1 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to Morenita, a deep dive into the Latin X experience. 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: With more Anita, we want to create a community and 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: a shared space with you while sharing knowledge and inspiration. 4 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: This show is about celebrating our culture with guests who 5 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: exemplify the best of us. I'm Darrylene Castillo Vito lament 6 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: that today we have a very very special guest for 7 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: you all. Go Vaya Jeffrey's Me and my girl got 8 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: to talking about something that might be on a lot 9 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:45,520 Speaker 1: of women's minds. Maternal desire. Maternal desire to mean so 10 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: many things you will hear. God, Vaya and I really 11 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 1: dive deep on this matter. But to put it simply, 12 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: it's that maternal instinct that us women hold. Now, I 13 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: want to say something before we dive in. This is 14 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: a conversation and that's not solely only for women. It's 15 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: for everyone. It's for partners considering building a family, for 16 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: those who are career driven and battle with this feeling 17 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: of maternal desire or feeling a maternal instinct. For others, 18 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: maternal desire can be sought out in so many ways. 19 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: Children are not the only way to show maternal desire. 20 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: This topic holds importance. I think even for those who 21 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: feel they don't have a desire for children but share 22 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: the feeling of being maternal in different ways towards different things. 23 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: We're pushing the boundaries with this topic here, so stay 24 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: with me. It's like when a CEO calls their business 25 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: their baby, or a filmmaker calls one of their films 26 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: their child. That can be a maternal desire to protect, 27 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: to grow, to nurture, and be committed to whatever the thing. 28 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: Maybe for some of you this could be the case, 29 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: and that is absolutely okay. This topic is so universal 30 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: no matter where you are in your life today. Personally, 31 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: I am one of those career driven women who has 32 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: recently gotten engaged, and the question of what are you 33 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: having babies or the pressure of jumping into building a 34 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: family right now is definitely all around me. I can't 35 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: help it even if I tried. I think this pressure 36 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: comes naturally within our society, but even more within our 37 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: Latino culture. Family is so important to us and building 38 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 1: that means so much to our families around us. My 39 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: Mommy and Poppy, who are a bit more Americanized than 40 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: some other members of my family, definitely fall into this category. 41 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: I believe my mother and father are feeling the need 42 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: for some maternal desire right now. There isn't I would 43 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: say constant pressure, but they do love to drop hints. 44 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: Some of their comments on wanting to be an abuelo 45 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: and abuela is what I perceive their desire to feel maternal, 46 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: maybe even reminisce a bit of that maternal desire they 47 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: felt with me. I think that is completely natural for 48 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: them to have this feeling yosila unica. So they only 49 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: did it once with me. I cut them some slack, 50 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: and men deal with this as well. My fiance deals 51 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: with these questions all the time of what are you 52 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: having kids? When are you having babies? And that challenge 53 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: is for him his paternal desire, meaning to desire the 54 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: need of being a father. My fiance has been a 55 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: marine now for almost twenty years, and he most definitely 56 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: holds a paternal desire. He absolutely adores kids, and he 57 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: holds a strong paternal instinct for his younger marines. He 58 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: loves his work and he loves being a mentor and 59 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: a guide for those who are new in the military world. 60 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: I see his passion and care that he takes for 61 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: his team It's a true reflection of that paternal desire, 62 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: which I also find extremely attractive, probably because we are 63 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: so aligned in this moment of where we are in 64 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 1: our lives. I do have a desire for that maternal instinct. However, 65 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: having a child in this moment currently is not quite 66 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,599 Speaker 1: on my radar. I'm currently starring in a new play 67 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,919 Speaker 1: called dream House. If you want to know more about 68 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 1: the play, referred to our episode playwriting with Eleana. It's 69 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 1: a fascinating piece and a great listen any who. I 70 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: play Julia, the younger of two sisters, who is six 71 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: months pregnant. I have to admit the pregnancy body suit 72 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: that I wear it does something to me. It's made 73 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: me crave more for this maternal desire and has added 74 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: a sense of excitement for when it does happen. Now, listen, 75 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: from what I've heard, pretending to be pregnant is a 76 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: lot more fun than actually being pregnant. So with that said, 77 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 1: I think I'll pretend for a while a until this 78 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: show closes. But in conversing with Gordovaya, I realized I 79 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: exercise my maternal instinct in so many ways. I mentor 80 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 1: and teach younger kids and adults with their acting and singing. 