Speaker 1: I am all in again.
Speaker 2: Let's just you, h I am all in again with
Speaker 2: Scott Patterson and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, Scott Patterson, I Am all in Podcast one
Speaker 1: A Love Productions, iHeartRadio Media, iHeart Podcast Seasons two, Episode eight,
Speaker 1: The Ins and Outs of Inns Air date November twenty,
Speaker 1: two thousand and one eons ago, with my very very
Speaker 1: special guest, the renowned therapist Jennifer Banks. Recently just finished
Speaker 1: all seven seasons of the show. Jennifer did and to
Speaker 1: help us recap season two, episode eight. Jennifer, welcome to
Speaker 1: the show.
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me synopsis.
Speaker 1: We're gonna synopsize here, Jennifer sounds good. A lion Suki
Speaker 1: planned to open their own end, but their dream property
Speaker 1: may be unavailable. Meanwhile, the independentent owner Mea visits Stars
Speaker 1: Hollow and Emily asked Rory to pose for an oil
Speaker 1: painting for Richard's study from when he gets back from
Speaker 1: his trip to Akron, Ohio. This is directed by the
Speaker 1: great Michael Cattleman, written by Daniel Palladino, Also great, Jennifer.
Speaker 1: What are your initial thoughts on this episode?
Speaker 3: I loved this episode. There are so many amazing themes.
Speaker 3: I see so many dynamics happening in their relationships and
Speaker 3: oh so many great parts, funny parts like even just
Speaker 3: that pose watching Rory with her hand up like a ballerina,
Speaker 3: and you know, Lauraized teenage attitude coming out when when
Speaker 3: she hears about it at the table. I just love that.
Speaker 3: There's so much that we can dig into there.
Speaker 1: What storyline and impacted you the most emotionally and why I.
Speaker 3: Have to say, actually, like the paradox of seeing Emily
Speaker 3: coming in, Mia coming in and here are two privileged
Speaker 3: women with the same opportunity, completely different conclusion. So the
Speaker 3: way that Mia says, you know, oh, I'll never forget
Speaker 3: seeing her with her baby at the door, and she
Speaker 3: comes in and she welcomes her, gives her a home,
Speaker 3: gives her all the wonderful things that you know, basically
Speaker 3: a child needs. Because Loria was still a child and
Speaker 3: Emily couldn't offer that, right.
Speaker 1: It's heartbreaking. That was heartbreaking, it really was.
Speaker 3: And watching Emily not not be able, she could not
Speaker 3: be vulnerable until she kind of comes back and says,
Speaker 3: do you have any picture from that time? Yeah, I'll
Speaker 3: send you a box. You know, she really knows she
Speaker 3: missed out.
Speaker 1: Well, I will say this about Elizabeth Frands, that's probably
Speaker 1: the best guest star turn I've seen on that show.
Speaker 1: She is so likable, she's such a great actress, and
Speaker 1: what a beautifully written role for her. And yeah, the
Speaker 1: emotional impact of her coming of of of the fans
Speaker 1: getting to meet her and hearing this backstory. And we
Speaker 1: did get some backstory on Look. This is where we
Speaker 1: find out he's a treky. This is where we find
Speaker 1: out so many things details about right when when Lorala
Speaker 1: I showed up as a sixteen year old with a
Speaker 1: with a with a newborn, to the to the the
Speaker 1: independence in so it was quite moving and quite entertaining. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're talking about themes. What themes emerged this episode?
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, it was all about conflict between
Speaker 1: friends and conflict with your own dreams and how that
Speaker 1: puts you in opposition to maybe your best friend and
Speaker 1: your business partner, and how it all comes around. So
Speaker 1: everybody seemed to be in conflict, but it was all
Speaker 1: resolved in a really nice way.
Speaker 3: It was. But you know what often drives conflicts fear,
Speaker 3: Like that's that's really a primary emotion that we all
Speaker 3: feel and the fear in Loralai when she finds out
Speaker 3: the independence In is going to be sold possibly. I
Speaker 3: mean that really is what drove that whole conflict her
Speaker 3: hearing that, you know that in was so much more
Speaker 3: than just an end to her, even the name independence In.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's all about her independence from the home,
Speaker 3: not even home house that she grew up in and
Speaker 3: then this is her home with air quotes of her
Speaker 3: almost like an adoptive mother who was attuned and present
Speaker 3: with her, and the fear that she felt if that
Speaker 3: was going to be sold, what that meant for her.
