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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beta Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.

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Speaker 1: Scrub a dub dub in the club.

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Speaker 2: The club club, Okay, in the club. We're not in

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Speaker 2: the tub, We're in the club.

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Speaker 1: Were in the club, Bott You thought you were done

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Speaker 1: with us for the week, but we came back because

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Speaker 1: we were here. And we got a dear bonya email

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Speaker 1: that was specifically emailed to Mark and myself, So.

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Speaker 2: Saving questions for you and I in the body of

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Speaker 2: the email.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know I forgot to mention to you

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Speaker 1: that I started my natural nail journey.

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Speaker 2: Thank god we came back from Thank god we came back.

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Speaker 2: Believe this on Monday, I know, whatever it was.

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Speaker 1: So, I felt that my nails haven't seen the light

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Speaker 1: of day since I was probably fifteen years old, Wow,

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Speaker 1: maybe sixteen. I don't know when you start doing the manicures. Okay,

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Speaker 1: sixteen seventeen.

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Speaker 2: I don't know a lot about this stuff. Somebody asked

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Speaker 2: some stupid questions. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: So I did acrylic for like the longest time, meaning

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Speaker 1: they put like this powder on the nails, and it

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Speaker 1: like makes them longer and thicker and stronger. But I'm

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Speaker 1: like this, all these chemicals and stuff cannot be good

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Speaker 1: to just be like seeping into my whatever nail beds, right, Okay, decades.

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Speaker 1: So I've been wanting to go on this natural nail

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Speaker 1: journey for a while, but it was like my wedding honeymoon.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I can't have like I just need

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Speaker 1: to keep it going until my honeymoon's over.

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Speaker 2: Then my honeymoon honeymoon tint h happened.

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Speaker 1: No, well no, that was like honeymoon's over.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, it's time, got.

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Speaker 1: It, It is time.

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Speaker 2: So what I'm looking at now, those don't look like

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Speaker 2: natural nails to me.

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Speaker 1: So I have one layer of nail polish on, okay,

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Speaker 1: and that I kind of do it in phases. Oh,

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Speaker 1: because your nails get so damaged from all this other

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Speaker 1: like stuff that when you raw dog your nails after

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Speaker 1: they look very like cut up and like white, like

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Speaker 1: freckly white. I don't even know how to explain it,

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Speaker 1: they just look damage. So I can't just raw dog

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Speaker 1: straight from my like gel builder to nothing. So this

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Speaker 1: is like phase two of phasing into my natural nails.

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Speaker 1: So this is just one coat of bubble bath and

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Speaker 1: then I guess next month I will maybe do a

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Speaker 1: clear coat. I guess it takes three months to like

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Speaker 1: grow your nails back allegedly, so.

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Speaker 2: Maybe a natural November is what where you have to

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Speaker 2: look forward looking like natural November.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if I stay on the path, I'm not loving it.

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Speaker 1: So who knows it's hard for you. It's been decades, decades,

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Speaker 1: and I used to have long nails, Like my nails

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Speaker 1: used to be like super long, like I could like

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Speaker 1: scratch my head, like I can't do anything. But these

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Speaker 1: these little nubs, they're just like little nubs.

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Speaker 2: Fine, they look like just like normal human hands. That's okay, thanks,

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Speaker 2: They don't look like boy hands or anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they feel a little boy to me. And also

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Speaker 1: I just feel like nails always made me feel put together,

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Speaker 1: like you know, just polish. So it's really just a

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Speaker 1: transitional period.

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Speaker 2: But Kanya, we're with you. Yeah, we support you in

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Speaker 2: this journey and we wish you nothing but the best.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to make.

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Speaker 2: It, But and then what happens, say twenty six we

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Speaker 2: go back to full on acrylics, no that's done.

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Speaker 1: The natural nail journey is like, oh, to be a

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Speaker 1: natural nail girly. The destination is natural nail girl.

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Speaker 2: Woh n ng nng. Yeah. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I also heard it's like easier when you become a mom,

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Speaker 1: Like you're not going and getting like your gel manicure

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Speaker 1: every three So.

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Speaker 2: No more gels, no more acrylics, natural nails for the

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Speaker 2: rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: That's the goal.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to get there.

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Speaker 2: This is a big deal.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to get there because

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Speaker 1: what's happening right now, is not it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it looks fine. Oh all right, this

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Speaker 2: is from KK working mom or stay at home mom.

