WEBVTT - Will it BE the MOST DRAMATIC WEDDING EVER?! 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:04.840 This is the most dramatic podcast ever and I heart 0:00:04.960 --> 0:00:10.160 radio podcast. Hello and welcome to the most dramatic podcast ever. 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:14.319 I'm Chris Harrison once again, joined by Lauren Ziema here 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:17.280 at the home office in Austin, Texas. We've been away 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:19.560 for a little bit. I mean took a week off. 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:23.759 We were on spring break, springbreak twenty twenty three, and 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:26.520 we have the tattoos to prove it. Oh god, the 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.520 kids had springbreak last week TCU. The Texas schools were 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:35.600 off and we had a great experience because the kids 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.640 had spring break. But we decided we did a kids 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:40.720 spring break and a friend's springbreak. Yeah, we did a 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:43.480 kid's adult spring break. I mean, we're making it sound like, look, 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:45.559 did we do a few tequila shots. Yes. But what 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:47.519 was really sweet about it and how the idea was 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:50.360 born was that your son Josh came to you and said, Dad, 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:53.080 I'd like to go down to Mexico for spring break. 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:56.520 And we ultimately, you know, since he came up with 0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:58.400 the idea, we're like, oh, well, okay, we'll be there 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:00.800 with you, and daughter Taylor wanted to come to it 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:02.800 kind of grew into the kids each bringing a couple 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:04.880 of friends, and then we brought a couple of friends 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:07.200 who know the kids very well, and it turned into 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:11.120 this really beautiful experience. I was almost in tears one night, thinking, 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:14.280 oh my gosh, this is so cool. Chris's kids love 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.600 him and I guess enjoy hanging out with us and 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:21.200 other adults so much that we've just had this like 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:24.040 like they weren't off raging, they were just hanging with us. 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:28.320 It was so cool. There's a time you go through 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:30.960 with your children, and if you have children, you're listening 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:35.000 out there. You know, you're just trying to survive. There's 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:40.160 that survival segment. What is that age range? It's really 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:47.840 zero to high school? Oh high so childhood and you 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:50.480 know what I'm talking about. And it's not lesser than 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:54.040 it's lovely. I remember the great times of seeing Disney 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:56.680 World through my kid's eyes, the marvel of it all 0:01:56.760 --> 0:02:00.680 and fireworks and the things that you started for granted 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:02.320 as an adult, but when you see it through your 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:05.560 kid's eyes, it's different and it's new. I honestly didn't 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:07.880 understand Disney until I went with my kids, and then 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.520 you get it. So I'm not saying it's less than, 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:15.320 but even on those trips, there's a survival factor. You 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.320 you're significant other, You're just trying to get through the day. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:21.440 You're worried about the next meal, the dirty diaper, the 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.320 sun block, all of it. I have heard parents say 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:27.080 the phrase before, we're trying to tire them out. Yeah, 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:29.160 and you're just I mean, you're going from event to 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.680 event and you just hope they pass out at a 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.000 good hour so you can get up and do it 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:37.080 all again. And do you call it surviving with joy? 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:38.919 There needs to be a phrase for it. I mean, 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:43.760 it's parenting. If I'm being honest. There's not as much 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:48.800 joy in the moment as there is later looking back 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:51.240 at it, you're like, I know, I'm building memories here 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:53.519 and that's important. And so a lot of times you 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:55.840 are going through the motions and you're not having the 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:58.720 best time, but you look back with joy. It's a 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:01.480 bit of a beating and I did it. I'm proud 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.040 I did it. And what brings you the most joy 0:03:04.080 --> 0:03:07.280 about looking back at those survival years? I guess just 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:13.280 I know the kids enjoyed those moments, they built memories. 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:16.600 You build memories with them. But here's what's funny, And 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:18.920 I'm not saying let's leave them home and just let 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:21.079 them play with the refrigerator box the rest of the 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.240 rest of their lives. But you know, I talked to 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:25.640 my kids now, and they were fortunate enough to travel 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.000 around the world quite a bit when I was shooting 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.639 the batch or in Bacherette. They don't remember a lot 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:32.760 of it. They don't remember being in Paris, they don't 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:34.840 remember being in Italy. Every now and then I think 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.040 they remember things, but honestly, I think it's from a 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:41.480 picture they've seen. You know, I don't know. We should 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:44.600 talk to a child psychologist sometime. Is it even worth 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.840 these moments? Is it worth traveling around the world? Is 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:49.480 it worth going to Disney when they're too and they 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:52.200 will have no recollection of this moment? Well? Was it 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:54.160 worth it for you as a parent to watch the 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:57.000 joy in their eyes even if they don't remember that time? Sometimes, 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:01.760 but many times not. You you take your kids to 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:05.040 the beach, you wake up, there's the sun screening and 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:08.280 sunscreens in the eyes, and kids are crying and yelling, 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:11.040 and there's the diapers or the swim diapers depending on 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.320 where they are, and that level of potty training and 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:18.960 um it's some heavy lifting and you're carrying so much stuff. 