1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: Hi, Katherine, Hello Chelsea. You guys, we are coming to 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 1: you live from Majorca in Spain. Yes we are. This 3 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: is an episode called CS I'm Majorca, where we will 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: be solving short murder mysteries. We're here with a group 5 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: of women and and a token male who happens to 6 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: be our sound engineer and podcast editor, Brad, who's Katherine's 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: lover slash husband. Indeed, so he's the only male in 8 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: a house filled with ten girls. Isn't nine girls? So 9 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: he is exhausted. He's been making the rounds and having 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: a great time. We told him this was a swinger's 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 1: week and that he was going to have to service 12 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: all ten women, and so he has been taking a 13 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: lot of apps. Yes, that's absolutely true. All the galaxy 14 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: to love him, though, I know, I know, very nicely done, Katherine, 15 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: great choice making. He fits in. He does the little 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: eyemasks that we were all doing when we had our 17 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: little spa moment. Yes, Jamie Greenberg is here. She's administering. 18 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: She's trying to contribute since her personality is not enough. 19 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: She is giving us Ie shades and facials and all 20 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 1: sorts of little treatments. I would say, yes, yes, she's 21 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: going to do all of our makeup before we go 22 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: out tonight. And it turns out that is that what's happening? Okay, 23 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: because that sounds that sounds annoying, sounds like a wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 24 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: yeah yeah. We make our work for it. But we've 25 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: been having some weather in my Orka which has been 26 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: kind of delightful, but it was unexpected. So there are 27 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: people actually surfing in front of the house today, which 28 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: is funny because the waves don't seem big enough to 29 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: be doing that. The weather is sunny during the days 30 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: and it rains a little bit at night, but we've 31 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: had crazy waves like today. These waves are and there's 32 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: an electrical storms a lot, and I love an electrical storm. 33 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: But then I've been hearing about all these people getting electrocuted, 34 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: so I'm now scared of electrical story. You were you 35 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: saying somebody died from an electrical storm that was like 36 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: two miles away. Yes, yes, I've heard a friend of 37 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: a friend her husband was electrocuted. Then on my on 38 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 1: the island of Majorca, there was an electrical storm and 39 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: two men were electrocuted. And so I usually sleep with 40 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: my window open, and now I am like every time 41 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: there's a storm, I'm like, I better shut that window 42 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: because the lightning is coming after us. It's like sharks. 43 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: Like sharks were bothering us for a while, and guess 44 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: what they are bothering us now? Because of climate change. 45 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: I believe. I believe everything is to blame on climate change. 46 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: That's my new theory about everything. Can I tell you 47 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: something I think I heard in the night with my 48 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: window open. Oh my god, was it a sexual act? 49 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: I mean it might have been, actually, but I think 50 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,679 Speaker 1: for the last two nights I have heard of whales 51 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: from the ocean. But also it sounds like whale sounds underwater, 52 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: So maybe I am hallucinating at four in the morning. 53 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: Are you taking them a lot of edibles here? Mushrooms? 54 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: What of you ingested so far? Well, we did have 55 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: some mushrooms on one of the first evenings. My favorite 56 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: moment from that was when we were all giggling and 57 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: laughing and having dinner on the terrorists, and we thought 58 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: we heard the most lovely man singing opera music and 59 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: we went to go check it out. We leaned over 60 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: the terrace wall and we heard a man walking by, 61 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: just going We thought it was opera. It was my 62 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: favorite moment. My cousin Molly was like, Chelsea, can you 63 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: please turn the music off? I think I hear opera 64 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: so seriously, and I just was like, oh, shut up. 65 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: First all, do you know how long it takes me 66 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: to get the fucking music on with fucking son Nos? 67 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: I hate sons. I've named my baby Sons. He's upstairs 68 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: in the crib in my closet and I tape his 69 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: mouth shut every night so that he can't work, just 70 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: like my son Nos can't work. I don't know if 71 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: I have an electrical charge within me that speaking of electricution, 72 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm there's something that happens when 73 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: I touch music that makes it stop working. Anyway, we 74 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: turned it off so we could hear opera, only to 75 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: find out that there was a man drunk in the street. 76 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: La la la. But it sounded so beautiful to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 77 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: Well I'm glad everyone's partaking. We do need more drugs 78 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: though this is a very light drug vacation. I wasn't prepared. 79 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: I just assumed people would bring them like they always do, 80 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: and not enough people did. We all just assumed you 81 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 1: would bring them yeah, well I'm out. I've been here 82 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 1: for about a month. I did. When I ask you 83 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: this of your time in Ma Yorka, what was your worst, 84 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: your weirdest, and your best experience? So far? My worst experience, 85 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: Let's think about worst experience other than oh so nos. Yeah. Well, 86 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 1: let's see, I've been doing a lot of biking, so 87 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: I think the day that we pushed it too far 88 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: probably would be one of my worst, not worst experiences. 89 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: Worst experiences here, I guess, are biking experiences. I probably 90 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: biked like something like sixty miles and I'm pretty sure 91 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: I had heat stroke and I went to bed at 92 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: six thirty. We had a chef that night coming in, 93 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: this woman, Dorothea, who's incredible, and I went to sleep. 94 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: I went upstairs to take a nap and warned everybody 95 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: that if I went down for a nap, I might 96 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 1: not get back up, which is exactly what happened. And 97 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,479 Speaker 1: every time she comes, I've had heat stroke, or I've 98 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: been sick or dehydrated or too drunk or something that 99 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 1: I couldn't have dinner. So Dorothea just thinks I'm a 100 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: hot mess um and I'm fine with that. So I 101 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: guess I wouldn't call that worst, but that was the most, 102 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: not the worst. My body felt like I felt like 103 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: I was sick and I had heat stroke. My best 104 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: experience would also involve a bike ride. Oh, scuba diving. 105 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: I've been scuba diving three or four times since I've 106 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: been here, and that's been awesome because that used to 107 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: scare the ship out of me. And then the strangest 108 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 1: experience is that what you asked the strangest, Oh, I was, well, 109 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: not strangest, but it was funny. I was at to see. 110 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: I was at this kind of little yacht club the 111 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: other night we all went a group of my girlfriends. 112 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: Before this group came, my group from Whistler was here, 113 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: and we went to the out club and there was 114 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: this guy having a private party and I went in 115 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: and to order a drink and he's like, are you 116 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: with the party? And I was like no, and he 117 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: like motioned for me to like get the funk out, 118 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: and I was like okay. And then as I was 119 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: walking out, somebody's like, I think that was Chelsea Handler 120 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: and I went down to sit at a different area 121 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: and then slowly, one by one, the entire party came 122 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 1: down to my area, and that guy was left by 123 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: himself at his own party. So that was actually one 124 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 1: of my best experiences now that I'm thinking about it. 125 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: I liked when that happened. That was very funny because 126 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: I didn't argue. I just was like, Okay, buddy, I 127 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: don't need to be at your party. And then I 128 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: was like, but guess where the party's going to end up? 129 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,359 Speaker 1: All his friends wanted to be at your party. Yeah, 130 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: so that was good. I did like when we were 131 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: walking along to dinner the other night and two girls, 132 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 1: two American girls, stopped you and like, we're just such 133 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: big fans, You're amazing. And then one of them that 134 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: we were passing by them, and one of them was like, 135 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: can we can we maybe get a pick? And her 136 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: friend just cut her off and goes, no, we're not 137 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 1: doing that, and we all cheered. We're like, this friend 138 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: knew what was up, did her friend of salad? It 139 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: was great. Yeah, I like that. I like when somebody 140 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: interrupts that, it's like that's not necessary. That way, you 141 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: have an even better story, like we didn't interrupt her evening. 