81 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: I guide them through their careers and auditions. I also 82 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: enjoy hosting and taking care of my guests and taking 83 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: care of those around me. I am a dog mom 84 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: of two, so I get to be a mommy to 85 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: them and practice some of these maternal instincts that I'm having. 86 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: Shout out to Georgie and Pixie, they are absolutely the 87 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: best dog kids. All of this informs me more on 88 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: my views of motherhood. Now I know I'm not alone 89 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: and asking questions about maternity and trust me, Gordevalla and 90 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: I get vulnerable, real and deep on this topic that 91 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: I think we can all relate to. It's a topic 92 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: that we spoke off air about many times, and we 93 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: decided that we should do this for everyone because it's 94 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: that important they you go into this deep dive on 95 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: maternal desire. Hello, go Vaya, and welcome to more Anita. Hi, 96 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: thank you so much. I'm happy to be here with you. 97 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: I just I think it's so interesting that we just 98 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: share our story about how we met, because it's so like, 99 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you lead on that one. Yeah, for sure. 100 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: So I don't know how exactly I discovered through a podcast, 101 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: but um, I do have a woman in my network 102 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: named Nicole Garcia and she has a team I think 103 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 1: Victory House Agency or something like that, and they produced 104 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: some graphics for a different podcasts, and um, so with 105 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: like checking her work and and and supporting her work online, 106 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 1: I ended up coming across Monanita and I was like, 107 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I have to check this out before 108 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: I even checked out any of the episodes. So I 109 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: kind of stoked you on Instagram like who's this host? 110 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: Who's that aline? Um? And I was fascinated by you 111 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: because you seemed extremely authentic and what you share and um, 112 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: there was a connection immediately because I am an art 113 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: school kid and so I love theater and I just 114 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: like I loved and I loved how you just like 115 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: reached out to me. And I was just like, this 116 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: is what Moranita is all about. Like if you connect 117 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: with us like and I will like I would love 118 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: to hear your story and like what you what we 119 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: have to offer to these conversations for our community. Um, 120 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: because it's just so important and I love that you. 121 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: You are so authentic in yourself and you reached out 122 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: so authentically and it was something that I've never done 123 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: before either, Like I was like, is this what millennials do? Now? 124 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: This is how people like? This is how people communicate 125 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: like d M s. And then we're like face timing 126 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: and we're like be at that. Have you always been 127 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: like that? Have you always been like you seem like 128 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: such a go getter and such like you just like 129 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: go after for whatever you feel in your heart, like 130 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: you're I can't always sense you're like so passionate in 131 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: your conversation. Yeah. Actually, I think it's just about my personality. 132 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: I'm extremely I'm extremely outgoing and um extremely curious. I 133 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: think my curiosity puts me in positions where, um, I 134 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: I am meeting new people, having conversations, learning about their 135 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: different cultures, and then eventually it comes to you know, 136 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: sharing mine and sharing sharing stories that I hold, um 137 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: within my life. But I think it's just a curiosity thing. 138 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: Have you always been that way? Is it something that 139 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: like you're learning to become more personable and confident out 140 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: there and like talking to people like dem ng and 141 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: things like that, or like, is this something that you've 142 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: like been working towards doing. No, I have always been 143 00:08:55,280 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 1: this way, um, before social media before my MySpace day is. 144 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: I think it comes from my personality. I am outgoing 145 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: and I am extremely curious, and so like my curiosity 146 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: constantly leads me into new spaces with new people. UM 147 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 1: and I'm always asking questions and in general, I think 148 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: I've always been a cheerleader. Like that's a role I've 149 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:24,439 Speaker 1: always played where I'm always cheering others on um. And 150 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: that is kind of love that I give out that 151 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 1: I love to receive myself. Um. And so it's just 152 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: a natural thing. I've been like that since I was 153 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 1: a kid. When it comes to