Speaker 1: Everyone talked about a morning routine and meditation, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: if all of these really successful people that I admire
Speaker 1: do this, there's got to be something to it. I
Speaker 1: need to wake up and work out. I need to
Speaker 1: wake up and do this. But those things didn't work
Speaker 1: for me. So it was trying something for a week,
Speaker 1: do I feel better? And I got it to a
Speaker 1: routine of the things that feel best for me. Those
Speaker 1: five things might not work for you. Hey, everyone, welcome
Speaker 1: back to our Purpose, the number one health podcast in
Speaker 1: the world. Thanks to each and every one of you
Speaker 1: that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and
Speaker 1: more healed. And I am so excited to be talking
Speaker 1: to you today. I can't believe it. My new book,
Speaker 1: Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait
Speaker 1: to share it with you. I am so so excited
Speaker 1: for you to read this book, for you to listen
Speaker 1: to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't
Speaker 1: got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules
Speaker 1: of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying
Speaker 1: to find, keep, or let go of love. So if
Speaker 1: you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling
Speaker 1: with Love. Make sure you grab this book, and I'd
Speaker 1: love to invite you to come and see me for
Speaker 1: my global tour. Love Rules. Go to Ja shettytour dot
Speaker 1: com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you this year, and you
Speaker 1: know that I'm always going to look out for guests
Speaker 1: who have different experiences, different walks of life. People have
Speaker 1: built and created incredible cultural phenomenons and also at the
Speaker 1: same time learned lessons along the way that they can
Speaker 1: share with us. Now, I know that you're going to
Speaker 1: be really excited for this one because I know a
Speaker 1: ton of you already follow our next guest, and I'm
Speaker 1: excited for you to learn about behind the scenes story
Speaker 1: and the journey that she's taken to get there. I'm
Speaker 1: speaking about the one and only Marianna Hewett, who's a
Speaker 1: leading voice in social media and the co founder of
Speaker 1: Summer Fridays, the skincare brand whose iconic jetlag mask became
Speaker 1: an instant bestseller. Marianna is also the host of our
Speaker 1: own podcast, Life with Marianna, the number one fashion and
Speaker 1: beauty podcast. I got to be a guest, I think
Speaker 1: right at the beginning near when the show launched, it's
Speaker 1: been on an incredible trajectory. Amazing guest makes you check
Speaker 1: it out. Marianna's a dear friend, so I'm loving this opportunity.
Speaker 1: I just said to our offline that when a friend
Speaker 1: comes on the show, I think I know them a
Speaker 1: little bit, and then we interview them, and then I
Speaker 1: realized I know them a whole lot better. So I
Speaker 1: hope you feel inspired to interview your friends as well. Marianna,
Speaker 1: Welcome to Operas. No, it's so great to have you.
Speaker 1: I've been looking forward to this, and I loved the
Speaker 1: interview we did for your podcast two years ago. Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was one of my favorite episodes and people loved
Speaker 1: it so much, and so I'm so happy you're coming
Speaker 1: back again. Yes, yes, I'm excited to come back again.
Speaker 1: And you know, you've just been on this incredible journey
Speaker 1: with your brands, your work, the community you spend time with,
Speaker 1: your such a respected voice, such a well known face
Speaker 1: in the industry, which I think is really hard to
Speaker 1: do when you've done it from building a brand, when
Speaker 1: you've done it from building social media, it's hard to
Speaker 1: maintain that. But I want to go backwards today because
Speaker 1: as we were researching, we also found that you don't
Speaker 1: always share too much about yourself. And that's obviously what
Speaker 1: on purpose is built upon. And I wanted to ask you, like,
Speaker 1: and I asked this often, what's your earliest strong memory
Speaker 1: as a child, Like, can you remember if you could
Speaker 1: go back, what's one of your strongest earliest memories and
Speaker 1: why is it so important to you? And I'll tell
Speaker 1: you mine as I as I let you think on yours.
Speaker 1: If I think about my earliest earliest memory, I can
Speaker 1: probably remember holding my sister when she was born. So
Speaker 1: I was around four and a half going on five,
Speaker 1: and I remember her being in my arms and like
Speaker 1: it was amazing to have that opportunity to actually hold
Speaker 1: this baby. And I remember my parents had been like
Speaker 1: preparing me for this moment where they were like, you've
Speaker 1: got to pray for a new new little friend to
Speaker 1: be in your life, and so like for weeks on
Speaker 1: end and months I was praying, so I was prepped.
Speaker 1: And then when my mom was going to hospital and everything,
Speaker 1: I remember my dad like staying at home with me
Speaker 1: and doing puzzles and like keeping me occupied and getting
Speaker 1: me ready. And then finally, when I held my sister,
Speaker 1: was like such a moment and the reason why. And
Speaker 1: I think about how that moment impacted me, and I
Speaker 1: feel my parents did a great job at me being excited,
Speaker 1: and at the same time, I feel that's been a
Speaker 1: big part of why I feel so close to my sister.
Speaker 1: And I often called my sister kid because I see
Speaker 1: her as my little child, and so there was a
Speaker 1: parental aspect. I feel like I became quite fatherly early on.
Speaker 1: So anyway, that's my earliest memory of four and a
Speaker 1: half years old. I want to know yours. We have
Speaker 1: a mutual friend, Audrey, and she was asking me the
Speaker 1: other day, like, how far back do you remember? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I remember my first day of kindergarten. She's
Speaker 1: like you do, and I was like, yeah, I can
Speaker 1: remember waiting in line, I can remember my backpack, I
Speaker 1: remember going into school. And it really was memories from
Speaker 1: six on where I remember a lot. At the time
Speaker 1: my parents got divorced, I was six, so this is
Speaker 1: very early nineties before a lot of family we're getting divorced,
Speaker 1: and I had grown up in Germany, that's where I
Speaker 1: was born, and after my parents divorced, my mom went
Speaker 1: back to Germany, and this is very modern of my
Speaker 1: parents at the time. But I ended up living with
Speaker 1: my dad full time, so my dad was a full
Speaker 1: time single parent. They were cross continental co parenting, which
Speaker 1: is like it just seems very crazy like thinking back then.
Speaker 1: But I think it's a lot to my independence now
Speaker 1: because I started flying by myself to Germany to see
Speaker 1: my mom when I was six. So my dad used
Speaker 1: to take me to the airport. This is before TSA preach.
Speaker 1: This is how long ago it was, or your people
Speaker 1: could like walk you to the gate. So my dad
Speaker 1: would walk me there and then someone would take me
Speaker 1: on the plane. I would fly to Germany. I would
Speaker 1: meet my mom there on the other end. And I'm
Speaker 1: an only child and a youngest child, so I have
Speaker 1: two older half sisters, but I was my parents only kids.
Speaker 1: So from a really young age, I had this independence
Speaker 1: of Okay, I could fly to Germany by myself, like
Speaker 1: I can do everything by myself. And I think my
Speaker 1: parents always treated me as an adult at a really
Speaker 1: young age, and they instilled independence in me, and they
Speaker 1: always treated me like I was an adult. So my
Speaker 1: parents are much older now. My dad is eighty five.
Speaker 1: My mom is seventy two, and so I think they
Speaker 1: were out of phase in their life where they were
Speaker 1: a little bit more grown up. They had figured things
Speaker 1: out themselves, and they said, this is the way I
Speaker 1: want a parent. I'm not going to smother you. I'm
Speaker 1: going to let you be your own person and figure
Speaker 1: things out. And I think that independence has really gotten
Speaker 1: me to where I am today. And so when people
Speaker 1: are like, how do you travel all the time for work,
Speaker 1: I've like, Oh, I've been traveling since I was a baby,
Speaker 1: so it's something I'm so used to. I love that
Speaker 1: I did not know that, and I think it's really interesting.
Speaker 1: I don't live in my past that much, and you
Speaker 1: don't strike me as someone who lives in your past
Speaker 1: a lot, but I do love going backwards to kind
Speaker 1: of connect the dots with those experiences. And what you
Speaker 1: just said is a perfect example of how you took that.
Speaker 1: Have you found sometimes that you speak to people, but
Speaker 1: we all react to things differently, Like for someone else
Speaker 1: that going back and forth would have made travel really
Speaker 1: scary and they would have been like, God, my parents
Speaker 1: got divorced, like it was the worst and I had
Speaker 1: to go back and forth where your story is I'm
Speaker 1: independent and I travel. Do you think you had to
Speaker 1: reflect or did you do any work to get there
Speaker 1: or was that just natural for you? Where it was like,
Speaker 1: I just felt like it was a good thing, because
Speaker 1: I'm always intrigued as to life happening to us versus
Speaker 1: us choosing what life does to us. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: there's two scenarios here. So I have a friend who
Speaker 1: is really bad flight anxiety, Like she cannot get on
Speaker 1: a plane without taking something first, and we talked about
Speaker 1: it recently and she's like, I think because my parents
Speaker 1: were divorced, and I thought every time I got on
Speaker 1: a plane, I was leaving one parent and going to
Speaker 1: another one. And so she has a really bad time
Speaker 1: flying now thirty years later because of those experiences. Again,
Speaker 1: my parents being modern at the time, which is more
Speaker 1: common now, my parents actually got me a therapist when
Speaker 1: they were going through divorce. And this is thirty years ago,
Speaker 1: so you have to think I was six years old
Speaker 1: and my parents said, Okay, we're going to separate, We're
Speaker 1: going to give you someone to talk to. And so
Speaker 1: at the time I could actually process my emotions, not
Speaker 1: really remembering what was happening, but they were so cautious
Speaker 1: about how to handle the situation that I think it
Speaker 1: made me feel like, oh, it's not a bad thing
Speaker 1: that they're separated. They're doing these things because they love
Speaker 1: me and they want to be happy people independently. And
Speaker 1: so the way they handled it then reflected on who
Speaker 1: I am as an adult today. So I think as
Speaker 1: I think about one day becoming a parent, all those
Speaker 1: things from someone being six really does reflect on who
Speaker 1: they are as an adult. That's incredible. Yeah, so your
Speaker 1: parents are supermature. Yeah, but you to think then people
Speaker 1: weren't getting divorced, people were not going to therapy, parents
Speaker 1: weren't co parenting. There's not even really cell phones at
Speaker 1: this time, so they were trying to co parent in
Speaker 1: different continents without Wi Fi, without cell phones. And the
Speaker 1: fact that they were able to do it, it's like
Speaker 1: if you live in the same city with someone else,
Speaker 1: it's definitely possible. If they could do it between countries. Wow,
Speaker 1: And do you feel that because of the way they
Speaker 1: handled it, you've continued to have a good relationship with
Speaker 1: both of them. Yeah, because of how they how did
Speaker 1: they What were some of the others, Because I think
Speaker 1: there are so many people today who have parents who
Speaker 1: got divorced, or a lot of people who actually have
Speaker 1: parents who never got divorced, but they feel that could
Speaker 1: have benefited them. And then of course their parents who
Speaker 1: stayed together, and people are grateful for that. But from
Speaker 1: your experience, what else. I'm just so intrigued by how
Speaker 1: incredible your parents are, Like, what else do you think
Speaker 1: they got right that, despite being in separate countries, you
Speaker 1: felt like you had a healthy relationship with both For them,
Speaker 1: they always made sure like no matter what this was
Speaker 1: the schedule. I spent my summers with my mom in Europe.
