WEBVTT - Anything but Clueless with Kelly Rizzo and Breckin Meyer 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:10.240 So excited because we've got an in studio guest, Kelly Rizzo. 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.280 I can't believe this worked out so crazy. I mean, 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:17.560 you are on a world tour, basically. 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:21.560 World tour of Chicago and Nashville went crazy all around the. 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:23.600 World because your family's still in Chicago. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.920 Family still in Chicago, but I haven't been here since 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.520 last time I saw you, guys, which was five years ago, 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:33.440 which was right before Bob pass Remember you all. 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:37.240 Went to dinner. We went to Thompson Now where do 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:38.640 we go? The Thompson Hotel? 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:39.000 Right? 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:41.080 We were in the Thompson Hotel. I was I had 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.800 next I had another husband. Well, a lot can change 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:47.919 in five years. We were down two other babies, two 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:48.839 fewer babies. 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.240 Yeah, different husbands and. 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:52.920 Oh wait is there an announcement? 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:59.720 No, no, no, I'm different different partners. And we went to 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:04.720 ball show at Zany's and it was just it was 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:07.959 so fun. But that was crazy enough. That's been If 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:11.640 I've seen you, yeah, yes, yes, because you came and 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:13.360 stayed with me in La I sure did. 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:15.840 And we're not going to say why I stayed with 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.200 her in La. We're not going to say I can 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:22.480 stay in LA conversations out, but yes. 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:25.479 Yes, obviously we've hung out since, but Kristen and I 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:28.559 have just been long distance for a very long time now. 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:31.360 In five years, it's a little while. Yeah, it was 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:31.880 interesting though. 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:33.280 I was just thinking about this the other day because 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.520 I'm coming up on the five year anniversary. I just 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:37.760 had it this last weekend and my dad passing and 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:41.920 how intricate Bob's words were to me. I think we 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:44.480 met for like a lunch or coffee or something, and 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:48.240 just because he was unfortunately an expert at loss, you know, 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:52.120 and was just so wise, but also gave me the 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:54.760 dose of humor that I needed in our dark comedy 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:56.920 kind of you know, and we talked about dead dad 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.000 going over my shoulder, and like, you know, you. 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:03.920 Were so so good at embracing the dark humor and 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:06.680 just putting it all out there and not being so 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:09.440 precious about, oh, you can't say this or you can't 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.120 say that. And I think that's why you resonated with 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:12.960 Bob so much. 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:15.600 Yeah, such a just such a special. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:17.880 Lunch and you would you were talking about your dad 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:19.760 and he was just kind of letting it all out too. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:21.880 Yeah, we like made a character of my dad. It 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:25.480 was I mean, it was like, honestly just wildly therapeutic. 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.960 I think when there's just so much loss people, you 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:30.800 just get good at it, you know, like our therapist 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:33.080 at one point try to make an unofficial death doula 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:35.360 out of me, and I was like, I it's a 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.640 hard pass. You know, like that doesn't seem sexy. No 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:40.160 one wants that girl coming to the party or you know, 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:41.200 what do you do for a living? 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:42.640 But she would be good at it though. 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:44.920 She'd be good. I mean, you had a lot of 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.280 people obviously that came to your side when all that happened. 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:50.560 And I feel like Kristen was like, you are You're 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:52.880 very good with your words, obviously, but your presence and 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:56.320 your heart too are very comforting in times like that. 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.360 Well I just I just couldn't imagine how noisy it was. 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.040 I think that was the biggest thing, Yeah, because this 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:04.680 death is already noisy enough. 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:06.760 And then you had the world. 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:10.560 Yeah, and it was interesting though, but there were I 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:13.680 remember both of you girls were just so wonderful about 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.520 like checking in with me and you know, just being 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:21.239 so present and loving. And I tell the story still 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.919 all the time. And Jane, I know you've probably heard 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:27.640 this too, but when people ask me, like, what really 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:29.799 helped you when you got through that, I bring up 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:35.080 you all the time because you texted me every single 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:38.120 morning for six months straight, I mean, give or take 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:42.560 for six months. And it wasn't always. It wasn't like 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:46.040 how are you because nobody wants the how are you text? 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:48.560 It's it was literally just that's one of. 