Speaker 1: As I said, Elizabeth Franz played beautifully that role. We
Speaker 1: can tell Mia has a long history here, as she
Speaker 1: tells Michelle his English enunciation should be better by now,
Speaker 1: and she knew lucas a young boy. She calls him lucas.
Speaker 1: Mia tells Laura she wants to sell the In, which
Speaker 1: really upsets Laura. I mean, the you know, the really
Speaker 1: came around. That was unexpected for me and a wonderful
Speaker 1: dramatic device, you know, not knowing how much Mia wanted
Speaker 1: to and not even knowing, you know, Laura, I not
Speaker 1: even realizing, Oh I forgot how this is going to
Speaker 1: affect Mia.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then you know Mia being so classy about it
Speaker 1: and saying, I've you know, I've had many opportunities and
Speaker 1: many offers to sell the in and this would be
Speaker 1: the perfect time. And she was actually celebrating and supportive
Speaker 1: and what a great friend and great mother figure for
Speaker 1: laurla I. And now we see, now we see in
Speaker 1: this extraordinary woman Mia. Why perhaps why Laurela I and
Speaker 1: Roy ar thriving because they got that support that they
Speaker 1: weren't getting in her real Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but even that, I bet you so many listeners
Speaker 3: can see themselves in these characters. You know, whether they
Speaker 3: received this growing up or they didn't. How important it
Speaker 3: is to be able to thrive, to have that mother
Speaker 3: maternal figure really attuned and present and caring and genuine
Speaker 3: like you can just hear it in her voice. I
Speaker 3: mean you know her delivery like yes, as an actress, amazing,
Speaker 3: she just she delivers that attunement and caring essence in
Speaker 3: her performances, whereas Emily is very cold, right, and I
Speaker 3: think Emily has such a heart that is so hidden.
Speaker 3: It's like she has her dukes up all the time
Speaker 3: and she just couldn't be that person for Lorelai.
Speaker 1: And she knew it. And that was the I mean,
Speaker 1: talk about a dramatic moment for for Emily as she
Speaker 1: just you see her as you know, as strong opposing
Speaker 1: in this sort of false strength and this facade of
Speaker 1: strength and tradition and pride and just a class You're right,
Speaker 1: It just all crumbles, doesn't it.
Speaker 3: It does?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she just played it so beautifully.
Speaker 3: She really did. I was shocked. That was the first
Speaker 3: time she met Mia, like it took that long. Yeah, power,
Speaker 3: That says a lot about her right and her fears.
Speaker 1: Right and the cur bridge for her to come to
Speaker 1: drive that distance thinking about it and not confronting her,
Speaker 1: but meeting her. I guess it was a little bit
Speaker 1: of a confrontation. Yes, instantly refused her lunch inventation. No, yes,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, you know, this kind of thing.
Speaker 3: It was a classy conflict. So fear is another theme
Speaker 3: I really saw, right, like the why did Emily not
Speaker 3: go years before? I'm sure it crossed her mind, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, But now here she is, right now,
Speaker 1: she here she is, So there's the opportunity. All right,
Speaker 1: let's switch to the Dragonfly and Suki and Laura I
Speaker 1: discover Friend is the owner of the Rachel property quote unquote,
Speaker 1: which is actually called the Dragonfly, and and they asked
Speaker 1: her to buy it. However, Friend isn't selling. It's the
Speaker 1: only thing she has in her family. She has no siblings,
Speaker 1: she has no family, and that's it. That's her family
Speaker 1: that run down, dilapidated in and she wants it forever
Speaker 1: and ever. And what a what an hysterical scene that was.
Speaker 1: I loved it. They couldn't say the word, they just
Speaker 1: had to allude to it. You know, the forever vacation
Speaker 1: where we're all going on that vacation.
Speaker 3: What do you mean longer than Europe? Europe?
Speaker 1: No, never, you know, the drama, the dramatic moment. What
Speaker 1: I think this show does so well, and what Dan
Speaker 1: Palladino did so well in this episode is really make
Speaker 1: us laugh and feel for these people and root for
Speaker 1: people to stay together when they were in such conflict.
Speaker 1: I mean, Luke was the town and you know and
Speaker 1: everybody else. And then he trains us, you know, this
Speaker 1: show trains us to expect the laugh and crave and
Speaker 1: for the laugh because we know it's coming because it's
Speaker 1: all so darn funny, and when they hit us with
Speaker 1: these dramatic moments, they are just so powerful. They are
Speaker 1: they are so impactful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she says, how about a cupcake?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that solves everything. Let's just have a cupcake.