142 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: I'm excited for the jet lag that I'm going to 143 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: have that we're all going to have when we go home, 144 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 1: but probably mine will be the worst because I've been 145 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: here for so long, for a whole month, that I 146 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: will be waking up at three thirty to four o'clock 147 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: in the morning for the next probably month and a half. 148 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: You also are flying back and you have a show 149 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: the next day. I don't know how You're Mountain Winery 150 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: sold out though, but I do have lots of shows 151 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: coming up in October and November. Yeah, so I'm you 152 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: could check Chelsea Handler dot com. And then there's I'm 153 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: doing tons of dates and Passa Robliss, California, Baker's Field, 154 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: I'm doing Tampa, Florida. I'm doing Daytona Beach, Florida. I'm 155 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: going to all the hot spots you guys that I 156 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: haven't hit already on this tour. I would also like 157 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: to point out that you are doing what we now 158 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: know because of many emails that I have gotten. Thank you. 159 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: Pennsylvania is announced reading Pennsylvania. Yes, yes, I'm sorry. I've 160 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,839 Speaker 1: been mispronouncing that and I've gotten a lot of d 161 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 1: m s about that as well. In addition to all 162 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:39,440 Speaker 1: the photos of feet that I get now of bare feet, 163 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: on airplanes, bare feet in lounges, bare feet at airports, 164 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: bare feet at movie theaters, bare feet at live concert events. 165 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 1: I have been bombarded with bare feet fit pictures of 166 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: bear feet. Honestly, you just need to start an only 167 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,200 Speaker 1: fans and start uploading them. I mean, well, I do 168 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: need to start an only fans because I'm ready to 169 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: have sex on camera, but to do only fans without 170 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: sex like they're like fetish people are like, this is 171 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: my cooking show on only fans. I think that's what 172 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: it's like, even though that's what I'll be doing, that's 173 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: what it's for. It's time. Well, you're ready to take 174 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: some question. I am always Well, let's take a quick 175 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: break and we'll be back with our first questions. And 176 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: we're back here we are, So our first question comes 177 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: from Natalie. Natalie says, Dear Chelsea, this is probably the 178 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: pettiest email you'll get. I started a new job about 179 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: two months ago, and even though I have never introduced 180 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: myself as such, absolutely every single person calls me Nat. 181 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: I hate it and it makes me cringe, and no 182 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: one in my personal life calls me that. Is it 183 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: too late to correct people? Or is this just something 184 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: I now have to live with, or do I quit 185 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 1: respectfully yours Natalie Natalie emphasis on the alley. No, you 186 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 1: could just do I quit. I like that, it's that 187 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: horrible for her. I no, No, I understand when you're 188 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: not called the right name. Well, no, actually I don't, 189 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: because people call me Chelsea and I don't really care 190 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: about that. But if you do care about Nat instead 191 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: of Natalie, just correct them. Just tell them you prefer 192 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: to be called Natalie and that you had an uncle 193 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: named Nat that you know didn't turn out great or something. 194 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: If you need an excuse, but you don't, really it's 195 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: your name, Yeah, you hated not Cain Cole. No, you 196 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: should just tell people. Yeah. See, I get this because 197 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: I get called occasionally Cathy and I'm like, no, that's no, 198 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 1: it's not me. Or you know, sometimes Pop will call 199 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: me Cat, which like is kind of fine, but I 200 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: don't prefer to go by it. I prefer Catherine. But 201 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: I have a hard time correcting people in the moment 202 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 1: because of my Midwestern nice But I in Natalie honestly. 203 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: Since it's workplace, maybe it could involve like a small 204 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: funny workplace memo email or you know, something that goes around. 205 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: Everyone's a great idea. Yeah, make it funny. Send everyone 206 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: email goo. I know everyone started to call me Nat, 207 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 1: and I have a real issue with that name for 208 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 1: reasons I cannot explain. In this memo, can you please 209 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: refer to me as with my full name? Yeah, so, like, 210 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: you know, make it light, make it silly, but like 211 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 1: that way everyone gets the picture all at once, or 212 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: you know, when you meet people just saying like, oh, 213 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: you know what, Actually people refer to me as Natalie 214 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 1: two months in. I think it's due for a funny memo. Yeah, well, Natalie, 215 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: your problem is solved, Okay, Natalie. I like how she 216 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: opened that with this might be the pettiest question we've 217 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: ever gotten, But I don't think petty. I don't think 218 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: petty is the right word. But it's the least consequential 219 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 1: email we've gotten. But I love that, Like it's okay 220 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: to sense off that's not all about trauma. Yeah, well 221 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: we're yeah exactly. It's a nice breath of fresh air. 222 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 1: We need like questions sometimes, guys. Our next question comes 223 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: from Lisa. Lisa. Oh, and by the way, our theme 224 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: for today's episode is that colors from Europe because we're here, 225 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,959 Speaker 1: there's a time differential, and you know we wanted to 226 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,959 Speaker 1: record in the mornings. We've got European callers. Okay, dear Chelsea. 227 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: My name is Sanna. I'm almost thirty years old and 228 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: I live in Belgium with my wife and dog. All 229 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: my life, I've been different than the rest, not that 230 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: I ever really cared about that, but I do a 231 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: lot of self reflection and sometimes I feel like too 232 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: much of an outcast. I had a pretty traumatic and 233 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: heavy past and tried therapy a few times because I 234 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: tend to self destruct. I stopped going since it was 235 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: so expensive and I wasn't clicking with any of them. 236 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: I started smoking weed a few years ago and it 237 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: has helped with my depression and anxiety. A few psychologists 238 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 1: hinted that I have a d h D after reading 239 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: as much as I could find about it. I do 240 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: think the same, but it always felt more than that 241 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: to me. After hanging out in the dog park one 242 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 1: day with a lovely lady that was on LSD at 243 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:14,679 Speaker 1: the moment, she hinted that I seemed to be on 244 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: the spectrum. She felt like that because she also is. 245 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: I was convinced I wasn't and did an online test 246 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: to see if I had similarities. I scored the second 247 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: to the highest score on this test. It kind of 248 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: wrecked me already knowing that I might be on the spectrum, 249 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: But now I don't know how I feel about actually 250 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: getting diagnosed properly. In a way, it would help me 251 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: with my relationship with my wife and especially myself, maybe 252 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: I would be less hard on myself, but it also 253 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 1: freaks me out. And it's so expensive to get diagnosed, 254 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: So I'm hesitant. What should I do? Go for it 255 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: and get tested. I'm really lost love Sanna and she's 256 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: here with us. Hi, Sanna, Hi, how are you? I'm 257 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: really good on you good, very good. We're excited to 258 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 1: be talking to you today. So oh, I love your story. 