me and my cousins 154 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: and my brothers and sisters, I'm always the one, like, 155 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 1: you know, wanting updates on what's happening now, what's going 156 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: on in your life? How can I support? Oh, let 157 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: me send you something. I'm going to order it on 158 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 1: Amazon for your next adventure. So I think it's just 159 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: my personality. Um and everyone's kind of like catching up. 160 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: That's how I feel like everybody's catching up. I love that. 161 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he just brought me back. You're like my 162 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: Space days. I forgot about that top eights, So go 163 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: via something I want to kind of talk about today, 164 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: UM with you is. And this is just based on 165 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: some conversations that you and I have had, um and 166 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 1: to our connection of just becoming friends and getting to 167 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: know each other even more. Um. But there's some things 168 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: that we've talked about, like you know, with our past 169 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: and how our past has affected our futures and affected 170 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 1: the people that we are today and the people that 171 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: we want to become. And UM, I want to dive 172 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: deep in that with you a little bit, UM, and 173 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 1: how your past has affected you and your future and 174 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,319 Speaker 1: where you are currently with your story and um and 175 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: what that what that feeling is for you. Yeah, it's 176 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 1: been a journey so far. I'm thirty years old and 177 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: for the last I would say five years, I've began 178 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 1: to notice how how how true it is that how 179 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: we're raised and things that we've seen and places that 180 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: we've been really do affect your adulthood even you know, 181 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 1: whether it's in a good way or a bad way. 182 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: But something I'm I'm starting to be more open about 183 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: with myself and others, so beginning to share more is 184 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: life before college, right, So like as professionals and as 185 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: artists and as creative creatives were constantly telling our story 186 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: from from this point of like um achievements. So it's like, Okay, 187 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: I was the first person of my school to graduate college, 188 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 1: and then after that I did all these amazing things. 189 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: But there's so much there's so much color, and in 190 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: my story before school, um, being born and raised in 191 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: the inner city neighborhood in New Jersey, um, you know, 192 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: being raised in this housing project and being raised by 193 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: my awla and my mother and my dps um. Those 194 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: are the stories that I'm learning how to tell now 195 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: because those stories are the ones that truly truly shaped 196 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: me to be that person that ended up achieving you know, 197 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: great things academically and career wise. Right, and and what 198 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: is it about now that for you is like you're 199 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: now feeling. I keep hearing the word like now when 200 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: you speak, and and and for me, I'm like wondering 201 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: what was that now for you? Like why now? And 202 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: and also why not before? Um? You know what's so 203 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: interesting is that before I was embarrassed, I was scared 204 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: to share the real of how we were raised. And 205 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: even though I love my family and I love my culture, 206 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: it is so sacred that I didn't want to put 207 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:58,319 Speaker 1: myself in a position to be teased or ridiculed about it. 208 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: How you know, my my my mother would send me 209 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: to my well ass house for dinner, and that's where 210 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: I had dinner. It wasn't like sitting at a family 211 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: table with my parents. It was like at my well 212 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 1: as house or or you know, having curly hair all 213 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 1: my life and my THP is telling me, you know 214 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: it needs to be straight, you need to straighten it. 215 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: You look crazy, um going to you know, yes, getting 216 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: blow out all the time. And there are just things 217 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: that I think affected me as a child that I 218 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: was just too scared to be teased about. And I 219 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: held onto that for a long time. Um. And so 220 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: now what's so interesting is that I'm experiencing as a 221 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: thirty year old woman who has you know, learned how 222 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: to be um super um self aware and contend and 223 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: kind of live in the moment more um, I'm experiencing 224 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: this sort of maternal desire where I am the TP 225 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: of all these you know, with my nieces and nephews. 