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Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and I heart

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Speaker 1: radio podcast. Hello and welcome to the most dramatic podcast ever.

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Speaker 1: I'm Chris Harrison once again, joined by Lauren Ziema here

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Speaker 1: at the home office in Austin, Texas. We've been away

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Speaker 1: for a little bit. I mean took a week off.

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Speaker 1: We were on spring break, springbreak twenty twenty three, and

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Speaker 1: we have the tattoos to prove it. Oh god, the

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Speaker 1: kids had springbreak last week TCU. The Texas schools were

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Speaker 1: off and we had a great experience because the kids

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Speaker 1: had spring break. But we decided we did a kids

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Speaker 1: spring break and a friend's springbreak. Yeah, we did a

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Speaker 1: kid's adult spring break. I mean, we're making it sound like, look,

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Speaker 1: did we do a few tequila shots. Yes. But what

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Speaker 1: was really sweet about it and how the idea was

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Speaker 1: born was that your son Josh came to you and said, Dad,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to go down to Mexico for spring break.

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Speaker 1: And we ultimately, you know, since he came up with

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Speaker 1: the idea, we're like, oh, well, okay, we'll be there

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Speaker 1: with you, and daughter Taylor wanted to come to it

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Speaker 1: kind of grew into the kids each bringing a couple

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Speaker 1: of friends, and then we brought a couple of friends

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Speaker 1: who know the kids very well, and it turned into

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Speaker 1: this really beautiful experience. I was almost in tears one night, thinking,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is so cool. Chris's kids love

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Speaker 1: him and I guess enjoy hanging out with us and

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Speaker 1: other adults so much that we've just had this like

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Speaker 1: like they weren't off raging, they were just hanging with us.

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Speaker 1: It was so cool. There's a time you go through

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Speaker 1: with your children, and if you have children, you're listening

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Speaker 1: out there. You know, you're just trying to survive. There's

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Speaker 1: that survival segment. What is that age range? It's really

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Speaker 1: zero to high school? Oh high so childhood and you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. And it's not lesser than

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Speaker 1: it's lovely. I remember the great times of seeing Disney

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Speaker 1: World through my kid's eyes, the marvel of it all

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Speaker 1: and fireworks and the things that you started for granted

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Speaker 1: as an adult, but when you see it through your

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Speaker 1: kid's eyes, it's different and it's new. I honestly didn't

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Speaker 1: understand Disney until I went with my kids, and then

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Speaker 1: you get it. So I'm not saying it's less than,

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Speaker 1: but even on those trips, there's a survival factor. You

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Speaker 1: you're significant other, You're just trying to get through the day.

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Speaker 1: You're worried about the next meal, the dirty diaper, the

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Speaker 1: sun block, all of it. I have heard parents say

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Speaker 1: the phrase before, we're trying to tire them out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you're just I mean, you're going from event to

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Speaker 1: event and you just hope they pass out at a

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Speaker 1: good hour so you can get up and do it

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Speaker 1: all again. And do you call it surviving with joy?

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Speaker 1: There needs to be a phrase for it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's parenting. If I'm being honest. There's not as much

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Speaker 1: joy in the moment as there is later looking back

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Speaker 1: at it, you're like, I know, I'm building memories here

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Speaker 1: and that's important. And so a lot of times you

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Speaker 1: are going through the motions and you're not having the

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Speaker 1: best time, but you look back with joy. It's a

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Speaker 1: bit of a beating and I did it. I'm proud

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Speaker 1: I did it. And what brings you the most joy

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Speaker 1: about looking back at those survival years? I guess just

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Speaker 1: I know the kids enjoyed those moments, they built memories.

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Speaker 1: You build memories with them. But here's what's funny, And

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying let's leave them home and just let

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Speaker 1: them play with the refrigerator box the rest of the

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Speaker 1: rest of their lives. But you know, I talked to

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Speaker 1: my kids now, and they were fortunate enough to travel

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Speaker 1: around the world quite a bit when I was shooting

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Speaker 1: the batch or in Bacherette. They don't remember a lot

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Speaker 1: of it. They don't remember being in Paris, they don't

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Speaker 1: remember being in Italy. Every now and then I think

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Speaker 1: they remember things, but honestly, I think it's from a

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Speaker 1: picture they've seen. You know, I don't know. We should

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Speaker 1: talk to a child psychologist sometime. Is it even worth

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Speaker 1: these moments? Is it worth traveling around the world? Is

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Speaker 1: it worth going to Disney when they're too and they

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Speaker 1: will have no recollection of this moment? Well? Was it

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Speaker 1: worth it for you as a parent to watch the

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Speaker 1: joy in their eyes even if they don't remember that time? Sometimes,

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Speaker 1: but many times not. You you take your kids to

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Speaker 1: the beach, you wake up, there's the sun screening and

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Speaker 1: sunscreens in the eyes, and kids are crying and yelling,

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Speaker 1: and there's the diapers or the swim diapers depending on

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Speaker 1: where they are, and that level of potty training and

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Speaker 1: um it's some heavy lifting and you're carrying so much stuff.

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Speaker 1: You got the car seats, so you got the baby.

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Speaker 1: Be come with stuff. Yeah, they come with a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff. So you know, for for a while you

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Speaker 1: just feel like home field advantage is a good thing.

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Speaker 1: Let's just let's just stay at home, go to the

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Speaker 1: community pool, go to a water park, go to the

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Speaker 1: local lake. Something easy where we can now be back

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Speaker 1: home in the friendly confines of our That's why my

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Speaker 1: friends with young kids are like, come over for dinner. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: home field advantage is huge. Lady, you stay on the schedule,

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Speaker 1: be all your crap is there. String it back around,

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Speaker 1: because I did deter you from your point, which was

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Speaker 1: you were saying it those times you were surviving, yes,

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Speaker 1: but now she was triggering. I think I just went

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Speaker 1: to a dark play. I'm going to get you another

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Speaker 1: tequila shot, as if we didn't have enough in Mexico.

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Speaker 1: But now we just had this great week hanging with

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Speaker 1: your kids who are both I mean in college but

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Speaker 1: actually legally adults now. And I will go back to

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Speaker 1: that is, yes they are. Now you will get to

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Speaker 1: a point where it is this amazing time to travel

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Speaker 1: with your kids because they're no longer just your kids.

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Speaker 1: You're no longer worried about telling them to do stuff

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Speaker 1: or don't do stuff, and stop hitting your sister. They

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Speaker 1: actually become these great young adults that you enjoy spending

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Speaker 1: time with and talking to. Now, to answer your first question,

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Speaker 1: I think the groundwork was laid in all those trips

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Speaker 1: how to act, how to be. I think whatever that

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Speaker 1: little chromosome is to go out and experience life and

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Speaker 1: love to travel and love to do things. I think

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Speaker 1: you get that from those early days, and so maybe

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Speaker 1: one begets the other well totally right. I mean, look,

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Speaker 1: I think parenting is the hardest job in the world

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Speaker 1: and no human interestingly, it's the one thing we don't

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Speaker 1: go to school for. It's the one job you don't

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Speaker 1: have to get a certification for, and yet you're responsible

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Speaker 1: for human life. Now. I always say the craziest moment

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Speaker 1: is when you just walk out of the hospital with

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Speaker 1: you know, no user guide, no nothing, and you just

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Speaker 1: you're carrying your child and you strap them into the

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Speaker 1: car seat and you're driving home. You just keep looking

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Speaker 1: in the review mirror thinking how did they let me

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Speaker 1: drive home with a child? I have a human being

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Speaker 1: in my car. I don't know what to do with it,

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Speaker 1: and they did. They just let me leave. There was

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Speaker 1: no doctor that said you should fill out a form

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Speaker 1: first anything. I just here's your baby, Go live life.

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Speaker 1: But I was actually having a conversation with the kids.

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Speaker 1: We were talking about just like parenting. I was talking

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Speaker 1: to some of their friends about it, and I'm like, look, you, guys,

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Speaker 1: I look at my own mom, and Okay, if I

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Speaker 1: was going to go back, did she do everything perfectly? No?

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Speaker 1: But what human can parent perfectly? It is impossible to do.