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:52.240 The least favorite questions, like even if you know how 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:54.400 I am, I don't want to say I'm angry or 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.200 I'm sad or I'm mad, Like can you just say 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:57.720 love you like that? You know? 0:03:57.800 --> 0:03:59.280 I think I would just say I love you. Well, 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.440 I think Bob gave us all permission to say it 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.760 too much. I remember being insecure, like I remember somebody saying, well, 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.040 you can't possibly love that many people that much, you know, 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:10.720 And I'm not. I love big when I love a 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:14.440 little protective of it. But that was one of the 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.520 things that I kind of loved about him, his older, wiser, 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:18.640 big brotherly advice, like you can certainly say it as 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:20.760 many times as you want, like you know, And so 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.560 that was a gift to me when he left us 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:26.080 when heaven gets lucky like that, I was, Oh, I 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:27.200 can say I love you as much. 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:27.480 As I want. 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:31.800 And then I thought, gosh, what is it like to 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.440 be you into all of a sudden hear it less? 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.280 You know, like if I could even fill like a 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.200 eye dropper into that void of just like here is 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.520 and I love you with nothing attached, that would be 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:44.960 the gift. 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:48.880 No, and you didn't. It was this cozy little nugget 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.599 every morning where I'd wake up because you know, it 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:53.640 was two hours behind you, so I'd wake up every 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.480 morning to a text from you, just like love you, 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:59.680 thinking of you, love your heart or my heart's with you, 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.120 whatever it was. It was just and so something like that. 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:07.279 If you know anyone who's grieving or who just lost somebody, 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.640 just those little tiny check ins they mean so much 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.160 and they're so easy and sometimes you know, I just 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:16.279 did a podcast the other day where I was talking 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.560 to a woman who had lost her child, and that's 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.960 one of those things where you're like, I don't know 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:24.680 what to say, like what can you possibly say? And 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:29.279 she said, the best thing is just the little the 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:34.440 little sprinkles of love you, thinking of you, and say 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:38.440 something right, the worst thing is not saying anything. She said, 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.920 I'd rather somebody say the wrong thing, but at least 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:43.840 they were brave enough to say something than to not 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:44.640 say anything at all. 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:48.559 I'd agree, And I do think saying something that isn't 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.839 asking anything of you is also important, you know, so 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:53.240 I could just say I love you and you don't 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:54.680 have to say anything. You can just know that and 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:56.480 move along as best you can. 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.080 So you're in a relationship. 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:06.520 The beast entrance ever, and I honestly wait, no, no, 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:13.640 that voice everyone was reckon back and welcome to the 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:17.039 show as well. Thank you for that amazing entrance. I 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.159 really like that. Comedic goals. 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.240 Thanks for having that was really good. 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:24.640 How long have you guys actually been dating. 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.599 For a little over three years now? Three years? 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:30.400 I remember when you told me oh yeah, yeah yeah, 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:34.159 and I was like something, well, something which is different 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.159 about it? And I think you knew that too. 0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:36.840 Yeah. 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.320 Well, I mean I remember, I'll say this, like even 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:41.200 after we went for a hike, do you remember when 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.440 were hiking? And I'm like, all right, so, because I'm 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:46.279 I'm probably the opposite of my Kristen and the healings, 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:51.880 I'm like, all right, I feeling like anybody she doesn't 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:53.600 want to be asked what she's doing, but she's like, no, 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:55.479 how are you with the big eyes? 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:56.760 Tell me this stuff? 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:59.200 But I just because I just figured everyone was just 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:00.960 talking about like the head stuff. I wanted it to 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.720 be like, because you you did get you're you're able 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:06.359 to fall in love again. And I know that's like 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:08.880 we've we've we've got past the not not past it. 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:10.240 But you're like, I feel like I have to at 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:10.880 least wait. 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:13.280 A year, right, And I think when you came and 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:14.080 stayed with me, it. 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:17.000 Was maybe you're like eight months, you're like eight or 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:19.680 nine months or something. And I was telling I got there. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.160 I was telling him today, I said, you know, when 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:24.960 Janet came to stay with me, it was maybe eight 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:27.680 nine months in something like that, and I wasn't ready 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:29.480 to date. But I was at the point where I 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:31.440 was feeling like, you're. 