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Speaker 1: This is the fread show.

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Speaker 1: Order a fread show.

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Speaker 2: It's Kiki's Court Rise, the honorable out kik Alaka is here,

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Speaker 2: your honor take it away, please, all right.

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Speaker 3: Let's get into the courtroom. The gavel has been hit,

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Speaker 3: it says Kiki. Am I wrong for ruining Christmas because

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Speaker 3: I won't travel with the newborn. I gave birth six

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Speaker 3: weeks ago after a rough delivery. I'm still healing and

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Speaker 3: have two other kids, five and three. My mother in

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Speaker 3: law insists that everyone travels six hours to her house

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Speaker 3: for Christmas every year, and we've taken the drive year after. However,

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Speaker 3: this year I said no because I'm dragging a new

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Speaker 3: I don't want to drag a new born and two

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Speaker 3: small kids. Across state lines during the flow season. My

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Speaker 3: husband backed me up and offered that we do a

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Speaker 3: family FaceTime call on Christmas morning instead.

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Speaker 1: Well, my mother in law lost it.

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Speaker 3: She said I'm being lazy and dramatic and accused me

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Speaker 3: of using the baby to control her son. Then she

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Speaker 3: sent a family group text saying Christmas was basically canceled

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Speaker 3: because some people refuse to make sacrifices. Now half of

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Speaker 3: the family is mad at me and telling me just

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Speaker 3: to deal with it for one day. And my mother

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Speaker 3: in law says I stole her Christmas and her grandkids.

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Speaker 3: Am I wrong?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have a lot of thoughts with Kiki A.

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Speaker 3: True and you know, as the childless aunt, I want

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Speaker 3: to give grace to the mother in law who probably

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Speaker 3: looks forward to making memories with her grandkids every year,

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Speaker 3: like every holiday, I look forward to being around my nephews.

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Speaker 1: I look forward to it. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 3: I want to give I want to give grace to

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Speaker 3: the mother in law. Right, But after that, what you

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Speaker 3: have to learn as an adult is that people are

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Speaker 3: allowed to set boundaries and make decisions for their families,

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Speaker 3: and postpartum is real. And if she doesn't feel like

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Speaker 3: attending this year. Give her this year. Hopefully she doesn't

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Speaker 3: make this a new tradition where you never see your

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Speaker 3: grandkids because you threw a fit. So it's just like

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Speaker 3: I understand the frustration of the grandparents, and you know,

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Speaker 3: traditions are being you know broken in their opinion. But

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Speaker 3: this lady is going through postpartum. So if she doesn't

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Speaker 3: want to attend this year, give her that. That's my opinion.

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Speaker 1: I mean, in the mode in the room, I assume

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Speaker 1: you have no dispute there. I can't think of one.

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Speaker 4: And if she never wants to go back to see

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Speaker 4: her mother in law, I also wouldn't be mad at that.

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Speaker 1: Either, Like truly, no, not in a bad way, but like.

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Speaker 4: She's got three kids, she's got to drag around Like

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Speaker 4: I'm barely getting around with one kid, right and my

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Speaker 4: little Nissan, Like it's a lot of work to get

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Speaker 4: around town with the kid, So I'll pack up.

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Speaker 1: Three kids go across state lines.

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Speaker 4: No, and like, yes, she's six weeks postpartum, she's in

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Speaker 4: a diaper. Like it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: I'm serious, it's a lot going on in her world.

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Speaker 4: And she does not have to please anybody truly, ever, ever,

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Speaker 4: but like especially for the holiday season and Christmas, and

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Speaker 4: if mother in law feels like she wants to see

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Speaker 4: grandkids and do these memories, like maybe they could work

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Speaker 4: something out or mother in law comes over or something.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's a big maybe. I don't I don't know

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Speaker 1: how the situation.

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Speaker 3: I don't want that either. Right, she's over, they want

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Speaker 3: to talk about how your house not clean?

