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Speaker 1: Change your Life. There are people whose opinion matter in
Speaker 1: specific areas of your life. There are very few people
Speaker 1: whose opinions matter across the entirety of your life. And
Speaker 1: I think that's the challenge. We often take people we
Speaker 1: love and trust as their opinion matters across every area
Speaker 1: of my life. The number one health and wellness podcast
Speaker 1: Jay set Jay Shetty s, Hey everyone, welcome back to
Speaker 1: on Purpose. I am so grateful that you're locked in
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Speaker 1: have five hundred episodes from the last five years that
Speaker 1: you can go back to. If you're a new listener,
Speaker 1: whether you've listened to one episode, welcome, whether you're listening
Speaker 1: to your five hundred episode, welcome back. I am Jay
Speaker 1: Sheddy and I'm so happy to be here with you today.
Speaker 1: Today's theme is stop caring about what people think and
Speaker 1: the signs that we care too much about what people think. Now.
Speaker 1: The reason I dove into this topic is because I
Speaker 1: think we've all had a situation with our friends where
Speaker 1: someone sends a decision they're about to make to the
Speaker 1: group chat and they say, what do you think I
Speaker 1: should say on my dating profile? Or what do you
Speaker 1: think about this guy that I'm dating? Or what do
Speaker 1: you think about this job opportunity that's out there? Or
Speaker 1: what do you think about what I should wear to
Speaker 1: the party this weekend. Now, there's nothing wrong about that.
Speaker 1: It's harmless, it's totally normal. It's natural for us to
Speaker 1: seek validation from the people around us, to seek insight
Speaker 1: from the people around us. But often what we find
Speaker 1: is that we've gone down on a whole where we
Speaker 1: make decisions, choices, and big directives in our life based
Speaker 1: on what other people think. A lot of us when
Speaker 1: we're young chose subjects at school based on what our
Speaker 1: parents taught. We chose where we went to college, maybe
Speaker 1: because of some friends. We maybe even chose what city
Speaker 1: we live in because we were in a romantic relationship
Speaker 1: until it didn't work out. And to so many of
Speaker 1: our decisions, some of our biggest decisions in life are
Speaker 1: made aligned with other people's values and not always with
Speaker 1: our own values. And this episode is all about us
Speaker 1: really getting clear on that it's not bad to make
Speaker 1: a decision based on someone else's value if that value
Speaker 1: aligns with us. It's not bad if we're conscious and aware,
Speaker 1: but it's really important that we recognize it. So I
Speaker 1: want to talk to you a bit about the signs
Speaker 1: that we care too much about what other people think about,
Speaker 1: because sometimes it can be so subtle. Right, it's not
Speaker 1: always so obvious as you buy the same clothes or
Speaker 1: go to the same places. It can be a lot
Speaker 1: more subtle. One of the first ways or signs that
Speaker 1: shows we care too much is that we can be
Speaker 1: easily swayed. So we often take this as a feeling
Speaker 1: of Oh, I'm laid back, I'm open to anything, I'll
Speaker 1: do whatever you want. And really it's because we're scared
Speaker 1: of sharing our opinion because we're scared that people may
Speaker 1: not want to do that. Maybe it's deciding what movie
Speaker 1: to watch or what restaurant to go to. You end
Speaker 1: up at a horror movie even though you absolutely hate them,
Speaker 1: and you end up eating a particular cuisine even though
Speaker 1: it's your least favorite. You're easily swayed because there's a
Speaker 1: part of you that doesn't want to be the one
Speaker 1: to cause conflict. There's a part of you that doesn't
Speaker 1: want to be the one to stand out. Now, you
Speaker 1: may be easy going, You genuinely may not care, and
Speaker 1: that's probable too. But for those of you that are thinking,
Speaker 1: you know what I do get easily swayed. I do
Speaker 1: find it easy to sacrifice and give up on what
Speaker 1: I really care about and what I want. This is
Speaker 1: an important note. Now. I'm not saying that the way
Speaker 1: to do this is to fight for everything you want
Speaker 1: or to retaliate, because often we've been giving people the permission.