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.080 Thinking about it, but you're like they didn't want to 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:35.560 be judged. That was like the thing You're like, I 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:37.800 don't want people to say something, and I'm like, Kelly, 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.640 people want you to like find love and like get. 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:42.560 Back out there. I think I was at the stage 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:48.040 where I felt kind of like this old yucky widow 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:50.600 that nobody liked. And I was like, I just want 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.560 to feel pretty again, and I want to feel like 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.840 somebody pays attention to me, and I just want to feel, 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:58.520 you know, like when you go nine months without like 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:01.840 a hug or a kisser, anthing like that starts to 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:03.600 creep in a little bit. I knew I wasn't ready 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:06.000 to actually do anything yet, but I was at the 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.559 place where I was like, oh, well, I'm a little 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.040 starting to get a little lonely, you know. And then 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:15.200 I remember you were very much like, hey, if you did, 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.920 nobody's going to judge you. And I was like, I know, 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:22.320 but you know, I'm still not quite there. But then 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:26.120 it was maybe nine months after that that I met him, 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:27.520 and he was the first person I dated. 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:30.920 Had you have not known each other? How did you meet? 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:31.760 Where do we want to? 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:32.360 Did you know? 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:34.400 Had you even met before? Because I feel like. 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.000 I was on this old yucky widow app. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.320 Oh I w old yucky we had. 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.480 Met before because I knew Bob. Knew Bob. I always 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:50.480 like to say I knew Bob enough that it's not 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.080 creepy that and are together. But Bob and I loved 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:53.440 each other. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.040 It's not like her and John Mayer or something. 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:00.240 Yeah, it was like I had Bob, Bob sent his 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:01.839 book when it came out. We were that kind of 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.719 friends and we always liked each other. But I met 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.200 Kelly with Bob and I was like, Oh, that's Bob's 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.960 wife and that's all there, you know. And then at 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:14.920 are my best friend Seth Green his anniversary shindig, she 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:17.120 was there and I was there and I was it. 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:18.320 We just kind of chatted. 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:22.280 We'll started talking the behind the scenes story of that 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.880 is Seth and Claire. You know, they had their anniversary 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:28.960 party and they sent out the little you know, party 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.840 invite thing and you can see who the other guests are. 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.480 And I was I was right at the time where 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:36.800 I was like, okay, I think I'm think I'm ready. 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:39.480 And I was like any cute boys going, any cueboy 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:42.160 And then like it would mention people and it would 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:44.360 either say plus one or it would say them with 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.439 their significant other, and then I just saw it just 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.800 said Breck and Meyer, and I was like, oh, doesn't 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:53.600 say plus one. He's cute. Maybe I'll talk to him. 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.720 And so I remember I went into it having my 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:02.720 eye already. Yeah, not not like a bull's eye target, 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:06.559 but like a hey scattershot. Yeah, maybe we'll maybe we'll 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.160 run into each other. And then we just started talking 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:10.040 and hit it off. 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.200 Reckon. Was there any piece of you that was like, 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:29.760 how do I even step into shoes that were no comfortably? 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:34.080 There wasn't, because I was really I don't know, I 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.400 was so explained. I was just very relaxed about it. 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:38.880 I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was always been 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:41.720 a monogamy guy, and I was not in a relationship. 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.160 And I have you been married before? 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:45.199 Yeah? I was married for ten years. We were together 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:46.400 for twenty kids. 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.200 I do have two kids and twenty two and fifteen. 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:55.120 Yeah, my girls, and so I sounds so cliche, but 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.280 I genuinely wasn't. I was very happy. I was content 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:00.360 with where I was. I was a single with my 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:03.840 kids and going to my buddy's anniversary thing and met 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:07.040 this really great, happened to be super pretty girl that 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:10.400 we enjoyed talking about pearl jam and stuff, and then 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:13.360 it just it just really gradually went. There was no 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:17.640 love bombing. There wasn't like showing off. I wasn't trying 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:21.560 to carry anything fancy and it really was gradual, which 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.560 to me now three years in is like wow, I 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.400 wish I could tell everybody to do Like we were 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:31.960 watching that show The Ultimatum last night, going like, just 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.280 give it ten minutes, guys, jesus, you know. 