1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to the 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: Velvet Edge podcast. I have talked openly about the battle 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: that I have with anxiety. Mine often comes in the 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: form of uncontrollable insomnia or sometimes even panic attacks. I 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: think right now, of any time during this coronavirus pandemic, 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: there are many people facing their battles with anxiety at 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,759 Speaker 1: even higher rates. So this week I wanted to get 8 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: some help and tools for all of us around the 9 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: topic of anxiety. My guest is licensed professional counselor and 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: author of the book Conquer Anxiety in ten Weeks, Jesse Jensen. 11 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: Jesse and I talked through the different types of anxiety 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: and why many women specifically are facing tons of anxiety 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: in today's society. Jesse also broke down some different tools 14 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: and fixes for facing your anxiety head on and how 15 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: to keep these practices in place in tough times like 16 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,959 Speaker 1: we are all facing right now. Here's our conversation. So 17 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: I think it's pretty common to hear people today talking 18 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: about anxiety. Seems just like a common topic. Do you 19 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: think anxiety is actually more prevalent today or is it 20 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: just talked about more openly than it was in the past. Yeah, 21 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: that's a really good question. Um. I don't think anyone 22 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: has a great answer with that. Um. I think that absolutely, 23 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: people are being more open about it and talking about 24 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: it a lot more, um So that definitely could impact that. 25 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: But also there's a lot more things going on in 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: our lives today that maybe there wasn't in the past 27 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: that could be contributing to more anxiety. So it's hard 28 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: to say for sure, but um, I think there could 29 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: be a little bit of both kind of happening there. 30 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: Do you mean that we're just so overspar, just so 31 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: spread thin, and we have so much more pressure than 32 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: maybe they did in the past. It does seem like 33 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: people back in the day lived a much simpler life, 34 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: doesn't it. It does? It sounds nice sometimes, right, I 35 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: guess I kind of getting a taste of that right 36 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: now on this isolation period. Absolutely, rely, Absolutely, And it's 37 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: interesting that even the isolation is causing a lot of 38 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: anxiety to um increase. But yeah, I think we are 39 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: being pulled in so many directions nowadays. It seems like, 40 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: um so, I think that there has a lot to 41 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: do with our anxiety. I mean, we have preussures on 42 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: us all over. Um so you're, you know, many of 43 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: us are maybe mothers and working, and so you're trying 44 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,119 Speaker 1: to balance how how am I being a good mom 45 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: and being attentive to my kids, But I still have 46 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: this full time job, and I need to make enough 47 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,839 Speaker 1: funny to also support this family. And we have all 48 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: these different roles that we're playing right now. So absolutely, 49 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: I would say that we're spread a little bit more 50 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: sin than or yeah, than maybe we used to be. 51 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: This is a long paragraph from your book, but I 52 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: loved what you said about anxiety and women in today's society. 53 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 1: This is what your book addresses specifically, but I thought 54 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: this was so spottle on I have to read it. 55 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: It says women should really be described as today's modern 56 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: superheroes because they continue to have more and more expectation 57 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: in their life. Women are quote supposed to be skinny, 58 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: have flawless skin, have long thick hair, be sexy yet classy, 59 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: and have all the best clothes and accessories. Women are 60 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 1: also supposed to work full time, be excellent in their careers, 61 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,799 Speaker 1: make enough money to support a family, all while fighting 62 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: against their gendered stereotypes. Women are supposed to continue to 63 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: be the primary caretaker for their children and make sure 64 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,919 Speaker 1: they are using all the safe products, all the safe foods, 65 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: and the correct amount of discipline. Women are supposed to 66 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: be the primary caretaker of the home and make sure 67 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: it always looks like people don't actually live there, that 68 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: it's supposed that it's the most up to date in 69 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: stylish decor, and that the best homemade food is always cooking. 