1 00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: I heart Radio, now number one for podcasting, presents Sunday 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: Night podcast. Every Sunday, we played one of the most 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: played and most listened to and most share podcasts of 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: the week from a two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: available in the free i heeart Radio app. Find your 6 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: next favorite podcast on iHeart Radio. This week is The 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: Breakfast Club thirty morning. Everybody is j Envy Angela Yee, 8 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,799 Speaker 1: Charlomagne the guy we are to Breakfast Club. We got 9 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 1: a special guest in the building never matter before. She's 10 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: an actress, she's an author, she's a mom. Ladies and gentlemen, 11 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: is your wife my wife? Yes? Gel Hello, welcome? Yeah? 12 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: What that's this one name? She's like Madonna beyond Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 13 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: How nervous are you, sir? Seriously? I know he's been 14 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: actually real weird. You guys have a book out, Real Life, 15 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: Real Love Life, Lesson to Enjoy Pain and the magic 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: that holds us together. And I've been dying to ask 17 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: you this question gear in person or board room, do 18 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: you feel about and be flirting with each other every day? Um? 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: Kind of turns me on and expect that answer Okay, 20 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: explain No, I mean, I mean, I think it's a 21 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: little strange, but I'm amused by it. Does anything go 22 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: too far? Ever? Or no? It's all in good fun 23 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: and enter all it is. I don't mind it, So 24 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: you didn't mind it when he gave me the ass 25 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: first of all, contact everybody doesn't watch the show every day. 26 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: Context Please, Okay, what can you guys sound by that? 27 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: When he gave me a mold of his ass and 28 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: it wasn't my ass, It was a molde of a ass. Yes, 29 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: I thought it was the mold of your actual No. No, 30 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: And then what about when they touch each other and 31 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: stuff that's never happened. We don't touch me, don't spy. 32 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: You've never seen them. That hasn't happened. You want to 33 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: tell me something I need to know now. They like 34 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: rub up brush against each other. If they're walking out 35 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: the door, go tring to rub up against each other. 36 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,959 Speaker 1: We don't have to do it. They're going toolving door together. 37 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: That happened one time. Explain that now I need to answer. 38 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: It was stupid. I don't even know how that happen. Really, 39 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: it was really stupid. It was really that it had 40 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: to be very intentional. It wasn't. I don't even know how. 41 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: And then one makes his way around was so stupid, 42 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: and giggle because it was so stupid. Giggle all the 43 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: way through it, you guys, you added, insulted. You're sitting 44 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: there in the one slot giggling together. Oh man. Anyway, 45 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 1: back to the matter at hand, real life, real love? 46 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: What is that magic that holds y'all together? You think? 47 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: How you know? Um? Whenever I find that people come 48 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: to our house or are around us, I think they're 49 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: kind of surprised how much fun we have together. I 50 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: find him to be very charming and Charismaticum, And one 51 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: of the things that I love most about him is 52 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: his boyish nature. So we really have a lot of 53 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: fun together, and we always had since we first met. 54 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: The first week we spent together, I thought to myself, Wow, 55 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: he's a lot of fun. Like he's he's like a friend, 56 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: you know, And that's part of the magic. You knew 57 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: that this was the person you can spend the rest 58 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: of your life with after about two weeks of knowing him. Yes, 59 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: he knew before you even spent a day together. Explain 60 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: before before we even spent a day together, that one 61 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: when I first when I first seen you, I mean 62 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: I wrote in a book that I thought you were 63 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: beautiful and amazing in the first time I saw you 64 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: were actually running track and for people I don't know, 65 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: you know, tracks, paying track like that outfit and you 66 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: know Gia had, you know, big double d's, And I 67 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: would stop basically stalker outside and just watch a run 68 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: track and watch a breast bottle like that word don't 69 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: say stalk, you know what it's stalking, But that's actually 70 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: what he was doing was it was actually stalking. And 71 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: I would see him. I would see him the bidding 72 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: with his friends in this bright blue con Edison van 73 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: because that's what his parents bought him to trans to 74 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: transfer his DJ equipment from Sweet sixteen to Sweet sixteen 75 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: at the time. And I would see it parked behind 76 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: the fence some thinking to myself, like, yo, why is 77 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: this van there? Every day it tried cracked. Yeah, it 78 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: was bright blue. He wasn't low, he was not low. 79 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 1: And then one day he emerged. Actually, babe, do you 80 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: remember one day he emerged from the van and approached 81 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: me and kicked it and I was like, oh, so 82 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: you're that weirdough we both kids. Yeah, she was fifteen, 83 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,559 Speaker 1: I was sixteen. We went to the same high school. 