Speaker 1: I would go see her during holiday, she would come
Speaker 1: back to see me, and so my mom was always
Speaker 1: planning work trips about coming back to where I was,
Speaker 1: and so she would make sure she was present at school.
Speaker 1: Even though she didn't live in the same state as me,
Speaker 1: she would come to different things, and so that time
Speaker 1: is really important, and I remember more the days that
Speaker 1: she was there than she wasn't there. And so now
Speaker 1: I'm so close to both of them, and they're really
Speaker 1: like friends to me. Now at this point, it's not
Speaker 1: really like a parental relationship of anything. I probably parent
Speaker 1: them a little bit too. Much, but they're just so incredible,
Speaker 1: And I think hindsight is that they're older and I
Speaker 1: have the gift of age from them. And I think
Speaker 1: because they were fully mature adults by the time they
Speaker 1: got married and had kids, they realized how to be
Speaker 1: a parent more. I think a lot of times, when
Speaker 1: you're still trying to figure yourself out in your twenties
Speaker 1: and thirties, it might be a little bit too early.
Speaker 1: But I think my mom waited till she was thirty
Speaker 1: six to have me. My dad was forty nine, and
Speaker 1: I think they were in a place where they were
Speaker 1: fully ready to become parents, and I think that really
Speaker 1: reflected on the way they raised me versus feeling like
Speaker 1: I have to do this because of my age, which
Speaker 1: I think a lot of women feel that way now,
Speaker 1: like oh, I'm thirty, I have to do this thing now,
Speaker 1: But they don't feel ready because society keeps telling us
Speaker 1: we have to have kids by a certain age. But
Speaker 1: I think they waited and that waiting made them better
Speaker 1: parents to me. Yeah. Wow, So not only were your
Speaker 1: parents over totherapy, yeah, your dad being the primary cat taker,
Speaker 1: and then your parents were actually having kids late, which
Speaker 1: was so not normal. Then yes, So it sounds like
Speaker 1: they were breaking all the rules. They were doing all
Speaker 1: the things that I want to do now in life,
Speaker 1: but a long time ago before it was like normalized. Yeah,
Speaker 1: tell me one of the ways that you feel your
Speaker 1: parent your parents now that they're all older, and of course,
Speaker 1: you know what's been one of the most beautiful ways
Speaker 1: that you've got to Oh, I turn that I do
Speaker 1: every I do so much for them now, but it's
Speaker 1: like such a blessing to be able to do that
Speaker 1: for them. And so my parents are so grateful for
Speaker 1: anything if I buy them a flight or book something
Speaker 1: for them. But now it's like travel, I want to
Speaker 1: make sure that they're like very comfortable. So it's just
Speaker 1: making sure that they have everything that they need. So
Speaker 1: I have a half sister who's older. She lives in Connecticut,
Speaker 1: so my dad wanted to see them for Thanksgiving. So
Speaker 1: it's just he's like, oh, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: this flight, Like he has so much gratitude for a
Speaker 1: flight that I could book for him. And it's like,
Speaker 1: if I can work hard to make sure that you
Speaker 1: can go see your great grandkids, it makes me so happy.
Speaker 1: Or my mom to be able to go on a
Speaker 1: trip and do the things that she wants to do.
Speaker 1: So now they're probably annoyed with me because I'm like,
Speaker 1: don't do this, don't do this, don't go here, remember this,
Speaker 1: like wear your face mask. Like I'm telling them all
Speaker 1: of these things, but I try to do it a
Speaker 1: little bit less. But they're like my dad even texts
Speaker 1: me that they're thinking, okay, thanks Mom, Like, so they're cute.
Speaker 1: I love that. That's so adorable. It's so beautiful. I
Speaker 1: think for all of us who can support our parents
Speaker 1: in any way, it is such a blessing. One of
Speaker 1: the things that you brought up that they really stuck
Speaker 1: with me was this idea that you want to live
Speaker 1: your life in the way your parents were living their
Speaker 1: life back then. Do you feel like you didn't grow
Speaker 1: up with a lot of limitations in your mindset or boundaries,
Speaker 1: because I think what you were saying is that a
Speaker 1: lot of For example, you gave the example that a
Speaker 1: lot of women feel like, oh, by the time I'm thirty,
Speaker 1: I should have had kids by now. Well by the
Speaker 1: time on this, and I think time and society place
Speaker 1: a lot of these boundaries and barriers. Did you feel
Speaker 1: more free from them because of how you were parented
Speaker 1: or did at any point in your life did these
Speaker 1: become a part of your yeah, education as well. There's
Speaker 1: a couple of things. So one, my dad grew up
Speaker 1: really poor. He was born at the end of the
Speaker 1: Great Depression and grew up my grandpa was a preacher.
Speaker 1: They had no money, like, very very poor. My dad
Speaker 1: only could go to college because he joined the Air
Speaker 1: Force and was able to go on a GI bill.
Speaker 1: My mom immigrated to the US during the Vietnam War
Speaker 1: and came to the America with literally nothing. So between
Speaker 1: the two of their stories, I thought, if they come
Speaker 1: from nothing, they come from war, they come from the
Speaker 1: Great Depression, and they could make this life for themselves.
Speaker 1: I can do anything possible because they've given me this
Speaker 1: great life that I could have, that anything is possible here.
Speaker 1: So if I don't live my life to the fullest,
Speaker 1: it's almost a disservice to the sacrifices that they made
Speaker 1: for me to be here. My mom is also Vietnamese,
Speaker 1: so I grew up with a very much a tiger
Speaker 1: mom who was like, you have to do these things.
Speaker 1: Go to school, you need to graduate, you need to
Speaker 1: get a job. But She also taught to meet independence
Speaker 1: and what she told me was never rely on anyone
Speaker 1: else for anything. You need to be able to fully
Speaker 1: support yourself. So if you're in a relationship or a situation,
Speaker 1: you can walk away and not feel like you have
Speaker 1: to rely on another person for something, or be in
Speaker 1: a scenario you don't want to be in because you
Speaker 1: need this person for this thing. And maybe I took
Speaker 1: it a little far overly independent in my life. And
Speaker 1: so growing up, I told my parents I want to
Speaker 1: be a television host. And then my mom was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you need a realistic job, like being on TV is
Speaker 1: not realistic. So I said, Okay, my backup job is
Speaker 1: going to be PR. So I went to school for journalism.
Speaker 1: My backup was PR. I interned in PR in college.
Speaker 1: It was my first job out of college. I was
Speaker 1: taking celebrities to interviews and I was like, I still
Speaker 1: want to be the one interviewing them, like this is
Speaker 1: I don't want to be behind the camera. I want
Speaker 1: to be in front of the camera. And so I
Speaker 1: started working as a TV host and then Instagram and
Speaker 1: YouTube came around in twenty twelve, and I had a
Speaker 1: reel and to send my real places. I needed to
Speaker 1: upload it somewhere, so I uploaded it to YouTube and
Speaker 1: I had to send the link to places to go
Speaker 1: on interviews, and so I would send them this link.
Speaker 1: That was my first YouTube video, and then I had
Speaker 1: a channel. So I was like, I may as well
Speaker 1: start uploading makeup tutorials because I have this place. This
Speaker 1: is very early YouTube days ten years ago. And after
Speaker 1: two years I was able to do it full time.
Speaker 1: And I told my parents I'm going to quit to
Speaker 1: do the internet. And they were like, quit to do
Speaker 1: the internet? Like what is this? And so even though
Speaker 1: they support me now, I don't think they gave me.
Speaker 1: They let me know that all things were possible because
Speaker 1: of their own stories, but I didn't know at the
Speaker 1: time that I could make it a career for myself,
Speaker 1: and they were definitely a little bit skeptical. Now they're
Speaker 1: like the most supportive people. But at the beginning, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like internet full time, what is this? Parents always
Speaker 1: want us to be safe, like parents always want their
Speaker 1: kids to be safe, but it's almost like the safest
Speaker 1: thing parents can do is let kids take their own risks.
Speaker 1: I feel the same with my parents, Like my mom
Speaker 1: moved to England when she was sixteen, and they built
Speaker 1: their life. Her brothers were like eighteen and nineteen, and
Speaker 1: they built a life, Whereas when I was moving to
Speaker 1: New York at twenty eight, it was like no, no, no, like,
Speaker 1: are you okay, my baby? I'm like, mom, I'm twenty
Speaker 1: eight years old. You were sixteen. But they forget that.
Speaker 1: They forget the pain and the sacrifice and the risk
Speaker 1: they took on, and they want to shelter you away
Speaker 1: from it. When you made that decision, were you so
Speaker 1: convinced that this is right for me, I know it's
Speaker 1: the thing, or was it hard? Because I feel like
Speaker 1: when you did that step, it wasn't a thing to
Speaker 1: be a YouTuber yet, it wasn't a career path that
Speaker 1: someone could say, I want to be a creator, mom
Speaker 1: and dad, look at what x y Z are doing.
Speaker 1: There weren't any role models at that time, and so
Speaker 1: when you did that, it was even a bigger risk
Speaker 1: than it is today. But I find so many people
Speaker 1: who listen to this show today struggle to break out
Speaker 1: of what their parents think of them. So when your parents,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you have such a close relationship with
Speaker 1: your parents, they love you, You love them. Was there
Speaker 1: a part of you that felt you were letting them
Speaker 1: down by doing this or did ye never letting them down?
Speaker 1: I was never worried about letting them down. I think
Speaker 1: I just had to prove them. So Like my dad
Speaker 1: is very much like, Okay, go do whatever you want,
Speaker 1: like this is great. Like he grew up in a
Speaker 1: time there's not even phone, so like to have a
Speaker 1: job on the internet seems so insane to him. But
Speaker 1: my mom is very much like, show me what you
Speaker 1: can do and then I'll support you. And so I
Speaker 1: had to show her these opportunities. And I think when
Speaker 1: I went on my first brand trip and I could
Speaker 1: bring her on the trip, she was like, oh, you
Speaker 1: could travel for work, you could go places. I went
Speaker 1: to Thailand and I took her with me, and she
Speaker 1: couldn't believe that you could have this job on the
Speaker 1: internet and create this for yourself. And so I was
Speaker 1: never worried about disappointing them because I always believed in myself,
Speaker 1: if I want to do something, I know that it's possible.
Speaker 1: And now we're in a really great place where you
Speaker 1: can see people's careers that you want to emulate or
Speaker 1: you look up too. But at that time there was
Speaker 1: no one to We were figuring it all out at
Speaker 1: the same time. And luckily it was very early days
Speaker 1: of like influencers having like managers and teams, and I
Speaker 1: happened to get an agency, and I think that helped
Speaker 1: legitimize it to my family, and then they saw over
Speaker 1: time like, Okay, you can actually like make money doing this,
Speaker 1: and here we are a decade later. I love that.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Congrats on having the strength at it. I
Speaker 1: think that's underplayed, like how hard it is when something
Speaker 1: is brand new to kind of bet on it because
Speaker 1: you didn't have the you didn't have the benefit of
Speaker 1: hindsight of how successful this thing was going to be
Speaker 1: or how big it was going to be, no idea.
Speaker 1: At the beginning, people were paypaling me fifty dollars to
Speaker 1: pose something like that's how early it was, and I
Speaker 1: was like, you would pay me fifty dollars to post something,
Speaker 1: let's go. I was so excited. Yeah, that's incredible. And
Speaker 1: when you started doing makeup tutorials and everything was that somehow.