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Speaker 1: No one prepares you for it. And look all those

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Speaker 1: mistake whatever, the things you do along the way make

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Speaker 1: us all unique. And most importantly, it's about where you

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Speaker 1: end up, right, And I look at what do I

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Speaker 1: wish my mom hadn't let's open up the trauma door,

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Speaker 1: you know, done things like not let me hang out

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Speaker 1: with any friends after prom or not or not ground

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Speaker 1: me for getting anything less than an A. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: if that was my worst problem in life, I got

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Speaker 1: off great, and I think it all worked like I

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Speaker 1: became a successful, competent, accomplished individual. So you go through

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Speaker 1: those years of survival, you do the best you can

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Speaker 1: and what you've ended up with is two amazing kids,

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Speaker 1: and they had amazing friends. And we were literally sitting

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Speaker 1: there like you and I kind of expected that they

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Speaker 1: want to go out one night and you know, kind

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Speaker 1: of go crazy and have some spring break fun, and

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Speaker 1: it said we were just like playing cards and hanging

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Speaker 1: and having a great time. I think the takeaway is

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Speaker 1: I've always said this, there's two things you can do

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Speaker 1: as a parent. You can love your kids and be

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Speaker 1: present in their lives. Those are the two most important things. Now.

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Speaker 1: Between those two navigational beacons, there's this huge spectrum of

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Speaker 1: decisions you're going to make and things you're going to do,

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Speaker 1: and some are good, some are bad, like you're saying,

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Speaker 1: but those two pillars, I think of the most important things.

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Speaker 1: I always tell young new parents love them and be present.

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Speaker 1: And when I say be present, I think that led

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Speaker 1: to them being the people they are now because you

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Speaker 1: know who their friends are, You've spent time with them.

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Speaker 1: And it's not being the overbearing helicopter parent, which I

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Speaker 1: probably have been at times. You ebb and flow through

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Speaker 1: that stuff, but being present in their lives is so

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Speaker 1: vital and so important to know who they're hanging out

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Speaker 1: with what they're into, and so we have this common bond.

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Speaker 1: And they're very different human beings. My daughter is so

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Speaker 1: different than Josh my boy, and I don't treat them

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Speaker 1: the same. I don't talk to them the same. We

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Speaker 1: have different experiences together. I love my time with Tay

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Speaker 1: and I love my time with They're very different, and

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Speaker 1: I love that about them. They're very unique individuals and

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Speaker 1: I think treating them as such is huge. And so

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Speaker 1: when we go on these trips now as adults, the

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Speaker 1: groundwork has been laid. I think if you haven't done

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Speaker 1: the groundwork, if you haven't laid that foundation, when they

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Speaker 1: get to be nineteen twenty one, you're going on a

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Speaker 1: trip with a stranger, and you're the stranger, They're not

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Speaker 1: going to want to be with a stranger. They're going

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Speaker 1: to want to be with someone they can relate to

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Speaker 1: and someone who they consider a friend. And and I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying be your kid's friend. And I was very

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Speaker 1: careful while my kids were growing up to remind them

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Speaker 1: I'm not your friend, I'm your dad, I'm your parents.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I just realized you avoided being their

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Speaker 1: friend when they were a kid, so that you could

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Speaker 1: be their friend when they became an adult. That's the

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Speaker 1: bumper sticker. That's what you truly, that's what you do,

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Speaker 1: you know, because now they just love to hang out

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Speaker 1: with you. Your mom always says this, Donna shout out

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Speaker 1: about doing the work now, Do the work now, or

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Speaker 1: do twice as much work later. When it comes to kids. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you make the hard decisions. You parent. You don't just

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Speaker 1: you know, be their friend and hope they like you.

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Speaker 1: But you make those hard decisions, and you're you're somewhat

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Speaker 1: strict on them now when they're young, so that later

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Speaker 1: there is less work to do because they are better

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Speaker 1: human beings. Wow. Well, I mean we that was a

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Speaker 1: good a lot of good takeaways for the fact that,

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Speaker 1: like what we've avoided addressing is that we're adults who

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Speaker 1: just made up an excuse to go on spring break.

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Speaker 1: And as you mentioned, uh, we did invite some friends

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Speaker 1: and that did include a couple of our best friends,

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Speaker 1: Andrew and Ivana Firestone. Yes, bachelor number was he four?

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Speaker 1: I think it was four. He was four. I think

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Speaker 1: it was our fifth season overall. Yeah, it was Alex Michelle.

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Speaker 1: Then we went to Aaron Burge. Then I think Trista

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Speaker 1: came in as the Bachelorette, and then Bob Ginny, and

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Speaker 1: then I think it was Andrew, so he would have

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Speaker 1: been five. What was so incredible was hearing stories like

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Speaker 1: about how Andrew remembers Josh being so little that he

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Speaker 1: could like pick him up and send him down a counter.

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Speaker 1: And you and Andrew were becoming friends then, and that

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Speaker 1: now to see him hang like all of us still

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Speaker 1: hanging out, it was such a beautiful week. It was

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Speaker 1: just great. Yeah, when I met Andrew, this would have

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Speaker 1: been back in what two thousand and three, somewhere around there,

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Speaker 1: that Josh was one two years old. I remember taking

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Speaker 1: him to lunch when I met Andrew for the first

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Speaker 1: time when we named him the Bachelor, and we're sitting

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Speaker 1: at a restaurant and he and Josh got like throwing

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Speaker 1: French fries at each other. There was a little food fight,

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Speaker 1: and that's how they met each other. And I have

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Speaker 1: watched his kids be born and grow up. He's watched

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Speaker 1: my kids grow and it's an amazing friendship all that

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Speaker 1: came out of that franchise. So I am always I

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Speaker 1: always say I'm grateful for that. And this also to

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Speaker 1: say for all of you parents with young kids entering

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Speaker 1: into the dangerous territory of spring break trips. I feel you.

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Speaker 1: I love you. Survive, get through it. You're building the

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Speaker 1: foundation for a greater tomorrow. It's your presidential parents. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I feel you. It is. Look I'm telling you, there's

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Speaker 1: just some moments when you are putting your lathering up

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Speaker 1: your kids, you're going to the beach, and you're just

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Speaker 1: like everyone's screen overall sunscreen always, no matter what age.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I will say I was still spraying sunscreen

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Speaker 1: on the kids. But man, you're just thinking what am

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Speaker 1: I doing here now? I'm telling them, don't tan, please,

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Speaker 1: don't tell, don't lay out, put the fifty on. Happy

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Speaker 1: spring break to everybody. And we had a pretty drama

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Speaker 1: free spring break, we did, but the drama found us

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Speaker 1: there was I got it. I got this text message.

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Speaker 1: I have a group of buddies I used to be

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Speaker 1: golf buddies with back in Los Angeles, and I got

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Speaker 1: this text message about this kind of hilarious scandal that

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Speaker 1: was going on at this old club near where you

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Speaker 1: and I lived, Sherwood Country Club out in Westlake Village, California.

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Speaker 1: We used to live in Westlake and I was actually

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Speaker 1: member a member of this club for a little bit

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Speaker 1: before I left, and there was a cheating scan handle.

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Speaker 1: Not the craziest thing that there was an affair. This

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Speaker 1: man had an affair with an alleged affair with the

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Speaker 1: tennis pro, one of the tennis pros. I mean it

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Speaker 1: sounds like you're, you know, writing a bee treat book,

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Speaker 1: so it checks a lot of boxes of standard drama.

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Speaker 1: This was This was fodder in my group text message

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Speaker 1: and we were kind of laughing about everybody's making their jokes,

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Speaker 1: and somebody sent me the letter. I have the actual

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Speaker 1: this letter. What happened was the woman who was cheated

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Speaker 1: on by her husband, she took the directory from the

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Speaker 1: club and sent everybody a hard copy letter, a stamp

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Speaker 1: letter in your mailbox. She sent everybody a letter, wait

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Speaker 1: what detailing this affair warning, not even an email, warning

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Speaker 1: the community of this act that had taken place against her.

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Speaker 1: And I have the actual letter with me. It was

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Speaker 1: sent to me. I'm going to read you this. I

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Speaker 1: didn't think much of it, but this story then blew up.

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Speaker 1: It's in the New York Post. It's in page six.

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Speaker 1: I believe it was in the Daily Mail. I was

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Speaker 1: going to say, we have to clarify that the reason

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Speaker 1: you're bringing it up is because it's now become a headline,

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Speaker 1: a dramatic headline, like you got sent this by one

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Speaker 1: of our producers and the person said, do you want

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Speaker 1: to talk about this on the podcast this week? It

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Speaker 1: was like a page sixth article, like you said, It

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Speaker 1: was in daily mail and you're like, wait, someone texted

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Speaker 1: me that days ago, and I have the actual letter this.

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Speaker 1: So you thought it was just country club drama, but

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Speaker 1: it is main national news and here is the letter

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Speaker 1: that this woman sent her entire country club. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: this just think about this. You're going to your mailbox.