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.640 You got the car seats, so you got the baby. 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:23.920 Be come with stuff. Yeah, they come with a lot 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:27.120 of stuff. So you know, for for a while you 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.960 just feel like home field advantage is a good thing. 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.120 Let's just let's just stay at home, go to the 0:04:32.160 --> 0:04:33.960 community pool, go to a water park, go to the 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:37.120 local lake. Something easy where we can now be back 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.120 home in the friendly confines of our That's why my 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:43.280 friends with young kids are like, come over for dinner. Yeah, 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:47.800 home field advantage is huge. Lady, you stay on the schedule, 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:51.719 be all your crap is there. String it back around, 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:53.719 because I did deter you from your point, which was 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:57.040 you were saying it those times you were surviving, yes, 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:59.280 but now she was triggering. I think I just went 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.599 to a dark play. I'm going to get you another 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:03.599 tequila shot, as if we didn't have enough in Mexico. 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.680 But now we just had this great week hanging with 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.359 your kids who are both I mean in college but 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:13.240 actually legally adults now. And I will go back to 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:16.039 that is, yes they are. Now you will get to 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.560 a point where it is this amazing time to travel 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:21.840 with your kids because they're no longer just your kids. 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:24.040 You're no longer worried about telling them to do stuff 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:26.720 or don't do stuff, and stop hitting your sister. They 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.800 actually become these great young adults that you enjoy spending 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.920 time with and talking to. Now, to answer your first question, 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.919 I think the groundwork was laid in all those trips 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:41.440 how to act, how to be. I think whatever that 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:44.400 little chromosome is to go out and experience life and 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:46.880 love to travel and love to do things. I think 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:50.200 you get that from those early days, and so maybe 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:54.560 one begets the other well totally right. I mean, look, 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:56.839 I think parenting is the hardest job in the world 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.520 and no human interestingly, it's the one thing we don't 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:01.520 go to school for. It's the one job you don't 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:04.560 have to get a certification for, and yet you're responsible 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.119 for human life. Now. I always say the craziest moment 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.520 is when you just walk out of the hospital with 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.160 you know, no user guide, no nothing, and you just 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:15.000 you're carrying your child and you strap them into the 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:17.400 car seat and you're driving home. You just keep looking 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:20.479 in the review mirror thinking how did they let me 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:23.400 drive home with a child? I have a human being 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.280 in my car. I don't know what to do with it, 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:28.640 and they did. They just let me leave. There was 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.480 no doctor that said you should fill out a form 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:35.359 first anything. I just here's your baby, Go live life. 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.520 But I was actually having a conversation with the kids. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:41.240 We were talking about just like parenting. I was talking 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.159 to some of their friends about it, and I'm like, look, you, guys, 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:46.719 I look at my own mom, and Okay, if I 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:50.440 was going to go back, did she do everything perfectly? No? 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:55.440 But what human can parent perfectly? It is impossible to do. 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:59.760 No one prepares you for it. And look all those 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:02.760 mistake whatever, the things you do along the way make 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:06.280 us all unique. And most importantly, it's about where you 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:09.800 end up, right, And I look at what do I 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:12.480 wish my mom hadn't let's open up the trauma door, 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:15.720 you know, done things like not let me hang out 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:19.680 with any friends after prom or not or not ground 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.160 me for getting anything less than an A. But anyway, 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:24.800 if that was my worst problem in life, I got 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.600 off great, and I think it all worked like I 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:33.040 became a successful, competent, accomplished individual. So you go through 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.160 those years of survival, you do the best you can 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:38.800 and what you've ended up with is two amazing kids, 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:43.720 and they had amazing friends. And we were literally sitting 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:46.280 there like you and I kind of expected that they 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:48.480 want to go out one night and you know, kind 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.080 of go crazy and have some spring break fun, and 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.119 it said we were just like playing cards and hanging 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.560 and having a great time. I think the takeaway is 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:58.240 I've always said this, there's two things you can do 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:02.520 as a parent. You can love your kids and be 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.720 present in their lives. Those are the two most important things. Now. 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.920 Between those two navigational beacons, there's this huge spectrum of 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:10.760 decisions you're going to make and things you're going to do, 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:13.360 and some are good, some are bad, like you're saying, 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:18.280 but those two pillars, I think of the most important things. 