84 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 1: So so and but you say that you knew that 85 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 1: she was going to be your wife, like right away? 86 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 1: You think it was before y'all even spoke was stalking her? 87 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: We actually know when we actually spoke, and you know, 88 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,679 Speaker 1: I found out how you know, beautiful she was inside 89 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: and outside, and how smart she was and caring and 90 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 1: she was just that she was the one. She was 91 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life 92 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: and the most precious things. So I was like, this 93 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,599 Speaker 1: is going to be my wife. I want people to 94 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: get the book, but I do want, you know, to 95 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 1: explain how do you keep reinventing the relationship when you 96 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 1: start that young? Now interviews fifty something, you know what 97 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: I mean, you're much much younger, But how how do 98 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 1: you keep how do you reinvent? How do you keep reinventing? 99 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: And I think that that's part of the magic. We 100 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: don't have to try. We don't intentionally. We do a 101 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: lot of things intentionally and deliberately, but we don't intentionally 102 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: reimagine the relationship and act on that. The only thing 103 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: that I would say that where um good about is 104 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: keeping it sexy and making sure that that part of 105 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 1: our relationship doesn't get too monotonous and doesn't get stale. 106 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: So we have a lot of fun in that space. Um, 107 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: but we don't have to think of, God, how am 108 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: I gonna stop being bored of you? Or how am 109 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: I going to get to a point where you don't 110 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: annoy me anymore? He legitimately does not annoy me. I 111 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: look forward to his phone calls every day, and we 112 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 1: probably speak on the phone about maybe eight or nine 113 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: ten times a day because he's away a lot, you know. 114 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: So he calls me on his way to the breakfast club, 115 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: He calls man his way home from the breakfast club, 116 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: He calls me. If something happens, he calls me incessantly. 117 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: It's and I'm never like oh you again, I'm like 118 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: him again. You know. It's just that feeling that I've 119 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: always had that no matter what ups or downs we 120 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: were going through, that never left me. Now, he tell 121 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: this a story about the cowboy outfit. Told you about that? 122 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: Yeah wait, wait wait the cowboy outfit in college, the 123 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: assss chats, that ass chat they were Yeah, you tell 124 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: this about Oh wait, did you actually tell me like 125 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: on error and private he did, because if it was 126 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: in private, this is a whole double cross, right, he 127 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: jested as the cowboy and his he had. Remember that day, Okay, 128 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: I remember that, digga. After he told the story, he goes, 129 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: not like what he did when we were in college. Yeah, 130 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: we went through a stage where we were doing like 131 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: a lot of role play. Yeah, and one night I 132 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: dared him to be a cowboy. So we went and 133 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: got the cowboy half. It had like the big brown hat, 134 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: and then he had like the little holsters and everything, 135 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: and babe, do you remember I took pictures? Where are those? 136 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: Are they in the book? He about maybe um three 137 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: years after he made me physically burn them on the grill. Wow, 138 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: he put them on the grill and told me how 139 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: to light it. Yeah, they don't exist. Don't you wish 140 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: you still had that? No, but y'all talk about role 141 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: play in the book. You said he likes to put 142 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: on the rock Nation paper plane hat and he goes, 143 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: what's my name? And he wants you to say jiggle. 144 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: I didn't contribute to that chapter. Okay, that wasn't my work. No, 145 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: I didn't do it. Okay, So wait, they really so 146 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: he wasn't lying. They were asked with chaps. Yeah, yeah, 147 00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: he had a whole. It was a whole thing. I 148 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: just well the Uaugia. He did not tell us that. 149 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: Damn it to hell. Get my book and you will 150 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: learn a slew of tactics what you want out of life. Okay, 151 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: it was a holster by the way, they were holsters. 