WEBVTT - Leah Remini: Setting the Record Straight

0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.480
<v Speaker 1>Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the

0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the

0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:10.000
<v Speaker 1>Facebook watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and

0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:13.120
<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review

0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:24.119
<v Speaker 1>on Apple Podcasts. So yeah, I'm really looking forward to

0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:28.280
<v Speaker 1>to today's show. Um, we haven't talked in a long time.

0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:32.640
<v Speaker 1>She reached out to me, which was really huge of

0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:36.319
<v Speaker 1>her because I really don't I don't know if I'm

0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:43.880
<v Speaker 1>that big. Sometimes when wounds are still fresh, Um, it can.

0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:47.920
<v Speaker 1>It definitely can create tension. I'm really gonna have to

0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:51.200
<v Speaker 1>have my listening ears on and really just listen and

0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:58.200
<v Speaker 1>really understand her side versus being defensive. For years, it's

0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:00.560
<v Speaker 1>been rumored that I was a scientology is because I

0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:03.040
<v Speaker 1>took some courses at the church and was interested in

0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.920
<v Speaker 1>study Tech, one of the organization's teaching methods. I also

0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:09.720
<v Speaker 1>opened a school that used the study Tech, which added

0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:14.360
<v Speaker 1>to the speculation. Leah Remedy was a scientologist her whole life.

0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.280
<v Speaker 1>Our problem started when she included a story about a

0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:20.880
<v Speaker 1>party we both attended in her memoir. Her experience that

0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.160
<v Speaker 1>night was different than mine, and when asked about it

0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:29.119
<v Speaker 1>on Andy Cohen's Bravo show. I explained what I remembered

0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:31.440
<v Speaker 1>from that evening. I know she kind of made it

0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.959
<v Speaker 1>seem kind of weird, but it really wasn't. Leah had

0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:38.840
<v Speaker 1>issues with my response, and from there our private disagreement

0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:43.240
<v Speaker 1>became a public battle. We haven't talked in years, but

0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:45.640
<v Speaker 1>she's coming to the Red table so we can finally

0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:58.120
<v Speaker 1>hear each other out. Oh yeah, yellow and red, yellow

0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:02.400
<v Speaker 1>and boy, pretty think about the Lemony show today. We

0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:04.880
<v Speaker 1>got a minute, so we might as well talk. Here's

0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:10.880
<v Speaker 1>my position. People are suffering bad, you know. And when

0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I look at Leah, like whatever she experienced with the

0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:20.799
<v Speaker 1>Church of Scientology hurt her bad and hurt people, hurt people.

0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:26.040
<v Speaker 1>And she took a shot at us out of pain.

0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.280
<v Speaker 1>She was hurt and she started taking shots at us.

0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:34.480
<v Speaker 1>And I commend you, babe, for taking on these these

0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.680
<v Speaker 1>kinds of topics. But you know, I gotta give lea

0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.840
<v Speaker 1>promps because she opened the door. Yeah, you know, she

0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:47.440
<v Speaker 1>made the first move towards a reconciliation. So it's Leah here. Okay,

0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:59.880
<v Speaker 1>what sid I like your operation? Thank you for coming.

0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:03.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, my pleasure. You look gorgeous, you do,

0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:08.799
<v Speaker 1>and you always do you got that skin? Well, you know,

0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:17.080
<v Speaker 1>I know, I know, I really want to say I

0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:20.280
<v Speaker 1>really I want to start out by thanking you for

0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:25.639
<v Speaker 1>even in like for this. It says a lot to me,

0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:29.320
<v Speaker 1>and so it I come with that. I come with

0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.360
<v Speaker 1>this open heart, and I know that you invited me

0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:35.440
<v Speaker 1>with an open heart, so definitely, and this is actually

0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:39.440
<v Speaker 1>the first time that I'll actually be talking about my involvement,

0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:41.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, with the church or what have you. And

0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.560
<v Speaker 1>I want to say thank you to you first because

0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:49.680
<v Speaker 1>you actually opened the door for this. You did Okay, yeah,

0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I did with your communication with Dwayne. Just did you know,

0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:58.680
<v Speaker 1>get you guys up to speed. Dwayne Martin, who um

0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.880
<v Speaker 1>we're making reference to it now, happens to be a

0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:04.840
<v Speaker 1>mutual friend of Lee and I both. I remember the

0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:08.040
<v Speaker 1>first time I met you was twenty years ago, and

