Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Speaker 1: What are the cases I want to hear from you?
Speaker 1: Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're
Speaker 1: suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help
Speaker 1: from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and
Speaker 1: leave your question at the sound of.
Speaker 2: The beat, Hey, Cheeky's, how are you? I just recently
Speaker 2: found out that my relationship of five years that my
Speaker 2: boyfriend cheated on me.
Speaker 3: It's been a roller.
Speaker 2: Coaster of emotions, up and down, lots of feelings. He
Speaker 2: has been begging and begging, saying that he's sorry, he
Speaker 2: made a mistake, and you know, was willing to take
Speaker 2: couple's therapy. He's willing to do whatever it takes for
Speaker 2: us to make it work. We have built so much
Speaker 2: together and had so much future plans. Would you recommend
Speaker 2: I know you are really big on couple's therapy. Do
Speaker 2: you think that would help? Your advice would be very helpful.
Speaker 2: I don't have an older sister, so this is why
Speaker 2: I'm coming to you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, my heart anonymous listener, my wonderful
Speaker 1: anonymous listener. Oh okay, So, as a big sister, what
Speaker 1: would I tell my little sister? Oh, cheating personally is
Speaker 1: just ugly, and I'm sorry that you're going through that.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I could just I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1: I mean I could because I've been there. That feeling
Speaker 1: just sucks so bad. So I'm sending you a big, big,
Speaker 1: loving hug because again, I know the pain you're going through.
Speaker 1: I do think that forgiving someone is important, especially if
Speaker 1: he realizes and recognizes that he did wrong. It's five
Speaker 1: years and you guys have built a lot together. What
Speaker 1: would I do? Oh, my gosh, God forbid, God forbid
Speaker 1: that I'm ever in that situation, because oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: But okay, I do believe in couple's therapy. I do
Speaker 1: believe that certain situations happen for us to learn to grow,
Speaker 1: to maybe even sometimes get closer to our partner. It
Speaker 1: strengthens the relationship. My heart is telling you to go
Speaker 1: ahead and give it another shot on your terms, go
Speaker 1: to couple's therapy. If he's willing to do it. I
Speaker 1: don't know the details. I don't know if it was
Speaker 1: a one time thing, if it was a relationship. All
Speaker 1: of that matters to me to be able to give
Speaker 1: you the best advice. But I feel if he's willing
Speaker 1: and he recognizes and he accepts that he was wrong,
Speaker 1: and he's willing to do anything and everything to make
Speaker 1: you happy, go with what you feel. If you love
Speaker 1: this person, give it another shot. If it happens again,
Speaker 1: then you know you're done, and you're done forever. Try
Speaker 1: the couple's therapy. Try to figure out why this happened,
Speaker 1: where it stems from, and you'll figure that out in
Speaker 1: couple's therapy, and you'll also figure out are we compatible?
Speaker 1: Is this really going to work? I think you'll feel
Speaker 1: better giving it that shot versus just walking away, because
Speaker 1: this can make your relationship stronger and better. It can,
Speaker 1: But that's that's I don't know. That's it's tough. It's
Speaker 1: tough because the strong woman in me is like f that.
Speaker 1: But then also we also have to be able to
Speaker 1: just adjust. You know. So I'm hoping that my advice helps,
Speaker 1: but my heart tells me to tell you to give
Speaker 1: it a little shot. Give it a shot, and a
Speaker 1: couple therapy will help you figure out a lot of
Speaker 1: things about yourself, about him, about your relationship. Well, she
Speaker 1: knew the best. Okay, guys, Our next question comes from.
Speaker 4: Z High Tikis. I can't believe I'm calling, but oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, I really need your advice. My sister in
Speaker 4: law just moved in right next door. We rent from
Speaker 4: their grandma, and I've had an issue with it since
Speaker 4: the beginning when I knew that she was going to
Speaker 4: move in because she has alcohol use problems and I
Speaker 4: have two babies right next store. And there was an
Speaker 4: incident about a year ago where she picked up my
Speaker 4: son and she fell with him in his arms and
Speaker 4: his little face hit the concrete while she was drunk.
Speaker 4: And in that moment I was so furious, but couldn't
Speaker 4: do much because I was pregnant with our second baby.
Speaker 4: Fast forward, you know years later, you know, things have
Speaker 4: continued to happen. Nobody's really doing much. Everyone's just kind
Speaker 4: of turning a blind eye. I keep binding my tongue,
Speaker 4: but two weeks ago, two weeks into her moving, and
Speaker 4: she got into a big fight with my mother in
Speaker 4: law again. She was drunk. My mother in law is
Speaker 4: very joy vibes, does not fuck around, so you know,
Speaker 4: but she's very heartbroken over the situation. And I'm just
Speaker 4: really tired of all the problems. Does anyone else have
Speaker 4: problegmatic sister in laws?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: What do we do?