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Speaker 2: That's the question you're asking us, Dear b e MT

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Speaker 2: you got yeah, top lowest billing on that one. Really, yep,

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Speaker 2: as I right you. Today, I'm officially half baked with

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Speaker 2: my first baby boy Becca. I miss being garden baked

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Speaker 2: and Tanya, I can't wait for you to bake your

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Speaker 2: own bun soon. A lot of baking, a lot of

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Speaker 2: mixing of baking puns. There, yes, Tanya, what before you continue?

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Speaker 1: I have a friend who listens who did not know

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Speaker 1: what gardening meant yes, and she sent me a video

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Speaker 1: of like how she used to think it was like

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Speaker 1: so cute that like Becca had a little like hobby,

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Speaker 1: and then it was a big hat.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: I have to re listen to the voicemail for the

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Speaker 1: message she said, because it was so funny, the like

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Speaker 1: path she went down of like, oh, it's cute gardening,

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Speaker 1: and then she she realized it was like a something else.

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Speaker 1: She thought it was like something sexual, and then she

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, her friend Taylor Banks came over in

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Speaker 1: the gardens, it's not something sexual, and then she like

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Speaker 1: figured it out.

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine what the sexual gardener.

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Speaker 1: Would be, but okay, yeah, so anyways, a little bit

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Speaker 1: about that.

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Speaker 2: I've been so fortunate to have a beautiful pregnancy and

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Speaker 2: I love this season of life. Now that I'm halfway there,

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Speaker 2: I'm starting to think more about what life will look

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Speaker 2: like after my baby makes his debut. I currently work

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Speaker 2: full time in higher education. I really like my job,

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Speaker 2: but it's mediocre pay and crazy hours depending on the

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Speaker 2: time of year. My husband has a good job. It

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Speaker 2: doesn't make enough for me to fully quit nor what

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Speaker 2: I really want to. At the same time, I can't

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Speaker 2: imagine working the schedule I do now, knowing my baby

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Speaker 2: is at daycare without me all day. My dream would

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Speaker 2: be to find a part time job that pays the

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Speaker 2: bills and keeps my brain stimulated, but gives me the

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Speaker 2: flexibility to be with my baby as much as possible.

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Speaker 2: But is that what I really want? Tanya? How does

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Speaker 2: a modern woman like you see the stage of your

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Speaker 2: life planning out? Mark? What did you and Amy do

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Speaker 2: when the girls were young? Love you all? XOXOKK wow.

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Speaker 1: First of all, KK, congratulations, congratulations KK. That's very very exciting.

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Speaker 1: I think that a modern woman does whatever she wants.

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Speaker 1: That's really it. There's really no right or wrong I

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Speaker 1: think you can have. I obviously have a preconceived notion

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Speaker 1: of what I think it's going to look like for me,

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Speaker 1: which is I want to be a working I want

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Speaker 1: to be a working mom. I want to have a career,

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Speaker 1: and I want to have babies. That's like the ultimate

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Speaker 1: goal for me. I have yet I haven't experienced it yet,

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Speaker 1: so I don't know. I think people say things shift

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Speaker 1: in you, like when you have your baby your priority.

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Speaker 1: Everybody says like you get you know, you have a

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Speaker 1: baby and your priorities change. I think for me, I

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Speaker 1: have seen so many women give up their careers and

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Speaker 1: fully just immerse into being mom, which is so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: But then there comes a point where the kids grow

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Speaker 1: up and I'm not even talking like eighteen, where they're

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Speaker 1: like fully adults. Like, there comes a point where your

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Speaker 1: kids are more self sufficient and they get cars and

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Speaker 1: you know, they don't need you as much, and then

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Speaker 1: they don't know what to do with themselves and that's

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Speaker 1: when like trouble in the marriage happens and all that

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff. So as an outsider of somebody who's

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Speaker 1: not experienced it, that is my goal for when it

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Speaker 1: happens when it's my time. But I don't know, because

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Speaker 1: I feel like it might change.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that my wife had a job when

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Speaker 2: the babies were first born, and then she kind of

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Speaker 2: had less fewer and fewer hours, and then she was

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Speaker 2: pretty much just working Saturdays, and I liked and it

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Speaker 2: was great because Saturdays was the day for her to

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Speaker 2: kind of get away because the babies were a lot,

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Speaker 2: and that was my day for daddy daughter day and

