WEBVTT - Matthew Perry: The One Where He Dies 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:11.360 Disgraceland is a production of Double Elvis. This is a 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:14.640 story about Matthew Perry, one of the most beloved television 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.079 actors of all time, from one of the most celebrated 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:21.759 television shows of all time, Friends. But this is also 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:27.280 a story about addiction and purpose, about million dollar paydays 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:31.400 every week and about nine million dollars spent on fighting 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:36.400 an addiction. It's about comas and colostomy bags, and beautiful 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:40.800 movie stars and fax machines, crooked doctors, and ketamine queens. 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:44.120 It's a story about a man who loved the spotlight 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.600 like a singer loves a great song or great music. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.000 Unlike that music. I've played few at the top of 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:56.120 the show that wasn't great music. That was a preset 0:00:56.160 --> 0:01:02.960 loop from my melotron called Unskinny Tata one. I played 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.640 you that loop because I can't afford the rights to 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:09.440 I'll Make Love to You by Boys to Men. And 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:12.360 why would I play you that specific slice. 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.360 Of number one cheese? Could I afford it? 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:19.479 Because that was the number one song in America on 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:23.720 September twenty two, nineteen ninety four, and that was the 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:28.120 day that Friends aired on national television. Changing Matthew Perry's 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:36.039 life Forever On this episode Addiction, Purpose, Fame, Fax, Machines, 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:42.200 Akedemy and Queen, and Matthew Perry. I'm Jake Brennan in. 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.040 This this Disgraceland. 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:17.200 There is a weight to silence. 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:18.919 It's heavy. 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:24.000 Children in the house mean silence is hard to come by, 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.800 and most parents will tell you that, despite the aggravation, 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:33.040 that lack of silence gives them purpose. Someone once said 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.160 that being a parent with multiple small children is like 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:40.359 living amongst endless brushfires, constantly springing to life. 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:42.639 It's a game of whack a mole. 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:45.960 One fire bursts a light, you put it out, and 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:49.959 before you know it, another one springs up. Your job 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:52.520 is to not let them get out of control, and 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:57.919 conversely to cultivate them when needed. But without that energy, 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:02.280 there is only silence. And if you've got a longing 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:05.560 in your heart, or an aversion to confronting parts of 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:10.080 you that you'd rather not acknowledge, the nasty bits your insecurities, 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:15.200 the silence blocks out all logical thought. It sits on you. 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:18.840 It's so heavy you can feel your chest start to cave. 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:26.000 For Matthew Perry, the silence squeezed him tight until the 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:31.680 pressure exploded into a million fragmented, intrusive thoughts, thoughts that 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:37.040 then reconstituted back into a massive and amorphous fear. Fear 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:40.600 that hit hardest at night, just before the hard to 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:45.400 obtain sleep, right during the edge of consciousness, just as 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:48.920 Matthew was about to drift off, his fear would pierce 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:54.320 the silence and speak to him, sometimes literally, they'll. 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:56.760 Never love you, they always. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:04:03.480 Leave, And sometimes it spoke to him figuratively. The sound 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:06.800 of coyotes tearing apart their prey in the distant Hollywood 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:10.760 Hills made it inevitable that Matthew Perry wouldn't fall asleep 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:15.680 anytime soon. He'd do anything to end this horrific sound. 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:21.640 But then what then It was just more silence, and 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:25.760 the silence for him was even scarier. Matthew thought about 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.840 the vicodin on his nightstand, and then he thought about 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:32.440 the vodka in his freezer. Then, in a manner of 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:37.680 speaking currently influencing the way America spoke, Matthew Perry heard 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:39.880 the voice of the character he brought to life on 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:44.880 television weekly for millions of people, Chandler Bing. Chandler could 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:49.120 always say what Matthew couldn't and Matthew smiled in relief 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.479 when he heard Chandler break through the fear in his 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:56.040 head with that trademark cadence and whip smart wit to say, 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:00.200 And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why they invent did 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:10.960 drugs and alcohol. All your friends smoke newports. It's a drag. 