70 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: Women are also supposed to be the part the best 71 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: partners by always being attentive, wanting to have sex at 72 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: least once a week, and be able to ask for 73 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: help without being naggy. Women are also supposed to find 74 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: time for themselves but taking long hot baths, socializing with 75 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: their friends, exercising a minimum of three weeks three days 76 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: a week, reading, and maintaining their health. And we wonder 77 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: why anxiety is affecting so many women? Where? Right? That? 78 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:17,359 Speaker 1: I was like right, so right, and so you know 79 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,840 Speaker 1: a lot of the book comes like from my own experiences, right, 80 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: So these are of course things that I feel, um, 81 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: And you know, it's very interesting I think how so 82 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 1: many women can also relate to this paragraph like this 83 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: is women everywhere? Right? It summed it up. I think 84 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: that really summed it up for me specifically. And you know, 85 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: the thing that I think is so interesting is we 86 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: don't even think about that, We don't talk about that. 87 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: We just do that and then wonder why we're so 88 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: stressed out all the time and have so much anxiety 89 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: and can't sleep at night. Absolutely, and you know, many 90 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: women don't even realize that what they're struggling with is 91 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: actually anxiety disorder. Yes, okay, so you mentioned that you 92 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: came to a lot of these conclusions because of your 93 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 1: own journey with anxiety. Can you tell us a little 94 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: bit about that. Yeah? Sure, um. Absolutely. One of the 95 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 1: reasons that in my professional life, I guess that I 96 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: like working with women um and anxiety so much is 97 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: just because I've experienced anxiety since I can remember. I 98 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,839 Speaker 1: mean like a little girl. Um, I remember like laying 99 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: in a top bunk with my sister and you know, 100 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: asking her if the house was going to burn down. Um, 101 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,920 Speaker 1: I think that you know, someone was going to kidnap 102 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: me or whatever that was. I remember having stomach aches 103 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,719 Speaker 1: a lot, and we didn't really know why. UM, so 104 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety even as a kid, But at 105 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 1: that time we didn't really realize, like you know, this 106 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 1: was anxiety. It was just like normal, This is just 107 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,039 Speaker 1: how Jesse is, right, so, you know. So we didn't 108 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: really pick up on that until much later in my 109 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: life when I was in college and started learning more 110 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: about psychology and anxiety, and then even more specifically when 111 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: I got to my master's program. Um, those programs are 112 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,799 Speaker 1: the best because you learn a ton but you're also 113 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 1: required to do like a ton of self reflection. It's 114 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: like your own kind of therapy. So I think I 115 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: learned a lot about obviously anxiety and how to treat it, 116 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 1: but also how does this actually affect my life and 117 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 1: what does it look like for me? Um? And so yeah, absolutely, 118 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: there's worries that are different, you know, every day. It's 119 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: not like there's one specific worry all the time. It seems, 120 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: you know that I'm a little bit older and have kids. 121 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: I would say a lot of my worries tend to 122 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: be around my kids, making sure they're okay and you know, 123 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: bad things are going to happen. So that's where my 124 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: anxiety has kind of, I think evolved. But at this 125 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: point in my life it doesn't get in the way 126 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: of me doing my everyday things. I'm able to manage 127 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: my anxiety in a pretty healthy way at this point. 128 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: So that's a benefit that I've learned kind of through 129 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: my schooling and working with it so much. Yeah, it's 130 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: interesting because you did school and you are a therapist, 131 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: and so you I would think that you would be 132 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: the one saying, now you need to go to therapy 133 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: every week and you need to be doing this, But 134 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: actually in this book, you you mentioned that you really 135 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: want to give people the tools so that they can 136 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: take that into their real life and they're not just 137 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: having to sit in a therapy session every week without 138 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: making any sort of strides towards relief from this anxiety. Right. Yeah, 139 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: So yeah, I do you know, I counsel people four 140 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: days a week, and I would say a majority of 141 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: these people that I'm doing therapy with having anxiety. And 142 