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:21.840 I always tell young new parents love them and be present. 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.320 And when I say be present, I think that led 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:27.600 to them being the people they are now because you 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:29.680 know who their friends are, You've spent time with them. 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.960 And it's not being the overbearing helicopter parent, which I 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.319 probably have been at times. You ebb and flow through 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:39.960 that stuff, but being present in their lives is so 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:42.800 vital and so important to know who they're hanging out 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:46.320 with what they're into, and so we have this common bond. 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:49.600 And they're very different human beings. My daughter is so 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:53.439 different than Josh my boy, and I don't treat them 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.080 the same. I don't talk to them the same. We 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:59.079 have different experiences together. I love my time with Tay 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:01.600 and I love my time with They're very different, and 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:04.000 I love that about them. They're very unique individuals and 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.320 I think treating them as such is huge. And so 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.920 when we go on these trips now as adults, the 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:11.559 groundwork has been laid. I think if you haven't done 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.280 the groundwork, if you haven't laid that foundation, when they 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:18.080 get to be nineteen twenty one, you're going on a 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:21.840 trip with a stranger, and you're the stranger, They're not 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:23.200 going to want to be with a stranger. They're going 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:24.959 to want to be with someone they can relate to 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.480 and someone who they consider a friend. And and I'm 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:30.800 not saying be your kid's friend. And I was very 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:34.959 careful while my kids were growing up to remind them 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:38.240 I'm not your friend, I'm your dad, I'm your parents. 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:42.959 You know what, I just realized you avoided being their 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.440 friend when they were a kid, so that you could 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.120 be their friend when they became an adult. That's the 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:52.640 bumper sticker. That's what you truly, that's what you do, 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.280 you know, because now they just love to hang out 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:57.800 with you. Your mom always says this, Donna shout out 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:02.080 about doing the work now, Do the work now, or 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:06.080 do twice as much work later. When it comes to kids. Yeah, 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.640 you make the hard decisions. You parent. You don't just 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.400 you know, be their friend and hope they like you. 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.040 But you make those hard decisions, and you're you're somewhat 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:17.960 strict on them now when they're young, so that later 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:20.120 there is less work to do because they are better 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.000 human beings. Wow. Well, I mean we that was a 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:25.920 good a lot of good takeaways for the fact that, 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.040 like what we've avoided addressing is that we're adults who 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:30.640 just made up an excuse to go on spring break. 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:35.080 And as you mentioned, uh, we did invite some friends 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:38.920 and that did include a couple of our best friends, 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:42.400 Andrew and Ivana Firestone. Yes, bachelor number was he four? 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:44.560 I think it was four. He was four. I think 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:49.280 it was our fifth season overall. Yeah, it was Alex Michelle. 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:51.320 Then we went to Aaron Burge. Then I think Trista 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:54.280 came in as the Bachelorette, and then Bob Ginny, and 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:55.680 then I think it was Andrew, so he would have 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:58.600 been five. What was so incredible was hearing stories like 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:02.280 about how Andrew remembers Josh being so little that he 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.120 could like pick him up and send him down a counter. 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:06.720 And you and Andrew were becoming friends then, and that 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:09.440 now to see him hang like all of us still 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.160 hanging out, it was such a beautiful week. It was 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.120 just great. Yeah, when I met Andrew, this would have 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:17.240 been back in what two thousand and three, somewhere around there, 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:21.000 that Josh was one two years old. I remember taking 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:22.800 him to lunch when I met Andrew for the first 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:25.199 time when we named him the Bachelor, and we're sitting 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.600 at a restaurant and he and Josh got like throwing 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:29.840 French fries at each other. There was a little food fight, 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.080 and that's how they met each other. And I have 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.720 watched his kids be born and grow up. He's watched 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:38.360 my kids grow and it's an amazing friendship all that 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.000 came out of that franchise. So I am always I 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:44.520 always say I'm grateful for that. And this also to 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:48.080 say for all of you parents with young kids entering 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:52.400 into the dangerous territory of spring break trips. I feel you. 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:57.000 I love you. Survive, get through it. You're building the 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:02.600 foundation for a greater tomorrow. It's your presidential parents. Yes, 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.560 I feel you. It is. Look I'm telling you, there's 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:08.760 just some moments when you are putting your lathering up 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:10.400 your kids, you're going to the beach, and you're just 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:14.840 like everyone's screen overall sunscreen always, no matter what age. 