WEBVTT - Ep 74: Self Esteem

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<v Speaker 1>Loud and Quiet presents Midnight Chats.

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<v Speaker 2>Evening listeners, Greg here with a special one off episode

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<v Speaker 2>of Midnight Chats. At the moment, we are actually in

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<v Speaker 2>the middle of taking a bit of a break over

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<v Speaker 2>the summer. As Stu mentioned in the final episode of

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<v Speaker 2>series seven that was the one with Georgia, we're taking

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<v Speaker 2>this time to record a bunch of new chats, the

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<v Speaker 2>stuff that will form Series eight that will begin at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the summer, sort of late August, early

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<v Speaker 2>September something like that. We'll let you know when we'll

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<v Speaker 2>be coming back with a full proper series. Anyway, it

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<v Speaker 2>felt like a bit of a waste to hold onto

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<v Speaker 2>this episode until then. We were just keen to get

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<v Speaker 2>it out there and share it with you as a

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<v Speaker 2>bit of an in between series special, let's call it that.

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<v Speaker 2>In the middle of May I went to Brighton for

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<v Speaker 2>the Great Escape Festival. If you don't know it, it's

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<v Speaker 2>basically the festival when it comes to new artists, not

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<v Speaker 2>just from the UK but international stuff. Something like four

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<v Speaker 2>hundred performers maybe even more than that, playing down by

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<v Speaker 2>the Seaside across three nights, across loads of different venues,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was Brilliant. I had a great time, watched

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<v Speaker 2>a bunch of bands, discovered some good new stuff, got

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<v Speaker 2>mugged for my chips by some enormous seagulls, which I

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<v Speaker 2>hear is fairly standard practice. And there's a daytime part

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<v Speaker 2>to it all too, the Great Escape Conference which has

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<v Speaker 2>loads of interesting talks and workshops, panels, things like that,

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<v Speaker 2>And they were kind enough to invite us to record

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<v Speaker 2>a live episode of Midnight Chats, and we couldn't have

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<v Speaker 2>picked a better guest, to be honest. Self Esteem came

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<v Speaker 2>along early on the Friday morning to record what you're

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<v Speaker 2>about to hear. We've wanted Rebecca Taylor on the POT

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<v Speaker 2>cast for a while, ever since we got sent the

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<v Speaker 2>first tracks she made after leaving the band Slow Club

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<v Speaker 2>and starting this solo project, Self Esteem. Compliments Please, was

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<v Speaker 2>the debut album she released earlier this year. We talk

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<v Speaker 2>a bit about that and what it was like taking

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<v Speaker 2>the major step out of that band. She'd been in

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<v Speaker 2>that band a long time and starting fresh again, not

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<v Speaker 2>just with a new sound, but kind of with a

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<v Speaker 2>new everything. The documentary film I mentioned in this is

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<v Speaker 2>called Our Most Brilliant Friends. It's directed by a guy

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<v Speaker 2>called Piers Dennis and that sets the scene well, and

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<v Speaker 2>do check it out. There's a trailer on YouTube. It

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<v Speaker 2>just got released to UK cinemas last week and it's

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<v Speaker 2>very candid, not your average band documentary, so definitely want

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<v Speaker 2>to watch. Even if you're not a fan of Slow

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<v Speaker 2>Club or don't know that much about them, check it

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<v Speaker 2>out because it's quite fascinating and definitely different to what

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<v Speaker 2>you might have seen before. Anyway. More importantly, Rebecca was

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<v Speaker 2>about to go and do the TV and go and

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<v Speaker 2>channel for Sunday Brunch after we recorded this. She was

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<v Speaker 2>very excited, understandably, but in this she also talks about

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<v Speaker 2>why she compares herself to Henry the Eighth now and

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<v Speaker 2>wants to duet with Rihanna. So if that's not a

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<v Speaker 2>good enough preview for you, I'm not sure what is.

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<v Speaker 2>So until we get back properly with a whole new

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<v Speaker 2>series of the podcast later in the year, enjoy this

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<v Speaker 2>recorded at the Great Escape Festival twenty nineteen on midnight Chats.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, so many people are here and it's packed.

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<v Speaker 2>In, isn't it. Rebecca, how are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm great?

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<v Speaker 2>How are you I'm good? I'm good. You've got quite

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<v Speaker 2>a prestigious few days lined up around this. Yesterday you

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<v Speaker 2>did be six Music Roundtable, so yes, today is the

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<v Speaker 2>Great Escape, which is a big deal as we know.

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<v Speaker 2>And later in the weekend you're doing the Telly.

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<v Speaker 1>Aren't you the National Telly? My favorite thing to do

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<v Speaker 1>in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, tell me what you do.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm on Sunday Brunch.

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<v Speaker 2>Excellent, they're looking forward to it.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, it's the main music show one can get on,

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<v Speaker 3>and it's a cooking show.

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<v Speaker 2>Or Andrew Maher, isn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, hope, hopefully we can do the double But are

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<v Speaker 1>you looking forward to it?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? I love all that hair make up Telly very

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<v Speaker 3>bright last time I met Michael Ball, So yeah, I

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<v Speaker 3>really love you know, like things that properly or the

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<v Speaker 3>cool musicians think is lain I love it? Or loads

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<v Speaker 3>I love a sponsored gig.

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<v Speaker 2>The more corporate, the bet.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know why I do, but I do.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry to not give you any free sort of merchandise

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<v Speaker 2>as part of this way, We'll try and find something there.

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<v Speaker 2>So Sunday Brunch. Then I had a quick look and

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<v Speaker 2>you're on with some people from Made in Chelsea.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, two blondes annoyingly so I think I'm worried about

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<v Speaker 3>my representation. I think I'm going to fade into the

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<v Speaker 3>background a bit. I'm not very excited about any of

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<v Speaker 3>the guests.

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<v Speaker 2>If I'm honest, disappointed No Michael Ball in.

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<v Speaker 3>The no Ball, but it'll still be funny. And being

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<v Speaker 3>there as self esteems feels.

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<v Speaker 1>Quite kind of a big deal. I feel kind of

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<v Speaker 1>proud about it.

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<v Speaker 2>So you've done it before, obviously, And what was the

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<v Speaker 2>experience like?

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<v Speaker 3>Very difficult because when I was in the in Slow club,

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<v Speaker 3>no one else liked that kind of thing, so it

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<v Speaker 3>was quite hard. And I'm a desperate people pleaser, so

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<v Speaker 3>I was just like, I felt really responsible that everyone

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<v Speaker 3>hated that they were on the Telly, whereas I was

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<v Speaker 3>having a nice time. So this time might be fun

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<v Speaker 3>because my band role as daft as me, so we'll

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<v Speaker 3>all be enjoying it.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm assuming a lot of people listening to

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<v Speaker 2>this will know what a new Bunches is an early

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<v Speaker 2>morning cooking stroke entertainment show on Channel four and it's

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<v Speaker 2>hosted by Tim Lovejoy and celebrity chef Simon Rimmer.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, one of my favorite memories of the last one. Sorry,

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<v Speaker 3>mel I tweeted, We're on Sunday Brunch to Nap Today

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<v Speaker 3>with Tim love Geryman Simon rim Job and Mel was like,

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<v Speaker 3>could you take that tweet down please? But I became

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<v Speaker 3>buddies with Simon Rimmer after he's dead. Nice, he's been

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<v Speaker 3>to my Manchester shows.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've always felt like he of that duo es

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<v Speaker 2>off him.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Tim love Joe comes up on solebrity Tinder and

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<v Speaker 3>has never swiped yes on me because obviously I say

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<v Speaker 3>yes to all the celebrities because it's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to bring that up.

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<v Speaker 2>Have they been on any celebrity dates?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean said, I couldn't tell you not off that

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<v Speaker 3>app though I'm deleting that up.

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<v Speaker 1>It's rubbish.

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<v Speaker 2>Disappointed. So when you go on these things something like

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<v Speaker 2>Sunday Brunch, do you you're going to perform on Sunday?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, do you get to do any cooking?

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<v Speaker 3>Well we were trying to get them to let me cook,

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<v Speaker 3>but I'm not famous enough. I'm like bottom of the

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<v Speaker 3>wrong and that line up Lewis Capaldi got to but hey,

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<v Speaker 3>maybe next help.

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<v Speaker 2>Them to no jealousy here.

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<v Speaker 3>I just realized how much my like I may call

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<v Speaker 3>this music and I'm like, ah, and I'm so like,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm very serious about all that. But then still I

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<v Speaker 3>gauge it by whether or not, like I'm cooking an omelet,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm telling you or not, that still is success more

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<v Speaker 3>than like any of my really hard work.

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<v Speaker 1>That's fine.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you make me one promise if on Sunday they

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<v Speaker 2>presume me there's a bit where they say Jamie from

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<v Speaker 2>Maiding Chelsea has made you a steak tutar or some

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<v Speaker 2>snails or something and you have to try it, will

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<v Speaker 2>you call them out if it's not very nice? Because

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<v Speaker 2>most people just the default answer just go there's a

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<v Speaker 2>sort of pause, isn't there and they go, oh, that

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<v Speaker 2>is delicious.

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<v Speaker 3>I have a feeling I would probably say if I

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<v Speaker 3>don't like it, I'm to lose.