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,679 Speaker 1: I think going to see a counselor is a great, 143 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: great thing and can have so many benefits. But the 144 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,679 Speaker 1: reality is, just like what we were talking about women 145 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: in today's society, the reality is is that we don't 146 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: all have the time, money, or resources to get into 147 00:07:54,920 --> 00:08:00,040 Speaker 1: see our therapist, right right, So I really wanted to 148 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 1: create something where women who weren't having that experience could 149 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: still have a relatable way, in an easy way to 150 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: kind of get treatment and help as many women as 151 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: I possibly could. So, so the book is called Conquer 152 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: Anxiety in ten Weeks. It's a guide book for overwhelmed 153 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: women who dared to be fearless, which I love that statement. 154 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: Can you give us a summary of what this book is. Yeah, 155 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: So the book kind of is broken up into sections. UM. 156 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: When I was thinking about this book and wanting to 157 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: write it, UM, I wanted it to be um as 158 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: close to what I could do in therapy, like book 159 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: version of that, right, So I broke it up into 160 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,839 Speaker 1: sections week by weeks. So the beginning of the book 161 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,719 Speaker 1: just talks a lot about education about what anxiety is 162 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: and where that comes from and how it affects women today. 163 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: But then it goes through and talks about ten different weeks. 164 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: At each week you're learning a new skill, and at 165 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: the end of that chapter you have an activity that 166 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: you're supposed to be practicing for that week. UM. And 167 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: so the book is meant to be read in chronological order, 168 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,559 Speaker 1: so not to be like skipping around UM. And it's 169 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: also meant for you to take your time, so sometimes 170 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: you might grasp a week like sooner or it's easier 171 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: for you than maybe a different week, But I still 172 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: don't want you to jump ahead that you're still just 173 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: taking that full week to really understand that skill so 174 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: that you can apply it to your life without needing 175 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: the book. That makes total sense. And I told you 176 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: just before we started this podcast. But I don't want 177 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: to go through all the details of the books because 178 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 1: because I just think it's a great read that for 179 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: anyone who's struggling with anxiety to just go out and 180 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,719 Speaker 1: get it. But I do want to touch on some 181 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: of what you just mentioned and kind of just why 182 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: this method works. So let's just talk through Like the 183 00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: first chapter, for instance, is about educating yourself about an anxiety, 184 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: which I think I am a person who I like 185 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: to read about this stuff a lot, so I just 186 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: would have thought that was normal. But do a lot 187 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: of people not even really understand what anxiety is? Yeah? Yes, Um, 188 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: there are plenty of people that I'm seeing in my office, 189 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: UM that like to me either describing like exactly what 190 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: an anxiety disorder might look like, and they have no 191 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: idea that that's what they're experiencing. Um. And also there 192 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: are you know, there's a lot of different types of 193 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: anxiety disorders. But the other thing that I see too 194 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: is that people will come in and they'll they'll be 195 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: almost scared to tell me stuff because they think that 196 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to think, you know, they're quote unquote crazy, 197 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: or that I'm going to have to admit him to 198 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: a hospital, or I'm going to say that they're not 199 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 1: fit to have their kids. And then it's like the 200 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: more we start talking about these things, they're like, oh 201 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:58,679 Speaker 1: my gosh, Jesse, this is normal. Yeah, this is anxiety, 202 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: and you know, maybe thick anxiety disorders or whatever. But yeah, absolutely, 203 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 1: there are a lot of people that don't even realize 204 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: that what they're struggling with is actually anxiety. Well, you 205 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: mentioned two main anxiety disorders in the book, right, can 206 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: you talk through those? Yeah? So this so why I 207 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: specify in this book that there's these two anxiety disorders, 208 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 1: generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder is because there 209 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: are more appropriate UM treatment methods for say things like 210 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: o c D or trauma like PTSD related things. Um, 211 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: So this book is really really geared more towards the 212 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:41,559 