Speaker 1: Often we're not easily swayed because someone's persuading us or
Speaker 1: negotiating with us. We're easily swayed because we allow ourselves
Speaker 1: to be. So this is something that we can set
Speaker 1: better boundaries around now. The second sign is you struggle
Speaker 1: to turn things down. You struggle to say no. Right.
Speaker 1: Someone says to you, oh, you're coming out tomorrow night, right,
Speaker 1: And even though you had other plans, even though you
Speaker 1: knew you didn't want to go, you said yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll be there, And then the whole next twenty four
Speaker 1: hours you're going. Why did I say yes? I just
Speaker 1: want to stay indoors. I don't want to go anywhere.
Speaker 1: But now you've said yes. You struggle with saying no.
Speaker 1: You struggle with being clear because we care about what
Speaker 1: people think. We're hoping that people don't think we're boring,
Speaker 1: that people don't think that we're not a good time,
Speaker 1: that people don't stop inviting us. Right, We're worried about
Speaker 1: all of these things. Another sign is that we are
Speaker 1: self proclaimed people pleases. We know that we're constantly trying
Speaker 1: to shape shift. We're constantly trying to be malleable because
Speaker 1: all we want to do is please others, not because
Speaker 1: we genuinely want to please them by who we are,
Speaker 1: but by actually disconnecting from who we are. Another one
Speaker 1: is you outsource your choices. Right, So someone else is
Speaker 1: making decision about what you wear, someone else is making
Speaker 1: a decision about the color of your couch, someone else
Speaker 1: is making a decision about something else. Right, you're basically saying, guys,
Speaker 1: can you make the decision for me? Because I don't
Speaker 1: want to make decisions. And in that way, we almost
Speaker 1: do that because a part of us doesn't want to
Speaker 1: take responsibility. We'd rather be able to say, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: but they told me it was a good idea. I
Speaker 1: thought it was a good idea, And again it comes
Speaker 1: from a lack of trust in ourselves. Now, these are
Speaker 1: all very normal things. This doesn't make you weak, it
Speaker 1: doesn't make you not strong, it doesn't make you not bold,
Speaker 1: it doesn't make you not a good person. These are
Speaker 1: things that we all struggle with, and I still struggle
Speaker 1: with too. Right. I remember a couple of weeks ago
Speaker 1: when I'd already made plans and I had to say
Speaker 1: no to someone and it broke my heart. I still
Speaker 1: feel bad when I have to do that. But I
Speaker 1: started looking into it, and a lot of science and
Speaker 1: research suggests that we have to care what people think
Speaker 1: in order to develop closeness. Right, we have to care
Speaker 1: what people think in order to feel a sense of belonging.
Speaker 1: That's what belonging is all about. And belonging is a
Speaker 1: core tenet in life. We need it. Right. If you
Speaker 1: feel a part of a team, you feel we all
Speaker 1: support the same team, So I do care about what
Speaker 1: you think. Right, If we're going to the same place
Speaker 1: of worship or we go to the same community center,
Speaker 1: we think to ourselves, yeah, I want to feel like
Speaker 1: I fit in and the list goes on and on
Speaker 1: and on, And the truth is, if we didn't care
Speaker 1: about what people think, the world would be chaotic. Can
Speaker 1: you imagine if everyone on planet Earth didn't care what
Speaker 1: anyone thought. That would lead to chaos. If you've ever
Speaker 1: played GTA, that's what it would be like, right where
Speaker 1: there's no consequences, it doesn't matter. You can do whatever
Speaker 1: you want. And I mean, yes, the cops will come
Speaker 1: after you, but the reality is that you kind of
Speaker 1: live in a way that it doesn't matter what you
Speaker 1: do because it's not real. So imagine if we lived
Speaker 1: in a world where everyone did exactly what they wanted.
Speaker 1: Although it's a nice idea in theory, in practice it
Speaker 1: could be extremely, extremely worrying. And so the part that
Speaker 1: we have to understand is there are moments in our
Speaker 1: life where it is healthy to listen to others, where
Speaker 1: it is healthy to care about what other people think.
Speaker 1: And I want to start with that. I want to
Speaker 1: start with when should we care about what other people think.
Speaker 1: One of the ways that I found it really useful
Speaker 1: is if someone has been through an experience previously to you.