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Speaker 1: It's a Tuesday. You open up a letter from this

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Speaker 1: woman you don't know, and it says, dear Sherwood Members.

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Speaker 1: Like many of you, I, my children, and my husband

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Speaker 1: have been longtime members. I feel it's necessary for my

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Speaker 1: own sake and maybe even yours, to tell all of

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Speaker 1: you what happened to me where I live, a place

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Speaker 1: I bragged to my friends by calling it my community,

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Speaker 1: filled with good people, a safe environment. To my horror,

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Speaker 1: I recently found out my husband had been romantically involved

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Speaker 1: with one of our tennis club employees. She actually named

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Speaker 1: her here where I live. I feel betrayed. She's also

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Speaker 1: been to our home. I'm letting our community of respectable

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Speaker 1: families and members of this home wrecker. She's missing a

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Speaker 1: few words, Yes, who's working among us? I have to

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Speaker 1: see her and see her smug smile at the pub.

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Speaker 1: The pub is a kind of a little I know,

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Speaker 1: you know what a pub is. But there's a place

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Speaker 1: called the Pub at Sherwood, and so I'm trying hard

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Speaker 1: to avoid her, keep her away from my children, but

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Speaker 1: she's there. She has no respect for this community. I

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Speaker 1: never expected this to happen. We engage and are friendly

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Speaker 1: to the employees that work here, and this is what

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Speaker 1: happened to our family, my husband and I. This is

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Speaker 1: the best part. My husband and I are working this

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Speaker 1: out privately, are you? But I couldn't remain silent. I

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Speaker 1: don't trust her. She's here as an employee, and she's

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Speaker 1: become a home wrecker, one that I have to run

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Speaker 1: into time to time. I can no longer keep this

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Speaker 1: to myself. We chose this community for many good and

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Speaker 1: healthy reasons, but it's been a nightmare. I have to

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Speaker 1: see her in an exclusive club. I belong to. I

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Speaker 1: had to break my silence. I'm so sad this happened

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Speaker 1: in my own paradise. Wow, that is the full letter

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Speaker 1: that the entire membership of Sherwood Country Club received. Now

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Speaker 1: I have to I have to ask a quick question.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at it. You have it, she didn't sign it.

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Speaker 1: Do people know who this is? Is there any way?

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Speaker 1: This is a prank? Not a prank? How do you

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Speaker 1: know this has been confirmed by the people at the

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Speaker 1: club that I your friends. I actually have a picture.

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Speaker 1: I won't post this, but I have a picture of

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Speaker 1: the couple and the woman. There is the only discrepancy

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Speaker 1: I have, and the wife may be mistaken here. I

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Speaker 1: don't think she's actually a tennis pro. Well, she says

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Speaker 1: tennis club employee. Yes she I from what I understand

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Speaker 1: from my people on the ground, I think she just

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Speaker 1: works at the pub. Oh, I think she's just one

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Speaker 1: of the cocktail waitresses. Woman actually kind of gave her

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Speaker 1: a nice promotion. Yes, and so. But the fact that

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Speaker 1: this is blown up in this community, and I want

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Speaker 1: to know the only reason that you felt okay reading

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Speaker 1: this is because this had already been published in part,

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Speaker 1: like in page six in the Daily Mail. Now it's

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Speaker 1: in the New York Post, in the Daily Mail. This

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Speaker 1: has gone national? Okay, and so and the fact that

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Speaker 1: she mailed a hard copy to four or five hundred people.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I wish i'd imagine working at the

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Speaker 1: FedEx where she bought this printed out. But here's here's

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Speaker 1: here's my question to you. Yes, reading that letter, it

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Speaker 1: really seems like the husband had no part in this

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Speaker 1: the affair. Oh. I mean, she's not blaming him at all,

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Speaker 1: Like she's like, you know, this happened to my family,

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Speaker 1: This happened to my husband. This is a nightmare. How

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Speaker 1: did this woman do that? I have to see this woman.

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Speaker 1: And again, granted, yes the woman. It takes two to tango,

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Speaker 1: but I think you may want to just look a

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Speaker 1: little bit at home, and your husband is a much

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Speaker 1: bigger issue to deal with here. Well, you know, as

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Speaker 1: she says, quote, my husband and I are working this

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Speaker 1: out private. Yes, maybe she's not going to name him,

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Speaker 1: she names the woman. I look, I guess this is

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Speaker 1: so wild to me that I've forgot for my brain

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Speaker 1: to even go there. But a yes, you're right, as

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Speaker 1: it's always that to share the blame, you know, it's funny.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's cheating on trend nationally. Maybe that why

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Speaker 1: did this story make the news? Because the Vanderpump scandal

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Speaker 1: happened and media are thinking like, oh, literally, cheating is

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Speaker 1: trending right now, it's a hot topic. Let's so let's

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Speaker 1: just make this random country club story at national news story.

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Speaker 1: And it really is because the fact that it got

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Speaker 1: into the New York Post and the Daily Mail is

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Speaker 1: fascinating to me that this story from Westlake Village, California,

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Speaker 1: and it just it hit home for me because it

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Speaker 1: was close to our home. I know a lot of

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Speaker 1: the members there. We were there for quite some time,

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Speaker 1: and it's just fascinating that this blew up so big.

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Speaker 1: And you're right, that's the question I asked you the

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Speaker 1: other day. Why are these scandals getting so much pressed?

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Speaker 1: I think this one because of vander Pump rules. I

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Speaker 1: think it's like piggybacking off of I mean that's media

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Speaker 1: kind of works like that. If one topic is big,

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Speaker 1: you keep writing. If you see it's clicking while you

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00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 1: keep adding on to it, adding onto it, fueling the fire. Literally,

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Speaker 1: but I do it does again bring up that because

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Speaker 1: you just mentioned the not mentioning the husband deal. I

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Speaker 1: keep thinking about the who's to blame and how much

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Speaker 1: to blame. I think it's so case by case, but

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Speaker 1: I've come up with this. I think in cheating, both

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Speaker 1: parties are to blame, but both parties might not share

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Speaker 1: equal blame. What do you think equal? I think both

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00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 1: parties are to blame. Both parties aren't equally responsible in

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Speaker 1: that the husband is much more responsible to his wife

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Speaker 1: and family than the waitress who doesn't know them, so

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Speaker 1: he's much more respond both both to blame. Yes, he's

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Speaker 1: more responsible. Because I was actually talking I was talking

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Speaker 1: to a friend about this, you know, as the vander

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Speaker 1: pump roll scandal continues, and we were talking about like,

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Speaker 1: when are you also obligated say that you're Because I

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Speaker 1: knew a friend who she went on a few days

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Speaker 1: with this guy, finds out he is actually still married,

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Speaker 1: Like he was a bit older, he didn't have social

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Speaker 1: media and so she couldn't really look this up, but

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Speaker 1: he had told her, look, I'm separated from my wife.

400
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Speaker 1: No finds out like it's still married, not separated, still

401
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Speaker 1: actively together. And the question is like, does that woman

402
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Speaker 1: go tell this guy's wife, does she have an obligation.

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Speaker 1: If you're saying people are responsible, I actually think in

404
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Speaker 1: that case, I would be like, you just went on

405
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Speaker 1: a couple dates with him, Just stay out of it.

406
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Speaker 1: I was about to say, just cut ties. Worry about

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Speaker 1: your own mental health. And I know this. It's sad

408
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Speaker 1: that you know, brocode taking care of the guy or

409
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Speaker 1: women looking after women. Yeah, if you fight me on that,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to argue, but I agree with you

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Speaker 1: at that point, just cut bait. And I also think,

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Speaker 1: like I don't think the woman's necessarily gonna believe you.

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Speaker 1: I would think the guy would find a way to

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Speaker 1: talk himself out of it, like call this girl crazy,

415
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 1: you know something like I don't know. I think it's

416
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 1: going to do this the third party person more harm

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Speaker 1: than it is going to do the whole situation good.

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Speaker 1: But like for example here, like when you're also talking

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Speaker 1: about taking things public or informing people. If I go

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Speaker 1: back to this letter, what sort of blows my mind

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00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 1: for this woman is just that I don't think i'd

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Speaker 1: bring this. Why would she want to tell her whole

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Speaker 1: community about this? Why would she want to tell her

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00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 1: old community? That's what strikes me is she this letter

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00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 1: reads like a warning like this is a public service

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00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 1: announcement warning the community essentially that there is a predator,

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00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 1: or it would be like she feels like she has

428
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,880
Speaker 1: to inform, but ultimately I think it's only hurt her.

