WEBVTT - Dating Game

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Romberger podcast. Hey, they're love birds and anyone in

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<v Speaker 1>the Lonely Hearts Club. I know that some of you

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<v Speaker 1>out there are in love and some of you just

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<v Speaker 1>started sharing glances across the room at your a A meeting,

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<v Speaker 1>and some of you out there, well, you're just plain

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<v Speaker 1>stinky dinky and that's a serious SDD. Go to your

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<v Speaker 1>local clinic and get the stinky dinky test. You could

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<v Speaker 1>save a life your own. I have to say everything

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<v Speaker 1>is going great with me, As some listeners may know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm in a beautiful and philosophically rewarding relationship with the

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<v Speaker 1>singer songwriter Sia Carolina. Did you hear that? Yeah, it's crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, being a famous, world renowned news anchor is

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<v Speaker 1>one thing, but dating another celebrity, you know, another artist

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<v Speaker 1>late nights painting, writing songs. Not to mention all of

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<v Speaker 1>our friends or artists. So so we're able to host salons,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like I mean F Scott and Zelda and

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<v Speaker 1>Ernest Hemingway, Stephen Dorff. So you've hung out with f.

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<v Speaker 1>Scott Fitzgerald, wasn't he way before your time? No, we

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<v Speaker 1>we haven't hung out, and yes, he he passed away

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<v Speaker 1>before my parents were born, but we're also very close.

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<v Speaker 1>It's an amazing community of brilliant artists, and it's a

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<v Speaker 1>very beautiful but competitive group of friends. I mean, as

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<v Speaker 1>magical as the artist's life is, there's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>pressure on our relationship. See and I will have passionate

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<v Speaker 1>fights over music, and sometimes she she doesn't let me

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<v Speaker 1>play jazz flute over some of her tracks. It's it's confusing. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>You're lucky, Carolina. You'll you'll never have to worry about

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<v Speaker 1>being in this crowd. I I'll never have to worry

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<v Speaker 1>about being famous. Yes, it's so much better the way

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<v Speaker 1>you have it now, completely anonymous. Oh, I'm sorry, I

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<v Speaker 1>need to take this. Wait, we're in the middle of

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<v Speaker 1>the show. You're supposed to leave your phone off. Hello? Hi? Yeah? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh do you want me to uh to put this

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<v Speaker 1>on speaker? Wait? Is this real money? It's me pup stars.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you up to? Oh my god, Carolinia me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just hanging out in the podcast booth with Nick,

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<v Speaker 1>our sound guy, and some other people. I'm the only

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<v Speaker 1>other person I wanted to say hi before I got

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<v Speaker 1>on stage. I'm in Berlin. Oh wow, I am I

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<v Speaker 1>miss you so much and just a friendly reminder that

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<v Speaker 1>you're the love of my life and I'm longing for

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<v Speaker 1>your presence and I sleep with one of your wigs

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<v Speaker 1>on my pillow next to me. Who sorry, breaking breaking up?

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<v Speaker 1>We're breaking up? No no, no, no no no, Sea,

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<v Speaker 1>give me a chance. What are you talking about? We

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<v Speaker 1>did we did talk this through. I think she just

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<v Speaker 1>means hello hello hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,

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<v Speaker 1>hello hello hello. I think this place has bad reception.

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<v Speaker 1>See if you can hear me, so any word. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just gonna hold my phone up to the ceiling and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I'll get more bars. Run, get down from that chair.

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<v Speaker 1>It's on her end. She must have lost service or

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<v Speaker 1>maybe her phone died. I don't know. Does this window

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<v Speaker 1>over run? Stop? You're gonna fall out the window, Nick,

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<v Speaker 1>I need someone to help pull him back in. I

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<v Speaker 1>just need to hold my phone closer to the sun. Run.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, everything is totally fine. Calls drop all

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<v Speaker 1>the time. You have terrible service at your house. That's

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<v Speaker 1>why we always lose each other on call, Carolina, I

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<v Speaker 1>have amazing cell service at my house. Okay, when we're

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone, well, sometimes your voice begins to grade

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<v Speaker 1>on me. So I put the phone down and and

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<v Speaker 1>I just go on with my day. That's incredibly rude.