Speaker 1: I mean, have you ever seen people so nice to
Speaker 1: one another in such a great place to live? I mean,
Speaker 1: just wow?
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: Well, Suki and Laura I get into a tiff, right,
Speaker 1: They have a very emotional conversation regarding the next steps
Speaker 1: they to do with the end, and where Lurlai flies
Speaker 1: just sort of flat out tell Suki she can't be
Speaker 1: her sporadic self when it comes to business anymore, which
Speaker 1: which ultimately hurts Suki's feelings and it would. And then
Speaker 1: you have a heartfelt conversation with Luke and laurealizing lurla
Speaker 1: I apologizing to Suki for her behavior. All right, all right,
Speaker 1: working with family and friends is difficult, right? Was Lauraa
Speaker 1: too harsh with Suki?
Speaker 3: I actually think loura I was just kind of lashing out,
Speaker 3: and Suki almost like turned into this childlike being, you know,
Speaker 3: and she becomes so sarcastic, and Lurlai is just I
Speaker 3: mean like she's shooting blanks here, like what's going on?
Speaker 3: At first, I was like, what the heck is this
Speaker 3: fight about? Right, But it's really about her emotions that
Speaker 3: were happening under the surface, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And we saw that. We saw that with the
Speaker 1: painting too, the Rory painting too in the study where
Speaker 1: she kind of popped at Emily. Yeah. Yeah, she's on
Speaker 1: edge for sure.
Speaker 3: Yes. One thing is how she transforms into this incredible
Speaker 3: leader at the Independence Inn, and then when she's not there,
Speaker 3: she's just chaos, right, And that and that role of
Speaker 3: her with Suki, and that that conflict Suki was kind
Speaker 3: of the chaos in that moment. You know, she was
Speaker 3: really focused on the little things like the topping of
Speaker 3: the dessert and you know which if you focus too much,
Speaker 3: I like to say, if you focus on the pennies,
Speaker 3: you're going to miss the dollar. Well we don't have
Speaker 3: pennies where I'm from.
Speaker 1: So but anyway, Yeah, yeah, she's a great boss, Laurla,
Speaker 1: And she she's a great boss. She's in her element
Speaker 1: and there are aspects of Emily that rubbed off on
Speaker 1: her right that make her a great boss and a
Speaker 1: great leader. But there is that heart and soul. There
Speaker 1: she became the mother that she never had, absolutely, which
Speaker 1: is a pattern that a lot of people are familiar with.
Speaker 1: So Suki and Laura, what does the conflict reveal about
Speaker 1: the challenges of of turning a friendship into a business partnership.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's very risky, isn't it It is.
Speaker 3: I personally would never do it. I've seen it, you know,
Speaker 3: totally fall apart. I would rather find someone to do
Speaker 3: have a business with if I couldn't do it by myself,
Speaker 3: then become friendly, because I mean, the dynamic changes, right
Speaker 3: being friends and you know, our differences and our strengths
Speaker 3: and challenges. They don't just go away when you go
Speaker 3: into business. They're really highlighted. And that's I think what
Speaker 3: was happening in this scene, the beauty of Suki and
Speaker 3: her ability to you know, pay so much attention to
Speaker 3: detail all of a sudden, a bit of a curse
Speaker 3: with business, And I think that's the scary part. If
Speaker 3: they're already arguing and they haven't even started, yikes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to get those first couple of good
Speaker 1: fights out of the way, and then you're then can
Speaker 1: last if you survive those because a lot of people
Speaker 1: don't get past the first one. No, it depends on
Speaker 1: how brutal is. But anyway, so you think she was
Speaker 1: right to confront Suki in the way that she did.
Speaker 1: Could she have handled it differently? Probably?
Speaker 3: Obviously, I think she could have handled it a little different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she kind of she ostracized her in public.
Speaker 3: She sure did.
Speaker 1: She didn't do it privately and gently. She just sort
Speaker 1: of like let her have it, you know.
Speaker 3: She did, and Suki was pretty delicate, Yeah in that
Speaker 3: in that moment, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well, you know, such as life. Anyway,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the phony murder. Taylor is not pleased
Speaker 1: to find a chalk outline in front of the store, claiming, uh,
Speaker 1: it's clues to a dead body. After three people reported
Speaker 1: seeing Jess the night of the phony murder, Taylor hosts
Speaker 1: a town meaning but started the meeting early as there
Speaker 1: was a special issue with the business community needed to
Speaker 1: just us without Luke's present, So not fair, not fair.
