WEBVTT - New Year, New You

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I hear Radio podcast

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<v Speaker 1>so excited for this week's Thursday episode. We've got Susan's

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<v Speaker 1>in coming on New Year knew You. Hi, Susan, you

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<v Speaker 1>missed us love confessing about you, and you couldn't hear us.

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<v Speaker 1>We were all talking about how pretty you were. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my gosh. I love seeing you guys again. This is

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm so excited to see you guys. Thank you

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<v Speaker 1>your holiday movie by the way, and it was amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. I appreciate it, and for coming

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<v Speaker 1>onto wind Down in the new Year. I'm curious where

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<v Speaker 1>where your where your thoughts are at with New Year,

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<v Speaker 1>New You? Is it something where do you hate the

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<v Speaker 1>saying or are you here for it? I'm actually here

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<v Speaker 1>for it. And I think that we've been through so

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<v Speaker 1>much over the past couple of years, and it's really

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<v Speaker 1>important for us to set our intentions of what we

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<v Speaker 1>want to feel like and what we want to do,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I'm all about the New Year, New You.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's an amazing way to kind of thinking

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<v Speaker 1>and really allow our brains to start to anticipate some

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<v Speaker 1>joy and fun rather than just so much dread and

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<v Speaker 1>uncertainty that we've had over the past couple of years.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you for people that feel uncertain right um

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<v Speaker 1>or they don't know what this month hold or the

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<v Speaker 1>next month or the next month because there's that uncertainty,

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<v Speaker 1>how do you how can someone stay positive with that?

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<v Speaker 1>Like what's something they can do? I mean, I know,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, choosing gratitude and writting things down, but like,

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<v Speaker 1>is there something else where you can go? Okay, like

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<v Speaker 1>this would be helpful in just being present in today,

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<v Speaker 1>in this moment. I think that that's such an important

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<v Speaker 1>question because it's something that we're all struggling with all

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<v Speaker 1>the time, is how do we stay more present and

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<v Speaker 1>more positive? And I also want you to know that

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<v Speaker 1>during the holidays, it's an undeniably stressful time and research

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<v Speaker 1>really shows about half of women and the third of

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<v Speaker 1>men actually struggle with stress during the holidays. So this

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<v Speaker 1>isn't something that's so uncommon. But I think it's really

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<v Speaker 1>important for us to start to think about, how are

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<v Speaker 1>we sort of setting an action plan to really get

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<v Speaker 1>us through these time periods that can create more joy

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<v Speaker 1>and happiness versus and feeling sort of stressed out and

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<v Speaker 1>overwhelmed all the time. And it's also really important for

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<v Speaker 1>us to understand our biology because we're like batteries, so

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<v Speaker 1>we have renewing feelings and emotion and we have depleting ones.

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<v Speaker 1>And we also have the choice and agency of of

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<v Speaker 1>what way we want to go. So if we are

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<v Speaker 1>feeling overwhelmed or stressed or not present, we can choose

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<v Speaker 1>to do certain actions that can get us into those states.

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<v Speaker 1>So you did mention things like gratitude or appreciation, but

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<v Speaker 1>there are concrete things that we can really set up

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<v Speaker 1>for success. And the basics really is really starting about

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<v Speaker 1>our own seft care, because especially during the holidays, we

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<v Speaker 1>don't think about ourselves. We're thinking so much about other people.

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<v Speaker 1>So if we start with the basics of what does

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<v Speaker 1>our sleep look like? How what are we eating, how

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<v Speaker 1>are we taking care of ourselves? How are we taking

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<v Speaker 1>time for ourselves in this busy and time when it

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<v Speaker 1>can feel so pussful, is really important. Yeah, And coming

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<v Speaker 1>into the new year, I always feel like so my

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<v Speaker 1>birthdays January three, so it's fun because I get a

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<v Speaker 1>new me year and I get a new year right

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<v Speaker 1>like within forty eight hours of each other. Um, But

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<v Speaker 1>coming into the new year, I feel like before I

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<v Speaker 1>had set all these crazy expectations for myself, Like it

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<v Speaker 1>was like, okay, I have to work out this many

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<v Speaker 1>times a week and while you know, and then and