152 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,119 Speaker 1: It was a whole, but it was some other dressed 153 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: up things. You go right, Um, it was more so me, 154 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: okay dressing up and he was just like the recipient 155 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: of that that that was a one little and that's 156 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: why it was a dare because it was kind of 157 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: supposed to be a joke. But he never really dressed 158 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: up one time I was he was a doctor. That 159 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: was once. Did you really burn the pictures? I really 160 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: did really in front of him. Wow, you didn't have negatives? 161 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: Were going to share that they never goes left in 162 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: a relationship. I had that I will ruin his entire reputation, 163 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: I will never be able to work again, and I 164 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:54,199 Speaker 1: question them over to a new audience. The free IHR 165 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: radio app has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts 166 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 1: to explode. Yes, this is the Breakfast Club, third part 167 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: of Sunday Night podcast on iHeartRadio. We got a special 168 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: guest staling to building my wife, Gea Casey. We're talking 169 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 1: about our new book, Real Life, Real Love Life Lessons 170 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together. 171 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: You could pick it up today, or you can get 172 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: it on an audible and kin do it or wherever 173 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 1: you get your books. Yee, how is if it both 174 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: of you writing his book together. Some of it was fun, 175 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: It was nice to be creative and get your thoughts 176 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: down on paper. It was work, but a lot of 177 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: it was difficult. I'm a very open person. Rashawn I 178 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 1: think had a difficult time because he had to relive 179 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: a lot of the negative things that transpired in our relationship. 180 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: And he can tend to be surface in some respects 181 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 1: where you ask him a question, he gives you an answer. 182 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: I'm a lot more of an in depth person, you know. 183 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: I think critically about things, and when we would go 184 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: over these chapters that he's assigned to write, I would 185 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: ask him questions like, Okay, you can't just answer it 186 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 1: with a yes or a no or a full blanket 187 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: like one question would mean ten more questions. To really 188 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: get to the meet. And you know, I had to 189 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: keep reiterating, we're writing this book so that people have 190 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: something tangible, a reference point for them to make changes 191 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: in their lives if necessary, or to recognize that the 192 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: person that you're with needs to make changes in their lives. 193 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: And it was a journey. It was a journey, but 194 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: I think it was difficult. For it was difficult. I 195 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: had to relive a lot of the the f boyish 196 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: I put you through. And you don't you forget about 197 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: a lot of it because you don't have to relive it. 198 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: But then when you start, no, you forget about forget 199 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 1: I forget nothing at the point though, right, because it's like, 200 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: we don't realize how much we do hurt? Are women? Yeah? 201 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: I think so? I don't think we realize how deep that. 202 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: That sounds like an oaky doke to me. No, I 203 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 1: don't think we Until you actually sit down and have 204 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: those you know, uncomfortable conversations, you don't realize how much 205 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: you your wife cheated on you and told you that 206 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,559 Speaker 1: she would have no idea, Yeah, how much that it 207 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 1: stood to hurt you? Would that make sense to you? 208 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: Probably not? But I mean men don't make sense. You 209 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: believe that you believe that you're born inherently with like 210 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 1: a deficit, not a deficit. But I just don't think. 211 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think we're thinking about it, 212 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like we like that's the 213 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: sad part. It's selfish and that's what keeps that's what 214 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,719 Speaker 1: keeps you from doing it in the future, you know 215 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 1: what I mean, because you do not want to hurt 216 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: the woman that you love. And it's so crazy because 217 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: I saw that with my pops, Like I saw the 218 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: pain that that caused my mom with his infidelity. So 219 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 1: in my mind, I was like, damn, I'm about to 220 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: do make the same mistake. So I think it is 221 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: difficult when you got to relive it because you don't 222 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: want to talk about it because you don't want to 223 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: trigger you. You know, some people if I don't get 224 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: triggered though, man, but that scared me. Sity. No. Once 225 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: I got to a point, and it was a process. 