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Speaker 1: Hey, Kity Misconnections. That was me staring. It's a special

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Speaker 1: holiday edition of Craigslist Misconnections today.

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Speaker 2: We're getting in the spirit, I see.

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Speaker 1: And during this time of year, there's only two places

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Speaker 1: to find true love. One is on the ice skating

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Speaker 1: rink next to the hockey players beating each other with

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Speaker 1: frozen Yule logs. Yeah, I think those are logs. The

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Speaker 1: second is on the pages of craigslist dot org. We

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Speaker 1: scour that website every week and we found the best

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Speaker 1: holiday misconnections that they had to offer us, like this

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Speaker 1: first one titled you.

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Speaker 3: Help me pick out the Perfect Christmas Tree?

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Speaker 2: Oh I love his life?

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Speaker 1: Woman for Man seventy three Behind the strip Mall Random.

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Speaker 3: She says, I'm kind of a novice when it comes

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Speaker 3: to picking out Christmas trees. My second husband, Gerald god

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Speaker 3: Rest his Soul, used to cut them down himself by

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Speaker 3: taking them out of other people's yards.

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Speaker 2: You sound years.

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Speaker 3: When I was tree shopping the other night, you appeared

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Speaker 3: out of nowhere like a pine needle criss kringle, and

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Speaker 3: you told me you knew the secret to picking out

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Speaker 3: the perfect tree. You then plucked exactly three needles from

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Speaker 3: the one I was looking at and placed them on

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Speaker 3: the top of your tonguemore. You swished them around in

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Speaker 3: your mouth like a fine wine, and proceeded to tell

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Speaker 3: me what month and day the tree was cut down,

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Speaker 3: and what region two. Very impressive, and apparently you weren't

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Speaker 3: done for the next five minutes. You got up inside

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Speaker 3: my tree and ran your fingers up and down its

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Speaker 3: wooden trunk, inspecting it for imperfections and holes where small

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Speaker 3: creatures could hide.

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Speaker 2: I think so. I don't think that's after you were done.

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Speaker 3: I went to pay and told the cashier to give

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Speaker 3: you my number. But so far it's been quiet on

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Speaker 3: the home front. But if I'm being honest, the fires

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Speaker 3: are roaring downstairs.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you want anything on fire down there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, how about a complimentary house call to water my bush?

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Speaker 2: Oh tree? Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: That's signed Genevieve, Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled I Know what I wish

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Speaker 1: for this Christmas. It's you man for a woman forty

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Speaker 1: one Santa's Workshop. He says, I was in line with

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Speaker 1: my five kids looking to get some Sanna pics when

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Speaker 1: I spotted.

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Speaker 2: You, oh man, five children, and wow, you.

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Speaker 1: Had on red tights, a short green mini skirt, and

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Speaker 1: some curly hooker shoes.

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 1: That's when I realized you weren't just another floozy walking

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Speaker 1: around the mall looking for a trick.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that that's what happens at the mall.

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Speaker 1: You were Santa's Elf.

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Speaker 2: For the day.

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Speaker 1: When it was our turn, my five little felons ran

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Speaker 1: into the jolly Guy's lap. I tried a few pickup lines.

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Speaker 1: They were mostly about gingerbread hardening in the oven. You

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Speaker 1: said you didn't get it, and I said you will.

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Speaker 1: Before I knew it, my youngest Milo took off Santa's

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Speaker 1: boot and threw up in it. In the craziness, we

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Speaker 1: got separated and I chased my kids all the way

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Speaker 1: over to the food court for security escorted us out.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, but it's all right.

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Speaker 1: I'll see you again next week when I bring my

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Speaker 1: other three kids for a picture.

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Speaker 2: Children.

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Speaker 1: That's signed drabberber oh Man. He made eight children, at

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Speaker 1: least that we know of Brook. You know he's a

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Speaker 1: casanova hooker.

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Speaker 2: That is Nick Cannon's cousin.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to your next holiday theme misconnection. This one

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Speaker 1: says you're the new girl man for woman thirty six

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Speaker 1: the office. He says, I met you at one of

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Speaker 1: the lamest company holiday.

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Speaker 3: Parties I've ever been to.

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Speaker 2: Ours must have been at ours.

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Speaker 1: According to the rules, this year's party had to be

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Speaker 1: a dry event, which meant no alcohol. That's why I

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Speaker 1: know I was actually attracted to you, because I wasn't

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Speaker 1: pulling up to Slosh Island.

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Speaker 2: Look at that little bright side to sobriety.

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Speaker 1: You were wearing snowflake shaped earrings and a Christmas sweater

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Speaker 1: with blinking lights that said bipolaric Press.

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Speaker 2: Funny.

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Speaker 1: We were chatting about how boring the party was when

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Speaker 1: I offered a spice things up a little. That's when

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Speaker 1: I showed you my hidden flask and you giggled with delight.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, you have her.

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Speaker 1: After we shared a couple swigs, you got a weird

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Speaker 1: look on your face and told me I was an

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Speaker 1: embarrassment to serious drinkers everywhere. Oh you walked away, and

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Speaker 1: I thought I was out of luck.

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Speaker 2: Oh she was actually just disappointed.

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Speaker 1: But five minutes later you came back and whispered in

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Speaker 1: my ear, so you really want a party. And that's

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Speaker 1: when you chugged a tiny bottle of liquid white out

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Speaker 1: and kissed me on the forehead, leaving a white lipstains.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Mama, she's gotta have at least ulcers.

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Speaker 1: After that, I lost track of you in the crowd,

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Speaker 1: but the last thing I saw were paramedics pulling up

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Speaker 1: to the front of the There. It is gotta be bad.

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Speaker 3: It's like paint.

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Speaker 1: I figured you were involved. Yeah, let me know how

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Speaker 1: things ended up, and to tell the truth, I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure I'm ready for you. But what the hell? This

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Speaker 1: year has been a disaster anyway, I signed Rob and

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Speaker 1: worse note more toxic than you.

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Speaker 2: The white.

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Speaker 1: Holiday themed Craigslist Miscony Holidays. We got a phone to

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Speaker 1: have coming up right after this