Speaker 1: generalized anxiety and the socialized anxiety disorder, philth you want 213 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: I can go through and just kind of talk to 214 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: you a little bit about you know, as a clinician, 215 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: what do we look for when we're diagnosing these things. Yeah, 216 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: I think that would be helpful because I'm sure a 217 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: lot of people listening might be like the people who 218 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: walk into your office and they have all these symptoms 219 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: that they just don't understand that that is a normal 220 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: thing and that's just anxiety, right. Yes, So, um, when 221 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: clinicians you come into a clinician's office, they are looking 222 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,839 Speaker 1: for specific criteria that you might be talking about that 223 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,559 Speaker 1: would be able to kind of give you a diagnosis 224 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,839 Speaker 1: of an anxiety disorder. So, for generalized anxiety disorder, what 225 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 1: we're looking for is that we have excessive and uncontrollable 226 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: worries about a lot of different events or areas in 227 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: your life that they may be feeling restless or on edge, 228 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 1: maybe feeling fatigued, have difficulty concentrating, experiencing irritability, muscle tension, 229 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 1: and sleep disturbances. So it doesn't have to be all 230 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: of those things, but um, if you're experiencing at least 231 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: three or more of those kind of symptoms, and this 232 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: is happening more often than not, You're probably struggling with 233 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: an anxiety disorder. So I thought that was interesting, the 234 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: part about UM not being able to concentrate, because I 235 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 1: think in some cases I associate my anxiety and I've 236 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 1: dealt with anxiety from is my life as well. But 237 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: with that like heavy heartbeat or like with a panic 238 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: when I can't go to sleep at night, those kind 239 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: of feelings, but that inability to concentrate, sometimes I'm just like, 240 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? Like why can't I get my 241 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: work done? Or why are the why is this taking 242 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 1: me so long? Or why can't I remember remember my 243 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: to do list? And what you say in the book 244 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: is that can often be associated with high anxiety. Yes, 245 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: it can and can often look like other disorders, like 246 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 1: for example, like xactly, I get that a lot like 247 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: I'm struggling with a d h D and come to 248 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: find out it's probably a lot more of anxiety related 249 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:43,959 Speaker 1: things because absolutely UM lack of concentration and memory can 250 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: be affected by anxiety. So interesting, Okay, so then what's 251 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: the other the other anxiety disorder you mentioned? Yeah, so 252 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,839 Speaker 1: then the other anxiety disorder that the book mentions is 253 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: a social anxiety disorder. So social anxiety disorder UM is 254 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 1: revolved obviously and more around social situations. UM. They used 255 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: to call us or another name for it would be 256 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: like a social phobia. UM. So it's when an individual's 257 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: experiencing high levels of anxiety in social situations where specifically 258 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: they will be exposed to like possible scrutiny by others. Um. 259 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 1: The biggest fear with the social anxiety disorder is that 260 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to be viewed in a way that's going 261 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: to negatively impact me or embarrass me. I'm going to 262 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 1: say something or do something stupid or look silly or 263 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: in some way be negatively UM viewed by someone and 264 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: ultimately possibly rejected by these people. Do you often see 265 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 1: them happening together or that people suffer from both disorders 266 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:49,240 Speaker 1: or is it more separate? UM? I think it could 267 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: be either. UM. I don't know that I necessarily see 268 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: them more together or not together, but you they certainly 269 00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: can be co occurring. Okay. Interesting. So once you educate yourself, 270 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: you talk about the biggest key being just acceptance, and 271 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: I think that's I mean, that's the biggest key to 272 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: a lot of life, right, but why is acceptance of 273 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: just accepting your reality and all of in the current 274 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 1: moment and all of those feelings. Why is that so important? Yeah, 275 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: that's a great question because I think when I start like, okay, 276 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 1: so that's two of the book and people are kind 277 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 1: of like, what, like, this is what I'm doing too, 278 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna be jumping into all these things. 