Speaker 1: And what I love about that story is you set
Speaker 1: out to be a TV anchor, right like that, that's
Speaker 1: what you wanted to be. Then you go into pr
Speaker 1: realized that being behind camera doesn't work. Then you do makeup.
Speaker 1: Was doing makeup tutorials fulfilling somewhat of a passion of
Speaker 1: being in front of camera like that. Obviously wasn't being
Speaker 1: a news anchor, but there was something about it I
Speaker 1: was feeling, right, Yeah. I always had a passion for
Speaker 1: sharing things that I loved with an audience, and so
Speaker 1: at the time, I thought being a TV host was
Speaker 1: the only way to do this, because I had to
Speaker 1: be on a show to talk about things that I
Speaker 1: love to share it with people. When YouTube came around
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you can upload videos and talk about
Speaker 1: whatever you want and people can watch it. It was
Speaker 1: always the things I felt I wanted to do in
Speaker 1: my heart when I grew up, but when I grew up,
Speaker 1: there was no platform to do that. And then at
Speaker 1: the time when I was auditioning, I was going to
Speaker 1: a lot of shows to be a host, and every
Speaker 1: time I would get towards the end and they would
Speaker 1: be like, we're going to give this job to this celebrity,
Speaker 1: Like this celebrity host is going to do the job,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, how am I ever supposed to
Speaker 1: be known. If I don't get the opportunity. With the Internet,
Speaker 1: We're in such an amazing place where we can take
Speaker 1: our careers into our own hands. There's no one to
Speaker 1: tell us no. You can create the content and if
Speaker 1: the audience is there and people want it, they will
Speaker 1: show up, they will watch, they will download, they will follow,
Speaker 1: they will listen. And so it was everything I wanted
Speaker 1: in this new platform, and it finally gave me a
Speaker 1: place where I wasn't getting told no in an audition,
Speaker 1: that someone didn't have to say yes to me, and
Speaker 1: I could prove and show that I had this audience online.
Speaker 1: And so I love it so much and it was
Speaker 1: everything I wanted to do. When I grew up, I
Speaker 1: just didn't know that's what it was. And I always
Speaker 1: had a love for beauty and my dad used to
Speaker 1: take me to beauty counters. So growing up with my dad,
Speaker 1: he didn't know how to do my hair on my makeup.
Speaker 1: So he would take me to department stores and he
Speaker 1: would take me to an essay ladder counter and say, Okay,
Speaker 1: here's my daughter, like, can you show her how to
Speaker 1: use hair and makeup? Can you show her what products
Speaker 1: to buy? Because he had no idea what a great
Speaker 1: and so that really was my love of beauty from
Speaker 1: a really young age. And so I started learning about
Speaker 1: beauty from the experts, these people at counters who were
Speaker 1: telling me about products, and that was in middle school
Speaker 1: and high school. And then I took that love into
Speaker 1: creating tutorials for myself and then starting your own brand.
Speaker 1: That's such a great story, and I'm so glad we're
Speaker 1: doing this, like background journey, because I feel like I
Speaker 1: think about this all the time. I went to public
Speaker 1: speaking school from eleven to seventeens, public being drama school
Speaker 1: age eleven to eight, age eighteen, sorry for seven years,
Speaker 1: and I think about it all the time that before
Speaker 1: I'd even launched my online career, I probably had around
Speaker 1: like twenty years of public speaking experience before I ever
Speaker 1: did this professionally or got paid to do it. And
Speaker 1: I think that when I hear your story of like
Speaker 1: as a little girl, like going to a beauty counter
Speaker 1: learning about not just how to put on makeup, but
Speaker 1: which brands were doing well and why, and then skin
Speaker 1: tone and color and then maybe looking for gaps in
Speaker 1: the market, like you get such a real grassroots experience
Speaker 1: that no one else can get just by looking at
Speaker 1: what we have today. I feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: grassroots learning. There's nothing better than Do you feel like
Speaker 1: there were things then that you were like one day late? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think at the time. I remember learning how to
Speaker 1: contour in high school before it became trendy like years later,
Speaker 1: And I remember I was at a Mac counter and
Speaker 1: they were like, this is what like drag queens use
Speaker 1: on stage. This is where they use in stage makeup.
Speaker 1: This is called contouring. You use this brush, you use
Speaker 1: this powder, You put it right here so when you're
Speaker 1: on stage, your face really stands out. And I can
Speaker 1: remember this person telling me at a macstore how to
Speaker 1: do this step and it's something I still do in
Speaker 1: my makeup every day today. And here we are, like
Speaker 1: fifteen years later from when they taught me this, and
Speaker 1: so I loved learning from them, and so it was
Speaker 1: so great, but you don't know it at the time.
Speaker 1: And I think in life, every job and every experience,
Speaker 1: whether you end up doing that job long term or not,
Speaker 1: you really do learn something from each of those things
Speaker 1: that pile onto the next job. In high school, I
Speaker 1: used to work at restaurants. I used to be a
Speaker 1: hostess at restaurants. And being a hostess, maybe you don't
Speaker 1: think it's connected to the job I have now, but
Speaker 1: I had to stand in front of a restaurant, I
Speaker 1: had to talk to strangers. I stood on my feet
Speaker 1: for a long time. I had to have conversations with
Speaker 1: people who were angry waiting for their tables or wanted
Speaker 1: something really quickly, or making conversation with them walking them
Speaker 1: to their tables. And now I have no problem networking
Speaker 1: or meeting new people or going up to people when
Speaker 1: I see them at events or places because I had
Speaker 1: these skills that I learned at a really young age
Speaker 1: of how to talk to anyone in these scenarios. If
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not living your passion right now,
Speaker 1: or you're not living your purpose, or you know, we
Speaker 1: talk about these words a lot, I really want you
Speaker 1: to go back and look at every job you've ever
Speaker 1: done and reflect on what you learned there, because I
Speaker 1: promise you that skill is going to be so useful
Speaker 1: for your passion and your purpose when it comes along.
Speaker 1: I was saying to someone my first ever job was
Speaker 1: I delivered newspapers. But then my second job was I
Speaker 1: worked at Morrison's, which is our version of like Walmart,
Speaker 1: or like a grocery store, but a big one. And
Speaker 1: I remember just stacking shelves and everyone's like, well, what
Speaker 1: did you learn? Then, I'm like, I learned how to
Speaker 1: memorize what was in every aisle if anyone asked me
Speaker 1: where anything was, and knew exactly which isislet was in.
Speaker 1: I learned how to turn up to work on time
Speaker 1: and leave on time. And I learned that over time
Speaker 1: you got paid more. Like you'd learned so many basic things,
Speaker 1: and what you just said, you learn how to work
Speaker 1: with different people. I was fifteen years old, and I
Speaker 1: learned how to have a boss and how to have
Speaker 1: a good relationship with my boss, and all of these
Speaker 1: techniques and skills that you would never learn in a textbook,
Speaker 1: you never learn at school. Wondrium is an amazing educational
Speaker 1: platform with documentaries, series, lessons, how tows and more covering
Speaker 1: just about anything you and I can imagine. With one
Speaker 1: drium you get a huge selection of videos over eight
Speaker 1: thousand hours, flexibility to switch to audio only create for multitasking,
Speaker 1: superb quality programs that are expert led, easy to follow,
Speaker 1: and beautifully filmed, and that are completely accessible. Watch or
Speaker 1: listen on your phone, tablet, TV, and computer. No commercials,
Speaker 1: no tests or stress, just the enjoyment of learning. Right now,
Speaker 1: I'm diving into the program Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Daily Life.
Speaker 1: Have you ever found yourself worrying so much that you
Speaker 1: wished you could just turn your brain off. It's normal
Speaker 1: to worry from time to time, but when worrying disrupts
Speaker 1: your everyday life, CBT tools can help you regain control.
Speaker 1: Professor Jason Satterfield shares several techniques, from distracting yourself to
Speaker 1: scheduling official worry time that can help you redirect your thoughts.
Speaker 1: You experience emotions every day and they influence everything you
Speaker 1: think and do. This program teaches you the skills you
Speaker 1: need to take control of your daily life so you
Speaker 1: can better handle stress situations and feel more mentally balanced.
Speaker 1: Learn about what you love and love learning about it
Speaker 1: With one Drium do what I did. Sign up for
Speaker 1: one Dream now and right now. My listeners can get
Speaker 1: two years of one Drum for the price of one
Speaker 1: a fantastic deal, but it's only available if you sign
Speaker 1: up through my special U r L. Go to one
Speaker 1: drem dot com forward slash J. That's w O N
Speaker 1: d r i UM dot com forward slash J onerem
Speaker 1: dot com forward slash J. When you are going through
Speaker 1: this journey, you take this decision to make YouTube videos,
Speaker 1: to make content, did you ever get wrapped up in
Speaker 1: like views, how beautiful am my makeup? Because I feel
Speaker 1: like that can get so toxic for people, And I
Speaker 1: think now what we're seeing so much of his creator burnout.
Speaker 1: So there's one side that I want to talk to
Speaker 1: you about, which is like likes, views, comments, engagement, Like
Speaker 1: how do you deal with the pressure of that, Like
Speaker 1: you upload something and it doesn't get views. And the
Speaker 1: other side is when you actually get good at it
Speaker 1: and now you're like knocking out videos, you're getting views,
Speaker 1: everything's going well. But we meet so many creators today
Speaker 1: who just say I'm tired of putting stuff out, Like
Speaker 1: I'm burnt out of having to upload every day to
Speaker 1: three different platforms. I never worried too much about views,
Speaker 1: and I know that that's a really hard thing to
Speaker 1: say in a world where our job is valued on followers, views, likes, clicks,
Speaker 1: and that really is how we're valued. But at the
Speaker 1: time on YouTube, I started my very first videos with
Speaker 1: products I used today in my skincare routine, and that's
Speaker 1: ten years ago. Because I genuinely loved these products. I
Speaker 1: was shopping at Sephorah. I love Prestige beauty. I was
Speaker 1: a little bit older in the YouTube age. A lot
Speaker 1: of the people were in either high school or they
Speaker 1: were very young, and what they were sharing was not
Speaker 1: genuinely the products that I loved, and so I could
Speaker 1: have fall into this trap of I care about virality,
Speaker 1: I care about what's trending, and I'm going to use
Speaker 1: these products, but it wasn't genuine to who I was.
Speaker 1: So I had a slower growth, and I said, I
Speaker 1: love these brands and these products. I'm going to create
Speaker 1: videos around this content, and I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: the fastest growing. And that's okay because it's true to
Speaker 1: who I am. And so if I thought about the
Speaker 1: longevity of my career, it was more important to me
Speaker 1: to create content that I genuinely liked and products that
Speaker 1: I genuinely loved, versus chasing views because virality, maybe people
Speaker 1: will click on it and watch it because they care
Speaker 1: about this trending product or this theme, but they're not
Speaker 1: getting to know you and it was more important for
Speaker 1: me to people to like me for what I genuinely
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about, because I can't really create content
Speaker 1: if I don't love it, and I just won't do it.