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:15.400 The menthol smell is gross. You need twin blasts of 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:18.119 banaka and glade that you keep in your glove box 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:22.719 before walking into your kitchen, otherwise your parents will catch wind. 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:25.599 And an argument over the friends you're stuck hanging out 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:28.479 with will prevent you from watching the friends you want 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:30.600 to hang out with Monica. 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:32.520 Joey, Phoebe, Rachel. 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:38.720 Ross, and Chandler on television. It's Thursday night, nineteen ninety six, 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:42.960 a school night, eight pm. You got to be home 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:45.880 by now anyway. Otherwise it wasn't just an argument over 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.280 your friends. It was an argument over your car privileges. 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:53.400 But you don't mind. Friends is your favorite show. It's 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:57.200 much better than Seinfelder, So you think, what's with that 0:05:57.320 --> 0:06:03.159 dude's style anyway? Tight jeans and turtlenecks, nap You prefer friends. 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:08.799 Life at Central Perk seems lighter than life at Monk's Cafe. Plus, 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:12.080 Joey and Chandler and Ross are hot, and Rachel and 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:15.720 Monica and Phoebe always look perfect. Your mom even cut 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.760 her hair like Monica's. But you and nearly everyone else 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.360 you know with any sense of style cut your hair 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:25.640 like Rachel's. Your dad didn't catch the reference. He doesn't 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:28.760 care for the show, or so he says. He just 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.240 sits in his lazy boy reading the nightly edition of 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:34.119 the local newspaper while you and your mom watch, though 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:38.120 occasionally you'll hear your dad grunt and approval. Whatever Joey 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:42.520 lays out his signature, you doing, Ross is about to mess. 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:43.520 Up big time. 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:47.599 He's way too jealous of Rachel's coworker at Blooming Nails. 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:49.280 Blooming Nails. 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:54.000 God, a job like that at the mall, can you 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:59.839 imagine to die for? You're stuck working at tcby serving 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:03.520 the so called country's best yogurt to health conscious housewives 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.839 and board stoner's from your school. 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.280 Stoner's love frozen. 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:11.560 Yogurt, but you hate it mainly because serving it only 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:14.400 pays five bucks an hour, which is likely close to 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:15.880 what Phoebe makes as a masseuse. 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.200 Though she gets tips. 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:23.280 Out of the characters on Friends afford those great Manhattan apartments. 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:27.960 Your guess is that Monica type A and properly employed 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:30.720 as a chef, likely covers most of the rent for 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:33.640 hers and Rachel's apartment, and that Ross, of course does 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:38.440 alright as a palaeontologist. Joey is an underemployed actor, so 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:41.760 it's likely Chandler takes care of his and Joey's rent 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:44.760 as a transponster or whatever it is that Chandler does 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:48.120 for a living. You wonder if Chandler's job is supposed 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:50.280 to be taking a toll on him this season. 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.360 He's lost a lot of weight. 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:56.800 You like skinny guys, though, Patrick Swayze and Dirty Dancing 0:07:57.040 --> 0:07:58.480 Johnny Depp and cry Baby. 0:07:58.960 --> 0:07:59.760 Those guys are. 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:05.000 Skinny, gorgeous, But Chandler seems so skinny now that you 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.160 get the vibe that something's wrong, that he hasn't just 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:12.720 traded the Ben and Jerry's for the tcby no Chandler 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:16.400 bing or the actor that plays him. Rather, Matthew Perry 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:24.640 looks ill. Starring on Friends was all Matthew Perry ever wanted. Well. 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:28.920 Being famous was actually all Matthew Perry ever wanted, but 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.560 starring on Friends was how Matthew Perry was going to 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:36.440 become famous. Acting out characters on doomed scripts for pilot 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:39.920 season every year juiced Matthew's bank account enough to keep 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:42.840 the drinks flowing down at the Foremosa Cafe in West 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.400 Hollywood with his buddies, fellow funny men Hank Azaria and 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:50.880 Craig Burko. But fame was not yet a reality, and 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:56.640 Matthew needed to make it a reality. He didn't fully 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.840 understand it at the time, back in those pre fame, 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:04.160 pre Friends days in the early nineties, but Matthew Perry 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:07.480 needed fame like a junkie needs a fix, like an 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:12.280 alcoholic needs a drink. He tasted it briefly acting alongside 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:15.080 River Phoenix in the excellent film A Night in the 