1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you're listening to the Velvet 2 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:06,439 Speaker 1: Edge podcast. This week, my guest is radio host, American 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: idol mentor and a winner of Dancing with the Stars, 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 1: Mr Bobby Bones. Bobby has been on the podcast before, 5 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: and on that podcast we revealed that we have dated 6 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: in the past. He is a client of mine. I 7 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,959 Speaker 1: do his styling and his grooming, and now we've also 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 1: become really great friends. So I get messages from you 9 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: guys all of the time asking how in the world 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: do we make that work? Is it awkward? Is it weird? 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: We're answering all of those questions today. Here's what Bobby 12 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: had to say. Okay, I'm here with my friend and client, 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: Bobby Bones. Hi. Hi, are you sticking me up? We 14 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: are in New York right now. We're sharing a hotel 15 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 1: room because there were no other rooms. Well that's a lie. 16 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: So we're starting this podcast off wonderfully. No, we're I'm 17 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: doing some work um here for a brand dog chawl 18 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: give m a shout out, work with veterans, and you 19 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:05,320 Speaker 1: came with me to travel to to my styling and 20 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: then grooming. Yeah, to me, it's all the I mean, 21 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: it's all the same. It's all the same, Okay, Like 22 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: my face is styled, my closes are styled. That's all styled. Uh. 23 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: And then we travel all the rest of the year together, 24 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: many times to a lot of places for all American idol. 25 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: And yes, that's it. But that's a lot of trips. Yeah, 26 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: it's a lot of different trips. Actually, I mean, I 27 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: assume people know this about us. But we dated in 28 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 1: the past. I think, yeah, I think everybody or most 29 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 1: people wouldn't know that. But if you don't know that, 30 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: we did date in the past, and now we work 31 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: together and we're friends. And so a question I get 32 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,839 Speaker 1: a lot from people is is that ever weird between 33 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,839 Speaker 1: you and Bobby or how do you guys make that work? 34 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: What do you answer? What's the what do you answer? 35 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:44,319 Speaker 1: But what's the honest truth? Okay, honestly I answer you know, 36 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: maybe at first it was a little more difficult, but 37 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: now I feel like we've actually found a really good groove. 38 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,639 Speaker 1: He's rolling as us. No, I didn't realize. I'm looking 39 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: to the sky as I am deliberating what my appropriate 40 00:01:55,880 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: answer would be. Okay, so I think that's a good 41 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: I think that, well, this is the truth. When we 42 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: didn't date anymore, I tried a couple other stylists and 43 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: they just weren't that good. I love that answer personally, 44 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh man, I guess I gotta 45 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: fix this. And so then we just kind of fixed 46 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: whatever it was. And I think if you weren't as 47 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: talented at your job, we probably wouldn't be friends. Well, 48 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,639 Speaker 1: I just know me and we would. We wouldn't be 49 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: on bad terms, but we definitely wouldn't be hanging out 50 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: as much as we do because I feel like I 51 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: could now go on a Wednesday at seven o'clock FaceTime, 52 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: You'll be like, Hey, you wanna get some to eat, 53 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: and we just go eat. And it wouldn't be now 54 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: if we were both super single, which we're not, because 55 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: you're not. That's that you just broke the news. Oh whatever. 56 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: Who knows you may be about the time this thing 57 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: comes into Who knows. I don't know what's happening, Like 58 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: there's no knows to be broken. But I'm saying if 59 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,519 Speaker 1: you weren't super single, there would be like a one 60 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: and six chance we'd probably still hook up. Oh wow, 61 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: so you're saying not a very big one, right, But 62 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: I'm saying it would still be out there. We have 63 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: both been single for a very long time now at 64 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 1: the same time, and that has not happened. The early 65 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: part of it, it probably wasn't best for us to 66 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: do it because we were coming fresh out of you 67 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: being angry at me. By the way, for no reason, 68 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: I didn't There was nothing dishonest about any part of 69 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: it we can agree to disagree on. I didn't like. 70 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: It wasn't that. It wasn't like lying to you about anything. 