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<v Speaker 1>At this point, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't think, but yeah, I as with this, like I

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<v Speaker 3>don't really prep I just think, oh, just just take

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<v Speaker 3>it as it comes, see what happens. Same with the

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<v Speaker 3>roundtable yesterday or the other guests had listened to the

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<v Speaker 3>songs and made notes and I was like, yeah, I

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<v Speaker 3>mean I learned my lesson with the six Music Roundtable

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<v Speaker 3>long ago after sort of slagging something off and then

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<v Speaker 3>a tour manager I had told me that he'd been

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<v Speaker 3>he'd been driving this band and they were just like

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<v Speaker 3>ripping me to shreds because I'd said their song was

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<v Speaker 3>shit and like about what I look like and things

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<v Speaker 3>like that. So since then I was like, okay, when

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<v Speaker 3>you're on the round table, which happens a lot, because

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<v Speaker 3>I think I'm I think I'm the only woman.

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<v Speaker 1>In music that they can think of.

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<v Speaker 3>Sometimes I thought, And so now I just go, I

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<v Speaker 3>give everything a seven and say everyone has a right

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<v Speaker 3>to my music.

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<v Speaker 1>And also once heard someone slagging a slow.

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<v Speaker 3>Club song off on it and I, instead of having

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<v Speaker 3>any confidence or self esteem hond was like out, so yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>I just sa same with the TV, just keep it

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<v Speaker 3>or very kind of nice.

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<v Speaker 2>If you were cooking on Sunday bunch, what would you

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<v Speaker 2>be making?

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<v Speaker 1>Beans on tests? Probably? I do love they said.

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<v Speaker 3>They asked me in the research chat, what's your favorite food?

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<v Speaker 3>And all I could think of as beans on test.

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<v Speaker 1>I am quite the cook.

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<v Speaker 3>Actually I do like a fish tacko with a quackam

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<v Speaker 3>only all that sort of thing. When I lived alone,

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<v Speaker 3>I cooked a lot and that's a form of procrastination.

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<v Speaker 3>But now I'm in London again and I'm living with

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<v Speaker 3>people and I'm really busy.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just a discounted it. So at the end of

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<v Speaker 1>the day, at the moment, so as you.

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<v Speaker 2>Mentioned, you're kind of quite keen on doing stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 2>The more it seems like, the more surreal, the more

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<v Speaker 2>up for it. I mean, those things are probably a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit sort of strange on they almost becomes a

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<v Speaker 2>weird experience at a TV studio, you're with some people

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<v Speaker 2>from the reality TV show. It's just a different field

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<v Speaker 2>to the whole thing. It's not it's not your average

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<v Speaker 2>day in the office, so to speak. Are you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of generally up for those type of experiences, like you

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<v Speaker 2>just reliship this sort of the stranger more, the more different,

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<v Speaker 2>the sort of bring it on.

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<v Speaker 1>I think so.

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<v Speaker 3>I think because I was in like an indie band

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<v Speaker 3>for so long and so much of that was about

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<v Speaker 3>it's sort of I think like as a teenager, I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, cool, I'm doing those finger things for the

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<v Speaker 3>podcast listeners. And something happened when and I realized I'm

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<v Speaker 3>really tired of doing that, and I actually really liked

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<v Speaker 3>Telly and especially like UK Telly and I like just

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<v Speaker 3>no pretense and things like some ne brunch.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just not cool, and that's what I like about it.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just being confident, I guess, or yourself or I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a good question. I don't know why I love it.

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<v Speaker 3>And also it's like I've been doing this for so

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<v Speaker 3>long and still.

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<v Speaker 1>There's like members of my family that are like, when

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<v Speaker 1>are you going to go on Next Factor?

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<v Speaker 3>Like I do really appreciate these barometers of like success

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<v Speaker 3>that that makes sense to people.

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<v Speaker 1>That don't understand that I've sort of I've done all

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<v Speaker 1>right music.

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<v Speaker 3>Same with Glastonbury, Like playing that is really like finally

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<v Speaker 3>having an actual set of Glastonbury's really help the understanding

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<v Speaker 3>in the wider family and friends, people from school, you know, yeah, do.

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<v Speaker 2>You need it properly?

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<v Speaker 3>Then? Yeah, I don't know why. That's still it's like

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<v Speaker 3>one thing that still bothers me.

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<v Speaker 2>But with the TV stuff, is there any shows that

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<v Speaker 2>are still out there that you would absolutely have to do?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you not going to stop until you are like

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<v Speaker 2>a Judge or X Factor?

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<v Speaker 1>It would be brilliant bothers me.

0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'd love to do it all, but I'm aware

0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:43.000
<v Speaker 3>that I'm like not famous enough right, But as soon

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:46.120
<v Speaker 3>as if I slightly. Was I clean up on them

0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:50.320
<v Speaker 3>more eight out of ten cats? Yes, I'd love to

0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.520
<v Speaker 3>do Jiles Holland That's another annoying milestone, isn't it. But

0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:57.079
<v Speaker 3>years have been like maybe they really like you, and

0:11:57.160 --> 0:12:00.560
<v Speaker 3>then it didn't happen, So psychologically I have to let

0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:01.960
<v Speaker 3>go of that kind of thing. And he's not on

0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.439
<v Speaker 3>air at the minute, which has really helped because I'm like, oh, like,

0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:05.520
<v Speaker 3>I'll get on it anyway.

0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.160
<v Speaker 1>It's not a failure if it's not on air.

0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 2>Surely that's on the cards, though they need.

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:11.079
<v Speaker 1>To make you think that.

0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:14.800
<v Speaker 3>But this is my whole career has always felt a

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:18.920
<v Speaker 3>bit like not quite so. But I'm making my peace

0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.319
<v Speaker 3>with that now as a mature woman in the industry.

0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm proud of what I do. I would like to

0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:25.720
<v Speaker 3>be making it on.

0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.760
<v Speaker 2>What I'm telling you, though at some point maybe this Sunday,

0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:29.120
<v Speaker 2>you never know.

0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Maybe.

0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.440
<v Speaker 2>So this is the great escape for people again that

0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.120
<v Speaker 2>maybe aren't sure of what that is. If you're listening,

0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 2>if you're not here. It's a new bands festival. Basically,

0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:41.160
<v Speaker 2>people come to check out the hot new things you've

0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:44.120
<v Speaker 2>been to the greatest shape before, presumably as part in

0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.199
<v Speaker 2>your kind of old life as you put it with

0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.679
<v Speaker 2>slow Club. But what is it like? Presumably the last

0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.439
<v Speaker 2>sort of year eighteen months has been had a few

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:56.880
<v Speaker 2>experiences where you are because of this new project going

0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 2>back and doing the new new artist thing, if that

0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:00.880
<v Speaker 2>makes sense. So what is that like?

0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:02.880
<v Speaker 3>It's been so weird and I don't think I realized

0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:06.280
<v Speaker 3>that that would be happening. So the first few we did,

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.280
<v Speaker 3>like a new band's night at the Night and Day

0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.760
<v Speaker 3>Cafe in Manchester, which is one of the first places

0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.280
<v Speaker 3>outside of Sheffield. Me and Charles played and I was like,

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.319
<v Speaker 3>what's in in there? And with my new band we're

0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 3>all like dressed up and I was like, oh, it's

0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.000
<v Speaker 3>a new band night. And the dressing room we were

0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.959
<v Speaker 3>sharing with all these like genuinely like eighteen year old

0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:30.160
<v Speaker 3>boys with like that, we're really excited, and they had

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.040
<v Speaker 3>their own mini speakers and they were playing like surge

0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:33.160
<v Speaker 3>games bugs through the speakers.

0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:34.720
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I hate all of you.

0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.560
<v Speaker 3>And then I realized, no, You've got to suck all

0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.800
<v Speaker 3>this up because I'm like, it's not an ego. I

0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:45.680
<v Speaker 3>haven't got big ego. It's more like my life had

0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.600
<v Speaker 3>just that that wasn't it anymore. So I was just

0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:53.080
<v Speaker 3>really shocked. I was like, why are all these boys here? Why? Yeah,

0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:56.200
<v Speaker 3>So it was quite really funny for me to realize

0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:57.600
<v Speaker 3>I've gone back to the start.

0:13:57.800 --> 0:13:59.360
<v Speaker 1>And I struggled with it at.

0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.959
<v Speaker 3>First and thought I'm too old or I feel really

0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:05.959
<v Speaker 3>worried that I've gone back in time and what if

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:06.400
<v Speaker 3>it don't work?

0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:07.120
<v Speaker 1>What if it don't work?

0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:11.120
<v Speaker 3>But I've enjoyed it, it turns out, because it's going

0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:13.320
<v Speaker 3>back to being like I sort of used to feel

0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 3>like this is really early slow club days, Like when

0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:16.840
<v Speaker 3>we do like open mics, I'd be like, I know

0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 3>it will be like at least interesting on that bill.

0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.400
<v Speaker 3>I mean, this won't come across well on the radio,

0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.480
<v Speaker 3>but I do think I just know, like we'll be

0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:26.600
<v Speaker 3>really good on these new band things.

0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:31.600
<v Speaker 1>So I've enjoyed the like, yeah, you wait till we

0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.200
<v Speaker 1>get on feeling.

0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:36.080
<v Speaker 2>With competitiveness of it a little bit, which is bad.

0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:40.680
<v Speaker 3>But and also like I've just done it for so

0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:44.280
<v Speaker 3>long that I don't feel the anxieties and the stresses

0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:47.640
<v Speaker 3>that knew like I did when I first started. So

0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:51.160
<v Speaker 3>it's just a joy to perform now in no matter

0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 3>where it is.

