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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

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Speaker 1: What are the cases I want to hear from you?

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Speaker 1: Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're

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Speaker 1: suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help

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Speaker 1: from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and

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Speaker 1: leave your question at the sound of.

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Speaker 2: The beat, Hey, Cheeky's, how are you? I just recently

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Speaker 2: found out that my relationship of five years that my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend cheated on me.

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Speaker 3: It's been a roller.

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Speaker 2: Coaster of emotions, up and down, lots of feelings. He

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Speaker 2: has been begging and begging, saying that he's sorry, he

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Speaker 2: made a mistake, and you know, was willing to take

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Speaker 2: couple's therapy. He's willing to do whatever it takes for

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Speaker 2: us to make it work. We have built so much

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Speaker 2: together and had so much future plans. Would you recommend

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Speaker 2: I know you are really big on couple's therapy. Do

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Speaker 2: you think that would help? Your advice would be very helpful.

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Speaker 2: I don't have an older sister, so this is why

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Speaker 2: I'm coming to you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, my heart anonymous listener, my wonderful

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Speaker 1: anonymous listener. Oh okay, So, as a big sister, what

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Speaker 1: would I tell my little sister? Oh, cheating personally is

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Speaker 1: just ugly, and I'm sorry that you're going through that.

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I could just I can't even imagine.

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Speaker 1: I mean I could because I've been there. That feeling

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Speaker 1: just sucks so bad. So I'm sending you a big, big,

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Speaker 1: loving hug because again, I know the pain you're going through.

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Speaker 1: I do think that forgiving someone is important, especially if

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Speaker 1: he realizes and recognizes that he did wrong. It's five

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Speaker 1: years and you guys have built a lot together. What

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Speaker 1: would I do? Oh, my gosh, God forbid, God forbid

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Speaker 1: that I'm ever in that situation, because oh, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: But okay, I do believe in couple's therapy. I do

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Speaker 1: believe that certain situations happen for us to learn to grow,

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Speaker 1: to maybe even sometimes get closer to our partner. It

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Speaker 1: strengthens the relationship. My heart is telling you to go

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Speaker 1: ahead and give it another shot on your terms, go

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Speaker 1: to couple's therapy. If he's willing to do it. I

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Speaker 1: don't know the details. I don't know if it was

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Speaker 1: a one time thing, if it was a relationship. All

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Speaker 1: of that matters to me to be able to give

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Speaker 1: you the best advice. But I feel if he's willing

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Speaker 1: and he recognizes and he accepts that he was wrong,

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Speaker 1: and he's willing to do anything and everything to make

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Speaker 1: you happy, go with what you feel. If you love

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Speaker 1: this person, give it another shot. If it happens again,

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Speaker 1: then you know you're done, and you're done forever. Try

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Speaker 1: the couple's therapy. Try to figure out why this happened,

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Speaker 1: where it stems from, and you'll figure that out in

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Speaker 1: couple's therapy, and you'll also figure out are we compatible?

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Speaker 1: Is this really going to work? I think you'll feel

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Speaker 1: better giving it that shot versus just walking away, because

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Speaker 1: this can make your relationship stronger and better. It can,

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Speaker 1: But that's that's I don't know. That's it's tough. It's

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Speaker 1: tough because the strong woman in me is like f that.

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Speaker 1: But then also we also have to be able to

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Speaker 1: just adjust. You know. So I'm hoping that my advice helps,

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Speaker 1: but my heart tells me to tell you to give

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Speaker 1: it a little shot. Give it a shot, and a

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Speaker 1: couple therapy will help you figure out a lot of

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Speaker 1: things about yourself, about him, about your relationship. Well, she

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Speaker 1: knew the best. Okay, guys, Our next question comes from.

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Speaker 4: Z High Tikis. I can't believe I'm calling, but oh

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Speaker 4: my gosh, I really need your advice. My sister in

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Speaker 4: law just moved in right next door. We rent from

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Speaker 4: their grandma, and I've had an issue with it since

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Speaker 4: the beginning when I knew that she was going to

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Speaker 4: move in because she has alcohol use problems and I

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Speaker 4: have two babies right next store. And there was an

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Speaker 4: incident about a year ago where she picked up my

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Speaker 4: son and she fell with him in his arms and

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Speaker 4: his little face hit the concrete while she was drunk.

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Speaker 4: And in that moment I was so furious, but couldn't

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Speaker 4: do much because I was pregnant with our second baby.

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Speaker 4: Fast forward, you know years later, you know, things have

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Speaker 4: continued to happen. Nobody's really doing much. Everyone's just kind

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Speaker 4: of turning a blind eye. I keep binding my tongue,

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Speaker 4: but two weeks ago, two weeks into her moving, and

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Speaker 4: she got into a big fight with my mother in

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Speaker 4: law again. She was drunk. My mother in law is

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Speaker 4: very joy vibes, does not fuck around, so you know,

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Speaker 4: but she's very heartbroken over the situation. And I'm just

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Speaker 4: really tired of all the problems. Does anyone else have

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Speaker 4: problegmatic sister in laws?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 4: What do we do?