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<v Speaker 1>And I can't believe I didn't assume that was I

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<v Speaker 1>can't believe Cia left me for a model in Berlin.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know that. I mean, you're just making that up,

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<v Speaker 1>your paranoid. A lot of people feel that way when

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<v Speaker 1>they're falling in love. Have you ever seen a European model, Carolina.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't find them in your Eileen Fisher catalogs. They're gorgeous,

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<v Speaker 1>like Helen of Troy. These models have booties that can

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<v Speaker 1>launch one thousand ships. That phrase a little bit. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you fumbled your hair this morning. And I guess we

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<v Speaker 1>won't know what will happen between me and Sia, but

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<v Speaker 1>let me tell you this. If I get heartbroken, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna lose it. All right, We'll see what happens. My

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<v Speaker 1>phone is broken. I mean, that's the only explanation you'll

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<v Speaker 1>You'll have to get me another phone. I have gotten

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<v Speaker 1>you five phones over five days. She always ends up

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<v Speaker 1>reaching out. We've spent over three thousand dollars. It's it's

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<v Speaker 1>not I promise it's not your phone. Can you try

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<v Speaker 1>calling my phone? It's being so strange. I really hope

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<v Speaker 1>she's not trying to call me. I promise you every

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<v Speaker 1>person goes through this when they're dating someone they really like. Caroline,

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<v Speaker 1>is she breaking up with me? Just just give it

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<v Speaker 1>to me straight. Run. Look, I'm gonna call her and

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<v Speaker 1>tell her how much I love her. And maybe if

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<v Speaker 1>I tell her I have an incurable disease, she'll give

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<v Speaker 1>me a few more days. Or or maybe I could

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<v Speaker 1>ask her to marry me. I'm truly not prepared, but

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<v Speaker 1>I will do it if it buys me another month.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, Go pick up a fake engagement ring,

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<v Speaker 1>uh down in Chinatown, tops a fake one for that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's my high end of my budget. I can't afford

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<v Speaker 1>a real diamond right now. I spent I spent too

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<v Speaker 1>much on the phones and computer. You got a new computer.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought maybe she sent me an email, but she didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>It took three computers for me to find that out. Run.

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<v Speaker 1>I just enjoy this time. You're happy and in love

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<v Speaker 1>with an amazing woman. There are no problems. Maybe if

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<v Speaker 1>you act calm, you know, act your way into write thinking,

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<v Speaker 1>you start to feel cold. Alright, alright, alright, all, all

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<v Speaker 1>alright it's all good. I'm chill. I don't. Don't I

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<v Speaker 1>sound like whatever about it all? You sound so insane. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm chilling, I'm not worried. I'm not panicked. Quick question.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it an intrusion of privacy if I hire someone

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<v Speaker 1>to put a bug on her phone? I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to be lame. That would be not even lame. That's illegal. Alright, alright,

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<v Speaker 1>no bugs, no bugs. Just hire someone to follow her

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<v Speaker 1>around and take pictures to make sure she hasn't met

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<v Speaker 1>anyone super handsome and wonderful. Do we trust diplow? No, no,

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<v Speaker 1>we don't. But she's at work. Do you want her

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<v Speaker 1>to bother you at work? I don't give. She could

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<v Speaker 1>kidnap me and take me out of the shoal and

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<v Speaker 1>I'd never look back. I guess I shouldn't have asked.

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<v Speaker 1>Gosh almighty, this love stuff, it really takes it out

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<v Speaker 1>of you. You know it? It's worth it? I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I'm single, Yes, I know? Yes, what my friend?

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<v Speaker 1>What We're going to fix that today? Ah, We're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>cure that. We're gonna cure your singleness and most importantly,

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<v Speaker 1>your awful, pathetic loneliness. You'll be thinking your lucky stars

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<v Speaker 1>after today's episode. What did you do? Folks? Welcome to

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<v Speaker 1>the Dating Game? What what is this? Don't please don't

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<v Speaker 1>ruin my introduction with a question like, uh, that's I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what you just sounded like. Don't sound like that.

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<v Speaker 1>On the Dating Game, our contestant Carolina Barlow will be

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<v Speaker 1>asking questions from three faceless bachelors, and then she'll choose

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<v Speaker 1>the one she will marry on the show today. No one,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to marry someone on the show today. Ratings, Carolina.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on, you wouldn't get married for ratings. Okay, well,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll have to improvise something because we gotta get those downloads, sister.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll go on a date with one of them and

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<v Speaker 1>stay tuned for who that winner or loser, depending on

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<v Speaker 1>how you think about it, will be. Carolina, just marry

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<v Speaker 1>one of these guys. Are get my heart off my

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<v Speaker 1>turn off your mic because they are up my pat

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<v Speaker 1>They're way up there. Only my lower at testing right,

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<v Speaker 1>And we're back this special episode of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Today,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm your host on a special edition of the Dating Game. Carolina,

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<v Speaker 1>why don't you introduce yourself? Um? Okay, my name is Carolina.

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<v Speaker 1>I am a co host of this podcast. No no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>no no no. I mean you know your home life hobbies.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on, I like to stay at my house. I

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<v Speaker 1>work a lot. I hang out with my God, which

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<v Speaker 1>is why we are here to help her. Carolina. Behind

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<v Speaker 1>this divider, there are three bachelors. Contestants. Introduce yourselves. Batchelor

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<v Speaker 1>number one. What's up? I'm Tim Timmy, Timmy wants to Winnie.