Speaker 1: Think about a basic example, someone's been to a country
Speaker 1: before you, someone has been to a concert before you.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that their experience will be your experience,
Speaker 1: but their advice their insight may be useful if you
Speaker 1: want to start a podcast, speaking to someone who started
Speaker 1: a podcast and asking them, what are some of the
Speaker 1: challenges you came up against, What are some of the
Speaker 1: things you were surprised by. What are some of the
Speaker 1: things that were easier than you thought. Being able to
Speaker 1: talk to someone who's one year, three years, five years
Speaker 1: into an experience allows you to understand something deeply. You
Speaker 1: can care about what they think and notice there's a
Speaker 1: difference between caring about what people think and what people
Speaker 1: think of you. I think these two things are often convoluted, right.
Speaker 1: It's like I can care about your opinion as your
Speaker 1: opinion and still not make it my noise and my opinion.
Speaker 1: And I think we don't understand how to filter and
Speaker 1: how to create a distance between these two things that automatically,
Speaker 1: when someone says something, we subconsciously make it our own.
Speaker 1: And so I really want you to consider in your
Speaker 1: life whenever you listen to people, and it's been really
Speaker 1: powerful and useful. I can honestly say I had a
Speaker 1: conversation with someone the other day, they say, shared so
Speaker 1: many great insights with me. It was all about Juni,
Speaker 1: which of course is mine and my wife's sparkling adaptogenic tea.
Speaker 1: And for those of you haven't tried it, please do.
Speaker 1: It's one of our favorite things that we've been working on.
Speaker 1: It's a real passion project. And as we've been building
Speaker 1: Drink Juni as a company and as a brand, we've
Speaker 1: had to take advice from other beverage entrepreneurs who've done
Speaker 1: it before us because we're complete novices, and at that
Speaker 1: point it is important that I care about what they think. Right.
Speaker 1: It's also important to care about what people think when
Speaker 1: it's a group of people that you trust, a group
Speaker 1: of people that you recognize have different things to offer you.
Speaker 1: So there are four c's of connection. The first one
Speaker 1: is care. There are some people that care about you,
Speaker 1: so you care about what they think when it comes
Speaker 1: to caring about you. If you want to know who
Speaker 1: has your best interest at heart, this is the group
Speaker 1: to go to. The second one is consistency. There are
Speaker 1: certain people who are consistently there for you. They've always
Speaker 1: been around, they'll always be around because they are just
Speaker 1: in your life. Again, you care about what they think
Speaker 1: about you in that specific area. I couldn't be more
Speaker 1: excited to share something truly special with all you tea
Speaker 1: lovers out there. And even if you don't love tea,
Speaker 1: if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas that are good
Speaker 1: for you, listen to this RADI and I poured our
Speaker 1: hearts into creating June Sparkling Tea with adaptogens for you
Speaker 1: because we believe in nurturing your body, and with every
Speaker 1: sip you'll experience calmness of mind, a refreshing vitality, and
Speaker 1: a burst of brightness to your day. Juni is infused
Speaker 1: with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances that act like
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Speaker 1: That's drink Jauni dot com, and make sure you use
Speaker 1: the code on Purpose. I think what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: say is that there are people whose opinion matter in
Speaker 1: specific areas of your life. There are very few people
Speaker 1: whose opinions matter across the entirety of your life. And
Speaker 1: I think that's the challenge we often take people we
Speaker 1: love and trust, people that have known us for a
Speaker 1: long time, as their opinion matters across every area of
Speaker 1: my life. And often sometimes we trust someone who barely
Speaker 1: knows us with their opinion of our entire life. The
Speaker 1: third one is competency. This is a really, really important
Speaker 1: point that I want to make. Often we care about
Speaker 1: what people think about us, even when they're not experts
Speaker 1: in the field, and this is potentially one of the
Speaker 1: most damaging times we care about what people think because
Speaker 1: not only are they not an expert, they may not
Speaker 1: be that close to us, yet their opinion matters to
Speaker 1: us so much, Right have you thought about that before?
Speaker 1: Maybe you're working on a project and then someone shares
Speaker 1: their opinion on it. Now, I'm not saying there may
Speaker 1: not be any value in what they're saying, but if
Speaker 1: they're not an expert in that space, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: I often say that to my friends when my friends
Speaker 1: are asking me for advice about a particular career path,
Speaker 1: and I'll stop and I'll say to them, I know
Speaker 1: nothing about that industry. I can give you some life principles.