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<v Speaker 1>then as a recovering perfectionist as I will call myself

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<v Speaker 1>real type A over here, um, I felt like then

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<v Speaker 1>the letdown was so hard and I would just be

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<v Speaker 1>so hard on myself and I'm like, well, you know

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<v Speaker 1>if I hadn't done it. So then I started to

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<v Speaker 1>adopt this policy of like I would kind of I

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<v Speaker 1>would do a shedding period in December and I would

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<v Speaker 1>do what I needed to do to just kind of

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<v Speaker 1>care for myself best over holidays families a little tricky

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<v Speaker 1>for me. And then in January I gave myself to

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<v Speaker 1>January thirty one instead of it was almost like I

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<v Speaker 1>got to try on the new routine instead of it

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<v Speaker 1>being like by January four, I'm out because I, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>had a martini. Doesn't set of pressure to do everything

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<v Speaker 1>by like well January one, like just change your life.

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<v Speaker 1>Jims are always so full, you know, like everyone's like

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<v Speaker 1>this is it, and then we feel like we burn

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves out because it's not like a slow integrated So

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<v Speaker 1>what I guess I'm asking you, is am I copying

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<v Speaker 1>out by giving myself a month? Or is it smarter

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<v Speaker 1>to slowly pace myself in for thirty one days. I

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<v Speaker 1>love the slow pace, and I also really think what

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<v Speaker 1>you're talking about is so important. We look at the

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<v Speaker 1>statistics gym memberships, dating apps. They all bank on the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that we're going to sort of set our goals

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<v Speaker 1>for January one, and by February one we're gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>burnt out. So I think it's really important to start

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<v Speaker 1>to really think about what's important to you and what

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<v Speaker 1>are your intentions. Because we know that when we sort

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<v Speaker 1>of put those vision boards up and we put all

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<v Speaker 1>those sort of pretty pictures of all the things that

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<v Speaker 1>we want, the problem is really that we get the

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<v Speaker 1>stopamine from the high of actually seeing it, and our

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<v Speaker 1>body starts to calm down and anticipate that already happened.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you want to get in better shape, or

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<v Speaker 1>you want to have that great relationship or that house,

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<v Speaker 1>you're starting to give your reward circuitry sort of that

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<v Speaker 1>this already happened and you don't actually have to work

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<v Speaker 1>towards it. But the problem is when we put those

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<v Speaker 1>vision boards or up those gold lists, we're not really

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<v Speaker 1>setting up any sort of action plans of how we're

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<v Speaker 1>actually getting there, And it's those small steps are really

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<v Speaker 1>what makes changes in our lives. And so it's amazing

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<v Speaker 1>dream of what you want for the year, what are

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<v Speaker 1>your intentions, but you are all so successful and you

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<v Speaker 1>all have such amazing sort of careers, but really thinking

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<v Speaker 1>about and the other aspects of your life, what are

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<v Speaker 1>the things that you want to do, and what are

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<v Speaker 1>the steps you're willing to take, and what are you

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<v Speaker 1>really willing to also sacrifice in order to get there.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's also really important is that we're not only

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<v Speaker 1>giving ourselves all this sort of dopamine for the reward circuitry,

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<v Speaker 1>but we're also thinking about what could go wrong, what

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<v Speaker 1>are we going to give up if we really want

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<v Speaker 1>those things? And then move towards action plans reporting because

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<v Speaker 1>the more predictability and the more action commands, and the

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<v Speaker 1>more steps we have that we can keep ourselves accountable,

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<v Speaker 1>that's when it's going to help you reach your goals.

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<v Speaker 1>I love an action plan more than I love anything. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I read a book too. It was a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>years ago. Now maybe I shoot, I think ten years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called the Happiness Project, and every month you set

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<v Speaker 1>a goal or a resolution. So it's like and it's

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<v Speaker 1>so it's not just like I'm gonna it's not just

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<v Speaker 1>one thing. It's like, every month, what is your goal

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<v Speaker 1>or what is your intention or And I just that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's has stayed with me, and I don't follow it perfectly,

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<v Speaker 1>but um, I every year I'm like, I'm gonna do that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and it's like you kind of you fall

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<v Speaker 1>off of it. But that's something that I've I've always

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<v Speaker 1>loved that and because it feels a little bit more attainable.