226 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:09,480 Speaker 1: I have younger brothers and sisters who um, you know, 227 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: I am there for and I really really look forward 228 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: to having my own family. And so when I think 229 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: about having my own children, I want them I don't 230 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: want to hide that part of me, you know, I 231 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: don't wanna, UM never tell the stories of my upbringing 232 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: because it is a part of my legacy that I 233 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: will create. And so with my nieces and nephews, I 234 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: realized how different their lives are because we've we've come 235 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 1: a long way as a family, but there's still some 236 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: values that that stem from our roots that I want 237 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 1: them to know. And so I'm just starting to be 238 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: less scared to share, you know, what life was really 239 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: like for us and for me before you know, college. Yeah, 240 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 1: and it's so important. I think that you're sharing those 241 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: stories and you're sharing that that your past, your history, 242 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: because that's like the beginning of breaking like cultural like 243 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: generational trauma. I mean everything you're talking about, like that 244 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: embarrassment and like you know, that shame of of of 245 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: your past or like the embarrassment of being ridiculed. I 246 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 1: completely share that with you. UM. It's it's just and 247 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: I wonder how cultural it is because a lot of 248 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: the Latinos that I speak to, UM, latin that I 249 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: speak to, like, we all share this same story with 250 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 1: each other. It's more common than than we think. UM. 251 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: And the thing is is that we don't talk about 252 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: it with each other, and that's a part of the 253 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: shame and a part of the guilt, right. But once 254 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: we start opening up and having conversations and dialogue about it, 255 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: then we're like freeing ourselves from this generational trauma and 256 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: all this these past issues that we've been through. Just 257 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: diving in a little bit more on your story, the 258 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: relationship that you have with your mother, Um, how has 259 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: her how has that affected you? Like being raised by 260 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: a single mother who was you know, very young, Like 261 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: what was that experience? And I want to dive in 262 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: a little deeper because you know, you did talk about 263 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 1: being a little embarrassed of your story where you came 264 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: from and such, So I wanted, like, I'm curious for you, 265 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 1: like what was that like for you? Yeah, thank you 266 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 1: for asking. Um. So, my mother is incredible. She she's 267 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: Puerto Rican, um and she she uh fell in love 268 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: with my father who's Black American. And UM, my mother 269 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: is very fair skinned with very fine hair. Um. She's 270 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: also curvy and um, and she she's very Latina, you know, 271 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,520 Speaker 1: like that what you imagine as a Latino woman. She 272 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:15,640 Speaker 1: is very much that. And I have always been very 273 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: close to her from the outside perspective, like people always 274 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: see my mother and I together, we are like a duo. UM. 275 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: But here I am, you know, this little brown girl, um, 276 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 1: who is black to all of the Latinas in my 277 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 1: school or in my friend group, but is Latina to 278 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,639 Speaker 1: all of the black friends in my friend group or 279 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: all of my black cousins. And so my mother always 280 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: wanted me to embrace my Puerto Rican culture and that's 281 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 1: all she knew. She wanted me to embrace that to 282 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: the highest regard. UM. And my father wanted me to 283 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: never forget that I am a black woman too, um. 284 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: And so it was always this like tug of war. 285 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: I think it was a tug of war. Um. There 286 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: are stories in my family of you know, my my grandmother, 287 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 1: my mother bringing me home and my grandmother putting leg 288 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: but the li leaves or banana leaves on my nose 289 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: to make sure it doesn't get too big, or um, 290 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: you know, doing deep conditioners in my hair to make 291 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: sure that it's not too kinky. And so it's always been, um, 292 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: this tug of war. But I never I never looked 293 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 1: at my mother as if she was a problem for that, 294 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: or my father like he was a problem for that, 295 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: I just took on the responsibility as a kid to 296 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: like figure it out, um and to play both arenas 297 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: and to make everybody happy. Um. So so there's that. Yeah, 298 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:57,239 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, have you ever experienced Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 299 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: I mean you and I have different have very have 300 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: different backgrounds, but like we have very similar stories in 301 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 1: the sense that that like, you know, I grew up 302 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,400 Speaker 1: like in a predominantly white neighborhood and and I had 303 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 1: to play all of these corners. I had to play 304 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 1: all these games. I had to like I was doing 305 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: I was you know, I thought it was cooling off 306 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,920 Speaker 1: a scheme. I thought I was like doing the thing. 