259 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: First of all, that you've got a woman in the park. 260 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: It was on LSD who may have diagnosed you as 261 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: being on the spectrum. I didn't realize that it was 262 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: that expensive to get diagnosed. What's the situation with that? 263 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 1: So it costs like a thousand euros just to get diagnosed, 264 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: and then you didn't even have like any help or 265 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: any guidance, or they just sell you if you have 266 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: it or not? And what kind of testing is that? 267 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: Is that through a doctor? Is it that through a 268 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: government agency? Like? What is that? Yeah, it's like with 269 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: psychologists and and it takes a few days, so it's 270 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: like proper testing, like they test you on everything. It's 271 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: not just like for the autim or the d h D. 272 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: So it's good because then you know, like if you 273 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: have the full package. You know, But it's expensive, you know, 274 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 1: I think it's really expensive. No, it does sound expensive. 275 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: Is that something you can afford? Um? I could? Yeah, 276 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: I don't want to, right, right, But do you not 277 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: want to because of the money or do you not 278 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: want to because you're hesitant about finding out the results. 279 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,080 Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit of both. People of 280 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: like such a thought, like they already have a judgment 281 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: about autism. And there's a lot of freedom in knowing 282 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 1: what your diagnosis is, you know what I mean. It 283 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 1: opens up a lot to understand yourself and to have 284 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 1: a better understanding, Like I have my friend who diagnosed 285 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: her husband with autism. She just kind of realized, oh 286 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: and saw all the signs and asked him if he 287 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: wanted to get his testing, And once he found out 288 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: he had it, he understood all the things that he 289 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: wasn't connecting. You know, there's a spectrum. We're all on 290 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: the spectrum. I joke with my friends all the time 291 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: because it's like one of us is, you know, on 292 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: one end of the spectrum, the other one is on 293 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 1: the other end of the spectrum. But it's like, these 294 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: aren't shameful diagnoses anymore. It's powerful to know, just as 295 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: powerful as it is to know if you have a 296 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 1: personality disorder, if you have a d D, how a 297 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: d h D plays into something like autism, and how 298 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: those two things work in conjunction. Like what do you 299 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: notice about yourself and your personality traits that would lead 300 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: you to think that you were autistic or have a 301 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: d h D. I think I'm a very socially awkward person, 302 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: Like I mimic a lot of situations from TV and 303 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: like watching people, So in my head it's like, oh, 304 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: that's how you talk to people, or like that's how 305 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,360 Speaker 1: you behave or my wife were together for seven years 306 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 1: now and she helped me so much all the time. 307 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: She has to like kick me in and be like 308 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: you can't say that that's rude, or like you're weird. 309 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: You don't react in this way, and I'm like, oh funk, yeah, 310 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: and then I look it up and I'm like, oh yeah, 311 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 1: so weird, Like wow, how could I not think about it? 312 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: And like my emotions in general, I tend to spiral 313 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 1: into an emotion or I'm emotionless, or I spiral in 314 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: one emotion and I have like a breakdown things like that. 315 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: I just have a lot of anxiety if things that 316 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: don't go according to how we will go in my head, 317 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: like I tend to like creak out a little bit 318 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 1: since I had such a heavy past and I I 319 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: had to grow up really fast, so I learned how 320 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: to do a lot of stuff. So I realized, like, oh, 321 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: I'm what they call masking. I feel like I've been 322 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 1: masking a lot in my life and I feel like 323 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: I'm always almost underwater, like trying to breathe, and I 324 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: think that has a lot to do with it, and 325 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 1: maybe being diagnosed and finally know like okay, like it's 326 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 1: all masking, Like it's normal that you're like this. Maybe 327 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 1: it will make me like breath after a while. I 328 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: don't know. And are you taking any medication for your 329 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 1: a d h D. Nice smoke smoke weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 330 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 1: I think you should definitely just use the money get diagnosed. 331 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: It's going to give you a lot more freedom. It 332 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,479 Speaker 1: feels like what you're talking about, you're kind of stuck, 333 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: like when you said you're underwater. It would be so 334 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,400 Speaker 1: nice to be above water and not have that feeling anymore. 335 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 1: And there's a lot of liberty that comes with understanding 336 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: your personality. And there's no shame in that, you know 337 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you don't have to tell everybody 338 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: that you're autistic or you're that you're on the spectrum, 339 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: if that's what you end up being. I know in America, uh, 340 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 1: everyone's talking about this right now, and everyone's interested, and 341 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: everyone's curious, and if anyone's on the spectrum, they do 342 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 1: want to know about it. And maybe it's taking a 343 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: little bit of a longer time to get to Europe 344 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 1: in that way, but I think that you should embrace it. 345 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 1: You know, it's nothing to not be proud of. Autistic 346 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: people have so much to offer and it's so like you, 347 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,119 Speaker 1: You have things to offer that people who think in 348 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,159 Speaker 1: a linear way and that don't suffer from that social 349 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: anxiety aren't offering up you know, because that's considered normal, 350 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: whereas what you're considered what what you have is a 351 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 1: different version of being normal, you know, And there's probably 352 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 1: a large community of people once you find out what 353 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,159 Speaker 1: your exact diagnosis is that you can connect with, so 354 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: you don't feel so alone and you don't feel so 355 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:50,159 Speaker 1: unique and abnormal so to speak. Mm hmm, yeah, that 356 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,679 Speaker 1: makes sense. And I would also say, you've had this 357 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 1: confirmation from like a lady on LSD and an online test, 358 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: official testing might be a great way to go, but 359 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: you might all so because I know you're sort of like, well, 360 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 1: that doesn't give me any treatment, that's just the confirmation. 361 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: So you might maybe potentially skip a little bit of 362 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: a step and talk to a therapist who specializes and 363 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: people who are on the spectrum, and they might be 364 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,400 Speaker 1: able to after interacting with you for a little while 365 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,399 Speaker 1: kind of sort of tell you if you need to 366 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,919 Speaker 1: get official testing and get a real diagnosis, or you know, 367 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 1: whether they can just start treating you because they'll be 368 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: able to see some of those signs. But I really 369 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: think with anything like this because I have a d 370 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 1: h D and it's something that I didn't I was 371 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: very lucky, like I found out that I had a 372 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 1: d h D amongst a group of people who also 373 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 1: had a d h D, and we're super successful entrepreneurs, 374 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: interesting people, And in that context, it was like, that's 375 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: a superpower. We know how to get things done, we 376 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: know how to start projects where leaders, all these wonderful things. 