226 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: Once I got to a point where um, I accepted 227 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: that it was my job job to move on because 228 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: I decided to forgive him, and because because he had 229 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: done all of the work and then some to regain 230 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: my trust to earn grace from me. I got to 231 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: a point where I no longer wanted to punish and 232 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: I didn't have that inherent need to see him suffer. 233 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,839 Speaker 1: Because when you hurt, and you say it all the time, 234 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 1: hurt people, hurt people. When you're hurt, you want not 235 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: just people, you want the person that hurt you to hurt. 236 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: And any time that I felt any type of way, 237 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,320 Speaker 1: I made sure that he felt some type of way. 238 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: So once I learned how to forgive, and that was 239 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,959 Speaker 1: a process because I wasn't necessarily a forgiving person before 240 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: everything was very black and white to me, not very 241 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: much gray. But once I learned and I understood that 242 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: that's what was expected from me of God, I had 243 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: to commit to that and do my best to live 244 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: up to what forgiveness meant. And that's what set free 245 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: Because when you forgive, you don't forgive to ease the 246 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 1: burden from the other person. You forgive to ease the 247 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,959 Speaker 1: burden from you. Well, the work you guys did together, 248 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 1: like you had to work on forgiveness and when you 249 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: said Okay, I'm gonna you know, have to move on 250 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: from this. But what was the work that he did that. 251 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 1: Let you know, Okay, he's serious, and you know I 252 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,319 Speaker 1: can finally just say I'm not getting triggered anymore. I'm 253 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: gonna let this go. One of the first things was 254 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: I realized that he understood the impact of what had happened, 255 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: what he did, He understood it. He didn't just accept 256 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 1: it and was accountable for it, but he actually understood. 257 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: He would do things that a lot of men wouldn't do. 258 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,839 Speaker 1: He would sit there through those eight hour conversations locked 259 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: in a room. He answered every question that I had, 260 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: and I had a lot of questions, and he answered 261 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: them all truthfully. And you know when you asked somebody 262 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: a question and you can tell by their answer, because 263 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 1: I mean, the answers weren't pretty. There weren't things that 264 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: I would have wanted to hear. He went through all 265 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: of the sufferation, as I call it, and he did 266 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,559 Speaker 1: it until because a lot of guys when they mess up, 267 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: and I mean a lot of them have told me. 268 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: I have friends and that have gone through it. It's like, listen, 269 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: I did it. I apologize, I said I was never 270 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: going to do it again. I mean that ish, But 271 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: it's like every day I'm being punished. I'm being punished, 272 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: I'm being remindeds like let it go, I apologize, Like 273 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: what more do you want from me? Blood? He never 274 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: took that approach with me. It was the until, until 275 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 1: you are good, until you are healed. If I have 276 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: to be a punching bag, I will be that. If 277 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: I have to be a doormat, I will be that. 278 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: I will do anything that it makes to survive this 279 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: because I cannot be without you. And he proved it 280 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: every single day. It was as though and he was 281 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: like this before, but it was even more so during 282 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: this time. It was as though he communicated to me 283 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: that the only thing that he wanted was to make 284 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: me happy. And that's pretty much how he lives his life. 285 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: He lives his life every day waking up thinking like, damn, 286 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: how can I make gars life easier today? How can 287 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 1: I make Gia happier today? But to answer your question, 288 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: it was the until. It was the indefinite, and it 289 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: was the willingness to do any and everything to earn 290 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: what he lost back. And he was there ever a 291 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: question in your mind. I know there was a point 292 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 1: when you thought, no matter what I do, she's never 293 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: gonna take me back. There ever a time when you 294 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: were like, I'm gonna come over and huge him. Let 295 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: you know, you him back if you cried in front 296 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: of your wife, catch that little field. At that point, 297 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: I just, you know, I didn't know what was going 298 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: to happen, but I was like, I have to be 299 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: honest or at least get my friend back, you know. 300 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: Um And at that point, I you know, I didn't 301 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: know what Gear was gonna do. I thought it was 302 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: a rap, but I was like, I still wanted my friend. 