Speaker 1: Oh Romberger podcast. Hey, they're love birds and anyone in
Speaker 1: the Lonely Hearts Club. I know that some of you
Speaker 1: out there are in love and some of you just
Speaker 1: started sharing glances across the room at your a A meeting,
Speaker 1: and some of you out there, well, you're just plain
Speaker 1: stinky dinky and that's a serious SDD. Go to your
Speaker 1: local clinic and get the stinky dinky test. You could
Speaker 1: save a life your own. I have to say everything
Speaker 1: is going great with me, As some listeners may know,
Speaker 1: I'm in a beautiful and philosophically rewarding relationship with the
Speaker 1: singer songwriter Sia Carolina. Did you hear that? Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean, being a famous, world renowned news anchor is
Speaker 1: one thing, but dating another celebrity, you know, another artist
Speaker 1: late nights painting, writing songs. Not to mention all of
Speaker 1: our friends or artists. So so we're able to host salons,
Speaker 1: you know, like I mean F Scott and Zelda and
Speaker 1: Ernest Hemingway, Stephen Dorff. So you've hung out with f.
Speaker 1: Scott Fitzgerald, wasn't he way before your time? No, we
Speaker 1: we haven't hung out, and yes, he he passed away
Speaker 1: before my parents were born, but we're also very close.
Speaker 1: It's an amazing community of brilliant artists, and it's a
Speaker 1: very beautiful but competitive group of friends. I mean, as
Speaker 1: magical as the artist's life is, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: pressure on our relationship. See and I will have passionate
Speaker 1: fights over music, and sometimes she she doesn't let me
Speaker 1: play jazz flute over some of her tracks. It's it's confusing. Anyway,
Speaker 1: You're lucky, Carolina. You'll you'll never have to worry about
Speaker 1: being in this crowd. I I'll never have to worry
Speaker 1: about being famous. Yes, it's so much better the way
Speaker 1: you have it now, completely anonymous. Oh, I'm sorry, I
Speaker 1: need to take this. Wait, we're in the middle of
Speaker 1: the show. You're supposed to leave your phone off. Hello? Hi? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh do you want me to uh to put this
Speaker 1: on speaker? Wait? Is this real money? It's me pup stars.
Speaker 1: What are you up to? Oh my god, Carolinia me.
Speaker 1: I'm just hanging out in the podcast booth with Nick,
Speaker 1: our sound guy, and some other people. I'm the only
Speaker 1: other person I wanted to say hi before I got
Speaker 1: on stage. I'm in Berlin. Oh wow, I am I
Speaker 1: miss you so much and just a friendly reminder that
Speaker 1: you're the love of my life and I'm longing for
Speaker 1: your presence and I sleep with one of your wigs
Speaker 1: on my pillow next to me. Who sorry, breaking breaking up?
Speaker 1: We're breaking up? No no, no, no no no, Sea,
Speaker 1: give me a chance. What are you talking about? We
Speaker 1: did we did talk this through. I think she just
Speaker 1: means hello hello hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
Speaker 1: hello hello hello. I think this place has bad reception.
Speaker 1: See if you can hear me, so any word. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna hold my phone up to the ceiling and
Speaker 1: maybe I'll get more bars. Run, get down from that chair.
Speaker 1: It's on her end. She must have lost service or
Speaker 1: maybe her phone died. I don't know. Does this window
Speaker 1: over run? Stop? You're gonna fall out the window, Nick,
Speaker 1: I need someone to help pull him back in. I
Speaker 1: just need to hold my phone closer to the sun. Run.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, everything is totally fine. Calls drop all
Speaker 1: the time. You have terrible service at your house. That's
Speaker 1: why we always lose each other on call, Carolina, I
Speaker 1: have amazing cell service at my house. Okay, when we're
Speaker 1: on the phone, well, sometimes your voice begins to grade
Speaker 1: on me. So I put the phone down and and
Speaker 1: I just go on with my day. That's incredibly rude.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe I didn't assume that was I
Speaker 1: can't believe Cia left me for a model in Berlin.
Speaker 1: You don't know that. I mean, you're just making that up,
Speaker 1: your paranoid. A lot of people feel that way when
Speaker 1: they're falling in love. Have you ever seen a European model, Carolina.