307 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: And like you know, with my white friends, I wasn't black, 308 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: but I wasn't fully Spanish. But then with my black friends, 309 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,479 Speaker 1: I wasn't black enough because I spoke Spanish. And then 310 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,679 Speaker 1: with my Spanish friends, I wasn't Spanish enough because my 311 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 1: skin was too dark, and like how could I be Latina? 312 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,680 Speaker 1: You know. So it's like we've grown up like playing 313 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: all of these hearts. I always laughed, like like I've 314 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: always been an actor, Like of course I have like 315 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 1: listening back to this of course, I've been an acter 316 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 1: my entire life. I've been acting through the world, you know, like, yeah, 317 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 1: I completely feel that experience that you're sharing. Um, but 318 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: I love that you're making that maternal desire that you're 319 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: finding in your life now and you're adapting that to 320 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 1: like the younger people that are a part of your life. 321 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: And while we're at it, let's dive into this maternal 322 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: desire idea. So, first off, Maternal Desire is a book 323 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: that Gord Vailla actually recommended to me. And please correct 324 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. Um, if I butcher the author's name. Um, 325 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 1: but Daphne Demarnif is the writer of the book, did 326 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: I butcher it? No? I think you got it right. 327 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: It's a French name, so so yes, Um, I think 328 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 1: we're forgiven if we if we messed it up a 329 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: little bit, but I think you got it right. I'm 330 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:41,760 Speaker 1: gonna get my French accent on Daphne. Um. Yeah, Daphne Marneff. 331 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: And the book is called Maternal Desire, And um, I'm 332 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,160 Speaker 1: so grateful that you that you offered up this book 333 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: to me because I think, well, you and I both 334 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,640 Speaker 1: share you know, we're both thirty and we're both Afro 335 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 1: Latina females and we're both feeling this desire. Can you 336 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about the maternal desire and 337 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 1: what that is for you? Yeah, for sure. So she's 338 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:08,400 Speaker 1: like a feminist psychoanalytic, but she's essentially sharing her perspectives 339 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: on um the struggles of motherhood, but then kind of 340 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 1: flipping it to say, not all women struggle, Like some 341 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: women are actually looking forward to mothering and staying at 342 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 1: home and putting their children before their careers and their 343 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: jobs and in some type of way UM. And she 344 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: kind of has a like a psychological viewpoint which is 345 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,440 Speaker 1: really it really opened my mind. UM. And she even 346 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: talks about in the book how um our maternal desire 347 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,959 Speaker 1: for some women is innate. It is in us and 348 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 1: so UM. Of course, as society and and you know, 349 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: the American culture and the Western culture UM evolves, we 350 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: find that we are you know, I found we're we're 351 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: guilty for are wanting to birth children and spend as 352 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: much time with our children and raise our children. UM. 353 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 1: But that but that we are essentially UM fighting what 354 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: is what is innately in us to to want to 355 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: love children and want to have children in our inner 356 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 1: lives and so for me, the maternal desire is there, 357 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: and um, it's so important for me to um be 358 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: able to carry that out if if I'm so blessed 359 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 1: to carry that out and be a very present mother 360 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: um and and sort of give my child with the 361 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:48,119 Speaker 1: pieces of me that come from Iola, my aunt's, my mother, 362 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 1: my sisters and sort of like bring all of us 363 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: together and use all of the lessons I learned from 364 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,119 Speaker 1: all of those women who have raised me and pour 365 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: that into my child. UM. And for me, UM, there's 366 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,120 Speaker 1: no way that I would be able to fully do 367 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 1: that as a present mother if I am feeling the 368 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: pressure of having to juggle it all and do it all. Um. 369 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 1: And so this book kind of like puts you in 370 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 1: a place where you feel at ease about, Hey, I 371 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 1: just want to be a mother at some point in 372 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 1: my life. I'm want to experience that I'm gonna give 373 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: my child with that time and that presents UM And 374 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 1: then also I want to be there for my child 375 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 1: in a way that they're not turning thirty and are 376 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,159 Speaker 1: starting to figure out where they are in their story, 377 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: what documents have been archived about their family, what stories 378 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 1: haven't been told about their family as present mothers. We 379 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: can start to tell those stories from very early on, UM, 380 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: but it may be hard to do that when you're 381 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,439 Speaker 1: juggling like sixty hours a week at work and UM. 382 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 1: You know, extracurritity activity is in trying to be like 383 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: the number one, you know, UM woman in whatever community 384 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,160 Speaker 1: of women you're in, UM, giving back to other communities 385 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: and not pouring into the community that is of you 386 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 1: if your home. And I think this maternal desire is 387 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: like specifically so interesting for our culture because I feel 388 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: like the Latino culture, like we automatically have that maternal desire. 