Speaker 1: The people stars hollow upset with both Jess and Luke,
Speaker 1: prompting Rory to confront Jess and defend Luke as the
Speaker 1: entire town seems to be blaming Luke. For Jess's behavior.
Speaker 1: I don't even need to ask this question. You know,
Speaker 1: of course he's going to be bothered Luke. This is
Speaker 1: this is a classic I think this is you know,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of Luke in this episode and a
Speaker 1: lot of rants, but there's also a lot of good Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, he's such a good friend to Laurel I
Speaker 1: when he's reconnecting the goat's head from the hoopah and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, imparting his wisdom from his first year starting
Speaker 1: his his diner business. And so yeah, I mean we
Speaker 1: see that side of Luke that just gets into a rant.
Speaker 1: He's cornered, he feels trapped, and he lashes out. But
Speaker 1: wonderful how Laurel I comes to his defense, and then
Speaker 1: of course Rory later confronting.
Speaker 3: Jess, also comes to his defense.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Really nice to see.
Speaker 3: But he's such a good man.
Speaker 1: Did you think it was fair for the town to
Speaker 1: blame Luke? No, No, that's Taylor's influence. That's Taylor's nefarious
Speaker 1: influence over the town.
Speaker 3: It's such a snob in this episode, like here, you know, here,
Speaker 3: here's this kid that wouldn't have had a home, and
Speaker 3: he's got everything against him, right, except his beloved uncle
Speaker 3: who is I mean, you know, even Jess is against Luke,
Speaker 3: and yet he still perseveres and is trying to do
Speaker 3: good for this this kid who keeps messing up in
Speaker 3: the town.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you think Luke at this point feels like
Speaker 1: he's failing both the town and just because it seems
Speaker 1: like everybody's so upset with him.
Speaker 3: I think he's frustrated. Yes, maybe not failing, but he
Speaker 3: definitely is wavering on that line, not sure what's going
Speaker 3: to happen.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, all right, let's get to the oil painting.
Speaker 1: This was very funny. During a Friday night dinner, Emily
Speaker 1: reveals she wants an oil painting of Rory. She even
Speaker 1: arranges for Rory to pose in a chair in an
Speaker 1: awkward position with her arm draped over her head and
Speaker 1: a swan as a prop. Lorelei calls reacts with her
Speaker 1: trademark sarcasm when she sees the prompting Emily to remark
Speaker 1: that she can be so harsh sometimes. She really did
Speaker 1: come down on Emily was trying to do a nice thing.
Speaker 1: She's just so out of touch with these two, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just but it's like this old school tradition,
Speaker 1: we let's have a painting for Richard. And she was
Speaker 1: she was just trying to do something nice for her husband,
Speaker 1: who she really sympathized with being on the road and
Speaker 1: missing him.
Speaker 3: That's all she's got, her class, that's it, that's it.
Speaker 3: That's all she knows. So she's gonna stay safe, right yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: But did you see how Laura I really want still
Speaker 3: wants her mom's approval. Like when even at the dinner
Speaker 3: table before that, you know, Emily says, do you want
Speaker 3: to mirror in front of your face? You can finish
Speaker 3: your conversation. She goes, sorry, mom, Right, you can see
Speaker 3: she could have come back, but she really does want
Speaker 3: her mom's approval. It's like that again, that paradox of
Speaker 3: conflict and connection throughout the whole episode.
Speaker 1: It's just, you know, these verbal beatdowns from Emily. But
Speaker 1: I mean, the behavior is very provocative coming out of Laura,
Speaker 1: isn't it?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 1: Is I mean, with cutting Emily out of the conversation
Speaker 1: and just quipping her daughter to reject reject, Oh here
Speaker 1: we go, careful, don't commit to it. I mean it's
Speaker 1: I mean, in real life and real time that is
Speaker 1: annoying to Emily, she's annoyed by.
Speaker 3: This, But why do you think she's doing that?
Speaker 1: Well, I think because she is. I think both women
Speaker 1: are deeply hurt. I think that all that's coming from
Speaker 1: lorealized pain and not being able to connect with her
Speaker 1: own mother consistently. And you know that's sarcasm, and that
Speaker 1: that humor comes out as a as a defense mechanism, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just how to keep the distance and
Speaker 1: how to keep it safe. And this is how I
Speaker 1: feel safe, and you know I can't be vulnerable or
Speaker 1: intimate with my own mother, I mean, and that's where
Speaker 1: all this humor comes from. And it's it's glorious to watch,
Speaker 1: but it's really I mean, it's very sad, you know,
Speaker 1: very very sad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I agree with that. Right Often, people, especially kids,
Speaker 3: they act out in the worst ways to have some connection, right, right,
Speaker 3: So that lashing out is is a connection. Gossiping, it's connecting,
Speaker 3: you know, and any of those those ways, it's still connecting,
Speaker 3: even if it's hurtful.
