WEBVTT - Marianna Hewitt ON: How to Create a Morning Routine that Results in Success & Why Energy-Drainers Are Getting in Your Way 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.880 Everyone talked about a morning routine and meditation, and I'm like, 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:05.280 if all of these really successful people that I admire 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:07.080 do this, there's got to be something to it. I 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:08.440 need to wake up and work out. I need to 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:10.520 wake up and do this. But those things didn't work 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:12.840 for me. So it was trying something for a week, 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:14.880 do I feel better? And I got it to a 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:17.160 routine of the things that feel best for me. Those 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:26.320 five things might not work for you. Hey, everyone, welcome 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.280 back to our Purpose, the number one health podcast in 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.400 the world. Thanks to each and every one of you 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:35.320 that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.880 more healed. And I am so excited to be talking 0:00:38.880 --> 0:00:41.920 to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:45.960 Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:49.000 to share it with you. I am so so excited 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:51.000 for you to read this book, for you to listen 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.440 to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:56.400 got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules 0:00:56.400 --> 0:01:00.320 of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:03.320 to find, keep, or let go of love. So if 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:06.520 you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.440 with Love. Make sure you grab this book, and I'd 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.440 love to invite you to come and see me for 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.920 my global tour. Love Rules. Go to Ja shettytour dot 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:20.920 com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:23.720 I can't wait to see you this year, and you 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:25.520 know that I'm always going to look out for guests 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:28.880 who have different experiences, different walks of life. People have 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:33.000 built and created incredible cultural phenomenons and also at the 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.600 same time learned lessons along the way that they can 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:38.720 share with us. Now, I know that you're going to 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:40.480 be really excited for this one because I know a 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:42.680 ton of you already follow our next guest, and I'm 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:45.800 excited for you to learn about behind the scenes story 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.480 and the journey that she's taken to get there. I'm 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:51.160 speaking about the one and only Marianna Hewett, who's a 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.200 leading voice in social media and the co founder of 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:58.920 Summer Fridays, the skincare brand whose iconic jetlag mask became 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:02.160 an instant bestseller. Marianna is also the host of our 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.680 own podcast, Life with Marianna, the number one fashion and 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:08.040 beauty podcast. I got to be a guest, I think 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:10.640 right at the beginning near when the show launched, it's 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:14.120 been on an incredible trajectory. Amazing guest makes you check 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.880 it out. Marianna's a dear friend, so I'm loving this opportunity. 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.040 I just said to our offline that when a friend 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:23.600 comes on the show, I think I know them a 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:25.760 little bit, and then we interview them, and then I 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.240 realized I know them a whole lot better. So I 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:31.440 hope you feel inspired to interview your friends as well. Marianna, 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:35.240 Welcome to Operas. No, it's so great to have you. 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.800 I've been looking forward to this, and I loved the 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:41.560 interview we did for your podcast two years ago. Now, yeah, 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:43.640 it was one of my favorite episodes and people loved 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:45.480 it so much, and so I'm so happy you're coming 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.040 back again. Yes, yes, I'm excited to come back again. 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.160 And you know, you've just been on this incredible journey 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:54.720 with your brands, your work, the community you spend time with, 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:58.000 your such a respected voice, such a well known face 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:00.680 in the industry, which I think is really hard to 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.320 do when you've done it from building a brand, when 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.920 you've done it from building social media, it's hard to 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:09.040 maintain that. But I want to go backwards today because 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:11.919 as we were researching, we also found that you don't 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:16.000 always share too much about yourself. And that's obviously what 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.960 on purpose is built upon. And I wanted to ask you, like, 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:23.200 and I asked this often, what's your earliest strong memory 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:25.720 as a child, Like, can you remember if you could 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:29.120 go back, what's one of your strongest earliest memories and 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:31.079 why is it so important to you? And I'll tell 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:33.600 you mine as I as I let you think on yours. 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:37.960 If I think about my earliest earliest memory, I can 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:42.480 probably remember holding my sister when she was born. So 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.440 I was around four and a half going on five, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:47.560 and I remember her being in my arms and like 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:50.560 it was amazing to have that opportunity to actually hold 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.280 this baby. And I remember my parents had been like 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:57.080 preparing me for this moment where they were like, you've 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.440 got to pray for a new new little friend to 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.640 be in your life, and so like for weeks on 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.920 end and months I was praying, so I was prepped. 