Speaker 1: I can give you some thought about how humans interact
Speaker 1: in that space, and I can some ancient wisdom and
Speaker 1: science that I've read, but I can't really give you
Speaker 1: an example because that industry is something I don't have
Speaker 1: experience with. And I think that's a really important trait
Speaker 1: of the people around you as well, who can own
Speaker 1: up to when they don't know so. And the last
Speaker 1: one is character. There are people in your life who
Speaker 1: you know when you want to test whether you're doing
Speaker 1: something that's aligned and of the right values, then these
Speaker 1: people carry that character. So you've got care, consistency, competence,
Speaker 1: and character. When you do care about what people think,
Speaker 1: make sure they fit into one of these four categories,
Speaker 1: and you allow them to have an impact based on
Speaker 1: that category. So that's all about choosing your friends wisely.
Speaker 1: Some people will have an opinion about everything right, They'll
Speaker 1: have an opinion about what you're wearing, who you're dating,
Speaker 1: how much money you make, what home you live in.
Speaker 1: And that can be really hard if someone has an
Speaker 1: opinion about everything you're doing, because if they're close to you,
Speaker 1: it starts to become relevant. So choose your friends wisely
Speaker 1: and recognize who are your friends that you value because
Speaker 1: they care for you. Who's the list of people that
Speaker 1: you value because they're competent, who are the consistent people,
Speaker 1: and who are the people of high character. I actually
Speaker 1: want you to write down those four words and make
Speaker 1: lists of people in your life so that the next
Speaker 1: time you're struggling with one of those areas, you have
Speaker 1: someone you can reach out to. And the next time
Speaker 1: you get some unsolicited insight, you get some unsolicited answers
Speaker 1: from one of these people, you can actually think, well,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, do they fit into this category of
Speaker 1: the advice they're giving. This is a great filtering tool,
Speaker 1: Like if someone's giving me career advice, but that's not
Speaker 1: their forte and that isn't something they understand. It doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that I don't think there's value in it. It
Speaker 1: just means that I still have to live my life
Speaker 1: and I can't be sidetracked because otherwise everyone's opinion is
Speaker 1: relevant at all times. I hope that makes sense. It's
Speaker 1: compassionate and kind, but it has to be clear as well.
Speaker 1: This one's a huge one. Don't be someone who gossips
Speaker 1: about others, because if you talk about others, you'll always
Speaker 1: assume people are talking about you. Let me say again,
Speaker 1: if you gossip about others, you'll always think others are
Speaker 1: gossiping about you. You'll always feel that other people are
Speaker 1: talking about you, because that's what you're doing in your
Speaker 1: spare time. In your spare time, you're looking at someone else,
Speaker 1: going can't believe they wore that, can't believe they did that,
Speaker 1: can't believe they're dating so and so, can't believe And
Speaker 1: if you're having that conversation, you're basically creating a projection.
Speaker 1: See the reason why when someone does something really bad
Speaker 1: to us, it's really hard for us to understand because
Speaker 1: we're like, we would never do that to someone, right,
Speaker 1: We think to ourselves. Well, I would never ever do
Speaker 1: that to you, So you don't even you can't even
Speaker 1: wrap your head around it sometimes. And so similarly, when
Speaker 1: you're treating people a certain way, like if you're thinking
Speaker 1: a lot about other people in your head, you're thinking, well,
Speaker 1: they must be thinking about me. We project our own
Speaker 1: insecurities onto the behaviors of others. We project our own
Speaker 1: challenges onto the behavior of others. And so that's really
Speaker 1: really important that we recognize that we don't want to
Speaker 1: be someone who's gossiping or talking about others and then
Speaker 1: struggling because we are lost in that mindset. And apart
Speaker 1: from that, it's just not it's just unhealthy. If it
Speaker 1: constantly speaking about others, we don't have time to speak
Speaker 1: about really big ideas, dreams, goals, things we're working on,
Speaker 1: how we're improving ourselves. And it's a slippery slope, slippery,
Speaker 1: slippery slope, and we often justify that we're doing it
Speaker 1: for the right reason, but we all know that there
Speaker 1: are better things to focus on for our own growth.