0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:13.760
<v Speaker 1>then we reconnected at Church of Scientology. I went off

0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:16.719
<v Speaker 1>and did my thing. You eventually went off and did

0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:21.480
<v Speaker 1>your thing, and then you wrote a book, and it

0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:25.240
<v Speaker 1>upset me because I didn't understand why we had to

0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.320
<v Speaker 1>be in your book, because you know, when we really

0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.040
<v Speaker 1>didn't have anything to do with this, and there were

0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:34.880
<v Speaker 1>headlines about Scientology and I didn't go seek at Tom's

0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.920
<v Speaker 1>and how you know, Will and I had participated and

0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:42.400
<v Speaker 1>I was hurt, but I never said anything but Jada,

0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:46.000
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't even considering that you would be hurt. Like

0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I literally, looking back on it, I didn't even consider

0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:53.400
<v Speaker 1>Jada and Will. I was going in hard on my rightness.

0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.920
<v Speaker 1>And then I looked at it and I said, you know,

0:04:56.040 --> 0:05:00.320
<v Speaker 1>what responsibility do I have? Can I take here for

0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:03.839
<v Speaker 1>upsetting somebody that I actually really care about? And I'm

0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.680
<v Speaker 1>sorry that I didn't consider you because I didn't. I

0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:10.039
<v Speaker 1>was I was so caught up and they I don't

0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:12.960
<v Speaker 1>want to cry. I was just caught up in that pain,

0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:18.480
<v Speaker 1>right and also the pain of others and the effects

0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:26.560
<v Speaker 1>that it had. And you know, I come from a world, Jada,

0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:31.480
<v Speaker 1>of of fighting, you know. And I don't know that

0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:36.960
<v Speaker 1>that was particularly your experience with scientology, but my world

0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:41.080
<v Speaker 1>fully indoctrinated as a child. There's a lot of anger

0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.680
<v Speaker 1>and there's a lot of fighting, and that is what

0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.480
<v Speaker 1>I was raised with. Just a lot of the world

0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:51.440
<v Speaker 1>is bad. Everyone who's not a scientologist is bad. Now,

0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.919
<v Speaker 1>what I do know for a fact is you really

0:05:55.960 --> 0:06:02.560
<v Speaker 1>didn't know Leah, because what we're taught is to act

0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:06.680
<v Speaker 1>a certain way around other celebrities. And when the thing

0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:11.240
<v Speaker 1>happened on on on Bravo, like I was floored. I

0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:15.159
<v Speaker 1>was really really like, wow, Jada is not only is

0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:20.760
<v Speaker 1>she in scientology, but now they sent Jada out right.

0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:24.320
<v Speaker 1>I guess that's that's the secret. That's Yeah, we just

0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:26.600
<v Speaker 1>really like each other. I'm sure you've been asked us

0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.600
<v Speaker 1>before because Leah Remedy in her book talked about like

0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.640
<v Speaker 1>a game of hide and Seek at your house with

0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:36.560
<v Speaker 1>Tom Cruise. It was Tom's house, it was Tom's house,

0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:38.960
<v Speaker 1>and you wanted to play hide and Seek with everybody,

0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.320
<v Speaker 1>but she didn't want to play or it didn't happen, right,

0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:48.160
<v Speaker 1>did you have you played to? This is when our

0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:52.359
<v Speaker 1>kids were really small, and Tom loved games. That was

0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.200
<v Speaker 1>the whole point of Tom was just fun like that.

0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:57.600
<v Speaker 1>So I know she kind of made it seem kind

0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.360
<v Speaker 1>of weird, but it really wasn't. It was just a

0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.560
<v Speaker 1>bunch of us goofing off with their kids and playing

0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.640
<v Speaker 1>silly games. There's always a backstory. There's always a backstory. Yeah, well,

0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:10.280
<v Speaker 1>I hope this has been a fun girl's trip to

0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.120
<v Speaker 1>the clubhouse. He doesn't tell you what he's going to

0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:16.440
<v Speaker 1>talk about he just throws stuff at you, you know.

0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:19.120
<v Speaker 1>And so when that came up, I was like, that's

0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.040
<v Speaker 1>not how I remember that night going, you know. And

0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I my producer told me that you felt like I

0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.360
<v Speaker 1>wasn't supportive of you. And I just want you to

0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:32.560
<v Speaker 1>know that you had basically created a situation for Will

0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:34.160
<v Speaker 1>and I now, and I didn't know that. I know.