429
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 1: It's like me saying there's a mountain lion. Lock up

430
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: your pets because there's a mountain lion loose. I'm doing

431
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: everybody a service. This could affect all of us. Hid

432
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 1: your kids, Hide your wife. I mean, she's treating this like, beware,

433
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: this woman is out there hunting and you could be next.

434
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: And that's what struck me as so odd about the

435
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: letter is that it just absolved It didn't absolve the husband,

436
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: but it really didn't do anything to say I think

437
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 1: unfortunately for her, this letter just makes her look unhinged,

438
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: like I actually think in this case, she's been wronged

439
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: by you know, according to her story her hard copy letter,

440
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 1: her husband has cheated on her. But I think she

441
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: now looks unhinged, like because who brints out five hundred

442
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 1: letters and mails them individually to people, and who exposes

443
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: what their family's going through like this, and who, like,

444
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 1: I mean, you know what I'm saying, right, I just

445
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: went back to earlier earlier comment just seeing her at

446
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 1: the local Kinkos and Westley. You're at the Kinkos, you

447
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 1: and you printed this out for her. You couldn't not

448
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 1: read it. Each copy that comes out. She just looks

449
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: at it angrily. It did unemployee at the Kinkos have

450
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 1: an obligation to say it, ma'am, are you sure you

451
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 1: want to do this? And think about the folding, the stuffing,

452
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: and the licking of all those envelopes and the stamping.

453
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: Her fingers are covering a papercut each one was just

454
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 1: like a son. She has done herself harm. Here it's

455
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 1: you're I think you almost hit it on the on

456
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: the head. She was wronged, but now she's actually wrong.

457
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 1: I just okay, Like I've been cheated on before in

458
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 1: a relationship, I did not tell anyone in my life

459
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 1: until I knew the relationship was over. I knew we

460
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: weren't gonna like come back from it, and we were done.

461
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: And then I was just like, okay, here's what's going on.

462
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 1: Because what I thought to myself was and that was

463
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: my choice. I'm not saying it's for everybody, but what

464
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: I thought to myself was, this person has already messed

465
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: up so much of my life. I'm not going to

466
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: let them mess up all these other parts of my

467
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 1: world that I've built with this fire they've started over here, Like,

468
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to maintain these other areas of my life

469
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: and be sane in them, and they're going to be

470
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: safe spaces for me. And I'm not going to let

471
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 1: this chaos hurt everything else I've worked on. Like she's

472
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: she's in the end, She says, I'm so sad this

473
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: happened in my own paradise. I think you maybe could

474
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: have maintained some of the paradise if you would have

475
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 1: not right fired off the five hundred copies. Well, the

476
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: good news is they're working on it privately and we

477
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 1: are gonna and look, I know the New York Posts

478
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: love this. They because their headline was very misleading. Hollywood

479
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: Country club wife names Tennis promistress in letter to members.

480
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: It's not a hundred, it's not a Hollywood country club.

481
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: It's about it's about thirty miles. I will say. Caitlin

482
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: Jenner and Kenny g are both members. So there you go.

483
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: There you go. All right, we're gonna take a quick

484
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 1: break when we come back, and I are going to

485
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 1: take your questions. We asked you a couple of weeks

486
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 1: ago to fire away some questions, any comments, questions you

487
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,159
Speaker 1: had for us. We are going to dive in. Especially

488
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 1: we got a lot of marriage questions, questions about our wedding.

489
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: We're going to answer them when we come back. Welcome

490
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: back to the Most Dramatic Podcast Ever. Chris Harrison Lauren

491
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,640
Speaker 1: Ziema on a very special edition of the Most Dramatic

492
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 1: Podcast Ever. Because we're going to answer your questions. We

493
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 1: have had some amazing guests on over the last few weeks.

494
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 1: But one of the things I really wanted to do

495
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 1: with this platform and so did Elz, is talk to

496
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: you and make you a part of this platform it

497
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: and this forum. And so we're going to dive in

498
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: and a lot of the questions. Very interesting that a

499
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: lot of the questions that we got had to do

500
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 1: with our wedding. Yes, well, we have said we were

501
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 1: going to share some stuff. Our producers sent us the

502
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: questions from you all, and there's a whole page with

503
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 1: the title at the top wedding Questions. So we're going

504
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 1: to dive right in, starting off, and thank you all

505
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: for your questions and for caring. Starting off with Emily,

506
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: Emily says, since you both have had a wedding before,

507
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: will you have a traditional wedding? I think the answer

508
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 1: is a resounding no, and yes, well I mean, by

509
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 1: the way Emily, I actually think she put this perfectly.

510
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: Since you both have had a wedding before, will you

511
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 1: have a traditional wedding? Not something we've talked about so much,

512
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: which is we did both have like kind of hundred,

513
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty people weddings before on our first marriages.

514
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 1: You remember how many were at my first? It was big,

515
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 1: but I don't remember how many. Yeah, well, yeah, you

516
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: probably in planet. That's why I don't remember. I was twelve,

517
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 1: that's why. So yeah, I think we've had that discussion

518
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 1: from that frame of mind a lot of like like

519
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 1: I don't think we're going to have a bridal party,

520
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 1: you know, in a groom's party, but I don't think

521
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 1: we're gonna have bridesmaids and groomsmen, because it just feels

522
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: like we did that and we maybe don't need the

523
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: pomp and circumstance of all that. We do want this

524
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: to have kind of a more casual, intimate feel as

525
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: a wedding there will be traditional parts to it that

526
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: I think are important to you and I. But I agree. Yeah,

527
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: we had discussed this, and Lord and I have talked

528
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: about this a lot. Well, actually we yeah, And you

529
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: even said kind of the big decision we made was

530
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: about how traditional it would be. Is you had said, oh,

531
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 1: we could just kind of like have dinner and then

532
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: maybe sort of stand up and get married in front

533
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: of everybody. And I said, well, actually, the one thing

534
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: that is really important to me that we do traditionally

535
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: is I do want to have a walk down the aisle,

536
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,880
Speaker 1: like I do want to have that moment of walking

537
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: towards you and that sort of I think there's so

538
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 1: much magic captured. Everybody who's been to a wedding sees

539
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: like they want to look at the groom's face in

540
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: the bride's face, and there is so much magic in

541
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 1: that moment of walking towards each other coming together. So

542
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: I agree. Yeah, and I was wrong. Oh yeah. As

543
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 1: soon as you said that in one of our discussions,

544
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: I quickly pivoted and realized you were one hundred percent right. Yeah,

545
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: I want that moment too. I want to see you

546
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: when you you know, I want to separate for some

547
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: time and then you walk into that moment and we

548
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 1: share that. So I agree that that traditional part of it.

549
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: And then we will have a somewhat traditional ceremony, yes,

550
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: and get married. Someone will marry us, someone will marry us,

551
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: and we will get me, so that there will be

552
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: some traditional aspects to it, but overall it'll be a

553
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: dressed down version because, as she said, we've kind of

554
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 1: both been through this before. Yeah, we've had a couple

555
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: birthdays before. Our biggest priority is to not get caught

556
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: up in the semantics and to make sure which I

557
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: mean all the blessings every bribing room gets caught up

558
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: in it. You have to because you want to do

559
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 1: all these great traditions, but then at the same time

560
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: they can be so stressful. We want to do our

561
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: best to just try to have a really fun party

562
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: for us, yes, yeah, no, I mean yeah, and for

563
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: the people we love and celebrate for sure. All Right,

564
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: Donna says, do you have as your mom? Donna, Oh

565
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: my gosh, how funny would it be? It would be amazing.

566
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: She's like, Lauren won't answer my text, so I'm going

567
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: to write in a pot. No, she doesn't even know

568
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: how to do that. She doesn't. I love Godliver, but

569
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: she doesn't know how to send. In a question on Instagram,

570
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: DMS Donna says, do you have a wedding venue in mind?

571
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: Will it be a destination wedding? Part A yes, part

572
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: B yes, We're not going to disclose. We have found

573
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: our location. I think we finally did. It was something

574
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: you and I had talked about in everything was on

575
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 1: the table for quite some time. When you did take

576
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: me to Europe for my birthday. One thing we were

577
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: we came back from then, people were like, did you

578
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: get married in Europe? We thought you were just going

579
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: to get married, and that actually was an option for us.

580
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: I think we both went into that trip being like,

581
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: either we might find an amazing venue in Italy or France.

582
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: Like we actually took some time to look at some

583
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: potential wedding venues and consider hotels we were staying at,

584
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: and we both thought, Okay, if the moment strikes us

585
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 1: and it feels right, maybe we would just do it.