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Speaker 1: That's a big minute. She's sounds the kind of woman

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Speaker 1: who would do that. Yeah, should be sound great.

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Speaker 2: Eight five five five, one oh three five. You guys

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Speaker 2: are the Jerry. I'm sure people have something to say

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Speaker 2: about this. I mean my mom, if she were listening,

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Speaker 2: she would say, my nieces are three and five, and

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Speaker 2: it's like she wants my sister to load them up

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Speaker 2: and bring them. And my sister does it a couple

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Speaker 2: of times a year. I know it's a lot of work. Granted,

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Speaker 2: my mom did it with us. So it's one of

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Speaker 2: those things where it's like, you know, grandmas want to

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Speaker 2: see their grandkids and and and my mom does travel

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Speaker 2: to Dallas an awful lot to see them, so it's

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Speaker 2: not like she doesn't pull her weight. My sister would

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Speaker 2: tell you, well, it's a lot of work to bring

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Speaker 2: these kids around. Well, yeah, I mean, but it's also

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Speaker 2: part of being a family. The thing for me is,

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Speaker 2: first of all, this is the third kid under five,

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Speaker 2: was it.

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: The second thing is really the proximity to birth. Like, look,

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Speaker 2: we're talking about six weeks an infant were newborn. I mean,

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Speaker 2: that's totally unreasonable to ask. Maybe in a year or two,

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Speaker 2: but I don't know why isn't mother in law jumping

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Speaker 2: a gold to where they are?

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Speaker 3: Well, she might have offered that, but I don't think

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Speaker 3: that this daughter in law once are there either, because

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Speaker 3: think about it, if I'm in a diaper, it's probablina

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Speaker 3: saying I'm going through postpartum, I have little kids. I

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Speaker 3: don't necessarily want to host my in laws either, right,

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Speaker 3: I just want a year off to get my mind right,

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Speaker 3: get my body right, and raise these kids, and then

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Speaker 3: maybe we can pick up the tradition next year.

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Speaker 2: If mother in law is thrown out a bunch of

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Speaker 2: scenarios that require very little from new mom, then I

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Speaker 2: might say, okay, kid, is there no compromise here? You know?

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Speaker 2: If she's if she's saying I'll fly to you, I'll

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Speaker 2: stay in a hotel. I'll stay out of your way.

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Speaker 2: I just want to see my grandkids on Christmas or

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Speaker 2: near Christmas or whatever. And she's saying no, no, No.

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Speaker 2: The problem is, I think sometimes the personalities of these

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Speaker 2: very eager mom grandmothers can be off putting in itself.

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Speaker 2: You know, it can come off very aggressive when they

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Speaker 2: have the best in Like my mom, I love her

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Speaker 2: to death. She has the absolute best intention, but she pushes.

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Speaker 2: And you know, she and my sister are the same

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Speaker 2: woman in many ways. So it's like you're pushing you

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Speaker 2: and you wouldn't like to be you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: So it's like you're getting a no to set boundaries.

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Speaker 2: But I know you and you see that as rejection,

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Speaker 2: but yet you have the best intention. You just want

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Speaker 2: to be a part of their lives. I get all

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Speaker 2: of that for me, though it's six weeks ago you

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Speaker 2: had a baby. No, they're not going to travel to you.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 3: I would love to hear from the thirteen because I

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Speaker 3: struggled with this being the only girl in my family.

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Speaker 3: I don't have kids. My brothers have the kids. But

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Speaker 3: I feel like you're so used to your family tradition,

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Speaker 3: like we always get together on this day, How dare

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Speaker 3: you have to go to your other in laws? You know, like,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to share you. I don't want to

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Speaker 3: share the family. So it's hard, but you have to

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Speaker 3: just be okay with it because people are allowed to

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Speaker 3: set boundaries.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and you know that there was if you've

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Speaker 2: been listening for a little while years ago, there was

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Speaker 2: a it was a rough transition in our house and

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Speaker 2: my sister said, we're not coming for Christmas anymore or

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Speaker 2: Thanksgiving because we want to have our own traditions in

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Speaker 2: our own home.