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:18.480 Life of Jimmy Reardon, and got brief snapshots of it 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.520 from the various sitcom appearances he made in Growing Pains 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:25.080 and in Beverly Hills nine O two one zero. The truth, though, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.560 is that Matthew had been catching the dopamine rush of 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.560 adulation every time he'd entered a room since he was 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:35.280 fourteen years old. Being the son of an actor, the 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:38.959 Old Spice Man himself, John Bennett Perry, and a famous 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:43.760 Canadian political pro Suzanne Langford Morrison, press secretary to Canadian 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:47.760 Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. Matthew needed hum or to stand 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:51.240 out amongst his two charismatic and recognizable parents. 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:52.760 It worked. 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:58.840 People noticed Matthew, everyone but his parents anyway, or so 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:03.040 we thought. Their divorce at an early age scarred him. 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:06.479 It left him marked by an unshakable sense of abandonment 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:09.840 that he used humor to fight it off, to draw 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:14.280 people into him, to disarm people socially, and to distract 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:16.840 everyone around him from what he thought were his obvious 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:23.400 personality flaws. Like every great entertainer, Matthew Perry knew innately 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.160 and from a young age that when he entered a 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:29.320 room he had to make you laugh until your side's hurt, 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:32.320 and that when he exited the room, he needed to 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:37.720 have the last laugh. Sometimes innate wit wasn't enough. Socially, 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:42.880 alcohol helped it, greased the social skits, making the jokes 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:46.760 flow with a little less effort. Matthew discovered this as 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:50.040 early as fourteen years old, and his drinking persisted throughout 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.080 the early days of his young acting career, not that 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:55.760 that was unusual for a young aspiring actor in Hollywood 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:59.319 at the time, everyone had seemed drink and everyone wanted 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:05.640 to be famous. When Matthew Perry first read the script 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:08.600 for Friends, or for six of One, as the show 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.920 was initially titled, he knew that the role of Chandler 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:16.280 Bing would make him famous. He was Chandler Bing, a 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:20.080 character that used humor in sarcasm to mask his vulnerability. 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:23.080 Matthew couldn't think of a more accurate portrayal of him 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:25.720 as a person, never mind a more perfect role for 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.480 him to play. He read for the role and he 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:32.440 killed it. Then he got down on his knees and 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.880 prayed to God, saying, God, you can do whatever you 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:40.840 want to me, just please make me famous. God listened, 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:45.160 God acted. Matthew Perry booked the role of Chandler Bing. 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:49.400 Friends aired on September twenty second, nineteen ninety four, and 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:54.800 was an instant smash. To say that Friends was a 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:59.199 successful TV show is an understatement. We recognize it now 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.640 as one of the most tcessful television shows of all time, 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.040 and it was. But if you weren't there in the 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:07.760 nineties during its run, especially the breakout hyper fame of 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:11.200 those early seasons, it's hard to understand what the show 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:17.280 actually was. It's no stretch to call it a cultural phenomenon. Understandably, 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:21.840 people compare Friends to Seinfeld, but Friends did things Seinfeld 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.800 never did. Friends changed the way people dressed. Seinfeld never 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.680 did that. Friends changed the way people wore their hair. 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.720 Seinfeld never did that. Friends changed the way people spoke. 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:38.960 Seinfeld never did that either. And Friends made massive celebrities 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:43.360 out of each of its stars. Seinfeld definitely never did that. 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:48.160 The influence of Friends at the time is morrikin to 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:56.719 the influence of the Beatles, not of Seinfeld. But by 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.520 season three of Friends, Matthew Perry realized the full scope 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:04.520 of what he had asked of God. Yes, God had 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.679 made him famous, and yes God was going to do 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:13.280 whatever he wanted with him. Fame, Matthew Perry learned, was 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.480 not enough. It didn't break the silence in his head 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.560 at night. It didn't call the fear that he wasn't 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:20.160 good enough. 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:22.080 No one won't ever love you. 