586
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: But it has to feel right, and we didn't. We

587
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: didn't have that moment, so like we realized we wanted

588
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: to plant in a different way. There was one moment

589
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: where we could have actually done it. Oh and in

590
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 1: the on the boat, yeah, because we had a captain, yes,

591
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: and a captain can legally marry you. I assume even

592
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: in Paris that that could have been the moment on

593
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: the boat on the River Stine in Paris under the

594
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: Eiffel Tower, it was pretty spectator. It was a little chilly,

595
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: little cold, a little it wasn't quite the moment. So

596
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: but anyway, we decided not to do it. And we decided,

597
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: you know, as we looked around Europe. It was a

598
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: bit of a experimental trip as well to kind of

599
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: shop and look around. So, yeah, we we have found

600
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 1: I think we've agreed upon the destination. We won't disclose

601
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 1: that just yet, but it will be. We always knew

602
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: we would go somewhere. Yeah, we we didn't think, oh,

603
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: we'll just do it, you know, at a church or

604
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: a place here in Austin, isn't it is a destination

605
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 1: wedding for us, and we do have a venue locked in.

606
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: Bum bum bum. I should haven't done done none. You

607
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: just drop some knowledge there, all right, Okay, Okay, I

608
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: wasn't sure you're gonna yes? Yes? Okay, then yes, and yes,

609
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: we have picked a location, we have it locked in.

610
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: We didn't we didn't agree on how much we were

611
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: going to answer this question. I'm just looking at the Okay,

612
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: what's I'm sweating? Now? What's the next question? Hillariason? Why

613
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: do we feel nervous about revealing it? I'm trying to

614
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: figure that out. I think it is no matter what,

615
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: wedding planning is stressful. That's what it is. And let's

616
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 1: just say it for every I'll be honest, here's my feeling.

617
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 1: I don't know what you think. I want to own

618
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: it for a little bit. I know, I mean, I

619
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: know we'll share it with the world, and that's fine.

620
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 1: By the way. I'm excited to share you and my

621
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: love with the world, but I want to own the

622
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: plans and everything going on for just a little bit longer.

623
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: Oh that's very sweet, because it's been fun. Yeah, I'm

624
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: going to skip to another question. I will say my

625
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 1: reasons a little different. It's that standard bride groom stress

626
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: thing that we're trying so hard to avoid. You get

627
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: so scared. You don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, you know.

628
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: I don't want someone to be upset if the wedding's

629
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: not close enough to them or it's impossible, though, you

630
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: just got to lean in. If anybody's figured out how

631
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: to not upset anyone not have any dramatic moments involved

632
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: in their wedding. If anyone has got that solution and

633
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 1: that magic sauce, please dm me that well. And Laura

634
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: and I are trying our best again to enjoy this together.

635
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 1: It is our second time, so you know, the fact

636
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: that we're a little older and wiser and we know

637
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: what we want out of this is huge. Oh you

638
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,479
Speaker 1: know what, that's a good What is one thing that

639
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: you learned from your first wedding that you would definitely

640
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: not do at our wedding? The chicken dance? That's how

641
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: long ago? A congo line, I will say, I'll aid myself.

642
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: We will not be doing the shof the slide? Okay,

643
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: what is that dance? Oh my god, No, I'm blanking

644
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 1: on it. We're not doing that. Yeah. So I'm not

645
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: doing shout either. Any organized dances. No organized dances. That

646
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: is a big no. But I will go further because

647
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,479
Speaker 1: I know there's a question down there. We don't have

648
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: a wedding planner. We're not working. Oh yes, we're not

649
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: working with Megan said, are you all planning your wedding

650
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: yourselves or hiring a wedding planner? And so call us crazy.

651
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: We are not hiring a wedding planner. Yeah. The more

652
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: and more we do, the more and more I realize

653
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: that we're insane. I have worked with the most amazing

654
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: wedding planners ever, because obviously we did a bunch of

655
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: these on the show. Mindy Weiss is a good friend.

656
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll call on her for a little consult here,

657
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: But Lord and I have really just figured this out ourselves,

658
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: and we have amazing friends that we are reaching out

659
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: too quietly, and we're doing some things and right now

660
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: so far, maybe it will get bigger than us and

661
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: we have to hand it over, but right now, we've

662
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 1: enjoyed doing this ourselves and it's something that has grown organically.

663
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: And I know there's a lot of pressure when you're

664
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: engaged and people are saying marry her already, and I

665
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: get these dms all the time, and I respect that

666
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,360
Speaker 1: because I know you guys just love seeing us, and

667
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 1: I love us too, and I want to get married.

668
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: But we really let this thing grow organically. I think

669
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: not hiring a wedding planner has helped it be organic. Now.

670
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: I also see the side of people being like, you

671
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: need a wedding planner so it's not stressful if you're

672
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,760
Speaker 1: trying to avoid the stress, but not having a wedding

673
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 1: planner instantly. With a wedding planner comes all the questions

674
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: of what do your safe, that it's look like, and

675
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: all these things, and I just don't want it to

676
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: be that. I want it to feel very casual. I

677
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 1: want it to feel like every minute of it is us,

678
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,879
Speaker 1: and I want everybody to walk away feeling like they

679
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 1: just went to a really fun party. I mean, I

680
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: truly would like if for some reason we had to

681
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: I just get married in our living room tomorrow and

682
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: invite people over and have some great wine. I'd be

683
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 1: fine with that. We can do that well. I mean,

684
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: it's also fun to have a little magical destination. I do.

685
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: I want it to have. The reason I don't want

686
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,760
Speaker 1: to do that is again going back to the walking

687
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: down the aisle. I wanted to have a feeling of

688
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,760
Speaker 1: a little specialness and a little magic for us because

689
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: I love you so much. That's true, I know, I

690
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 1: wanted to feel a little special. I wanted to be intimate,

691
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: but not too casual. It deserves to. Okay, so you

692
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: had skipped down to Megan's question. Oh, I thought of

693
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: one more thing. We're definitely not doing what some of

694
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,720
Speaker 1: my friends might feel called out on for this, because

695
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 1: I've done this for them as a bridesmaid. We are

696
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 1: not getting on a bus and going to take pictures.

697
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, we are not doing that. I know. Well,

698
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 1: I was your weddings where we got on the bus

699
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 1: and did that. It's a it's a I've done it

700
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,879
Speaker 1: many times. It's a very I don't know if it's

701
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 1: the whole country, but it is a very Midwestern thing

702
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,439
Speaker 1: to do. You get on what you call a party bus,

703
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: which is kind of like a really nice sprinter van.

704
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: There's a cooler of drinks, and you drive around for

705
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: hours in your dress, the guys in their suits. You

706
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: get off the bus, you take pictures somewhere. You get

707
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,240
Speaker 1: on the bus, you take pictures. If it's a summer wedding,

708
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: you're sweating. If it's a winter wedding, you're freezing. You

709
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 1: are so exhausted by the time you get to the

710
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 1: ceremony and yet or the party, the reception, and yet

711
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,760
Speaker 1: you're still thinking, well, I gotta have fun for the pride.

712
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: I gotta fun. It's so horrifying. Yeah, that last wedding

713
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: I went to where we drove around. Yeah, there was

714
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: an amazing wedding. But then thirty minutes after the wedding,

715
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in a party van eating at Jimmy John's

716
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: so driving to a destiny picture. That's what we're not doing.

717
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: I like, I love a wedding where things are kept

718
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: as much in one location as possible, Like if you

719
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 1: can get married and have a party in one place,

720
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: if the ceremony can be if it's got to be

721
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: a church, if it's very close to the reception, keep

722
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 1: it simple, all right, okay, um, Joan says, And I again,

723
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 1: I don't know answer to this. Jones says. I know

724
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: your faith is important to you. Oh well, not are

725
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: you planning on having a religious ceremony for your wedding.

726
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 1: I think, Joan, that a wedding is a religious ceremony.

727
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:40,959
Speaker 1: To me, it is. Any kind of wedding is a

728
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 1: spiritual religious ceremony. Oh, I'm just learning this about you.

729
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: I didn't you don't think that. Oh, gosh, that's a

730
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 1: really interesting What is a wedding if it's not a

731
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: spiritual religious bond. I'm not saying it's Christian or Jewish

732
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 1: or whatever whatever faith you are or if you it's

733
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: a okay, wait, you were raised Jewish? Are we are

734
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 1: we breaking the glass? Are we doing those things? Well?