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Speaker 1: And that was hard, and it wasn't because she was wrong.

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Speaker 2: It was hard because our family is very close that

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Speaker 2: we're used to doing things a certain way for a

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Speaker 2: long time, and that included when we were young and

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Speaker 2: our grandparents and the whole thing. So we're breaking a

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Speaker 2: multi generational tradition of being together on Christmas and as

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Speaker 2: and people have said, why don't you go to Dallas?

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't say were invited, Like, honestly, I don't. I

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Speaker 2: don't think that's I don't think that's even an option

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Speaker 2: because I do that, and I don't think it's a

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Speaker 2: lack of light. I think she's drawing a firm boundary. Now,

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Speaker 2: is that a boundary that I would draw that firmly. No,

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Speaker 2: I would give a little more than my is because

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Speaker 2: she is getting a lot too, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: But like just get on a plane and go there

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Speaker 1: and stay in a hotel.

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Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not entirely sure we were included. So

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Speaker 2: you know, I think I do think there's give and take.

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Speaker 2: I think I think sometimes, you know, the burden is

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Speaker 2: on the parents to provide opportunities for the grandparents, and

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Speaker 2: then the grandparents. I think sometimes I have to show

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Speaker 2: grace to the kids when you know, but I am

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Speaker 2: it's a very hard thing. Family can become very complicated,

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Speaker 2: even when there's a lot of love. Hey, Dominique, Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 2: so you have a new born. Congratulations by the way,

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Speaker 2: thank you. And so you hear this scenario where you've

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Speaker 2: got to and I wonder if the mother in law

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Speaker 2: because you hear mother in law and then you automatically

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Speaker 2: like feel this disconnect, right, but not necessarily that. But

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Speaker 2: here's this woman, she really wants everyone together on Christmas,

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Speaker 2: and her daughter in law who just had a baby

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Speaker 2: six weeks ago, saying, nah, we're not doing this, and

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Speaker 2: she has two other kids under five, Like, I can't

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Speaker 2: do it right now, and there's there's some tension there.

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Speaker 1: What do you think?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I have a three month old, I have a

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Speaker 5: three year old. And if the first six months are

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Speaker 5: so hard, especially around like flu season, RSV season, and

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Speaker 5: the holiday season on top of that, the mom and

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Speaker 5: her family should be at home with her kids, her

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Speaker 5: young ones.

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Speaker 6: This is like.

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Speaker 5: Primetime Stanta time for them. They should be waking up

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Speaker 5: on Christmas morning in their home, in their pajamas, with

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Speaker 5: their family. Grandma is now in law or on the

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Speaker 5: mom's side, are now extended family. So it's about the

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Speaker 5: family that you made, not the family you came from.

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Speaker 5: Now they need to be prioritized. So Grandma needs to

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Speaker 5: go to them and at least like be the community

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Speaker 5: that she probably claims that she is because it takes

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Speaker 5: her lab take a tribe to raise kids, especially during

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Speaker 5: the flu and holiday season.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with at minimum, at minimum, what she's

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Speaker 2: pitching should be things that are easy on them.

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Speaker 3: And that's so real to say. When you say you

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Speaker 3: know you are the family, what did you say the

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Speaker 3: extended family?

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Speaker 1: You're family?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Hard, but it's true, true, and my parents too.

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Speaker 5: My my family comes over to my house because it's

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Speaker 5: about the grandkids now, it's not about anybody else. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: even with Christmas and Santa and then a new baby,

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Speaker 5: come on, yeah, what about mom and baby in the family.

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Speaker 1: Traditions need to change.

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Speaker 2: I think the harder you push, the less likely you

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Speaker 2: are to be included in those traditions, and that can

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Speaker 2: be hard to Dominique. Thank you so much and congratulations again.

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Speaker 2: Have a good day.