Speaker 1: Number three really important, be clear about how you feel
Speaker 1: about yourself. What is important to you think, Like among
Speaker 1: chapter one, I give you an auditing exercise. The auditing
Speaker 1: exercise is writing down what you think you currently value.
Speaker 1: And remember, what you value is not what you think
Speaker 1: you valu it's what you spend your money, your time,
Speaker 1: and your energy on. I always say to people that
Speaker 1: your schedule and your expense report shows you more about
Speaker 1: what you value than what you think in your head. So,
Speaker 1: for example, what's your greatest expenditure. Is it truly on
Speaker 1: family because you say you value family, or is it
Speaker 1: on personal expenses? Right when you say your schedule, if
Speaker 1: you say you truly value your work, but then your
Speaker 1: work doesn't make up that much of your day. So
Speaker 1: when we analyze our money and our time outgoing, that
Speaker 1: shows us what we value. And what I'm asking you
Speaker 1: here is be clear about what you value and whether
Speaker 1: it's actually showing up in your life. The audit exercise
Speaker 1: is writing down the list of your current values and
Speaker 1: then ask you yourself where you got it from. So
Speaker 1: write down a list of your values, write down a
Speaker 1: list of where you got them from, and then ask yourself,
Speaker 1: do I still want this value? I'll give an example.
Speaker 1: There may be someone who has a value that they
Speaker 1: like to spend a lot, and then when they reflect
Speaker 1: on where they got that value, they realize they got
Speaker 1: that value from a parent. And now when they reflect
Speaker 1: on that value themselves, they go, actually, this value is
Speaker 1: not serving me. This value is not helping me build
Speaker 1: a good life. I actually want to change my value.
Speaker 1: This is how we get clear about our values. When
Speaker 1: we get really clear about our values, we now even
Speaker 1: if the result is in in our favor, we still feel, Okay,
Speaker 1: I've had this experience, right, and you've probably had it too,
Speaker 1: where like, you do something it makes no sense to anyone,
Speaker 1: but because it made sense to you, you think to yourself,
Speaker 1: you know what, that's okay, It's okay, right. But oftentimes
Speaker 1: we do things without a sense of personal clarity. We
Speaker 1: take steps without being open and honest with ourselves. Number four,
Speaker 1: opinions don't impact your reality. And want this one to
Speaker 1: sink in. Close your eyes and hear me say this.
Speaker 1: Opinions don't become your reality. What they do is that
Speaker 1: they can become your thoughts. Often we think if someone
Speaker 1: says something, then that's just how it's going to go.
Speaker 1: It's not true. If someone thinks your business isn't gonna work,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean anything. If someone thinks your podcast is
Speaker 1: a bad idea that doesn't necessarily mean anything. If someone
Speaker 1: doesn't think that what you're doing helps people, it doesn't
Speaker 1: necessarily mean anything. And what I've realized is that a
Speaker 1: lot of us get so lost in trying to overvalue
Speaker 1: what someone feels that we undervalue doing the work. So
Speaker 1: when someone else's opinions become your own thoughts, that's when
Speaker 1: it really starts to hurt. That's when it really starts
Speaker 1: to dismantle you. And so what we have to be
Speaker 1: careful of is we have to recognize that everyone's entitled
Speaker 1: to their opinion, but we can't make it a part
Speaker 1: of our inner dialogue. We can't make it a part
Speaker 1: of our inner thought process. Here's an activity I want
Speaker 1: you to do for step number five, I want you
Speaker 1: to think of your three best decisions you've made in life,
Speaker 1: the best decisions you ever made that you could see
Speaker 1: afterwards that they were the best decisions. So, if I
Speaker 1: was to choose mine, one would be choosing to become
Speaker 1: a monk, one would be leaving to become a monk,
Speaker 1: and the third one would be starting the podcast. For example,
Speaker 1: I could pick many others, but those would be three
Speaker 1: that I would consider to be really good decisions in
Speaker 1: my life, some of my best decisions. So I want
Speaker 1: you to make a list of your three best decisions. Now.