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Speaker 2: I really look forward to that. So that kind of

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Speaker 2: worked perfectly. And then we got to a point where

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Speaker 2: the kids were playing soccer and there was no way

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Speaker 2: for my wife to be in two places at once,

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Speaker 2: so she let the job go because she wanted to

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Speaker 2: always be there for the kids. Now, everybody's got to

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Speaker 2: do what they got to do. But if you have

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Speaker 2: the option to be there for your kids, I think

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Speaker 2: your kids will love you for that. I know my

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Speaker 2: kids loved the fact that mom was always there. There

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Speaker 2: was never a thing at school, a thing in the evening,

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Speaker 2: a thing on the weekends that Mom wasn't at. And

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Speaker 2: I know that a lot of people work, and I

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Speaker 2: know you can't be there all the time. And I

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Speaker 2: don't want to make you feel bad about that. I

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Speaker 2: just know that my kids really liked it. So if

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Speaker 2: you have the option, then that would be a good

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Speaker 2: thing for there. She was never not there, my wife.

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Speaker 2: She was always there. And I think you have to

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Speaker 2: look at it from a point of view of regret.

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Speaker 2: Will you regret not spending more time with your kids

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Speaker 2: or not being at all those things with your kids?

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Speaker 2: Maybe will you regret not working more often when your

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Speaker 2: kids were little? I don't think so. And then when

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Speaker 2: the kids got older, my wife found creative ways to

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Speaker 2: work and be part of their lives at the same time.

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Speaker 2: For example, she started working at the school teaching pe

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Speaker 2: so she could be on the kids' schedule and not

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Speaker 2: have to worry about drop off and pick up and

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Speaker 2: all that stuff, because that way she has the exact

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Speaker 2: same schedules of the kids, and she was with them

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Speaker 2: all day and that was wonderful. And then later when

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Speaker 2: they were in high school, she ran the theater boosters

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Speaker 2: for three years, and so she was a part of

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Speaker 2: their lives that way, and the kids loved both of

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Speaker 2: those things. So she was able to kind of do

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Speaker 2: both for a while, which gave her own thing. It

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Speaker 2: got her out of the house, and it also got

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Speaker 2: let her be a part of the kids' lives on

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Speaker 2: a daily basis. So you can figure this out, because

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Speaker 2: it is nice to get out of the house once

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Speaker 2: in a while, especially when they're here.

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Speaker 1: Pros and cons to all of it, you know, Like

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Speaker 1: I I now, like that's like my whole thing is

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Speaker 1: I ask people like when they had babies, how they

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Speaker 1: did it, what they did? Da da da da. I

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Speaker 1: know people who when they had babies, the like the

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Speaker 1: wife stayed home and didn't and you know, stopped working

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Speaker 1: there's benefits to that because then you don't have to

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Speaker 1: like get help or like put them in daycare or

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Speaker 1: do any of that stuff like that. The mom is

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Speaker 1: just there.

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Speaker 2: My mom stayed home until I think I was in

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Speaker 2: middle school maybe, and then you went back to.

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Speaker 1: Work and then but there's an so that is you

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Speaker 1: know that. But then also if you're both working, you

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Speaker 1: need to it creates more challenges because you have to

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Speaker 1: figure out like do you put them in daycare? Do

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Speaker 1: you have help? Like what do you do? Like it

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Speaker 1: creates that whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Are you going to make enough that justifies the expense

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Speaker 2: for daycare or whatever? That may look like?

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Speaker 1: Correct, So it's pros and cons to eat either side.

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Speaker 1: I think like there's again there's no right and wrong.

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Speaker 1: I think for me, I need to have I like

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Speaker 1: really immerse myself into things, like even when it even

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Speaker 1: my career, Like I really just like dive in. When

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Speaker 1: I got my dog, I was like all in and

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Speaker 1: I can get like sucked in and make that my world.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like for me, that's not healthy. Ever,

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Speaker 1: I'll never forget it. When we were you know her,

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Speaker 1: we had a coworker was working at I don't even

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Speaker 1: to say where at the time, and she made her

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Speaker 1: whole identity her job and like where she worked. It

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Speaker 1: was like plastered all over her Instagram. It was like

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Speaker 1: in her bio. And then she got let go and

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Speaker 1: she had like an identity crisis because she was like,

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Speaker 1: who am I If I'm not this right, this girl,

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Speaker 1: and I'll never forget it because I was like I

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Speaker 1: always I never wanted my identity to be about my job,

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Speaker 1: where I work, who I parent my dog, like like

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Speaker 1: any of it. I just want me. I just want

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Speaker 1: to exists as myself. And so I mean some people

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Speaker 1: might come at me and say that's horrible.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if it's realistic, because that scares me.