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<v Speaker 1>And also last year, because every um, every New Year's Eve,

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<v Speaker 1>I write down a list of my goals for relationships, um,

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<v Speaker 1>for work or personal and one of the things on

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<v Speaker 1>my last year's list was to run a marathon. First

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<v Speaker 1>it was half and then someone's like, you can do

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<v Speaker 1>better than that. You can do a marathon. I'm like, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I totally can. But I realized, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't do I didn't do a full marathon last year,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was it's nothing. I was embarrassed, but I

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<v Speaker 1>also realized, you know what, that goal, I'm not ready

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<v Speaker 1>for that one yet and I'm like, okay, I'll put

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<v Speaker 1>that back on when I'm ready. And I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>okay too to have something where if you see it

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<v Speaker 1>on your list and go, I'm just not ready yet

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<v Speaker 1>and like that being okay and not like you getting

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<v Speaker 1>upset at yourself. I just think it's so overwhelming. I

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<v Speaker 1>have the hardest time with New Year's resolutions. But that's

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<v Speaker 1>why I think that happened. This project sounds like a

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<v Speaker 1>good attainable goal because it's like to go, just list

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<v Speaker 1>all this stuff, like in reality, I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 1>do it all. So if you do like one thing

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<v Speaker 1>a month, I love that idea, as I just oh,

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<v Speaker 1>it's so overwhelming to me. So for the month of January,

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<v Speaker 1>is there one resolution or goal that you can and again,

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<v Speaker 1>it doesn't have to be like I'm going to run

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<v Speaker 1>a half mare. It's like I'm in a practice gratitude

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<v Speaker 1>as as often as I ken daily or you know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like there's something that you can think of that

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<v Speaker 1>you could start your resolution with. Yes, I have mine.

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<v Speaker 1>So mine is we're so busy in the afternoons and

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<v Speaker 1>we're running around, the older kids running around. Is to

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<v Speaker 1>have I don't know. I think we feasibly can do

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<v Speaker 1>only two nights a week, if at all, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>if not just one or two nights a week, we

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<v Speaker 1>actually sit down for dinner, we get off of our electronics.

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<v Speaker 1>As a family, we are not running to a sport.

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<v Speaker 1>We are not running to this or that, which is

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<v Speaker 1>very hard for us to do. But that's mine, January,

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<v Speaker 1>Are you ready for mine? I need intentional time with myself. Great.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, it's like New Year, knew me. I want

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<v Speaker 1>to date myself. I feel like I have two kids

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<v Speaker 1>and a very busy husband, and so whenever I can

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<v Speaker 1>find time to carve, it's either one on one time

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<v Speaker 1>with them or one on one time with my husband,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't feel like I want on one time

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<v Speaker 1>with myself. Well, I do it thirty minute workout and

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<v Speaker 1>then I'm out, you know, or like, oh I'm gonna go.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll swing by Starbucks and get a nice tea. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like that's great, like little deposits and compound interest, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's not like really settling into like maybe I just

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<v Speaker 1>check out for like three hours in an afternoon and

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<v Speaker 1>I date myself and go to like really good lunch

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<v Speaker 1>and read a book. I want to I fantasize about

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<v Speaker 1>that girl. I just miss her. So And how do

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<v Speaker 1>you think, I mean, is that a good setup to

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<v Speaker 1>have that outlook? I think, I mean, I think what

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<v Speaker 1>you're talking about is so important. Number one is that

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<v Speaker 1>you're not overwhelming your nervous system with a million things

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<v Speaker 1>that you're not going to get to new and Jenny

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<v Speaker 1>even talking about the marath on, I love the re

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<v Speaker 1>shift for yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't you're

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<v Speaker 1>not going to put it back on the list for

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<v Speaker 1>this year, and maybe it goes on the top of

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<v Speaker 1>the list if it feels something really important or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're starting to reevaluate is that something that I really

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<v Speaker 1>want to do or something that I felt like I

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<v Speaker 1>had to do? Because doing a marathon is a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of work, it's a lot of training, it's a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of preparation, and are you willing to give up other

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<v Speaker 1>things in your life in order to make that commitment?