71 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: There was nothing I was like cheating on you weren't know. Well, 72 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: that's that is where I think our relationship maybe wasn't 73 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: as serious as some of your relationships have been or 74 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: my relationships. So we weren't exclusively just dating each other 75 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: point right. So it wasn't like it was a bad 76 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: It wasn't even a breakup. It was like a sizzle 77 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: yeah blow up, More like, yeah, an explosion that sucked 78 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: us up back in um. But my point is if 79 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: we're both super single, that there was a small chance 80 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: that if we continue to hang out, we'd probably just 81 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: hook up again but never date. Okay, I mean, I've 82 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: that never works for me, so I mean, yeah, okay, 83 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: I'm not saying it works. Yeah, So anyway, we move 84 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 1: on from what it would be because that's not what's happening. 85 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: So you're saying I was valuable to your life because 86 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: of the work stuff, and now we've now figured out, 87 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: would you say that we found a good stride? Yeah, 88 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: I think so. Listen, if it wasn't a good place 89 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,919 Speaker 1: for me to be, and I wouldn't be doing it totally. 90 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: Anything that's not healthy for me, I rid myself of Okay, 91 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: so people ask, But also we can hang out, not 92 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: just work. It was just like I kept young because 93 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 1: you're good at work. I also will travel together now well, right, 94 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: and if you weren't dating somebody's want of six chance 95 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 1: we'd hook up one and six Okay. So I want 96 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: to talk about how we have made that work though, 97 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: because that is a question a lot of people say, 98 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 1: is I told you what I needed your skill set? 99 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: That's actually one of the things when I was researching 100 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: this yesterday when we're on the plane, they needed my money. 101 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: And basically, right, it's a mutually beneficial relationship. But people 102 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: say that when you're thinking about being friends with an X, 103 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: you have to find you have to weigh the pros 104 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: and cons of like what is the benefit that this 105 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 1: person brings to my life? And we did take time 106 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: apart first, which I think was super valuable. I'm friends 107 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: with well, uh I was just thinking about my history 108 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: because I think other than just the the you and I, 109 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 1: which we're called the micro, I was looking at the 110 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: macro just real quick, of all my relationships in the 111 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: past week. I've talked to three two or three ex 112 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: girlfriends just the past week as a friendship, as a 113 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: work what what was as a friendship? Yeah, I talked 114 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: to my ex girlfriend from Austin, who I was with 115 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: for six years because I was watching Nebraska play football. 116 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: She's a huge Nebraska fan, went to school there, and 117 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,479 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, as a tough loss, and like 118 00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: I reached out because I know what it's like to 119 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: lose those games and we don't lose it too or 120 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: so I don't. And we talked for a bit and 121 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 1: like I cared about her team because I spent so 122 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: much time, so I still cared about her of course, 123 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: so there's still a friendship there. And then I talked 124 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: to my other ex girlfriend who's an artist because she 125 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: won uh an award. And then we talked for a while. 126 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: So I mean, as I kid about you, I kind 127 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 1: of do go away for a minute, but then realize 128 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: that I would have never built these things to begin 129 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: with had there not been some really positive reason behind 130 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 1: it to begin with. Well, so that is I have 131 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: that as a great point because I don't do that 132 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: with my exes, like when it's done. But I've also 133 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: had kind of like bad breakups, whereas I do feel 134 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: like a lot of your people are still in your 135 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: live because I'm a good person. Serious saying I'm not 136 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: you've evaluate all of them. I don't know, I'm just 137 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: saying me. Well, so I think is to take the 138 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 1: time apart is a huge point. But then what are 139 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: other things that you've noticed with how you make it 140 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: casual or cool or well that it's never actually cooler 141 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: casual ever, for the history of life, it will never 142 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: be a cooler casual. So what were those conversations like 143 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: with those girls? Pretty cool and casual, but it will 144 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: never one be cool or casual because you've had sex 145 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: with each other. You can never be a buddy like 146 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: a straight one buddy, but you're never gonna be a 147 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: hundred percent buddy if you've exchanged below the waste fluids. Wow, 148 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: so descriptive. But what do you think the boundaries of 149 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: communication are? Because are these people in new relationships? One 150 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: of them is I don't know how knew it is. 151 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: One of them is because we talked about it. Um. 152 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: The other one isn't. I'm not, but it was it's 153 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: never we don't talk about that stuff. I guess well 154 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: one of the did because I was like, I was like, hey, 155 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: how's you dat anybody? She's like, yeah, I've been in 156 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: the new guys awesome, And I was like that's great, 157 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: Like how long do you guys? So it really wasn't 158 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: a a factor positive. I guess it felt more positive 159 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: than negative because it's like, all that's cool, but there's 160 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: also that feeling of hope, he's not better than me Selfishly, 161 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: you you do feel that way about everyone they date. 162 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,239 Speaker 1: But I was like, that's great because I really respect 163 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: those people that I've dated, and I want them to 164 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: be in these healthy relationships more than I don't. Part 165 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: of me wishes they would fizzle and die and not 166 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: them those relationships because I'll never have another relationship like me. 167 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: That's what my super selfish heart thinks, and I'll say that, 168 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: but I think everybody feels that way. Yeah, you probably 169 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: don't want them to trump you, but it obviously didn't 170 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: work between you guys for some specific reason. So you 171 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: now are saying you just want the best for them. Yeah, 172 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: and I really mean it right, Like I was genuinely 173 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: think I was super pumped when she was like, he's 174 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: a great guy, and I was like, that's freaking awesome 175 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: because I wasn't able to give you what you deserved. 176 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: Do you think it's different for the person who does 177 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: the breaking up, No, because sometimes you have to do 178 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: the breaking up because the other person doesn't want to 179 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 1: break up and they should be the one breaking up. 180 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: So I don't always think that the breaker up or 181 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: is the one who is in control, because I think 182 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 1: that I I've had XS go I don't think is 183 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: working because they knew I wasn't thinking it was working. 184 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: So I don't think the person that breaks up it 185 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: ever actually doesn't happen. The person that actually wanted to 186 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: break it off, they just actually do it. Yeah, So 187 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: I think that kind of it just depends on the situation. 188 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: Remember yesterday when I was reading about this stuff, and 189 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,959 Speaker 1: I said, to you that I read the one thing 190 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 1: about you have to let the past stay in the past, 191 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: and you can't be critical of the person like the 192 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 1: certain things like if you're going to be still hate 193 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,839 Speaker 1: on me for things that used to hate on me for. 194 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: But okay, but you don't have you can do whatever 195 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: you want. We're actually closer than just buddies. I would 196 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: say we're friends, Like if you needed a kidney, I'd 197 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: consider it. I appreciate it, like I legitimately would be like, 198 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: let me see what's up. I don't know that you 199 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: would do that for any of your axes. No, I mean, 200 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 1: I've only had a few of them that were really 201 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 1: super strong. But I wouldn't do that for all my 202 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: even my buddies. But for my friends. It's not so 203 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: much even about relationships anymore. For friends, I would do that. 204 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: For acquaintances and buddies, I probably wouldn't. I'd be like, 205 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: you got a cousin somewhere you can hit up, or 206 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: I would just ignore the FaceTime. Um do you well? So? 207 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: My hard thing. I remember when you and Lindsey had 208 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: first started dating, and you had at that same time, 209 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: I was kind of being called back to do I 210 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: think that's when you first started calling me again about styling. Possibly, 211 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 1: so it's kind of back in the picture. And I 212 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: thought in my head a couple like there would be 213 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,680 Speaker 1: a couple of times we were in the same room. 214 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 1: Maybe it was at an I heard of it, and 215 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: I would want to like nitpick something like something you 216 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: were wearing or whatever. And I realized, with your girlfriend around, 217 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: that can kind of be disrespectful when you start like that. 218 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: Comfort level depends. Okay, I don't. I think it's fair 219 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: to feel that way, but probably not at first around 220 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: a new girlfriend. Should you be doing that? I agree, 221 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: you could do that, now, what do you mean, Well, 222 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: you could do it for a couple of reasons. If 223 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: I had a new girlfriend, now, you could do that 224 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,559 Speaker 1: because you've been my stylist for a long time. Okay, 225 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: fair us um. Also, if you were new to styling 226 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: me again, but I had a girlfriend for a long