0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.560
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that. I know, but I'm clear on

0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.320
<v Speaker 1>that now. So I'm just giving you this where I

0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:42.680
<v Speaker 1>was in that in that framework of why you might

0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.720
<v Speaker 1>have felt as if I didn't have your back, you

0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:48.840
<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying, because at that point, I'm like,

0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I gotta protect Will and I when the thing happened

0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.160
<v Speaker 1>on on on Bravo, And I should also tell you this,

0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:58.200
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know if you really do know this,

0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:03.480
<v Speaker 1>but scientology has policies called fair game, and that's too

0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:07.760
<v Speaker 1>discredit and attack anyone who's speaking out against some of

0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.240
<v Speaker 1>the abuses of scientology. But I was like, oh my god,

0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:14.080
<v Speaker 1>like she's even more in than I had thought, you know, so,

0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.680
<v Speaker 1>and I was wrong. So when I saw somebody had

0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.760
<v Speaker 1>tweeted me and said, why is Jada throwing shadey you.

0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:23.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, wait what So when I saw it,

0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:26.720
<v Speaker 1>I was hurt because like, oh, she's oh so she's

0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:31.680
<v Speaker 1>in she's fair gaming me. Fair game is a policy

0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:37.120
<v Speaker 1>in scientology that calls for the utter destruction of a

0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:42.640
<v Speaker 1>critic of scientology. So the thing to do there's there's

0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.200
<v Speaker 1>you get trained on how to do this. You first

0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.520
<v Speaker 1>deal with it with a laugh, you know, like it's boring,

0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:51.960
<v Speaker 1>it's not worth watching or not worth reading. And the

0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:55.720
<v Speaker 1>second thing is a discredit the facts. That's why I said,

0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.920
<v Speaker 1>and Jada is a scientologist, because there's no reason for

0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:03.360
<v Speaker 1>Jada to be doing that other than fair gaming. Yeah,

0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:06.319
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I want to apologize to you because

0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:09.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, I'd never just so you know, I wasn't

0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:14.600
<v Speaker 1>fair gaming you on Andy Cood but it was yeah,

0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:19.800
<v Speaker 1>but literally it was just like, Okay, that's not how

0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.320
<v Speaker 1>I remember that happening. I want to acknowledge that I

0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:26.160
<v Speaker 1>hurt your feelings, and that's the last thing I want

0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.280
<v Speaker 1>to do. I don't get any joy out of hurting people.

0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.520
<v Speaker 1>I really don't. And when I saw that you made

0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:37.760
<v Speaker 1>that statement, I was like, yeah, I felt the need

0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:42.720
<v Speaker 1>to respond to something that I thought was untrue. And

0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:46.520
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't attack and and listen, this is why it's

0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:50.520
<v Speaker 1>so important just to have communication because this was just

0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:53.280
<v Speaker 1>a big gass misunderstanding because you saw me at the

0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.840
<v Speaker 1>Scientology Center, will and I always being accused of being

0:09:57.000 --> 0:10:00.679
<v Speaker 1>scientologists in this and being that, and what's rap I'm like,

0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:05.360
<v Speaker 1>And the crazy thing is is that that is literally

0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:09.280
<v Speaker 1>if we've walked into my library right now. Like, I

0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:12.320
<v Speaker 1>love religion because I grew up in the Ethical Society.

0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:15.160
<v Speaker 1>So my grandmother was like, You're gonna learn all the

0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.160
<v Speaker 1>religious and then you got to decide which one you

0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:21.920
<v Speaker 1>want to practice that So for me, all religions have

0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.280
<v Speaker 1>been my home, which is why I didn't have a

0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:27.400
<v Speaker 1>problem going to the Church of Scientology and saying I'm

0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:29.520
<v Speaker 1>not a scientologist. I want to just be here and

0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:32.800
<v Speaker 1>see what you have to offer, because that was my life.