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<v Speaker 1>And so oftentimes we put these things on the list

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<v Speaker 1>and we set ourselves up for failure, or it was

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<v Speaker 1>someone else's goal in mind, that was the piece that

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I put half marathon and I did that,

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<v Speaker 1>but I put marathon to please or to or because

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<v Speaker 1>it was someone else's idea rather than my. Now, I again,

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<v Speaker 1>I would love to do it. I'm just not ready,

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<v Speaker 1>like you said to to do that. But I think

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<v Speaker 1>I compromise my own what I wanted to please or

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<v Speaker 1>to look a certain way or whatever. And you didn't

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<v Speaker 1>also celebrate your success enough with your half marathon. That's

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<v Speaker 1>an amazing accomplishment and standing at that and saying that

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<v Speaker 1>actually really felt amazing to me. I'm really proud of

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<v Speaker 1>what I did, versus feeling like you have to do more.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's what we get tricky, and the sort of

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<v Speaker 1>these goals at the end of the year or for

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<v Speaker 1>New Year's um where we we sort of just don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel motivated or feel good about ourselves, and they start

0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.440
<v Speaker 1>making us feel not enough or not important. And so

0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:31.880
<v Speaker 1>setting it up where you're having monthly goals or monthly

0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:35.120
<v Speaker 1>intentions that you're working towards because we're always growing as

0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:38.160
<v Speaker 1>human beings, and this gives you an opportunity to not

0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:42.079
<v Speaker 1>only know ourselves deeper and develop that relationship that maybe

0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.600
<v Speaker 1>you are spending three hours in the afternoon, maybe it's

0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:46.720
<v Speaker 1>only once a month or twice a month, and maybe

0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:49.600
<v Speaker 1>you're just getting those joy deposits every single day where

0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 1>you're going to get your coffee or your gym or

0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.120
<v Speaker 1>your time with your girlfriend, but you're really setting this

0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:57.320
<v Speaker 1>up to this is important. This is something that I

0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:58.960
<v Speaker 1>want to work on. This is where I want to

0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 1>grow myself and my relationship with myself because you're all

0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:05.600
<v Speaker 1>here and it's all our divine lives and we get

0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:07.680
<v Speaker 1>to choose how we want to live them every single day.

0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 1>To celebrating myself is actually on my list for this year.

0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:14.200
<v Speaker 1>That's great because it's crazy because to me, it's like, oh,

0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 1>I have to win an former me would say I

0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.120
<v Speaker 1>have to win an award to celebrate myself or it

0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:23.400
<v Speaker 1>has to be like whatever, something like big. But truly,

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:25.240
<v Speaker 1>just the fact that I want to send time with

0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:28.920
<v Speaker 1>myself is a celebration for me because I have just

0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:30.920
<v Speaker 1>done a lot of work and feel really like, you know,

0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:33.400
<v Speaker 1>like actually like me, which is and I've never been

0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.520
<v Speaker 1>able to say that really before I would say it

0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:37.160
<v Speaker 1>to myself, but to say it out loud, I was

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:41.119
<v Speaker 1>um conceded. Whatever. Everybody here knows I'm not that way.

0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.920
<v Speaker 1>But it's like celebrating all the tiny things I love

0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 1>a toast before dinner because I feel like you have

0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.560
<v Speaker 1>to come up with something to cheers too, and I

0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.760
<v Speaker 1>just want to live more daily in a cheers mode.

0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.480
<v Speaker 1>I think that will just bring you. I mean, I'm

0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 1>that way. I have to have my alone time, I

0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.600
<v Speaker 1>have to celebrate myself all of those things where I

0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:03.240
<v Speaker 1>almost I'm just a worse person for everybody around me. Yeah.