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Speaker 1: What do you guys do?

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Speaker 4: What do you suggest? I just can't anymore. It's very frustrating.

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Speaker 4: And she lives right next door to me.

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Speaker 1: Now, ooh ze, this is tough because what apparently everyone

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Speaker 1: seems like everyone feels the same. You know, your mother

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Speaker 1: in law, damn someone within. It's a disease. Alcoholism is

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Speaker 1: a disease, so she definitely needs help. I think you

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Speaker 1: guys need to have an intervention as a family, as

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Speaker 1: a whole. Let her know how you guys are feeling.

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Speaker 1: Obviously when she's sober. Don't do this while she's drunk.

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Speaker 1: But you guys need to have a family intervention. Like, dude,

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Speaker 1: you can't continue to do this, and if you continue

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Speaker 1: to live your life this way, then you need to

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Speaker 1: move out. It would be a lot more inconvenient for

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Speaker 1: all of you to get up and move, you know,

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Speaker 1: but I think for sure it's the easiest. The easiest

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Speaker 1: thing would be for her to move out. But I

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Speaker 1: think you guys need to speak to her from the

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Speaker 1: depths of your heart and you're worries and your concerns,

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Speaker 1: all of you everyone, because this can cause a lot

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Speaker 1: of issues. I mean, you do have children. I mean,

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Speaker 1: God forbids something horrible happens. But I do think the

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Speaker 1: first thing here is having a conversation definitely as a

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Speaker 1: family and letting her know, you know, you need to

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Speaker 1: get your shit together, because if not, then you need

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Speaker 1: to move out and you need help. She needs you.

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Speaker 1: Guys have to help her, give her the option of hey,

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Speaker 1: there's you know AA for instance, that will definitely hopefully

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Speaker 1: she has to be willing. But you guys need to

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Speaker 1: have this conversation now because it's not fair for you

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Speaker 1: to hold this in and you're unhappy where you live,

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Speaker 1: like that should be the city. You should feel safest

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Speaker 1: where you live. You know, that's your sacred place, So

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Speaker 1: damn for sure, just talk to her. Please keep me updated.

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that the conversation and everyone telling her how

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Speaker 1: she feels and it's not just one person does something

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Speaker 1: positive and she doesn't feel attacked. But if you guys

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Speaker 1: say it with life and the concern, maybe it'll reach

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Speaker 1: her heart. I'm hoping, but keep me updated because I

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Speaker 1: do want to know. Hopefully she comes to her senses

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Speaker 1: because it's not a good way to live. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: Our last question comes from Elvida.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Cheeky's hope you're doing good. I recently became a

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Speaker 3: huge fan of your podcast in music, so sorry, I'm

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Speaker 3: a little late to the game. I'm thirty three, the

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Speaker 3: youngest of five siblings. My parents are from Halisco, Mexico,

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Speaker 3: and had me in their forties. I've raised my two

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Speaker 3: nieces and my nephews since I was about eleven years old,

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Speaker 3: so I'm like a second mom to them, and I've

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Speaker 3: also helped take care of my sister, who has special

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Speaker 3: needs ever since I can remember, so you can imagine

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Speaker 3: I've always been the go to person, which is exhausting.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I have been together from almost five years,

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Speaker 3: with the first two years struggling with him emotionally cheating

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Speaker 3: on me. I thought we overcame that, but earlier this

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Speaker 3: year I caught him flirting with someone else again. So

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Speaker 3: I struggle with a lot of anxiety, high blood pressure,

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Speaker 3: and a lot of insecurity, especially after gaining almost one

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Speaker 3: hundred pounds. I don't really have any close friends to

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Speaker 3: talk to, and I don't sing or dance anymore, which

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Speaker 3: is what I miss. My question to you is how

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Speaker 3: do you find motivation when everything feels so heavy? Or

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Speaker 3: what advice can you give me as I could pick

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Speaker 3: me up because I've just been feeling so down lately.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for being an inspiration and I'm sending you

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Speaker 3: all my love.

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Speaker 1: Elvira, thank you so much. Welcome to the family. We

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Speaker 1: love having you. I'm so happy that you are a

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Speaker 1: new listener, not only to my podcast but to my music.

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Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. My heart hurts. My heart hurts

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Speaker 1: because he deserves so much better. And I think that

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Speaker 1: a lot of this anxiety and what you're feeling is

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Speaker 1: because the closest person to you, your partner, has done

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Speaker 1: this to you. And it's okay. I just told someone

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Speaker 1: in the same episode forgiveness. I believe in forgiving. I

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Speaker 1: believe that people can change, especially if they're very sorry.

