband. This is exactly how you lose your husband. 144 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: You're running out, running your mouth with disinformation right here. 145 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 1: The best thing you could do is stop seeing his 146 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: old man, ask God for forgiveness and going to get 147 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: your life together. If you do decide to go in 148 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: there and tell, which would be the dumbest thing you 149 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: can do. You're going to ruin the kids' lives. Your husband, 150 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: his father's son relationship will be damaged, possibly beyond repair. 151 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: Your life will suffer because you won't have this husband anymore. 152 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: Then you won't have their fair you had it with 153 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: and I got something else you haven't thought of. Your 154 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: relationship with your children could be damaged by this, because 155 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: when they get old and finally figure out what it 156 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,679 Speaker 1: is you did, that's gonna be a tough one. So 157 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: you talking at this point doesn't make any sense to 158 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: me at all. None. And once again I'm gonna say 159 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: this though my co host has gotten it right by 160 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: telling you to stand down and shut your mouth. I 161 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 1: have promoted lying since we got on this show. That's 162 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: the biggest promoter of truth telling. I have told her 163 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: sometimes the reason me and lie is because if we 164 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: know the truth ain't gonna go good, we will give 165 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 1: you a lie. In state, this is one of those 166 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: situations where the truth ain't gonna go good. There's no 167 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: good can come out to trait. I agree nothing, And 168 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: finally I got her to understand why lying is necessary. Yeah, 169 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: you can't. You'll destroy everything and everyone. It shouldn't have 170 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: been written Yeah, you don't got but she's feeling guilt. 171 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: That's what she's feeling, all kinds of guilt since she's changed. Yeah, 172 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: she's that's one thing she's gonna have to do. She 173 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: made me got a lie in therapy after all, you know, Yeah, 174 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: to deal with all of this, because she's dealt with 175 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: a lot. When you do tell them, do the kids 176 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: say granddadda daddy? Dad is a legitimate everyone? So he 177 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: is your brother, really, your niece or your ain't? What 178 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: do I call it? Kid? What the kids going through? Sure? 179 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: Get them? He no, I was gonna say something reasonable. Oh, okay, 180 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 1: technically the kids will always be brother and sisters because 181 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: they share the same mother. Yeah, so technically they always 182 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:08,320 Speaker 1: be brothers Now, if you get rid of the technicality, uncle, 183 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:12,679 Speaker 1: you're gonna have a damn problem because somebody over there 184 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: is gonna have to be somebody uncle. One of them 185 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: boys is gonna be uncle, and one of them girls 186 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:33,959 Speaker 1: gonna be somebody's aunt. But all of mistake cousins gonna 187 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 1: have to be the niece. Tho he has to get 188 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: in roll call at the family. Gonna have a lot 189 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: of people standing up with the same damn title. And 190 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 1: you can have multiple titles in this family with all 191 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: the sons of Walter. Stand up now, when all the 192 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: sons of Walter Junior state all right, Steve, we gotta 193 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 1: get out of here. Email us a strawberry letter, My girl, Shirley, 194 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.