WEBVTT - This Weeks Best Of The Breakfast Club 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:04.880 I heart Radio, now number one for podcasting, presents Sunday 0:00:04.960 --> 0:00:07.320 Night podcast. Every Sunday, we played one of the most 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:09.520 played and most listened to and most share podcasts of 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.000 the week from a two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:14.240 available in the free i heeart Radio app. Find your 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:17.000 next favorite podcast on iHeart Radio. This week is The 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:22.560 Breakfast Club thirty morning. Everybody is j Envy Angela Yee, 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:24.799 Charlomagne the guy we are to Breakfast Club. We got 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:28.560 a special guest in the building never matter before. She's 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:32.400 an actress, she's an author, she's a mom. Ladies and gentlemen, 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:37.200 is your wife my wife? Yes? Gel Hello, welcome? Yeah? 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:42.200 What that's this one name? She's like Madonna beyond Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.440 How nervous are you, sir? Seriously? I know he's been 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:51.320 actually real weird. You guys have a book out, Real Life, 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:53.720 Real Love Life, Lesson to Enjoy Pain and the magic 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:56.400 that holds us together. And I've been dying to ask 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:00.080 you this question gear in person or board room, do 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:04.600 you feel about and be flirting with each other every day? Um? 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:19.280 Kind of turns me on and expect that answer Okay, 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.920 explain No, I mean, I mean, I think it's a 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:28.200 little strange, but I'm amused by it. Does anything go 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:31.000 too far? Ever? Or no? It's all in good fun 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.080 and enter all it is. I don't mind it, So 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:34.800 you didn't mind it when he gave me the ass 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:40.800 first of all, contact everybody doesn't watch the show every day. 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:44.720 Context Please, Okay, what can you guys sound by that? 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.120 When he gave me a mold of his ass and 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:51.120 it wasn't my ass, It was a molde of a ass. Yes, 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:53.160 I thought it was the mold of your actual No. No, 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:57.400 And then what about when they touch each other and 0:01:57.440 --> 0:01:59.880 stuff that's never happened. We don't touch me, don't spy. 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.760 You've never seen them. That hasn't happened. You want to 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.160 tell me something I need to know now. They like 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.240 rub up brush against each other. If they're walking out 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:08.960 the door, go tring to rub up against each other. 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:11.959 We don't have to do it. They're going toolving door together. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:16.880 That happened one time. Explain that now I need to answer. 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:19.480 It was stupid. I don't even know how that happen. Really, 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:22.080 it was really stupid. It was really that it had 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:24.960 to be very intentional. It wasn't. I don't even know how. 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:30.080 And then one makes his way around was so stupid, 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:33.720 and giggle because it was so stupid. Giggle all the 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.520 way through it, you guys, you added, insulted. You're sitting 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:44.680 there in the one slot giggling together. Oh man. Anyway, 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:47.799 back to the matter at hand, real life, real love? 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:51.040 What is that magic that holds y'all together? You think? 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:55.600 How you know? Um? Whenever I find that people come 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:59.040 to our house or are around us, I think they're 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.240 kind of surprised how much fun we have together. I 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:06.280 find him to be very charming and Charismaticum, And one 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:08.200 of the things that I love most about him is 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:10.920 his boyish nature. So we really have a lot of 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:14.080 fun together, and we always had since we first met. 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.720 The first week we spent together, I thought to myself, Wow, 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.760 he's a lot of fun. Like he's he's like a friend, 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.680 you know, And that's part of the magic. You knew 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:24.160 that this was the person you can spend the rest 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:26.880 of your life with after about two weeks of knowing him. Yes, 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:31.960 he knew before you even spent a day together. Explain 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:34.880 before before we even spent a day together, that one 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:36.600 when I first when I first seen you, I mean 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:38.480 I wrote in a book that I thought you were 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.240 beautiful and amazing in the first time I saw you 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.040 were actually running track and for people I don't know, 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:50.200 you know, tracks, paying track like that outfit and you 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.360 know Gia had, you know, big double d's, And I 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:55.560 would stop basically stalker outside and just watch a run 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.400 track and watch a breast bottle like that word don't 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:00.560 say stalk, you know what it's stalking, But that's actually 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:03.800 what he was doing was it was actually stalking. And 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.800 I would see him. I would see him the bidding 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:11.040 with his friends in this bright blue con Edison van 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:13.760 because that's what his parents bought him to trans to 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:17.520 transfer his DJ equipment from Sweet sixteen to Sweet sixteen 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:22.040 at the time. And I would see it parked behind 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.840 the fence some thinking to myself, like, yo, why is 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:34.400 this van there? Every day it tried cracked. Yeah, it 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.680 was bright blue. He wasn't low, he was not low. 