Speaker 1: What do you guys do?
Speaker 4: What do you suggest? I just can't anymore. It's very frustrating.
Speaker 4: And she lives right next door to me.
Speaker 1: Now, ooh ze, this is tough because what apparently everyone
Speaker 1: seems like everyone feels the same. You know, your mother
Speaker 1: in law, damn someone within. It's a disease. Alcoholism is
Speaker 1: a disease, so she definitely needs help. I think you
Speaker 1: guys need to have an intervention as a family, as
Speaker 1: a whole. Let her know how you guys are feeling.
Speaker 1: Obviously when she's sober. Don't do this while she's drunk.
Speaker 1: But you guys need to have a family intervention. Like, dude,
Speaker 1: you can't continue to do this, and if you continue
Speaker 1: to live your life this way, then you need to
Speaker 1: move out. It would be a lot more inconvenient for
Speaker 1: all of you to get up and move, you know,
Speaker 1: but I think for sure it's the easiest. The easiest
Speaker 1: thing would be for her to move out. But I
Speaker 1: think you guys need to speak to her from the
Speaker 1: depths of your heart and you're worries and your concerns,
Speaker 1: all of you everyone, because this can cause a lot
Speaker 1: of issues. I mean, you do have children. I mean,
Speaker 1: God forbids something horrible happens. But I do think the
Speaker 1: first thing here is having a conversation definitely as a
Speaker 1: family and letting her know, you know, you need to
Speaker 1: get your shit together, because if not, then you need
Speaker 1: to move out and you need help. She needs you.
Speaker 1: Guys have to help her, give her the option of hey,
Speaker 1: there's you know AA for instance, that will definitely hopefully
Speaker 1: she has to be willing. But you guys need to
Speaker 1: have this conversation now because it's not fair for you
Speaker 1: to hold this in and you're unhappy where you live,
Speaker 1: like that should be the city. You should feel safest
Speaker 1: where you live. You know, that's your sacred place, So
Speaker 1: damn for sure, just talk to her. Please keep me updated.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that the conversation and everyone telling her how
Speaker 1: she feels and it's not just one person does something
Speaker 1: positive and she doesn't feel attacked. But if you guys
Speaker 1: say it with life and the concern, maybe it'll reach
Speaker 1: her heart. I'm hoping, but keep me updated because I
Speaker 1: do want to know. Hopefully she comes to her senses
Speaker 1: because it's not a good way to live. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: Our last question comes from Elvida.
Speaker 3: Hi, Cheeky's hope you're doing good. I recently became a
Speaker 3: huge fan of your podcast in music, so sorry, I'm
Speaker 3: a little late to the game. I'm thirty three, the
Speaker 3: youngest of five siblings. My parents are from Halisco, Mexico,
Speaker 3: and had me in their forties. I've raised my two
Speaker 3: nieces and my nephews since I was about eleven years old,
Speaker 3: so I'm like a second mom to them, and I've
Speaker 3: also helped take care of my sister, who has special
Speaker 3: needs ever since I can remember, so you can imagine
Speaker 3: I've always been the go to person, which is exhausting.
Speaker 3: My husband and I have been together from almost five years,
Speaker 3: with the first two years struggling with him emotionally cheating
Speaker 3: on me. I thought we overcame that, but earlier this
Speaker 3: year I caught him flirting with someone else again. So
Speaker 3: I struggle with a lot of anxiety, high blood pressure,
Speaker 3: and a lot of insecurity, especially after gaining almost one
Speaker 3: hundred pounds. I don't really have any close friends to
Speaker 3: talk to, and I don't sing or dance anymore, which
Speaker 3: is what I miss. My question to you is how
Speaker 3: do you find motivation when everything feels so heavy? Or
Speaker 3: what advice can you give me as I could pick
Speaker 3: me up because I've just been feeling so down lately.
Speaker 3: Thank you for being an inspiration and I'm sending you
Speaker 3: all my love.
Speaker 1: Elvira, thank you so much. Welcome to the family. We
Speaker 1: love having you. I'm so happy that you are a
Speaker 1: new listener, not only to my podcast but to my music.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. My heart hurts. My heart hurts
Speaker 1: because he deserves so much better. And I think that
Speaker 1: a lot of this anxiety and what you're feeling is
Speaker 1: because the closest person to you, your partner, has done
Speaker 1: this to you. And it's okay. I just told someone
Speaker 1: in the same episode forgiveness. I believe in forgiving. I
Speaker 1: believe that people can change, especially if they're very sorry.