377 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: And I really think that some of these things that 378 00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: are posed as limitations in a lot of ways can 379 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 1: absolutely become superpowers. But you can't find the tools to 380 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: help you until you kind of know whether that's what 381 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: you're dealing with or not. Yeah, that's true, that makes sense. 382 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 1: Do you take medication for a d h D, Catherine, 383 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 1: I don't take medication. I've tried it a little bit, 384 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,120 Speaker 1: but it kind of made me feel a little bit, 385 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: almost like hyper focused, And yeah, I had the same. Yeah. 386 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: For me, it's more about having built in tools around me. So, 387 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,400 Speaker 1: for example, I make excessive lists. A lot of people 388 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: don't like to make a list, but you know, any 389 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,239 Speaker 1: time I need to remember something or something comes up, 390 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,600 Speaker 1: I write it down if I need to follow up 391 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: on it, because otherwise it's gone yes, And I love 392 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,800 Speaker 1: to write ship down that already did yes exactly, and 393 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 1: then I get the satisfaction of crossing it off, it's delightful. 394 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: Or for example, you know, if I'm talking to a 395 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 1: friend at a party and I'm like, oh my gosh, 396 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: you gotta check out this Netflix documentary or whatever, I'll 397 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: be like, text me tomorrow and I'll let you know, 398 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: because i know I'm never going to remember the scent 399 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: it um. So it's just about like building in those 400 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 1: tools to help you relate to others, to help you 401 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 1: in work with your wife, whatever it might be. Yeah, 402 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 1: I don't think it's anything to be afraid of though, No, 403 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 1: definitely not. It shouldn't be. You should like run towards that, 404 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: you know, because knowledge is power. The more you know 405 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: about yourself, the more power you have over every situation. 406 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,639 Speaker 1: So you should definitely go get that testing done or 407 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: find a therapist that you can work with who can 408 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 1: kind of help guide you to figure out what your 409 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 1: diagnosis is. Yeah, let's see if the lady on Lyssie 410 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: was right. She probably was. She probably was. He disappeared, though, 411 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: I wonder what happened to her. I haven't seen. Oh yeah, 412 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: but also, you know, a therapist and expert in this 413 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,440 Speaker 1: field or related fields will also be able to help 414 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: you figure out the relationship between everything you have going on. 415 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: So when you have anxiety and maybe a d h 416 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,439 Speaker 1: D and maybe you're on the spectrum a little bit, 417 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: there is a relationship between those things. And I think 418 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,399 Speaker 1: once you get tools to deal with some of those things, 419 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: like for me, having tools to make sure that like 420 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 1: I know that I'm good at my job or I 421 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,880 Speaker 1: know I'm doing what I need to in my interpersonal relationships, 422 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 1: that also helps my anxiety go down, you know, So 423 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: it's all sort of interconnected as well. Yeah, you're right, 424 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: all right, No, I know, I'm going to get this 425 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 1: good and report back. Let us know what happens. Okay, 426 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: thanks Anna, sa I how cute is she cute? I 427 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 1: think everyone's on the spectrum and we all just need 428 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 1: to accept that. You just have to find out what 429 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,880 Speaker 1: part of the spectrum you're on. Yeah, that's a good point. 430 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,360 Speaker 1: I mean everything she was describing, like her wife has 431 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: to kick her under the table when she says something 432 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: at a table a dinner party, or kind of spiraling 433 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 1: when you said something down and you know, friendship relationship. 434 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's all very normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 435 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:59,199 Speaker 1: but I mean it's like the sexuality spectrum. You know, 436 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,239 Speaker 1: it's like gender identification and all of that. It's like 437 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 1: we're all finding out that it's not one thing or 438 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: the other. There's no black and white. There's a whole 439 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: array of possibilities, and it's like who cares, you know 440 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 1: what I mean at this point, like there's no nothing 441 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: to be embarrassed about. Yeah, it's just like find out 442 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,640 Speaker 1: what works for you and then do that. Yeah, because 443 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 1: if you look at us at a deficit in one area, 444 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: that means even if that's how you view it, like oh, 445 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: this makes me deficient, it's like, no, that makes you 446 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: excel in other areas. Yeah. Absolutely. Even watching like Love 447 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 1: on the Spectrum, that Netflix show, which I absolutely love, 448 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 1: you see these people who you know, one for example, 449 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: he's like, oh, I've never had a girlfriend, but they 450 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 1: can be like what seventy five times forty two and 451 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: instantly knows exactly what the number is. They can be 452 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 1: like what day of the week was, you know, April four, 453 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: and he knows like it's a Monday. I mean that's 454 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 1: obviously a sort of on a further end of the spectrum, 455 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,920 Speaker 1: but there are absolutely superpowers that come with that. Well, 456 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 1: that was how what was it? How did they frame 457 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,640 Speaker 1: it with the Dustin Hoffman Tom Cruise movie. Dustin Hoffman 458 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 1: was was he identified as autistic in that movie? Because 459 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:12,159 Speaker 1: I feel like that was before they called a savant. Yeah, 460 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: like in that Rain of rain Man. Yeah, that was 461 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: before we even were talking about like autism in the 462 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,840 Speaker 1: way we are today. Totally, that was sort of viewed 463 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: as a binary, like you're a savant or your typical, 464 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 1: your normal, so so to speak. But I think Santa's 465 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: got some good work ahead of her and she's going 466 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: to be ay. Okay, Yeah, I like that she's got 467 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,399 Speaker 1: I mean, she's in a healthy relationship. It sounds like, 468 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:42,120 Speaker 1: so there, that's a good thing. Totally, totally Okay. Well, 469 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: our next question comes from Lisa. Hi, Chelsea, thank you 470 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: for your fun and enlightening podcast. My name is Lisa. 471 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: I'm a forty year old woman from Oslo, Norway, no kids, 472 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,679 Speaker 1: no husband, but a dog. Two years ago, I moved 473 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,919 Speaker 1: far north for a job, but also to get some 474 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: distance between me and my family, friends a network. I've 475 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 1: spent this time doing lots of therapy and healing work, 476 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: and it turns out there's really not many people I 477 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 1: want to keep in my life. It's been a really 478 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 1: sad and lonely realization that I'm pretty much on my 479 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 1: own in life. But at least now I can move 480 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,360 Speaker 1: forward with clarity. I just quit my job up here 481 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 1: and I'm ready to start something new. My question is 482 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,639 Speaker 1: is it crazy to move to a new country alone 483 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 1: at forty starting my life from scratch, or is it 484 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,439 Speaker 1: better to go back to my hometown of Oslo and 485 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 1: make a new start there. I want to be adventurous 486 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 1: like I was in my twenties, but it feels a 487 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: lot scarier now. Some advice would be great. Thank you 488 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:40,880 Speaker 1: and take care. Love, Lisa, Hi, Lisa, Hi, Oh my god? Hello? 