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:26.760 It opened doors, sure, and yes, Matthew consistently knocked everyone 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.280 dead with laughs every time he walked through those doors, 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:32.719 both on and off stage, but those laughs only went 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.160 so far. At the end of the day, it was 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:40.400 still just Matthew alone with himself and the familiar thought 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:45.640 that he wasn't enough. Soon, though, the alcohol wasn't enough either, 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:49.920 not enough to keep his demons at bay. So Matthew 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:54.840 turned to pills, the opiate's vicotin and soon a tolerance 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:58.840 was developed, so much so that by season three of 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:02.360 the show that made him fain, Matthew Perry was taking 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:07.000 fifty five pills a day to stay high, and when 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.520 he wasn't chasing lass on stage at the Warner Brothers 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:13.400 studio lot, he was chasing down crooked doctors and nurses 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:18.760 sympathetic to his faked migraines and TV star charm. Fifty 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:23.920 five pills a day had utterly destroyed Matthew's appetite, knocking 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.480 him down to a deathly looking one hundred and twenty 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:30.680 eight pounds. Season three of Friends, Wrapped in the very 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:34.640 famous Matthew Perry checked himself into rehab for the first 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:39.160 of what would become an eventual sixty five times in 0:14:39.320 --> 0:15:07.880 detox outside the Hazelt and Betty Ford Drug Treatment Facility 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.880 in Center City, Minnesota, about ten minutes across Interstate four 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:16.320 ninety four is the tiny city of New Hope. There, 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:19.480 back in nineteen ninety seven, the small paper shop, Hawk's, 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:25.160 Hallmark cards, magazines, newspapers, the New Hope Golden Valley Post News, 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:30.320 among them, not to mention candy, cigarettes, cigars, and scratch tickets. 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.360 The magazine stand is one of a million you've seen before. 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:38.840 It's filled with late nineties titles, with covers featuring mega 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:44.560 famous celebrities, lasting megawatts smiles backup prospective Middle American magazine readers. 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:49.760 Behind the glitzy confidence. If you squint, you'll see it, 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:52.359 the faint vibe of desperation. 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:54.200 It's hard to catch. 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:59.760 Most confuse it with vulnerability, and yes, there is vulnerability there, 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:05.000 but mostly it's a list desperation. Celebrities appear to be 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:08.080 on top of the world with confidence, especially when they're 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:11.600 glitzed out on magazine covers under perfect lighting, framed and 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.520 captured by some of the most talented photographers in the world. 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:16.240 But they're there for. 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:21.040 A reason because they need your adoration. It feeds them. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:24.040 They need it more than money, some need it more 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.400 than love. Some even need it more than drugs. 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:29.720 It was a jump ball. 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.040 The question of whether Matthew Perry needed your adoration more 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:37.480 than he needed the drugs. Still there he is one 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.120 of the biggest television stars on the planet. On the 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:44.120 cover of Entertainment Weekly with the screaming headline a friend 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:46.960 in Need, And there he is. On the cover of People, 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:54.400 another headline announces Matthew Perry's addiction crisis. Other magazines seventeen, GQ, 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:59.080 and in Style host other cover stars Jennifer Love, Hewitt, 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:03.080 Mira Servina, and Helen Hunt, but all feature notices teasing 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.600 Matthew Perry's recent stint in rehab just up the road 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:12.320 from New Hope at Hazelden, where at the moment, Matthew 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:16.880 was using the rehab facility's wall for emotional support, standing up, 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.679 pressing the side of his face into the cold cement, 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:24.080 his arms outstretched wide and in a way, pinning himself 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:27.720 to the wall in a makeshift hug. Matthew needed the 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.879 wall to be able to move. Matthew needed the wall 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.560 for comfort. Matthew needed the wall because it was all 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.520 he had besides the feeling that he was going to die. 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:43.040 The voice told him, so, you'll never live like a 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:48.199 real man. Detoxing off of opiates won't kill you like 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.080 detoxing off of Ben's a dream or alcohol will. But 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:54.479 detoxing off of opiates will hurt so bad it'll make 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:58.679 you wish you were dead. Opiate abuse and taking fifty 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.760 five opiate lace pills a day certainly qualifies this abuse 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:06.800 will also rewire your brain. It'll confuse your brain so 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.800 severely that not only will your brain no longer process 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:12.520 pleasure and pain the way a healthy brain does, but 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.520 it'll also take you months, if not an entire year, 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:20.200 of solid sobriety before your brain rewires itself back to normal. 