Speaker 1: It's just not something that I like. And I think
Speaker 1: that was a problem I had when TikTok first started,
Speaker 1: was I didn't want to create content just for the
Speaker 1: sake of virality, and so on YouTube, I grew a
Speaker 1: little bit slower, but I started working with luxury beauty
Speaker 1: brands and at the very beginning, they weren't really spending
Speaker 1: money with people, but they saw like, there's only a
Speaker 1: handful of girls on YouTube who are creating content around
Speaker 1: Armani Beauty and Laura Mercia and these kind of brands,
Speaker 1: and then I ended up getting to work with them
Speaker 1: because there wasn't a lot of people sharing it. And
Speaker 1: so I started working with Sephora at that time and
Speaker 1: creating videos for their brand pages because they wanted an
Speaker 1: organic type of video that wasn't a sponsored brand video.
Speaker 1: And so it was a slower growth for me, but
Speaker 1: I think it's helped me be where I am today,
Speaker 1: because what you don't want to do is create content
Speaker 1: that's just for the sake of being viral, and then
Speaker 1: well what happens. Then I have a friend who she
Speaker 1: used to be an editor and she left and she's
Speaker 1: creating content full time now. And there's this trend of
Speaker 1: people kind of taking like editorial, beauty news content and
Speaker 1: regurgitating it into TikTok's. But then you're just retelling a
Speaker 1: news story and there's nothing personal about it with you,
Speaker 1: and sure people are going to watch it. It might
Speaker 1: get millions of views, but you're not really building your
Speaker 1: personal audience. And so now that we've created more things
Speaker 1: for ourselves, I'm so happy that I always kind of
Speaker 1: stay true to the kind of content I wanted to create,
Speaker 1: because if not, then you're always going to be in
Speaker 1: this hamster wheel of creating things for the views, and
Speaker 1: you're never going to really feel satisfied by that. It
Speaker 1: is frustrating when something doesn't perform well and you want
Speaker 1: it to do well, and like it is our job,
Speaker 1: and like you know, brands work with us because they
Speaker 1: want a certain reach or number, and so that stuff
Speaker 1: is important and that will come if you create the
Speaker 1: content that your followers really want to see from you.
Speaker 1: And then I think, you know, there's been phases of
Speaker 1: burnout for me because being a creator, there's no job security,
Speaker 1: there's no hour, there's no health benefits, we have no
Speaker 1: teams a lot of times, and so it is the
Speaker 1: scarce any mentality of every time a job comes in,
Speaker 1: you want to say yes to it because you don't
Speaker 1: know when the next thing is coming, and so you
Speaker 1: want to do all the things that you can. But
Speaker 1: I think in time I learned I have to take
Speaker 1: a step back and not say yes to everything because
Speaker 1: it's better for myself long term and the things will
Speaker 1: come and it's but I know it's difficult, especially if
Speaker 1: you're just starting out, because you are really based and
Speaker 1: judged on a number. Yeah, I think that's so refreshing
Speaker 1: to hear that from you, Like I hope that there's
Speaker 1: so many people listening to this right now that are going, Mariana,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for saying that, because I think
Speaker 1: everyone feels that pressure. But you just explain something really
Speaker 1: beautifully that you can have a lot of views, but
Speaker 1: people are not necessarily watching it for you or understanding
Speaker 1: who you are. And therefore every video you post can
Speaker 1: get lots of views, but it's not like people are
Speaker 1: really interested in your viewpoint or your perspective or your thoughts,
Speaker 1: and I think we get those two things mixed up.
Speaker 1: We think that virality and followers means influence, and actually
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean influence at all, because if people only
Speaker 1: see you as entertainment, they're not going to suddenly listen
Speaker 1: to your perspective on something you should buy or something
Speaker 1: you should use your expert opinion. And so that's what
Speaker 1: I'm hearing from you, and I hope that gives people
Speaker 1: a lot of confidence because I think it's very easy
Speaker 1: to chase the views. I know there's someone I'm thinking
Speaker 1: about right now who makes amazing content and it doesn't
Speaker 1: get a lot of views, but it's built him a
Speaker 1: really good business and he's trying to get more views
Speaker 1: and virality, and I'm like, no, Like this is building
Speaker 1: real value because your content so awesome. You're actually attracting
Speaker 1: real companies who want to work with you privately because
Speaker 1: of the value that they see. And that's what your
Speaker 1: journey says too. When it gets to burnout and everything
Speaker 1: you just mentioned about no benefits, no work hours, like
Speaker 1: that's so I think burnout comes from doing too much
Speaker 1: of what you feel is true to your core. It
Speaker 1: doesn't come from doing too much. What is very aligned
Speaker 1: with you. Would you agree with that or oh, yes
Speaker 1: and no, because I think there is a balance of
Speaker 1: having time off and so yes, we want to do
Speaker 1: all of these things, and we want to work really
Speaker 1: hard and create this life for ourselves. But I cannot
Speaker 1: do those things I need to do if I don't
Speaker 1: also take time to rest. And one weekend, I used
Speaker 1: to always like work through the weekends. I'm like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it doesn't really bother me. If I answer emails on
Speaker 1: the weekend, it's not a big deal. But then one
Speaker 1: weekend I actually took that weekend off and didn't answer
Speaker 1: my emails, and Monday I felt so much better and
Speaker 1: more refreshed. And so now it's really important for me
Speaker 1: to take those breaks. So I did go through periods
Speaker 1: of burnout of over creating and going to too many things.
Speaker 1: And in college I had a stomach alcer because I
Speaker 1: took on too much, and I physically was burnt out
Speaker 1: in my body because I was doing too much. And
Speaker 1: so I know that I need those periods of rest.
Speaker 1: But I know it's hard when you're freelance. I know
Speaker 1: it's hard when you're a creator, and there's so many
Speaker 1: jobs who are freelance who don't have you know, certain
Speaker 1: hour set for themselves, so it is important for them to,
Speaker 1: you know, want to make an income, especially if you're
Speaker 1: solely supporting yourself or a family, And so I know
Speaker 1: those things are difficulty. You've talked about energy drains and
Speaker 1: energy gives before. Walk us through that, because I think
Speaker 1: everyone feels that, whether it's people, places, projects, we all
Speaker 1: feel that certain people drain us, certain projects give us energy.
Speaker 1: Walk us through your version of that. Yeah, my energy
Speaker 1: drainers are saying yes to too many things. So saying
Speaker 1: no to me is what gives me energy. And I
Speaker 1: know that saying no might seem difficult at first, especially
Speaker 1: when you have opportunities that come to you and you
Speaker 1: want to say yes to everything. But saying yes to
Speaker 1: things I absolutely want to do has been so helpful.
Speaker 1: I am in a place now where I can say
Speaker 1: no because I feel like I worked hard in my
Speaker 1: twenties to get to where I am today that I
Speaker 1: have the ability to say no to things. But those
Speaker 1: nos also are important because it's gotten me to the
Speaker 1: jobs I want to do, the brands I want to
Speaker 1: work with. I think if you say yes to too
Speaker 1: many things, you might dilute yourself doing too many things.
Speaker 1: So saying yes to the things that are in alignment
Speaker 1: with the content you want to create, the brands you
Speaker 1: want to work with, the long term goals, so you
Speaker 1: have for yourself personally and professionally. Other energy drainers that
Speaker 1: I have are not doing my morning routine, in my
Speaker 1: evening routine, So really setting myself up for the day
Speaker 1: sets me up for success. I get up in the morning,
Speaker 1: I usually meditate a gratitude journal, I do like a
Speaker 1: little stretch, I drink my water, and even like just
Speaker 1: a few things in the morning set me up because
Speaker 1: if I wake up and I just instantly start doing things,
Speaker 1: there's no time for me, just like in myself, to
Speaker 1: turn off, and then I'm kind of just thinking all
Speaker 1: day long. Other energy drainers, sometimes it's work and people.
Speaker 1: And I know that that one's a really difficult one
Speaker 1: to have boundaries around because you maybe cannot control who
Speaker 1: you have to be around with work or people that
Speaker 1: you have to spend your time with. So it's creating
Speaker 1: boundaries around those people and things to make you feel
Speaker 1: your best. So maybe it's at work you don't sit
Speaker 1: next to that person or you, you know, focus on
Speaker 1: working on yourself when you're at work so you don't
Speaker 1: have to be near them too much. Because I know
Speaker 1: that we can't always like eliminate energy drainers in our life,
Speaker 1: and if it's someone in our life personally, it's difficult.
Speaker 1: But as I've gotten older, I realize, Okay, this person
Speaker 1: and this friend is draining my energy. When I'm around them,
Speaker 1: I don't feel great. I don't feel better after I
Speaker 1: left them. I almost feel more drained just being around them.
Speaker 1: And so I can love you from a distance. I
Speaker 1: still love you, I still like you, but I don't
Speaker 1: have to spend a lot of time with you, and
Speaker 1: that's okay. I can support you from afar, but I
Speaker 1: know that if I'm around you, I don't feel my best.
Speaker 1: And I want more of those energy givers in my life,
Speaker 1: like who do I hang out with? And I feel
Speaker 1: better after I leave them? Like who makes me feel
Speaker 1: happier and whole, motivated, energized. And I always love being
Speaker 1: around you because whenever I see you, you make us
Speaker 1: feel so great. You're such a great friend. Our friend
Speaker 1: Audrey is another one of them. Yeah, you guys are
Speaker 1: not giving to my mind. With Audrey, I like Audrey.
Speaker 1: We love you Audrey, and she really is one of
Speaker 1: those people where you want to be around people who
Speaker 1: are good like that. You want people who make you
Speaker 1: feel your best. And so as I've gotten older, it's
Speaker 1: less about quantity of friends, it's quality of friends. And
Speaker 1: I choose to spend time with the people in my
Speaker 1: life who give me energy and make me feel my best.
Speaker 1: Because if you've noticed that after you leave a friend
Speaker 1: and maybe you're a little bit tired or drained, or
Speaker 1: you're just like whoa when you left them, like, it's
Speaker 1: okay to start like phasing out people and love them
Speaker 1: from afar. Yeah, I couldn't agree more with that. I
Speaker 1: saw this tweet that said my circle is shrunk in
Speaker 1: size but increased in value, And I think that that's
Speaker 1: the mindset that you're sharing them. I think that's something
Speaker 1: people struggle with. I think we feel guilty because we
Speaker 1: feel like we're leaving friends behind, or we feel bad
Speaker 1: because we feel people are going to think we're better
Speaker 1: than them. Like when you move on from a group,
Speaker 1: you're often worried about the perception that those group of
Speaker 1: people are going to think or Jay or Mariana think
Speaker 1: that they're better, and it's like, well, you're not leaving
Speaker 1: because you think you're better. You're leaving because you want
Speaker 1: to be better and you want to grow. How have
Speaker 1: you kind of outgrown groups or do you feel you've
Speaker 1: generally had a group that's grown with you, but or
Speaker 1: have you had to let go of Yeah, friendships, relationships
Speaker 1: and things. I have a core like five people who
Speaker 1: have been with me for like over a decade, so
Speaker 1: that these are constants in my life. Like Audrey, we
Speaker 1: met in two thousand and six, so that's like sixteen
Speaker 1: years ago, so we're friends for a very long time.
Speaker 1: So it's like I had this core group of people
Speaker 1: who are very core to who I am. They know
Speaker 1: me in my personal life. This is who I want
Speaker 1: to spend my time with. Like it's not about content
Speaker 1: or online or anything. It's just like who do I
Speaker 1: want to sit on my couch with, like scroll on
Speaker 1: my phone or watch TV or just hang out with.