489 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 1: Can you hear me? Hi? How are you? I'm good? Awesome. So, Lisa, 490 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 1: where are you living now? I'm living in the Norway, 491 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:56,000 Speaker 1: in the north of Norway, Okay, and I will you 492 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 1: guys are in Spain. Yeah? Cool? So you are contemplating 493 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: picking up and moving. Yeah, I'm kind of in a 494 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: little of a midlife crisis situation because things hasn't turned 495 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,120 Speaker 1: out the way I probably had envisioned for myself being 496 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 1: at this age and time in my life, and I 497 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,439 Speaker 1: just think that that's an opportunity to do something completely different, 498 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 1: like I have I don't have kids, I don't have anything, 499 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: Like I have a dog that I have to bring 500 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: up with me. But apart from that, I'm pretty free 501 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: to do things. But at the same time, it feels 502 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: kind of scary. I did this move. I mean, I 503 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: moved a few times before. I've lived in other countries 504 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 1: before when I was younger, but it was different then 505 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: because it was with studies and now it's more like 506 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 1: you have to start all on your own. And and 507 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,159 Speaker 1: so you were saying that you're contemplating moving to a 508 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 1: completely new city or back to your hometown. Yeah, I'm 509 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 1: kind of in between right now. And I just found 510 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,120 Speaker 1: like this really cute little three house that I might 511 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 1: be able to get here. So everything is at the moment, 512 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,639 Speaker 1: it's I have a job interview tomorrow, So it's like 513 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: it's a lot of different directions at this moment, and 514 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 1: I'm I'm not really sure what's the best thing to do. Okay, 515 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: So you have an opportunity to get a little dream 516 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: house where in Oslo here in the north, Okay, and 517 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: moving home would be moving to Oslo, is that correct? 518 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 1: That's right? Okay? And the job interview would be in 519 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,080 Speaker 1: the north as well. The job interview is in the 520 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 1: one that's now isn't Oslo, And it's a really cool 521 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,879 Speaker 1: opportunity for me, actually, and I was really excited to 522 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 1: get this interview, and so that's cool. But at the 523 00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: same time, there's a lot of things that I don't 524 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 1: want in Oslo, Like I have some really golden friends 525 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: and people that I that I miss a lot, and 526 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 1: that would be great to see. But I also feel 527 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 1: after I moved here that I've changed so much and 528 00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: I've changed perspectives a lot, and I find that maybe 529 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: it would be better to just try something completely different. Okay. 530 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: And when you say your life hasn't turned out the 531 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: way that you thought it would, what do you mean 532 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: by that? What did you picture for yourself or envision? 533 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: I guess like I've never been the kind of I've 534 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 1: never had, like, oh, I'm gonna get married and have 535 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 1: kids by that, I've never had that kind of thing. 536 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: I was really just shocked when people in the early thirties, 537 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,159 Speaker 1: when everyone around me was doing that, I was like, 538 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: what are we there already? Like I couldn't relate to 539 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,239 Speaker 1: it at all, And so I just felt like I 540 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: had all the time in the world, and then I 541 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,359 Speaker 1: met a guy and suddenly I was like super in love. 542 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 1: It was in my mid thirties and all of that 543 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: was suddenly happening for me, and I just felt like, 544 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: obviously that's what's going to happen, right, like this is it. 545 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: And I was really happy about it. But I was 546 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 1: also I'm sure, which I mean now I'm so so 547 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,160 Speaker 1: glad it did not been like it was completely the 548 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 1: wrong guy and everything. But after that I had like 549 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 1: a real like, what the fuck it's going to happen now? 550 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 1: I felt like the train had left the station and 551 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 1: wasn't there even a move to New York in the 552 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:08,960 Speaker 1: picture or somewhere totally fresh and new that you're considering, Yes, exactly, 553 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: because I talked to this woman and she was like, 554 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 1: she said, I don't think you should live you know, 555 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 1: a way at all. And I've always heard that I'm 556 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 1: not very in Norwegian, like I've never felt that I've 557 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: completely like fit in. For instance, I lived in Italy 558 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: and my temperament and my my personality is much more 559 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 1: Italian than Norwegian. With the politics in America, I was 560 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 1: scaring the ship out of me so thatth Nicks and 561 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,680 Speaker 1: that's all like tempting, but it seems like there's more 562 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 1: options for women, Like there's so many more lifestyles to explore. 563 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 1: I've always wanted to live there, and that's something to 564 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: consider now, right, So yeah, I mean the advantage about 565 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 1: being a foreigner and moving to America is like, you know, 566 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 1: if the politics gets too bad, you can always bounce 567 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 1: out of there. It's not like you're tied down to staying. 568 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: I would say, like, I'm always up for an advant 569 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: and share and at forty like, if you don't do 570 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: it now, you might not do it. So I would 571 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: always lean towards like, oh God, take a huge leap 572 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 1: of faith, you know, get do and try something new, 573 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,800 Speaker 1: you know, kind of infuse your life with some excitement 574 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 1: that you can really like be excited about. You know, 575 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: there's a lot of reasons you don't want to move 576 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: back to Oslo. And you'll see what happens with this interview, 577 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 1: and if it becomes a job opportunity, then you know 578 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 1: you'll be considering that more. But I would always I 579 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 1: air on the side of taking a leap of faith, 580 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: like I just think that that always yields much more 581 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 1: exciting results than falling into what has worked for you 582 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: before or an old pattern or yeah, like going back 583 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 1: home to me doesn't sound like a great move, That 584 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 1: doesn't sound like a new life for or what you're 585 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: looking for. And it's always gonna be there, like that's 586 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: my home time, like that's where my family lives and 587 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: I have friends, and it's always going to be there. 588 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 1: So that's the security about of course living in Scandinavia 589 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,959 Speaker 1: or you know, in any Western countries that you can 590 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 1: always go back if things you know don't torn up. 591 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 1: But even just moving to another like up in the 592 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: north here it was like under the pandemic and I 593 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 1: didn't know anybody, and people who are really kind of 594 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 1: in the beginning very close off, and it was really 595 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,800 Speaker 1: tough because I'm very social person and I've never been 596 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: so lonely in my life that I've been up here. 597 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: But it's been an amazing experience. So I feel like 598 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: if I could do that, then with Americans it seems 599 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: like like you're really good at like small talking and 600 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,160 Speaker 1: all that, but it's it's a very surface leveled everything. 601 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 1: Is that true? Well, it can be true. I think 602 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: it depends on where you are a friend of mine 603 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 1: just moved to New York and he was sort of 604 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 1: in a similar situation where he like always wanted to 605 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: move to New York. He turned fifty and he had 606 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,800 Speaker 1: a little bit of a health event in the last 607 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,040 Speaker 1: year that he was just like, you know what, I 608 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: need to get my brain doing stuff that's like brand new, 609 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 1: break out of my mold, create some new neural pathways. 610 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 1: And I've always wanted to do this. So he moved. 