0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:06.319
<v Speaker 1>So I think that you'll really you don't have to

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.800
<v Speaker 1>do a lot because you really loved you, don't I mean,

0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 1>you don't you like your alone time? Oh? I love

0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.040
<v Speaker 1>alone I just never get it. But I fantasize my

0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.559
<v Speaker 1>kids are still a priority, like that's one of my

0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:20.040
<v Speaker 1>very top priorities, or I just can't function. We're in

0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:23.080
<v Speaker 1>a season, so my son is my daughter is now seven,

0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.640
<v Speaker 1>and my son is four, and so it's like that

0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:29.880
<v Speaker 1>those tiny years it was hard to just find, you know,

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.960
<v Speaker 1>like you can't even go to the bathroom. Yeah. So

0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:34.520
<v Speaker 1>now I'm starting to feel like I can breathe just

0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:37.400
<v Speaker 1>a tiny bit. Not for long. You can do it.

0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna try. I'm gonna love it. It's harder when

0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:44.320
<v Speaker 1>the tagers too. Yeah. I'm kind of in that sweet

0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.840
<v Speaker 1>spot because I have like thirteen, ten and six, so

0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:48.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm like getting a break. The thirteen year old isn't

0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.240
<v Speaker 1>quite like teenager going out all the time yet, so

0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I'm going to enjoy this until it's crazy again.

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 1>It's kind of nice, I think, when you're also talking

0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.600
<v Speaker 1>about for so many women, is really starting to love

0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:04.000
<v Speaker 1>yourself such an important message because so many women feel

0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.640
<v Speaker 1>like they have to come after their children, after their partners,

0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:10.760
<v Speaker 1>and they're so last on the list. And by talking

0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:14.679
<v Speaker 1>about prioritizing yourself and really making you the best version

0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:16.680
<v Speaker 1>of you, You're going to be a better mom, gonna

0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:18.240
<v Speaker 1>be a better partner, You're gonna be a better friend,

0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna be a better coworker. And that's such an

0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:24.120
<v Speaker 1>important message that we need now more than ever, especially

0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:28.600
<v Speaker 1>for women. It made me tearful, which piece the part

0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 1>where yeah, it's because we do. I think it just

0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.600
<v Speaker 1>took me a minute to understand that, Like I don't

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.800
<v Speaker 1>have to pause my life because I'm raising them. Like

0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:41.840
<v Speaker 1>even that podcast has done that for me. It's like

0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:43.560
<v Speaker 1>it may just be an hour a week where I'm

0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:44.840
<v Speaker 1>with my friends, but I get to go back to

0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.200
<v Speaker 1>my true self and I get to do the radio

0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 1>side of me or the the you know, just the

0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.040
<v Speaker 1>vulnerable side of me, or the oversharing side of me

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.360
<v Speaker 1>in a way that's productive and feels like I connect.

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 1>But I haven't had that for so long. I was um.

0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.960
<v Speaker 1>I worked in the music industry on like the business

0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.480
<v Speaker 1>side and the radio side before I had met my

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.960
<v Speaker 1>husband and he's an artist, and so I became a

0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:08.600
<v Speaker 1>state at home mom. So it was like one eight

0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.880
<v Speaker 1>and I really struggle. Postpartum was hard. Everything was just

0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 1>so different that I feel like I had that brain

0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:19.080
<v Speaker 1>that if if I do anything, that I'm sacrificing our family,

0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:21.480
<v Speaker 1>and it's just not the case, Like we can do

0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.960
<v Speaker 1>all of these things at the same time. We don't

0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 1>have to like wait to train that part of our

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:30.640
<v Speaker 1>brains where it's like all this has to be before

0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.920
<v Speaker 1>we can think about and we need to retrain society

0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:35.040
<v Speaker 1>a little bit, if I'm honest, because I feel like

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.120
<v Speaker 1>that's part of the piece that makes us feel like

0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:40.200
<v Speaker 1>we have to be a certain way and that's just

0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.760
<v Speaker 1>not true. No. But I also think though, too, we

0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.400
<v Speaker 1>like to have I like to have the certain control

0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:49.600
<v Speaker 1>that I don't want to give up, as well as

0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.080
<v Speaker 1>a as a mom, when I even when a co parent,

0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.280
<v Speaker 1>or even when I was married to you know, to Mike,

0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:58.120
<v Speaker 1>I was like, there's certain things that I think we're

0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.440
<v Speaker 1>just better at. To be honest, I know we're better

0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.920
<v Speaker 1>at scheduling, and you know, so it's like and and

0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.080
<v Speaker 1>and then I think because we know that and we're

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:07.960
<v Speaker 1>really good at, then we take on additional things that

0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:12.480
<v Speaker 1>we shouldn't take on, right. I think the better way

0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.480
<v Speaker 1>to do that is to acknowledge what we're really great

0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:16.720
<v Speaker 1>at and still do it because it's going to fail

0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:19.720
<v Speaker 1>if not, but find other things that maybe we can

0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.800
<v Speaker 1>that we could real english. That's what I've covering perfectionists.