Speaker 1: You won't find them in your Eileen Fisher catalogs. They're gorgeous,
Speaker 1: like Helen of Troy. These models have booties that can
Speaker 1: launch one thousand ships. That phrase a little bit. Well,
Speaker 1: you fumbled your hair this morning. And I guess we
Speaker 1: won't know what will happen between me and Sia, but
Speaker 1: let me tell you this. If I get heartbroken, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lose it. All right, We'll see what happens. My
Speaker 1: phone is broken. I mean, that's the only explanation you'll
Speaker 1: You'll have to get me another phone. I have gotten
Speaker 1: you five phones over five days. She always ends up
Speaker 1: reaching out. We've spent over three thousand dollars. It's it's
Speaker 1: not I promise it's not your phone. Can you try
Speaker 1: calling my phone? It's being so strange. I really hope
Speaker 1: she's not trying to call me. I promise you every
Speaker 1: person goes through this when they're dating someone they really like. Caroline,
Speaker 1: is she breaking up with me? Just just give it
Speaker 1: to me straight. Run. Look, I'm gonna call her and
Speaker 1: tell her how much I love her. And maybe if
Speaker 1: I tell her I have an incurable disease, she'll give
Speaker 1: me a few more days. Or or maybe I could
Speaker 1: ask her to marry me. I'm truly not prepared, but
Speaker 1: I will do it if it buys me another month.
Speaker 1: You know what, Go pick up a fake engagement ring,
Speaker 1: uh down in Chinatown, tops a fake one for that's
Speaker 1: that's my high end of my budget. I can't afford
Speaker 1: a real diamond right now. I spent I spent too
Speaker 1: much on the phones and computer. You got a new computer.
Speaker 1: I thought maybe she sent me an email, but she didn't.
Speaker 1: It took three computers for me to find that out. Run.
Speaker 1: I just enjoy this time. You're happy and in love
Speaker 1: with an amazing woman. There are no problems. Maybe if
Speaker 1: you act calm, you know, act your way into write thinking,
Speaker 1: you start to feel cold. Alright, alright, alright, all, all
Speaker 1: alright it's all good. I'm chill. I don't. Don't I
Speaker 1: sound like whatever about it all? You sound so insane. No,
Speaker 1: I'm chilling, I'm not worried. I'm not panicked. Quick question.
Speaker 1: Is it an intrusion of privacy if I hire someone
Speaker 1: to put a bug on her phone? I don't want
Speaker 1: to be lame. That would be not even lame. That's illegal. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: no bugs, no bugs. Just hire someone to follow her
Speaker 1: around and take pictures to make sure she hasn't met
Speaker 1: anyone super handsome and wonderful. Do we trust diplow? No, no,
Speaker 1: we don't. But she's at work. Do you want her
Speaker 1: to bother you at work? I don't give. She could
Speaker 1: kidnap me and take me out of the shoal and
Speaker 1: I'd never look back. I guess I shouldn't have asked.
Speaker 1: Gosh almighty, this love stuff, it really takes it out
Speaker 1: of you. You know it? It's worth it? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm single, Yes, I know? Yes, what my friend?
Speaker 1: What We're going to fix that today? Ah, We're gonna
Speaker 1: cure that. We're gonna cure your singleness and most importantly,
Speaker 1: your awful, pathetic loneliness. You'll be thinking your lucky stars
Speaker 1: after today's episode. What did you do? Folks? Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Dating Game? What what is this? Don't please don't
Speaker 1: ruin my introduction with a question like, uh, that's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's what you just sounded like. Don't sound like that.
Speaker 1: On the Dating Game, our contestant Carolina Barlow will be
Speaker 1: asking questions from three faceless bachelors, and then she'll choose
Speaker 1: the one she will marry on the show today. No one,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to marry someone on the show today. Ratings, Carolina.
Speaker 1: Come on, you wouldn't get married for ratings. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: we'll have to improvise something because we gotta get those downloads, sister.
Speaker 1: I'll go on a date with one of them and
Speaker 1: stay tuned for who that winner or loser, depending on
Speaker 1: how you think about it, will be. Carolina, just marry
Speaker 1: one of these guys. Are get my heart off my
Speaker 1: turn off your mic because they are up my pat
Speaker 1: They're way up there. Only my lower at testing right,
Speaker 1: And we're back this special episode of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Today,
Speaker 1: I'm your host on a special edition of the Dating Game. Carolina,
Speaker 1: why don't you introduce yourself? Um? Okay, my name is Carolina.