0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:35.280
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm used to, you know what I mean. So,

0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:41.120
<v Speaker 1>but I totally see with in your shoes, your reality,

0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:45.560
<v Speaker 1>how you could see me the way that you did, right. Yeah,

0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.839
<v Speaker 1>I always took the position that I'm here at the

0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:52.599
<v Speaker 1>Scientology Center to learn what I want to learn, and

0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:55.240
<v Speaker 1>I have no interest in being a scientologist. And one

0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.360
<v Speaker 1>of the things that I really prided myself in was

0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:03.000
<v Speaker 1>to be able to be amongst that group of scientologists

0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.960
<v Speaker 1>and still hold my own in regards to no, no, no, no,

0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.760
<v Speaker 1>you can't tell me that I'm this because I've read

0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.640
<v Speaker 1>past this page. No no, no no, I'll tell you

0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.400
<v Speaker 1>if I decided to do that. And you were allowed

0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.080
<v Speaker 1>to do that because oh yeah, who you are and

0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:24.960
<v Speaker 1>who your husband is, and regardless of what was being

0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:29.000
<v Speaker 1>presented to you from me as a friend, you were

0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:33.559
<v Speaker 1>seeing a side of me that wasn't a authentic because

0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 1>my job was to always be a perfect person in

0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:42.040
<v Speaker 1>front of you or any celebrity, to solely get you

0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:48.320
<v Speaker 1>into scientology, fully indoctrinated, fully on board, and deserting any

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:52.360
<v Speaker 1>other beliefs or or systems of learning. If you know,

0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:55.680
<v Speaker 1>you cannot dabble in scientologist. I just never got any

0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.440
<v Speaker 1>of that, Like, of course you wouldn't. Yeah, I never,

0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:03.000
<v Speaker 1>of course you wouldn't. First of all, your Jada, that's

0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:06.360
<v Speaker 1>number one on its own. Number two. You're married to Will,

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 1>So there's a certain protocol and there's certain things you

0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:13.640
<v Speaker 1>would not see. You would not be privy too. So

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:18.160
<v Speaker 1>when I saw you, when we became friendly, I was like,

0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:24.920
<v Speaker 1>here's one person. Here's this ballsy, badass chick who is

0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:29.000
<v Speaker 1>a lover but also well, you know, put you in

0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:33.560
<v Speaker 1>your place. Then the wedding, oh yeah, we had it

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.520
<v Speaker 1>was the wedding Tom and Kate's wedding, right, so the

0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:40.720
<v Speaker 1>wedding together, and I'm like tired. I have a newborn baby,

0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 1>so I'm not really excited about sitting down to a

0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.240
<v Speaker 1>twenty course meal. But I can't say any of that.

0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:52.520
<v Speaker 1>If I say anything that's critical, I would have gotten

0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.760
<v Speaker 1>my ass handed to me had I been critical of

0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:58.080
<v Speaker 1>anything that was happening at that wedding. And I have

0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 1>people listening to everything that I'm saying. After the wedding, Yeah,

0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I get sent to Florida, Okay for interrogation for three

0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:12.559
<v Speaker 1>months because I was saying things at the wedding like

0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:16.600
<v Speaker 1>where is Shelley Scavenge, the leader's wife. I when I

0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:18.960
<v Speaker 1>got home to l A, I had a stack of

0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:24.160
<v Speaker 1>reports written on me, internal reports from scientologists saying that

0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.000
<v Speaker 1>I was this at the wedding. I was that. I

0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:28.079
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh my god, this is what's happening. What

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:29.920
<v Speaker 1>why am I getting all these? And I know I

0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:33.400
<v Speaker 1>remember that because I do remember when I got home

0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.560
<v Speaker 1>and oh that was happening. I was like, you know

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:40.560
<v Speaker 1>what good for Leah? No, really like the fact that

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 1>where is your friend? Where is she? You know? And

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.400
<v Speaker 1>I had a lot of respect for the fact that

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.640
<v Speaker 1>you would not give up on that question. Well it's

0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:55.559
<v Speaker 1>still not answered today, despite me hiring a lawyer, and

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 1>that lawyer through the Public Information Act trying to get information,

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.320
<v Speaker 1>we are still stop being stone wall today about where

0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 1>is Shelley Scavenge, the leader's wife? I guess And three months,

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:08.679
<v Speaker 1>this is when I'm on a hiatus for King of

0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Queens and I spend my time literally being derogated for

0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:16.280
<v Speaker 1>three months. What are your evil intentions towards David Mims Scavenge?