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:43.599 And then one day he emerged. Actually, babe, do you 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.760 remember one day he emerged from the van and approached 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:48.880 me and kicked it and I was like, oh, so 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:54.080 you're that weirdough we both kids. Yeah, she was fifteen, 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:55.559 I was sixteen. We went to the same high school. 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:57.919 So so and but you say that you knew that 0:04:58.000 --> 0:04:59.720 she was going to be your wife, like right away? 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.919 You think it was before y'all even spoke was stalking her? 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.680 We actually know when we actually spoke, and you know, 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:08.679 I found out how you know, beautiful she was inside 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:12.120 and outside, and how smart she was and caring and 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.159 she was just that she was the one. She was 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.040 the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:17.920 and the most precious things. So I was like, this 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.599 is going to be my wife. I want people to 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:22.560 get the book, but I do want, you know, to 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:26.279 explain how do you keep reinventing the relationship when you 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.480 start that young? Now interviews fifty something, you know what 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.200 I mean, you're much much younger, But how how do 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:35.040 you keep how do you reinvent? How do you keep reinventing? 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.320 And I think that that's part of the magic. We 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.159 don't have to try. We don't intentionally. We do a 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:45.160 lot of things intentionally and deliberately, but we don't intentionally 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.720 reimagine the relationship and act on that. The only thing 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.960 that I would say that where um good about is 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.680 keeping it sexy and making sure that that part of 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:58.400 our relationship doesn't get too monotonous and doesn't get stale. 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.880 So we have a lot of fun in that space. Um, 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:03.960 but we don't have to think of, God, how am 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.680 I gonna stop being bored of you? Or how am 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:07.760 I going to get to a point where you don't 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.920 annoy me anymore? He legitimately does not annoy me. I 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:14.520 look forward to his phone calls every day, and we 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:17.040 probably speak on the phone about maybe eight or nine 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:19.960 ten times a day because he's away a lot, you know. 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:21.719 So he calls me on his way to the breakfast club, 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:23.400 He calls man his way home from the breakfast club, 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.560 He calls me. If something happens, he calls me incessantly. 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:28.960 It's and I'm never like oh you again, I'm like 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.920 him again. You know. It's just that feeling that I've 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:35.640 always had that no matter what ups or downs we 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:38.240 were going through, that never left me. Now, he tell 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:41.560 this a story about the cowboy outfit. Told you about that? 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:45.560 Yeah wait, wait wait the cowboy outfit in college, the 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.880 assss chats, that ass chat they were Yeah, you tell 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.120 this about Oh wait, did you actually tell me like 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.640 on error and private he did, because if it was 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:59.440 in private, this is a whole double cross, right, he 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:04.200 jested as the cowboy and his he had. Remember that day, Okay, 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.120 I remember that, digga. After he told the story, he goes, 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:12.560 not like what he did when we were in college. Yeah, 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.640 we went through a stage where we were doing like 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:18.600 a lot of role play. Yeah, and one night I 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:20.560 dared him to be a cowboy. So we went and 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:24.080 got the cowboy half. It had like the big brown hat, 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.480 and then he had like the little holsters and everything, 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.720 and babe, do you remember I took pictures? Where are those? 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:34.200 Are they in the book? He about maybe um three 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:37.840 years after he made me physically burn them on the grill. Wow, 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.200 he put them on the grill and told me how 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.040 to light it. Yeah, they don't exist. Don't you wish 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.240 you still had that? No, but y'all talk about role 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:45.560 play in the book. You said he likes to put 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:47.960 on the rock Nation paper plane hat and he goes, 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:49.600 what's my name? And he wants you to say jiggle. 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.280 I didn't contribute to that chapter. Okay, that wasn't my work. No, 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.560 I didn't do it. Okay, So wait, they really so 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.320 he wasn't lying. They were asked with chaps. Yeah, yeah, 0:07:58.360 --> 0:07:59.720 he had a whole. It was a whole thing. I 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.120 just well the Uaugia. He did not tell us that. 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.120 Damn it to hell. Get my book and you will 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:12.320 learn a slew of tactics what you want out of life. Okay, 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:14.000 it was a holster by the way, they were holsters. 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.119 It was a whole, but it was some other dressed 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:19.560 up things. You go right, Um, it was more so me, 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:22.160 okay dressing up and he was just like the recipient 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:24.360 of that that that was a one little and that's 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:25.680 why it was a dare because it was kind of 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.440 supposed to be a joke. But he never really dressed 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.760 up one time I was he was a doctor. That 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:33.000 was once. Did you really burn the pictures? I really 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:39.000 did really in front of him. Wow, you didn't have negatives? 