Speaker 1: And those people are really important to me. I have
Speaker 1: a lot of acquaintances and people that we know just
Speaker 1: from work and being around people, and I just know,
Speaker 1: like I don't have to be overly close with a
Speaker 1: lot of people, and that's okay. And I think a
Speaker 1: lesson that I learned now in my thirties was that
Speaker 1: a smaller circle is fine. In my twenties, I think,
Speaker 1: you move to Los Angeles, you want to make all
Speaker 1: these friends, you want to be around all these people,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, wait, I don't feel great when
Speaker 1: I'm around them. I don't feel like myself. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to have to be someone i'm not
Speaker 1: or proved to them that I'm something. And I don't
Speaker 1: want to do those things, Like I want to be
Speaker 1: truly who I am authentically. And as I got into
Speaker 1: my thirties, I realize it's okay that my circle is smaller,
Speaker 1: Like it's okay to have these people who I know
Speaker 1: love me and are there for me no matter what,
Speaker 1: and then everyone else is a bonus. Yeah. Absolutely, And
Speaker 1: I love that you did that. Like I think if
Speaker 1: we started seeing our relationships as degrees of connection as
Speaker 1: opposed to like friends and not friends, yeah, it becomes
Speaker 1: a lot easier to know how much time and how
Speaker 1: much energy to give someone When you decide to make
Speaker 1: that transition from creating content for amazing brands prestige brands,
Speaker 1: and you're making the switch to being like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be a founder. I'm going to create sum of Fridays.
Speaker 1: When you're making that transition, walk us through some of
Speaker 1: the things you thought about, because today I find that
Speaker 1: everyone feels the pressure now, just as we felt the
Speaker 1: pressure when we were growing up to work at a
Speaker 1: big company or a well known organization. Today the pressure
Speaker 1: is everyone should be an entrepreneur and found their own company.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's kind of like the energy and
Speaker 1: everyone thinks like they have to launch something or whatever.
Speaker 1: When you're going from selling other people's things to saying
Speaker 1: I'm actually becoming a founder, what are the questions you
Speaker 1: think people should be asking. What are the insights they
Speaker 1: should be considering, Because I think it's very easy for
Speaker 1: everyone today to think, oh, i've got a few followers,
Speaker 1: I should launch something, or because I'm connected, I should
Speaker 1: do this, And I don't think that that always works out.
Speaker 1: Obviously it's worked out for you, So I'm wondering what
Speaker 1: were the things you had to think about. I think
Speaker 1: if I had to go back and tell myself when
Speaker 1: we started the brand, what do I wish that I knew,
Speaker 1: and I wish that somebody would have asked me, which
Speaker 1: it's all the things that I love now, but like,
Speaker 1: do you really want to run a company? Like the
Speaker 1: days that we launch a product, Let's say we launch
Speaker 1: fry products a year, that's five of three sixty five,
Speaker 1: So the other three hundred and sixty days you really
Speaker 1: want to work on a business? Do you really want
Speaker 1: to work on a company? Do you want to be
Speaker 1: a manager of people? Do you want to run the
Speaker 1: finances and operations? Like it's all of those not fun
Speaker 1: things that you do every day. And so I would
Speaker 1: just ask yourself before starting a business, like do I
Speaker 1: really want a business because I love running a company?
Speaker 1: Or do I just want to say I have my
Speaker 1: own company? And that's fine if you don't love some
Speaker 1: of the other stuff. And so Lauren, who's my co
Speaker 1: founder of Summer Fridays, we have no ego in saying
Speaker 1: there's things we either don't want to do or we
Speaker 1: don't know how to do. And once we grew a
Speaker 1: little bit after our first couple of years, we were
Speaker 1: able to hire for the things that we didn't know
Speaker 1: how to do because we really wanted to bring the
Speaker 1: best people in to run the business who we felt
Speaker 1: like could get us to the next level. I think
Speaker 1: it's difficult when you're starting a business because running a
Speaker 1: company is actually just so difficult. The day and day
Speaker 1: out of production of the company, of the items, like
Speaker 1: selling the things, getting them online. Those things are not
Speaker 1: the sexy fun parts of the job, and you have
Speaker 1: to really want to do that because at the very beginning,
Speaker 1: you have very small teams. It's basically yourself, maybe a
Speaker 1: couple other people, and you're not making a lot of
Speaker 1: money for the first few years. I think there may
Speaker 1: be a misconception of like, oh, you start a brand
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, you're rich and you
Speaker 1: have all this money, and that's definitely not the case.
Speaker 1: It takes a long time because whatever you invested into
Speaker 1: the business and you sell stuff, you're just recouping your
Speaker 1: money for what you've already invested. And then as you grow,
Speaker 1: you make a little bit of money, you put it
Speaker 1: back into the business. You hire a person, and then
Speaker 1: you hire someone else. And so the first few years
Speaker 1: of summer Fridays, we didn't pay ourselves because we thought
Speaker 1: it was more important to invest back into the company.
Speaker 1: So if you're thinking about starting a business as yourself,
Speaker 1: Do I actually want to run a company? And if
Speaker 1: you do, great. If you don't, then maybe say, like
Speaker 1: what am I good at? Like what am I passionate about?
Speaker 1: What do I love so much? Why do I maybe
Speaker 1: want to start a company? Is it because you love
Speaker 1: the creative? There's so many creative jobs. You could be
Speaker 1: a creative director, you could work at an ad agency,
Speaker 1: you could consult for brands. If you love creating product,
Speaker 1: maybe you help someone with product development. There's so many
Speaker 1: skills that we learn as creators. Find what you love
Speaker 1: best and then offer that as a service to other brands.
Speaker 1: So something I love is like branding and marketing, and
Speaker 1: I think in life this is just one of the
Speaker 1: first things that I will do, of many, and I
Speaker 1: hope in the future I can consult for brands and
Speaker 1: work for them on branding and marketing because that's something
Speaker 1: I'm passionate about. So I would love to continue to
Speaker 1: do that over a portfolio of them. And I know,
Speaker 1: like the actual starting of the business is difficult, so
Speaker 1: I don't know how many more times I could do
Speaker 1: that part of it. Now that we're here, I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful but I just wish I would have known going
Speaker 1: into it how hard the actual starting of the business
Speaker 1: and running of the business data day is. Think about
Speaker 1: the way your team works right now. If all the
Speaker 1: work is spread out across different documents, spreadsheets, and a
Speaker 1: stack of workflow tools, it's tougher to focus on getting
Speaker 1: things done, let alone getting them done together. This is
Speaker 1: why you need CODA. CODA is the dock that brings
Speaker 1: it all together by putting data in one centralized location,
Speaker 1: regardless of format, eliminating roadblocks that can stop your team
Speaker 1: in their tracks. With CODA, you'll never ask where are
Speaker 1: the latest project updates? Anyone know where the performance stats are?
Speaker 1: Is there a report about licenses I can see? This
Speaker 1: is what slows down productivity and collaboration. With CODA, your
Speaker 1: team can operate on the same information and collaborate in
Speaker 1: one place to get projects across the finish line faster.
Speaker 1: CODA dot Io is an all in one platform that
Speaker 1: can do document creation, project management, data analysis, and more.
Speaker 1: What I really like about it is the fact that
Speaker 1: it's super flexible and customizable, so it can easily fit
Speaker 1: into any workflow and if you're working on a team project,
Speaker 1: it's got great collaboration features too. Whether you're running a
Speaker 1: small business or a large corporation, I think Coda dot
Speaker 1: Io is definitely worth checking out if you want to
Speaker 1: streamline your workflow and increase productivity. If you're ready to
Speaker 1: join the efficiency revolution with Coda, you can get started
Speaker 1: today for free. Head over to Coda dot Io Forward
Speaker 1: Slash Purpose that coo da dot Io and get started
Speaker 1: for free Coda dot Io Forward Slash Purpose. This show
Speaker 1: is sponsored by Better Help. When you're at your best,
Speaker 1: you can do great things, but sometimes life gets you
Speaker 1: bogged down and you may feel overwhelmed or like you're
Speaker 1: not showing up the way that you want to. Working
Speaker 1: with a therapist can help you get closer to the
Speaker 1: best version of you. Therapy is a great way to
Speaker 1: learn about coping skills, how to set healthy boundaries, empower
Speaker 1: yourself to make big decisions, and learn how to deal
Speaker 1: with trauma that could be holding you back. If you're
Speaker 1: thinking of giving therapy a try, Better Help is a
Speaker 1: great option. It's convenient, flexible, affordable, and entirely online. Just
Speaker 1: fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a
Speaker 1: licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge.
Speaker 1: Therapy can be a great way to empower yourself, to
Speaker 1: start setting healthy boundaries, to heal the past that may
Speaker 1: still be holding you back consciously or subconsciously, or to
Speaker 1: even just learn better mindsets to cope with life's everyday stresses.
Speaker 1: If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy
Speaker 1: can get you there. To see my top three reasons
Speaker 1: why you should try online therapy, visit better Help dot
Speaker 1: Com forward slash Jay's top three That's better HLP dot
Speaker 1: com forward slash Jay's top three, and get ten percent
Speaker 1: off your first month of online therapy when you sign up.
Speaker 1: It's just a great way to look at it because
Speaker 1: often you end up starting something, you put a lot
Speaker 1: into it, and then you realize it's not what you wanted,
Speaker 1: Like you didn't want your ninety percent of your life
Speaker 1: to be operations strategy management HR. And people don't realize that.
Speaker 1: Often when we see entrepreneurs living their greatest life, we
Speaker 1: look at it and we go, oh, they just do
Speaker 1: what they love all day, and it's not true. Right
Speaker 1: me included, I there are so many things I have
Speaker 1: to do, and there are so many things I want
Speaker 1: to do, and I've accepted that that's how my life
Speaker 1: is split up. And there's also knowing what to start.
Speaker 1: Like when I look at my career, there are things
Speaker 1: like this podcast that we started, my Genius community that
Speaker 1: we started. But then there were amazing partnerships like me
Speaker 1: being chief Purpose Officer at Calm, which was just a
Speaker 1: brilliant synergy because I was friends with the founders for
Speaker 1: four years. They were already solving a problem that I
Speaker 1: deeply believed in, and I would rather join forces than
Speaker 1: go and build something to compete with my friends. Well,
Speaker 1: it's already an existing, incredible platform. So it's like if
Speaker 1: I can plug into what you already have created and
Speaker 1: I can make it even better by coming on board,
Speaker 1: we can make this really great instead of me having
Speaker 1: something that I'm trying to build and takes time. And
Speaker 1: so I think you can think about, like what are
Speaker 1: you uniquely good at? What skills can I offer someone else?
Speaker 1: And go work with a company, go consult for people,
Speaker 1: and then see from there. Maybe I do want to
Speaker 1: start my own thing, or I can do this with
Speaker 1: other people. And so if there's a brand you love,
Speaker 1: maybe reach out to them, like let me create a
Speaker 1: director shoot for you, Like let me help you with
Speaker 1: social and you never know what person will say yes.