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Speaker 1: You already forgave him and he continues to do it.

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Speaker 1: That tells me he's not going to change, and if

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Speaker 1: he changes, it's not going to be for you, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be for the next person, because he had

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Speaker 1: to lose you in order to realize the man that

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Speaker 1: he needs to be. And I used to think that

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Speaker 1: I need to stay with this person who's not necessarily

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Speaker 1: treating me the way that I deserve and that I want.

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Speaker 1: But because I've already invested so much time and so

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Speaker 1: much in this relationship, that why am I going to

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Speaker 1: build him up and mold him so that another girl

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Speaker 1: can have him? And I'd stay in these toxic relationships

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Speaker 1: because of that, and because I was comfortable, and that's

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Speaker 1: not a way to live. And I feel, Elvidra, that

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Speaker 1: you are settling to settle, you're settling for less. And

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Speaker 1: I think, in a way, without you even knowing subconsciously,

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Speaker 1: if you have gained weight, that's what happened to me.

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Speaker 1: I gained so much weight because I was holding onto

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Speaker 1: so much. I was so sad. I was not happy

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Speaker 1: in my relationship. This is the closest person, this is

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Speaker 1: the person that you're intimate with. And when you're not

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Speaker 1: happy and you feel like you're suppressing so many things.

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Speaker 1: You gain weight. It's a real thing. It's real, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying that the answer is to leave him,

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Speaker 1: but something has to change, especially if you lost your

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Speaker 1: motivation to sing and to dance. Those are the things

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Speaker 1: that make you happy and make you feel alive. I

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Speaker 1: just feel like now that I know what it is

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Speaker 1: to be in with someone that God willing it lasts forever.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm taking it day by day. I'm

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Speaker 1: enjoying it day by day, but I know the difference

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Speaker 1: now of having someone by my side that makes me

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Speaker 1: want to do all the things that make me happy

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Speaker 1: and make me I want to take care of myself

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Speaker 1: first of all, for myself. I had to figure this

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Speaker 1: out being by myself and healing myself before I met

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Speaker 1: Emilia my husband now, but I had to like reconnect

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Speaker 1: with myself. And I feel like you're disconnected and I

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Speaker 1: feel like you need especially with you being you know,

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Speaker 1: like you said, you've taken care of your nieces and nephews,

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Speaker 1: and you're the youngest, and everyone comes to you like

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Speaker 1: you need to have someone by your side that allows

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Speaker 1: you to just be soft, to be able to just

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Speaker 1: let your guards down. And to be taken care of,

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Speaker 1: especially emotionally whether he's having sex with these girls or

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Speaker 1: not emotionally, like he's not like he's cheating. He's cheating,

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Speaker 1: and you need to find the strength within yourself to

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Speaker 1: make a change. And if you were my sister, I

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Speaker 1: tell you, I think it's time to let go of

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Speaker 1: that person because he's not valuing you and it's bleeding

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Speaker 1: into everything else in your life. Because we all need that,

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Speaker 1: especially us that we have grown up faster than we should.

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Speaker 1: We had to mature like we had to be responsible

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Speaker 1: at a young age for other people. We need that

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Speaker 1: more than anyone to have a partner that's gonna let

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Speaker 1: us lean on them and feel safe. And I don't

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Speaker 1: think he's your safe place. And that's what my heart felt.

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Speaker 1: And you don't have to listen to me, but this

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Speaker 1: is my advice. You can take it or leave it.

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Speaker 1: It's my opinion. But I think if you sit down

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Speaker 1: and you're honest with yourself, it's going to be a

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Speaker 1: very hard decision, but it's gonna be something that's going

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Speaker 1: to liberate you, allow you to be who you are

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Speaker 1: meant to be in this world. Because if he can

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Speaker 1: he's done it you forgave him, he keeps doing it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he has it in him to

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Speaker 1: change completely. Something to think about. I'm sorry, Vidraf, that's

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Speaker 1: not what you wanted to hear, but I just need

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Speaker 1: to be honest, and again, thank you for being a listener,

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Speaker 1: and hopefully you can update us all of you everyone.

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Speaker 1: I thank you guys so much for trusting me enough

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Speaker 1: to ask me questions. And I promise that my advice

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Speaker 1: comes from my heart and it's exactly what I would

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Speaker 1: tell a friend or a sibling. But again, it's just

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Speaker 1: my opinion, but I hope that it helps in one

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Speaker 1: way or another. And if you have a question, you

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Speaker 1: can go ahead and leave your question at speakpipe dot com,

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Speaker 1: slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. I love you guys very

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Speaker 1: much and I will catch you on the next episode

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Speaker 1: of Dear Cheekies. This is a production of iHeartRadio and

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Speaker 1: Mike Withtura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Mike

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Speaker 1: Wintura Podcasts and follow me Chippy's That's c h I

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Speaker 1: q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

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Speaker 1: favorite shows,