303 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: I still wanted somebody I can talk to, you know, 304 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: I still wanted in a relationship. Whether that we can 305 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 1: bounce me like that. She's all I knew since I 306 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: was sixteen. So I still wanted my friend back. And 307 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: she's that could have been forever beef. But you know, 308 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: it's interesting that you didn't kick him out of the house. 309 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 1: You were still polite to him, You still wanted to 310 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 1: maintain a co parenting friendship. I feel like that hurts 311 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: more when you're like, we're not having sex and I 312 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: might end up with somebody else one day, but you 313 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: know we're cool. That hurts more that I think sometimes 314 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: in just completely like being nasty to somebody and cutting 315 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: them off. Yes, well, when I found out divorce was imminent, 316 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 1: it was never a question. I was raised by a 317 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: very strong mother who taught me that if a man 318 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: ever disrespects you to that degree, then you walk. So 319 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: it didn't matter how much I loved with Sean and 320 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 1: how much I would have missed him, and it didn't 321 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: matter if I cried every night. It did not matter 322 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 1: one iota how I felt. The Only thing that was 323 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: important to me was that I operated with my head 324 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: and not my heart, and that I did what I 325 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,440 Speaker 1: always said that I was going to do. So when 326 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,159 Speaker 1: I found out, when it was confirmed for me, and 327 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: you can read the book and see the entire no, 328 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 1: you want you to go, get the entire story. But 329 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 1: when he confirmed it, we were in a parking lot, 330 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,719 Speaker 1: and when I drove away from that parking lot, it 331 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: was a few days before Christmas and his mother was 332 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 1: at the house helping me decorate because we were hosting 333 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 1: that year. But I walked into the house and I 334 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: told her, I said, Christmas is canceled. And she said 335 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: Christmas is canceled, and I said, well, I just found 336 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,120 Speaker 1: out that Rashwan cheated on me, and We're getting a divorce, 337 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: so there's not gonna be any Christmas this year, at 338 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: least I'm not hosting. It's wild that people actually canceled Christmas. 339 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: I thought that was just a figures fee. No, no, 340 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 1: if this happened, we canceled Christmas Chas, Yeah, Christmas well 341 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: in the sense of us hosting. And I wasn't going 342 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 1: to cancel it for our children. But you know, we 343 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 1: didn't have to decorate for thirty people to come over. 344 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: And my lovely mother in law, my mama, she defended 345 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: her beautiful son with everything that she could because pretty much, 346 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 1: and when she said something to that effect, I said, 347 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: but for the fact that he just told me that 348 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: it was true. And he came home maybe twenty or 349 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: thirty minutes later, and it was a whole thing, right. 350 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: But I was adamant that we were getting a divorce. 351 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:35,920 Speaker 1: That contacted an attorney, paid an attorney. It was decided. 352 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: But thankfully, there were a whole host of things that 353 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:47,879 Speaker 1: happened that that convinced me that God had other plans. 354 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio for podcast Discovery. This is the Breakfast 355 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,920 Speaker 1: Club thirty your chance to hear the biggest trending podcast 356 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: each week from the Free iHeartRadio app. We're here talking 357 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: about our new book, Real Life, Real Love. What did 358 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: God say to you? You know, I wasn't raised with 359 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: this um deeply instilled faith where I felt as though 360 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: I knew God and I lived differently because I didn't 361 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: know God in that way. So when God revealed himself 362 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 1: to me, and he may have tried for years, you see, 363 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,680 Speaker 1: but I wouldn't have I didn't speak his language. I 364 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 1: would have never been able to interpret God trying to 365 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 1: reach out to me. So I really believe that this 366 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: happened so that me, particularly not even Rashawn, so that 367 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: I could be humbled. When God spoke, he spoke through 368 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 1: other people, and when he found when I found out 369 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:45,640 Speaker 1: what happened. It's funny we were being approached for reality 370 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 1: shows at the time, and when he took someone's terrible 371 00:19:52,119 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: advice to apologize to me on the radio and make 372 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 1: our personal woes private. Yeah, our personal woes Publicum. I 373 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 1: didn't know though. I didn't know what he was going through. 