time, 227 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: you could do that again. But if you're back new 228 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: and she's new, Yeah, it's not that that's not a 229 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 1: good mix for totally. Like I caught myself about to 230 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: say something, I'd be like, oh, that might make her 231 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: feel kind of And I was never wanting to make 232 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: anyone feel weird or like would she felt weird? But 233 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: but I get it, Yeah, but yeah, it's all a 234 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 1: mixture of the situation. Yeah, it's just I was dating 235 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: her new, I was back new, you were back new. 236 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: It's like a just a respecting the boundaries. I think 237 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: that's the key to this is all. It's just it's such, 238 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: it's depending on the personalities. I don't think there's a 239 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 1: right way to be friends with somebody used to be 240 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: um romantically involved with, or you don't have to hate 241 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: everybody romantically involved with, or maybe you can work with 242 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,959 Speaker 1: them in different ways. I just don't think there's a 243 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: universal answer to how to be friends with an next. 244 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 1: I think personalities match. And I also don't think you 245 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: and I would have been super close again had it 246 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: not been for our skill sets together. But that brought 247 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: us together and we were able to go, oh, we're 248 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: still about really cool people to get along really well, right, 249 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: so let's not be idiots and be friends again. I 250 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 1: actually think we work better together than we have in 251 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 1: any other kind of relationship. Would you agree with that? Well, 252 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: now we're friends too, But like at first, I was like, 253 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: we really do have a good work groove. I think 254 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: we just I don't think it's a work thing. I 255 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: think we're just easy to hang around. I was gonna say, 256 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: I feel like maybe sometimes with a guy and girl, 257 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: people go automatically, oh, you should date or whatever, and 258 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,440 Speaker 1: they do say that over that picked up posts on 259 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: Instagram and you everyone's like, all you're back together. No. Um, 260 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 1: But it's like finding the kind of relationship that you're 261 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: supposed to be in with that person. That's what I 262 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,719 Speaker 1: was trying to say. Yeah, but I think again, with us, 263 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: I think it's a that's a bit fluid because we 264 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: don't just work together. We could we could go and 265 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: have dinner and hang out, you and I and it 266 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: would be fine. And I don't think either one up 267 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: to be like what's the other one up to? Like 268 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: I feel like it literally call you on a Tuesday 269 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,079 Speaker 1: at six and be like, Hey, what I mean to 270 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 1: do you want to get something to eat? And it 271 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: would mean nothing other than I'm hungry and let's catch 272 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: up totally. Um. Do you think? I do think there 273 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: was a Tom period, because now we can talk about 274 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: dating like other people and it's never weird for me. 275 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: There was a Tom period, but it was kind of 276 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: like I don't know if I want to know about 277 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: that now, I'm like, okay, who'd you go out with? 278 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: What's the story? Blah blah blah. Do you feel like 279 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: that was a struggle or like it took Tom to 280 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: get used to that on me or you? I'm asking 281 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: you about you or about sharing it about me? Well 282 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: then the answers no to neither one. Really, I never 283 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:48,079 Speaker 1: felt felt weird. I don't think that's true. Well, as 284 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: I'm finishing my sentence, I'm glad people can hear why 285 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:57,439 Speaker 1: we're not together anymore. As I'm finishing my sentence what 286 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: I was gonna say as well, I feel that even 287 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,679 Speaker 1: if it felt weird, I'm a big exposure therapy person, 288 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 1: Like it's gonna be weird to just tell me, let's 289 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,559 Speaker 1: just do it, let's just do it. I don't want 290 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to get away from it, like I 291 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 1: just want to know, because the sooner you get involved, 292 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: not just this but any situation, that the quicker it 293 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: becomes easier. So it was like, what's up, what's happening? Anybody? 294 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: They did feel like it was like I need it. 295 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: I need it because eventually it's gonna have to happen, 296 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: because anytime you find out about somebody new, it sucks 297 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: with anyone, anyone listening right now, that here's a year, 298 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: three years, nineteen years and that's the next person that 299 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: dated the person you were with, You're like, oh, that's weird. 