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<v Speaker 1>Bachelor number two? Hi? Nice? Are those two people speaking

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<v Speaker 1>at once? None of your business, Let's keep going. Bachelor

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<v Speaker 1>number three, Hi, I'm Greg with Doberman and Doberman Insurance. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what what I said? Greg, No details. So

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<v Speaker 1>Bachelor number three is an insurance salesman from Doberman and

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<v Speaker 1>Doberman from Doberman and Doberman. Yes, very reputable insurance company.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's keep it moving, Carolina, why don't you ask your

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<v Speaker 1>first question? Okay, Bachelor number on, what do you like

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<v Speaker 1>to do on a night off? Great question? I know

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<v Speaker 1>the answer she's looking for. Um, Beth, Jay is actually

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<v Speaker 1>having some people over tonight. If you wanted to come, Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>is this a friend of yours? Yeah, and it'd be great,

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<v Speaker 1>if you could bring some alcohol, maybe pick them up

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<v Speaker 1>before you know. Okay, okay, enough enough out of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Batchel number one, you're already planning a date Bachelor Too.

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<v Speaker 1>Same question, Um, we would love to take you to

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<v Speaker 1>our parents house. Are those those are? Ron? I think

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<v Speaker 1>I've told you before that I didn't want to date

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<v Speaker 1>some Okay, Carolina, they're not siblings, all right, they're twins.

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<v Speaker 1>Every girl's dream. No, and they speak out together at once.

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<v Speaker 1>They certainly do. That's the way twin stock. Okay, goodbye,

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<v Speaker 1>Bachelor Too. And two, Sorry Carolina doesn't like to party.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll take a pick with you two later. Alright, by

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<v Speaker 1>bye bye guys. Well, I have a feeling you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to regret that, Carolina. Okay, Batchel number three, same question,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you like to do to get off? No,

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<v Speaker 1>that wasn't. The question was what do you like to

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<v Speaker 1>do on a night off? That's what I said. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no night off when it comes to insurance. If

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<v Speaker 1>you ever need anything, whether it be your basement has

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<v Speaker 1>flooded at two am, or if your neighbor slipped on

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<v Speaker 1>your sidewalk and is trying to suit you for an

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<v Speaker 1>exorbitant are trying to insurance. Just let him finish his pitch, Carolina,

0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.439
<v Speaker 1>our usual premium is around but for you, I could

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<v Speaker 1>make that a clean one thousand. Sounds like a date. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, I'm not looking to buy insurance at the moment. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>Carolina did not come to play. She is knocking these

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<v Speaker 1>guys down like pinballs. You said that if I came here,

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<v Speaker 1>I can make ane. We'll talk later, Greg, We'll talk later. Anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>looks like bachelor number one is your boyfriend. I'd like

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<v Speaker 1>to ask him one more question. Come on, at least

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<v Speaker 1>go on a date with a guy, go to go

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<v Speaker 1>to his friend's party. Number one, where do you see

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<v Speaker 1>yourself in five years, hopefully graduating from college. Don't don't

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<v Speaker 1>pull the divider down, it'll ruin the game. Oh my god,

0:11:53.880 --> 0:12:00.200
<v Speaker 1>he looks sixteen. Run yep, completely legal. So do you

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<v Speaker 1>think you could pick up some drinks from my friend? Carolina?

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<v Speaker 1>You are not going to find a boyfriend with that attitude.

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<v Speaker 1>You're such as I thought she'd have some sense. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>here are my keys. There's a bottle of sambuca in

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<v Speaker 1>the trunk of my Pontiac. Don't don't steal it. If

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean all right by SIPs, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>trusting you. Where did you find him? Who? Timmy? You

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<v Speaker 1>just he's a buddy of mine's kid at Eisenhower High School.

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<v Speaker 1>It runs track. So how are you feeling? I'm kind

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<v Speaker 1>of annoyed with you right now. That was the dating game.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll be right back after these messages. We are back

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<v Speaker 1>with the Ron Burgundy podcast. Well, Carolina, what a rush.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know who you were going to pick. I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to get a few things straight. Um, So

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<v Speaker 1>you told the insurance agent I would buy insurance from him.

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<v Speaker 1>I sure did. And then you told the teenager that

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<v Speaker 1>I'd buy alcohol. Well, that choice was yours to make.

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<v Speaker 1>I told him you could buy him alcohol if he

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<v Speaker 1>asked nicely. Got it. And the twins, the twins, they

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<v Speaker 1>liked you. They were good guys. I wish you would

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<v Speaker 1>considered them more. Seriously, what did you tell the twins

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<v Speaker 1>that you could get them a green card? It? Sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>they're from Canada, but they're good guys. I vetted them well,

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I had a friend vet them. We didn't need to

0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:41.440
<v Speaker 1>vet them. Ron, you don't have to worry about me.