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Speaker 2: Someday I'm not going to be producer of the Sea question,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know what that looks like. I don't

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Speaker 2: know what that is. I don't know who I am

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Speaker 2: because my mind is always, oh, that's a good idea

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Speaker 2: for the show. And I got notes and I got

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Speaker 2: all this stuff. I got a whole system. Like someday

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Speaker 2: that's not going to be me, and I don't know

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Speaker 2: what that's going to be. Like it's scary to me.

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Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, But there's so many more layers to you.

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Speaker 2: I guess, but that's the point is I don't know

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Speaker 2: if there are anymore.

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Speaker 1: You're a husband, You're a dad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, You're a friend, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Family member, Yeah, passionate about hikes and dogs.

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Speaker 2: And baseball and baseball. Yeah, I suppose. I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: that's enough to be a fully functioning year.

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Speaker 1: We'll get on it now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's your homework, all right? Yeah, all right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Do you think we helped KK?

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Speaker 1: Probably not?

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Speaker 2: Probably not?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, who tried?

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Speaker 2: Hey, that's all we can do. Yeah, why don't we

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Speaker 2: take a break and then we'll do some other questions?

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Speaker 1: Okay, one more great.

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Speaker 2: And we're back.

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Speaker 1: That's you.

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Speaker 2: Mark here. I am from Renee, Hi, Becca, Mark, Tanya

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Speaker 2: and Eastern All right, day one scrubber here. I just

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Speaker 2: want to see how much I love the pod. I

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Speaker 2: found that after Becca was on the Bachelor, and I've

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Speaker 2: been hooked ever since. I need a little advice there.

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Speaker 2: We usually moved back to my small hometown in central

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Speaker 2: Indiana to be closer to my family. After ten years

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Speaker 2: away college, dream job teaching kindergarten. Five year relationship ended

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Speaker 2: in January, I decided to come home. I landed another

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Speaker 2: kindergarten job, bought a house, and life feels like it's

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Speaker 2: falling into place. Part of moving back was to eventually

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Speaker 2: raise a family near mine. So I've been keeping an

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Speaker 2: eye out. And the other day I saw a guy

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Speaker 2: I went to high school with pop up on Facebook.

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Speaker 2: He's a year or two older. We weren't close, but

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Speaker 2: it figured, Hey, why not add him?

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Speaker 1: Message him?

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Speaker 2: He added me back quickly after some light stalking. Turns

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Speaker 2: out he's way cuter than I remembered, single, goes to church.

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Speaker 2: Could be a great match. Here's my dilemma. Should I

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Speaker 2: message him? Yes? Would that be weird? Or two forward?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: What would I even say? That's casual but still shows

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Speaker 2: I'm interested? Hey? Or am I overthinking this and should

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Speaker 2: just wait and see if he makes the first move. No,

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Speaker 2: I haven't did it all since the breakup and getting

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Speaker 2: back out there feels intimidating, especially when it seems like

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Speaker 2: all the good ones are taken. Any advice or encouragement

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Speaker 2: would mean so much much love from Renee. You are

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Speaker 2: not even thinking twice about this?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not. But you know what's funny. I have a

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Speaker 1: friend that's like this, Okay, she doesn't want to do anything. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she wants the guys to come to her. I'm the

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Speaker 1: complete opposite. I'm like, treat it like a job. If

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Speaker 1: you're like, if you're what am I trying to say,

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Speaker 1: dream job popped up on somewhere? Are you not going

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Speaker 1: to apply?

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Speaker 2: You're gonna hope they message you. This guy could be

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Speaker 2: your dream guy. He could be a scumbag, totally.

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Speaker 1: Out with them.

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Speaker 2: Find out, yes, message him?

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Speaker 1: Message him?

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Speaker 2: Why not?

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Speaker 1: Hey so funny?

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Speaker 2: You popped up?

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Speaker 1: Have you been? Literally so funny? You popped up on

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Speaker 1: my page? Have you been?

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Speaker 2: What do you have to lose? Nothing? If not you? Who?