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:35.800 Yeah, or if you had to be on the show, 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.160 we probably already know our answer. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.600 But right, yeah, if you need to go on the show, 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:41.959 you know there's a problem. 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:43.199 But America needs that to. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.480 Thankfully, because we enjoyed the help. 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:49.719 Twenties and we're like, you know what, you got to 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:51.480 learn these lessons when you're in your twenties. 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.320 You could just be like a girl thing too, And 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:56.000 that's probably my own insecurity and I'll just like blast myself. 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:58.280 But I feel like if I stepped into a situation 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.280 like that, I would be like, they'll never love me 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:01.959 as much as this, or they would still be with 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:03.720 them if that person was still there, Like I feel 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:07.319 like that would play with me as being the partner. 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:10.120 I mean, because I just handwrecking an issue or that's me. 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:14.719 I'm saying that's like my because I'm like, I mean, 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:18.320 like of course, like but I mean I guess you know, well, I'll. 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.360 Have him so tall, there was no way I could 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:21.160 compare with that. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:25.160 I was just like, He's like, absolutely, I will send 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:26.720 her someone, but. 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.400 I will not be as tall as I was. 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:33.120 I think, do you know what I'm trying to say? No, yeah, 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:38.320 a thousand percent. But I think when the person passed away, 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.240 it's different. It's one thing if it's a divorce and 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:43.640 you're like that person's still around and you still have 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:44.400 to feel like. 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.320 Oh see for divorce, Like I know my husband would 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.560 never think that I would still have any feelings for 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:50.400 that person. 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:54.920 Right, but there's still no way for them to come back, 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:57.760 and there's no And I mean, he's just and I 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:59.320 don't want to speak for him, and I'll let him 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:03.760 answer too, but like he's just been so confident and 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.920 secure about it, and if there's anything that has been 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:09.840 you know, where he's like, oh, that feels a little sensitive, 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.920 and that feels you know. I think I'm very open 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.800 about saying like, hey, like you're okay with that, right, 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:17.600 or it's okay for. 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:19.600 Me to talk about Bob at a lot. 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:24.520 I talk about it Bob. If I talk about Bob 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:26.480 with Brecken all the time, and I'll always say, like, 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.800 is that okay, Like is that too much? Like I'm 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:31.640 always checking in with him to say, like, you're comfortable 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:33.800 with this right, or like when we go to you know, 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.400 Bob's charity event, or we're hanging out with Bob's daughters, 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.360 we go to dinner with Bob's daughters or Bob's ex wife, 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.320 you know, and I'm always like, is this okay? And 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:44.760 he's always like yeah, Like if there's a problem, I'll 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:46.840 let you know. Has there ever been a problem? 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:50.600 No, there's no, because part of it is because Bob 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:56.319 isn't around anymore in that way and or anyway, but 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:59.040 because he's not as like a like I used to 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:00.960 be a jealous guy back in I was like the 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.120 jealous guy, and I think there's. 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:06.880 Some true first of all, like that's my therapist always says, 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:10.440 like it's okay, Like that's healthy. Jealousy is not Mine 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:12.679 was unhealthy when I was younger, but like the normal 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:14.720 thing you do when you're twenty and you're thirty, Yes, 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.040 we're like wait, no, call me every minute. 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:17.880 Who's that right? 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:18.160 Yeah? 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:20.520 This was even before you know, texting blew up like 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:24.440 crazy and all that. But with Bob, it's almost like 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:29.880 a separate story and it ended. It ended in the 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:32.480 sense that Bob's not with us, but her relationship with 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.720 Bob is so I don't know why, mentally in my 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:38.640 brain so separate from us that when she talks about it, 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:41.320 it doesn't reflect on me in any way other than 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.200 you're telling me this amazing story about this amazing person 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.760 and this amazing adventure you had, which sadly came to 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:50.320 an end before I was even involved. Yeah, so that's 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.160 that's one of the things I think with divorce, it's 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.960 different where I mean, lucky enough, Kelly and my Ki's 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.640 mom are actually tight and they get along, which is awesome, 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:01.440 But there are other situations where it's not and that 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.640 person's present and there's not only just a shadow but 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.960 physically that person is there, and things like that we've 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.160 never had that We just haven't had that. And also 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:12.960 I love Bob, like Bob was just awesome and it 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.840 sucks that Bob's not here. Kelly and I are totally 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.720 separate from Bob and Kelly and even Bob and I. 