Speaker 1: You already forgave him and he continues to do it.
Speaker 1: That tells me he's not going to change, and if
Speaker 1: he changes, it's not going to be for you, it's
Speaker 1: going to be for the next person, because he had
Speaker 1: to lose you in order to realize the man that
Speaker 1: he needs to be. And I used to think that
Speaker 1: I need to stay with this person who's not necessarily
Speaker 1: treating me the way that I deserve and that I want.
Speaker 1: But because I've already invested so much time and so
Speaker 1: much in this relationship, that why am I going to
Speaker 1: build him up and mold him so that another girl
Speaker 1: can have him? And I'd stay in these toxic relationships
Speaker 1: because of that, and because I was comfortable, and that's
Speaker 1: not a way to live. And I feel, Elvidra, that
Speaker 1: you are settling to settle, you're settling for less. And
Speaker 1: I think, in a way, without you even knowing subconsciously,
Speaker 1: if you have gained weight, that's what happened to me.
Speaker 1: I gained so much weight because I was holding onto
Speaker 1: so much. I was so sad. I was not happy
Speaker 1: in my relationship. This is the closest person, this is
Speaker 1: the person that you're intimate with. And when you're not
Speaker 1: happy and you feel like you're suppressing so many things.
Speaker 1: You gain weight. It's a real thing. It's real, and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that the answer is to leave him,
Speaker 1: but something has to change, especially if you lost your
Speaker 1: motivation to sing and to dance. Those are the things
Speaker 1: that make you happy and make you feel alive. I
Speaker 1: just feel like now that I know what it is
Speaker 1: to be in with someone that God willing it lasts forever.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm taking it day by day. I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying it day by day, but I know the difference
Speaker 1: now of having someone by my side that makes me
Speaker 1: want to do all the things that make me happy
Speaker 1: and make me I want to take care of myself
Speaker 1: first of all, for myself. I had to figure this
Speaker 1: out being by myself and healing myself before I met
Speaker 1: Emilia my husband now, but I had to like reconnect
Speaker 1: with myself. And I feel like you're disconnected and I
Speaker 1: feel like you need especially with you being you know,
Speaker 1: like you said, you've taken care of your nieces and nephews,
Speaker 1: and you're the youngest, and everyone comes to you like
Speaker 1: you need to have someone by your side that allows
Speaker 1: you to just be soft, to be able to just
Speaker 1: let your guards down. And to be taken care of,
Speaker 1: especially emotionally whether he's having sex with these girls or
Speaker 1: not emotionally, like he's not like he's cheating. He's cheating,
Speaker 1: and you need to find the strength within yourself to
Speaker 1: make a change. And if you were my sister, I
Speaker 1: tell you, I think it's time to let go of
Speaker 1: that person because he's not valuing you and it's bleeding
Speaker 1: into everything else in your life. Because we all need that,
Speaker 1: especially us that we have grown up faster than we should.
Speaker 1: We had to mature like we had to be responsible
Speaker 1: at a young age for other people. We need that
Speaker 1: more than anyone to have a partner that's gonna let
Speaker 1: us lean on them and feel safe. And I don't
Speaker 1: think he's your safe place. And that's what my heart felt.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to listen to me, but this
Speaker 1: is my advice. You can take it or leave it.
Speaker 1: It's my opinion. But I think if you sit down
Speaker 1: and you're honest with yourself, it's going to be a
Speaker 1: very hard decision, but it's gonna be something that's going
Speaker 1: to liberate you, allow you to be who you are
Speaker 1: meant to be in this world. Because if he can
Speaker 1: he's done it you forgave him, he keeps doing it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he has it in him to
Speaker 1: change completely. Something to think about. I'm sorry, Vidraf, that's
Speaker 1: not what you wanted to hear, but I just need
Speaker 1: to be honest, and again, thank you for being a listener,
Speaker 1: and hopefully you can update us all of you everyone.
Speaker 1: I thank you guys so much for trusting me enough
Speaker 1: to ask me questions. And I promise that my advice
Speaker 1: comes from my heart and it's exactly what I would
Speaker 1: tell a friend or a sibling. But again, it's just
Speaker 1: my opinion, but I hope that it helps in one
Speaker 1: way or another. And if you have a question, you
Speaker 1: can go ahead and leave your question at speakpipe dot com,
Speaker 1: slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. I love you guys very
Speaker 1: much and I will catch you on the next episode
Speaker 1: of Dear Cheekies. This is a production of iHeartRadio and
Speaker 1: Mike Withtura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Mike
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