300 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: And you do the thing like do you ever do 301 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: the thing where you look at them on Instagram where 302 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: you analyze You're like, am I better than this? That's 303 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: just me? That's that's a thing. I think I'm different. 304 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: Like I know I'm probably not gonna have the muscles 305 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: other people have, but I know I'm probably gonna be funnier. 306 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 1: I just think I have my set of strengths. So 307 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: you just own your own strang. I know what I'm 308 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: good at on what I'm not good at, and I 309 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: try to run from what I'm not good at while 310 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: getting better at them, while also highlighting what I am, 311 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: and not just in relationship, but in all parts of 312 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 1: my life, Like I go to where I'm celebrated, not tolerated, 313 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: and not just literally, but uh, you know, even metaphorically, 314 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: like I'm that's just kind of how my life operates. 315 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: I don't I don't go to comedy clubs and do comedy. 316 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: People don't know me. I go and sell theaters where 317 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 1: my people come and then, and that's basically the same thing. 318 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: So just owning yourself and not trying to compare. I 319 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 1: know what I'm good at, I know what people want 320 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: from me. I'm gonna get giving it to you while 321 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: I'm trying to get better at the other things. You know, silently. 322 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: I was reading in the Huffington's post and they said 323 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: a good litmus test um. I just lost it. I 324 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 1: would be if you met someone and you were like, ah, 325 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: this person would be good to date. Bobby like, if 326 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: I've met someone, do you have anybody? But tried. Yes. 327 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: Actually that made me feel great because I was like, 328 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: oh my god, I had to introduce one of my 329 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 1: friends to Bobby. But would that be weird for your 330 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: friend if they knew that we used to hook up? 331 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: She said. She the only thing at first was that 332 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: was weird for her was thinking like that I would 333 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: be upset by that, because you guys met and y'all 334 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: had like y'all were seemingly to me drawn to each other, 335 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, they would actually 336 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: maybe be a good payer and you've both kind of 337 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: been like no now, But but then I was like, 338 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 1: I don't think so I don't think for me. Yeah, 339 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: I said that not now the whole time, right, Yeah, 340 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: but I thought that and she said, oh, you wouldn't 341 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: care about that, and I was like no, I mean like, 342 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 1: I want him to be happy and find somebody. So 343 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: I guess I passed the test. So why okay, So 344 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: why would you recommend one of your close friends that 345 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: you love to date me? Well, honestly, it was because 346 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: I saw you guys interact that night. Okay, But if 347 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 1: I'm not a person that you think would be great 348 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 1: to date, why would you send me over to somebody else. 349 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 1: I don't think that you are not great to date. 350 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: I just think that you and I butted heads a 351 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 1: little that I don't felt like we buttered head I 352 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: felt like I was just I was just always ducking. 353 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: I was slinging. Yeah, like, oh my god, here we 354 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: go again. Well, also, I think timing back, and you know, 355 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: it's like there's so many factors you can go back. 356 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 1: There was a lot going on. I don't and I 357 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: know what you're talking. I know this whole podcast is about. 358 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 1: In my opinion to close, is I just don't think 359 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: there is a universal answer to this. Personalities matter, Timing matters. 360 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 1: I think you can look at the history of someone 361 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: and if you're with someone and you break up and 362 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,360 Speaker 1: they've never been friends any there because I'm not gonna 363 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,679 Speaker 1: be friends with you like any sort of You're not 364 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: the different it's they're the common denominator. Um, same with you. 365 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: I would just imagine that none of your boyfriends, when 366 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 1: you guys break up, that you're gonna be friends with 367 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,360 Speaker 1: because that's just not your personality. Definitely not. However, if 368 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 1: you date me, you I'm probably going to it sometimes, 369 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: you know, annoyingly stay close to you and be like, hey, 370 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 1: are you good? What can I help you with? Because 371 00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 1: that's my personality. That's fair. Um, And I don't you know, 372 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 1: none of my relationships ended bad though. Yeah, no, I 373 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 1: guess that's if I was dating somebody in you know, 374 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: she's banging a Harlem globetrotter for a few months, I'd 375 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: be like, Yo, that's not great to you. What if 376 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: she was banging a comedian that would be like even worse, 377 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: and banging anybody's all the same. I was just trying 378 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: to think something that would really stick it to you. Yeah, 379 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 1: So I think taking the time apart You're right, different 380 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 1: personalities and also finding them mutually beneficial need for each 381 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,440 Speaker 1: other back in your life and then having boundaries that's 382 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 1: me is huge in respect for the new relationships. Okay, 383 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: do you have anything else you want to add to 384 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: that list? Just everybody, everybody's different. I think if you 385 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 1: know yourself, that's the biggest key. That's I mean, like 386 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: it's gonna feel weird, Okay, I know it's gonna feel 387 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: weird to me, So let me just go ahead and 388 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 1: get through the weird and the best way to get 389 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: to the weirdest attack it head on. But that's how 390 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 1: I do it. And I think knowing yourself is the 391 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 1: biggest key to success period, not even just this, even 392 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: in you want to be successful in your career like 393 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 1: I know, or even your diet like for me, I know, 394 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: I can't put sugar around me because I'll eat it 395 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: all the time. So you know what I do, I'll 396 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: live a life without sugar around me. Make sure it's 397 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: never around me. And then what it is like you 398 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: around put put up upstairs or eminems all around me? 399 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: What do I do? Eight the freaking eminem's a whole day, 400 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: so don't. I can't. So what's why I keep it 401 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: away from me? I know my strength and weaknesses? Right, 402 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 1: all right, I have to go. Okay, thank you for 403 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 1: doing this, um, everybody, thank you, bye. My Thanks to 404 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: Bobby Bones for being my guest this week on the 405 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: V podcast. You can follow him on social media on Twitter, 406 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Mr Bobby Bones. Obviously, you can also 407 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 1: listen to him every morning on The Bobby Bones Show. 408 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: So this podcast came from a ton of messages I 409 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: got from you guys, asking how do you and Bobby 410 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 1: work together? How are you guys still friends like you 411 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: used to date? How does that work? So hopefully we 412 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: gave you guys some insight into that and also into 413 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 1: maybe why we are better as colleagues and friends. But 414 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: I do love hearing from you guys, and so I 415 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: I want to start a new segment of the V podcast. 416 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 1: It's going to air every Friday. It'll be called Act Casual, 417 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,120 Speaker 1: and it's going to feature myself and my good friend 418 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: Chip Doors just diving into topics like this, Topics that 419 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 1: maybe are just hard life questions or things that we've 420 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: gone through that are maybe a little awkward that either 421 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 1: we need advise the one or that we found a 422 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,679 Speaker 1: solution to, but just situations that you go through in 423 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: your everyday life and they're awkward, They're uncomfortable. They make 424 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 1: you think, oh my god, how do I act casual? 425 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,000 Speaker 1: Some of the topics on our radar include are happy 426 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: ending massages a thing? Because Chip and I both separately 427 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 1: have been hearing about this a lot, Like it's been 428 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 1: a major topic of conversation among my friend groups, which 429 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: is very strange to me. I neither no more information. 430 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: Is this really happening? Should this be happening? Is this illegal? 431 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:54,120 Speaker 1: Is this like fun? I don't know? Also pet peeve 432 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,920 Speaker 1: words and phrases like I know a ton of people 433 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: hate the word moist. So if you someone that you 434 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: know keep saying a certain word or a phrase that 435 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: you like, are using something incorrectly or that you don't 436 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 1: like not like, can you still be friends with them? Also? 437 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 1: What happens when you get pulled over in an uber 438 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: because the uber driver is drunk? This one actually happened 439 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,920 Speaker 1: to Chips, so he's going to tell that story. Also 440 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: what he did? It included calling Bart Durham if you're 441 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: from Nashville. Then you know what that means. But we 442 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 1: do want to hear from you, guys. What's happening out there? 443 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: What are the weird moments in your everyday life that 444 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,479 Speaker 1: just have you asking yourself, how the hell do I 445 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: Act Casual? Here? Email us at act Casual at Velvet 446 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: edge dot com and listen every Friday starting September with 447 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: the Act Casual Moment of the week. I will still 448 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,120 Speaker 1: be here every week on the V podcast on Wednesdays 449 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 1: with a new guest listening on Fridays for your Act 450 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: Casual Moment of the week. Can't wait to hear from you, guys.