Speaker 1: And I think after Laura, I apologize for the painting,
Speaker 1: uh drubbing. Uh. You know, Emily showed some real grace
Speaker 1: in accepting her apology.
Speaker 3: Yes she did, and I'm glad.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that Laura I apologized. I really am.
Speaker 3: I wish there was a hug. I was hoping they
Speaker 3: were going to have embrace. But that's just not them.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm a hugger, you know. I have
Speaker 3: so many clients that say, my parents never hugged me, right,
Speaker 3: and that wild And I recently had somebody that said,
Speaker 3: I can't say I love you. Anybody said, can you
Speaker 3: say I love you to your child? Nope, can't do it.
Speaker 3: What about your dog? Oh yeah, I can do that
Speaker 3: because my dog loves me back wild Eh. What a
Speaker 3: different world we would live in if everybody was vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Well, they say, a twenty second hug, you know, creates
Speaker 1: all of these wonderful chemical reactions inside of a child
Speaker 1: and with the parent as well. There's a there's a
Speaker 1: bonding that happens.
Speaker 3: Hugs are important, they sure are, but not to Emily Gilmore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just a generation. That's that generation that they
Speaker 1: were tough man. They really withheld, withheld, withheld, and that
Speaker 1: was their control and their power over and you know
Speaker 1: all that bs right, that is too bad? All right now,
Speaker 1: we get to the closing scene, Emily shows up at
Speaker 1: the end this big scene to meet the woman who
Speaker 1: raised her daughter, and Mia tells Emily, upon seeing young
Speaker 1: Laura l I with a baby in her arms, that
Speaker 1: if that were her daughter, she would have wanted someone
Speaker 1: to take her in. Wow. Devastating, Emily says, she would
Speaker 1: have wanted her to send her home. And that's where
Speaker 1: we see Emily is just completely disconnected from anybody else's
Speaker 1: emotional life. This is a truly self centered, egotistical, stubborn
Speaker 1: woman who cannot see beyond her own.
Speaker 3: Knows and uh wow, not even a thank you, nothing,
Speaker 3: just ice, just entitled.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And that no wonder Loralai left.
Speaker 1: Right mm hmm oh yeah, I mean she.
Speaker 3: Was just suffocating in there, right yeah. And that I
Speaker 3: think is the life for a lot of people, not
Speaker 3: really a home the way that independence in was for Loorlai.
Speaker 1: How many young kids in this country over the decades
Speaker 1: have been searched of left home and they're searching for
Speaker 1: their meya.
Speaker 3: So many, so so.
Speaker 1: Many, and they a lot don't find their medya.
Speaker 3: They don't.
Speaker 1: The massive problem, you know, that's parents, take heed, hug
Speaker 1: your kids, tell them you love it.
Speaker 3: That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1: I mean if you were to give one piece of advice,
Speaker 1: you know, before the end, before you went on that
Speaker 1: long vacation my end, well whoever, I mean that that
Speaker 1: would be my advice. How of your kids tell them
Speaker 1: you love them like every day multiple times?
Speaker 3: And yes, take I don't think I can say this
Speaker 3: word on the air, but take the bee out of
Speaker 3: the obituary that is in my book, because in other words,
Speaker 3: you need to be vulnerable, right right? What kind of
Speaker 3: legacy do you want to leave?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Do you want? Is it going to say, well, worked
Speaker 3: fifty hours on your epitaph or made a beautiful painting
Speaker 3: with ours up actually happened to be the book? So
Speaker 3: what kind of legacy are you going to leave? Because remember,
Speaker 3: people don't remember what you teach them. They remember how you,
Speaker 3: how they felt around you, right right, So this whole episode,
Speaker 3: and if you take that perspective of how Loralai felt
Speaker 3: around Mia compared to her mom, and the difference in
Speaker 3: her mannerism so different. So great.
Speaker 4: Summer is this season of love Summer Loven, here we come.
Speaker 4: If you're old enough to remember Summer Loven, you're old
Speaker 4: enough to find and I Do Part Two. Listen each
Speaker 4: week as our hosts make it their goal to find
Speaker 4: you the next true love of your life. Jenny Garth,
Speaker 4: Jana Kramer, Alexia Napola, Cheryl Burke, Jen Fessler, Kelly ben Simone,
Speaker 4: Amy Roebock, and TJ. Holmes are dedicated to helping you
Speaker 4: fall in love again. It's time to make it hot,
Speaker 4: hot hot this summer.