Speaker 1: I am a co host of this podcast. No no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no. I mean you know your home life hobbies.
Speaker 1: Come on, I like to stay at my house. I
Speaker 1: work a lot. I hang out with my God, which
Speaker 1: is why we are here to help her. Carolina. Behind
Speaker 1: this divider, there are three bachelors. Contestants. Introduce yourselves. Batchelor
Speaker 1: number one. What's up? I'm Tim Timmy, Timmy wants to Winnie.
Speaker 1: Bachelor number two? Hi? Nice? Are those two people speaking
Speaker 1: at once? None of your business, Let's keep going. Bachelor
Speaker 1: number three, Hi, I'm Greg with Doberman and Doberman Insurance. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what what I said? Greg, No details. So
Speaker 1: Bachelor number three is an insurance salesman from Doberman and
Speaker 1: Doberman from Doberman and Doberman. Yes, very reputable insurance company.
Speaker 1: Let's keep it moving, Carolina, why don't you ask your
Speaker 1: first question? Okay, Bachelor number on, what do you like
Speaker 1: to do on a night off? Great question? I know
Speaker 1: the answer she's looking for. Um, Beth, Jay is actually
Speaker 1: having some people over tonight. If you wanted to come, Oh,
Speaker 1: is this a friend of yours? Yeah, and it'd be great,
Speaker 1: if you could bring some alcohol, maybe pick them up
Speaker 1: before you know. Okay, okay, enough enough out of you.
Speaker 1: Batchel number one, you're already planning a date Bachelor Too.
Speaker 1: Same question, Um, we would love to take you to
Speaker 1: our parents house. Are those those are? Ron? I think
Speaker 1: I've told you before that I didn't want to date
Speaker 1: some Okay, Carolina, they're not siblings, all right, they're twins.
Speaker 1: Every girl's dream. No, and they speak out together at once.
Speaker 1: They certainly do. That's the way twin stock. Okay, goodbye,
Speaker 1: Bachelor Too. And two, Sorry Carolina doesn't like to party.
Speaker 1: I'll take a pick with you two later. Alright, by
Speaker 1: bye bye guys. Well, I have a feeling you're going
Speaker 1: to regret that, Carolina. Okay, Batchel number three, same question,
Speaker 1: what do you like to do to get off? No,
Speaker 1: that wasn't. The question was what do you like to
Speaker 1: do on a night off? That's what I said. Well,
Speaker 1: there's no night off when it comes to insurance. If
Speaker 1: you ever need anything, whether it be your basement has
Speaker 1: flooded at two am, or if your neighbor slipped on
Speaker 1: your sidewalk and is trying to suit you for an
Speaker 1: exorbitant are trying to insurance. Just let him finish his pitch, Carolina,
Speaker 1: our usual premium is around but for you, I could
Speaker 1: make that a clean one thousand. Sounds like a date. No,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm not looking to buy insurance at the moment. Wow,
Speaker 1: Carolina did not come to play. She is knocking these
Speaker 1: guys down like pinballs. You said that if I came here,
Speaker 1: I can make ane. We'll talk later, Greg, We'll talk later. Anyways,
Speaker 1: looks like bachelor number one is your boyfriend. I'd like
Speaker 1: to ask him one more question. Come on, at least
Speaker 1: go on a date with a guy, go to go
Speaker 1: to his friend's party. Number one, where do you see
Speaker 1: yourself in five years, hopefully graduating from college. Don't don't
Speaker 1: pull the divider down, it'll ruin the game. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: he looks sixteen. Run yep, completely legal. So do you
Speaker 1: think you could pick up some drinks from my friend? Carolina?
Speaker 1: You are not going to find a boyfriend with that attitude.
Speaker 1: You're such as I thought she'd have some sense. Look,
Speaker 1: here are my keys. There's a bottle of sambuca in
Speaker 1: the trunk of my Pontiac. Don't don't steal it. If
Speaker 1: you know what I mean all right by SIPs, I'm
Speaker 1: trusting you. Where did you find him? Who? Timmy? You
Speaker 1: just he's a buddy of mine's kid at Eisenhower High School.
Speaker 1: It runs track. So how are you feeling? I'm kind
Speaker 1: of annoyed with you right now. That was the dating game.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these messages. We are back
Speaker 1: with the Ron Burgundy podcast. Well, Carolina, what a rush.