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:20.160
<v Speaker 1>What are your even towards scientology? Like battering me for

0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:24.920
<v Speaker 1>three months and until I said I didn't see the

0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:28.520
<v Speaker 1>things that I said I saw. I'm sorry, the wife

0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:32.200
<v Speaker 1>is not missing. Was I able to leave? And then

0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 1>I went back to work. But I was interrogated for years,

0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:42.400
<v Speaker 1>for years and punished for years, and it took me

0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.880
<v Speaker 1>six years to extract myself out of it. And then

0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:47.920
<v Speaker 1>I wrote the book got it? And then you wrote

0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:54.880
<v Speaker 1>the book. Okay, yeah, Leah it's such a trip. So

0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.800
<v Speaker 1>now in listening to your experience and everything that you

0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:03.480
<v Speaker 1>went through, I totally understand how we got into that clash,

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:09.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, And it's just it's just showing me over

0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:15.120
<v Speaker 1>and over again at that how kindness is always the

0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 1>way because you don't know what people are going through period.

0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:25.360
<v Speaker 1>And I really truly deeply apologize. I should have thought

0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:29.600
<v Speaker 1>about the names in the book. I should have thought

0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.560
<v Speaker 1>about what that meant for you guys, and I didn't.

0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:37.360
<v Speaker 1>It's okay, I love you anyway, and I love you anyway. Yeah.

0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.240
<v Speaker 1>So the other thing that I'm learning from this is

0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:43.520
<v Speaker 1>just having the courage to show that vulnerability. It's not

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 1>easy because when you do, especially as women, you know,

0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.480
<v Speaker 1>we're we need to stit together. We don't see a

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:56.040
<v Speaker 1>whole lot of that, you know, publicly. You know, both

0:15:56.080 --> 0:16:02.160
<v Speaker 1>of us are strong freaking warriors, you know, and it

0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:07.760
<v Speaker 1>takes a little softness and gentleness to to just lay

0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:13.280
<v Speaker 1>it down. And the moment, the moment Dwayne Martin said

0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:15.280
<v Speaker 1>to me that you reached out to him, I was like,

0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna grab this moment. Thank you, But it was you.

0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:22.280
<v Speaker 1>Do you know that you were really such a huge

0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:26.160
<v Speaker 1>person in this because I don't think I would have

0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:32.120
<v Speaker 1>done that, but you did, and that is that's huge.

0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm you know, damn near fifty kind of feeling like

0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:40.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm just for the first time really finding out who

0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.880
<v Speaker 1>I really am as opposed to what has been taught

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.160
<v Speaker 1>to me. It's even just being a mom now because

0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:49.400
<v Speaker 1>my daughter is now the most important thing. You know,

0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Well you hope you also learned I'm selfish as all hell,

0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:56.160
<v Speaker 1>and I realized that a lot. Okay, Like even when

0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:57.920
<v Speaker 1>she's talking to me at the end of day, I'm like,

0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 1>is she still like she's just talking at me, like

0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:05.320
<v Speaker 1>like it's a run on sentence like, and I'm like,

0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.879
<v Speaker 1>isn't that amazing? Right? You just got me out of

0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:13.000
<v Speaker 1>my self absorbed little world that I'm right, And there's

0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:16.119
<v Speaker 1>such a gift in that way. Absolutely. I I have

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:18.640
<v Speaker 1>to tell you, my daughter has taught me so much.

0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.560
<v Speaker 1>And I really had to learn through my kids how

0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:26.800
<v Speaker 1>to access my more vulnerable side, you know, because they

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 1>happen to be super affectionate kids and I didn't grow

0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:34.640
<v Speaker 1>up that way, you know, And so my journey has

0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:40.160
<v Speaker 1>been through my children to get to um just that gooey,

0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:46.800
<v Speaker 1>vulnerable soft, you know, because how we both have grown up.

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:51.240
<v Speaker 1>I can see that you've had some tough things to

0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.360
<v Speaker 1>deal with, and I know you have to, and so

0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 1>it creates that kind of hard exterior. I realized their

0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:00.000
<v Speaker 1>therapy that I have to deal with the paint right right,

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.439
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't allowed to deal with pain. Right in scientology.

0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:06.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm dealing now for the first time in my life

0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:10.240
<v Speaker 1>and therapy that I do have pain from not having

0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.840
<v Speaker 1>a father, but I've never dealt with the pain of him.

0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:15.359
<v Speaker 1>I just pushed it aside. I go, well, that's just

0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:18.800
<v Speaker 1>a bad father. Many people have bad fathers, but I

0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:22.280
<v Speaker 1>never really saw that that might be dictating how I

0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:26.720
<v Speaker 1>look at men, how I treat men. There's an argument

0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:30.280
<v Speaker 1>because I've had to deal with my father issues in

0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:34.720
<v Speaker 1>in in that way of just not bringing the stuff

0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:38.600
<v Speaker 1>that I went through with my father into my relationship

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:43.040
<v Speaker 1>with Will or my sons. You know, So I totally

0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:45.040
<v Speaker 1>hear you on that. Yeah, it's a lot of that.