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:25.480 Matthew Perry was sober, he detoxed and stopped taking vicodin 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:29.280 and drinking vodka while in rehab, but he was utterly confused, 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:34.160 violently sick, and felt like he was completely alone. Hugging 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:37.359 the wall was all he had in Somewhere in his 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.560 drug addled brain. There was a strange sense of comfort 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:45.879 in realizing this. Being alone felt familiar. It seemed inevitable, 0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:48.960 like the thing he feared the most had finally happened, 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:52.480 so he could stop worrying about it now. But then 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:55.360 that acknowledgment would get buried. 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:57.840 Very capable of joy. 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:02.240 And the physical pain of addiction return and once again 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:09.679 consumed the twenty eight year old television star. In nineteen 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:12.959 seventy six, the British Medical Journal published a study by 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:13.480 doctors G. 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:14.879 Edwards and M. M. 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:21.040 Cross that diagnosed alcoholism as an illness a disease. In 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.080 nineteen eighty one, a memorandum published by the World Health 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:28.200 Organization broadened the original nineteen seventy six study to include 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:32.880 other drugs as well. This meant that medically speaking, if 0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:36.199 you were an addict, your addiction was a disease, just 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:40.320 like any other life threatening disease, like say, cancer or Alzheimer's. 0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:44.600 This was a massive shift from the prevailing attitude at 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:49.280 the time that alcoholism and drug addiction were choices people made. 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:51.960 Having grown up in a town full of fellow irishmen 0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:55.439 and lots of friends of Bill w this classification of 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:58.800 addiction as a disease is not news to me. But 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:02.080 what is surprising is that to this day people still 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:06.280 believe that addiction is a choice. Whenever I post any 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:09.000 information on an entertainer that I'm covering who dies of 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:12.200 drug abuse or alcoholism, there's always a good portion of 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:16.880 the comments damning the addict for their choices in life. 0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:20.159 Given all that we know, this attitude in twenty twenty 0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:25.160 four is shocking, not to mention ignorant. That said, it's 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.760 a mistake that even I've made, despite knowing on an 0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:34.040 intellectual level anyway, that addiction is a disease. In the past, 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:37.320 I falsely believe that loved ones could get clean if 0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:40.359 they just tried a little harder, as if the deployment 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:44.879 of personal effort alone could solve their illness. I'm embarrassed 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:49.120 to say that, despite my own deeply personal experiences with addicts, 0:20:49.680 --> 0:20:52.800 it wasn't until researching this episode that I realized the 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:56.480 true nature of opioid addiction and the herculean effort it 0:20:56.560 --> 0:21:02.320 requires to detox from opiates. Detoxing permanently requires a wide 0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:07.080 array of tactics beyond willingness and resiliency. Beating the disease, 0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:09.879 as Matthew Perry was learning during his first stint, and 0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:13.960 rehab necessitates a mix of not only personal grit, but 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:20.840 psychological care, physical therapy, carefully administered medication, time, patience, and 0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:24.840 lots of love both external and internal. Not to mention 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:29.680 luck defeeding the disease of opiate addiction is an insanely 0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:34.400 steep uphill battle that is different for every addict. Back 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:37.080 in the late nineties, you'd be hard pressed to find 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:40.080 a doctor, a nurse, or a pain specialist, whatever the 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:42.240 hell that is, or a big pharm of sales rep 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:46.280 who would tell you that these prescribed opiates were even addictive, 0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:50.200 when we now know the truth that addiction to these 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:53.679 pills to vic it into oxycon wasn't just a bug, 0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:54.480 it was. 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:55.960 Practically a feature. 0:21:57.000 --> 0:22:00.760 And if, like Matthew Perry, you were genetically predisposed to 0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:04.320 addiction to the disease, the likelihood that you could stay 0:22:04.359 --> 0:22:08.159 clean after detoxing was slim to none. Sure there were 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:10.720 those who get clean off of opiates, but most need 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:14.720 other addictive opiate medication like syboxone methadone to do so. 