0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:44.760
<v Speaker 1>I'll find a boyfriend. Are you sure, because I'm really

0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:49.640
<v Speaker 1>worried you'll be alone forever. Don't worry. Are you absolutely

0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 1>positive you'll find someone who likes you? Yes? Oh my god,

0:13:54.280 --> 0:14:01.720
<v Speaker 1>if you say so, run do you want to get that? Not? Really?

0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.679
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it's Sia. I can see the car idea.

0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:08.160
<v Speaker 1>It's Sia. Okay, fine, I have to do this. Might

0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:12.840
<v Speaker 1>as well just rip the band aid off. Hello, Sia,

0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.640
<v Speaker 1>ron I've been trying to reach you. I keep getting

0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 1>voice my all. Are you getting one of texts? Okay, Sia,

0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 1>this is really hard. It's just you. You know. I

0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 1>love you right yeah? And I love you more than anything.

0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.800
<v Speaker 1>It's just I thought I could do it. I really did,

0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:35.000
<v Speaker 1>but making a high profile, long distance celebrity couple of

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 1>work is a lot tougher than I thought. You know,

0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:43.240
<v Speaker 1>why can I say something please? I'm actually relieved to

0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:48.880
<v Speaker 1>hear you say that wrong. You're like a wonderful, sensitive, caring, gentle, beautiful,

0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:53.160
<v Speaker 1>handsome soul. I feel the same about you. You You

0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:55.800
<v Speaker 1>You've lit my life up in ways I didn't think

0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:59.840
<v Speaker 1>we're possible. It's just it's just our schedules are killing

0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:04.000
<v Speaker 1>me relationship. Yes, it's not fair of Tay, I know,

0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:08.280
<v Speaker 1>I've got the podcast, you've got the whole internationally famous

0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:12.280
<v Speaker 1>pop star thing going on. I mean maybe in a

0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:17.120
<v Speaker 1>different lifetime. Yeah, well, I'm so glad you feel the

0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 1>same way. This is a lot harder than I thought

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:24.520
<v Speaker 1>it was going to be. It's really tough. Okay, Well,

0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:31.760
<v Speaker 1>I have to go diploys here we're working on okay, Yeah,

0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure it'll be great. The demos are amazing. I'm

0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:40.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm just here with Carolina. I'm so sorry about that.

0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:45.840
<v Speaker 1>She's really track, isn't she She's the worst. Okay, we'll

0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:53.400
<v Speaker 1>talk soon. Yeah, Okay, goody, goodbye, see you. Okay, Yeah,

0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:57.960
<v Speaker 1>that's that's not how I wanted this to end. I

0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 1>as a friend and a co worker, I sere really hurting. Yeah, boy,

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:06.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm I am low right now, you know, but this

0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:10.000
<v Speaker 1>is what happens when you have two highly motivated, successful

0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.080
<v Speaker 1>people with careers. If we could have made it work,

0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:16.360
<v Speaker 1>we would have. I mean, she has her music and

0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:23.440
<v Speaker 1>I have well, I guess I have this show. Yeah

0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:31.560
<v Speaker 1>right mm hmm, yep, I got this show. You don't

0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:34.640
<v Speaker 1>have to sound so defeated about it. I mean I

0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:41.560
<v Speaker 1>definitely made the right decision. No, we made the right decision. Ron.

0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, but I have to say I did notice

0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.520
<v Speaker 1>she said some really nasty things about me. Oh yeah,

0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:51.160
<v Speaker 1>she hates your guts. Yeah, with a passion. She was

0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 1>seriously considering getting physically violent about it. Was going to

0:16:56.160 --> 0:17:00.720
<v Speaker 1>beat me up. She was gonna knock you out. Mama says,

0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>knocked you out. Yeah. I talked her out of it.

0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:07.960
<v Speaker 1>So well. Anyway, that's all for today for our episode

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:11.640
<v Speaker 1>of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We're all in our little

0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:15.760
<v Speaker 1>dating games, trying to figure out this crazy little thing

0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:25.840
<v Speaker 1>called love, and I nailed it. The Ron Burgundy Podcast

0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:29.240
<v Speaker 1>is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Ron Burgundy.

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.639
<v Speaker 1>The host, writer and executive producer Carolina Barlow is my

0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:37.919
<v Speaker 1>co host, writer and producer. Our producer is Nick Stuff.

0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:42.879
<v Speaker 1>Our talent coordinator is Anna Posnian. Writers are Andrew Steele

0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:47.119
<v Speaker 1>and Jake Focoised. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited

0:17:47.320 --> 0:19:39.440
<v Speaker 1>by Nick Stuff. Until next time, This is Ron Burgundy.

0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:13.760
<v Speaker 1>B