Speaker 1: I didn't know who you were going to pick. I
Speaker 1: just want to get a few things straight. Um, So
Speaker 1: you told the insurance agent I would buy insurance from him.
Speaker 1: I sure did. And then you told the teenager that
Speaker 1: I'd buy alcohol. Well, that choice was yours to make.
Speaker 1: I told him you could buy him alcohol if he
Speaker 1: asked nicely. Got it. And the twins, the twins, they
Speaker 1: liked you. They were good guys. I wish you would
Speaker 1: considered them more. Seriously, what did you tell the twins
Speaker 1: that you could get them a green card? It? Sorry,
Speaker 1: they're from Canada, but they're good guys. I vetted them well,
Speaker 1: I had a friend vet them. We didn't need to
Speaker 1: vet them. Ron, you don't have to worry about me.
Speaker 1: I'll find a boyfriend. Are you sure, because I'm really
Speaker 1: worried you'll be alone forever. Don't worry. Are you absolutely
Speaker 1: positive you'll find someone who likes you? Yes? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: if you say so, run do you want to get that? Not? Really?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's Sia. I can see the car idea.
Speaker 1: It's Sia. Okay, fine, I have to do this. Might
Speaker 1: as well just rip the band aid off. Hello, Sia,
Speaker 1: ron I've been trying to reach you. I keep getting
Speaker 1: voice my all. Are you getting one of texts? Okay, Sia,
Speaker 1: this is really hard. It's just you. You know. I
Speaker 1: love you right yeah? And I love you more than anything.
Speaker 1: It's just I thought I could do it. I really did,
Speaker 1: but making a high profile, long distance celebrity couple of
Speaker 1: work is a lot tougher than I thought. You know,
Speaker 1: why can I say something please? I'm actually relieved to
Speaker 1: hear you say that wrong. You're like a wonderful, sensitive, caring, gentle, beautiful,
Speaker 1: handsome soul. I feel the same about you. You You
Speaker 1: You've lit my life up in ways I didn't think
Speaker 1: we're possible. It's just it's just our schedules are killing
Speaker 1: me relationship. Yes, it's not fair of Tay, I know,
Speaker 1: I've got the podcast, you've got the whole internationally famous
Speaker 1: pop star thing going on. I mean maybe in a
Speaker 1: different lifetime. Yeah, well, I'm so glad you feel the
Speaker 1: same way. This is a lot harder than I thought
Speaker 1: it was going to be. It's really tough. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I have to go diploys here we're working on okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure it'll be great. The demos are amazing. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm just here with Carolina. I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 1: She's really track, isn't she She's the worst. Okay, we'll
Speaker 1: talk soon. Yeah, Okay, goody, goodbye, see you. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's not how I wanted this to end. I
Speaker 1: as a friend and a co worker, I sere really hurting. Yeah, boy,
Speaker 1: I'm I am low right now, you know, but this
Speaker 1: is what happens when you have two highly motivated, successful
Speaker 1: people with careers. If we could have made it work,
Speaker 1: we would have. I mean, she has her music and
Speaker 1: I have well, I guess I have this show. Yeah
Speaker 1: right mm hmm, yep, I got this show. You don't
Speaker 1: have to sound so defeated about it. I mean I
Speaker 1: definitely made the right decision. No, we made the right decision. Ron.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I have to say I did notice
Speaker 1: she said some really nasty things about me. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: she hates your guts. Yeah, with a passion. She was
Speaker 1: seriously considering getting physically violent about it. Was going to
Speaker 1: beat me up. She was gonna knock you out. Mama says,
Speaker 1: knocked you out. Yeah. I talked her out of it.
Speaker 1: So well. Anyway, that's all for today for our episode
Speaker 1: of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We're all in our little
Speaker 1: dating games, trying to figure out this crazy little thing
Speaker 1: called love, and I nailed it. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Ron Burgundy.
Speaker 1: The host, writer and executive producer Carolina Barlow is my
Speaker 1: co host, writer and producer. Our producer is Nick Stuff.
Speaker 1: Our talent coordinator is Anna Posnian. Writers are Andrew Steele
Speaker 1: and Jake Focoised. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited
Speaker 1: by Nick Stuff. Until next time, This is Ron Burgundy.
Speaker 1: B