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:06.520 And then when my mom was going to hospital and everything, 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:08.480 I remember my dad like staying at home with me 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:12.080 and doing puzzles and like keeping me occupied and getting 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:13.920 me ready. And then finally, when I held my sister, 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:16.000 was like such a moment and the reason why. And 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:18.480 I think about how that moment impacted me, and I 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.680 feel my parents did a great job at me being excited, 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:24.240 and at the same time, I feel that's been a 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:26.080 big part of why I feel so close to my sister. 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:28.680 And I often called my sister kid because I see 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:30.760 her as my little child, and so there was a 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:34.080 parental aspect. I feel like I became quite fatherly early on. 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:36.800 So anyway, that's my earliest memory of four and a 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.200 half years old. I want to know yours. We have 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:41.440 a mutual friend, Audrey, and she was asking me the 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:43.919 other day, like, how far back do you remember? And 0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:46.360 I'm like, I remember my first day of kindergarten. She's 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:47.720 like you do, and I was like, yeah, I can 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:50.960 remember waiting in line, I can remember my backpack, I 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.280 remember going into school. And it really was memories from 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:56.000 six on where I remember a lot. At the time 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:57.960 my parents got divorced, I was six, so this is 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:01.000 very early nineties before a lot of family we're getting divorced, 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:03.560 and I had grown up in Germany, that's where I 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:06.200 was born, and after my parents divorced, my mom went 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:08.800 back to Germany, and this is very modern of my 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:10.479 parents at the time. But I ended up living with 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:12.760 my dad full time, so my dad was a full 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:16.839 time single parent. They were cross continental co parenting, which 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:19.719 is like it just seems very crazy like thinking back then. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.400 But I think it's a lot to my independence now 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.000 because I started flying by myself to Germany to see 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:27.720 my mom when I was six. So my dad used 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.320 to take me to the airport. This is before TSA preach. 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.119 This is how long ago it was, or your people 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:34.880 could like walk you to the gate. So my dad 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.800 would walk me there and then someone would take me 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:39.160 on the plane. I would fly to Germany. I would 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.600 meet my mom there on the other end. And I'm 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:43.720 an only child and a youngest child, so I have 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:46.320 two older half sisters, but I was my parents only kids. 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:49.040 So from a really young age, I had this independence 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.240 of Okay, I could fly to Germany by myself, like 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.200 I can do everything by myself. And I think my 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.000 parents always treated me as an adult at a really 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.080 young age, and they instilled independence in me, and they 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:01.839 always treated me like I was an adult. So my 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.200 parents are much older now. My dad is eighty five. 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:06.680 My mom is seventy two, and so I think they 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:08.640 were out of phase in their life where they were 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.480 a little bit more grown up. They had figured things 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:12.560 out themselves, and they said, this is the way I 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:14.480 want a parent. I'm not going to smother you. I'm 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:16.159 going to let you be your own person and figure 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:19.000 things out. And I think that independence has really gotten 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.000 me to where I am today. And so when people 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:22.640 are like, how do you travel all the time for work, 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:24.559 I've like, Oh, I've been traveling since I was a baby, 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:26.760 so it's something I'm so used to. I love that 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:29.760 I did not know that, and I think it's really interesting. 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.839 I don't live in my past that much, and you 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:33.680 don't strike me as someone who lives in your past 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:37.159 a lot, but I do love going backwards to kind 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:41.159 of connect the dots with those experiences. And what you 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.120 just said is a perfect example of how you took that. 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:47.680 Have you found sometimes that you speak to people, but 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.760 we all react to things differently, Like for someone else 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:53.760 that going back and forth would have made travel really 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.240 scary and they would have been like, God, my parents 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:58.520 got divorced, like it was the worst and I had 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.000 to go back and forth where your story is I'm 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:04.800 independent and I travel. Do you think you had to 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.000 reflect or did you do any work to get there 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:09.240 or was that just natural for you? Where it was like, 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:12.040 I just felt like it was a good thing, because 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.920 I'm always intrigued as to life happening to us versus 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:18.520 us choosing what life does to us. Yeah, I think 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.520 there's two scenarios here. So I have a friend who 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:23.240 is really bad flight anxiety, Like she cannot get on 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:25.960 a plane without taking something first, and we talked about 