Speaker 1: Because as creators, I think we wear so many hats
Speaker 1: and we can be good at so many things, and
Speaker 1: you can take what you love as a creator and
Speaker 1: then do that on a larger scale with more budget,
Speaker 1: working for brands and people that you love. Exactly did
Speaker 1: you ever raise or did you choose not to? We
Speaker 1: raise money, so we ended up we'll geus through the
Speaker 1: choice of that and then that processes, so Summer Fridays
Speaker 1: was self funded and then we ended up raising money
Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen. So we had a really great first year,
Speaker 1: but we were running everything ourselves. We had the two
Speaker 1: of us, an employee, a couple consultants, and we were
Speaker 1: on the sales calls, we were running our retail accounts.
Speaker 1: But we really didn't know best how to do these things,
Speaker 1: and it was almost a disservice to ourselves by trying
Speaker 1: to figure it out ourselves. Like we got us to
Speaker 1: a really great point, but we saw we have a
Speaker 1: best seller, it's working really well. What can we do
Speaker 1: to take our brand to the next level and not
Speaker 1: lose the momentum that we had. So when we first
Speaker 1: launched a brand, people started reaching out to us, and
Speaker 1: raising money is a bit like dating, so you want
Speaker 1: to date and meet everyone, and we met any and everyone,
Speaker 1: and then you kind of see, like who do you like?
Speaker 1: Who do you enjoy spending time with? Like do I
Speaker 1: really want to talk to these people every day? And
Speaker 1: a business is like a marriage, and there's a contract
Speaker 1: like sometimes in marriages there are, and so you're getting
Speaker 1: into a marriage with now another person into your business,
Speaker 1: so you have to ask yourselves, like are these people trustworthy?
Speaker 1: Do we have the same end goal? Do I really
Speaker 1: trust that they want what's best for my brand and
Speaker 1: that if I really want something, they're going to listen
Speaker 1: to what I want and not because they're an invest
Speaker 1: and they're going to take control of something. And so
Speaker 1: we ended up going with a group and they have
Speaker 1: a minority investment, which is very small, so it means
Speaker 1: like we still own the majority of the business, so
Speaker 1: we have the majority of the sad things. But it
Speaker 1: was two females who founded it and they're incredible and
Speaker 1: they almost served like an intermediate president for us and
Speaker 1: helped us with hiring our org, chart what things to
Speaker 1: do next, and it really was the right fit for
Speaker 1: us and they weren't the biggest place that we went
Speaker 1: out to, They didn't have the largest portfolio with the
Speaker 1: biggest investment they were making into the brand. But it
Speaker 1: was two people we trusted and a lot of our
Speaker 1: friends are like, you're the only people we know that
Speaker 1: like your investors, and we really do. And they're incredible.
Speaker 1: So they have a great portfolio brands including like Westman, Attilier,
Speaker 1: Soul Dejanniro. In food, they have fly By Jing and
Speaker 1: Bonza Pasta. So they focused in like good for you
Speaker 1: brands in food and beauty, and so we are so
Speaker 1: grateful to have them. So then after that, after we
Speaker 1: raise a little bit of money, we were able to
Speaker 1: hire more people and our first big hire was a CEO.
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people when they start
Speaker 1: a business, like they have a dream of becoming a
Speaker 1: CEO and running a brand, and that was never what
Speaker 1: Lauren and I wanted for ourselves. And we have no
Speaker 1: ego in saying like I don't want to be the CEO,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to run the entire business because one,
Speaker 1: I've never done this before, and that's fine if you
Speaker 1: haven't and you want to figure it out along the way.
Speaker 1: But we knew like what we're good at as product development, marketing, branding,
Speaker 1: anything that's consumer facing. And bringing on someone who could
Speaker 1: really run the business day to day so that I
Speaker 1: can create content, I can be on podcasts, like I
Speaker 1: can do the other things with my time was important
Speaker 1: to us. And someone whose values really aligned with the
Speaker 1: things that we wanted. So a company culture is really
Speaker 1: important to us. And as we interviewed for the CEO role,
Speaker 1: it was someone who led with kindness, who people were
Speaker 1: excited to work for. And so we ended up bringing
Speaker 1: on a CEO in twenty twenty, right before the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and so grateful for our CEO, and so between them,
Speaker 1: it's been really incredible to get the brand where it
Speaker 1: is today. And I don't think it's possible without them.
Speaker 1: And so I think you are if you have a
Speaker 1: business and you're thinking about either partners or raising money,
Speaker 1: you really want to make sure that you want this
Speaker 1: people to be in your marriage with you and that
Speaker 1: your baby, which is your business. You guys all have
Speaker 1: the same goals aligned for where you want it to go,
Speaker 1: because then all the decisions are easier because you're all
Speaker 1: on the same page versus a group wanting one thing,
Speaker 1: and then another group wanting something else. It just sounds
Speaker 1: like you really know what's important to you, and you're
Speaker 1: willing to do what's important to you and what you're
Speaker 1: good at and what you value, and then there's all
Speaker 1: this other stuff that you realize where we have to
Speaker 1: find someone for that. We have to figure this out,
Speaker 1: This needs to be shifted. How do you decipher between
Speaker 1: what's important to you and what you think is important?
Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of people, again, when they
Speaker 1: start something, they put the pressure of I have to
Speaker 1: be CEO because it's my baby, and if I'm not CEO,
Speaker 1: then someone else will think I'm just this or I'm
Speaker 1: just that. You don't strike me as someone who worries
Speaker 1: about what other people think of you or what you do.
Speaker 1: Where does that come from? And how do you define
Speaker 1: or decide what's important to you. I live my life
Speaker 1: day to day me myself. I'm not living my life
Speaker 1: for other people. So if I'm so concerned with being
Speaker 1: called CEO, I'm going to take on a role because
Speaker 1: care the other people think that this is my title.
Speaker 1: But I have to do something every day that I
Speaker 1: don't enjoy. That makes no sense. So Why would I
Speaker 1: live my life for this title for other people's opinions
Speaker 1: when this is what I want to do within the business,
Speaker 1: and this is what's important to me. And so I
Speaker 1: like to take inventory of my life pretty frequently. So
Speaker 1: I usually do like my New Year's goals and intentions.
Speaker 1: I like to call them intentions not goals, because it's
Speaker 1: what I intend on doing for the year. And then
Speaker 1: I'm always checking in myself with like my journal every day.
Speaker 1: So it's like what's important to me? How do I
Speaker 1: want to feel today? What things do I love? And
Speaker 1: so I'll go through and I'll make like a note
Speaker 1: on my phone of like what are my energy drainers
Speaker 1: right now? Like what do I not like doing? What
Speaker 1: of these things can I eliminate? And if it's running
Speaker 1: the finances of the business, like I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that, So who can we hire eventually to do
Speaker 1: this thing? And so it's eventually just like taking less
Speaker 1: of those drainers off of my plate and so I
Speaker 1: can really focus my time on the things that I'm
Speaker 1: good at and I enjoy doing. I think it's difficult
Speaker 1: for people, especially women, if you have been calling yourself
Speaker 1: a CEO in the company, then you have to make
Speaker 1: this announcement like, oh, I step down a CEO because
Speaker 1: we hired somebody. We never intended to be the CEOs
Speaker 1: of the business, so we didn't call ourselves that in
Speaker 1: the first place. So if and when the time came,
Speaker 1: we weren't like it wasn't that we were stepping down
Speaker 1: to CEOs, was that we just never had CEOs. We
Speaker 1: started the company, and a CEO as somebody who can
Speaker 1: help run the business when it gets to that phase.
Speaker 1: And so I think it's about taking your ego out
Speaker 1: of it and like, what do you really want to
Speaker 1: spend your time doing every day and just focus on
Speaker 1: that and not what other people think about what Most
Speaker 1: people probably don't even know what people's titles are anyway.
Speaker 1: It's like whether you're the founder or the CEO or
Speaker 1: the whatever it is you are, most people don't know.
Speaker 1: They just think of it as your business and so
Speaker 1: don't so much worry about that, Or you're going to
Speaker 1: spend your time every day doing something you don't actually
Speaker 1: want to do and you're not going to be happy,
Speaker 1: and then the business might suffer because of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've talked so much about habits and routines, like you
Speaker 1: have a morning routine, an evening routine. You just talked
Speaker 1: about your journaling habit, your intentions for with these things
Speaker 1: that became a part of your life over time, and
Speaker 1: if you could walk us through one of them or
Speaker 1: a couple of them in depth of your actual practice.
Speaker 1: So I'd love to hear about what is your person
Speaker 1: meditation practice, and then anyone other one that you pick
Speaker 1: that just woke us through it, because I think we
Speaker 1: see this in successful ceo, successful founders, entrepreneurs, and just happier,
Speaker 1: healthier people that routine and a commitment to practices are
Speaker 1: really beneficial in their life. What are some of yours
Speaker 1: that you can woke us through with a bit more?
Speaker 1: Yea yeah. So on the podcast, I kept interviewing people
Speaker 1: and everyone talked about a morning routine and meditation, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, if all of these really successful people that
Speaker 1: I admire do this, there's got to be something to it.
Speaker 1: So pre pandemic, I was just waking up, working, going
Speaker 1: to sleep, working on the weekends. I had no routine
Speaker 1: in schedule. That was not great for me. But during
Speaker 1: the pandemic, I actually had time for myself to pick
Speaker 1: up a meditation habit to figure out how to journal,
Speaker 1: to make a morning routine for myself. So I started
Speaker 1: doing a morning routine because I thought other people were
Speaker 1: doing it, and I think that's where I failed at first,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, these people do these things in
Speaker 1: their morning routine. I need to wake up and work out.
Speaker 1: I need to wake up and do this. But those
Speaker 1: things didn't work for me. So it was trying something
Speaker 1: for a week, do I better yes or no? What
Speaker 1: things should I eliminate and what things should I keep?
Speaker 1: And I got it to a routine of the things
Speaker 1: that feel best for me. Those five things might not
Speaker 1: work for you, but it's the things that work best
Speaker 1: for me, and so it's trial and error figuring out
Speaker 1: how can I set myself out best for the day. Basically,
Speaker 1: once I start working in the day, my mind is
Speaker 1: going at all times, and I am always someone who's
Speaker 1: thinking of fifty different things. And so meditation is the
Speaker 1: only time in my day where I'm actually just sitting
Speaker 1: and being and thinking of either the meditation that's happening
Speaker 1: if it's guided, or I do like a thirteen to
Speaker 1: twenty meditation where there's no music, there's no guiding i
Speaker 1: just have like a bell that goes and I'm just
Speaker 1: sitting and breathing, and I'm never in stillness all day.
Speaker 1: I'm on my phone, the computer, and so having that
Speaker 1: time for myself really just is like a great way
Speaker 1: to start the day. And then another thing is the intentions.
Speaker 1: And I mentioned before I like to call them intentions
Speaker 1: instead of goals because I think we might feel like
Speaker 1: we didn't meet our goals if we didn't do this
Speaker 1: thing that we set out on a piece of paper
Speaker 1: to cross off. But if it's my intention to do
Speaker 1: my morning routine every day, I'm intending to do it.