0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Really before we.

0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:55.920
<v Speaker 2>Talk a bit about compliments please, which is the DeBie

0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:59.720
<v Speaker 2>Amley release theory this year? In my research for Chatting

0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:03.000
<v Speaker 2>to Today, I watched the Slow Club documentary came out

0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:03.880
<v Speaker 2>at the end of last year.

0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:05.360
<v Speaker 1>How to get that?

0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.640
<v Speaker 2>It's got a secret email, didn't I? It's been screened

0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:10.120
<v Speaker 2>at a couple of places, isn't it. It's going to

0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:12.840
<v Speaker 2>be shown in a few different places for people to

0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.800
<v Speaker 2>see possibly later this year, scored down most Brilliant Friends

0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:19.840
<v Speaker 2>and essentially it's a kind of hour long movie documentary

0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:24.880
<v Speaker 2>that explores or charts sort of the final Slow Club tour,

0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:28.240
<v Speaker 2>doesn't it? And the fair to say, the kind of

0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:31.880
<v Speaker 2>last chapter of that band kind of things As you

0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:34.240
<v Speaker 2>were yourself and Charles were kind of like that project

0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.960
<v Speaker 2>was sort of coming to a close. Well yeah, well

0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:38.840
<v Speaker 2>you tell people about it. What do you think of

0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 2>the documentary?

0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.440
<v Speaker 3>I wish I could quite remember how it was born,

0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:49.120
<v Speaker 3>but basically Peers Dennis, who made it, it's like a

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:52.200
<v Speaker 3>close friend of both Charles and I, and he'd made

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.920
<v Speaker 3>a few videos for us, and I don't I think

0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:56.760
<v Speaker 3>I think it was me. I was like, we should

0:15:56.800 --> 0:16:00.320
<v Speaker 3>have someone come on on this last tour, not because

0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.440
<v Speaker 3>I particularly thought it was going to be the last

0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:06.320
<v Speaker 3>tour but I don't know why. Maybe I don't know,

0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:12.320
<v Speaker 3>and our our manager sort of said yeah, and it

0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.920
<v Speaker 3>was meant to just be like a tour doc, but

0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 3>it has turned into this really poignant I think it's

0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.920
<v Speaker 3>kind of amazing how well he managed to make it balanced,

0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:30.520
<v Speaker 3>and it's about friendship really and.

0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.760
<v Speaker 1>And letting go of something.

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:37.040
<v Speaker 3>Rather than like about being on tour, which I think

0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:40.560
<v Speaker 3>it's far more interesting to watch. The whole thing is

0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:44.760
<v Speaker 3>extremely emotional for me, as you can imagine, because Charles

0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 3>and I didn't talk much to each other, but for

0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:51.720
<v Speaker 3>some reason, both in this film talk to the filmmaker

0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.479
<v Speaker 3>every step of the way. We both were like independent,

0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:57.760
<v Speaker 3>independently watching it and okaying it. So the whole time

0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:59.560
<v Speaker 3>I was like, well, if he's okay with it, I'm

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.080
<v Speaker 3>okay with it. And it's just like this is such

0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:04.080
<v Speaker 3>a weird. I mean, it's just stupid. We should just

0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:09.679
<v Speaker 3>get drunk and talk. But but like from an art

0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.760
<v Speaker 3>point perspective, I kept saying to Piers, like the stuff

0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:16.720
<v Speaker 3>I find interesting is the stuff that's TMI or whatever.

0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:20.679
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, if I look paint me badly,

0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:25.000
<v Speaker 3>paint me honestly, like I I don't want something that's

0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:27.440
<v Speaker 3>biased or glorifying me at all.

0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if Charles said the same SOS.

0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.040
<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh god, I'm like having this like

0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Tracy esque, like yeah, it doesn't even.

0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:36.639
<v Speaker 2>Real me and.

0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:41.160
<v Speaker 3>And I don't think he would be comfortable with that angle.

0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.280
<v Speaker 3>So for a while I was like, oh shit, but

0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.560
<v Speaker 3>it is. It's as a piece of art. I'm like,

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.880
<v Speaker 3>it's really cool and brave and stuff, and I'm glad

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.800
<v Speaker 3>it exists. They screened it and then we had a

0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.119
<v Speaker 3>Q and A and we were both there and that

0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.680
<v Speaker 3>was one of the worst experiences of my life because

0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.400
<v Speaker 3>there's so much tension, and some prick in the audience

0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.480
<v Speaker 3>asked a question about that was sort of very kind

0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.199
<v Speaker 3>to me and not very kind to Charles, and it

0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.280
<v Speaker 3>was dreadful. And I was like Michael McIntyre at the Palladium, like.

0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:15.240
<v Speaker 1>A Wallyly no joking jog joke.

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:19.240
<v Speaker 3>Which is the sort of microcosm of the whole band. Really,

0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 3>it's like, we don't we haven't worked. Our relationship has

0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.679
<v Speaker 3>been tough because we don't talk, and instead of that

0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:31.120
<v Speaker 3>we both go harbord aller And it was just yeah,

0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:33.480
<v Speaker 3>it's on YouTube, and I sort of hate watched it

0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.840
<v Speaker 3>the other day and thought, oh god, well, my hair

0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:37.520
<v Speaker 3>looks really nice.

0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:39.520
<v Speaker 1>I just have my roots done, so that was good.

0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:44.320
<v Speaker 2>Use the words honest and poignan, and it is both

0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.840
<v Speaker 2>those things. It's kind of the opposite of, you know,

0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:50.919
<v Speaker 2>these incredibly stylized tool documentaries that people put out to

0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:54.439
<v Speaker 2>kind of present the best versions of themselves, like if

0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.560
<v Speaker 2>you go on if you watched like a well, a big,

0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:02.120
<v Speaker 2>like a multi million bound pop stars kind of documentary,

0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:03.760
<v Speaker 2>sometimes you're just kind of like, well, I'm not really

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:06.480
<v Speaker 2>quite sure what I'm actually learning about this artist. I'm

0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:09.160
<v Speaker 2>just seeing this presentation and it all looks very slick

0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:12.360
<v Speaker 2>and everything else, but it actually in sort of exploring

0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:15.639
<v Speaker 2>the mundaneity of kind of of what a tour is.

0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.359
<v Speaker 2>It's actually very moving, I felt. And it's like some

0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:21.960
<v Speaker 2>moments in it that there's a bit where you're in

0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:25.160
<v Speaker 2>the tour venually can't unlock the door, and it's really

0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:28.240
<v Speaker 2>funny but nobody's laughing. But it's just like those were

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:29.880
<v Speaker 2>the things that your day would have been filled with

0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.800
<v Speaker 2>when you were kind of the stuff that people effectively think, oh,

0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:34.159
<v Speaker 2>that's too boring to go in there, or it was

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:37.320
<v Speaker 2>too mundane, it was too human. You've kept that's been

0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:40.000
<v Speaker 2>kept in and that's actually what makes it special. Yeah,

0:19:40.119 --> 0:19:42.199
<v Speaker 2>I definitely urge people to check it out. Was that

0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.280
<v Speaker 2>the first time that you saw it and Childs saw

0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.600
<v Speaker 2>it in the same room, that's okay, that's awkward.

0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it was. Well. I first saw it.

0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:53.280
<v Speaker 3>Peers was sort of because he's Peers is really sensitive

0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:55.640
<v Speaker 3>and he and I are really close, so I knew

0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:57.920
<v Speaker 3>that he would and he took it all really seriously

0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.119
<v Speaker 3>and he sort of made sure me seeing it for

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:01.679
<v Speaker 3>the first time, I was like at his flat and

0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:05.000
<v Speaker 3>he made it all nice. And I cried my eyes

0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:06.959
<v Speaker 3>out watching it the first time because I just felt

0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:10.000
<v Speaker 3>Number one, it was a long time since that time,

0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:11.960
<v Speaker 3>and like my hair's all really long and natural, I

0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:14.359
<v Speaker 3>feel like it and I was a different It felt

0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.480
<v Speaker 3>like watching a different person because I was so crestfallen.

0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:20.879
<v Speaker 3>I think about my career because and it was the

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:24.040
<v Speaker 3>mundanity and showing that like two people on.

0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:24.720
<v Speaker 1>The outside like.

0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:28.800
<v Speaker 3>We were a cool band who can film venues. It's

0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:30.240
<v Speaker 3>like life must be great.

0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:30.919
<v Speaker 1>What a dream?

0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:34.199
<v Speaker 3>And it like for me, that wasn't the dream and

0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:37.200
<v Speaker 3>it certainly wasn't the dream anymore, and I hadn't felt

0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 3>really frustrated because I did not know how to go

0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:42.040
<v Speaker 3>to the next level. And I had been made to

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:43.600
<v Speaker 3>feel for a long time that that was a really

0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.199
<v Speaker 3>like shitty quality about me, that I was ambitious and

0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:47.919
<v Speaker 3>that was not the point, and that made me not

0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:51.560
<v Speaker 3>a real musician or a true artist. So then the

0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:53.520
<v Speaker 3>documentary has a lot of me being like I want

0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:57.159
<v Speaker 3>to be on Jules holland, like I want to be

0:20:57.320 --> 0:21:00.880
<v Speaker 3>at least, you know, in the long list, and that's

0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:03.879
<v Speaker 3>sort of desperate and sad and really not cool. But

0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:07.719
<v Speaker 3>like I mean, I just quit trying to keep up

0:21:07.720 --> 0:21:11.520
<v Speaker 3>any pretense. And the thing about like doing self esteem

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:15.800
<v Speaker 3>has been that like what if nothing changes, and nothing

0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:18.280
<v Speaker 3>might change, I might not play any bigger venues, I

0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:20.200
<v Speaker 3>might not get on any of these things, none.