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Speaker 2: If not? Now? When?

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Speaker 1: If not? Why not?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Why not? I just don't see them? Why not?

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Speaker 1: I don't either.

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Speaker 2: I don't get the whole Like I'll sit back and

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Speaker 2: let him message me.

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Speaker 1: It's the Margaret quality syndrome.

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Speaker 2: What is that exactly? Can you explain? I like Margaret quality.

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Speaker 2: She's a good actress quality. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like she sam can quote direct. But

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Speaker 1: she basically said that she didn't double text Jack ants,

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Speaker 1: notof that he came to her. YadA YadA, YadA must

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Speaker 1: be nice.

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Speaker 2: YadA, Yada's doing a lot of work. There. I think

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Speaker 2: we need more information here. It is when after said

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Speaker 2: I love you first, Margaret said he did obviously. She

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Speaker 2: says she does not double text or chase people. She says,

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Speaker 2: I'm old school. I would never put myself out there first.

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Speaker 2: I never text twice. I mean, no, I'm married, I

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Speaker 2: can text him whatever. But before we were together, at

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Speaker 2: the beginning, I would always follow southern girl etiquette. That

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Speaker 2: is the anti Tanya. And we're saying that you'd be

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Speaker 2: the aunt ebrenet Yeah, get out there.

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Speaker 1: So was it called southern girl?

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Speaker 2: What southern girl etiquette? Yeah? You know, she's sounds a.

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Speaker 1: Pretty girl etiquette. It must be nice to have.

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Speaker 2: It is like falling all over your over you.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm not going to text twice. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: I'm just like pinging left and right, ping, ping, ping, ping, go.

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Speaker 2: Ahead, poke ping whatever you gotta do on Facebook?

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Speaker 1: Why not?

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Speaker 2: I just don't see the why not?

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Speaker 1: I kissed so many frogs who cares led me to

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Speaker 1: my prins?

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Speaker 2: Fine? On a sim note, a smitten scrubber says, dear

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Speaker 2: Eastern Mark, tiny and Becka in no particular order, A

359
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 2: little hope for anyone still waiting for love. A glimpse

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Speaker 2: in how mine unfolded in the most unexpected way. See

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Speaker 2: this is inspiring to Renee. I'm thirty one. I've had

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Speaker 2: my heart broken more times than I can count. After

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Speaker 2: years of healing, I was finally content being single, and

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00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 2: of course the cliche proved true. Just when I wasn't looking,

365
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Speaker 2: love found me. My aunt introduced me to a guy.

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Speaker 2: She knew we had a lot in common and he

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Speaker 2: was incredibly kind. But I wasn't attracted to him at first.

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Speaker 2: No vagina tingles if Tanya would say, oh still, I

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Speaker 2: gave it a chance. After a few dates, I told

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Speaker 2: him I just wanted to be friends. But we kept

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Speaker 2: hanging out and slowly something changed that I got to

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Speaker 2: know him and I got to know his heart. The

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Speaker 2: spark grew. Now six months in, he is the best boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: He's kind, funny, attractive. He makes me feel so safe

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Speaker 2: and yes, the tingles showed up big time. Ladies, give

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Speaker 2: the good guys a chance, or real connection can surprise you.

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Speaker 2: I love you all. Your podcast is the highlight of

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Speaker 2: my week. See last week we had a dear BONDI

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Speaker 2: from somebody who said, should I date my friend? He

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00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,120
Speaker 2: doesn't give me the tingles. This is the sign tingles

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00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:13,159
Speaker 2: can be earned, Tingles could lie dormant. Tanya doesn't agree.

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Speaker 2: You're making the face that you don't agree.

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Speaker 1: I don't agree, but I can't discredit this email. I mean,

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Speaker 1: who am I to discredit someone's email?

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Speaker 2: It worked for a smitten scrubber.

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Speaker 1: A smitten scrubber. I'm happy for you, but I'd like

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Speaker 1: to challenge you a little bit.

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Speaker 2: I think it's true. I think if you have a

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Speaker 2: good guy friend, couldn't that grow into something. You've had

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00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 2: good guy friends over the years. Obviously nothing ever grew

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Speaker 2: into something. But else you never made that effort.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I would have had the vagina tingles

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Speaker 1: with any of my good guy friends. I just don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. So we have differing opinions.

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Speaker 1: Here makes the world go around.