0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:48.920
<v Speaker 1>It's dealing with that childhood trauma that I never really

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:53.320
<v Speaker 1>dealt with, and being ripped from my home and my

0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:57.840
<v Speaker 1>life and going into scientology and I have, of course,

0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:01.800
<v Speaker 1>I fight. I had to because I didn't have somebody fighting.

0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.359
<v Speaker 1>And that's what I'm starting to learn. You don't need

0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.000
<v Speaker 1>to fight every fight, Leah, because I've not had third

0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.040
<v Speaker 1>seasons of shows because I was climbing over a table

0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.080
<v Speaker 1>in a boardroom going, I will punch you when you're

0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:19.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't give it about the show. And I'm proud

0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.800
<v Speaker 1>of that side of myself because I don't put up

0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:25.399
<v Speaker 1>a boat this business. But I was, I said, I

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:27.679
<v Speaker 1>don't actually like that side of me. I like the

0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:30.840
<v Speaker 1>intention behind it, but I don't like the way I'm

0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:34.160
<v Speaker 1>coming at it like a fighter. Got it. I don't

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.880
<v Speaker 1>mind being it, but not in a damn business meeting.

0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:41.880
<v Speaker 1>I told it. You know what, Leah, I so good.

0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:45.520
<v Speaker 1>It is the little razor inside. Yes. When I turned forty,

0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:49.160
<v Speaker 1>I had a just a complete out of midlife crisis,

0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:53.600
<v Speaker 1>like everything in my life was just upside down, and

0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:55.400
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm ready to take off the vest

0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:58.360
<v Speaker 1>with the explosives because literally that's how I had been

0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:01.320
<v Speaker 1>walking around all my life, like say something else, I'll

0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:05.280
<v Speaker 1>blow us all the Exactly. I have the same mentality,

0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:08.639
<v Speaker 1>and it's it's it's from all that pain, yes, and

0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:11.080
<v Speaker 1>it's just that little girl in us that's raging, and

0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:14.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to get past the moment when

0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 1>it happens. And so with my therapist, she said, you're

0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:21.800
<v Speaker 1>missing something. You just need to find out what you're missing,

0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:26.119
<v Speaker 1>just in those moments. Just ask yourself or ask the

0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:31.399
<v Speaker 1>person that's saying these things or antagonizing you. I'm sorry,

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.119
<v Speaker 1>what are we missing here? What do you think? I

0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:38.879
<v Speaker 1>don't understand. That's lesson. It's a good lesson because I

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:43.720
<v Speaker 1>will definitely say you showed me that today, like I

0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:49.240
<v Speaker 1>totally I missed it. I missed her too. It's a

0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:51.760
<v Speaker 1>beautiful thing, you know. And I say, that's just never

0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:54.639
<v Speaker 1>too late, you know, for friends, for families. You know,

0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:58.160
<v Speaker 1>it's just never too late to heal Leah. Yes, man,

0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:01.040
<v Speaker 1>thank you, thank you, thank you. I want to hug

0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:09.040
<v Speaker 1>you back. This is great. Yeah, thank you. On our

0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:14.040
<v Speaker 1>next red Table talk, why black women and white women

0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:18.840
<v Speaker 1>have such a difficult time women of color Sometimes I

0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:20.440
<v Speaker 1>feel like they don't want to be my friend. I'm

0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:24.720
<v Speaker 1>not interested. Oh, get over the idea that you are white.

0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:31.680
<v Speaker 1>There's one race, you know what. You need to shut up? Well,

0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:36.800
<v Speaker 1>I saw you, sorry, I saw you cry in there crying.

0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:46.280
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna that's what happens if you get old. It's

0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:49.720
<v Speaker 1>so good to see and I am tired. I really

0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:54.639
<v Speaker 1>didn't mean to join the red table Talk family and

0:21:54.680 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 1>become a part of the conversation. Follow us at facebook

0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:01.119
<v Speaker 1>dot com slash red table talk. Thanks for listening to

0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:04.920
<v Speaker 1>this episode of Red Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook, Watch,

0:22:05.119 --> 0:22:07.399
<v Speaker 1>Westbrook Audio, and I Heart Radio.