279 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: But I really kind of argue that probably acceptance is 280 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 1: one of the most important skills that you can learn 281 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 1: with your anxiety, because if we can't first accept what 282 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: it is that we're struggling with and dealing with it, 283 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: we can't see it clearly. Right. We tend to them 284 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: be like, no, that's not anxiety, or I'm fine, or 285 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: no I don't need anything. Right. So if we don't 286 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 1: first kind of accept and say, oh, I might be 287 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 1: struggling with anxiety and you know, I'm actually not doing okay, 288 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: we don't actually start looking at the steps that we 289 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: need and to take in order to start managing in 290 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 1: a healthy way. So go ahead and sorry, no, yeah, 291 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, so, that's why I feel 292 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 1: like the anxiety of the acceptance piece is so so important. Yeah, 293 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: why is that our nature to want to be like no, fine, 294 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: or this is an exactly what what makes acceptance so hard, 295 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: I think because we have a lot of misconceptions about 296 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: what acceptance means. So acceptance only means that we are 297 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 1: seeing what's happening in this current moment and realizing that, hey, 298 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 1: I don't have a ton of control over this right now. 299 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 1: It just is what it is. It's neither good nor bad. 300 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: But when you say that to someone, acceptance has all 301 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: these negative terms that go with it, like you're giving up, 302 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: or you're weak, or what you're experiencing is okay, or 303 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: maybe what someone did you was okay. So we have 304 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: maybe these negative connotations to that word acceptance that it 305 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: means if I accept this, then there's something wrong with me, 306 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: right When in reality, what you say in the book 307 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: is acceptance means accepting reality in the current moment. That's 308 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,159 Speaker 1: it just as it is. This is what's happening. You 309 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: don't have to like it, but this is what's happening exactly. 310 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: I think that's such a big part of our society that, 311 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: I mean, I do this. I'm very guilty of this too. 312 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: But we don't want life to be painful, right, so 313 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: it's it's hard, I think. I know for me, I 314 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 1: can only speak for myself, but I want to do 315 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:39,160 Speaker 1: anything I can to avoid pain in most cases. And 316 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 1: then and that's just not realistic because there are things 317 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: that are going to happen in our life if you're 318 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: actually living life, that are going to be painful, and 319 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 1: to try to wish it away it's just really unrealistic. 320 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 1: But that's kind of your whole point in this process, 321 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: and especially the acceptance piece, is that you can learn 322 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,479 Speaker 1: tools to help you get through those painful, inevitable moments 323 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 1: in life. Yes, absolutely, And it makes sense because when 324 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 1: we're being hurt or like, anxiety is service. So if 325 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,360 Speaker 1: you feel like we're in danger in some way, even 326 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: if it's just perceived fear, our reaction is protection, right, So, 327 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: and like to avoid and like I shouldn't feel that way, 328 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: so we want to kind of like avoid that. But yeah, 329 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: the reality is that life is not meant to be 330 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: pain free and that actually a lot of experiences in 331 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: life require anxiety, and that anxiety is actually the very 332 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 1: healthy response to that situation, right. I know, for me, 333 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 1: the hard thing is is like if you've been through 334 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: something painful, you're this is what I say to myself, 335 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: like haven't had enough yet? Like I feel like in 336 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,160 Speaker 1: some ways I've had There's been situations where I'm like, yep, 337 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 1: I'm like done with pain now, you know. Yeah, but 338 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 1: that actually produces a lot more anxiety when I'm trying 339 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: to live life because it's it's just completely unrealistic. So 340 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,679 Speaker 1: after you talk about the acceptance piece, you go into 341 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: my mindfulness. Why is this important? I found this chapter 342 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: very very interesting. Oh, um, I I love mindfulness personally. Um. 343 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: I think mindfulness is just a great tool and skill 344 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 1: to learn just for our daily lives. So just practicing 345 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 1: mindfulness once a day, even when you're not feeling anxious, 346 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: just help ground and kind of read juvenated us is 347 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: such a good thing. Um. But specifically when treating anxiety, 348 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: mindfulness is so great because, for one, if we can 349 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: approach a situation mindfully, staying in this current moment and 350 