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Speaker 1: Two hopeless one dating app then dares you, guys, swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic. It's

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Speaker 2: Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 1: It's the dating game show that just wiped right on

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Speaker 1: Missus Claus for a special holiday edition of Battle of the.

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Speaker 3: Tender Data missus Claws on the dating app don't be jealous, Okay.

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Speaker 1: It's where two of our listeners are gonna go ahead

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Speaker 1: to head to find out whose dating life is the

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Speaker 1: most tragic. We're gonna explain the rules in just a second,

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Speaker 1: but first let's meet today's contestants.

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Speaker 4: In this corner.

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Speaker 1: Every Christmas, he volunteers at a tree farm, offering single

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Speaker 1: moms a sleigh ride they'll never forget. Hey, it's jingle

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Speaker 1: Bell Kelly. Okay, kel Brook wants to know where your

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Speaker 1: tree farm.

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Speaker 3: Is kind of excited. Finally shopping and.

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Speaker 1: In the other corner, he tells all the ladies he's

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Speaker 1: got a bigger caret than Frosty and he can prove it.

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Speaker 2: No man, damn.

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Speaker 1: Guys.

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Speaker 3: Usually not a good side if you have to prove it, buddy.

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Speaker 1: But here's how the game works. One contestant is gonna

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Speaker 1: start by telling one of their worst dating stories that

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Speaker 1: happened around the holidays. Then the other's gonna try and

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Speaker 1: counter with the nightmare story of their own. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: go back and forth for three rounds, and afterwards we'll

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Speaker 1: declare a winner. Jingle bell Kel you're going first.

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Speaker 2: Let's hear it.

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Speaker 4: I was with this girl. She spent the night at

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Speaker 4: my house around Christmas time. Okay, I wake up at

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Speaker 4: like three o'clock in the morning because I hear like

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Speaker 4: all this rustling and banging and stuff. Oh. I go

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Speaker 4: into the living room. I look, and she's opening all

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Speaker 4: of my gifts under the tree.

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Speaker 3: I had a roommate who couldn't stand not knowing what

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Speaker 3: was in a package? Was that her fay? Like she

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Speaker 3: would unwrap my gift and rewrap it.

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Speaker 1: What was she doing opening your gifts?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? So this is the crazy part. I was like,

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Speaker 4: what the hell are you doing? And she's like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I needed something good to apologize to my

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Speaker 4: boyfriend for like cheating on it. So she's taking like

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Speaker 4: my Blu ray player to give to this dude.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty nice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So I went to Zoo Lights for a date

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Speaker 2: with this girl.

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Speaker 3: The lights at the Zoo that's awesome.

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Speaker 2: I know, yeah I did too until until this what happened? Well,

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Speaker 2: on her tender profile she said she was a risk taker. Okay,

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Speaker 2: right when we get there, she told me I needed

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Speaker 2: to be her lookout and she hopped the fence and

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Speaker 2: she told me she's only two barricades away from getting

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Speaker 2: a selfie.

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Speaker 3: With the giraffe. I mean, out of all the animals,

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Speaker 3: that's a good one.

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Speaker 1: Unless you have a really, really really long selfie. State happened.

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Speaker 2: I ditched her. I was like, this is not for me,

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Speaker 2: but checked her Tinder and that very night she changed

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Speaker 2: her profile picture to her with the draft.

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Speaker 4: And back to cal So I go out on this

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Speaker 4: date and we end up going to like the shopping

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Speaker 4: mall okay, okay, and it's the time of year where

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Speaker 4: all the kids are there meeting Santa. Yeah, so there's

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Speaker 4: like no line, so we're thinking, why not, let's go

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Speaker 4: meet Santa.

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Speaker 3: That's cute.

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Speaker 4: So we get up there and she leans over and

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Speaker 4: she whispers in my ear that she's got this like

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Speaker 4: kinky fantasy about Santa Claus.

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Speaker 3: Who doesn't that's not a normal thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh sorry, weird? Uh yeah, A lot happen.

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Speaker 4: So she makes me stand behind Santa Claus and while

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Speaker 4: they take the pictures, she's like grinding on this lap,

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Speaker 4: calling them daddy claws.

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Speaker 1: Did this girl's name happened to be Alexis?

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Speaker 3: You will do anything to get a good present?

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Dan, you're gonna have to step it up, all right.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 2: I was also on a Christmas shopping date, okay, and

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Speaker 2: we were waiting in this really long checkout line and

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Speaker 2: this girl starts getting really impatient and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, just calm down. But the next thing I know,

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Speaker 2: she stuffs her purse up her shirt and she dumps

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Speaker 2: her sprite on the ground and was like, my water

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Speaker 2: just broke. I need to check out now.

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Speaker 3: Oh gosh, she faked labor.

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Speaker 1: My god, your carbonated.

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Speaker 2: Water broke made a huge scene. Everyone's like panicking and

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Speaker 2: freaking out and looking at us, and she just she

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Speaker 2: winks at me, and I'm like, this girl's note did

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Speaker 2: it work? Oh yeah, it works.

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Speaker 1: He's going to ditch that girl.

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Speaker 2: But we're.

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Speaker 1: Jingle bell call, what do you got?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I met this girl on tender. You know. Once again,

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Speaker 4: it was December, so it's like the time with like

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Speaker 4: the Advent calendars.

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Speaker 3: Are out oh, yeah, were you open each day and

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Speaker 3: eat like a little chocolate or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Yea, so this, you know, this is on the counter

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Speaker 4: and I said to her, I'm like, oh, it's this year.

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Speaker 4: She goes, no, it's hours, hours and yeah, hours, and

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Speaker 4: she's telling me to open it up, you know. So

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Speaker 4: I did and inside is an engagement ring?

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Speaker 3: What what she put an engagement ring inside that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, there was an engagement ring. When I popped this

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Speaker 4: thing open and I'm like, what is this? I took

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Speaker 4: it out and she started crying and going.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the plot of that holiday Hallmark movie, the

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Speaker 1: Advent track. We're on to the last one, snowman, Dan,

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Speaker 1: this is your last shot.

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Speaker 2: So this one's sick. This girl invited me to do

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Speaker 2: a sleigh ride like a horse drawn like sick Like cool?

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Speaker 3: Right, like yeah, no.

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Speaker 2: So we were talking the whole time. It was getting flirty,

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Speaker 2: it was going well, and then we're kissing and the

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Speaker 2: sleigh driver turns around and gives the thumbs up.

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Speaker 3: Okay, like nice job man.

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Speaker 2: He tells her to invite me over for dinner, and

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Speaker 2: it turns out that it was her boyfriend and their

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Speaker 2: holiday wish was to find a third Oh, Wow, and

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Speaker 2: you accepted and we're all three together still to this day.

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Speaker 1: It was a merry Christmas for all.

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Speaker 3: I think that was the fourth day of Christmas.

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Speaker 1: That's the final bell. The match is over, Judges, we

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Speaker 1: need to score this. Alexis who wins.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to Kel for almost getting married on a date.

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Speaker 3: I guess that's.

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Speaker 1: One for jingle bell Kel Brookes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I got to go with the engagement ring for

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Speaker 3: Kel for sure.

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Speaker 1: Till congratulations. Man, you have one of the saddest holiday

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Speaker 1: dating lives we've ever heard.

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Speaker 3: Engage congratulations.

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Speaker 1: All you want for Christmas is one stable person to date.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely congratulations man.

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Speaker 1: That's Battle of the Tender Days holiday edition. We got

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Speaker 1: your phone tap coming up next