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.000 I mean, I will say I was still spraying sunscreen 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:18.760 on the kids. But man, you're just thinking what am 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:20.920 I doing here now? I'm telling them, don't tan, please, 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.920 don't tell, don't lay out, put the fifty on. Happy 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:27.120 spring break to everybody. And we had a pretty drama 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:30.000 free spring break, we did, but the drama found us 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:34.800 there was I got it. I got this text message. 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.400 I have a group of buddies I used to be 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:38.760 golf buddies with back in Los Angeles, and I got 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:43.480 this text message about this kind of hilarious scandal that 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.200 was going on at this old club near where you 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:51.000 and I lived, Sherwood Country Club out in Westlake Village, California. 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.199 We used to live in Westlake and I was actually 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.040 member a member of this club for a little bit 0:12:56.160 --> 0:13:00.280 before I left, and there was a cheating scan handle. 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:03.480 Not the craziest thing that there was an affair. This 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:07.240 man had an affair with an alleged affair with the 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:09.720 tennis pro, one of the tennis pros. I mean it 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:13.000 sounds like you're, you know, writing a bee treat book, 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.200 so it checks a lot of boxes of standard drama. 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.320 This was This was fodder in my group text message 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.840 and we were kind of laughing about everybody's making their jokes, 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:26.439 and somebody sent me the letter. I have the actual 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:31.000 this letter. What happened was the woman who was cheated 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:36.600 on by her husband, she took the directory from the 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:40.760 club and sent everybody a hard copy letter, a stamp 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.679 letter in your mailbox. She sent everybody a letter, wait 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:49.360 what detailing this affair warning, not even an email, warning 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:54.560 the community of this act that had taken place against her. 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:58.240 And I have the actual letter with me. It was 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.120 sent to me. I'm going to read you this. I 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.360 didn't think much of it, but this story then blew up. 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.120 It's in the New York Post. It's in page six. 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:08.120 I believe it was in the Daily Mail. I was 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:09.680 going to say, we have to clarify that the reason 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.440 you're bringing it up is because it's now become a headline, 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:15.320 a dramatic headline, like you got sent this by one 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:17.679 of our producers and the person said, do you want 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:20.040 to talk about this on the podcast this week? It 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:21.720 was like a page sixth article, like you said, It 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:25.040 was in daily mail and you're like, wait, someone texted 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:28.640 me that days ago, and I have the actual letter this. 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.240 So you thought it was just country club drama, but 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:33.840 it is main national news and here is the letter 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:36.800 that this woman sent her entire country club. Okay, so 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.560 this just think about this. You're going to your mailbox. 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.160 It's a Tuesday. You open up a letter from this 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:45.320 woman you don't know, and it says, dear Sherwood Members. 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.800 Like many of you, I, my children, and my husband 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:53.280 have been longtime members. I feel it's necessary for my 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:57.120 own sake and maybe even yours, to tell all of 0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:01.080 you what happened to me where I live, a place 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:04.320 I bragged to my friends by calling it my community, 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:08.520 filled with good people, a safe environment. To my horror, 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:12.520 I recently found out my husband had been romantically involved 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:16.160 with one of our tennis club employees. She actually named 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:20.360 her here where I live. I feel betrayed. She's also 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:24.480 been to our home. I'm letting our community of respectable 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:29.400 families and members of this home wrecker. She's missing a 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:33.440 few words, Yes, who's working among us? I have to 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.400 see her and see her smug smile at the pub. 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.520 The pub is a kind of a little I know, 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:40.960 you know what a pub is. But there's a place 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:44.200 called the Pub at Sherwood, and so I'm trying hard 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:47.000 to avoid her, keep her away from my children, but 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:50.080 she's there. She has no respect for this community. I 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:53.520 never expected this to happen. We engage and are friendly 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:56.480 to the employees that work here, and this is what 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.080 happened to our family, my husband and I. This is 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.520 the best part. My husband and I are working this 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:09.040 out privately, are you? But I couldn't remain silent. I 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:12.200 don't trust her. She's here as an employee, and she's 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:15.000 become a home wrecker, one that I have to run 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.680 into time to time. I can no longer keep this 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:21.400 to myself. We chose this community for many good and 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:25.040 healthy reasons, but it's been a nightmare. I have to 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:28.400 see her in an exclusive club. I belong to. I 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.600 had to break my silence. I'm so sad this happened 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:37.880 in my own paradise. Wow, that is the full letter 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:41.680 that the entire membership of Sherwood Country Club received. Now 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:43.560 I have to I have to ask a quick question. 