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: not projecting into the future of all these terrible things 351 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: that are going to happen. But if we can stay mindfully, 352 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 1: we can see the path and like what we need 353 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:52,159 Speaker 1: to get better through that, um. And also like the 354 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:56,959 Speaker 1: key to mindfulness is again that I'm purposely staying present 355 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: in the here and now with awareness on like what's 356 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 1: going on around me and within me. So, if you 357 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,680 Speaker 1: take that definition of mindfulness, anxiety is the exact opposite 358 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 1: of mindfulness. Right. So when I ask people, typically when 359 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 1: you're experiencing anxiety, are your thoughts past, present, or future oriented? 360 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: Most of the time I'm getting past in future right, 361 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 1: So not very often are we ever experiencing anything in 362 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: this moment right now that anxiety is helpful for us. 363 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: So if we can take that mindfulness and come back 364 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: to the present moment and say, okay, wait is that 365 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: thing happening right now and say no, it's not, so 366 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 1: I'll deal with it when I get there. So you 367 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 1: mentioned that mindfulness can be learned, and even listening to 368 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,440 Speaker 1: you describe it right now, I was thinking, gosh, I 369 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 1: truly live so much in my head and a lot 370 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: in the past and a lot in the future, like 371 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: you said, So, how can we learn how to be mindful? 372 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: That's a good question. Um. I think mindfulness, like I said, 373 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: it is absolutely a practice. So it's something that when 374 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 1: we're trying to learn, Um, I mean truthfully, when I 375 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,560 Speaker 1: first started learning about mindfulness, I hated it. I didn't 376 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 1: understand it. I didn't like it. I didn't understand why 377 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,919 Speaker 1: the people were, you know, trying to get me to 378 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: do this, um. But the reality was I wasn't understanding 379 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: it correctly. So in my idea it was that mindfulness 380 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: I needed to have a blank mind, so like almost 381 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: a white piece of paper, right, But the reality of 382 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 1: their mind doesn't really work that way. So it's not 383 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: so much about having a blank mind as it is 384 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: just not getting lost in our thoughts. So if a 385 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 1: thought comes up, I acknowledge it and I'm aware of it, 386 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 1: but I allow it to pass. Um. So mindfulness is 387 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: definitely a practice, something that you should start doing, just 388 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: even a little bit each day. And then there are 389 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,400 Speaker 1: different like activities I guess you could say that could 390 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: help you practice getting in that state of mind until 391 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: you get to be maybe a little bit better. Where 392 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: you hear people are like meditating for hours of the day, right, Yeah, 393 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 1: I mean meditation is one thing I've specifically struggled with 394 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,679 Speaker 1: and I don't know what it is. I dread it 395 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 1: every time I goes to sit down to do it. Um. 396 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: I do also think I have a lot of judgment, 397 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,679 Speaker 1: which you talk about in the book to not have 398 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 1: judgment on yourself. It's not about clearing your mind or 399 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: you know, anything like controlling the thoughts that are coming in, 400 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: but just recognizing what is coming in and releasing it, 401 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,359 Speaker 1: like you say, which is a huge practice for most 402 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 1: people when they start to learn to meditate. Yes, absolutely, 403 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,879 Speaker 1: and that again mindfulness. One of the key components of 404 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:45,119 Speaker 1: mindfulness is approaching it with um being non judgmental. So 405 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: that's a big thing. So like when you're sitting there 406 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,399 Speaker 1: and you're meditating, and then all of a sudden you 407 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 1: realize maybe for the last minute you've been thinking about 408 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,640 Speaker 1: all the stuff I have to do at work tomorrow. Um, 409 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: we don't judge ourselves. And god, I can't even meditate, 410 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,640 Speaker 1: you know, I'm so terrible at this. Don't just gently 411 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: bring our mind back to our awareness of like the 412 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,400 Speaker 1: present current moment. Maybe that's your breath, or maybe that's 413 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: the feeling of your you know, legs if you're sitting 414 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 1: on the floor, whatever that looks like. But it's just 415 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 1: like a gentle bringing back trying to approach it with 416 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 1: without judgment. Well, the next big portion of the book 417 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: UM breaks down the difference between rational and irrational thought, 418 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 1: And it made me think, how much is of my 419 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: anxiety is actually just irrational thought? So how much of 420 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: our anxiety are we just making up in our head? Well, 421 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 1: so I would say that for people that are struggling 422 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:48,439 Speaker 1: with you know, true anxiety disorders, and we're experiencing anxiety 423 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: when anxiety isn't helpful, most of those thoughts are irrational. 