Speaker 1: But if I don't feel like a failure because I
Speaker 1: only did it five days this week, Or if I
Speaker 1: intend to live a healthier life and eat well and
Speaker 1: work out because I want to fuel my body, that's
Speaker 1: my intention instead of being like, oh, I have to
Speaker 1: be this weight, or I want to do this thing
Speaker 1: or be at this goal. I think it's a lot
Speaker 1: kinder with yourself, so then you feel more motivated by
Speaker 1: actually doing them and checking them off versus I didn't
Speaker 1: complete this goal for myself. I think it's also great
Speaker 1: to set actual tangible goals you can do, but also
Speaker 1: know that some goals are out of our control. So
Speaker 1: if you want to hit a certain number follower or
Speaker 1: a subscriber or a download count, you cannot control that.
Speaker 1: You can create the best content you can, but you
Speaker 1: can't make someone watch the content. You can't make them
Speaker 1: download or follow. So what you don't want to do
Speaker 1: is say like I have to hit a million followers
Speaker 1: by the end of the year, and if you don't
Speaker 1: hit it, be upset. You can say I intend to
Speaker 1: create the best community this year that I can. I
Speaker 1: want the followers that are there to love me and
Speaker 1: be happy with the content I create, And then you
Speaker 1: can ask yourself are they happy? Am I fulfilled with
Speaker 1: the content I'm creating? And then that intention can be
Speaker 1: crossed off versus being disappointed that you didn't hit this
Speaker 1: number that was out of your control to begin with.
Speaker 1: So those intentions are really important for me. And then
Speaker 1: within the business, we do set goals for ourselves of
Speaker 1: things that we want to do, and then set realistic
Speaker 1: expectations for ourselves of like what do we think we
Speaker 1: actually can do versus like insaying goals that you might
Speaker 1: not get to and then always feeling sad if if
Speaker 1: you're not hitting them. I love the way you just
Speaker 1: describe the difference between intentions and goals. I hope everyone
Speaker 1: because you know, whenever you're setting news resolutions or setting goals,
Speaker 1: you're setting new quarterly goals. Like that language needs to
Speaker 1: change because goals what you want out of something, and
Speaker 1: intentions of what you put into something, and you only
Speaker 1: get out what you put in. And I love that.
Speaker 1: It's so much better to measure yourself against your intentions.
Speaker 1: Measuring yourself against your goals will always make you feel
Speaker 1: like a failure. Yeah, And I think something I've learned
Speaker 1: recently too is I can have goals and intentions for
Speaker 1: myself the things that I'm working towards because I want
Speaker 1: great things in life. Like I'm doing all the things
Speaker 1: I want because I have these big things that I
Speaker 1: think I can accomplish. But I can do that while
Speaker 1: still being present and happy with where I am today.
Speaker 1: And that's come from really being in my thirties. So
Speaker 1: before I was always you know, when you're younger, you're like,
Speaker 1: I have to be married and have kids by thirty.
Speaker 1: I have to do this, like Forbes thirty under thirty,
Speaker 1: I have to do all these things by this age.
Speaker 1: But it's like, why when life is long? And one
Speaker 1: of the best exercises I did for myself was I
Speaker 1: wrote down everything I wanted to accomplish in my life
Speaker 1: and the age I thought it might happen. When I
Speaker 1: got to forty five, I had nothing left there was,
Speaker 1: I had nothing left to reach. And I'm like, if
Speaker 1: I accomplish all these things by forty five, I'm going
Speaker 1: to live for decades longer. What more do I have
Speaker 1: to look forward to in the years to come? That
Speaker 1: gave me so much pause to enjoy the journey I'm on.
Speaker 1: Enjoy where I'm at today, Be happy because these things
Speaker 1: we have today, the things we get to do, the
Speaker 1: jobs we get to do, the brands we get to
Speaker 1: work with, the opportunities we have, We wished for the
Speaker 1: things we have now. So I don't want to rush
Speaker 1: through them just trying to get to where I'm trying
Speaker 1: to go. I want to be happy where I am today.
Speaker 1: I know it's going to come in time, and if
Speaker 1: it's a little bit later than I thought, it's fine
Speaker 1: because I have so many more years left of my
Speaker 1: life to do all these things that I hope to accomplish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's such a great exercise that if you did write
Speaker 1: down everything you wanted to do, most people would put
Speaker 1: the end date as like thirty or forty years forty five,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you should have achieved everything in life
Speaker 1: so much longer than that, and there's so many more
Speaker 1: gaps in between. I had a friend who recently found
Speaker 1: love and his business and his work took a bit
Speaker 1: of a back burner, but he found someone that he
Speaker 1: really wants to spend a lot of time with him.
Speaker 1: That's what he was doing. And I was saying, you
Speaker 1: just won, right, like you could see that as like
Speaker 1: two years out in your business journey, and so now
Speaker 1: his business is two years behind. But I was like,
Speaker 1: you've just saved yourself years because you found a partner
Speaker 1: that you're really connected to. And I think often we
Speaker 1: think of it as like they're separate, like there's work
Speaker 1: and then there's life, and it's like, well, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: there's so inter related. The way you just share that
Speaker 1: is spectacular. Like I hope everyone writes that down takes
Speaker 1: that away. VERA, what are you working on right now?
Speaker 1: I feel like you're someone who because you start therapy
Speaker 1: at six, which is just like that, that's another incredible thing.
Speaker 1: But like, what are you working on right now personally,
Speaker 1: what's something that you're grappling with, What's something that you're
Speaker 1: wanting to be better at for yourself, for your friends,
Speaker 1: your family, whatever, anything around you. I think the presence
Speaker 1: is a big thing for me. I think because I
Speaker 1: used to focus so much on the future and the
Speaker 1: things I wanted for themselves. That exercise really did change
Speaker 1: my mindset. So having a gratitude journal and writing down
Speaker 1: every day. I think a lot of times we're busy
Speaker 1: in our days in our career, it's like, oh, I
Speaker 1: have to go do this, I have to do this today.
Speaker 1: But it's not I have to do it's I get
Speaker 1: to do so I get to go work here, I
Speaker 1: get to go to this opportunity, instead of I have
Speaker 1: to do these things. And that really changed my mindset
Speaker 1: of being grateful for what I get to do every
Speaker 1: single day and really focusing on that and not being
Speaker 1: so stressed about things happening in a certain year or age.
Speaker 1: I'm thirty six now, and I keep feeling like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm still not ready to do all these things, like
Speaker 1: I'm still so young. I think the older I get
Speaker 1: the younger, I still feel where when I was in
Speaker 1: my twenties, I was like, oh, I'm getting so older, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: thirty six is so old. But now that I'm thirty six,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, it's still so young. So I think
Speaker 1: focusing on the present, being happy with where I am today,
Speaker 1: the things I have today, and practicing that gratitude each
Speaker 1: and every day. And then I think, as I've gotten
Speaker 1: older too, because my parents are older, taking care of
Speaker 1: my health. It's not about vanity, It's about how do
Speaker 1: I feel my best, how do I stay active. My
Speaker 1: parents are really young and smart in their minds and
Speaker 1: their bodies. They still travel by themselves. They're very independent people,
Speaker 1: and I think it's because they've taken care of themselves.
Speaker 1: And my dad does the cross word every day, he
Speaker 1: reads books. My mom's very independent. I think keeping your
Speaker 1: mind young and so doing things for brain health. Now
Speaker 1: that we're getting older, I'm like, okay, vrain health, higher health, mobility,
Speaker 1: those things are all important of taking care of yourself,
Speaker 1: not just for Vanity's sake, but for the health of
Speaker 1: yourself so that you can be your best self in
Speaker 1: decades to come. Because I hope when I'm sixty seventy
Speaker 1: eighty ninety. I'm still able to do a lot of
Speaker 1: things that I don't feel stagnant in my body because
Speaker 1: I let my age catch up with me. I'm in
Speaker 1: the same boat as you. I feel like your thirties
Speaker 1: are really for that, where like your twenties you still
Speaker 1: feel like a super person. And then in your thirties
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, wait a minute, there is something known
Speaker 1: as getting older physically, I mean, and you start just
Speaker 1: becoming aware of how much your body has been through
Speaker 1: because you could, and then you go, why would I
Speaker 1: want to put my body through that anymore? Like why
Speaker 1: would I do that damage to my body? And I'm
Speaker 1: definitely with you on that. I'm spending so much time
Speaker 1: reading about longevity and learning about longevity and because not
Speaker 1: because I want to live longer or for vanity, but
Speaker 1: I want to live healthier for longer. And I think
Speaker 1: that's the difference, right, Yeah. I think health is so
Speaker 1: important to us and taking care of ourselves, what we eat,
Speaker 1: what we put into our bodies, how we spend our time,
Speaker 1: our brain, our energy, all of these things, because we
Speaker 1: do want to have lower cortisol levels for the rest
Speaker 1: of our lives and have quality sleep so that our
Speaker 1: brain health is there, so that we feel best in
Speaker 1: our mind to function every single day. And so I
Speaker 1: do want to live a long, healthy, youthful, smart life
Speaker 1: where I can do so many things for decades to come,
Speaker 1: and so those things are so important to me. So
Speaker 1: it's like watching documentaries around blue zones and like what
Speaker 1: are they doing here and how do they live longer, healthier,
Speaker 1: happier lives, And so those things are so important, especially
Speaker 1: our health, because we know, like when you don't feel good,
Speaker 1: there's nothing you can do about it. So it's like
Speaker 1: the second I got sick recently and like as soon
Speaker 1: as I was done, I was like, wow, I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful for my body. I'm so grateful for my immune
Speaker 1: system and my good health, because when you feel bad,
Speaker 1: you take for granted the days that you feel good.
Speaker 1: So it's really about thinking about your gratitude each day
Speaker 1: of feeling good in your body and the days that
Speaker 1: you feel good. So one of the things I write
Speaker 1: down in my journal is I am grateful for my
Speaker 1: body and mind and soul. I'm happy for my physical
Speaker 1: and mental health and happiness because that's so important to me.
Speaker 1: Because it's not just like my physical health, but like,
Speaker 1: how do I feel in my mind? Do I feel happy?
Speaker 1: And you know, on the days when you don't feel
Speaker 1: so happy, you have so much gratitude for the days
Speaker 1: that you do feel good mentally absolutely absolutely, And I
Speaker 1: feel like you're high performer, you're massively ambitious, you're like
Speaker 1: optimal peak performance individual, and I can relate to them.
Speaker 1: What that comes with is you naturally have higher quarters
Speaker 1: our levels because you're doing more stressful things. Right Like
Speaker 1: when Kobe Bryant's playing in the final of a game,
Speaker 1: it's like he's having to deal with more stress and
Speaker 1: then perform but then recover as fast, right, And that's
Speaker 1: all the best athletes. The World Cup's going on right now,
Speaker 1: and it's the same thing. All the best soccer players
Speaker 1: in the world are dealing with more stress. It's not
Speaker 1: that they don't feel stress when they play at that
Speaker 1: high level. So what are some of the things. I mean,
Speaker 1: you've given us so many habits, But that's just something
Speaker 1: because it's on my mind too. I'm thinking that if
Speaker 1: I and I'm speaking to anyone who's listening who thinks
Speaker 1: they're really ambitious, they're big goals or big intentions. But
Speaker 1: then at the same time, then you have to be
Speaker 1: even more on top of your quarters our levels because
Speaker 1: you're naturally going to experience more stress. Yeah, this morning,
Speaker 1: I was talking to someone and she was like, what
Speaker 1: workouts are you doing? I was like, I love Plate's.