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:27.840 it recently and she's like, I think because my parents 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.160 were divorced, and I thought every time I got on 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.200 a plane, I was leaving one parent and going to 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.720 another one. And so she has a really bad time 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:38.400 flying now thirty years later because of those experiences. Again, 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:41.240 my parents being modern at the time, which is more 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.680 common now, my parents actually got me a therapist when 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.240 they were going through divorce. And this is thirty years ago, 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:47.720 so you have to think I was six years old 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.720 and my parents said, Okay, we're going to separate, We're 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:51.400 going to give you someone to talk to. And so 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.120 at the time I could actually process my emotions, not 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:58.040 really remembering what was happening, but they were so cautious 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:00.440 about how to handle the situation that I think it 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:02.200 made me feel like, oh, it's not a bad thing 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:04.840 that they're separated. They're doing these things because they love 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:07.760 me and they want to be happy people independently. And 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.360 so the way they handled it then reflected on who 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:12.360 I am as an adult today. So I think as 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:15.360 I think about one day becoming a parent, all those 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.040 things from someone being six really does reflect on who 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:20.360 they are as an adult. That's incredible. Yeah, so your 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:25.600 parents are supermature. Yeah, but you to think then people 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:28.160 weren't getting divorced, people were not going to therapy, parents 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.600 weren't co parenting. There's not even really cell phones at 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:32.840 this time, so they were trying to co parent in 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:36.160 different continents without Wi Fi, without cell phones. And the 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:37.720 fact that they were able to do it, it's like 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.439 if you live in the same city with someone else, 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.600 it's definitely possible. If they could do it between countries. Wow, 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:45.240 And do you feel that because of the way they 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.679 handled it, you've continued to have a good relationship with 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.440 both of them. Yeah, because of how they how did 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:52.440 they What were some of the others, Because I think 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:55.199 there are so many people today who have parents who 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:57.480 got divorced, or a lot of people who actually have 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.880 parents who never got divorced, but they feel that could 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:03.199 have benefited them. And then of course their parents who 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:05.880 stayed together, and people are grateful for that. But from 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:09.440 your experience, what else. I'm just so intrigued by how 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:11.280 incredible your parents are, Like, what else do you think 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:14.960 they got right that, despite being in separate countries, you 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:18.720 felt like you had a healthy relationship with both For them, 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:20.720 they always made sure like no matter what this was 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:23.280 the schedule. I spent my summers with my mom in Europe. 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.280 I would go see her during holiday, she would come 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.440 back to see me, and so my mom was always 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:29.960 planning work trips about coming back to where I was, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.559 and so she would make sure she was present at school. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:34.240 Even though she didn't live in the same state as me, 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.520 she would come to different things, and so that time 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:38.960 is really important, and I remember more the days that 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:40.920 she was there than she wasn't there. And so now 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.000 I'm so close to both of them, and they're really 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:44.880 like friends to me. Now at this point, it's not 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.760 really like a parental relationship of anything. I probably parent 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.720 them a little bit too. Much, but they're just so incredible, 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.440 And I think hindsight is that they're older and I 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:55.600 have the gift of age from them. And I think 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:59.200 because they were fully mature adults by the time they 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:02.560 got married and had kids, they realized how to be 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.560 a parent more. I think a lot of times, when 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.080 you're still trying to figure yourself out in your twenties 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:08.959 and thirties, it might be a little bit too early. 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:11.400 But I think my mom waited till she was thirty 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:13.640 six to have me. My dad was forty nine, and 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:15.480 I think they were in a place where they were 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:18.160 fully ready to become parents, and I think that really 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.160 reflected on the way they raised me versus feeling like 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.160 I have to do this because of my age, which 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:24.760 I think a lot of women feel that way now, 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:26.760 like oh, I'm thirty, I have to do this thing now, 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:29.679 But they don't feel ready because society keeps telling us 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:31.280 we have to have kids by a certain age. But 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.320 I think they waited and that waiting made them better 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.520 parents to me. Yeah. Wow, So not only were your 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:43.880 parents over totherapy, yeah, your dad being the primary cat taker, 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.840 and then your parents were actually having kids late, which 