611 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 1: And when he did move, he was like, you know what, 612 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 1: every time I go out, I make five new friends 613 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: and they're sort of like single serving friends where it's 614 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 1: like super exciting and new. But now he's been there 615 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 1: for three months and he's really becoming like part of 616 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 1: the fabric of the community that he's in. He's calling 617 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 1: up these people that he met and they're going out 618 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 1: and he's sort of like starting to make friends. And 619 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: that's only three months in. But New York feels like 620 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: a good place for that. If you're like ready to 621 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:39,520 Speaker 1: go have an adventure. I mean, look, you're you're smiling 622 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 1: from ear to ear when you when you talk about 623 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 1: it and we think about it. I think you have 624 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: to follow things that make you light up exactly. It's 625 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,959 Speaker 1: just so to get constricted when you're like reaching certain 626 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 1: age and you feel like, well, that was what you 627 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: did in your twenties or whatever, and it's like, well, 628 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be, you know, it doesn't really, No, 629 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 1: I don't think it does have to be. And you 630 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: just already exhibited that you can handle a situation by 631 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 1: moving to the North and not having that social kind 632 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: of fabric that you are used to and surviving that. 633 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 1: It's not going to be like that in New York City. 634 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,880 Speaker 1: There's just by the sheer volume of people, you're gonna 635 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 1: find people and you'll be able to sort through them 636 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: pretty quickly. Like I would say, Yeah, l A can 637 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 1: be is probably much more shallow than New York. There's 638 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 1: a lot more substance there. So while Americans in general, 639 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,600 Speaker 1: like as a stereotype, might not have that much depth. Like, 640 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: you're always going to find people, you know, you kind 641 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: of attract what you are, so like you're gonna find 642 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: people who have more to offer than just surface talk, 643 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,320 Speaker 1: just by the nature of you having more of that 644 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 1: to offer. Yeah, and forty is so young. It's so young. Yes, No, 645 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,200 Speaker 1: I mean you're absolutely in your prime. You seem like 646 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,680 Speaker 1: someone who's very open to adventure and seeking adventure, and 647 00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 1: I think it would be you would be making yourselves 648 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: smaller to do something that feels like it's not the 649 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: right choice, to go somewhere where you know, like you said, 650 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,760 Speaker 1: all eyes are on you. How are you living your life? 651 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,759 Speaker 1: Are you gonna settle down anytime soon? Is sort of 652 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 1: the question that's in the air. I mean, this is 653 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 1: absolutely a time to go have an adventure. Yeah, I'm 654 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,560 Speaker 1: gonna go and look at LinkedIn and see what options 655 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: there are from me. God, do that, and try and 656 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 1: set up some yeah, try and set up some interviews 657 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 1: and stuff like that so you can keep the ball 658 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 1: rolling in the right direction. Yeah. Yeah. And it's really 659 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: cool to take that kind of risk and to take 660 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 1: that kind of chance and to like always act bravely, 661 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 1: you know, because it's a brave action and a bold 662 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 1: notion to pick up and move and good things are 663 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,320 Speaker 1: going to happen because of it. Yeah. Right, It's true. 664 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 1: I've never regretted any like risks. I mean, you never 665 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,120 Speaker 1: regret the things you do, right, it's the things you 666 00:34:51,160 --> 00:35:00,000 Speaker 1: don't do well. It depends. Yeah, Well, Lisa, let us 667 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,280 Speaker 1: know how it goes, and what you decide to do, 668 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,279 Speaker 1: I will thank you so much, thank you, and just 669 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: remember you will be welcomed with open arms if you're 670 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:13,880 Speaker 1: forty and not interested in having children in America. Exactly, exactly, 671 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:20,000 Speaker 1: that's good. Nice to talk to you. To enjoy Spain by, 672 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: take care by. Thanks. She's cute. Yeah, she's gonna go 673 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,400 Speaker 1: have a fabulous adventure wherever it is. I like how 674 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,080 Speaker 1: people think it's forties too late for things. It's like, 675 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 1: we're gonna live till we're sucking eighty, I mean probably longer. 676 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,120 Speaker 1: My folks when they were in there, like late fifties, 677 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 1: picked up, took my thirteen year old brother and moved 678 00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:45,360 Speaker 1: to Costa Rica for a year. Yes, and they in 679 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:50,880 Speaker 1: their fifties learned Spanish from like not knowing anything. My 680 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 1: little brother started in the language school where they were studying. 681 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 1: He after a couple of months, of course, surpassed the 682 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:58,839 Speaker 1: language school and they were like, what do you think 683 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: about enrolling him in regular school here? So he did, 684 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: And where were you at this time? I was a 685 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,520 Speaker 1: freshman in college. So yeah, so I went off to 686 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: college and they abandoned me for Costa Rica. But I 687 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 1: can't blame them because you know I went down for 688 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: vacations and yes, yeah, so, I mean it's truly it's 689 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:23,400 Speaker 1: never too late. No, yeah, no, it's never too late. Everybody. Okay, okay, 690 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:28,399 Speaker 1: And our last cult day comes from m she says, 691 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,360 Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I'm thirty six, and I'm often told that 692 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 1: I'm too intimidating for guys to date me. I have 693 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,200 Speaker 1: a small business which has been going pretty well over 694 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,439 Speaker 1: the years and has given me financial stability and independence, 695 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: and I guess also confidence in my field of work. However, 696 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:46,120 Speaker 1: shortly before the pandemic started, I ended a long term relationship. 697 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: Among other issues we had, he was quite bothered with 698 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,520 Speaker 1: my career and would often let me know directly or 699 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,760 Speaker 1: in a passive aggressive way that he didn't feel needed 700 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,239 Speaker 1: because I didn't require support. As he would often put it, 701 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 1: for him, support meant being a provider. He was right 702 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: about that, as I really didn't need a provider. I 703 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,719 Speaker 1: needed a partner on equal footing. After that relationship ended, 704 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 1: I've dated a few guys, but the issue has reappeared 705 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,839 Speaker 1: time and again. I've noticed guys are put off by 706 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,560 Speaker 1: my career and don't like my independence. I know that 707 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 1: it's their own insecurity, and I don't intend to apologize 708 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: for my success because it's taken a lot of effort 709 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 1: to get here. So my question for you is, how 710 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,719 Speaker 1: do I find guys that will not be insecure like 711 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: that and we'll be willing to take on a relationship 712 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,719 Speaker 1: of equals. I feel like the patriarchy is so deep 713 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 1: rooted and I don't fit the standards guys are used 714 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 1: to and feel comfortable with. So essentially I'm screwed. What's 715 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,759 Speaker 1: your thought on this? Thank you? And I love the 716 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:43,839 Speaker 1: podcast best. From across the Pond? Um hi, um, hi there, Hi, 717 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 1: how are you? I'm really well, thank you. It's lovely 718 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:52,920 Speaker 1: to meet you guys next to me. Where you so 719 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:57,200 Speaker 1: really across the pond? Oh wow, I've never been to Poland, 720 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,880 Speaker 1: Oh you should, well, crack I was really beautiful, So 721 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,919 Speaker 1: that's what I hear. Yeah, I hear, crac Yeah are 722 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,719 Speaker 1: you Polish? Are you American? Oh? Oh god, I thought 723 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 1: you sent it American? Okay. I was like, wait, is 724 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:16,440 Speaker 1: that a compliment them? Well, yeah, no, I understand what 725 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 1: you mean. I've I've experienced that my whole life, you know, 726 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,160 Speaker 1: men being intimidated by me or turned off by me, 727 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,759 Speaker 1: you know, they like I think they do get turned off. 728 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 1: I don't know that there's much you can do about 729 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,359 Speaker 1: it other than try to like own your own self 730 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 1: esteem and your own like, you know, knowing that it's 731 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,759 Speaker 1: not necessary. Obviously you want to find a partner, but 732 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,680 Speaker 1: it's not necessary to find a partner. And as long 733 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,480 Speaker 1: as you have the line of thinking that you have 734 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,520 Speaker 1: to find one, I always find that to be a 735 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,440 Speaker 1: little bit more limiting than being open to the possibility 736 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,279 Speaker 1: that you may not need one, even if that's not 737 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,400 Speaker 1: what you're looking for. It's like it's better just to 738 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,560 Speaker 1: not have a need for that, you know. And I 739 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 1: think once you kind of let go of that need 740 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,920 Speaker 1: to partner up with somebody, I feel like more