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Speaker 5: Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: You guys too.

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Speaker 1: Glad you called. Hey Kimmy, good morning. Do it next year.

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Speaker 2: Kimmy, Hey, Kimmy, Kimmy, kim in the radio, Kimmy. I

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Speaker 2: just I just picked up the phone. I don't know

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Speaker 2: what you were saying. You gotta you gotta start over.

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Speaker 6: Oh I'm sorry. Okay, Well, what I'm saying is that

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Speaker 6: this lady's in the right. I just opt out a kid.

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Speaker 6: I got two other toddlers. There ain't no way I

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Speaker 6: am going six hours with a newborn to Christmas. I

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Speaker 6: am gonna tell my mother in law. I'm sorry, but

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Speaker 6: we're doing this next year. You all go ahead, everybody else,

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Speaker 6: go ahead, do it. I'm not offended. Please, by all means,

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Speaker 6: go ahead. I'll wait till next year and I'll see

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Speaker 6: all next year.

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Speaker 1: Let's face time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, Kimmy, thank you so much. I'm really glad

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Speaker 2: you called. No, that's what it is. It's again six

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Speaker 2: weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: That's uh.

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Speaker 2: So we have Kimmy now, we have Kim Hi, kim

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Speaker 2: How you doing? I'm well, how are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Great? Kiki's court? What say you? I when I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna lie.

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Speaker 7: When I heard this, this immediately really frustrated me because

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Speaker 7: I have a not technically newborn vibe a micro creamy.

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Speaker 1: He was born at twenty five weeks.

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Speaker 7: He was born, you know, back in May, and even

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Speaker 7: though you know he's still he's like almost seven months,

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Speaker 7: like it's still newborn kind of this and any little

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Speaker 7: cold could send him.

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Speaker 1: To the hospital.

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Speaker 7: So the fact that there's this judgment for you know,

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Speaker 7: wanting to keep her, the mom safe, the.

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Speaker 1: Baby safe, is just so frustrating. How's your son doing?

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Speaker 1: By the way, he's really good.

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Speaker 7: He's done a little bit of oxygen, but you know,

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Speaker 7: he's doing really good. But we have to be so careful,

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Speaker 7: like you can't bring them around to anybody sick. So yeah,

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Speaker 7: I just I fight for the mom in this situation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah always yeah, well, Kim, thank you, have a good day,

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Speaker 2: good holiday as well, you too.

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Speaker 1: Love you guys, I love you too, Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Appreciate it. Jackie, Hello, Hi Jackie. Kiki's court. What's your take?

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Speaker 8: You're the jury, So no, I don't think that she's

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Speaker 8: wrong at all. I had a similar situation. I had

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Speaker 8: my daughter's July second and then my system off wedding

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Speaker 8: was the fifteenth of July, and she wanted me to

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Speaker 8: go with my daughter, and I hope her no because

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Speaker 8: I just had her, you know, and same thing. You know,

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Speaker 8: I would being a dress, still wearing diaper, still healing,

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Speaker 8: and she was bad, and she thought that I was

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Speaker 8: using that as an excuse not to go through her wedding.

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Speaker 8: So I sided with the mom here. She's not wrong

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Speaker 8: at all whatsoever. Especially the nurse even told us, like

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Speaker 8: before we left the hospital, she's like, make sure that

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Speaker 8: the baby doesn't go out, because she she they see

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Speaker 8: it a lot of times where you know, parents want

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Speaker 8: to take the baby everywhere, ends up sick, that ends

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Speaker 8: up back in the hospital, and especially with ours b

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Speaker 8: being so like serious, you know, where babies do end

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Speaker 8: up on oxygen, you know, so that can pass away

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Speaker 8: from that. I agree with her one hundred percent, Like,

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Speaker 8: just take care of her, have herhal you know, because

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Speaker 8: that's very important as well as a mom to heal

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Speaker 8: and not you know, like start doing stuff too early

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Speaker 8: because then you know you're gonna have all these those

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Speaker 8: dress Sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you guys mom here. Yeah, you call that

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Speaker 1: a good day.