374 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: He just be he'd be laying on the I didn't 375 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,719 Speaker 1: know what he'd be like out of it. I'm like, yo, 376 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 1: what the is your problem? I didn't know what it was. 377 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: So as I'm priding him, like, what the hell is 378 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,200 Speaker 1: going on? I didn't know that was coming. Oh okay, yeah, 379 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 1: I didn't know that was the one he apologized. You 380 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: didn't know what apologize. He would literally come in here 381 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: and be like laid out on the floor in the 382 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 1: fetal position the whole show, Like he would not be 383 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: here with us, he wouldn't be present, and I just 384 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,520 Speaker 1: knew something was wrong. Apologize. I'm like, no. I was like, 385 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 1: when he gets on the air, I'm gonna ask him 386 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: on the air with the because his problem, and I 387 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 1: was tired of asking him behind the scenes, and so 388 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,680 Speaker 1: I asked him on the air. I didn't know that 389 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: was coming. Though. It was a terrible idea, But maybe 390 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 1: it was the same dose of common sense that you 391 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: guys are talking about. Men the same thing anyway, man 392 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: think differently. Yes, But when it was made public, my 393 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: one of my best friends, his name is Rashid, he's 394 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: the husband of my other best friend, her name is Sasha. 395 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: He called to see if what he had heard was 396 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: true because he thought that maybe it was just something 397 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,639 Speaker 1: being drummed up because we're supposed to be on a 398 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 1: reality show or something like that. And when he called, 399 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,120 Speaker 1: I said, no, everything that you heard is absolutely true. 400 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: It's it's a terrible story. Um as you said. You know, 401 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: Rashaw was circling the dream at that time, and Rashid 402 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:29,200 Speaker 1: decided to come to New York from California because he 403 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 1: lives in LA. But we had a very a horrible 404 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: event happened at our home and you can read about 405 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: it in the BOVESI didn't like me Rush, you know, 406 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: he always thought our relationship with toxic, which you were 407 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 1: too controlling. He thought I was too controlling, which I 408 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 1: was at times, but so he didn't like me. So 409 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: the fact that he flew in to try to save 410 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: this relationship meant a lot, because he already didn't like me. 411 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: I thought, he said, Taris saved alationship. Well, well, what 412 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 1: happened was he flew in and I didn't want him 413 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: there because our marriage was ending and I just wanted 414 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,639 Speaker 1: to be by myself. But he insisted. He said, I'm 415 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,159 Speaker 1: pulling into I'm applying into New York New York International 416 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,119 Speaker 1: Airport at such and such a time. Come get me. 417 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 1: I went, and I got him, and that was the 418 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,199 Speaker 1: start of the biggest change that we needed to go 419 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 1: to go through. He came to our house and I said, 420 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 1: why are you here? And he said, God sent me here. 421 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,199 Speaker 1: I said, of all people, you, you're the only person 422 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 1: in our lives that didn't champion our marriage. You're the 423 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 1: only one that ever told me that maybe he's not 424 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 1: the right person for me. Why you, he said, Gia, 425 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. I've been praying since I got a 426 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,959 Speaker 1: phone with you. After that terrible thing happened, and I 427 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: walked into my boss's office, told him I had to 428 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,200 Speaker 1: take a leave of absence, went home, packed a bag, 429 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: and got on a plane and headed here. And it's 430 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 1: only through the assignment of God. God spoke to me. 431 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: I said, so, what does that mean? Like, are you 432 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,199 Speaker 1: hearing voices? Like, what do you mean God spoke to you? 433 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 1: And he said to me, when God speaks to you, 434 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,400 Speaker 1: it's as though he puts an overwhelming feeling on your heart. 435 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 1: And when he tells you to do something, you don't 436 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: ask me questions, You just do it. I said, okay, well, 437 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 1: basically I'm have to wrap my mind around that because 438 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 1: I didn't have the tools to really understand that. And 439 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,600 Speaker 1: he stayed with us for about maybe ten twelve days, 440 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: and he taught us a lot about God and faith 441 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: and spirituality and what his assignment was. And he brought 442 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: in his past or. Her name is Sister Nancy. She 443 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,919 Speaker 1: had the same feedback from God when she prayed. And 444 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: this was all new to me, and I was actually 445 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 1: very angry because now I have people in my life 446 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: that I respect and love that are telling me that 447 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 1: I have to stay in a relationship that I'm adamant 448 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: on getting out of. And it was very, very heavy. 