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:19.040 And yes, some people do go cold turkey, but even 0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:24.120 so sobriety is a daily battle. In the future is unwritten. 0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:30.760 Matthew Perry's future in nineteen ninety seven was an abstract 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.159 concept as he propped his body up in the halls 0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:36.640 of the Hazelden Rehab facility, drool running down his chin, 0:22:36.960 --> 0:22:42.120 hugging the wall. Once again, strange sounds rattled around his head, 0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:46.520 coyotes and children, and the clunky, half mechanical, half digital 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:51.720 sound of something exciting shaking itself to life, a memory 0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:59.840 of a new hope. 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:01.399 Are you right back after this? 0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:12.520 We're we're where? Before email, before cell phones, long before 0:23:12.560 --> 0:23:16.320 social media, fax machines were used to transmit the written 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:21.480 word over long distances. Matthew Perry's fax machine was working 0:23:21.520 --> 0:23:26.040 overtime lately in these heady early days of friends. Million 0:23:26.080 --> 0:23:29.960 dollar offers for starring roles in films mostly, but that 0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:33.760 wasn't what had Matthew figuratively chained to his fax machine. 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.160 Now we'll cause Matthew to not go too far from 0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:40.120 his facts and to race home after work to check 0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:44.240 its messages. Was a long distance flirtation Matthew had going 0:23:44.320 --> 0:23:47.520 on with the biggest movie star on the planet, Julia 0:23:47.640 --> 0:23:52.359 Roberts poems Get to Know Your Missives, and conversations about 0:23:52.359 --> 0:23:56.720 their shared love of the La Kings. Conversations that started 0:23:56.720 --> 0:24:03.119 professionally progressed quickly to personal and then romantic, consumed Matthew's imagination. 0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:08.119 Soon Julia rapt production on Woody Allen's Everyone Says I 0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:11.199 Love You returned to the States, and she and Matthew 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:15.520 started dating each other. It was perfect, so it had 0:24:15.560 --> 0:24:21.639 to end. Matthew Perry couldn't handle a perfect relationship with 0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:24.560 the perfect woman whose love should have perfectly suited him, 0:24:25.200 --> 0:24:27.560 because Matthew Perry knew in his bones that he was 0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:31.280 far from perfect, and that someday Julia Roberts would realize 0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:33.520 this and she would leave him for it, and that 0:24:33.640 --> 0:24:37.520 pain would hurt worse than him leaving her now, So 0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:40.119 Matthew Perry broke up with the biggest movie star on 0:24:40.160 --> 0:24:42.720 the planet, who wanted nothing more than to be with him, 0:24:42.800 --> 0:24:44.800 to take care of him, and to share a future 0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:48.800 with him. Matthew's future was not to be shared with 0:24:48.960 --> 0:24:52.399 anyone or anything except for what he called the big 0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:57.440 terrible thing, which was his consuming drug habit. The fact 0:24:57.440 --> 0:24:59.600 that Matthew had the number one television show in the 0:24:59.600 --> 0:25:01.400 world at the same time that he had the number 0:25:01.400 --> 0:25:05.199 one movie, The Whole Nine Yards, starring alongside the coolest 0:25:05.280 --> 0:25:08.560 dude Matthew had ever met, Bruce Willis, none of this 0:25:08.720 --> 0:25:13.919 changed Matthew's relationship with drugs and alcohol. If anything, the 0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:17.960 busier or more successful, the more famous Matthew cut, the 0:25:18.040 --> 0:25:19.720 deeper he sunk into addiction. 0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:22.480 Hazelden worked in. 0:25:22.480 --> 0:25:25.600 Cleaning him up for a moment anyway, and then there 0:25:25.640 --> 0:25:28.680 was a slip up. Then there was methadone to suppress 0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:32.840 the all consuming need for opiates. Matthew never showed up 0:25:32.920 --> 0:25:34.800 high to work on the set of Friends, but he 0:25:34.960 --> 0:25:39.760 was constantly hungover xanax, cocaine, the nightly Court of vodka. 0:25:40.359 --> 0:25:42.919 The hangovers were intense until the lights went on and 0:25:42.920 --> 0:25:47.119 the director yelled to action. Most times Matthew could summon 0:25:47.160 --> 0:25:50.200 the strength to overcome the physical and mental pain, hit 0:25:50.280 --> 0:25:53.560 his mark and deliver his line as Chandler Bing, But 0:25:53.680 --> 0:25:57.360 once the director yelled cut, Matthew would sink back into 0:25:57.359 --> 0:26:04.359 the prickly embrace the big terrible thing. Jennifer Aniston confronted him. 0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:08.080 Matthew's sense of professional pride kicked in, and another trip 0:26:08.119 --> 0:26:12.119 to rehab after Friends wrapped was booked. Once Matthew checked in, 0:26:12.560 --> 0:26:15.359 the effectiveness of rehab was now being challenged by an 0:26:15.359 --> 0:26:18.240 attic whose disease compelled him to manipulate the rules to 0:26:18.280 --> 0:26:21.720 find and use more drugs. It was a vicious predicament. 0:26:22.520 --> 0:26:26.800 Eventually Matthew was discharged, but in short order he started 0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:29.840 getting high again, and just as friends soared to new 0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:38.600 heights and popularity, Matthew once again crashed. Central Perk was 0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:41.880 one of those local coffee shops that no longer exists. 0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:45.760 These days, coffee shops are about corporate efficiency and are 0:26:45.840 --> 0:26:50.000 run by corporate overlords. Order online to save time, storm 0:26:50.000 --> 0:26:52.840 into the shop with earbuds on, ignore conversation with any 0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:55.520 other customers less they slow down your commute, and be 0:26:55.680 --> 0:26:59.479 lined to a special online takeout counter. Pick up your order, perhaps, 0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:02.080 grunt to the coffee shop worker behind the counter, and 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:03.720 get out of there and out on the street with 0:27:03.760 --> 0:27:05.760