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Of these big exciting benchmarks. They might not happen to me.

0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:30.880
<v Speaker 3>But at least, like day and day out, I could

0:21:30.880 --> 0:21:34.639
<v Speaker 3>be surrounded by like minded people. I could be at

0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 3>least if I'm playing like Cardiff Barfly. Yeah again, and

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:40.480
<v Speaker 3>it stinks there's no dressing room, but at least I

0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:43.959
<v Speaker 3>can be on the stage dancing now and in an

0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:48.960
<v Speaker 3>outfit I've designed and we're all caked in makeup and

0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:51.600
<v Speaker 3>we're all having a great time, and it's all I'm

0:21:51.600 --> 0:21:56.040
<v Speaker 3>making my own little arena shows. Just more that genuinely

0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:58.840
<v Speaker 3>was like, I just need to change what it's like

0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 3>day to day so it's not so because it would

0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:04.639
<v Speaker 3>be like a miserable day. And then it was getting

0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:07.200
<v Speaker 3>that I felt miserable on stage, like just looking forward

0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:09.679
<v Speaker 3>to the little bits I've got to sing on my

0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:14.040
<v Speaker 3>own maybe or and just logic prevailed eventually and I

0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:18.840
<v Speaker 3>was like, I'm really unhappy and it's not getting any better.

0:22:18.960 --> 0:22:23.600
<v Speaker 2>So self esteem then yeah, go on. Then yeah, when

0:22:23.920 --> 0:22:26.280
<v Speaker 2>it sounds like obviously we got to hear the Debi

0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:29.120
<v Speaker 2>album earlier this year, but it sounds like the seeds

0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:31.000
<v Speaker 2>of that kind of nucleus of that would have gone

0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:33.960
<v Speaker 2>back quite away. I mean that the documentary we've just

0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:37.520
<v Speaker 2>been talking about is around the period or twenty sixteen,

0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:41.040
<v Speaker 2>something like that, a few years ago. Maybe Yeah, yeah,

0:22:41.040 --> 0:22:43.439
<v Speaker 2>I think these ambitions you were talking about, and like

0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 2>the desire to want to do something that was more

0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:48.480
<v Speaker 2>personally fulfilling, how far back did that go? Because even

0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:49.720
<v Speaker 2>if you didn't know it was going to be called

0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 2>self esteem and it was going to be you know,

0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:54.760
<v Speaker 2>more of a pop music thing, et cetera. Did you

0:22:54.800 --> 0:22:56.520
<v Speaker 2>always dream of that? Did that even exist before you

0:22:56.520 --> 0:22:57.160
<v Speaker 2>did Slow Club?

0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:00.200
<v Speaker 1>I think like, if you ask me honestly, I was

0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:02.920
<v Speaker 1>like eighteen, what do I want to do? It would

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:03.359
<v Speaker 1>have been this.

0:23:03.880 --> 0:23:07.400
<v Speaker 3>But I was in Sheffield and I was like the

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:11.439
<v Speaker 3>indie girl at school and and like I said earlier,

0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:14.640
<v Speaker 3>like addled with this like obsession with being cool.

0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:16.920
<v Speaker 1>And also what was like available.

0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:18.240
<v Speaker 3>To me was like being in bands with boys with

0:23:18.280 --> 0:23:22.200
<v Speaker 3>guitars in town like this kind of thing. And also

0:23:22.240 --> 0:23:27.320
<v Speaker 3>pop music back then was still like it's it's become

0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:31.640
<v Speaker 3>the most exciting genre and it doesn't between Indian pop

0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:34.440
<v Speaker 3>doesn't exist anymore. And I do think like those lines

0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:37.520
<v Speaker 3>are just blurred and gone and wheel of Ariana Grande

0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:40.919
<v Speaker 3>and that's fine now, But back then, like I just

0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:44.320
<v Speaker 3>kept it hidden how much I loved Destiny's Child and stuff.

0:23:45.480 --> 0:23:49.119
<v Speaker 3>And I'm annoyingly quite like like I can write on

0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:50.960
<v Speaker 3>spec kind of thing. If you say, write me a

0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 3>folks so I can write a folk song, or I

0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:55.879
<v Speaker 3>can look like a folk singer or so. It was

0:23:55.920 --> 0:24:00.399
<v Speaker 3>a bit adaptable as man and libra. So I just

0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:03.200
<v Speaker 3>really and that was it. I just played and played

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:05.720
<v Speaker 3>a role early on that I could. I liked it

0:24:05.840 --> 0:24:06.720
<v Speaker 3>not I loved.

0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:09.320
<v Speaker 1>Bright eyes and stuff like that till in the wall.

0:24:09.359 --> 0:24:11.679
<v Speaker 3>Actually they helped because they were at least in like

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:14.040
<v Speaker 3>daft clothes and dancing a bit.

0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:17.560
<v Speaker 2>With that in mind slightly kind of different tangent of

0:24:17.600 --> 0:24:21.080
<v Speaker 2>a question, but with things like writing for other people,

0:24:21.320 --> 0:24:25.120
<v Speaker 2>like writing pop writing camps and things like that, or

0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:27.760
<v Speaker 2>collaborating with like would you collaborate with like an EDM

0:24:27.880 --> 0:24:30.680
<v Speaker 2>DJ and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, if Calvin Harris

0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:31.800
<v Speaker 2>give you a call, you do it.

0:24:31.840 --> 0:24:32.439
<v Speaker 1>I would love that.

0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:37.880
<v Speaker 3>There was a I had an electro boyfriend right in

0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:42.119
<v Speaker 3>two thousand and like nine ten, and it was before

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:44.679
<v Speaker 3>Calvin Harris was a big deal. And when he don't me,

0:24:44.720 --> 0:24:46.360
<v Speaker 3>we were like who can I go out with? Who

0:24:46.359 --> 0:24:49.000
<v Speaker 3>can I go out there? That's like beat him or

0:24:49.160 --> 0:24:53.600
<v Speaker 3>like Calvin Harris. It never happened. Yeah, I love all that.

0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:56.080
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I've got a bit of a feeling that

0:24:56.800 --> 0:25:00.080
<v Speaker 3>I need to keep self esteem sonically, like exactly what

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:04.320
<v Speaker 3>is in my mind? But I've got nothing to lose,

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:07.200
<v Speaker 3>so I could go and feature or on other things.

0:25:07.200 --> 0:25:10.199
<v Speaker 3>And it doesn't mean like she's gone dance or something like.

0:25:11.320 --> 0:25:13.159
<v Speaker 3>I feel like self esteem can stay as this like

0:25:13.200 --> 0:25:17.080
<v Speaker 3>ankornw and I've sort of improved what it is i'd

0:25:17.119 --> 0:25:19.240
<v Speaker 3>love to My dream job is writing for Little Mix.

0:25:19.359 --> 0:25:19.879
<v Speaker 1>Definitely.

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:24.560
<v Speaker 2>That doesn't feel like unachievable anyway, right, Well, I hope not.

0:25:25.280 --> 0:25:26.639
<v Speaker 1>I want that Little.

0:25:26.359 --> 0:25:29.760
<v Speaker 2>Mikes notoriously listen to our podcast, So there you go. Yeah, exactly.

0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:31.840
<v Speaker 3>Well, I said to the label quite a few times,

0:25:31.880 --> 0:25:34.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if it happened. Can we make sure

0:25:34.000 --> 0:25:37.320
<v Speaker 3>my record gets to I don't know if it ever did.

0:25:37.960 --> 0:25:39.720
<v Speaker 1>But no, I love all that.

0:25:40.280 --> 0:25:42.959
<v Speaker 3>In Solcub I sort of couldn't explore writing for other

0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:45.280
<v Speaker 3>people because if someone wanted to write with club, it

0:25:45.320 --> 0:25:46.919
<v Speaker 3>was two of us and it's like, oh, we never

0:25:46.960 --> 0:25:49.320
<v Speaker 3>sort of did it because it was just like another

0:25:49.359 --> 0:25:53.120
<v Speaker 3>thing to sort of not agree on. So now I'm

0:25:53.160 --> 0:25:57.840
<v Speaker 3>a solo artist, opportunities are coming up where I can say, yeah,

0:25:57.880 --> 0:26:01.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing loads of theater things because I love all that,

0:26:01.480 --> 0:26:04.399
<v Speaker 3>and it's like really changed everything.

0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:04.879
<v Speaker 1>That's great?

0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 2>Is it put you off ever being not necessarily in

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:08.840
<v Speaker 2>that band, but a band again.

0:26:09.200 --> 0:26:13.440
<v Speaker 3>I don't think I want to not be the boss

0:26:13.480 --> 0:26:14.320
<v Speaker 3>man again.

0:26:15.720 --> 0:26:16.879
<v Speaker 2>Been to the top of the tree.