389 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 1: Like maybe I should just speak for like my family, 390 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 1: Like all the women in my family are very maternal, 391 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like just like just like 392 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:35,400 Speaker 1: you said, you grew up with like like I grew 393 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,159 Speaker 1: up with my thea, my mom, my other, the my 394 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 1: my dad, my dad's uncle, like and it's and it 395 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: goes even beyond you know, female to me, like even 396 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 1: the man the men and my family are very maternal, 397 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 1: you know. So it's like it's such an interesting topic 398 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,120 Speaker 1: to me because it's so relevant in our in our 399 00:24:56,200 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 1: cultural experience. UM. And I think that that speaks to 400 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: why you know, maybe you and I are experiencing that feeling, 401 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 1: that need. And what I love about the book is 402 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: that it just offers like a very contemporary view on motherhood. 403 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 1: And as you were saying, how do we handle ourselves 404 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: when we do have our children and we are working 405 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 1: sixty hours and plus a week and trying to have 406 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,359 Speaker 1: it all? Um? And it's so interesting that you and 407 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 1: I are talking about this because we're not mothers, but 408 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:35,640 Speaker 1: we have a desire for that. And I do feel though, 409 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: like sometimes that desire can be like pressured, right a 410 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 1: little bit like I don't know, do you feel that 411 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,479 Speaker 1: a little bit from like your family? Um? You know 412 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: what's so interesting. There is no one in my family 413 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 1: pressuring me to have children. But you know why I 414 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 1: think that is, Um, I think it's because I don't 415 00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: know that this maternal desire was allowed or like women 416 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,399 Speaker 1: at that time, you know, when my grandmother was birthing children, 417 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,639 Speaker 1: or even some of my aunts were birthing children, I 418 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,120 Speaker 1: don't know that this maternal desire was allowed or they 419 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,440 Speaker 1: had space to think about it. I think that motherhood 420 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: was oftentimes forced on them or happened by circumstance and 421 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 1: by accident. And so they were forced into these positions. 422 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: I don't know that they had the luxury of saying 423 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 1: of getting married right and then saying I want to 424 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: be a mom someday. I think it just happened. And 425 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 1: I think that they they rocked it, they killed it. 426 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: Under their circumstances. They completely went above and beyond. Um 427 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 1: And and I am so lucky to be able to 428 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: sit here and say I am not a mom, but 429 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: I I one d look forward to motherhood. Yeah, that's 430 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,880 Speaker 1: an interesting like view, because that privilege, like that's definitely 431 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 1: something that we have. I think more than more than 432 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 1: even I mean, dare I say, but more than even 433 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: like our mother's you know, like I mean my mom. 434 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 1: I think that she's very career driven woman, and I 435 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 1: think having a child at the right time and all 436 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: of that, like was there was a little privilege that 437 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: maybe she was able to kind of experience, but definitely 438 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: not as much as like you and I are able 439 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: to experience. And with my mother, you know, being a 440 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 1: teenage mom, she's been a mom from her perspective. From 441 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 1: her perspective, she's been a mom all her life. Um, 442 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: she doesn't know any other life. Um, And so I 443 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:43,200 Speaker 1: just me being being able to enjoy my twenties as 444 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: a woman who's not a mom. That is one percent 445 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,239 Speaker 1: of luxury for for the women in my family. It 446 00:27:49,280 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: doesn't happen very often, you know, actually, because it's something 447 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 1: that just part can in my mind. Because you're from Hoboken, 448 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,920 Speaker 1: New Jersey, how is it like for you going back 449 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 1: there right now? With gentrification? Oh my gosh, I'm so 450 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 1: happy you asked that, Darlin, because a week ago, just 451 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:21,480 Speaker 1: a week ago, it was announced that my entire home 452 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:26,359 Speaker 1: is going to be replanned and redesigned, which in other 453 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:31,919 Speaker 1: terms means torn down and rebuilt. And it's heartbreaking. And 454 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,520 Speaker 1: so now more than ever, I feel this pressure to 455 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: document these stories because not only are family members of 456 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: mine dying and passing away, but but that projects that 457 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: city won't be there anymore. You know, Hopeboken is changing 458 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 1: and it's uh, I mean, gosh, I remember when you 459 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,479 Speaker 1: you did not go to Hoboken, like that was not 460 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: the place to go, just to the listeners can catch 461 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 1: up to like Hoboke. Hoboken is what I what I 462 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: like to call Hoboken in like the city of New Jersey, 463 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: like the New York City of New Jersey, but Hopeboken 464 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 1: is is a wonderful pocket and on New Jersey that 465 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: is right across Manhattan, which has helped, you know, people 466 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 1: migrate towards there because of the crazy expensive rent in Manhattan. 