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:25.040 Yeah, yeah, your maturity and just being well rounded, like 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:27.120 we're all very adult. I think like part of the 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.280 reason I looked forward to this conversation today is just 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:33.480 that we're all like forties and beyond, you know, and 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.720 it just matters differently. There's a different processing, Like this 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:37.960 is a lot of real life stuff. 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.680 I mean we always say that the one thing and 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:44.680 we always I say, the timing of when we met 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:47.880 is pretty fantastic. Yeah, yeah, because truthfully, if this was 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.520 me ten years ago, no, I probably would have been 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:56.120 you know, you always talk about me and it's like 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.160 I have I mean, there's literally just none of it. 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.120 And I know, as like a former wacky jealous guys, 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:03.880 where were you? Who was that? You know, that type 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.920 of thing. There's not we just I mean it's just. 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.280 So where do you think that comes from? By the way, 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:11.040 like in you like if you could trace that back 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:11.800 to be like I think. 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:18.280 Experience in that way time after I got divorced, I 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.440 did data bit and I did I did all the 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:23.600 stupid things. I know one time there's one time just 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:27.520 one girl, one girl, and saw really genuinely saw like 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:29.960 in me like oh look what you're doing. Oh look 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.080 what you're doing there. You're doing your front loading, or 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.360 you're trying to do this, or you're playing anything. And 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:38.800 with Kelly it was from Jump Street. There were no 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:42.720 intentional games. There was no like let me see, let 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:44.280 me see if she calls her, let me call her 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.160 every day whatever. It was genuinely like I'm in a 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.760 text when I feel like textinger as opposed to when 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:53.040 I feel like I should, and I mean, she could 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:55.160 tell you better than me. It probably seemed a little slow, 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.160 like she was probably like, come on, well that was 0:16:58.440 --> 0:16:59.120 very slow. 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.320 But at the same time, I remember when I was 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.280 in it, and I'm sure I even vented to you 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:05.800 girls about it at some point, but I was like, 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:10.040 you know, I think he likes me, yea saying that 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:13.879 for sure, I don't know. But looking back, I'm so 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:18.760 grateful that he did play it slowly because that's really 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.520 what I needed. Like if he would would have loved bombed, 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.000 or if he we would have been like boyfriend girlfriend 0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.000 after a week like that would have been too much 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:29.199 for me because of what I had gone through. I 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.760 needed something where like I got to a place too 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.679 where I'm like, this is actually very real and he 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:38.439 is a good person, and I know his heart by now, 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.200 and I know he's not going to screw me over, 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:41.399 and I know he's not going to do this and 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:45.600 this and this, and so I feel like I really 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.800 needed that because it could have I mean, can you 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:54.119 imagine the first person I date after losing Bob that 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:59.400 ends up, you know, playing it wrong and then I'm 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:01.920 so hurt and then like he breaks my heart or 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.760 something like I And I think even though he wasn't 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:07.320 super intentional about like, oh, she's a widow, I have 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:09.399 to be extra extra careful with her. I think it 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:13.040 was just kind of innate in him that he was 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.480 cautious but not necessarily just for that reason. 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:18.959 Yeah, that's as like extra hot of him. I mean, 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:20.879 was that like extra hot that he was like. 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:23.560 It was extra hot, and yeah, we appreciate that. 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:37.600 But clueless I was perfect, you know, I think because 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.720 he was he was being very gentle about it. 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:45.240 But at the same time, yes, it was very hot, 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.920 but he wasn't playing hard to get. He was just right. 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:50.560 It was just he was easy going, confident. But you 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.159 know what he did what he said he was going 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:56.080 to do. Whenever we made plans, he kept the plans. 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:57.879 If he's like I'll pick you up at seven, he 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.320 was at my house at six fifty nine. You know, 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.199 he was always on time. I could he was. And 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:07.040 you know what, when you get older, it's sexy as 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:11.640 hell to be accountable and reliable and on. 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:13.880 Time and for your words to match your action. Yes, 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:14.760 nothing hotter. 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.560