735
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: You know, you know about my religious mutt. I grew up,

736
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: you know, partially Christian, partially Jewish, and I know people

737
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: are like, well, your mom's Jewish, so you're Jewish? Yes,

738
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: but she cheaches Sunday school now, so it's a long story.

739
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:30,959
Speaker 1: Mom converted. Yes. And so to me, a wedding, any

740
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 1: wedding I go to, is a religious ceremony. It's to me,

741
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: we are making a bond before God, before our friends

742
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: and family. Um, it's something. It's a BONDI take very serious.

743
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 1: And so I hope that anybody that steps into that

744
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,320
Speaker 1: bond and that decision is doing so on a spiritual

745
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: level your heart, mind and body. Wow, I think it's

746
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: just setting in for me. How I would. I'm gonna

747
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: sound so silly right now, but I always but sometimes

748
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,240
Speaker 1: it's easy to say, oh, I feel like we're already married,

749
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: but you just totally turn that on its head for me,

750
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: because the word spiritual is a very powerful word to me.

751
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: I really believe that whatever you know, I think there's

752
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 1: a higher power, whatever anybody wants to call it. I

753
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,879
Speaker 1: think that we're all connected and that Um. I think

754
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,799
Speaker 1: that believing in a higher power really helps give you

755
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: purpose in life. But I guess with our wedding, I've

756
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 1: been so focused on thinking about like how will we

757
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: feel love between each other and our friends and family,

758
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: and how will we make everyone feel loved, I hadn't

759
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 1: thought about the spiritual element of it. And I know,

760
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: and look this question. I love this now Now I

761
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 1: feel like it's it's so purposeful. But there are questions

762
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,800
Speaker 1: that I mean, I'm sorry, there's questions. There are weddings

763
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,839
Speaker 1: that you know, you go to a Catholic wedding, there's mass. Um, No,

764
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:55,439
Speaker 1: we're not going to have a deeply religious ceremony where

765
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: we go off and do you know a full mass

766
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: or a full um take communion, etc. Those are wonderful.

767
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: I've been to many of them. Um. Same thing for

768
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: a Jewish wedding, because I've been to many of those

769
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: as well, um, And so there will be aspects to it.

770
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 1: Whatever that is to you, to me, it's religion to you,

771
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: it could be spirituality, it could be whatever. But that

772
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: is a bond you're making that is bigger than you. Okay.

773
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: Of the people that you have married, which there have been,

774
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: do you have any idea how many weddings you've officiated

775
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 1: rough number twelve to fifteen to fifteen. What is your

776
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 1: favorite wedding you've ever officiated. I'm not looking. It doesn't

777
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 1: have to be a bachelor couple. Wow. M that's a

778
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: tough one. That's a really tough one. I've done some

779
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: amazing weddings. My cousin comes to mind. Your cousin and

780
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: his partner. Yeah, my cousin and his partner in California.

781
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: I married them. That was That was beautiful, just to

782
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: be to be asked. I've was asked by my godson

783
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: to do his wedding coming up, and I can't wait

784
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 1: to do. It's when you stand before family. The one

785
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: that really probably hit home for me the most was

786
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: your sister. Yeah, why Christina and Andrew Because it was

787
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 1: you and it was them, and I was I feel

788
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: like I'm a part of your family, even though we're

789
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 1: not married. And getting to know your family more and more.

790
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,720
Speaker 1: But to stand in front of your sister, you, your mom,

791
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 1: your brother, and all your friends and family that I

792
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: got to know, and a lot of them I got

793
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: to know at that wedding, it just meant a lot

794
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: to me. And it felt like that was one more

795
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 1: big step for me to join your family. And it

796
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 1: was just emotional. It was a very emotional day on

797
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 1: a lot of levels. And I felt the pressure and

798
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: anxiety and nerves to perform. As your mom was sitting

799
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: there staring, I was like, please, don't screw this up.

800
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: That makes sense. You'd probably feel more nervous in front

801
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: of my family than like your own family when you're

802
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: doing your cousin's wedding, because you're you're comfortable. No, lie more,

803
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 1: I've done live television weddings and I felt more nervous

804
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,720
Speaker 1: at your sisters just because I wanted it to be great. Well,

805
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: that makes me feel loved. Okay. Next question from one

806
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: of you, M Leanne says, do you speaking out, do

807
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: you know who you want to officiate the wedding and

808
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 1: did you actually consider Andrew Firestone? But we were just

809
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: on spring break with not after the way I saw

810
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 1: him behave on spring break tequila shots with us, Leanne.

811
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: We are considering some options and and yes, we're definitely

812
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 1: I mean when we said that, that's very real. We

813
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: thought about Andrew. He's a wonderful person. So I don't

814
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: we don't have a definitive answer yet. We don't we

815
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: have while we do have a location, we do not

816
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 1: have an efficient officially yet. All right. Last one's a

817
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: fun one from Kyle. If you had to pick someone

818
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: from Bachelor Nation, Chris that you are friends with to

819
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: plan a bachelor party for you, who would you pick?

820
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: Pretty pretty easy? Wells, oh, I mean you know A

821
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 1: so she's shown himself to be a pretty good bartender,

822
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: so smart, saving money, he's a good time he's beloved,

823
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 1: so you know he could gather the troops, loves to

824
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: play golf, loves a cocktail. Wells, easy answer, Yeah, you

825
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 1: pick him for a lot of things. All Right, we're

826
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break. That is the wedding Q

827
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: and A. When we come back, there's some other questions

828
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 1: we're going to dive into. We'll do that right after this.

829
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the most dramatic podcast ever. Chris Harrison,

830
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: Lauren Zema. Answering your relationship questions today, Yes, we asked

831
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 1: you guys to send them in and thank you. Is

832
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:03,839
Speaker 1: Answering your relationship questions is actually must much easier than

833
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,240
Speaker 1: answering questions we about ourselves. So thank you and please

834
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: continue to send them in any time to at the

835
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: most dramatic pod ever. That's our Instagram handle, right, it

836
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: is okay, thank you. So. One listener asked, if a

837
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 1: guy says he's not ready to date, is it ever

838
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: okay to circle back later on and see if anything

839
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: has changed. Oh? My quick answer is no, if he's

840
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 1: saying he's not ready to date. If anybody is saying

841
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: they're not ready to date you, I think if they

842
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 1: want to date you, they're going to have to come

843
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 1: find you then, like you circle back and see if

844
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 1: anything's changed. No, they should be chasing you, especially if

845
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: they've already rejected you. If he wants to, he will.

846
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: If he wanted to, he would. Yeah. Yeah, I mean,

847
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: if he wants to know what you're doing or if

848
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,919
Speaker 1: you're still single, he will reach out to you. If

849
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 1: he gave you the hint flat out and said he's

850
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: not ready to date, take that as a sign I mean,

851
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: that is as clear as it can be. Yeah. I

852
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: always say, you can't bring someone to ground zero, like

853
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: I think in relationships we make each other better. But

854
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: you can't. You can't bring somebody up to like even

855
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: the willingness to be into in a relationship. They've already

856
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,879
Speaker 1: got to be there. Look, I'm not here to rag

857
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 1: on guys, but most bozos just beat around the bush

858
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 1: and you never know how they stand. If someone's actually

859
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: willing to tell you how they stand on this, Noah,

860
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: take them at their word. Believe him. Jamie s, how

861
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: do you break the pattern of getting ghosted? I'm going

862
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 1: to leave this to you because when I started dating

863
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: that didn't exist. Oh well, you know what, I've never

864
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: done the dating apps. I haven't. I haven't either, but

865
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: I will say when I talk to my friends about it.

866
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 1: So if the getting ghosted is in reference to that,

867
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing is it is such a

868
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,959
Speaker 1: struggle how available other options are. Now. We were talking

869
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: to somebody the other day, you and I actually did

870
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 1: this app developer, and he was saying that he thinks

871
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 1: some major issue with dating apps and how they were

872
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:06,760
Speaker 1: invented is that they are lacking in ethical conscious design,

873
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: and the way he put that in Layman's terms was

874
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 1: you've made a human being a swipe. Like you've reduced

875
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: a human being to a point five second swipe of

876
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: your finger. And that's even less than Look, I know,

877
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: we judge people at face value in a bar, just

878
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: like we do from a photo on an app, But

879
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: that's a human being in front of you, and you're

880
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: going to make a decision on whether to talk to

881
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: them or not. You're going to have to have a conversation.