opportu 741 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,600 Speaker 1: tunities seem to present themselves. Yeah, yeah, I know, I 742 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,520 Speaker 1: get what you're saying. I I also will say I 743 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:10,000 Speaker 1: don't really date that much. And it's sometimes sometimes I 744 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: get the feeling that maybe it's because I'm not very girly, 745 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,720 Speaker 1: you know, like I don't do the whole like betting 746 00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:19,440 Speaker 1: my eyelashes and being like alerty I guess in a 747 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,880 Speaker 1: very girly way, so that sometimes maybe is I don't know. 748 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,480 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not that approachable. Sometimes I'm kind of doubting 749 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: myself as to how I act around guys or although 750 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 1: I do feel confident in approaching them or talking to them, 751 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 1: but I'm not girly and that say yeah, yeah, But 752 00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:38,640 Speaker 1: I don't think that's something that you want to change, 753 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because that's like almost putting 754 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,760 Speaker 1: on an affectation. I've been told that so many times, 755 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 1: like you don't know how to flirt, or you're not yeah, 756 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 1: exactly the same notes that you're talking about. People have 757 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,920 Speaker 1: given me, And I'm like, well, that's not who I am. 758 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,160 Speaker 1: That would be like fake, and I that's the one 759 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,719 Speaker 1: thing that I do not. I can't be fake. I 760 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 1: can't pretend to be something that I'm not. So I 761 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,880 Speaker 1: would stay true to who you are and kind of 762 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,920 Speaker 1: like let go, you know what I mean. Believe that 763 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 1: your person is coming, and it's probably not going to 764 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,440 Speaker 1: be in the time frame that you would desire, but 765 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: to believe that and just let it go and continue 766 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,720 Speaker 1: to be who you are and stand in your real 767 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,480 Speaker 1: power of like being a strong, opinionated woman, and some 768 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,719 Speaker 1: guy is going to love that and love you for 769 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,480 Speaker 1: all of those things and he's not going to want 770 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:28,960 Speaker 1: to change anything about you. Yeah, that's the dream. Yeah, 771 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,720 Speaker 1: and those dreams become a reality for so many people, 772 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,760 Speaker 1: you know, and it can be true for you too. 773 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,160 Speaker 1: It's a matter of just not holding onto this idea 774 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,160 Speaker 1: of something so much and twisting and shaping yourself to 775 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,479 Speaker 1: meet someone else's needs. Like that's unnecessary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 776 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,360 Speaker 1: I know, I know what you mean. Also, that's the 777 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,439 Speaker 1: way I'm telling myself constantly, because I also I don't 778 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: want to be like hung up on the idea of 779 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,000 Speaker 1: trying to find a partner just for the sake of 780 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,800 Speaker 1: finding one that that doesn't work either, So I'm just 781 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,200 Speaker 1: kind of trying to go with the flow. But but 782 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,319 Speaker 1: it is sometimes kind of you know, like it it 783 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,720 Speaker 1: gets into my head like am I doing something wrong 784 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,759 Speaker 1: or is it just the world that it's just you know, 785 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 1: not there for me yet. Yeah, I don't think you're 786 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,959 Speaker 1: doing anything wrong, you know. I mean, honestly, so many 787 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 1: women have this issue, and it's like the world is 788 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,000 Speaker 1: always in a weird place, and we're definitely in a 789 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 1: weird place. People are weird after COVID. Just I think 790 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000 Speaker 1: things like this come to you when when you take 791 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,799 Speaker 1: the pressure off of yourself, and so I think that 792 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: would be your takeaway. Stop putting so much pressure on 793 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 1: the situation and stop second guessing yourself. You know what 794 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,880 Speaker 1: I mean. You have a life, live it, enjoy the 795 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 1: people that are in it, and be open to, you know, 796 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:44,640 Speaker 1: the possibility of meeting somebody in a situation that may 797 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 1: not be the most typical one or you know, just 798 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,200 Speaker 1: keep your eyes and ears open and as long as 799 00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,799 Speaker 1: your heart is open and your mind is open, things 800 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,040 Speaker 1: will come to you. Yeah. That's that's that's hopefully what's 801 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,239 Speaker 1: what's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. And this, you know, 802 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,800 Speaker 1: this idea of like I need to be cutatious or 803 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,920 Speaker 1: I need to be you know, batting my eyelashes. That's 804 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: sort of playing into these gender roles and stereotypes that 805 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 1: are exactly not what you're into, not what you're going after. 806 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: You know. The kinds of guys who will respond to 807 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,600 Speaker 1: that and not just like WHOA, she's so smart, she's 808 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,439 Speaker 1: so fun Like she's so cool to be around. Those 809 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 1: kind of guys are the guys who want to be 810 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,439 Speaker 1: the be the hero and you know, need to be 811 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,840 Speaker 1: supporting you sort of thing. So and I think Chelsea 812 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,040 Speaker 1: said this on the podcast before. But you know, if 813 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 1: if you're not finding the right guy, you're finding these 814 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 1: kinds of guys who feel like they need to be 815 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,480 Speaker 1: in control or they need to have, you know, a 816 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,960 Speaker 1: heightened power dynamic with you in a relationship, then you 817 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 1: just haven't found the right guy yet. Yeah, and it 818 00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:43,880 Speaker 1: might be you know, I don't know. What do you 819 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 1: think it's a little bit of a cultural thing as well. 820 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 1: I don't because I've I've dated people from all over, 821 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: like it was with a guy from Spain, but I 822 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,560 Speaker 1: did the Polish guys, I did the British guy, So 823 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:02,200 Speaker 1: I kind of find the same thing every time. Yeah, 824 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,680 Speaker 1: m hmmmmmm. I mean guys everywhere a little bit like this. 825 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,440 Speaker 1: I mean a lot of guys. Are you on dating 826 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 1: websites and stuff like that? Is that how you do 827 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,960 Speaker 1: the thing? Is that I hate the dating websites or 828 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: apps or I don't. I don't know. I just I 829 00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,719 Speaker 1: don't find myself in you know, like just putting a 830 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,400 Speaker 1: picture and saying yeah, hi, that's just me. I don't know, 831 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,360 Speaker 1: I don't That's not how I like to meet people. 832 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,399 Speaker 1: So you got guys to like, um, acquaintances of like 833 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,680 Speaker 1: or like former co workers or like just people that 834 00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 1: I've hung out with, and then I kind of felt 835 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,440 Speaker 1: the connection. So that's kind of my style of dating. 836 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,319 Speaker 1: And but yeah, maybe the dating apps or the next 837 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,640 Speaker 1: thing to explore, I don't know. And how old are you? 838 00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,080 Speaker 1: I just turned forty seven, okay, And so you've been 839 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,799 Speaker 1: in a few long term relationships. Well, it was the 840 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,640 Speaker 1: one like really long term one really, and then I 841 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,840 Speaker 1: just dated for like maybe several months, but not not 842 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,880 Speaker 1: too seriously. Like the one serious was the one that 843 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:03,760 Speaker 1: ended when COVID started. So yeah, mm hmmmm mmmm, Okay, 844 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,040 Speaker 1: Well that's good. I think you're gonna be just fine, 845 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,240 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think it's just like relax. 846 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,200 Speaker 1: Like people get a little bit like, yeah, they get 847 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: a little bit of anxiety related to dating into meeting 848 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,160 Speaker 1: the right person and all of that, and it's just 849 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,799 Speaker 1: too much pressure to put yourself under earth and it 850 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,799 Speaker 1: doesn't yield good results anyway. You know, you get into 851 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,160 Speaker 1: a situation where you almost start to feel a little 852 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,959 Speaker 1: bit desperate, and you don't want to feel that way. 853 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,440 Speaker 1: You know, you want to give off the good vibes, 854 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,600 Speaker 1: not the desperate vibes and you're not desperate, so you know, 855 00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:34,520 Speaker 1: you don't have to feel that way in any way, 856 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 1: shape or form. Yeah. I think it's also like my family. 