0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:27.120
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing that we can't nail, so we can nail

0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:29.120
<v Speaker 1>all of it, so we don't have to sake Okay,

0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:32.360
<v Speaker 1>I need to have a one on one with this chick. Well,

0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:34.480
<v Speaker 1>I think you're also sort of talking about sort of

0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:36.880
<v Speaker 1>the constructs that we put on ourselves. So when you're

0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:40.040
<v Speaker 1>talking about that we have to do these things or

0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.920
<v Speaker 1>we're the ones that are better at scheduling, those are

0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.240
<v Speaker 1>sort of the value systems that you're imposing on yourselves

0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.200
<v Speaker 1>and how you feel good about yourself. And sometimes if

0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.880
<v Speaker 1>you relinquish it. It may fail, it may not be

0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:53.200
<v Speaker 1>as perfect as it is for you. But I think

0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:56.359
<v Speaker 1>for you, for you to really decide is this important?

0:16:56.800 --> 0:16:59.080
<v Speaker 1>Is this value about myself or someone that can do

0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.840
<v Speaker 1>it all? Is that really important? Or am I creating

0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:04.200
<v Speaker 1>more space and time for myself where I'm letting things

0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 1>go that may not be perfect or may not be

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:08.399
<v Speaker 1>as good as I want them to be. What is

0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 1>creating opportunities for me to grow? And that gets right

0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.600
<v Speaker 1>back into what you're talking about with the monthly challenge

0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.440
<v Speaker 1>of really setting it up, of trying one new thing

0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:19.360
<v Speaker 1>that you're wanting to really kind of work on and develop.

0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:21.600
<v Speaker 1>And I want you to be a little flexible with

0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.000
<v Speaker 1>that too, because it might be you really get into

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:27.800
<v Speaker 1>something like um. An emotion that I really love is

0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.760
<v Speaker 1>appreciation and doing small things like when you're going to

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:34.080
<v Speaker 1>the grocery store and mentioning someone's name and telling them

0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:35.920
<v Speaker 1>that you appreciate them. It allows you to be really

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:38.600
<v Speaker 1>present with another human being even if you don't know that.

0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.720
<v Speaker 1>Or when you're traveling and you see your mom who's

0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.240
<v Speaker 1>struggling with a toddler and going over and sort of

0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:46.720
<v Speaker 1>talking to the kid and distracting him for a moment

0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:49.600
<v Speaker 1>and allowing you to again have this human connection where

0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.480
<v Speaker 1>other people can appreciate you and you can appreciate other people.

0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:55.560
<v Speaker 1>And so that may be something that becomes over arching

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.200
<v Speaker 1>where you're really working on that feeling an emotional state

0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.160
<v Speaker 1>for yourself that really brings you a lot of renewing

0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 1>feeling and again going back to that energy um of

0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.760
<v Speaker 1>really allowing your battery to get recharged within you. But

0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.040
<v Speaker 1>there are might other things that might be shorter challenges

0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.440
<v Speaker 1>for yourself and and hav enough flexibility is gonna be

0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:17.320
<v Speaker 1>so important as well. Oh that's great flexibility. That's really good. Um.

0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for coming on and just dropping

0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.280
<v Speaker 1>these little nuggets for the new year. You guys are amazing.

0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.640
<v Speaker 1>You're so sweet and I look forward to hearing more

0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.280
<v Speaker 1>about more all of your tips and more information about

0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:30.840
<v Speaker 1>the new year, New you. I love it. Thank keep

0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:32.840
<v Speaker 1>it up all right so we'll have you back on.

0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:35.880
<v Speaker 1>Thank you girl, Thank you. By Susan