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:42.520 Were going to share that they never goes left in 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.760 a relationship. I had that I will ruin his entire reputation, 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:49.480 I will never be able to work again, and I 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:54.199 question them over to a new audience. The free IHR 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:56.840 radio app has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts 0:08:56.880 --> 0:09:00.440 to explode. Yes, this is the Breakfast Club, third part 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.480 of Sunday Night podcast on iHeartRadio. We got a special 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.280 guest staling to building my wife, Gea Casey. We're talking 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.440 about our new book, Real Life, Real Love Life Lessons 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:11.880 on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together. 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:13.920 You could pick it up today, or you can get 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:15.520 it on an audible and kin do it or wherever 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:18.080 you get your books. Yee, how is if it both 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.440 of you writing his book together. Some of it was fun, 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:22.760 It was nice to be creative and get your thoughts 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:26.960 down on paper. It was work, but a lot of 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:31.720 it was difficult. I'm a very open person. Rashawn I 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:34.559 think had a difficult time because he had to relive 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:39.000 a lot of the negative things that transpired in our relationship. 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:44.240 And he can tend to be surface in some respects 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.440 where you ask him a question, he gives you an answer. 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:49.040 I'm a lot more of an in depth person, you know. 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:52.280 I think critically about things, and when we would go 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:55.400 over these chapters that he's assigned to write, I would 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:58.600 ask him questions like, Okay, you can't just answer it 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:00.680 with a yes or a no or a full blanket 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:04.040 like one question would mean ten more questions. To really 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.080 get to the meet. And you know, I had to 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.760 keep reiterating, we're writing this book so that people have 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:13.040 something tangible, a reference point for them to make changes 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.960 in their lives if necessary, or to recognize that the 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.520 person that you're with needs to make changes in their lives. 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:22.280 And it was a journey. It was a journey, but 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:24.640 I think it was difficult. For it was difficult. I 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:26.600 had to relive a lot of the the f boyish 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:29.240 I put you through. And you don't you forget about 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.120 a lot of it because you don't have to relive it. 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.800 But then when you start, no, you forget about forget 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:38.200 I forget nothing at the point though, right, because it's like, 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:43.800 we don't realize how much we do hurt? Are women? Yeah? 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.360 I think so? I don't think we realize how deep that. 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.480 That sounds like an oaky doke to me. No, I 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.400 don't think we Until you actually sit down and have 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:54.040 those you know, uncomfortable conversations, you don't realize how much 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:58.440 you your wife cheated on you and told you that 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.559 she would have no idea, Yeah, how much that it 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:04.080 stood to hurt you? Would that make sense to you? 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:07.520 Probably not? But I mean men don't make sense. You 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:11.120 believe that you believe that you're born inherently with like 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.280 a deficit, not a deficit. But I just don't think. 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.560 I don't think. I don't think we're thinking about it, 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:17.120 you know what I mean, Like we like that's the 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:19.640 sad part. It's selfish and that's what keeps that's what 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:21.719 keeps you from doing it in the future, you know 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:23.360 what I mean, because you do not want to hurt 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:25.480 the woman that you love. And it's so crazy because 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:27.000 I saw that with my pops, Like I saw the 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:30.280 pain that that caused my mom with his infidelity. So 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:32.079 in my mind, I was like, damn, I'm about to 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.160 do make the same mistake. So I think it is 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:35.840 difficult when you got to relive it because you don't 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.640 want to talk about it because you don't want to 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:40.160 trigger you. You know, some people if I don't get 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:52.160 triggered though, man, but that scared me. Sity. No. Once 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:54.000 I got to a point, and it was a process. 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.880 Once I got to a point where um, I accepted 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:02.040 that it was my job job to move on because 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:06.400 I decided to forgive him, and because because he had 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:11.280 done all of the work and then some to regain 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:15.800 my trust to earn grace from me. I got to 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:18.520 a point where I no longer wanted to punish and 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:22.040 I didn't have that inherent need to see him suffer. 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:24.839 Because when you hurt, and you say it all the time, 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:28.320 hurt people, hurt people. When you're hurt, you want not 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:31.240 just people, you want the person that hurt you to hurt. 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.800 And any time that I felt any type of way, 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.320 I made sure that he felt some type of way. 