Speaker 1: I want you to think about it, because I guarantee
Speaker 1: that your three best decisions in life weren't based on
Speaker 1: other people's opinions. I'm pretty sure that your best three
Speaker 1: decisions in life maybe even made others feel uncomfortable. I
Speaker 1: remember when I chose to become a monk, people didn't
Speaker 1: think that was the best idea. And when I left
Speaker 1: being a monk, people didn't think that was the best idea.
Speaker 1: When I wanted to start my podcast, people didn't think
Speaker 1: it was the best idea. Right, A lot of people didn't. Actually,
Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot of validation for those three decisions.
Speaker 1: But I was really sure that this was going to
Speaker 1: be good for me, that I was really passionate about
Speaker 1: the decisions I was making, And I truly believe that
Speaker 1: your best decisions in life were not influenced by someone else.
Speaker 1: Now that doesn't mean you didn't get inspiration, it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that other people didn't positively impact it. But what
Speaker 1: I find is that they weren't based on the opinion
Speaker 1: of others, And I want you to take confidence in that.
Speaker 1: I want you to take confidence in the fact that
Speaker 1: you have made mad brilliant decisions in the past, and
Speaker 1: they were brilliant because you weren't being impacted by other
Speaker 1: people's opinions. Right. If other people's opinions aligned with you,
Speaker 1: that's great. But you have to ask yourself, is it
Speaker 1: actually making you feel uncomfortable to pursuing the path that
Speaker 1: someone else thinks is good for you? Number six, People
Speaker 1: are not thinking about you as much, as often or
Speaker 1: as deeply as you think they are. Let me say
Speaker 1: that again. Take this one in. Let it sink in.
Speaker 1: People are never thinking about you as much as often
Speaker 1: or as deeply as you think they are. We think
Speaker 1: that people are sitting there just thinking about us, that
Speaker 1: they're talking about us. And I wish I could find
Speaker 1: the studies on how much time people actually spend thinking
Speaker 1: about you, and I promise you it is less than
Speaker 1: one percent of their day. I think we have something
Speaker 1: like forty five thoughts per minute or something like that.
Speaker 1: I promise you there aren't that many thoughts that are
Speaker 1: about you. Most of our challenge with that is we're
Speaker 1: thinking it. We're thinking that people are thinking it about us.
Speaker 1: Going back to my favorite Charles Houghton Cooley quote, which
Speaker 1: you've heard me say a million times, but I'm going
Speaker 1: to say it again because it's my favorite. Charles Houghton
Speaker 1: Cooley said, I'm not what I think I am. I'm
Speaker 1: not what you think I am. I am what I
Speaker 1: think you think I am. Right, let that blow your
Speaker 1: mind for a moment. He said, I am what I
Speaker 1: think you think I am. So we think we think
Speaker 1: we know what other people are thinking about us, and
Speaker 1: we base our perception of ourselves on that. So if
Speaker 1: I think you think I'm weak, then I feel weak.
Speaker 1: If I think you think I'm strong, then I feel strong.
Speaker 1: We want to get out of that inception, right. And
Speaker 1: the last point I wanted to make the point place
Speaker 1: value on the source based on their qualities and attributes.
Speaker 1: Don't misplace don't overvalue someone's opinion without really understanding where
Speaker 1: they're coming from and the place with which it's coming from.
Speaker 1: Is it coming from the place of wanting to invest
Speaker 1: in your growth? Is it coming from being a well wisher?
Speaker 1: Where is it coming from Recognizing that intention can make
Speaker 1: a huge difference. I want to thank you for tuning
Speaker 1: in today. I hope this episode helps you. I hope
Speaker 1: it sparks a conversation. I hope you share it with
Speaker 1: a friend. Remember I am always rooting for you. I
Speaker 1: want you to win, and I'm in your corner forever.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you. Get
Speaker 1: excited for Monday and come back and go back through
Speaker 1: all the episodes and catch up on some of those
Speaker 1: two Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat
Speaker 1: with Adam Grant on why discomfort is the key to
Speaker 1: growth and the strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If
Speaker 1: you know you want to be more and achieve more
Speaker 1: this year, go check it out right now. You set
Speaker 1: a goal today, you achieve it in six months, and
Speaker 1: then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief.
Speaker 1: There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of
Speaker 1: expected it, and you would have been disappointed if it
Speaker 1: didn't happen.