467 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: People have realized, oh, I can live and Hoboken and 468 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 1: it's just ten minutes fifteen minutes train ride right into 469 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 1: Manhattan on the Path train exactly, and the and the 470 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 1: little history geography. Yes, and the city is kind of 471 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: you know, rebuilding to accommodate working professionals who are you know, 472 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 1: migrating from New York or migrating from other places, and 473 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 1: so it's becoming a lot more expensive to live and um, 474 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: a little unrealistic for people in our community. So they're 475 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 1: they're they're paying out people in the projects to leave 476 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 1: and saying, hey, you have first days when we rebuild, 477 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: to come back. But there's no way that a lot 478 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 1: of these families will be able to afford what is 479 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 1: going to be rebuilt, and so they're essentially you know, 480 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,719 Speaker 1: moving them out of their homes. And I get it. 481 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: I'm on both sides. I don't want my city to 482 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 1: be torn down, but I also understand that there's evolution 483 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:25,040 Speaker 1: and there's UM. You know, there's there's UM. Their society. 484 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 1: You know, we we want to grow as a society. 485 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,239 Speaker 1: We want better buildings and there's more we want. We 486 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: want wealth, and we want tourism and we want you know, 487 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: we want these Like gentrification is not always an ugly thing, um, 488 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: but it is ugly for for a lot of a 489 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,200 Speaker 1: lot of the families that I'm close to, UM, and 490 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: also for listeners like I don't know Cake Boss is 491 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: out of Hoboken. That's like a good one. Um. Frank 492 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: Sinatra was born in Yeah, Frank Sinatra was born and 493 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: raised in Hoboken. UM. And I think even the first 494 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: baseball game ever was played in Hoboken. I love this 495 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 1: Hoboken fun facts. Yeah. I'm gonna represent UM for my 496 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:18,480 Speaker 1: city for sure. Welcome to BA. We have reached the 497 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 1: point of one of my favorite parts here on Mordanita 498 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 1: that we're just starting and getting into. But it's time 499 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 1: for some questions, some specific questions that I have for you, UM, 500 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 1: and I'm curious to hear what your answers are gonna 501 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: be on this. Hit me. First question, who's the most 502 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 1: famous person you have a picture within your phone? Oh 503 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 1: my gosh, Um, you know what's so great, I'm gonna 504 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 1: have to say Duel Santana from dip set. I'm going 505 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 1: to say Jue Well Santana, and I'm gonna tell you why. 506 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: I met him as an adult and he was my 507 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 1: childhood crush from age nine. So that is my most 508 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 1: prized photo in my phone right now. Yes, shout out 509 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: to Jewel Santana. I mean, that's pretty epic. Wait, I 510 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 1: have to you just send me that photo. I want 511 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 1: to see it. What did you say that was? I said, 512 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 1: that's pretty epic, Like as a New Yorker, that's pretty 513 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 1: It's like an epic person to have in your phone. So, like, 514 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: Matt props for that one. And I'm so crazy is 515 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: that the photo? Ok? The photo is so casual. It's 516 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: just like, oh, we're in the same room, what's up? 517 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 1: Like that's the best when you meet like when you 518 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 1: meet one of your like iconic people from your past 519 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: that you just listen to their music, like that would 520 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: be me and Britney Spears. Oh gosh, Britney was everything 521 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,440 Speaker 1: I was gonna say. I had a Britney Spears lunch box, 522 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 1: I had the Britney Spears pens. I was a major, 523 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 1: a huge Britney Spears fan, huge Britney Spears fan. So 524 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 1: happy she's free, so happy, she's living her best life 525 00:32:55,440 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: on Instagram. God bless, God bless. Okay, next question for you. 526 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: If you had to give up your favorite food or 527 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,840 Speaker 1: your favorite music, which would it be food? No question, 528 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 1: because my favorite foods are not healthy, ma'am, and so 529 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: um longevity, more music, longevity and more music. I will 530 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 1: be just fine. That would be a hard question for me. 531 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I think I would do 532 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: the same thing as you're as you're saying, because it's 533 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: like I eat, my favorite foods are not are no boy, 534 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 1: no right, not good everyday foods. Right. I went to UH. 535 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: I just came back from Colombia on a solo trip 536 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 1: and I ate so I saw that I ate so 537 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: much soccho And when I got home, I was like, man, 538 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: I just needed these talks. Yep, yep, listen up. I 539 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 1: love our I love our Latin food, but every day right. 