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Speaker 2: This is a good point on the text, by the way,

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Speaker 2: And I was thinking about this the other day too.

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Speaker 2: I think we give too much weight to the actual

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Speaker 2: date of the holiday. Why does it have to be

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Speaker 2: twelve twenty five? Get together in January? The kids don't care.

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Speaker 2: My family celebrated Christmas as early as the first week

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Speaker 2: of December. If that's when extended family could get together,

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Speaker 2: I guess. I guess there's it's kind of a mental thing.

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Speaker 2: Everyone else is together on this day, doing this thing,

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Speaker 2: posting their pictures on instag right exactly so. But I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, yesterday I was at the airport.

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Speaker 2: I see the airline pilots get on this thing. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you know a lot of these guys are going to

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Speaker 2: have to work on Christmas Christmas Eve. I'm sure that

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Speaker 2: they have kids, and it's like, well, we'll just do

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Speaker 2: it when I get back, or we'll do it the

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Speaker 2: day before, or for your friends right right, because you're

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Speaker 2: rist respond exactly, he's a hobby's a firefighter.

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Speaker 4: I'm on the radio.

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Speaker 1: You're my first.

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Speaker 3: So clear, this isn't off on Christmas the Paulina.

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Speaker 2: So you're the first person I call when I need something,

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Speaker 2: So you know, fire in the house, Paulina. You know

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Speaker 2: I'm choking on something. Paulina. Hey, Teresa, Hey, high to reasons.

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Speaker 2: So Kiki's Court. Basically, we have a situation where a

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Speaker 2: mother in law wants her daughter in law and her

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Speaker 2: grandkids at Christmas, but she just gave birth six weeks

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Speaker 2: ago and she's saying no, and she's getting guilted for that.

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Speaker 5: I think she has ever right to say no. I

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Speaker 5: gave birth my daughter, who's going to be eighteen December

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Speaker 5: twenty first, had to get released from the hospital early

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Speaker 5: because both sides of my family still expected me to

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Speaker 5: host and I did.

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Speaker 7: This.

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Speaker 8: Mom should be empowered and stay home.

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Speaker 2: Yeah wow, I think my mom would tell you the

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Speaker 2: same thing. She hosted Thanksgiving. I think she had me

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Speaker 2: the next day, but she didn't know I was. I

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Speaker 2: was early, but yeah, I think the expectation was or

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Speaker 2: maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I don't remember one

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Speaker 2: of the case. Maybe people have expectations and oh wow crazy,

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Speaker 2: that is nuts. And now it's weird that you still

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Speaker 2: won't let them come eighteen years later. But that's a whole.

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Speaker 1: Different thing.

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Speaker 6: From that family.

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Speaker 1: Well, you definitely won't let them come. So there it is.

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Speaker 5: Whether my mother in love hosts now, she's amazing.

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Speaker 2: There you go, Theresa, thank you, have a good day,

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Speaker 2: Mary Christmas. I don't think there's I'm looking at all

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Speaker 2: these texts. There's not one counter take here. There's not

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Speaker 2: one person going.

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Speaker 3: Well, I was looking for a boomer that would like

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Speaker 3: stand on business.

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Speaker 2: Yeah again, where's my mom? She's in a sleep Still.

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Speaker 2: Later she'll text him and she'll think it's me, but

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Speaker 2: it's to everybody.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I did it, but maybe I'm a mat another

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Speaker 1: one on a NIP.

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Speaker 2: I promise you whenever the moment this is heard in Arizona,

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Speaker 2: which is going to be somewhere three or four hours

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Speaker 2: from now, I'm going to get a call.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I'm awesome.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna everybody your sister again.

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Speaker 4: It comes Frost Mom.

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Speaker 1: She mayn't even hurt in her sleep, so you gonna

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Speaker 1: wake up now