857 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,200 Speaker 1: My parents never hint on the fact that I don't 858 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,120 Speaker 1: have a partner, but then like the aunts and uncle, 859 00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,480 Speaker 1: uncles and my cousins are sometimes like, why are you 860 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 1: going to bring someone home like for Christmas or something, 861 00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, you know, if there's someone to 862 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,680 Speaker 1: bring the chore, but you know, yeah, I wouldn't worry 863 00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 1: about anything that anybody else says anyway, So just ignore that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 864 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,359 Speaker 1: that's what that's not doing. Yeah. I do think it's 865 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,879 Speaker 1: a little bit of a numbers game, right, The more 866 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,279 Speaker 1: people you meet, the more likelihood that you're going to 867 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,000 Speaker 1: meet the one. Dating apps, I don't have a lot 868 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:13,319 Speaker 1: of personal experience with them, but one of the best 869 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,560 Speaker 1: stories that I have heard my sister in law, my 870 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,960 Speaker 1: now sister in law, she came back from visiting her 871 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,160 Speaker 1: cousins in Ireland and they all were like, you're about 872 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,560 Speaker 1: to turn thirty, you know, you don't have a man, 873 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,000 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and she was so pissed at them 874 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 1: that she went like signed up for a dating app, 875 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,080 Speaker 1: and she just decided to go on every first date. 876 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,480 Speaker 1: So she this was my favorite thing that she did. 877 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:37,840 Speaker 1: She had three date outfits. She had a first date outfit, 878 00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 1: a second date outfit, and a third date outfit, so 879 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,440 Speaker 1: that she would not be repeating the same outfits for 880 00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:45,000 Speaker 1: like a first and a second date with a guy. 881 00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:48,759 Speaker 1: She said, by the time she met her now husband 882 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,000 Speaker 1: my brother in law, her first date outfit was rags. 883 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,719 Speaker 1: It was just like absolutely ragged. But she was like, 884 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,719 Speaker 1: I went out on lunch dates, I went on on 885 00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,080 Speaker 1: dinner dates, sometimes two in a day. But she just 886 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,680 Speaker 1: made it her job for I think it was about 887 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,120 Speaker 1: six months and she met the guy. You know, they 888 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,279 Speaker 1: both were like, wait, why are you single? Oh my gosh, 889 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,759 Speaker 1: I can't believe you're still single, Like you're still out there. 890 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,640 Speaker 1: It's like that person who is your wonderful match is 891 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:16,080 Speaker 1: definitely out there. Yeah wow, Yeah, that's that's very encouraging. 892 00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,520 Speaker 1: Whether it's on apps or whether it's going and finding 893 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,120 Speaker 1: a meet up group, joining some group that likes to 894 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,440 Speaker 1: go to museums, whatever it is that might yield an 895 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 1: older crowd, but you know, different groups where you can 896 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,600 Speaker 1: meet people. I think make it a numbers game and 897 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,520 Speaker 1: you will find the one. Yeah, thank you guys. That's 898 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,120 Speaker 1: like she really helps look wonderful. Well, let us know 899 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,080 Speaker 1: how it goes. Okay, Marta, thank you so much. Right 900 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:44,920 Speaker 1: bye bye, Marta. Think here and thank you guys. Okay, well, Chelsea, 901 00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:46,839 Speaker 1: with that, I think we have to take another break 902 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:53,200 Speaker 1: and we'll come back. We will be right back. And 903 00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:58,400 Speaker 1: we're back. And we're back. We're back. We're back from Marca. Everybody, 904 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:04,480 Speaker 1: We're in Maorca. We're back in my worka. We thought 905 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 1: about opening the windows so you could hear the waves. 906 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,200 Speaker 1: I can hear the waves outside. It feels like we 907 00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:12,960 Speaker 1: can hear them, so maybe that our listeners can also 908 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,280 Speaker 1: hear them. I know. Well, I have a quick update 909 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,400 Speaker 1: from one of our recent callers, Chelsea. I'm pretty excited 910 00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,000 Speaker 1: to tell you this. I received an Instagram d M 911 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,799 Speaker 1: from a listener that says, Hi, Katherine. A bit of 912 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:30,880 Speaker 1: an atypical request. He says, just listen to today's episode. 913 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,960 Speaker 1: Noah the Queer Historian sounds like a true dream of 914 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,600 Speaker 1: a man. I'm a sex positive gay man with a 915 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,560 Speaker 1: love of nerd culture and luckily, a kinky top for 916 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,400 Speaker 1: his kinky bottom needs. Aside from all that, Noah's intellect 917 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,800 Speaker 1: really stood out to me. Any chance you can pass 918 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,759 Speaker 1: my Instagram onto him? I know Matchmaker isn't part of 919 00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,239 Speaker 1: your producing responsibilities, but I figured there are appropriate rules 920 00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,120 Speaker 1: around privacy for those who call in. Assuming the only 921 00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,440 Speaker 1: way we could connect is if he checks out my socials, 922 00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,160 Speaker 1: please feel free to pass them along. Thanks. Kath a 923 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,799 Speaker 1: huge fan of the podcast. So I responded, I let 924 00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:08,320 Speaker 1: him know that I would pass on his socials and 925 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,560 Speaker 1: and Noah said, and this was from the Ross episode, 926 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,120 Speaker 1: by the way, for those of you who want to 927 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,440 Speaker 1: go check this out, he said, Thanks Catherine, I appreciate 928 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,960 Speaker 1: it he reached out to me. Also, turns out queer 929 00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:22,279 Speaker 1: historian plus Noah plus Minneapolis narrows the search. If any 930 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:25,080 Speaker 1: more reach out fingers crossed, feel free to send them 931 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,399 Speaker 1: to my instad ms at Liberal Arts Major. I'm happy 932 00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,520 Speaker 1: to receive my own suitors instead of you dealing with them. 933 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,439 Speaker 1: So you know what, we might have a love connection, Chelsea. Well, 934 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,000 Speaker 1: you'd better give out your Instagram handle to all of 935 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,279 Speaker 1: our listeners who are trying to hook up after they 936 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,359 Speaker 1: hear an episode. You can find me at cath Elizabeth 937 00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:46,160 Speaker 1: on Instagram and yeah, let me know if you if 938 00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,200 Speaker 1: you need to be hooked up with a lovely caller 939 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:53,160 Speaker 1: who's intellect a caller anything. Really. I love that he 940 00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,160 Speaker 1: was asking, like, how do I meet a guy to 941 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,080 Speaker 1: even start a long distance relationship because I'm open to that. 942 00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:03,319 Speaker 1: Well apparently right into a podcast, right right, that'd be 943 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 1: great if they hooked up. I know. I just like, 944 00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,960 Speaker 1: I really need to be invited to this wedding to 945 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,840 Speaker 1: ask for an update. Also as please let us know 946 00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,640 Speaker 1: how it goes. I know they are in different cities, 947 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,520 Speaker 1: so you know when and if that visit happens. Please 948 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,239 Speaker 1: let us the kinky bottom was in Minneapolis? Where was 949 00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,279 Speaker 1: the other guy from other guys from I want to 950 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:24,600 Speaker 1: say Colorado. I think he just moved, but you know what, 951 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,880 Speaker 1: planes happen, Planes exist, he can, he can move to 952 00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,200 Speaker 1: Minneapolis and game of one guy that he hasn't met 953 00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:34,160 Speaker 1: in Minneapolis. That was his big complaint. Hopefully Colorado needs 954 00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,360 Speaker 1: some queer art historians, so I keep saying art. I 955 00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:43,200 Speaker 1: don't think I was part of some queer historians que Okay, Well, 956 00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,680 Speaker 1: our wrap up is that we are headed back to 957 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,279 Speaker 1: Undos Estados in a few short days. We're gonna go 958 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,440 Speaker 1: get you some chat lag. Yeah, we're gonna go. I 959 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,960 Speaker 1: have yeah ordering up some jat LAG and I'll see 960 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:58,360 Speaker 1: everybody at my shows in the fall. Amazing. Thanks Chelsea, 961 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,399 Speaker 1: and thanks for inviting me to the beautiful place. Oh 962 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,239 Speaker 1: my god, my pleasure. All right, we'll see you guys 963 00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:07,360 Speaker 1: next time. Bye bye. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, 964 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:11,319 Speaker 1: just send us an email at Dear Chelsea project at 965 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,759 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of I 966 00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:19,480 Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stump, produced by Catherine Law, 967 00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,960 Speaker 1: and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.