449 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 1: I can't describe to you how heavy it was and 450 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: how insistent he was in his assurance of what God 451 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: communicated to him in the fast. Tyrese same thing I 452 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 1: didn't know. You know, we knew Tyres for coming up 453 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 1: here do an interview, but I didn't know tyresead I 454 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: have his number. He didn't have a new song. But 455 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,239 Speaker 1: when he heard me on a radio that day, he 456 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,239 Speaker 1: called and wanted to speak to Gia, and you can 457 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 1: read in the book because he got us together, but 458 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 1: he said the exact same thing, like Tires and Rashid 459 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 1: was speaking to each other, and it was kind of 460 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 1: like those two were the ones to really save my marriage. 461 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 1: And they didn't know it to the Ngia. You had 462 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: asked for a sign. Well, that was the thing, because 463 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: I was so angered by what I was hearing, like, Oh, 464 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: I was a victim being cheated on, now being victimized 465 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: again by God telling me that I have to stay 466 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: in a relationship that I'm adamant about leaving. I don't 467 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: understand this, and I was and I'm not a big crier, 468 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 1: but um, one day I was taking a shower and 469 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 1: I began to cry, and I began to pray in 470 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,880 Speaker 1: the way that I was learning how to pray, and 471 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 1: I asked God for a sign that I can interpret 472 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 1: for myself, so at least it would feel as though 473 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: I was making my own decision, and a decision wasn't 474 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 1: being made for me, so I I damn near begged 475 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 1: for a sign. And then shortly after Tyrese called Rashan 476 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 1: and asked for him to set something up and we 477 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,400 Speaker 1: went to Philippe Chaw's. He came in with a backup 478 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: singer and a guitarist. He performed Stay just for Rashan 479 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: and I. Then he sat down for about four hours 480 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: and we had a conversation and he tried to explain 481 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: to me how a man can love you and still 482 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 1: cheat at the same time, because I didn't really understand that. 483 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 1: But at the end of the conversation I asked them, 484 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 1: I said, you know, why are you here. You don't 485 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 1: even know if I'm a good person. You don't know 486 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 1: if this relationship is even worth salvaging. Why would you 487 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: do that? You didn't know, Rashan, you have no dog 488 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,920 Speaker 1: in this fight. You have nothing to gain or lose. 489 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 1: You're supposed to be at a wedding somewhere else. You 490 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 1: changed your flights to be here. Why, He said, God 491 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: sent me here to do this. I said, what do 492 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,160 Speaker 1: you mean God sent you here to do this? He said, 493 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 1: God sent me. I said, are you hearing voices? He 494 00:25:55,880 --> 00:26:01,440 Speaker 1: said no, and then he reiterated verbatim exactly what Rashid 495 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: said to me in my kitchen that day. And I 496 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: had to ask um, tires, I said, is that like 497 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,000 Speaker 1: in the Bible? Is that what you just said? Is 498 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: that like a thing that people know? And he said no, 499 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you how I feel. Like, what do 500 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,479 Speaker 1: you mean? At that moment, I just like threw my 501 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: hands up and I said, okay, And I looked at 502 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,239 Speaker 1: Rashawn and I said, I forgive you. I don't know 503 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 1: what that means. I will work on this with you. 504 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,640 Speaker 1: I don't know how long that will take. I will 505 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: do what I'm now believing is required of me. But 506 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: we're going to be in for a ride because I'm 507 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: not really there. But I can commit to you in 508 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: this moment because there is not that much coincidence in 509 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:47,879 Speaker 1: the world for what just happened. Thank God. Yes, I'm sorry. 510 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:49,919 Speaker 1: I'm sorry to my wife too. I just feel like 511 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: we got more with my wife's Gia Casey. When we 512 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,400 Speaker 1: come back. We're talking out new book that's out right now, 513 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 1: Real Life, Real Love. So don't go anywhere. It's to 514 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. Good Morning. The free I Heart Radio app 515 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 1: has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts to explore. Yes, 516 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: this is the Breakfast Club thirty part of Sunday Night 517 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,880 Speaker 1: podcast on our Heart Radio. We got a special guest 518 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: Steal in the building, my wife, Gia Casey. We're talking 519 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,719 Speaker 1: about our new book, Real Life, Real Love, Life Lessons 520 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,119 Speaker 1: on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together. 