424 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 1: So what do you mean when the anxiety isn't helpful? 425 00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: So there are situations in life that anxiety is the 426 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 1: appropriate response, and it actually allows us to be more successful. Um. 427 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,239 Speaker 1: For example, this is just like a basic example. But 428 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 1: let's say, um, you know, in college or you know, 429 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: high school, whatever that is, you have a test tomorrow 430 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: and you feel anxious about that. Well, having a little 431 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,199 Speaker 1: bit of that anxiety in that situation is probably very 432 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: appropriate because if you fear that you're going to fail, 433 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,399 Speaker 1: you're more likely to study and do better. Right, So 434 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: for something like that, anxiety may be appropriate. Um. Now, 435 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: when we are experiencing anxiety and we're worried about what 436 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,639 Speaker 1: so and so thinks about us that I'm going to 437 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 1: see tonight, that's not helpful for me, right, Like, that's 438 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 1: not in any way making me better or making me 439 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: perform better. That's irrational thought, right, That's what I would 440 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:55,199 Speaker 1: call mind reading. Well, you also there's a part of 441 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: the activity. I don't remember it's specifically on this chapter 442 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: or not, but you have a chart that kind of 443 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:07,960 Speaker 1: breaks down this is what's happening, what is the reality? Um? 444 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 1: Is that actually true? Like you say the yes and knows. 445 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,919 Speaker 1: I can't remember the exact breakdown on the chart, but 446 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,120 Speaker 1: that that activity in and of itself, just asking yourself, 447 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: like what part of that is true? Because for me, 448 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 1: I don't even I think the you know, the mindfulness. 449 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 1: All that stuff is obviously the first steps, because you 450 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,400 Speaker 1: have to recognize what you're feeling. But like specifically, when 451 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 1: you mentioned what someone's thinking about you, like, we don't 452 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 1: know what other people are thinking, so you have to 453 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: actually ask yourself, is this actually happening or is this 454 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 1: just happening in my head? Absolutely? Yeah, So we kind 455 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 1: of um kind of talk about to um the different 456 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,360 Speaker 1: cognitive distortions that people typically engage in, and so sometimes too, 457 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,919 Speaker 1: if you get good at recognizing that, you can label 458 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: it and say, oh, I'm totally mind reading right now. 459 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,919 Speaker 1: That is also another really good way to check to 460 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,360 Speaker 1: see if that's a rational spot, because if you know 461 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 1: you're engaging in a cognitive story action, it's not a 462 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: rational thought. Probably something that we need to restructure. Um. 463 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: But otherwise, Yeah, you're going through and you're just you're 464 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: asking yourself where you know these thoughts are present? Is 465 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 1: there evidence that supports these thoughts. If there is evidence 466 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 1: that's supporting those thoughts, then that's probably telling you that 467 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 1: your emotional response is appropriate for that situation. If, on 468 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: the other hand, which is probably more likely that there's 469 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,880 Speaker 1: not any evidence that's supporting those thoughts, they ask more 470 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: than likely telling us, Okay, this anxiety isn't helpful for 471 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,120 Speaker 1: me right now. I can restructure these thoughts or practice 472 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,360 Speaker 1: a different coping skill to help manage this. Okay, we've 473 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 1: mentioned a couple of times that you have these activities 474 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: at the end of each chapter, and you really, you know, 475 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: suggest that people put these into practice for a week 476 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,439 Speaker 1: at a time before they move on to the next chapter. 