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.360 was so not normal. Then yes, So it sounds like 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:51.240 they were breaking all the rules. They were doing all 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:52.839 the things that I want to do now in life, 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.160 but a long time ago before it was like normalized. Yeah, 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:56.840 tell me one of the ways that you feel your 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:59.800 parent your parents now that they're all older, and of course, 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:02.000 you know what's been one of the most beautiful ways 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.400 that you've got to Oh, I turn that I do 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.400 every I do so much for them now, but it's 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.080 like such a blessing to be able to do that 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.600 for them. And so my parents are so grateful for 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.040 anything if I buy them a flight or book something 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:14.960 for them. But now it's like travel, I want to 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:16.920 make sure that they're like very comfortable. So it's just 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:19.360 making sure that they have everything that they need. So 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.920 I have a half sister who's older. She lives in Connecticut, 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:23.920 so my dad wanted to see them for Thanksgiving. So 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:25.680 it's just he's like, oh, thank you so much for 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:27.680 this flight, Like he has so much gratitude for a 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:29.200 flight that I could book for him. And it's like, 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:31.040 if I can work hard to make sure that you 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:33.400 can go see your great grandkids, it makes me so happy. 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.080 Or my mom to be able to go on a 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:36.640 trip and do the things that she wants to do. 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:39.360 So now they're probably annoyed with me because I'm like, 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.360 don't do this, don't do this, don't go here, remember this, 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:43.480 like wear your face mask. Like I'm telling them all 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.839 of these things, but I try to do it a 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:47.800 little bit less. But they're like my dad even texts 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.200 me that they're thinking, okay, thanks Mom, Like, so they're cute. 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:53.640 I love that. That's so adorable. It's so beautiful. I 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:56.240 think for all of us who can support our parents 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.079 in any way, it is such a blessing. One of 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.800 the things that you brought up that they really stuck 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:04.600 with me was this idea that you want to live 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:07.080 your life in the way your parents were living their 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:10.240 life back then. Do you feel like you didn't grow 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:14.400 up with a lot of limitations in your mindset or boundaries, 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:16.960 because I think what you were saying is that a 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.839 lot of For example, you gave the example that a 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.839 lot of women feel like, oh, by the time I'm thirty, 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:24.040 I should have had kids by now. Well by the 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:27.080 time on this, and I think time and society place 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:30.480 a lot of these boundaries and barriers. Did you feel 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:32.840 more free from them because of how you were parented 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.240 or did at any point in your life did these 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.680 become a part of your yeah, education as well. There's 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.040 a couple of things. So one, my dad grew up 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:42.599 really poor. He was born at the end of the 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.200 Great Depression and grew up my grandpa was a preacher. 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.400 They had no money, like, very very poor. My dad 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:50.160 only could go to college because he joined the Air 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:51.880 Force and was able to go on a GI bill. 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:54.840 My mom immigrated to the US during the Vietnam War 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.960 and came to the America with literally nothing. So between 0:12:57.960 --> 0:12:59.880 the two of their stories, I thought, if they come 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.040 from nothing, they come from war, they come from the 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.439 Great Depression, and they could make this life for themselves. 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.600 I can do anything possible because they've given me this 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:11.000 great life that I could have, that anything is possible here. 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.080 So if I don't live my life to the fullest, 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:16.079 it's almost a disservice to the sacrifices that they made 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.640 for me to be here. My mom is also Vietnamese, 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.440 so I grew up with a very much a tiger 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:22.319 mom who was like, you have to do these things. 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:24.040 Go to school, you need to graduate, you need to 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.640 get a job. But She also taught to meet independence 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.079 and what she told me was never rely on anyone 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:31.040 else for anything. You need to be able to fully 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:33.920 support yourself. So if you're in a relationship or a situation, 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:36.240 you can walk away and not feel like you have 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.520 to rely on another person for something, or be in 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.360 a scenario you don't want to be in because you 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:43.240 need this person for this thing. And maybe I took 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.440 it a little far overly independent in my life. And 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.079 so growing up, I told my parents I want to 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.280 be a television host. And then my mom was like, Okay, 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.599 you need a realistic job, like being on TV is 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.719 not realistic. So I said, Okay, my backup job is 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:59.160 going to be PR. So I went to school for journalism. 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:02.400 My backup was PR. I interned in PR in college. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.760 It was my first job out of college. I was 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:07.320 taking celebrities to interviews and I was like, I still 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:08.880 want to be the one interviewing them, like this is 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:10.600 I don't want to be behind the camera. I want 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.360 to be in front of the camera. And so I 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:16.360 started working as a TV host and then Instagram and 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:19.120 YouTube came around in twenty twelve, and I had a 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.320 reel and to send my real places. I needed to 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.840 upload it somewhere, so I uploaded it to YouTube and 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:25.680 I had to send the link to places to go 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:28.040 on interviews, and so I would send them this link. 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.320 That was my first YouTube video, and then I had 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:31.880 a channel. So I was like, I may as well 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.120 start uploading makeup tutorials because I have this place. This 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:38.840 is very early YouTube days ten years ago. And after 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:40.640 two years I was able to do it full time. 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:42.320 And I told my parents I'm going to quit to 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:43.920 do the internet. And they were like, quit to do 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.280 the internet? Like what is this? And so even though 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.760 they support me now, I don't think they gave me. 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.760 They let me know that all things were possible because 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.000 of their own stories, but I didn't know at the 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:56.440 time that I could make it a career for myself, 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:59.160 and they were definitely a little bit skeptical. Now they're 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:01.240 like the most supportive people. But at the beginning, you know, 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:05.480 it's like internet full time, what is this? Parents always 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:08.520 want us to be safe, like parents always want their 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:11.680 kids to be safe, but it's almost like the safest 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:15.000 thing parents can do is let kids take their own risks. 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:17.560 I feel the same with my parents, Like my mom 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.880 moved to England when she was sixteen, and they built 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:24.120 their life. Her brothers were like eighteen and nineteen, and 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.760 they built a life, Whereas when I was moving to 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.520 New York at twenty eight, it was like no, no, no, like, 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:31.760 are you okay, my baby? I'm like, mom, I'm twenty 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.840 eight years old. You were sixteen. But they forget that. 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:38.080 They forget the pain and the sacrifice and the risk 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.360 they took on, and they want to shelter you away 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:44.280 from it. When you made that decision, were you so 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.280 convinced that this is right for me, I know it's 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.560 the thing, or was it hard? Because I feel like 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.360 when you did that step, it wasn't a thing to 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.560 be a YouTuber yet, it wasn't a career path that 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.280 someone could say, I want to be a creator, mom 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.800 and dad, look at what x y Z are doing. 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:03.360 There weren't any role models at that time, and so 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.520 when you did that, it was even a bigger risk 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.120 than it is today. But I find so many people 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:12.000 who listen to this show today struggle to break out 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.720 of what their parents think of them. So when your parents, 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:16.720 it sounds like you have such a close relationship with 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:19.240 your parents, they love you, You love them. Was there 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:20.840 a part of you that felt you were letting them 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:24.960 down by doing this or did ye never letting them down? 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:26.800 I was never worried about letting them down. I think 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:28.920 I just had to prove them. So Like my dad 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.960 is very much like, Okay, go do whatever you want, 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:32.520 like this is great. Like he grew up in a 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.560 time there's not even phone, so like to have a 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.240 job on the internet seems so insane to him. But 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.360 my mom is very much like, show me what you 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:41.920 can do and then I'll support you. And so I 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.320 had to show her these opportunities. And I think when 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:45.880 I went on my first brand trip and I could 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:47.760 bring her on the trip, she was like, oh, you 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:49.840 could travel for work, you could go places. I went 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:51.520 to Thailand and I took her with me, and she 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:53.920 couldn't believe that you could have this job on the 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:56.600 internet and create this for yourself. And so I was 0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:59.800 never worried about disappointing them because I always believed in myself, 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.440 if I want to do something, I know that it's possible. 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:04.760 And now we're in a really great place where you 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:07.560 can see people's careers that you want to emulate or 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:09.760 you look up too. But at that time there was 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:11.880 no one to We were figuring it all out at 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.760 the same time. And luckily it was very early days 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.679 of like influencers having like managers and teams, and I 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.720 happened to get an agency, and I think that helped 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.400 legitimize it to my family, and then they saw over 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:24.879 time like, Okay, you can actually like make money doing this, 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:26.960