540 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,959 Speaker 1: And I don't know, as we get older in age 541 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 1: to like all of the sodium, for example, it's just 542 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 1: not good for us. It's not it's not We got 543 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: to take care of ourselves while also enjoying our favorite foods. Definitely. Okay. 544 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: Third question and last question for you, what is the 545 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 1: one thing that reminds you most of home? However it 546 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 1: is that you define home? Um? Okay, that's a good one. 547 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 1: So it's music. It's music. Um. We have this tradition 548 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:33,240 Speaker 1: where we dance in my mother's living room to Hector 549 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 1: level M And I think that that is a tradition 550 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 1: that we have sort of maintained after my Auilla passed away, 551 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 1: and it is so special to me. So anytime a 552 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: particular song, a song comes on from like Hector Level 553 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,759 Speaker 1: or maybe Louis and Vique, it brings me back to 554 00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 1: not only you know, life of life with my grandmother 555 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:06,839 Speaker 1: in her house, but life in my in this new 556 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: life without my grandmother, UM, in my mother's house, and 557 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 1: we're really really trying to keep these traditions alive. Um. 558 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,879 Speaker 1: So that that's what reminds me of home. I could 559 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,880 Speaker 1: be anywhere in the world and if that song, you know, 560 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 1: one of those songs play, I am very very nostalgic, 561 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 1: and it's a good nostalgia because I'm thinking about I 562 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: don't know, that moment when my mom graduated from college 563 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 1: and we were all dancing in her living room and 564 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 1: I was twenty five years old. But I'm also thinking 565 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,520 Speaker 1: about when I was seven and my grandmother was helping 566 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: me get ready for the shower and she was playing 567 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,960 Speaker 1: music getting me excited to take a bath and get 568 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: ready for the day. I love that because, well, music, 569 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 1: music is like so important in our culture, and like 570 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 1: I think that we've our family has used music to 571 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,759 Speaker 1: survive and like to push through and to connect and 572 00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 1: come together. So I definitely feel you on that music 573 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:05,719 Speaker 1: on that music is home, um, especially especially hearing the 574 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 1: songs and hearing that story that you just said about 575 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,799 Speaker 1: like celebrating that moment with your mother, UM, and how 576 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,279 Speaker 1: that music can just transform you back to something like 577 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,480 Speaker 1: that and that feeling. Um, that's so beautiful and that's 578 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 1: that's really special. Goa. I want to say thank you 579 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,040 Speaker 1: so much for coming to Moranita. It's been such a 580 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,600 Speaker 1: pleasure talking to you, hearing your story, UM, speaking all 581 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:31,680 Speaker 1: the things on motherhood and our past. Um, it's been 582 00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 1: an absolute pleasure. UM. Thank you so so much for coming, Yes, 583 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: and thank you, thank you for providing the space. I 584 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,160 Speaker 1: love what you guys are doing. I look forward to 585 00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:44,720 Speaker 1: listening for future episodes and will will be in touch girl, absolutely, 586 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 1: and also for the listeners. Um, if you don't mind sharing, 587 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,680 Speaker 1: how can we continue following your journey? Are you on 588 00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: social media websites? Are you on Insta? Are you on Twitter? 589 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: Are you on Facebook? What's the how do we find you? Yes? 590 00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 1: I am on all social media platforms as Corvella. UM. 591 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:05,520 Speaker 1: I love pouring into my Instagram account more because I 592 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,239 Speaker 1: love just the opportunity we have there to like tell 593 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 1: stories visually. So UM, I'd love to connect with more 594 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,880 Speaker 1: people on Instagram. UM. And and Corvella, my name is 595 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,920 Speaker 1: so unique that I've been blessed to be able to 596 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,399 Speaker 1: just have handles and tags and email addresses that are 597 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 1: just Corvella. I love that. I feel the same way 598 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,680 Speaker 1: like Darylyn, like there's nobody nobody else has our names. 599 00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:33,360 Speaker 1: That's it exactly. UM. Thank you so much for spending 600 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 1: some time with us. Okay, girl, I'll talk to you soon. 601 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, goa thank you. Mon Anita is 602 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 1: a production of Sonato and partnership with I Heart Radios 603 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:52,000 Speaker 1: Michael podcast Network. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, 604 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,560 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast, or wherever 605 00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. Seven