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:39.520 So once I learned how to forgive, and that was 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.959 a process because I wasn't necessarily a forgiving person before 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.120 everything was very black and white to me, not very 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:49.960 much gray. But once I learned and I understood that 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:53.360 that's what was expected from me of God, I had 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:56.680 to commit to that and do my best to live 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.280 up to what forgiveness meant. And that's what set free 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.000 Because when you forgive, you don't forgive to ease the 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.360 burden from the other person. You forgive to ease the 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.959 burden from you. Well, the work you guys did together, 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.760 like you had to work on forgiveness and when you 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:15.240 said Okay, I'm gonna you know, have to move on 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.640 from this. But what was the work that he did that. 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:22.000 Let you know, Okay, he's serious, and you know I 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:25.319 can finally just say I'm not getting triggered anymore. I'm 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.160 gonna let this go. One of the first things was 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:33.840 I realized that he understood the impact of what had happened, 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:37.800 what he did, He understood it. He didn't just accept 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:42.679 it and was accountable for it, but he actually understood. 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:45.520 He would do things that a lot of men wouldn't do. 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.839 He would sit there through those eight hour conversations locked 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:52.400 in a room. He answered every question that I had, 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:56.000 and I had a lot of questions, and he answered 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.320 them all truthfully. And you know when you asked somebody 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:02.520 a question and you can tell by their answer, because 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.280 I mean, the answers weren't pretty. There weren't things that 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.360 I would have wanted to hear. He went through all 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.600 of the sufferation, as I call it, and he did 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:15.559 it until because a lot of guys when they mess up, 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:17.880 and I mean a lot of them have told me. 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.440 I have friends and that have gone through it. It's like, listen, 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.760 I did it. I apologize, I said I was never 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.120 going to do it again. I mean that ish, But 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:29.880 it's like every day I'm being punished. I'm being punished, 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:32.160 I'm being remindeds like let it go, I apologize, Like 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.240 what more do you want from me? Blood? He never 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:39.640 took that approach with me. It was the until, until 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.560 you are good, until you are healed. If I have 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.320 to be a punching bag, I will be that. If 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:46.040 I have to be a doormat, I will be that. 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.320 I will do anything that it makes to survive this 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:53.240 because I cannot be without you. And he proved it 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.240 every single day. It was as though and he was 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.440 like this before, but it was even more so during 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.120 this time. It was as though he communicated to me 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:04.080 that the only thing that he wanted was to make 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.800 me happy. And that's pretty much how he lives his life. 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.000 He lives his life every day waking up thinking like, damn, 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.200 how can I make gars life easier today? How can 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.880 I make Gia happier today? But to answer your question, 0:15:14.920 --> 0:15:17.520 it was the until. It was the indefinite, and it 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.440 was the willingness to do any and everything to earn 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:22.720 what he lost back. And he was there ever a 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:24.960 question in your mind. I know there was a point 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.680 when you thought, no matter what I do, she's never 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:29.920 gonna take me back. There ever a time when you 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:31.800 were like, I'm gonna come over and huge him. Let 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:36.440 you know, you him back if you cried in front 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:44.440 of your wife, catch that little field. At that point, 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.000 I just, you know, I didn't know what was going 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:47.800 to happen, but I was like, I have to be 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.600 honest or at least get my friend back, you know. 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.440 Um And at that point, I you know, I didn't 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:54.680 know what Gear was gonna do. I thought it was 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:56.480 a rap, but I was like, I still wanted my friend. 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.520 I still wanted somebody I can talk to, you know, 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:00.800 I still wanted in a relationship. Whether that we can 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:02.560 bounce me like that. She's all I knew since I 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.120 was sixteen. So I still wanted my friend back. And 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:08.840 she's that could have been forever beef. But you know, 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:10.920 it's interesting that you didn't kick him out of the house. 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.280 You were still polite to him, You still wanted to 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:17.600 maintain a co parenting friendship. I feel like that hurts 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:21.080 more when you're like, we're not having sex and I 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:24.520 might end up with somebody else one day, but you 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.920 know we're cool. That hurts more that I think sometimes 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.040 in just completely like being nasty to somebody and cutting 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:34.760 them off. Yes, well, when I found out divorce was imminent, 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:38.520 it was never a question. I was raised by a 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:43.160 very strong mother who taught me that if a man 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.880 ever disrespects you to that degree, then you walk. So 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:50.200 it didn't matter how much I loved with Sean and 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:52.600 how much I would have missed him, and it didn't 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.640 matter if I cried every night. It did not matter 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:59.800 