882
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: A swipe and texting is so minuscule and so easy

883
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: to move past, and so easy to reject someone through

884
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: a screen. So the advice I always given my friends

885
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 1: is I think the biggest way to not get quote

886
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: unquote ghosted is like you've got to graduate from the

887
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: apps and from dming into a real phone call into

888
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 1: an in person meeting being yes, sooner rather than later,

889
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,799
Speaker 1: You've got to get there. And if that person's not

890
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: willing to call you on the phone or meet you

891
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 1: for coffee, well then just move on. You have to

892
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: become more than an Instagram reel or a TikTok video

893
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: that they can just scroll through. Y become a human.

894
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: This is really interesting. I love this question. It's a

895
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 1: little deeper, it's a little longer, but stick with me here.

896
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 1: I'm having doubts about my relationship. My boyfriend and I

897
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: have been together for two to five years and live together.

898
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,799
Speaker 1: Our lives are so integrated family, friends, home, daily routines, etc.

899
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: And the thought of starting over is scary. Being in

900
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: my late twenties, I have a gut feeling that keeps resurfacing,

901
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 1: and I'm terrified of making the wrong choice. I'm not

902
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:34,320
Speaker 1: sure I'm in love anymore. Advice. Look, first of all,

903
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: I know you feel like you are getting older. You

904
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: may already feel old being in your late twenties. I

905
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 1: don't want to be the old guy yelling get off

906
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: my lawn and that I know so much more than you.

907
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: But trust me when I tell you that I have

908
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 1: the experience to say this. You are so young, you

909
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: have so much life to live, and even if you

910
00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: were fifty instead of twenty nine, the advice would actually

911
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: be the same, and that is live your life and

912
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: get busy living your life now. You will only regret

913
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 1: three years later, five years later, that you didn't do

914
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 1: it in your late twenties. Yeah, look, my quick answer here,

915
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,760
Speaker 1: honestly is I think you have I think this person

916
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 1: has their answer. If you have a gut feeling, if

917
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 1: you don't think you're in love anymore, I would say

918
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 1: get out. Before you get more integrated into each other's lives.

919
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: Life is going to throw tough stuff at you automatically,

920
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,919
Speaker 1: especially the older we get. So if you're already having

921
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 1: these major questions, now is the time to go, because

922
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 1: your relationships should be in a really still in a

923
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: really good place, only two to five years in hopefully.

924
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: And so I think my advice is get out. And

925
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:49,800
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I hate the idea of starting

926
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: over as a concept of period. Again, Life's going to

927
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 1: throw things at us that are going to make us

928
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: quote unquote start over over and over again. We need

929
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 1: a rebranding that phrase. Like my dad died when I

930
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 1: was in college. I didn't expect that, but I learned

931
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: a lot from it. As dark as that time was

932
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 1: for me, I look back on some of the silver

933
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 1: linings of how it changed my perspective as a young person.

934
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: How much you know it made me and my family closer.

935
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 1: So I don't think that you know and you got divorced,

936
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: what in your forties. I did, yeah at forty. I

937
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 1: don't know when or where change got such a negative

938
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: connotation attach it. Change is scary. It's scary, but change

939
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 1: can be great. All great things are also change. Everything

940
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: that's happened in your life that's awesome was a change

941
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 1: for the better. I just think there is this I

942
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: don't know this heaviness now and obviously, with what we've

943
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: gone through over the last decade, change can be scary,

944
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: I get it. But embrace the change and force yourself

945
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: to change and reinvent yourself. And the fact that you

946
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: feel this heapiness of having to unwind and your life

947
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:06,919
Speaker 1: because you're living together and you are friends with her

948
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 1: parents or whatever. Don't be so scared to change. I

949
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 1: would be more scared to sit in the same place

950
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:18,879
Speaker 1: and be miserable. So true. So there you go. This

951
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: is a question for you from Paige. Any stepparent tips

952
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: from el z Oh and you have been amazing in

953
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 1: this department with the kids. The words stepparent always throws

954
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: me off. From them, I sort of Disney. I need her, Yes,

955
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: I need a rebranding of stepmom. The stepmom is always

956
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 1: the villain as she's evil and some Disney movies, she's

957
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 1: trying to kill the kid like the princess. It's not

958
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 1: a like the word stepmom has this automatic connotation, right um,

959
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: And so I guess just like I don't love the

960
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: word stepmom, I think for me, from the very beginning,

961
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 1: I was not trying to be a parent, and I

962
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: actually think that's the most important thing I did. You

963
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: were talking earlier about your kids getting to know you

964
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: as a parent. I think it was so important that

965
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 1: and I did it impart out of a little trepidation

966
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: about you coming into your kids' lives. I was very

967
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 1: nervous about it and very hesitant, but I didn't want

968
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 1: to come in as a parent. I thought I had

969
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: no authority over them. I didn't want to have any

970
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 1: authority over them. My first priority was to try to

971
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 1: get to know them. And I always said from the beginning,

972
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: I want to be someone in your life who loves you,

973
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: who will support you, who will be there for you.

974
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 1: I guess at the most I would say a mentor

975
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 1: if you want to come to me for advice, I'm

976
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: always here, But I'm not your parent, and I don't

977
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:46,279
Speaker 1: ever want to try to be. And that I think

978
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,439
Speaker 1: really just helped us lay the groundwork of a relationship.

979
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: The best advice I got was actually on a first

980
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 1: date about from my perspective, how to bring LZ or

981
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 1: anyone into my kids' lives. So are you talking about it?

982
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: Do you want to day with someone else? No, I'm confused. Okay,

983
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: I did. I went on at first date a while back,

984
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 1: right after I got divorced, and we were having the conversation.

985
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: She had kids, I had kids, obviously, and we were

986
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: having the conversation about when do you introduce somebody, when

987
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 1: do you bring them into their lives? And she had

988
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 1: a great point, and it's so simple, she said, you know,

989
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,320
Speaker 1: I asked my kids. I asked my kids what they wanted.

990
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 1: And it's so funny how simple that is. But as parents,

991
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 1: when you get divorced, there's so much at stake, and

992
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 1: you're so worried about the fact you've screwed up your kids,

993
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 1: and so you're trying to protect them. And I was

994
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: so overly cautious about not bringing anyone around my kids.

995
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,759
Speaker 1: So finally I took her advice and I came back.

996
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 1: Didn't work out in that relationship, but I came back

997
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 1: and I said, hey, Josh Taylor, when do you guys

998
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: want to meet anybody? And they said, Dad, we know

999
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 1: you're dating. We're not idiots, but we don't want to

1000
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: meet everybody. But if they become important enough for you

1001
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 1: to keep dating, then that means they should be important

1002
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: to us and we should meet them. Maybe they weren't

1003
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 1: that eloquent at the time, but that was essentially their point.

1004
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: And the main point was this, And this is what

1005
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,720
Speaker 1: would have ruined it for you if I had waited

1006
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,839
Speaker 1: until you and I were hit over heels in love.

1007
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,920
Speaker 1: I knew I wanted to propose to you. And then

1008
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 1: I bring you into my kids and say, guys, want

1009
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: you to meet Lauren Ziema. We're getting engaged. She's going

1010
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: to be your step mom. The ship has sailed, and

1011
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: now you're forcing this person down your kid's throats as

1012
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: opposed to they get to know her along with you,

1013
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:40,399
Speaker 1: and that relationship grows just as your relationship grows. And look,

1014
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: there can still be problems. There's still a lot of

1015
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:46,320
Speaker 1: other hurdles you can cross, but that helped the kids

1016
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: getting to know you. And I know you were worried

1017
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 1: about meeting them too early, but I think them getting

1018
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 1: to know you as we fell in love more and

1019
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,839
Speaker 1: more was huge because they got to know and love

1020
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: you and they got to see how happy you made

1021
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: their dad. I'm gonna ask you a quod I'm gonna

1022
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: ask you before because I'm just thinking about it. The

1023
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 1: risk there, right is your kids getting close with someone

1024
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 1: and then you're breaking up with that person. Yeah, were

1025
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: you afraid of that at all? When? Like, because I

1026
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: meant the kids fairly early on, but I will say

1027
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: they were teenagers, so they weren't like young kids. They

1028
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 1: weren't so impressionable. But I mean, look, I didn't have

1029
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 1: a revolving door of women, and so I think or

1030
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,319
Speaker 1: men by the way, either way, this goes for women

1031
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 1: and men, whether you're a single mom, single dad. I

1032
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 1: think there is that case and that fear of don't

1033
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 1: have a revolving door of people in and out of

1034
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: your life. Hopefully you narrow it down to people that

1035
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 1: are special to you and that you see a future with.

1036
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 1: And I waited till I thought in my heart we

1037
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: were going to at least date for quite some time.

1038
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 1: So that's the game. We were going to have a relationship.