0:26:17.320 --> 0:26:20.440
<v Speaker 3>Unless like I could do a project like a collaboration,

0:26:20.640 --> 0:26:25.280
<v Speaker 3>one off thing with like you know Rihanna. Sure, but

0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:31.119
<v Speaker 3>I hope. I'm hoping I can be boss Man forever. Also,

0:26:31.400 --> 0:26:34.640
<v Speaker 3>there's a I'd love to do backing vocals for either

0:26:34.720 --> 0:26:38.400
<v Speaker 3>Rod Stewart or Peter Gabriel, so that they're the two gigs.

0:26:38.400 --> 0:26:39.280
<v Speaker 1>I'll give it all up for.

0:26:40.200 --> 0:26:41.320
<v Speaker 2>Do you like Rod Stewart?

0:26:41.680 --> 0:26:43.240
<v Speaker 1>Why has something come out about.

0:26:43.119 --> 0:26:47.760
<v Speaker 2>Him since we've been on air. No, I just I don't.

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't really like rodt it for some reason. I

0:26:51.200 --> 0:26:53.359
<v Speaker 1>just really I can find by Rod Stewart. I don't

0:26:53.359 --> 0:26:57.359
<v Speaker 1>know why Baby Jane and I saw. I used to

0:26:57.800 --> 0:26:59.040
<v Speaker 1>thought I've seen him live a.

0:26:58.960 --> 0:27:02.360
<v Speaker 2>Bit and how many times you've been seeing life.

0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:06.000
<v Speaker 3>I feel like I've been like twice two like arenas,

0:27:06.440 --> 0:27:07.600
<v Speaker 3>I don't know taking.

0:27:07.400 --> 0:27:09.000
<v Speaker 2>A parent or a grandparent.

0:27:09.160 --> 0:27:14.040
<v Speaker 1>It was with it like an ex's auntie. So maybe

0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:14.399
<v Speaker 1>it's that.

0:27:14.760 --> 0:27:17.760
<v Speaker 3>But no, there's melodically some of the Rod stew at

0:27:17.760 --> 0:27:21.720
<v Speaker 3>work is quite exquisite. It's more Peter Gabriel's my main

0:27:21.760 --> 0:27:24.760
<v Speaker 3>one because when I was a little girl, my dad.

0:27:24.960 --> 0:27:29.479
<v Speaker 3>There's this there is this like filmed concert of his.

0:27:30.480 --> 0:27:33.719
<v Speaker 3>I think it's called Brave New World or something like that,

0:27:34.119 --> 0:27:35.960
<v Speaker 3>And it was this tour that he did with like

0:27:36.480 --> 0:27:38.679
<v Speaker 3>props and staging and it's more.

0:27:38.560 --> 0:27:41.760
<v Speaker 1>Really theatrical, and it's like tree grew out of this the.

0:27:41.720 --> 0:27:44.960
<v Speaker 3>Stage and they dance and stuff and they've all got

0:27:44.960 --> 0:27:47.760
<v Speaker 3>like hands free mics and so like eight year old

0:27:47.840 --> 0:27:49.640
<v Speaker 3>me just used to be like, put the Peter Gabriel

0:27:50.119 --> 0:27:53.400
<v Speaker 3>video on again and there's a girl in it who

0:27:53.480 --> 0:27:56.800
<v Speaker 3>had like long black dress and Doc Martins and she

0:27:56.920 --> 0:27:59.159
<v Speaker 3>sings other girl bits and that it's one of my

0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:00.840
<v Speaker 3>first memories of like I want to do that.

0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:03.800
<v Speaker 1>Like so its mini dream of.

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:07.240
<v Speaker 3>Doing that gig wondery if he if he stays alive

0:28:07.240 --> 0:28:09.200
<v Speaker 3>and not canceled, if.

0:28:09.080 --> 0:28:12.920
<v Speaker 2>Money was no object, what would your stadium stage show

0:28:12.960 --> 0:28:13.359
<v Speaker 2>look like?

0:28:16.960 --> 0:28:21.639
<v Speaker 3>Just huge and constantly interesting and something new happening a

0:28:21.640 --> 0:28:23.480
<v Speaker 3>lot is it's more about that, Like I think you

0:28:23.480 --> 0:28:27.120
<v Speaker 3>can get like a backdrop that's like wow, but it's

0:28:27.160 --> 0:28:28.919
<v Speaker 3>the moving keeping it going.

0:28:29.119 --> 0:28:31.040
<v Speaker 2>And would you come out on one of those rises

0:28:31.080 --> 0:28:33.080
<v Speaker 2>in the middle of the stadium, in the middle of

0:28:33.080 --> 0:28:33.480
<v Speaker 2>the crowd.

0:28:33.800 --> 0:28:38.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm more interested in flying in. I would like that.

0:28:38.560 --> 0:28:41.560
<v Speaker 3>I love all that daft stuff and the gig's boring,

0:28:41.760 --> 0:28:45.840
<v Speaker 3>is my point. Like, so, I mean I've played enough

0:28:45.880 --> 0:28:48.440
<v Speaker 3>of it and I've been bored. So I don't know

0:28:48.560 --> 0:28:52.520
<v Speaker 3>about you guys, but so even in my little low

0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:55.239
<v Speaker 3>budget world I'm in trying to make that happen. Now,

0:28:55.280 --> 0:29:00.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, just keep it moving and interesting, even if

0:29:00.320 --> 0:29:04.200
<v Speaker 3>that's like my live show properly puts people off and

0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:08.360
<v Speaker 3>some people don't want that, but I'm just pleasing myself now.

0:29:08.440 --> 0:29:11.560
<v Speaker 2>It's it sounds quite liberating any more fulfilling.

0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:15.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's great and I want to like put an

0:29:15.080 --> 0:29:17.560
<v Speaker 3>up really like you can. My point is always, like

0:29:17.600 --> 0:29:21.320
<v Speaker 3>I live like a I'm like Henry the Eighth, right,

0:29:21.920 --> 0:29:23.840
<v Speaker 3>I just like eat a lot what I want and

0:29:23.880 --> 0:29:25.920
<v Speaker 3>like I do what I want, kids who I want,

0:29:25.960 --> 0:29:29.760
<v Speaker 3>and I just I want the live show to feel

0:29:29.760 --> 0:29:32.240
<v Speaker 3>like that. There's like no reason not to do everything

0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:34.360
<v Speaker 3>you want until I don't know, you have kids and

0:29:34.400 --> 0:29:37.040
<v Speaker 3>you're married or you've got responsibilities.

0:29:38.200 --> 0:29:41.280
<v Speaker 2>So compliments please with the debut album. Just tell me

0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:43.000
<v Speaker 2>a little bit about the sort of beginnings of that.

0:29:43.040 --> 0:29:44.880
<v Speaker 2>You were living in London and then you moved to

0:29:44.960 --> 0:29:48.160
<v Speaker 2>Margate and to start working on that material or what

0:29:48.240 --> 0:29:50.360
<v Speaker 2>was the experience of living in Margate, Like.

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:56.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, I it was great. It was I just had

0:29:56.920 --> 0:30:01.040
<v Speaker 1>to leave for the sake of my heart blood pressure.

0:30:01.080 --> 0:30:01.320
<v Speaker 3>I think.

0:30:01.360 --> 0:30:04.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I was too exciting.

0:30:04.880 --> 0:30:08.600
<v Speaker 1>No, I don't know why I did it. I went.

0:30:09.520 --> 0:30:12.400
<v Speaker 3>I'd always been in London because Charles's wife is in London,

0:30:12.480 --> 0:30:15.400
<v Speaker 3>so he'd always sort of lived there, and I'd been

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:17.320
<v Speaker 3>like flat to flat to flat, trying to sort of

0:30:17.320 --> 0:30:22.200
<v Speaker 3>survive financially. So every time we went on tour for

0:30:22.240 --> 0:30:24.720
<v Speaker 3>a while or like the money was like petering out.

0:30:24.640 --> 0:30:27.320
<v Speaker 1>I'd have to move back to my parents.

0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:30.920
<v Speaker 3>I was like that was sort of looking likely again,

0:30:30.960 --> 0:30:32.640
<v Speaker 3>and for a long time, there's no need for me

0:30:32.680 --> 0:30:34.880
<v Speaker 3>to be in London. So I got a really like

0:30:35.320 --> 0:30:39.240
<v Speaker 3>annoyed relationship with it, and I'd gone back up north

0:30:39.960 --> 0:30:43.200
<v Speaker 3>and then got like a tax rebate, and it was

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:44.680
<v Speaker 3>a sort of situation where I was like, oh, good

0:30:44.680 --> 0:30:47.920
<v Speaker 3>bye this flat in Margate when everyone's doing it, and

0:30:47.960 --> 0:30:49.760
<v Speaker 3>my manager at the time was there and he'd bought

0:30:49.800 --> 0:30:52.200
<v Speaker 3>like quite a few properties and it was all cool

0:30:52.240 --> 0:30:55.440
<v Speaker 3>and up and coming, and I thought I'd be a painter,

0:30:56.880 --> 0:30:58.160
<v Speaker 3>so I just did that. I was like a sort

0:30:58.200 --> 0:31:01.400
<v Speaker 3>of midlife crisis sort of move. And it was great

0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:04.280
<v Speaker 3>and it's beautiful, but it's just a bit too soon

0:31:04.360 --> 0:31:06.400
<v Speaker 3>for me to be there, I think so. But what

0:31:06.440 --> 0:31:08.840
<v Speaker 3>it did do is afford me the It was a

0:31:08.960 --> 0:31:10.680
<v Speaker 3>huge risk sort of saying I'm not going to do

0:31:10.680 --> 0:31:11.800
<v Speaker 3>any most local gigs.

0:31:12.160 --> 0:31:12.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do this.

0:31:13.520 --> 0:31:18.120
<v Speaker 3>It took ages, and I like ruined my new manager's life.

0:31:18.280 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 3>I've been like, when like, can we put this out?

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:23.040
<v Speaker 1>Can we do this? It's like no, you have to

0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:25.720
<v Speaker 1>build it. And took ages.

0:31:25.760 --> 0:31:27.880
<v Speaker 3>So I get a record deal and didn't know if

0:31:27.880 --> 0:31:30.560
<v Speaker 3>that would happen, and so I was just going completely

0:31:30.600 --> 0:31:33.920
<v Speaker 3>coco and local in Margate, which is not the place

0:31:33.960 --> 0:31:37.440
<v Speaker 3>to feel like that because there's too many like dafh

0:31:37.520 --> 0:31:40.640
<v Speaker 3>things you can do there. So it's just a sort

0:31:40.640 --> 0:31:43.160
<v Speaker 3>of odd time. But thank god, it all sort of

0:31:43.160 --> 0:31:46.920
<v Speaker 3>came together. It made sense because we had started working

0:31:46.920 --> 0:31:50.000
<v Speaker 3>with a producer there and it turned out like he

0:31:50.080 --> 0:31:52.080
<v Speaker 3>was the one that I wanted to make their record with.

0:31:52.960 --> 0:31:55.840
<v Speaker 3>So it all just came together and so as soon

0:31:55.880 --> 0:31:57.800
<v Speaker 3>as it could be a place to really work.

0:31:57.600 --> 0:31:59.200
<v Speaker 1>From, it was a good good place to be.

0:31:59.320 --> 0:32:01.720
<v Speaker 3>But I mean back up quickly because we were doing

0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:04.880
<v Speaker 3>loads of press and stuff, and now I'm back into

0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:07.479
<v Speaker 3>the London life and it's the first time I lived

0:32:07.520 --> 0:32:10.560
<v Speaker 3>in London, and it's for me, like and it serves me.

0:32:10.960 --> 0:32:13.760
<v Speaker 3>And therefore I'm not angry about how much it costs

0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:15.960
<v Speaker 3>because I'm like, this is great. Every day I'm busy

0:32:16.040 --> 0:32:18.560
<v Speaker 3>doing exciting stuff and the album's cool.

0:32:18.600 --> 0:32:22.440
<v Speaker 2>Compliments please, did you feel like have people got it

0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 2>and people understood it in the way you wanted.

0:32:26.280 --> 0:32:28.560
<v Speaker 1>The album or the title or both?

0:32:28.560 --> 0:32:31.960
<v Speaker 2>I suppose start with the title. Has anybody giving you

0:32:32.000 --> 0:32:34.920
<v Speaker 2>any nice compliments about compliments? Please? Of course they have

0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:36.600
<v Speaker 2>the best ones.

0:32:37.600 --> 0:32:38.880
<v Speaker 1>No, I can't.

0:32:39.760 --> 0:32:41.920
<v Speaker 3>I thought it was really funny to call it that,

0:32:43.680 --> 0:32:47.600
<v Speaker 3>and I think hopefully if you know, you know kind

0:32:47.600 --> 0:32:49.240
<v Speaker 3>of thing that's like, you're the same with loads of

0:32:49.280 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 3>my things I think are funny, Like if you don't

0:32:51.680 --> 0:32:56.160
<v Speaker 3>get it, it's harmless, but if you do, it's like.

0:32:54.720 --> 0:32:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Like, that's funny. Yeah, we had no idea what would happen.

0:33:00.400 --> 0:33:00.760
<v Speaker 1>I knew.

0:33:00.760 --> 0:33:02.920
<v Speaker 3>I was really proud of it, and I loved it,

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:05.960
<v Speaker 3>and I loved how sort of long. It was an

0:33:05.960 --> 0:33:08.840
<v Speaker 3>epic and it flowed and I got all the different

0:33:09.040 --> 0:33:13.280
<v Speaker 3>bits of the spoken words stuff, and aesthetically it was

0:33:13.280 --> 0:33:15.200
<v Speaker 3>all coming together, and so I was just like I

0:33:15.320 --> 0:33:17.640
<v Speaker 3>just for the first time in my life maybe was

0:33:17.920 --> 0:33:20.000
<v Speaker 3>going to bed going like I know I've done enough,

0:33:20.080 --> 0:33:22.000
<v Speaker 3>and there's like no stone left on turned with this

0:33:22.160 --> 0:33:24.920
<v Speaker 3>for me. So if you hate it, I don't think

0:33:24.920 --> 0:33:27.480
<v Speaker 3>that will hurt in the same way as like it's

0:33:27.480 --> 0:33:29.520
<v Speaker 3>localub albums, because it was a collaboration.

0:33:29.960 --> 0:33:31.680
<v Speaker 1>Really proud of them all and I love them all, but.

0:33:33.120 --> 0:33:35.320
<v Speaker 3>There's things on it that were compromises that I wouldn't

0:33:35.320 --> 0:33:38.040
<v Speaker 3>have ideally had on it, and that is sort of

0:33:38.080 --> 0:33:39.640
<v Speaker 3>opens up a weird little cavern in you.

0:33:41.160 --> 0:33:44.400
<v Speaker 1>Where the bad stuff can get in. I was like

0:33:44.960 --> 0:33:46.520
<v Speaker 1>I felt a bit bulletproof of it.

0:33:47.080 --> 0:33:49.800
<v Speaker 3>So the fact that people really liked it, I was

0:33:49.840 --> 0:33:56.400
<v Speaker 3>like half really relieved and half like, yeah, ORMs, which

0:33:56.400 --> 0:33:57.840
<v Speaker 3>is bad, but I don't care.

0:33:58.120 --> 0:34:02.520
<v Speaker 2>And it's brought along some great opportunities obviously Sunday brunch.

0:34:03.040 --> 0:34:05.000
<v Speaker 1>Big brunch opportunity coming up, Yes.

0:34:05.120 --> 0:34:07.920
<v Speaker 2>Brunch opportunity. Other things that are coming up this year.

0:34:08.200 --> 0:34:11.640
<v Speaker 2>You already mentioned Glastonbury. You're looking forward to that.

0:34:12.160 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm doing four sets at it because I've got

0:34:16.000 --> 0:34:19.840
<v Speaker 3>a camp okay, and I just thought it's best for

0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:23.000
<v Speaker 3>if the more gigs are play the less like totally

0:34:23.160 --> 0:34:24.040
<v Speaker 3>totally wasted.

0:34:24.080 --> 0:34:27.920
<v Speaker 2>I'll get so if you've done the sort of full

0:34:28.520 --> 0:34:30.279
<v Speaker 2>because Glastonbury is one of those ones where you just

0:34:30.320 --> 0:34:33.280
<v Speaker 2>got to embrace it and sort of do the Glastonberer experience.

0:34:33.360 --> 0:34:35.600
<v Speaker 1>Right, Yeah, well I've never I've only been once.

0:34:36.120 --> 0:34:39.520
<v Speaker 3>I sang in the moon Landings band and so they

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:43.000
<v Speaker 3>did parks, they did Twelve Midday and my only memory

0:34:43.000 --> 0:34:45.600
<v Speaker 3>is a pint of red wine before I went on.

0:34:46.480 --> 0:34:48.520
<v Speaker 3>So that wasn't a nice experience it turned out.

0:34:50.080 --> 0:34:52.680
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, I'm gonna have fun. And then it's same again,

0:34:52.840 --> 0:34:54.040
<v Speaker 1>like it's.

0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:56.440
<v Speaker 3>Going with like five of my besties now, so it's

0:34:57.120 --> 0:34:58.960
<v Speaker 3>everything's a different experience because if I'm.

0:34:58.800 --> 0:35:01.919
<v Speaker 1>Not lonely, I'm like, it's it's a fun vibe. So

0:35:02.000 --> 0:35:03.759
<v Speaker 1>far asked me this in a year and I'll be like.

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:09.440
<v Speaker 3>I hate this, but I'm doing loads of festivals and

0:35:09.480 --> 0:35:13.759
<v Speaker 3>this is another cool thing. Every year it would be like,

0:35:13.880 --> 0:35:16.279
<v Speaker 3>how are we getting any festival slots? And we'd get

0:35:16.280 --> 0:35:18.279
<v Speaker 3>a few, we'd get a handful every year, but they'd

0:35:18.280 --> 0:35:19.440
<v Speaker 3>be like, you just release the.

0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:20.760
<v Speaker 1>Album at the wrong time. I'm sorry.

0:35:20.920 --> 0:35:22.920
<v Speaker 3>I'd be like, I don't know what that means and

0:35:23.719 --> 0:35:27.759
<v Speaker 3>the fat I'm dead busy and I releasing the album

0:35:27.840 --> 0:35:30.239
<v Speaker 3>in March is a bad time for festivals. But I'm like,

0:35:30.800 --> 0:35:34.439
<v Speaker 3>I always knew that was bullshit, So I'm really proud

0:35:34.520 --> 0:35:36.320
<v Speaker 3>that I've got a very got loads.

0:35:36.360 --> 0:35:37.120
<v Speaker 1>I've got loads on.

0:35:37.239 --> 0:35:40.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, excellent. You do some shows with Florence the Machine.

0:35:40.560 --> 0:35:40.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Is that Florence's a fan of yours? Presly?

0:35:44.560 --> 0:35:45.120
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah it was.

0:35:45.200 --> 0:35:48.600
<v Speaker 3>It was really cool thing happened where she put my

0:35:48.680 --> 0:35:50.960
<v Speaker 3>album on our Instagram story and I got like twenty

0:35:51.000 --> 0:35:54.440
<v Speaker 3>text messages off people and we just did DM doing

0:35:54.520 --> 0:35:56.480
<v Speaker 3>something that's really kind of thank you. It's funny though,

0:35:56.480 --> 0:35:59.880
<v Speaker 3>because I was on the radio one thing and Jackson

0:36:00.320 --> 0:36:03.040
<v Speaker 3>was like, this must be a dream come true, and

0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:05.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I think I'm older than that, and it

0:36:06.040 --> 0:36:07.640
<v Speaker 3>was like she must be a big inspiration. It was

0:36:07.719 --> 0:36:09.680
<v Speaker 3>like I was doing it like seven years before she

0:36:09.719 --> 0:36:13.200
<v Speaker 3>had her single. I was like, it's not like it's

0:36:13.239 --> 0:36:17.640
<v Speaker 3>great and I'm so excited and I'm so like in

0:36:17.680 --> 0:36:20.120
<v Speaker 3>awe of her success and not everything she's made, But

0:36:21.160 --> 0:36:24.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm not, like, I don't know how to say this.

0:36:24.719 --> 0:36:25.520
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what I'm saying?

0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:29.760
<v Speaker 3>The opportunity it's not that it's like, oh my god, wow,

0:36:29.960 --> 0:36:33.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm like this, but it does feel brilliant. I don't

0:36:33.560 --> 0:36:36.240
<v Speaker 3>think i'd be excited bout anything apart from Peter Gabriel,

0:36:37.080 --> 0:36:39.359
<v Speaker 3>but no, I'm really in and I'm so excited. It's

0:36:39.360 --> 0:36:42.600
<v Speaker 3>so kind of and she's been so like she tweeted

0:36:42.600 --> 0:36:44.919
<v Speaker 3>the album link. I'm like, that is like, we can't

0:36:44.920 --> 0:36:47.160
<v Speaker 3>pay for that. You're kind of like press thank you,

0:36:47.280 --> 0:36:49.440
<v Speaker 3>Like this is huge, and I don't understand people being

0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:50.719
<v Speaker 3>that kind to me and lessening when I have sex

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:54.680
<v Speaker 3>with me. So it's all been like quite lovely unless

0:36:54.680 --> 0:36:56.480
<v Speaker 3>she wants to have sex with me, which is also fine.

0:36:56.520 --> 0:37:02.880
<v Speaker 3>But I'm really excited, going fluzzled off when any Florence

0:37:04.160 --> 0:37:07.279
<v Speaker 3>news comes in. But I'm excited to play to like

0:37:07.320 --> 0:37:11.080
<v Speaker 3>a massive crowd of people that like females strong pop music.

0:37:11.480 --> 0:37:12.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel like it might go down.

0:37:12.680 --> 0:37:15.960
<v Speaker 2>Well yeah, going back to that point of being like

0:37:16.000 --> 0:37:19.120
<v Speaker 2>welcoming any new opportunity, like it's gonna be a big stage,

0:37:19.120 --> 0:37:23.160
<v Speaker 2>it's going to be thirty thou people, it's gonna be good.

0:37:23.320 --> 0:37:25.640
<v Speaker 3>Slow Club did a month and Sun's toler in America,

0:37:25.840 --> 0:37:28.760
<v Speaker 3>which still is one of my favorite. Well, same again,

0:37:29.320 --> 0:37:33.640
<v Speaker 3>We're like, but then by the end of every gig,

0:37:33.680 --> 0:37:37.040
<v Speaker 3>I'd be like, ah, will will like having the time

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:38.040
<v Speaker 3>of my life because I was like.

0:37:38.040 --> 0:37:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I love popular stuff, it's brilliant.

0:37:42.160 --> 0:37:45.560
<v Speaker 2>So I'm hoping, you know, do some stuff with self

0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:46.400
<v Speaker 2>esteem in America.

0:37:47.040 --> 0:37:49.920
<v Speaker 3>Well, I hope, sir, I've been I asked you that.

0:37:50.000 --> 0:37:53.160
<v Speaker 3>My manager swiftly not that question this morning on the train.

0:37:53.920 --> 0:37:56.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to get it to come out there. We

0:37:56.040 --> 0:38:01.360
<v Speaker 3>were told that single solo females don't work, So females

0:38:01.400 --> 0:38:02.680
<v Speaker 3>don't work in America at the moment.

0:38:02.719 --> 0:38:03.960
<v Speaker 2>A parently that's not true, is it.

0:38:04.320 --> 0:38:11.800
<v Speaker 3>I mean, look at Aura, she goes to the met.

0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:13.040
<v Speaker 2>You need to just prove there's another like hypothesis music industry,

0:38:13.120 --> 0:38:15.239
<v Speaker 2>like if you need to just bust I hope.

0:38:15.280 --> 0:38:16.080
<v Speaker 1>So I'd love to.

0:38:16.200 --> 0:38:18.279
<v Speaker 3>But also, Sow Club went a lot, and we did

0:38:18.320 --> 0:38:23.759
<v Speaker 3>all those mad huge tours, ten hour drives to not

0:38:23.800 --> 0:38:25.560
<v Speaker 3>even a gig two a days in and then ten

0:38:25.600 --> 0:38:27.799
<v Speaker 3>more hours to the next king. And I did that

0:38:27.840 --> 0:38:32.000
<v Speaker 3>real like punk like back of the Van American tour

0:38:32.080 --> 0:38:32.920
<v Speaker 3>quite a few times.

0:38:32.920 --> 0:38:33.960
<v Speaker 1>So I'm not.

0:38:34.040 --> 0:38:36.759
<v Speaker 3>Desperate to do that. I would love to go and

0:38:36.800 --> 0:38:42.640
<v Speaker 3>play and see what happens and eat the food out there,

0:38:43.800 --> 0:38:47.640
<v Speaker 3>really nice food everywhere, even though like Tgo Fridays is nice,

0:38:47.880 --> 0:38:50.360
<v Speaker 3>you know what their crap restaurants is like deliced. But

0:38:50.400 --> 0:38:52.000
<v Speaker 3>that's not the point. I would like the album to

0:38:52.000 --> 0:38:53.240
<v Speaker 3>come out there, if anyone's listening.

0:38:53.760 --> 0:38:55.799
<v Speaker 2>When you hear that stuff, though, when somebody comes back

0:38:55.800 --> 0:38:58.239
<v Speaker 2>to you and says, oh, female Solar artists don't work

0:38:58.880 --> 0:39:03.520
<v Speaker 2>here at the moment, do you obviously that's completely rubbish,

0:39:03.960 --> 0:39:05.680
<v Speaker 2>Like does it does it make you angry? Do you

0:39:05.719 --> 0:39:07.400
<v Speaker 2>just kind of like have you heard that so many

0:39:07.440 --> 0:39:09.160
<v Speaker 2>times you just kind of like, ah, oh well, or

0:39:09.200 --> 0:39:10.560
<v Speaker 2>like just how does that make you feel?

0:39:11.000 --> 0:39:13.520
<v Speaker 3>It just feels stupid and a lot sort of laughable,

0:39:13.600 --> 0:39:15.640
<v Speaker 3>And I like telling people that that's what I've been

0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:18.560
<v Speaker 3>told and it just spares me on a bit to

0:39:18.680 --> 0:39:21.920
<v Speaker 3>be But then I do have this like real fear

0:39:22.040 --> 0:39:27.000
<v Speaker 3>that there's how do I say it, Like, no matter

0:39:27.000 --> 0:39:30.320
<v Speaker 3>how much like I can defy like what people expect

0:39:30.320 --> 0:39:33.920
<v Speaker 3>of me or what people expect women, there is still

0:39:33.960 --> 0:39:39.040
<v Speaker 3>this like impenetrable like white men at the top of

0:39:39.040 --> 0:39:43.600
<v Speaker 3>the desk thing. But I'm worried I'll not live to

0:39:43.600 --> 0:39:46.959
<v Speaker 3>see the end of But I mean, maybe I'm getting

0:39:46.960 --> 0:39:49.080
<v Speaker 3>too deep about it, but I could definitely play, you know,

0:39:49.239 --> 0:39:50.439
<v Speaker 3>a small gig in New York.

0:39:50.480 --> 0:39:50.759
<v Speaker 1>Come on.

0:39:51.680 --> 0:39:54.839
<v Speaker 3>It's like, also, I don't know, I have to let

0:39:54.880 --> 0:39:56.759
<v Speaker 3>go of a lot of that because it makes me

0:39:56.800 --> 0:40:01.000
<v Speaker 3>too angry, and the idea of success is I've got

0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:02.600
<v Speaker 3>to let go of that as well. It's just more

0:40:02.600 --> 0:40:04.000
<v Speaker 3>like I have to bring it back to me and

0:40:04.040 --> 0:40:07.680
<v Speaker 3>what am I enjoying and to people like what I'm

0:40:07.800 --> 0:40:09.680
<v Speaker 3>doing enough for me to be able to do it.

0:40:09.760 --> 0:40:10.959
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so we'll go from there.

0:40:11.040 --> 0:40:13.960
<v Speaker 3>But I go through phases of like I'm going to

0:40:14.040 --> 0:40:17.279
<v Speaker 3>smash this down and change this, and then I go, nah,

0:40:17.440 --> 0:40:17.960
<v Speaker 3>no mind.

0:40:20.320 --> 0:40:21.960
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like we talked a little bit about just

0:40:22.000 --> 0:40:25.399
<v Speaker 2>like how it's been a change of sort of pace,

0:40:25.520 --> 0:40:28.319
<v Speaker 2>change of experience doing self esteem compared to what you've

0:40:28.320 --> 0:40:31.720
<v Speaker 2>done in the past already as this to a certain extent,

0:40:31.800 --> 0:40:35.239
<v Speaker 2>but the idea that you're happy you're doing it like

0:40:35.280 --> 0:40:37.279
<v Speaker 2>it feels, you know, has it just been something that's

0:40:37.480 --> 0:40:40.279
<v Speaker 2>been more satisfying to like take this bath, And as

0:40:40.320 --> 0:40:43.279
<v Speaker 2>you said before, it maybe it did feel like a risk.

0:40:43.280 --> 0:40:45.279
<v Speaker 2>And there was a certain amount of anxiety that goes

0:40:45.280 --> 0:40:48.279
<v Speaker 2>along with presenting yourself as a solo artist, as a

0:40:48.280 --> 0:40:50.520
<v Speaker 2>whole new thing. You probably did concern You're not worried

0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:52.120
<v Speaker 2>you before we did it? Are you at the happiest

0:40:52.120 --> 0:40:55.320
<v Speaker 2>place now knowing like I did it? It's been successful,

0:40:55.560 --> 0:40:56.800
<v Speaker 2>We're doing all these new things.

0:40:57.520 --> 0:41:00.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think it's It's truly changed my life, just

0:41:00.520 --> 0:41:04.640
<v Speaker 3>being able to prove that I could, like I'm good

0:41:04.760 --> 0:41:08.120
<v Speaker 3>enough from my ideas are good enough alone, And like

0:41:08.640 --> 0:41:11.960
<v Speaker 3>there was a ton of like personal mental health shit

0:41:12.360 --> 0:41:15.400
<v Speaker 3>that I'm like so much of that I think was

0:41:15.440 --> 0:41:20.680
<v Speaker 3>because it I didn't realize how unhealthy not expressing myself

0:41:21.120 --> 0:41:25.080
<v Speaker 3>truly was for me. So even like it started because

0:41:25.080 --> 0:41:28.000
<v Speaker 3>I did. I had an Instagram account that I would

0:41:28.719 --> 0:41:31.160
<v Speaker 3>I called self esteem, and I was putting just lyrics,

0:41:31.200 --> 0:41:33.719
<v Speaker 3>like just sentences on and I remember that even being

0:41:33.800 --> 0:41:38.759
<v Speaker 3>like such a relief and it's nobody's fault, Like I'm

0:41:38.800 --> 0:41:43.200
<v Speaker 3>not blaming the band or the label or management or anything,

0:41:43.239 --> 0:41:46.800
<v Speaker 3>but like it was just all I just didn't notice

0:41:47.080 --> 0:41:49.680
<v Speaker 3>that there could be something else for me, or it

0:41:49.719 --> 0:41:52.239
<v Speaker 3>didn't feel like I could ever do it. I think

0:41:52.280 --> 0:41:53.759
<v Speaker 3>I got to a point was like I've got to

0:41:53.800 --> 0:41:56.439
<v Speaker 3>at least try, because I can't cope if I don't

0:41:56.520 --> 0:41:59.280
<v Speaker 3>kind of thing, and I'm a real glass half empty

0:41:59.480 --> 0:42:03.239
<v Speaker 3>person and was like, no one will like it and

0:42:03.280 --> 0:42:06.600
<v Speaker 3>no one will care, and the main thing was everyone's

0:42:06.600 --> 0:42:07.600
<v Speaker 3>going to laugh at me loads.

0:42:08.520 --> 0:42:10.480
<v Speaker 1>But I don't know how I did it. I think

0:42:10.480 --> 0:42:13.560
<v Speaker 1>I just persevered.

0:42:13.600 --> 0:42:17.719
<v Speaker 3>And RuPaul's drag Race, like, honestly, watching that made me

0:42:17.800 --> 0:42:20.359
<v Speaker 3>go like, this is Almos just so daft and all

0:42:20.400 --> 0:42:23.239
<v Speaker 3>these people just work so hard and there's no right

0:42:23.320 --> 0:42:25.880
<v Speaker 3>or wrong with with a lot of it, and that

0:42:25.960 --> 0:42:28.759
<v Speaker 3>really helped. I was just like I realized I was

0:42:28.760 --> 0:42:31.319
<v Speaker 3>living my life worrying about what it was like this

0:42:31.440 --> 0:42:35.279
<v Speaker 3>metaphorical table and the people sat around that table. I

0:42:35.360 --> 0:42:37.480
<v Speaker 3>was so worried what they'd think about what and how

0:42:37.560 --> 0:42:39.799
<v Speaker 3>I knew what they'd say about me and how they'd

0:42:39.800 --> 0:42:41.600
<v Speaker 3>slag it off and how they critique it. And I

0:42:42.680 --> 0:42:45.880
<v Speaker 3>just thought like, what what if that table wasn't in

0:42:45.920 --> 0:42:49.080
<v Speaker 3>the restaurant? I really like I had to visualize it

0:42:49.120 --> 0:42:51.480
<v Speaker 3>like that and go, well, I only realized how far

0:42:51.560 --> 0:42:55.120
<v Speaker 3>I've come when I like, if a friend says something like,

0:42:55.120 --> 0:42:56.640
<v Speaker 3>oh I can't do that because it looks like this,

0:42:56.680 --> 0:42:58.680
<v Speaker 3>and I'm like, that wouldn't occur to me anymore.

0:42:58.840 --> 0:43:03.040
<v Speaker 1>And that's years of trying, really hard to let go

0:43:03.200 --> 0:43:04.840
<v Speaker 1>of that chronic.

0:43:04.560 --> 0:43:08.120
<v Speaker 3>Embarrassment of myself, and there's still plenty of it, so

0:43:08.320 --> 0:43:09.200
<v Speaker 3>don't worry.

0:43:09.480 --> 0:43:12.880
<v Speaker 1>But it's a happy place. And then and the thing about.

0:43:12.640 --> 0:43:15.800
<v Speaker 3>The show and being able to know, like like tonight,

0:43:15.840 --> 0:43:18.040
<v Speaker 3>I'll come off stage and I'll have broke us wet

0:43:18.040 --> 0:43:20.560
<v Speaker 3>and I'll feel like I performed and I will be

0:43:20.640 --> 0:43:23.000
<v Speaker 3>in the moment, and then really cool things happen where

0:43:23.000 --> 0:43:24.799
<v Speaker 3>I just want, I do, really want to just go

0:43:24.920 --> 0:43:27.480
<v Speaker 3>home after gigs now, Whereas before I'd be like, let's

0:43:27.480 --> 0:43:31.000
<v Speaker 3>get as drunk as possible because I need and socialized,

0:43:31.040 --> 0:43:34.600
<v Speaker 3>desperately socializing after gigs because I don't think I felt

0:43:34.600 --> 0:43:36.879
<v Speaker 3>represented on the stage. And now I'm like, I've done

0:43:37.000 --> 0:43:39.600
<v Speaker 3>You've seen me, I've done it. I can go home now.

0:43:39.760 --> 0:43:43.160
<v Speaker 3>I've not got so much limo literally, well.

0:43:43.000 --> 0:43:45.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, straight out.

0:43:46.840 --> 0:43:50.120
<v Speaker 3>I really wanted a limo the album release day and

0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:52.399
<v Speaker 3>I really wanted to and we did talk about it,

0:43:52.640 --> 0:43:55.440
<v Speaker 3>but it didn't end up happening.

0:43:55.560 --> 0:43:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Should arrive tonight, since we're buy the seaside, you should

0:43:58.040 --> 0:44:02.480
<v Speaker 2>arrive by a speedboat. Yes, you do that once.

0:44:03.880 --> 0:44:06.880
<v Speaker 3>That's the thing you can do that. It's my Henry

0:44:06.960 --> 0:44:11.239
<v Speaker 3>the Eighth theory. It's like, within reason, you can just

0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:13.719
<v Speaker 3>do anything you want. And in the day I could

0:44:13.760 --> 0:44:17.440
<v Speaker 3>save up for a Limo. After tonight, I'm not going

0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:20.080
<v Speaker 3>to do there. We'll save it for I'm doing Brixton

0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:24.360
<v Speaker 3>Electric in October, so that's a Limo one in it.

0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:37.480
<v Speaker 2>Midnight Chats is a Loud and Quiet podcast. Music courtesy

0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:41.000
<v Speaker 2>of gold Panda. Search Midnight Chats on iTunes for more

0:44:41.040 --> 0:44:44.680
<v Speaker 2>episodes and to subscribe. For more information, visit Loud and

0:44:44.800 --> 0:44:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Quiet dot com.