521 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: You could pick it up today, or you can get 522 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 1: it on an audible and kin do it or wherever 523 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: you get your books. Yee. A lot of gems in 524 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,400 Speaker 1: this buck, you guys, I was thoroughly entertaining. Like I said, 525 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: I look stressed. I think he's been nervous all morning 526 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,399 Speaker 1: before you got triggering conversation. The book is out today. 527 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,359 Speaker 1: Go get it, man. Make sure you pick it up. 528 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: Real life, real love, getting today life lessons on joy, pain, 529 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,680 Speaker 1: and the magic that holds us together. That's right, Amazon, 530 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,879 Speaker 1: Barns and Nobles, wherever you buy books, your local bookstores, 531 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: please pick it up today. And when you do read it, 532 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 1: or you read it, please, what we want you to 533 00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 1: do is we want you to tell us what you 534 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,879 Speaker 1: think about the book, whether it's a thirty second video tag, 535 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: and now we want to repost it, whether you love it, 536 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: whether you hate it. We're going to repost all of 537 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: them because we'd love to get you guys' feedback. And 538 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,560 Speaker 1: I think that y'all gonna help a lot of couples. 539 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,439 Speaker 1: And it's clear that y'all two are meant to be 540 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,680 Speaker 1: with each other, you know what I'm saying. One of 541 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: my favorite chapters is called The New Deal, and it's 542 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 1: pretty much about reparations that the offender has to make 543 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 1: after offending their partner. And it's those things that will 544 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: help to let to signal to your partner that you 545 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: just may be worthy of forgiveness and being expended grace. 546 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: So what are those reparations? The first thing people will say, Oh, 547 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: that's why he does the Twelve Days of Christmas. You know, 548 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: that's right. A lot of people do say, But you 549 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 1: know what's funny, and that's the funny thing. We've always 550 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: done twelve Days of Christmas. We just never made it public. 551 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 1: And it's not the type of thing that at first 552 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: I ever wanted to make public because it is grand, 553 00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 1: but I decided to start posting it because it's not 554 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: about the material items that he gives me for Christmas. 555 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,920 Speaker 1: It's about the intention behind it. It's about the thought. 556 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 1: You know, he starts shopping almost a year in advance 557 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 1: for that, and every gift comes with something special, a 558 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: little note, a little treasure hunt to find the gift, 559 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 1: a prayer, a poem, something that is giving of his heart, 560 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: not giving of his pocket. And that's why when you 561 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 1: you know, you read the book and you hear y'all talk, 562 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: that's why you understand why he got so upset at 563 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 1: these and marrot. Correct. You know what I'm sayingcause y'all 564 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 1: relationship is so much deeper. Of course, you know, because 565 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: with their comment, it almost to me suggests as though 566 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 1: there's nothing else worthy about him that would signal me 567 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: to stay aside from what he has to offer financially. 568 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 1: And it's a joke, right, But we all know that 569 00:29:55,240 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 1: all jokes are rooted in some truth, and that's what 570 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: I think their truth was. Looking at it from an outsider, 571 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 1: I wasn't some jackie completely and met somebody with money 572 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: and was like, oh, come up. We ground it out 573 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: from day one. I was always there and supporting him 574 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 1: and loving him. And if he failed and wound up 575 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:24,760 Speaker 1: being a secretary or anything followed another path, I would 576 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: still be there. Yeah, I think a proctologist take it. 577 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: Took a beat to get that. I just can't believe 578 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: what are you talking. I'm just suggesting other career options 579 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 1: that you're going to take it. I can't believe it. 580 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: With me. What my wife had is like, you're disrespectful 581 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,719 Speaker 1: real life. Really, thank you for having me, guys, that's right, 582 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 1: pick it up today and uh it's the breakfast club, 583 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 1: good morning. No, you gotta tell his guests, I love 584 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: you before you sign off, Yes, yes, Casey, thank you 585 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 1: for joining us. I love you. I love you way 586 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: more to show. I Heart Radio Sunday Night Podcast Listen 587 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: every week as we play a different podcast, one of 588 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: the most shared and most listened to in the free 589 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app. This is where you'll hear the 590 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 1: podcast people will be talking about this week. Here are 591 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 1: all the episodes at the Breakfast Club thirty and over 592 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty thousand others by downloading the free 593 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app.