1039
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: This wasn't just I'm going to call her up and

1040
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 1: see what she's doing Thursday. This may have potential. I

1041
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 1: really thought, this is someone who's going to be in

1042
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 1: my life and she's important to me. I want her

1043
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 1: to start meeting the kids. It didn't mean I ready

1044
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 1: to marry you by any means. We weren't at that point.

1045
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: But are we now to the wedding questions? But anyway,

1046
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,920
Speaker 1: so yeah, I think it was just you've done a

1047
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: phenomenal job at that though, and you did such a

1048
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 1: a well, you have great kids, babe. It's easy. So

1049
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 1: we're going to end this episode with the Kicker. Okay,

1050
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 1: back in my newsdays we called it the kicker on

1051
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 1: the on the funny note, what is a quirk about

1052
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 1: each other? Personality, hygiene, habits? Really a question from someone? Yes, Windy,

1053
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 1: this is from Windy. What's a quirk about each other

1054
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 1: that surprised you? It's like, once we started dating, what

1055
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,320
Speaker 1: is something that you After we lived together and started

1056
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 1: moving in together and integrating our lives, what's something that

1057
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 1: you thought, Oh dear lord, oh okay, I know. Um.

1058
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:56,919
Speaker 1: So when we moved in together sooner than we thought

1059
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 1: we would have because of the pandemic, right, um, and

1060
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: then we were stuck inside the house, and I was

1061
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,240
Speaker 1: going a little stir crazy. So I love to organize,

1062
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:08,879
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, this is Chris's house he moved

1063
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 1: into after he got divorced. Like, first of all, I

1064
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:12,959
Speaker 1: have to make a little room for some of my stuff.

1065
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,799
Speaker 1: But second of all, you know, the house hadn't gotten

1066
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 1: a lot of attention in recent years. So I'm like,

1067
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna organize the house. I'm gonna revamp the kid's rooms,

1068
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 1: will like do some redecorating. If we're going to be

1069
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,360
Speaker 1: in this house, let's make the space great. You guys.

1070
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison is a put together man on the surface.

1071
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:33,600
Speaker 1: I mean, the hair is done, you know, the beard

1072
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 1: is trimmed. He can wear a suit, he can help

1073
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 1: you pick out an outfit. He has great taste. He

1074
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 1: just he looks good. But literally behind closed doors, like

1075
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,839
Speaker 1: I'm saying, the surfaces of his kitchen counter are clean,

1076
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 1: but you open a cabinet, stuff comes pouring out. I

1077
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: couldn't believe it. I'm not a great organizer. I'm not

1078
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 1: a great organizer. I went room my room through this house,

1079
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 1: like so obviously i'd been there. I'd stay the night,

1080
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 1: but I'd never like opened cabinets and kind of gone

1081
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 1: through things, and oh my gosh, literally in one cabinet,

1082
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,360
Speaker 1: one cabinet just had a like empty cardboard boxes. It's like,

1083
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 1: what are you doing with these? Being a single dad

1084
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,919
Speaker 1: post divorce when I moved in, you know, I don't

1085
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 1: know if other dads, other guys can relate to this

1086
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 1: and other women, but I just kind of started throwing

1087
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: stuff in places and then it never laughs yeah, and

1088
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 1: it never leaves it. And you have all these keepsakes, right,

1089
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 1: you have stuff you've kind of acquired, so you know, kids,

1090
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 1: art projects and just stuff that you're like, what do

1091
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: I do with this? And so instead of making a

1092
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 1: decision because your life has been so crazy, you're like,

1093
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 1: just put it in a drawer, put it in a show,

1094
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 1: like just I'll deal with it some other time. You

1095
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 1: want to really know, how do you get to know somebody?

1096
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 1: Let them go through every inch of your life in

1097
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 1: your house. I will say I actually felt it made

1098
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: me feel like, Okay, this guy really loves me and

1099
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: he really has nothing to hide. Because I didn't warn

1100
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 1: him about this, and I was already living there, I

1101
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 1: just said, hey, I'm going to organize the whole house.

1102
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 1: And he was like, Okay, go for it. And I thought,

1103
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 1: oh wow, he's really He's letting me in a lot

1104
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 1: of pictures and a lot of things that, you know,

1105
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 1: a perspective. He didn't have any slip he didn't have

1106
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: any Scaleton's in your class. No, but so I let you,

1107
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: let you go through everything. He would come to me

1108
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 1: with some pictures and like, oh yeah, that's that's from

1109
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: my past. I guess one that stuck out for you,

1110
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: what like I'm quirky, Kirk would be the quirk you were.

1111
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: I knew your love of theater, you know. I loved

1112
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 1: you on Roses and Rose as everyone did, and obviously

1113
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: I watched you do grand theater on a large scale

1114
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 1: on TV and entertainment tonight. I didn't know it would

1115
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:49,920
Speaker 1: always come home with you. I didn't come out. I

1116
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: didn't know that was that Hepburn? Who was that? My

1117
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 1: trans Atlantic vice? What do you mean? What are you saying?

1118
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 1: I didn't know I would be getting back. I didn't

1119
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:04,360
Speaker 1: know I'd be getting married. Guys, this is twenty four seven.

1120
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,919
Speaker 1: I didn't know I'd be getting married. Oh I knew

1121
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,960
Speaker 1: you love Harry Potter but I didn't know. I didn't

1122
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 1: do Voldemort on the first date. For the second or

1123
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 1: third it was a while. It actually was a while,

1124
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 1: and you still don't love it. You love a lot

1125
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 1: of things about me, but I know you don't love

1126
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 1: the Valdimore. It's not my favorite. It's the face you make,

1127
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: the impression I have to kind of make. You have

1128
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,160
Speaker 1: to make your face look sort of malleable and mushy

1129
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 1: because of the different stages of his body that he's

1130
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 1: coming back into as he uses the horcruxes to come

1131
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 1: back to life and a human vice. I'm gonna go

1132
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 1: back to. Let me tell you what. You don't want

1133
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 1: your significant other to ever look like malleable and mushy.

1134
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: That's two sexy worse. Okay, baby, you look malleable and

1135
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 1: mushy tonight. And if I'm doing my Voldemort impression, thank

1136
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 1: you for You're welcome, thank you. But yeah, so that

1137
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 1: would be for me. There was There's a lot of

1138
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 1: voices that come with l Z. Okay, I will say,

1139
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 1: maybe this is a dating tip. A friend of mine

1140
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 1: told me. She said, I'm not going to date someone

1141
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 1: who doesn't want me exactly as I am. I don't

1142
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 1: hid anything like from date one. That's a mistake. I

1143
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: don't agree. Here's why we all have different versions of

1144
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 1: ourselves for different settings. I'm not going to do my

1145
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: voldemorret impression at an interview, at a business meeting with someone.

1146
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it. You know, the first

1147
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 1: time I meet, I don't know what you want to

1148
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: sleep with exactly, But wait till on year ten we

1149
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: hook up. We do Voldemore cosplay just get its dark maybe,

1150
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: but I do I do think that. Like Look, the

1151
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 1: question wasn't whether you would accept me fully as myself

1152
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 1: from day one. The question was ultimately would you love

1153
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 1: me fully as myself? But I do think that that

1154
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 1: full self can be revealed over time. Look, when we

1155
01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 1: are dating, you always ask yourself the question, can I

1156
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,280
Speaker 1: accept this person as they are? I'm not ever telling

1157
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:10,919
Speaker 1: you to lie. When you're dating somebody, you just don't

1158
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: have to show them the whole truth and nothing but

1159
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 1: the truth. Yet it needs to be a slow rollout,

1160
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: you know, take it easy. You know, you don't have

1161
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,480
Speaker 1: to vomit everything about you and show everything all at once.

1162
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 1: Harry Potter is on a date. On that note, we're

1163
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 1: gonna say goodbye because Lauren and I have a lot

1164
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: to talk about. Thank you guys so much for all

1165
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,520
Speaker 1: your questions. This has always been important to us that

1166
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: the show is about you and it's with you, and

1167
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 1: taking your questions is a vital part of that. And

1168
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 1: we're going to do more and more. We're gonna open

1169
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 1: the phone lines coming up. We'll continue to have great

1170
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,320
Speaker 1: guests and great headlines, but want to talk more about

1171
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 1: these relationships and dive into it with you. We'll talk

1172
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:00,600
Speaker 1: to you next time because we have a lot more

1173
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 1: to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram

1174
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 1: at the most dramatic pod ever and make sure to

1175
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 1: write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll

1176
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:09,919
Speaker 1: talk to you next time.