Speaker 1: Listen to I Do Part Two on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You know,
Speaker 1: it's really interesting to start a series this way with
Speaker 1: such a unexpectedly powerful move by a sixteen year old
Speaker 1: Laurel I with a baby. That is a power move. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know
Speaker 1: how empowering it would be. She just knew she had
Speaker 1: to get away and the only way her gut was
Speaker 1: telling her get away from this. This is too toxic
Speaker 1: to even deal with. I do not want my baby
Speaker 1: anywhere near this right right. What a brave thing to
Speaker 1: do for a sixteen year old. And that's where this
Speaker 1: series begins, with this power move, this conscious or no
Speaker 1: right power move from this Laureli Gilmore with a baby Rory, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as if she didn't have a choice, she had
Speaker 3: to do it.
Speaker 1: Then we meet her sixteen years later when her daughter's
Speaker 1: sixteen years old. What a hook, What a powerful hook,
Speaker 1: and all of this unfolding before us. This is, you
Speaker 1: know what, tyrants and bullies and and I've had a
Speaker 1: great deal of experience with this. Never expect. The one
Speaker 1: thing they don't expect when they with her friends or
Speaker 1: business colleagues or family members. What they never expect is
Speaker 1: that you can just leave. You can just cut them off.
Speaker 1: And it's an amazingly empowering thing.
Speaker 3: You know what, Scott, There's three things that often keep
Speaker 3: us stack in, you know, any adverse childhood experiences, traumatic events,
Speaker 3: awful things, lack of choice, lack of safety or responsibility.
Speaker 3: You can cover those three things. We really can be
Speaker 3: free of a lot of those awful feelings of shame
Speaker 3: and guilt. And so many people feel stuck. Right but Laurela,
Speaker 3: I didn't she did it.
Speaker 1: I think of all the characters in this show, people
Speaker 1: ask me all the time, you know, how are you
Speaker 1: similar to Luke? And you know who I'm similar to
Speaker 1: is Larelai?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I identify with that very very strongly, that
Speaker 1: will to power, that will to cut off, that will
Speaker 1: to to reinvent, that will to heal the wounds, and
Speaker 1: knowing and staying positive and knowing that there's a better situation,
Speaker 1: there's a better future. What a great role model, What
Speaker 1: a great thing. This is the power of this show.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's that, you know, it's that that courageous
Speaker 1: Laureli Gilmour.
Speaker 3: What were your dreams?
Speaker 1: My dream we're going to do a little therapy, Okay, well.
Speaker 3: But Lareli's dream of having her own in right, and
Speaker 3: her dream of leaving home and you know, the home
Speaker 3: of the independence in and what was your dream?
Speaker 1: Well, when I was a kid growing up, my dream
Speaker 1: was to be a ski racer, believe or not in
Speaker 1: New Jersey where that just wasn't gonna happen. No, it's flat,
Speaker 1: there aren't really any mountains, and yet here I was wanting,
Speaker 1: wanting to be a ski racer. I don't know, And
Speaker 1: we didn't have money, you know, we didn't have enough
Speaker 1: money for that. I mean, that's an expensive sport. I
Speaker 1: could only afford to go skiing once I, you know,
Speaker 1: got Gilmore girls right then, little little then I had
Speaker 1: enough to go take a ski trip here and there.
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, and then after that, then then after that,
Speaker 1: it was just the dream was to go to college
Speaker 1: and and to figure it out. It wasn't baseball. I
Speaker 1: didn't dream to be a baseball you know. It wasn't that.
Speaker 1: I just kind of I didn't fall into it. It
Speaker 1: was just sort of like, oh, well, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: really good at this. I can I can earn a
Speaker 1: living doing this. I don't know how good a living
Speaker 1: I can earn, but I can be professional and we'll
Speaker 1: see how it goes.
Speaker 3: You know, that kind of wow.
Speaker 1: But it was really, you know, there was there was
Speaker 1: writing involved. You know. I wanted to be a writer
Speaker 1: in my teens and I wrote a great deal and
Speaker 1: I read a great deal of books. So I wanted
Speaker 1: to go to college and study English literature and and
Speaker 1: be a writer.
Speaker 3: Have you wrote any books?