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Speaker 2: No, you know it's so true.

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Speaker 1: YEA one man's trash is another man's.

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Speaker 2: We're unanimous on renee. Go for it, ye message him,

399
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 2: nothing to lose for everybody else Like last week's scrubber.

400
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 2: You know, I say, I say kiss the guy and

401
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 2: see what happens. That's what I say.

402
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,679
Speaker 1: Kiss the guys, see what happens.

403
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's not that they're lying dormant, it's just that

404
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,120
Speaker 2: they're like they need they need to be woken up

405
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 2: the tingles. Well, then and a good kiss can wake

406
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 2: up the tingles. No, I just don't think so they're

407
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:28,320
Speaker 2: just asleep.

408
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,440
Speaker 1: I just don't think so they don't sleep when they've

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Speaker 1: been awoken.

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Speaker 2: But I think sometimes when you're if you're not thinking

411
00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 2: of someone that way, there's no tingles, right because it's like,

412
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:41,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, there's people in your life that don't

413
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 2: give you tingles because you just know them too well.

414
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,399
Speaker 2: There's no tangles happening because you just do mundane stuff together.

415
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I had this far was I I don't

416
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,199
Speaker 1: know where I was, and I don't know what the

417
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,719
Speaker 1: context of this was. But somebody asked us. They were like,

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Speaker 1: if you were married and you started to develop feelings

419
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 1: for somebody else outside of your marriage, would you tell

420
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Speaker 1: your partner.

421
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 2: Feelings? Like, I think we need to be more specific

422
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: about feelings.

423
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,159
Speaker 1: Okay, like you want like you I don't know, I

424
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,160
Speaker 1: can't remember what this must have come from, some show

425
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: or something. I'm like blanking on how it came up,

426
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 1: but it was something The premise was like this person

427
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 1: was married, and I think it was a coworker somebody

428
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,360
Speaker 1: if they saw often and they started to develop.

429
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: Is it just like a crush?

430
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, something like that. Okay, they didn't they weren't going

431
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 1: to act on it, right obviously, But don't tell your

432
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 1: partner that, like, you're starting to feel something for somebody else, Well.

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00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 2: I don't if you're not, If you're not going to

434
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 2: act on it. Well, what did you answer? What did

435
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:48,640
Speaker 2: you say?

436
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 1: Well, my whole thing was like, I mean, I've only

437
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,439
Speaker 1: been married for five months, so I can't like, I

438
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 1: can't really speak on it, but I feel like I've

439
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: been with him for six years and there is a

440
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: chip in me that switched off the minute I started

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00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 1: stating him that would not like, I just can't see

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00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 1: that happening to me again. I say this now five months,

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00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 1: I've heard.

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00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 2: That there's a thing I forget. There's a name for

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00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 2: it too, for I'm going to look it up in

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00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 2: a minute, but I don't want to take everyone's time

447
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 2: doing that. You were a harmless crush on someone in

448
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 2: your life, even though you're married. There's a name for it,

449
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: and I forget what it is, but I've used it

450
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 2: before and putting stuff together for the radio show. But anyway,

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00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 2: the point is they say it's it's common, it's normal,

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00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 2: it's no big deal. But I think if you do

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00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: confess that to your spouse, it becos it becomes a

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00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 2: big deal, right for sure? Right, So would you tell

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00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 2: him or not?

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00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I just can't even

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00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: put myself in that position because I just again, like

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00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: I feel like I just turned something off in me

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00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: where I don't see men Like, yes, I can a

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00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 1: hawkeye can walk into the room and I can acknowledge,

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00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: but oh, like I's hot whatever, But I don't let

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00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: myself go there.

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00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 2: That makes sense.

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00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 1: And Robbie is the same way. He's like that that.

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00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 1: It's exactly. It's like a switch that you just like

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00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 1: switch off. You know.

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00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 2: It's an interesting question.

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00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, ponder it. Maybe maybe perhaps we can discuss the

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00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 1: next time.

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00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 2: I'll look forward to that, all right.

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Speaker 1: All right, that wraps it up for today's Dear Bonya

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00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:35,439
Speaker 1: slash Manya slash we out here. Hopefully we will be

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Speaker 1: back next week with Beca Tilly herself.

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Speaker 2: That would be great, that'd be ideal. Maybe even East

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Speaker 1: Maybe even East until then, we love you and goodbye

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Speaker 1: continued