one iota how I felt. The Only thing that was 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.880 important to me was that I operated with my head 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.760 and not my heart, and that I did what I 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.440 always said that I was going to do. So when 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:10.159 I found out, when it was confirmed for me, and 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:13.280 you can read the book and see the entire no, 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:16.040 you want you to go, get the entire story. But 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.400 when he confirmed it, we were in a parking lot, 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.719 and when I drove away from that parking lot, it 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.280 was a few days before Christmas and his mother was 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.240 at the house helping me decorate because we were hosting 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:28.639 that year. But I walked into the house and I 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:33.240 told her, I said, Christmas is canceled. And she said 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:36.800 Christmas is canceled, and I said, well, I just found 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:40.120 out that Rashwan cheated on me, and We're getting a divorce, 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.080 so there's not gonna be any Christmas this year, at 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:46.000 least I'm not hosting. It's wild that people actually canceled Christmas. 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:47.680 I thought that was just a figures fee. No, no, 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:53.800 if this happened, we canceled Christmas Chas, Yeah, Christmas well 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:55.960 in the sense of us hosting. And I wasn't going 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.480 to cancel it for our children. But you know, we 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:00.640 didn't have to decorate for thirty people to come over. 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:06.800 And my lovely mother in law, my mama, she defended 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:11.760 her beautiful son with everything that she could because pretty much, 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.440 and when she said something to that effect, I said, 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:17.639 but for the fact that he just told me that 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:22.600 it was true. And he came home maybe twenty or 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:26.480 thirty minutes later, and it was a whole thing, right. 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.720 But I was adamant that we were getting a divorce. 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:35.920 That contacted an attorney, paid an attorney. It was decided. 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:41.480 But thankfully, there were a whole host of things that 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:47.879 happened that that convinced me that God had other plans. 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:51.480 I Heart Radio for podcast Discovery. This is the Breakfast 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:55.920 Club thirty your chance to hear the biggest trending podcast 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.560 each week from the Free iHeartRadio app. We're here talking 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:02.159 about our new book, Real Life, Real Love. What did 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.080 God say to you? You know, I wasn't raised with 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:10.680 this um deeply instilled faith where I felt as though 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:14.520 I knew God and I lived differently because I didn't 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:18.560 know God in that way. So when God revealed himself 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:22.000 to me, and he may have tried for years, you see, 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:24.680 but I wouldn't have I didn't speak his language. I 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:26.879 would have never been able to interpret God trying to 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:30.080 reach out to me. So I really believe that this 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.960 happened so that me, particularly not even Rashawn, so that 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:38.320 I could be humbled. When God spoke, he spoke through 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:41.240 other people, and when he found when I found out 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:45.640 what happened. It's funny we were being approached for reality 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:52.080 shows at the time, and when he took someone's terrible 0:19:52.119 --> 0:20:01.800 advice to apologize to me on the radio and make 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:07.159 our personal woes private. Yeah, our personal woes Publicum. I 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:09.639 didn't know though. I didn't know what he was going through. 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:13.000 He just be he'd be laying on the I didn't 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:14.719 know what he'd be like out of it. I'm like, yo, 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:16.679 what the is your problem? I didn't know what it was. 0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:19.320 So as I'm priding him, like, what the hell is 0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:22.200 going on? I didn't know that was coming. Oh okay, yeah, 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.240 I didn't know that was the one he apologized. You 0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:26.520 didn't know what apologize. He would literally come in here 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:28.560 and be like laid out on the floor in the 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:31.399 fetal position the whole show, Like he would not be 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:33.320 here with us, he wouldn't be present, and I just 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.520 knew something was wrong. Apologize. I'm like, no. I was like, 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:38.080 when he gets on the air, I'm gonna ask him 0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:39.879 on the air with the because his problem, and I 0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:42.119 was tired of asking him behind the scenes, and so 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:43.680 I asked him on the air. I didn't know that 0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:46.240 was coming. Though. It was a terrible idea, But maybe 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:48.199 it was the same dose of common sense that you 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:52.320 guys are talking about. Men the same thing anyway, man 0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:58.000 think differently. Yes, But when it was made public, my 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:00.720 one of my best friends, his name is Rashid, he's 0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:03.000 the husband of my other best friend, her name is Sasha. 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:07.000 He called to see if what he had heard was 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:09.600 true because he thought that maybe it was just something 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:11.639 being drummed up because we're supposed to be on a 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:13.600 reality show or something like that. And when he called, 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:16.120 I said, no, everything that you heard is absolutely true. 0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:19.240 It's it's a terrible story. Um as you said. You know, 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:24.080