Speaker 1: No, No, I've written chapters, and I've written a lot
Speaker 1: of short stories, and I've written screenplays and I've written, yes, teleplays,
Speaker 1: not not very many teleplays, but screenplays. Yeah. I've started
Speaker 1: a couple of novels and just got stuck. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: you really have to confront your game and is doing
Speaker 1: that in a room, right, It's it's terrifying. So yes,
Speaker 1: it is, you know, the writing bug and the writing
Speaker 1: gene is in my family. But nice you know, uh,
Speaker 1: the dream shift opportunities present themselves. You know, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, God laughs at people that make these these
Speaker 1: very detailed plans for their lives, right because they never
Speaker 1: take into consideration the the chaotic nature of everyday life,
Speaker 1: right and chance happenings.
Speaker 3: That's also why I don't think Suki and larealize business
Speaker 3: dream is going to come to fruition like based on
Speaker 3: this episode, because Suki is so her attention to detail
Speaker 3: and then life comes in like there's just it just
Speaker 3: doesn't work right. You can only plan so much, we
Speaker 3: can't control, which is scary in itself.
Speaker 1: Right, Right, I have to say this is I've had
Speaker 1: a lot of not a lot, but I've had a
Speaker 1: few favorite episodes. This one really hit me so far
Speaker 1: at this point in the I am all in process.
Speaker 1: This is my favorite episode.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's the best written, it's beautifully directed.
Speaker 1: I think Michael Cattleman is just such a great director,
Speaker 1: and we had great directors and he was an executive
Speaker 1: producer for the first couple of years. So this, this show,
Speaker 1: in this first couple of seasons, really has Michael Cattleman's
Speaker 1: stamp on it. And you know, I just remember really
Speaker 1: loving working with him and thinking that his episodes were
Speaker 1: just really you know, just crackling good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as they say, there's so much in it.
Speaker 1: And you got a Palladino writing the script. You got
Speaker 1: a Dan Palladino, you know, and it's just like the
Speaker 1: talent here and again. And I'll say it to the
Speaker 1: cows come home, because the cows, the cows come home,
Speaker 1: and then they leave and then they come back. I
Speaker 1: just marveled a not at what I was doing in
Speaker 1: the show. I just marveled at the opportunity that I
Speaker 1: got to be in that show, and I got to
Speaker 1: be in these scenes. You know, you see this this
Speaker 1: side of Luke that comes out when he hugs me, right,
Speaker 1: this loving, welcoming guy, and then he switch his gears
Speaker 1: and he's he's getting getting tense with Taylor at the counter,
Speaker 1: and then he pops in the in the town hall
Speaker 1: meeting and Ben he's a great friend, and in the
Speaker 1: kitchen with Laurel I repairing the.
Speaker 3: Headless goat that he can go from zero to ten
Speaker 3: like that, right, And.
Speaker 1: Just so much fun to play it, and so lucky
Speaker 1: to have been asked to do that. So just really
Speaker 1: loving the show and so grateful, just so full of gratitude.
Speaker 1: And I know people hear that and they roll their eyes,
Speaker 1: but man, I mean, just the more time that goes by,
Speaker 1: the more I appreciate this, you know. And you know,
Speaker 1: I was in Idaho recently at a comic con and
Speaker 1: I got to meet all the fans. You know, these fans,
Speaker 1: they're newly minted fans, right. There's fans that have been
Speaker 1: loyal since two thousand, twenty five years of loyalty. And
Speaker 1: there's fans that just discovered the show a couple months
Speaker 1: ago or a couple of years ago, and they were
Speaker 1: aware of it, but they never watched it. And then
Speaker 1: they watch it and here they are at comic con
Speaker 1: and they're sharing this energy with me, and they're just
Speaker 1: so excited to be there and talk about the show
Speaker 1: and share their experiences watching the show with their mom
Speaker 1: or their family, or their boyfriend or their husband, their
Speaker 1: dog or their cat. Right, I mean, it's they go
Speaker 1: to sleep with it, the husbands and the boyfriends come
Speaker 1: up to me, and my wife couldn't make it. I
Speaker 1: just want you to I wanted she wanted me to
Speaker 1: get a picture in an autograph with you and all
Speaker 1: this stuff. So you know, you've basically taken over my bedroom.
Speaker 1: And my wife falls asleep to this show now.
Speaker 3: And my husband I caught him singing the song. He's
Speaker 3: like a Harley Davidson.
Speaker 1: I love these guys, man. I just give him a
Speaker 1: hug and say, hang in there.
Speaker 3: Man, I got nothing to my fourteen year old.
Speaker 1: He loves right everybody. It's everybody.