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.560 I'm looking at it. You have it, she didn't sign it. 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:49.080 Do people know who this is? Is there any way? 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:51.360 This is a prank? Not a prank? How do you 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.320 know this has been confirmed by the people at the 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:55.720 club that I your friends. I actually have a picture. 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:58.680 I won't post this, but I have a picture of 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:03.160 the couple and the woman. There is the only discrepancy 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:06.760 I have, and the wife may be mistaken here. I 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.400 don't think she's actually a tennis pro. Well, she says 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.840 tennis club employee. Yes she I from what I understand 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:15.080 from my people on the ground, I think she just 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:18.199 works at the pub. Oh, I think she's just one 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.000 of the cocktail waitresses. Woman actually kind of gave her 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:25.000 a nice promotion. Yes, and so. But the fact that 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:27.280 this is blown up in this community, and I want 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.480 to know the only reason that you felt okay reading 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.240 this is because this had already been published in part, 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.240 like in page six in the Daily Mail. Now it's 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:35.840 in the New York Post, in the Daily Mail. This 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.639 has gone national? Okay, and so and the fact that 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:42.960 she mailed a hard copy to four or five hundred people. 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:46.480 First of all, I wish i'd imagine working at the 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:50.280 FedEx where she bought this printed out. But here's here's 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:56.480 here's my question to you. Yes, reading that letter, it 0:17:56.600 --> 0:18:00.960 really seems like the husband had no part in this 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:06.320 the affair. Oh. I mean, she's not blaming him at all, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.560 Like she's like, you know, this happened to my family, 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:13.280 This happened to my husband. This is a nightmare. How 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:15.520 did this woman do that? I have to see this woman. 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:19.040 And again, granted, yes the woman. It takes two to tango, 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:22.159 but I think you may want to just look a 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:26.400 little bit at home, and your husband is a much 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:28.680 bigger issue to deal with here. Well, you know, as 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:30.639 she says, quote, my husband and I are working this 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.719 out private. Yes, maybe she's not going to name him, 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.800 she names the woman. I look, I guess this is 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.960 so wild to me that I've forgot for my brain 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:43.600 to even go there. But a yes, you're right, as 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:47.399 it's always that to share the blame, you know, it's funny. 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:50.160 I mean, it's cheating on trend nationally. Maybe that why 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:52.960 did this story make the news? Because the Vanderpump scandal 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.800 happened and media are thinking like, oh, literally, cheating is 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:57.800 trending right now, it's a hot topic. Let's so let's 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.520 just make this random country club story at national news story. 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:02.280 And it really is because the fact that it got 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:04.679 into the New York Post and the Daily Mail is 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:08.679 fascinating to me that this story from Westlake Village, California, 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:10.840 and it just it hit home for me because it 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:13.040 was close to our home. I know a lot of 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.080 the members there. We were there for quite some time, 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:19.440 and it's just fascinating that this blew up so big. 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.800 And you're right, that's the question I asked you the 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:25.720 other day. Why are these scandals getting so much pressed? 0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:28.159 I think this one because of vander Pump rules. I 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:31.120 think it's like piggybacking off of I mean that's media 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:32.960 kind of works like that. If one topic is big, 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:34.960 you keep writing. If you see it's clicking while you 0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:37.720 keep adding on to it, adding onto it, fueling the fire. Literally, 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:42.560 but I do it does again bring up that because 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.240 you just mentioned the not mentioning the husband deal. I 0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:49.200 keep thinking about the who's to blame and how much 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:51.439 to blame. I think it's so case by case, but 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:54.600 I've come up with this. I think in cheating, both 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:57.320 parties are to blame, but both parties might not share 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:01.640 equal blame. What do you think equal? I think both 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:08.919 parties are to blame. Both parties aren't equally responsible in 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:14.639 that the husband is much more responsible to his wife 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:18.640 and family than the waitress who doesn't know them, so 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:22.240 he's much more respond both both to blame. Yes, he's 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:25.359 more responsible. Because I was actually talking I was talking 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:26.640 to a friend about this, you know, as the vander 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:29.600 pump roll scandal continues, and we were talking about like, 0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:33.320 when are you also obligated say that you're Because I 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.040 knew a friend who she went on a few days 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.199 with this guy, finds out he is actually still married, 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:41.720 Like he was a bit older, he didn't have social 0:20:41.720 --> 0:20:44.719 media and so she couldn't really look this up, but 0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:47.359 he had told her, look, I'm separated from my wife. 0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:50.880 No finds out like it's still married, not separated, still 0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:55.200