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to go into a workout where
Speaker 1: I feel more stressed going through it, because I want
Speaker 1: something that makes me feel good and rested. I always
Speaker 1: wear my or a ring, which I'm obsessed it. I
Speaker 1: love it, and I track my sleep every night and
Speaker 1: like quality sleep really does make me feel my best
Speaker 1: the next day. I drink magnesium every night before I
Speaker 1: go to bed, taking like my vitamins and supplements. And
Speaker 1: then really not like I don't watch scary movies, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not doing things that are gonna make me feel
Speaker 1: more excited or like feelings that would make me feel
Speaker 1: more anxious. So anything that's going to make me feel
Speaker 1: more anxious, because I already have to feel anxious and
Speaker 1: stressed in like my job, so I don't want these
Speaker 1: added like books or shows that are going to make
Speaker 1: me feel a little bit more stressed out. And then
Speaker 1: I'm someone who it physically manifests in my body. And
Speaker 1: so one day I was really stressed out. I was
Speaker 1: at the airport. I missed my flight. I was so
Speaker 1: stressed because I had to get back for something. The
Speaker 1: next day there was no flights out, and instead of
Speaker 1: just relaxing and like taking a breath, I woke up
Speaker 1: the next day I had a rash on my body
Speaker 1: because when I get stressed, So I have to remember, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't get stressed out about things I can't control.
Speaker 1: I need to take a breath or else it's gonna
Speaker 1: physically show up in my body when I'm like overly
Speaker 1: stressed about something, especially something like that I made at home.
Speaker 1: It was fine, it was all good, but I stressed
Speaker 1: myself out for no reason. So it's like doing all
Speaker 1: these things that can control because stress is going to
Speaker 1: happen in our lives. We're going to have stressful days.
Speaker 1: Things are out of our control, our job, our personal life.
Speaker 1: Those things will make us stressed out. So it's like,
Speaker 1: how can I control all of the other things in
Speaker 1: my day to feel my best. Yeah, I love your
Speaker 1: insight on if you get to have a stressful day anyway,
Speaker 1: you don't want your workout or your meditation to be
Speaker 1: the thing that stresses you more. Marianna. I've learned so
Speaker 1: much about you today, literally you have. I'm so happy
Speaker 1: I got to do this with you, and I recommend
Speaker 1: anyone who's listening or watching please do this with your friends,
Speaker 1: because when you interview a friend, or you interview a parent,
Speaker 1: or you interview a family member, you realize just how
Speaker 1: much life experience is stored within this human that you
Speaker 1: know you call a friend or a family member. You
Speaker 1: know this very well, Marianna. We end every interview with
Speaker 1: the final five. These are the fast five, where you
Speaker 1: have to answer each question in one word to one
Speaker 1: sentence maximum. But before we do that, I want to
Speaker 1: ask you did I ask Was there something I didn't
Speaker 1: ask you that you wish I asked you, or something
Speaker 1: you wanted to share that's on your heart that you
Speaker 1: want to let you feel We didn't touch your part.
Speaker 1: I think all good. I think I just this is
Speaker 1: like a love note to you, But like I love
Speaker 1: your content and it makes me feel so good. And
Speaker 1: what I want to put out in the world is
Speaker 1: content that makes people feel either motivated or inspired or
Speaker 1: something in their life that adds value and I feel
Speaker 1: like I always get that from you, and so thank
Speaker 1: you for your content because it makes me feel that way.
Speaker 1: And that's the things that I want to consume every day,
Speaker 1: Like did I take away something that made me feel
Speaker 1: better or inspired or motivated? And I feel like you
Speaker 1: always bring that out of your guests, so sweet and honestly,
Speaker 1: like you've given us such a unique perspective. And this
Speaker 1: is why I wanted to talk to you, because I
Speaker 1: find you to be not only are you a successful
Speaker 1: business person, but you're committed to your self care. And
Speaker 1: I think that those two things together are really inspiring
Speaker 1: to me. And that's the kind of energy I want
Speaker 1: my audience to feel. That you can be successful and
Speaker 1: do self care. You can be ambitious and affection and kind,
Speaker 1: like you can be courageous but be really sweet, and
Speaker 1: I see that all in you, and I really I
Speaker 1: love people who can blend these opposites, because I think
Speaker 1: for too long people have been made to believe, well,
Speaker 1: if you're bold and brave, then you're strong, or you're
Speaker 1: weak and meek, And I'm like, well no, there's this
Speaker 1: beautiful harmony in between. And so that's my love note
Speaker 1: back to you. As well. I love that. I'm going
Speaker 1: to start saying that I like that, but these are
Speaker 1: your final five. The first question is what is the
Speaker 1: best advice you've ever heard or received. Don't be afraid
Speaker 1: of being told now, so just asking people for something.
Speaker 1: If they say no, don't be offended. But you never
Speaker 1: know who's going to say yes. That's a great piece
Speaker 1: of advice. We've never had that. That is very good,
Speaker 1: and I do that a lot, so I'm with you, okay.
Speaker 1: Second question, what is the worst piece of advice you've
Speaker 1: ever heard or received? The worst piece of advice was
Speaker 1: people told us when we launched Summer Fridays not to
Speaker 1: launch with jetlag mask, and so I think that was
Speaker 1: in our gut and intuition the product we wanted to
Speaker 1: launch the brand with. I don't know if it would
Speaker 1: be what it is today without that. So if you
Speaker 1: have a gut feeling about something you want to do
Speaker 1: personally or professionally, even if the experts tell you something else,
Speaker 1: go with what you feel is best in your gut.
Speaker 1: I love that. That's and I love that example for
Speaker 1: that as well, because it's usually the thing I remember.
Speaker 1: I've never done a lot of brand partnerships or brand
Speaker 1: deals because my content was always so open and wide
Speaker 1: that it didn't really there weren't really industries that crossed
Speaker 1: over as much in the beginning. And I remember one
Speaker 1: brand reached out to me and they said, Jay, we
Speaker 1: want you to do this video. They didn't give me
Speaker 1: an idea, they just gave me a vision of like
Speaker 1: we wanted to be about people living life on their
Speaker 1: own terms. Like that's the spirit of the video. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I love that. I can totally vibe
Speaker 1: with that. And I can't even remember I had some
Speaker 1: like made up fee at the time, like these very
Speaker 1: early days. I was like whatever, it wasn't that much,
Speaker 1: and I went and made this video and I put
Speaker 1: my heart and soul into it because it was like
Speaker 1: one of my first brand deals, and it was even
Speaker 1: though the brand deal was tiny, it was just so
Speaker 1: important to me that I got to make this piece
Speaker 1: of content and I shared it with them and they
Speaker 1: were like, Jay, we don't Yeah, this is not going
Speaker 1: to work. And I was like, I put so I
Speaker 1: put more money into the production than they were paying me.
Speaker 1: But I was so passionate about and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work. I didn't have a contract, I
Speaker 1: wasn't tuned into what I needed. They said, no, we
Speaker 1: don't want this, we don't think you're the right fit
Speaker 1: for this. I uploaded the video anyway because I really
Speaker 1: liked it. To this day, it's my most watched video.
Speaker 1: It's got three hundred and eighty seven million views, like
Speaker 1: it's on faceboe. It is one of my biggest videos
Speaker 1: of all time. And I love the video. It's it's awesome.
Speaker 1: But they didn't get it. And that's the video that
Speaker 1: changed my entire career. And I'm really happy that there's
Speaker 1: no brand attached to it because it's true and real
Speaker 1: and yeah yeah, but really it's like going with your gut,
Speaker 1: like you know what's going to work best totally, and
Speaker 1: so even if these experts tell you it's the wrong
Speaker 1: thing or don't do this, but you know this is
Speaker 1: what you want to create, put it out into the world,
Speaker 1: because look, your most watched video are best selling. Yeah, which,
Speaker 1: And I love those examples because I think we do
Speaker 1: listen to the experts, and so love that, love that,
Speaker 1: love that. Question Number three, what's something that you used
Speaker 1: to value that you don't value as much anymore? Social
Speaker 1: a bit, which is weird because it's also our jobs.
Speaker 1: But I think I used to value what it was
Speaker 1: on there so much and now I understand it's a
Speaker 1: tool to do my job. It's not my entire identity,
Speaker 1: and so I have a really good relationship I think
Speaker 1: with it. Now. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in
Speaker 1: the last twelve months. I would say just taking care
Speaker 1: of my health is really the most important. Like there's
Speaker 1: no amount of money or anything in the world that
Speaker 1: you can do, Like, your health is the most important
Speaker 1: thing you can take care of. Things will come, So
Speaker 1: do everything you can and your control to be your
Speaker 1: best self and feel your best because that way, if
Speaker 1: something were to come, you are in your best shape
Speaker 1: that you can be. Yeah. Absolutely couldn't agree more. Very
Speaker 1: true for my year this year too, So I definitely
Speaker 1: take that to fifth and final question. If you could
Speaker 1: create one law that everyone in the world had to follow,
Speaker 1: what would it be? Oh, one law. It's kind of
Speaker 1: a little bit we talked about earlier of like saying
Speaker 1: yes or no to things. So if you want to
Speaker 1: say yes to something, it should be an absolute, full
Speaker 1: body yes, I really want to do this. If you
Speaker 1: feel any hesitation or any no. There might be something
Speaker 1: in your gut and intuition telling you why I want
Speaker 1: to say no to this or why I don't want
Speaker 1: to do this, and then you end up saying yes
Speaker 1: and you don't really want to do it anyway. So
Speaker 1: say yes to the things you feel full body yes too,
Speaker 1: and say no to the things that you don't feel
Speaker 1: absolutely truly like aligns with you and your gut and
Speaker 1: your intuition. That's great, Marianna. Here everyone, the podcast is
Speaker 1: called Life with Marianna. You know the brand Summer Fridays
Speaker 1: makes you go subscribe to the podcast. Do follow Marianna
Speaker 1: on Instagram on all social media platforms that you use,
Speaker 1: and please, the biggest thing I want you to do
Speaker 1: is tag what you learn from this episode. So take
Speaker 1: a screenshot right now, tag me in Marianna both on TikTok,
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Twitter, whatever platform you're using, and let us
Speaker 1: know what you learned, what you're going to try out,
Speaker 1: what you're testing for a week, what habit really stayed
Speaker 1: with you, a new journal question that you might have gained.
Speaker 1: I love knowing the insights that you actually apply to
Speaker 1: your life, and that's what I want next year to
Speaker 1: be about the next twelve months of your life. Whenever
Speaker 1: you're listening to this is not how much can you learn,
Speaker 1: not how much can you grow, not how much pressure
Speaker 1: you put on yourself, but how much can you apply?
Speaker 1: And I think in Marianna's journey, I see a lot
Speaker 1: of applied wisdom. And I think applied wisdom has so
Speaker 1: much more value than knowledge or books read or episodes
Speaker 1: listened to, and so focus on application. Marianna, You've been
Speaker 1: so wonderful, has always. It's been such a joy having
Speaker 1: you on. I hope we have you on again and
Speaker 1: keep tracking this incredible journey that you're on. And thank
Speaker 1: you for giving us permission to live long, healthy, successful
Speaker 1: lives that don't have to end by forty or forty five.
Speaker 1: There's so much life to live. Thank you for Thanks Maria.
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you will also love my
Speaker 1: interview with Charles do Hig on how to hack your brain,
Speaker 1: change Jenny habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions.