1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Hey, Disgrace Sland listeners, if you're listening to me, then 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: you are in for a treat. Right here, right now, 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: we are presenting to you our Robin Williams episode of 4 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: the hollywood Land podcast. Hollywoodland is, of course our podcast 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: from the corner of Hollywood and true crime, much like Disgraceland, yes, 6 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: but different from Disgraceland. Hollywoodland features actors and actresses and directors, 7 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: and Disgrace Sland features of course musicians and most important, 8 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: hollywood Land is only available in the hollywood Land podcast feed, 9 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: with the exception of this episode right here on Robin Williams. 10 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: So if you want to hear more stories from Hollywood, 11 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: you have to follow, subscribe for free and listen in 12 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: the hollywood Land feed in your Spotify app or Apple 13 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: Podcasts app or wherever you get your podcasts. Because after 14 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: this here Robin Williams episode, there will be no more 15 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: hollywood Land episodes in the Disgraceland feed. And we have 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: a ton of great stories on Hollywood legends, Marlon Brando, 17 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: Bruce Lee, Sharon Stone, Drew Barrymore, Jack Nicholson, the list 18 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: goes on and on and on, and all those episodes 19 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: like I said can be heard by searching hollywood Land 20 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: in your Spotify or Apple podcast apps or wherever you 21 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: get your podcasts, and following subscribing for free and listening along. 22 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,680 Speaker 1: So you know, go do that until then, here's a 23 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 1: taste of what you're missing with our Robin Williams episode 24 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: of hollywood Land. This episode contains content that may be 25 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: disturbing to some listeners. Please check the show notes for 26 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:36,479 Speaker 1: more information. Hollywood Land is a production of Double Elvis Oh. 27 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: The stories about Robin Williams are insane. His manic mind moved. 28 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: It's such a breakneck speed that cocaine had the opposite 29 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: effect that it had on most other people. It slowed 30 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 1: him down. Speaking of coke, he did a line with 31 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: John Belushi at the Fame Chateau Armau on the very 32 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: night Juliette Jake Blues died from shooting up a speedball. 33 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: Robin's primary addiction, however, wasn't cocaine. He was addicted to 34 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: the company of women. He was addicted to the dopamine 35 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: rush of being on a stage where he could let 36 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: his mind run wild with free association and be rewarded 37 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: with a broarious laughter. He was addicted to proving himself 38 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: as a dramatic actor, even if that meant attempting to 39 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: trigger his own mental breakdown by running in place for hours. 40 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: And when he did die tragically at the age of 41 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: sixty three, the cause of his death was surprisingly not 42 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: what anyone suspected. It still isn't. And Robin Williams made 43 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: great films, unlike that clip I played for you at 44 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: the top of the show. That wasn't a clip from 45 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 1: a great film. That was a fair use sample from 46 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 1: the Library of Common Congress of Arthur Collins performing Susie 47 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 1: Woozy in nineteen oh two. I played you that clip 48 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: because I can't afford the rights to a clip from 49 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: Jonathan Leevieman's teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. And why would I 50 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 1: play you that specific slice of Cowabunco reboot Cheese? Could 51 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,799 Speaker 1: I afford it? Because that was the number one movie 52 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 1: in America On August eleven, twenty fourteen, and that was 53 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: the day that Robin Williams's body was found at his 54 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: home in California, a shocking death that revealed hidden secrets 55 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: about his life. In this episode, a manic mind, cocaine 56 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 1: dopamine Russian's mental breakdowns and Robin Williams, I'm Jake Brennan 57 00:03:46,560 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: and this is Hollywood Landlord. Pam Dauber didn't have to 58 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: turn around to know who was thrusting something long and 59 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: hard against her ass. She knew her co star would 60 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,239 Speaker 1: be right behind her, dressed in his bright red leotar 61 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: to Caine in his hand. He always knew when she 62 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: was a little off and needed a perkma it worked. 63 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,919 Speaker 1: Pam couldn't help but laugh. This was a typical moment 64 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: on the set of Morcan Mindy. Robin Williams had shown 65 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: up late and bleary eyed as usual. Then they immediately 66 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: get to work without missing a beat, only ever interrupting 67 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: the rehearsal to pul some endearingly inappropriate prank, like pretending 68 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: to shove a cane up her ass. Pam had a 69 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: sisterly affection for the hairy goofball, so she didn't mind 70 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: they do what they always did, laugh, move on work 71 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: another scene. Then should go home for the night and 72 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,600 Speaker 1: get ready to do it all again the next day, 73 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: but not Robin. Once they finished shooting, Robin slipped back 74 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: into his trademark rainbow suspenders, strapped on a pair of 75 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: roller skates and cruised his way through the Paramount Studio 76 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: a lot with a dorky grin on his face. He 77 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: grabbed a ham sandwich as he skated past the Kraft 78 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: food cart, spinning his way around frantic production assistants and 79 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: set dressers carrying tables across the way to yet another 80 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: sound stage. Eventually he made his way to LA's Sunset Strip. 81 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: He did a line of cocaine in the parking lot 82 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: outside the comedy store, ordered a rum and coke at 83 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: the bar as he watched Richard Pryor or Jonathan Winters 84 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 1: or some no name prankster try to coax a chuckle 85 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: from the crowd. And then Robin Williams hopped on stage 86 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: and grabbed the mic himself. Most comedians had a tightly 87 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: scripted ten minute set, but Robin's style was always a 88 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: bit more freewheeling. You couldn't even tell the difference between 89 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 1: the jokes that he'd rehearsed and the ones he'd made 90 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: up on the spot. Do you think God gets stoned? 91 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: Just look at the platypus. As soon as he was done, 92 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: Robin was off to see his buddy Taylor mcgroan at 93 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: the Laugh factory, do another line, have another rum and coke, 94 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: maybe flirt with the waitress, and then get back on 95 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 1: the microphone. I fucked the prostitute when I turned twenty one. 96 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: I was so bad. She gave me a refund. Hew 97 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: the laugh track and the flood of endorphins. And that's 98 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: when Robin would see another old friend in the corner 99 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: of the bar. Maybe this time it would be Jim 100 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: Stall from Happy Days. The two of them would have 101 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: another drink, maybe a quick bump, okay, just one morning, 102 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 1: and find another girl to flirt with. Sometimes you get 103 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: to go out of your way to get into trouble. 104 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 1: It's called fun. And then it was off to the 105 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: next stop of the night. Maybe this time it would 106 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: be the Comedy Magic Club. And that was all the 107 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: way out in her Morosa Beach. But Robin's buddy was 108 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: dating this model who lived around the corner. Her place 109 00:06:56,279 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: was always packed with beautiful drugs and even more beautiful women. Besides, 110 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: the night was young and he didn't have to be 111 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: on set for another eight hours. And if he was 112 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: still awake when the sun came up again, well that's 113 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: why there was cocaine. The Devil's Standrift RuView, merchant powder, 114 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: God's way of telling you you're making too much money. 115 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: Ask anyone who knew Robin Williams, and they'd tell you 116 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: he was fast, not just on his roller skates or 117 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 1: the way he talked. His brain itself moved at breakneck speed. 118 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: It had nothing to do with the cocaine. Hell, most 119 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: folks said the drugs slowed him down more than anything. 120 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: What would have been operas for anyone else brought his 121 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: manic mind back down to the level that most people 122 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: called reality. Made it easier formed to relate to other 123 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: people and focus on the conversation at hand instead of 124 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: firing off another impulse in his supersonic synapses. Robin existed 125 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: on a totally different wavelength from the rest of the world. 126 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: It's what made him such a damn good performer, but 127 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: it also made him lonely. He was always out of sink, 128 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: functioning on a different frequency than everybody else. He'd been 129 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: that way since he was a kid. He was an 130 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: only child as far as he knew. His cold, alcoholic 131 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: father had a corporate job that met The family moved 132 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: around a lot, which made it harder for Robin to 133 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: form new friendships. His mom was a socialite who used 134 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: her wit to charm strangers and maybe to deflect from 135 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: her own loneliness. Humor was the fastest way to her affection, 136 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: and that left an impression on young Robin, who spent 137 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,199 Speaker 1: the rest of his childhood inside of his own head. 138 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: Making someone laugh was the only way he knew to 139 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: make a genuine human connection. And that's not to say 140 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: that Robin couldn't be serious. After all, he'd attended the 141 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,439 Speaker 1: prestigious Juilliard at School for acting, and although he did 142 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:51,199 Speaker 1: drop out once he realized that the school's traditional approach 143 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: couldn't do much for him. Later in life, Robin would 144 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:59,119 Speaker 1: be celebrated for his dramatic roles in films like Dead Poet, Society, 145 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: The Fisher King and Goodwill Hunting, but his comedy was 146 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: always a constant. More than women, and more than alcohol, 147 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: and even more than cocaine, Robin Williams was addicted to 148 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: the dopamine rush of being on stage, saying whatever came 149 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: into his mind and lighting the audience up in hysterics. 150 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: It was the closest he could come to that ineffable 151 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: something he was craving, but it still wasn't quite enough 152 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:28,719 Speaker 1: to save his frantic mind. Maybe that's why most of 153 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: Robin's friends were also comedians, Like Richard Pryor and John Belushi. 154 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: They understood the craving and the thrill, the transcendent energy 155 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: of feeding off the audience like a vampire. But Robin 156 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: also envied them as artists, the way they turned their 157 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 1: own vulnerabilities into weapons of hilarious delight. Robin always wanted 158 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,599 Speaker 1: to create that sort of confessional comedy, but he was 159 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: afraid of what he'd find when he'd mind the depths 160 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: of his own brain. During one of his many marathon 161 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: La comedy nights in the early eighties, Robin ended up 162 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 1: at John Belushi's bungalow with the Chateau armand with Sunset Boulevard. 163 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,599 Speaker 1: He got there at two am, just as Robert de 164 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: Niro was leaving. Belushi was pretty out of it. He 165 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: could barely form words. He strummed a boxing guitar, and 166 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: the sunken night hippie chick sitting next to him at 167 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: a creepy smile. She kept fiddling with a syringe. It 168 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: was a bad vibe. Robin stuck around long enough to 169 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,839 Speaker 1: do an obligatory line and then get the hell out 170 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: of there. In the next day, back on the set 171 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: of Morcamindy, he couldn't stop thinking about the night before. 172 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: Robin wasn't one to judge someone else's drug use, but 173 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: the scene at Belushi's had been too weird to ignore 174 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,719 Speaker 1: that girl that needle. When Pam Daubern asked if she 175 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 1: could talk to him during a break in that day shoot, 176 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 1: Robin could tell it was serious. Pam had been sent 177 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: by the show's producers to break the news John Belushi, 178 00:10:56,160 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: who was dead. Robin could easily guess why Pam was 179 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: sent to soften the blow. They didn't want Robin to 180 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: get too upset. They also knew that Robin had been 181 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: with Belushi during his final hours, and they needed to 182 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: cover their asses in case their star was an accessory 183 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 1: of manslaughter. Robin stood there, wide eyed, with his hands 184 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: folded at his waist while Pam talked. When he finally spoke, 185 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: Robin just kept repeating, I was there last night, I 186 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: was with him, I was there last night. I was 187 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,359 Speaker 1: with him. Pam tried to comfort her friend, but eventually 188 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: something inside of her snapped. She placed her hands on 189 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: Robin's shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. If 190 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: that ever happens to you, Pam said, I will find 191 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: you and kill you first. Robin smiled cautiously. He reassured 192 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,479 Speaker 1: Pam that it would never happen to him. Swear to God, 193 00:11:51,280 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: he hated lying to his friends. The Frog Prince was pissed. 194 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: You could see it in the deadness of his bulging 195 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: plastic eyes. Fuck ABC, Fuck every single one of those 196 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,959 Speaker 1: corporate shtheads and their stupid fucking suits. He ripped the 197 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: web fingers off his hands and began to pound the 198 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: green rubber head on his shoulders with his own fleshy fists. 199 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: They don't have any fucking taste, wouldn't know a good 200 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: joke if they got their fucking dick's wet. Fuck. It 201 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: was nineteen eighty two. Robin Williams was playing the title 202 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 1: role of the Frog Prince in the debut episode of 203 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: Fairytale Theater, a new anthology series for the cable network Showtime, 204 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: directed by Monty Python Sarah Idel. Robin didn't know what 205 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: was worse receiving the news that his sitcom, Morgan Mindy 206 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: had just been canceled, or the fact that he had 207 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 1: to process that news while being stuck inside of a stupid, fucking, 208 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: sweaty ass frog costume. You'd be hard pressed to find 209 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: anyone who described Robin Williams as short tempered or difficult, 210 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: but pressed a little harder and they'd admit that, yeah, 211 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 1: they'd seen him have a random meltdown here and there, 212 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 1: just maybe not while wearing a giant rubber frog suit. 213 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: At the time of the Frog Prince Fiasco, Robin was 214 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 1: struggling to break into movies. Morgan Mindy was a steady paycheck, 215 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 1: but Robin knew he was meant for something else. He 216 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: just didn't know what or how do make it happen. 217 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: His only other credit at that point was a low 218 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 1: budget musical version of Pop by the Sailor Man, and 219 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: even though our tour Robert Altman directed the picture in 220 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,559 Speaker 1: the legendary Harry Nilsen composed the music, the end result 221 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: was so embarrassingly bad that it became a running gag 222 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: and Robin's stand up blow me down, Are you fucking 223 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: kidding me? That line actually worked on a woman. His wife, Valerie, 224 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: had moved back up to Napa Valley in the meantime. 225 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: She wanted to avoid the la spotlight. She knew that 226 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: Robin liked the adoration, but it just wasn't her scene. 227 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: For a while, the two of them only saw each 228 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: other on the weekends they are in between projects. But 229 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 1: something changed that summer when Valerie told Robin she was pregnant. 230 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 1: Robin had been trying to take it easy on the 231 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: drugs after Beluci's death, and the sudden realization that he 232 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: was going to have a son made him finally get 233 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: serious about sobriety, and he quit boozing coke straight away. 234 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: No twelve steps or therapy or feel good programs, just 235 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: cold turkey. A few weeks later, his next movie, Outing 236 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: the World according to Garl, hit theaters, and the John 237 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: Irving book became an almost instant hit at the box office. 238 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 1: Things were finally looking up in more ways than one. 239 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: Later in life, in a letter to his son Zach, 240 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: Robin would write that his birth gave him a new 241 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 1: sense of meeting and focus into his life. It also 242 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: gave him plenty of new material. My god, it's a 243 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: boy and he's hung like a bear. Wait no, that's 244 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: the umbilical cord. Of course, there were some habits Robin 245 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: still couldn't break. One was his addiction to the rush 246 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: of stand up comedy and the high that he came 247 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: from the crowd. He'd find any excuse to leave Valerie 248 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 1: behind with the baby and Nappa, and had to la 249 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: to indulge in another one of those miss all night 250 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: comedy marathons. He even learned to enjoy them without the 251 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: help of mind altering substances, which brings us to the 252 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 1: other habit that Robin Williams couldn't break women. Robin had 253 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: always messed around in the past. Valerie would either give 254 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: him her blessing or at least forgive him. She knew 255 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: her husband was a star. She couldn't help the fact 256 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: that women threw themselves at him. Besides, he was out 257 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: on the road a lot all by himself. But after 258 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: Zach was born, it got harder for her to go 259 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 1: along with it. She resented the fact that she was 260 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: stuck at home with a baby while her husband was 261 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: off gallivanding with somehow young thing. And Robin wasn't dumb. 262 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: He knew it was getting to her. He tried to 263 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 1: keep it in his pants for a while, but then 264 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: another opportunity would present itself, and as Valerie once said, 265 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: you'd have to be a saint to resist and Robin 266 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: was certainly no saint. God gave me a penis in 267 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: a brain and only enough blood to use one at 268 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: a time. Robin met Michelle tash Carter at the Improv 269 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: in nineteen eighty four, where she was working as a 270 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: cocktail waitress. The twenty one year old had spent her 271 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: teenage years touring the country as a musician, and now 272 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,520 Speaker 1: she was looking for her big break in la Robin's 273 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 1: career wasn't quite in a spot where he could help 274 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: her out with that, but he could still take her 275 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: home again. This wasn't Robin's first affair, and again val 276 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: insisted she was fine with it at first. On the surface, anyway, 277 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: It's not like Robin had any investment in Michelle. They 278 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: had no emotional relationship. They were just fucking casually and regularly. 279 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: For about two years. Well, Robin and Valve drifted further 280 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 1: and further apart, and by the time Robin called things 281 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 1: off with Michelle, his marriage was already dead in the water. 282 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 1: And then Michelle told Robin she was also pregnant with 283 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,679 Speaker 1: his child and that he had given her herpes. A 284 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: woman would never make something as deadly as a nuke. 285 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 1: She'd invent something worse, like a bomb that makes you 286 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: feel really bad for a while. It turned out Michelle 287 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,360 Speaker 1: was not telling the truth, instead just trying to extort 288 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 1: Robin for his money. When he refused to give it 289 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,879 Speaker 1: to her lies, she sued him for six million dollars 290 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 1: for personal injury, fraud an intentional infliction of emotional distress. 291 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: At this point, Robin and Valerie were just starting their 292 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 1: formal divorce process. Michelle Carter wasn't the reason for the split, 293 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: but the added stress didn't make it any easier. Robin 294 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 1: was already ashamed that he had let his marriage fall apart, 295 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 1: and now he also lived in constant fear that Michelle's 296 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 1: baseless claims would create a pr nightmare that would skewer 297 00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 1: his career. The Loved Comedian settles herpes' lawsuit and forty 298 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,719 Speaker 1: eight point font on the front page. More than anything, 299 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: he was terrified of what it might do to three 300 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 1: year old Zach. Robin couldn't bear the thought of disappointing 301 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 1: his son, especially after the estrangement he had felt from 302 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: his own father, who Robin had just reconnected with after 303 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 1: learning that the elder Williams was dying of cancer. While 304 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,719 Speaker 1: all of this was happening, the divorce, the cancer, the affair, 305 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,919 Speaker 1: the lawsuit. Robin also began a new relationship with Marcia Grace, 306 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 1: who had been Zack's nanny and later Robin's personal assistant. 307 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 1: Things with Valerie were over and done before anything happened 308 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: with Marcia, but the press still spun it into a bigger, 309 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: uglier drama than it actually was. And of course this 310 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: all exploded publicly right as Robin's dramatic acting career was 311 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 1: finally taking off. It was like the ups and downs 312 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: he'd experienced in the eighties had also helped him tap 313 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 1: into the darkness he'd been carrying around for his entire life. 314 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: Nowhere was this more apparent than on this set of 315 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: The Fisher King, the nineteen ninety one film directed by 316 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: Terry Gilliam, another former Monty Python member. Robin was cast 317 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: in the role of Perry, a man dealing with homelessness 318 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: and severe mental illness who thinks he's on a quest 319 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,919 Speaker 1: to find the Holy Grail. Robin beat himself up on 320 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: set most days, either because he was worried about disappointing 321 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: fans who liked him for his comedy, or because he 322 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: didn't think that he was going dark enough. One day, 323 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 1: he was filming a scene on a treadmill, running in 324 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,400 Speaker 1: place so that Gilliam could get some close ups during 325 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: what became a terrifying hallucination sequence. It was late at night, 326 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: but Robin kept running. He'd scream in agony, gripping at 327 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 1: his heart with sweat pouring down his face as he 328 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: tried to trigger his own breakdown. Gilliam said he'd got 329 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: the shot he needed. Robin flipped, no, it's not real yet. 330 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: He was heaving short of death, feet still pounding on 331 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: the mat as he screamed, I can go deeper, I 332 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: can feel more, show more. Gilliam reminded Robin that it's acting. 333 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 1: It's not supposed to be real. He encouraged him to 334 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: save his energy, but Robin wouldn't listen. He yelled at 335 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,479 Speaker 1: the crew for rushing him through the scene, even though 336 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: he'd already been running in place for hours. These outbursts 337 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: became more common as they kept filming. There were some 338 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: nights when Robin's intensity legitimately terrified the crew, but he 339 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 1: showed his silly side just as often, using his improv 340 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: skills to scare away the vagrants. Who'd wander onto set. 341 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 1: During late night shoots in Central Park, he reveled in 342 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: the scenes that had him running naked through the park, 343 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 1: proudly shaking his hairy ass. At the New York City skyline. 344 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 1: Another night, a pack of pigeons unleashed an onslaught of 345 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 1: runny white shit onto him and his co star Jeff 346 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 1: Bridge's right when they finished filming an emotional scene at 347 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 1: four in the morning. Bridges said it was the only 348 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:57,119 Speaker 1: time he saw Robin at a loss for words. After 349 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:01,120 Speaker 1: the movie came out, Robin sat for an interview with Magazine. 350 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 1: At the end of the conversation, the interviewer asked Robin 351 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: if he had any fears of losing the balance between 352 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 1: his public and his private life. He responded by comparing 353 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,400 Speaker 1: himself to Jersey Kazinski and a claimed author who had 354 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: just recently died by suicide after suffering a debilitating stroke. 355 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: He just didn't want to become a vegetable. He didn't 356 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 1: want to lose his sharpness. Robin said, if I felt 357 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 1: like I was becoming not just dull but a rock 358 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: that I still couldn't spark, still fire off or talk 359 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: about things, I'd get afraid Robin explained that he had 360 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,960 Speaker 1: to keep finding new ways to let his mind run 361 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: wild because that's what kept him stable. He didn't mention 362 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: the bird shit, We'll be right back after this. We're, we're, we're. 363 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,200 Speaker 1: The sudden knock on the door made Robin Williams jump 364 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: so high he almost dropped his bottle. It's hard to 365 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 1: get that our mash smell out of the carpet. Harder 366 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 1: still to hide it from your friends. Who is it? 367 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: It was Men's, Robin's longtime makeup artists. A new drug 368 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: store was opening up downtown. Men's heard they might cut 369 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: a ribbon, blow up, some balloons, might even be cake. 370 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, wow, that sounds like a rollicking way to 371 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: spend the day. Robin rolled his eyes took another swig 372 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: of jack. If only there was literally anything else to 373 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 1: do here in nowhere, Yukon Territory. They were there to 374 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: work on an indie flick called The Big White. It 375 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 1: was a smaller production than Robin and his team were 376 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,440 Speaker 1: used to. It was a lot colder and more desolate 377 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 1: than they expected. We could always go outside and throw 378 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 1: a cup of coffee up in the air, Robin said, 379 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: we can see if it'll freeze before it hits the 380 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 1: fucking ground. As he took another drink, he realized Min's 381 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: was right. A pharmacy opening probably was the most exciting 382 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,200 Speaker 1: thing that was ever going to happen there. Fine, he'd 383 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: be right out. Robin opened the door to find Men's frowning. 384 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,119 Speaker 1: She looked him up and down, wants to and then again. 385 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: She took a big, cartoonish whiff of him and crossed 386 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: her arms. What Robin tried to play innocent, but he 387 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: knew that she knew exactly what was going on. He 388 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 1: reeked of whiskey. He was wasted. He was eager to 389 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 1: make some mistakes. The Big White seemed like a small 390 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,199 Speaker 1: commitment when Robin took the job in the spring of 391 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,239 Speaker 1: two thousand and four, a few weeks in Yukon, and 392 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,119 Speaker 1: then another few in Skagway, Alaska, and then back to 393 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 1: the Yukon before wrapping up in Winnipeg. Besides, he'd never 394 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,399 Speaker 1: acted in some zero temperatures before, so it sounded like 395 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 1: a fun challenge. But the lonely tundra also gave him 396 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,879 Speaker 1: plenty of time to reflect on his failings. There were 397 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: no comedy clubs out there, no laughing crowds to distract 398 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: him from himself. Robin's mind had nowhere to hide, and 399 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: he didn't like his own company. At a local grocery store, 400 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,199 Speaker 1: a nip of Jack Daniels caught his eye. It had 401 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 1: been almost twenty one years since he got cold turkey, 402 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: so he figured he could handle it, just to take 403 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: the edge off right Within a week, you could hear 404 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: the bottles clinking everywhere he went. In the decade or 405 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 1: so leading up to his relapse, Robin's career had been 406 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,679 Speaker 1: a roller coaster straight off the Fisher King. He started 407 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 1: in massive Hollywood hits like Hook and Jumanji. He had 408 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,439 Speaker 1: even more success with his voiceover work on fern Gully 409 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 1: and Aladdin, although he got into a bit of a 410 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: pissing match with Disney over using his voice to sell 411 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,919 Speaker 1: shitty Toysted children. As an alcoholic, you will violate your 412 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 1: standards quicker than you can lower them. Robin had spent 413 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: the nineties working to the bone, filming projects back to 414 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 1: back and releasing it to four films a year, and 415 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:42,439 Speaker 1: all those highs were met with even deeper lows. For 416 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 1: every Missus doutfire, there was a flubber or a father's 417 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: Day an absolute critical and financial disaster. Even Robin's most 418 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 1: successful projects still put him in the crosshairs of the critics, 419 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: who said he was too silly, or two sacrin or 420 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,479 Speaker 1: too sentimental, or just two Robin Williams phoning in some 421 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 1: weird performance that was maybe entertaining on its own, but 422 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,719 Speaker 1: never quite connected to the rest of the movie. He 423 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,959 Speaker 1: finally won his first Oscar in nineteen ninety eight for 424 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 1: his role as a therapist in Goodwill Hunting, and eighteen 425 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,640 Speaker 1: months later he was a joke again thanks to Buy 426 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:20,199 Speaker 1: Centennial Man. By the time Robin got to Alaska, he 427 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 1: had plenty of regrets to dwell on, so he crawled 428 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,639 Speaker 1: inside a bottle to quiet his thoughts. Then six months later, 429 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 1: his best friend passed away. Robin had met Christopher Reeve 430 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: in college, and there is Sense and to stardom have 431 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: been almost parallel. Chris was even godfather to Robin's son, Zach. 432 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 1: They both struggled with the balance of their personal and 433 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: professional lives, except that Chris had literally been both Clark 434 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:50,200 Speaker 1: Kent and Superman. After a horse riding accident left Chris paralyzed, 435 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: Robin renovated his friend's entire home to make sure everything 436 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,199 Speaker 1: was still accessible for Chris's new wheelchair. The news of 437 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: Chris's death sent Robin spiraling firther being a functioning alcoholic 438 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 1: is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer. You 439 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 1: can do it, just not as well as the others. 440 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,439 Speaker 1: Things came to a head the next year at Thanksgiving. 441 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 1: Imagine let's shit faced Robin Williams with an uncooked turkey 442 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: neck dangling out of his pants as he slurred his 443 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 1: way through a monologue about his tender meat. Do you 444 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,480 Speaker 1: think God was high when he made Dix? And Yeah, 445 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 1: we'll just pull this part back and put a mushroom 446 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: at the tip in Bam, We're done. Oh, let's put 447 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 1: some balls at the bottom. Balls are fun. Who doesn't 448 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: like balls. It got so bad that Zach Now in college, 449 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 1: had to carry his father up the stairs and wrestle 450 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: him onto the bed. But Robin still hadn't found his 451 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 1: rock bottom, not even in two thousand and six. It 452 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 1: can when he drunkenly dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars 453 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: at a charity auction. At one point, Robin stumbled up 454 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,960 Speaker 1: to the podium with a pair of designer sunglasses on 455 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: to hide his bloodshot eyes and proudly proclaimed, I just 456 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: bought a forty thousand dollars coke file. It was actually 457 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 1: a diamond necklace from our money, and the paparazzi were 458 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: there to document the night, so Robin thought the ruse 459 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: was up. He was so clearly tanked that someone had 460 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,199 Speaker 1: to figure it out. But everyone else thought it was 461 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 1: one big joke, and everyone adored Robin's wacky improv skills. 462 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 1: Everyone that is, except his wife, Marcia. Grace was mortified 463 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,239 Speaker 1: until she saw how much money he'd spent on that 464 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 1: private wyclough Shan concert eighty grand. Then she was just pissed. 465 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 1: A few weeks later, Robin sat naked in a hotel 466 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,399 Speaker 1: room with his pal Jack Daniels by his side. Fuck life, 467 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: he said out loud. A little voice inside his head 468 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 1: was sober enough to hear him. It spoke back, seriously, 469 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,360 Speaker 1: what the fuck? You know? You got it pretty fucking good, right? 470 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 1: You think maybe that bottle there might be influencing your 471 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:54,439 Speaker 1: thought process? Great, so let's save the suicide discussion for 472 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: another day, maybe after we started therapy. Not long after, 473 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 1: Zach got the family together to stage an intervention, Robin 474 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,920 Speaker 1: agreed to spend the summer of two thousand and six 475 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,680 Speaker 1: at a residential rehabilitation center in Oregon. He was still 476 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 1: a little hesitant about the twelve step program, and after all, 477 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: he'd gone cold turkey once before, he could do it 478 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:20,120 Speaker 1: again right. But then he realized that was exactly the problem. 479 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,119 Speaker 1: He had never stopped to reflect on why he'd been 480 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: abusing drugs and alcohol the first time around. Robin's time 481 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 1: in Oregon brought him clarity and helped him find a 482 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,359 Speaker 1: new perspective on life. His new commitment to sobriety meant 483 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 1: new beginnings. Zach had just moved to New York with 484 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: his own fiance, and Robin was eager to get to 485 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: know him as an adult instead of just as a son. 486 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 1: He was just as excited to see his daughter, Zelda 487 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 1: finish high school and moved to la to start her 488 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:53,239 Speaker 1: own acting career, but his relationship with Marsha Grace never 489 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 1: quite recovered. The betrayal of his relapse and the lies 490 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: that came along with it had left a wound too 491 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: deep to hear. But it wasn't just emotional wounds that 492 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: Robin had to contend with or the crazy shit he 493 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 1: had done while he was high, who was something else, 494 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: something inside of him waiting to go out of sync 495 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 1: one final time. Robin Williams couldn't stay single for long. 496 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: In twenty eleven, he got married again, this time to 497 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 1: a visual artist named Susan Schneider. Together they settled into 498 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: a new home in the Bay Area, in a small 499 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: town of ten thousand people. When he wasn't doing stand 500 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,320 Speaker 1: up at the local community theater or nearby playhouse, he 501 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: went to regular meetings for his twelve Step program, even 502 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,480 Speaker 1: returned to Broadway for a stint. As Robin entered into 503 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 1: his sixth decade of life, he was finally feeling content 504 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 1: and ready to enjoy things at a slower, steadier pace. 505 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: But Robin's brain was always fast, and it slowed down 506 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 1: even faster. In twenty thirteen, Robin took another TV gig 507 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 1: on a show called The Crazy Ones. It was his 508 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 1: first regular sitcom role since Mork and Mindy and seemed 509 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 1: like a nice easy paycheck at the time, But he 510 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: had trouble keeping up his energy and even more trouble 511 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: hiding it. He thought maybe it was a lack of 512 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: a live studio audience to feed off of, and then 513 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: his body started aching in new and unexpected ways, and 514 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: things got worse from there. At one point, the producers 515 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,760 Speaker 1: convinced his old More co star Pam Dauber to come 516 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 1: out of retirement for a recurring role in the show 517 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 1: in the hopes that it might get Robin's spirits up. 518 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 1: It didn't. After the show ended, Robin traveled to Vancouver 519 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 1: to reprise his role as Teddy Roosevelt in the third 520 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: night at the Museum. Movie Men's, his long time makeup artist, 521 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: went with him as usual, and once again she knew 522 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,600 Speaker 1: something was up. She found him in his hotel room sobbing. 523 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: The hell is wrong with me? Robin asked, can't even 524 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: remember my goddamn lines. Men's thought maybe he just needed 525 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: that audience adrenaline and that always cheered him up. She'd 526 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 1: gotten him by the arm to try and pull him 527 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: off the bed, which was far easier than she expected. 528 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: He'd lost a lot of weight. She reminded him about 529 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,200 Speaker 1: a comedy club down the street and they should go 530 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,560 Speaker 1: check it out. Robin looked at Min's with sunken eyes. 531 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:38,640 Speaker 1: His heart began racing faster, faster, faster, still, a steady 532 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,479 Speaker 1: rhythm pounding in his ears. A pulsing pain that started 533 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 1: in his cord and pushed up through the center of 534 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: a skull. He clenched a hand against his chest as 535 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: if he could stop. His lungs were shriveling tighter inside 536 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 1: of him. I can't min's, he said, I don't know how. 537 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: The room seemed to shrink and then collapse all around him. 538 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 1: The walls heaved in and out. He tried to breathe, 539 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: but it was like someone was squeezing his throat shut, 540 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: and there was no way out, no way out of 541 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: the room, no way out of his mind. Several weeks 542 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,120 Speaker 1: after Robin suffered a full blown panic attack, a doctor 543 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: diagnosed him with Parkinson's decease. Robin probably had at least 544 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 1: ten good years left in him if he did things right. 545 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: But Robin's relief was short lived. He wasn't having any 546 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 1: trouble with motor functions. Whatever was happening to him, it 547 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:32,360 Speaker 1: was in his mind. Robin went home to his wife, Susan, 548 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: and suddenly started losing entire days as soon as they happened. 549 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: I just want to reboot my brain, he told her. 550 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 1: Some days he'd call Zach ranting paranoid about how Susan's 551 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,360 Speaker 1: friends were all drug addicts out to steal his money 552 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 1: and then forget the entire conversation. One night, Robin saw 553 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: fellow comedian Dana Carvey in the parking lot of the 554 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 1: Bay Area theater that had become a second home. Robin 555 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: ran after him, pleading, tears streaming down his face. I'm 556 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: sorry about my dick, he said, How I call it, 557 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: mister Happy, that was your joke. I stole it from 558 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: you all those years ago, and I just pretended like 559 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 1: it never happened. I'm so sorry, Dana hell Robin while 560 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 1: he cried and gently tried to explain that actually, that 561 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 1: wasn't his stick joke. If Robin had stolen it, he 562 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: must have gotten it from someone else, and this just 563 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 1: made Robin even more confused. Over the course of that 564 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 1: summer in twenty fourteen, Robin's friends and family became increasingly 565 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 1: concerned about his behavior. They all tried in their own 566 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 1: ways to gently intervene. On a Sunday night in August, 567 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: he said good night to his wife, did some reading 568 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: on his iPad, then went into the other room and 569 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 1: hanged himself. After Robin's death by suicide, a medical autopsy 570 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: revealed that nearly every single neuron in his brain had 571 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: been ravaged by Lewis bodies. These are the same degenerative 572 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: proteins that caused Parkinson's, but Robin was actually suffering from 573 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:03,480 Speaker 1: a different disease, a cousin of Parkinson's called Louis body dementia. 574 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 1: Several doctors said he had the single worst case they'd 575 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:11,280 Speaker 1: ever seen. Instead of affecting Robin's motor skills, the Louis 576 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: bodies attacked his amignala in his brain, rapidly destroying his 577 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 1: ability to process memories, make decisions, or regulate his emotions, 578 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 1: and by the time of his death, nearly half of 579 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: the dopamine neurons in his brain had been destroyed. There's 580 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,360 Speaker 1: an old joke. Guy goes to a shrink, says he's depressed. 581 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 1: Shrink tells him to go see a clown called Polyacci 582 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 1: who's performing in town that night, and that'll cheer him out. 583 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,680 Speaker 1: And then the guy says, but doctor, I am Polyacci. 584 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: It's not uncommon to hear about the pressed comedians. But 585 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 1: that's not what happened with Robin. Williams. Sure he struggled 586 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 1: with his mental health for other reasons. Throughout his life. Obviously, 587 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,359 Speaker 1: no one can know what was going through his head 588 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: at the time of his death, but the Louis body 589 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 1: dementia meant that he was literally losing his entire sense 590 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: of pleasure or reward. By the time he died, Robin 591 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 1: was physiologically incapable of being happy. Robin Williams the Blitzkrieg 592 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,200 Speaker 1: Brain was his greatest gift to the world. It was 593 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 1: also the thing that killed him. But like the man 594 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:19,360 Speaker 1: himself once said, death is just nature's way of saying 595 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: your table's ready. I'm Jake Brennan and this is hollywood Land. 596 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 1: Hollywood Land was created by Years Truly and is produced 597 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,840 Speaker 1: in partnership with Double Elvis. Follow like, rate and review 598 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: hollywood Land wherever you get your podcasts, and get in 599 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,520 Speaker 1: touch with us on social media at double Elvis. If 600 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,360 Speaker 1: you like hollywood Land, check out my other show, the 601 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: award winning Disgraceland, which looks at the world of music 602 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 1: through the lens of true crime. Just search for Disgraceland 603 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: or wherever you get podcasts. God there's a lab MHM