477 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 1: What do you feel is beneficial about having an actual 478 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 1: practice versus doing just weeks and weeks and years and 479 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: years of just talk therapy. Well, I think there's a 480 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 1: couple a couple of things. Um. The reason that I 481 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 1: specifically like to give an activity to be practicing for 482 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 1: that week is, for one, it creates um some accountability. Right, 483 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,640 Speaker 1: So like if you're supposed to be working on this thing, 484 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,199 Speaker 1: it's going to be something that Okay, I gotta you know, 485 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 1: I have to focus on that today. I have to 486 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: focus on that today. And that's one way that this 487 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 1: is going to be develop a routine kind of throughout 488 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:33,879 Speaker 1: your life. Um. The other thing is that we learn 489 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: best by doing two ways of learning. So maybe you're reading, 490 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 1: but then also you're writing. Yeah, so that's a really 491 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: good way to learn whatever the skill is for that week, 492 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: for it to really sink in. Yeah, yeah, that makes 493 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 1: total sense. Um, you just mentioned that putting things into 494 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 1: practice because you know this isn't going to go away. 495 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,120 Speaker 1: That's the thing about anxiety. It's similar to the pain thing. 496 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: Like if you suffer from an anxiety disorder, the chances 497 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 1: are you're going to feel anxiety again at some point 498 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: in your life. You're not just going to get fixed 499 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,640 Speaker 1: if you do enough therapy or you read this book 500 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 1: or anything like that. But it is about putting things 501 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,640 Speaker 1: into practice, especially when things come up and you get 502 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 1: triggered because that's the thing, right, Like, none of this 503 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: is just going to go away, right, And that's actually 504 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,320 Speaker 1: one of the you know, big things that I talked 505 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,240 Speaker 1: about in the book, and that the book book does 506 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: not claim to cure anxiety because we have not found 507 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:33,159 Speaker 1: to cure for anxiety right now. Even the best of 508 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,159 Speaker 1: medication just helps us manage anxiety, doesn't actually cure it. 509 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 1: So unfortunately, Yeah, if you're a person who tends to 510 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: be a little bit more anxious and struggles with anxiety, 511 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 1: that's probably something that's going to continue to come up 512 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 1: in different parts of your life. And will notice that 513 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: there's some periods of time when like, oh we're great, 514 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: um and this anxiety is like super will and then 515 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,320 Speaker 1: there's periods of our life where anxiety is really high. 516 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: So yeah, that's it's good to have these skills so 517 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: that you have them, you practice them, you're good at them, 518 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: so that when that anxiety comes up again, you're like, Okay, 519 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 1: I got this right. How has your anxiety changed over 520 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: the years. Well, I would say that kind of like 521 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: I said, sometimes I think what I hear myself and 522 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: also other people is sometimes the content changes. So obviously 523 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: I'm not like worried about the house burning down anymore, 524 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 1: things like that. Like the content has definitely changed. Um. 525 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: But I would say most of the time now, I'm 526 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,719 Speaker 1: not having long periods of anxiety anymore. UM. So there 527 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 1: are definitely things that come up that make me feel anxious, 528 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: and I get that. For me, it's like a drop 529 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: in my stomach. UM, And I still experience that sometime. 530 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: Unfortunately for me, I'm one of the people that if 531 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: I am feeling a lot of anxiety, I also get 532 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 1: images associated with that. So it's not just a physical 533 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:59,320 Speaker 1: feeling of anxiety, it's I see it happening. It's like 534 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: a movie in my brain right and so that is 535 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 1: very distressful at times. But I notice it doesn't last 536 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: for very long anymore. So it peaks and then it 537 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,719 Speaker 1: very quickly goes away because I'm taking care of it 538 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: right away, and you probably recognize it quicker. Yes. Interesting. 539 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: The book is Conquer Anxiety in ten weeks. Jesse Jensen, 540 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here, UM, thank you 541 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,960 Speaker 1: so much for having me. I really appreciate it. Where 542 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: can people find you so they can't follow me on 543 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 1: Instagram at Jesse Jensen Therapy UM and then I also 544 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,520 Speaker 1: have my website and where the UM book is posted 545 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: is Insight Counseling Services WI dot com Insight Counseling Services. 546 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 1: You guys, go check it out. I truly recommend this book. 547 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: It's an easy read, it's very quick, and the activities 548 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 1: are super helpful. I've actually started to put some into 549 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: practice myself. So and thank you Jesse. Yes, you're very welcome. 550 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,880 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to hear that. All right, thank you again, 551 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:06,719 Speaker 1: and thank you guys for listening. H m hm