Speaker 3: We can watch it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing. It's just an amazing phenomenon. I was
Speaker 1: also in Oklahoma City's same thanks, same reaction. People have
Speaker 1: been with the show twenty five years and or people
Speaker 1: just discovered it. They just wanted to come and say
Speaker 1: hello and celebrate. And it's just such a great engage,
Speaker 1: passionate fan base and there's so much fun. And I
Speaker 1: love going to these cons. I love going to these kinds.
Speaker 3: This subculture totally.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and it's growing and growing and growing and growing. Anyway,
Speaker 1: final thoughts, and give give me your take on the
Speaker 1: entire seven seasons. Your your your your general take, on
Speaker 1: the entire seven seasons, because I understand you just finished watching.
Speaker 3: One hundred and fifty eight episodes.
Speaker 1: No, really, one hundred and fifty seven, I think.
Speaker 3: Oh was it seven? Okay?
Speaker 1: Is there one hundred and fifty eighth of my God?
Speaker 1: You're going to set that, oh story the Gilmour versus,
Speaker 1: like where there's a missing episode? What is it?
Speaker 3: Maybe only availed in Canada?
Speaker 1: Yeah, one fifty three, two thousand and two thousand and seven,
Speaker 1: and then four Netflix, that's one fifty seven. Maybe it's one.
Speaker 3: Sorry, maybe it one's fished, no worse, maybe I probably
Speaker 3: dreamed one in my head. My final You know what,
Speaker 3: here's a story of you know, real life, how real
Speaker 3: these conflicts can show up in our real life and
Speaker 3: how the fear and all these motions can just drive
Speaker 3: what we do. But it's so important to dream, right
Speaker 3: you know? That's that was really my takeaway, Like the
Speaker 3: opportunities are there, we have choices, and some of the
Speaker 3: dreams that Lora, Lei and Rory had and they get
Speaker 3: to live it out, and the ones that didn't get
Speaker 3: to do that, what was stopping them? You know? It
Speaker 3: doesn't have to be this way, right right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So just because we are like this, we're scared, doesn't
Speaker 3: mean we have to continue. Maybe it's not our fault,
Speaker 3: but it's our responsibility to get over this fear and
Speaker 3: live the dream we have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you must. It's a load you don't have to
Speaker 1: carry anymore. That's right, you know, get rid of it.
Speaker 1: And there's ways to do it. And Jennifer is one
Speaker 1: of those people I am that is compassionate and caring
Speaker 1: and trained by the way, yes, to help you shoulder
Speaker 1: off that load, put it down, and learn how to
Speaker 1: walk in strength going forward.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my book's been helpful to lots of people I've heard.
Speaker 1: Let's hold that book up again. Let's see that book.
Speaker 3: It's a picture of me. Huh. Everything I can't say
Speaker 3: in a session, I say it into here. So there's
Speaker 3: lots of humor and tidbits all about conflict.
Speaker 1: You can get that on Amazon.
Speaker 3: Amazon, Yep, Jennifer Banks, Yes, follow me please. And there's
Speaker 3: a lot of tips and tricks that I like to
Speaker 3: share on TikTok and my socials. I just like helping people,
Speaker 3: I really do. And it's a little bit about my story.
Speaker 3: My husband, God love him, twenty years. This year wasn't
Speaker 3: always easy. He broke his neck in two thousand and
Speaker 3: three and that was the beginning of our story. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so the burdens of what happens with chronic health issues, etc. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but this was wonderful.
Speaker 1: Jennifer Banks, thank you for coming on. One of the
Speaker 1: world's protective angels. Right there. Ladies and gentlemen, get her
Speaker 1: book and book an appointment if you need her, because
Speaker 1: she's wonderful. I've seen her in action, folks, and she is.
Speaker 1: She's one of the best. Jennifer Banks, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. And that's going to wrap up
Speaker 1: Season two, episode eight, the Ins and Outs of Inns.
Speaker 1: Wonderful episode so far, my favorite, my new favorite anyway,
Speaker 1: Jennifer Banks, thanks for joining us and that's good for us.
Speaker 1: Our pleasure and come back any time, by the way,
Speaker 1: I'd love to fascinating discussion. Fascinating discussion. Thanks Roy r.
Speaker 1: Cards and letters and emails and thoughts. Keem com best
Speaker 1: fans on the planet, bar none. Where you lead, we
Speaker 1: will follow. Stay safe everyone, do hey everybody, and don't forget.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at I Am all In podcast
Speaker 1: and email us at Gilmore at iHeartRadio dot com.