WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: "Transmutation" by Katherine Sparrow 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:03.240 Call Zone Media. 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:12.840 Book Club Club book Club. I wonder if that'll ever 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:16.480 get old or the listener the fact that you can't 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:24.560 coordinate I chant over zoom. Yeah, but you can introduce 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:27.520 Coolson Media book Club, which comes out every Sunday and 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:31.040 is a piece of fiction read by me Margaret Kilchroy. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:34.960 And today my guest is the only award winning guest 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:42.760 we've ever had, Sophie Lichterman. Hi, maybe other people have 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:43.960 won awards. I'm not sure. 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:46.640 They only give them to me legally. 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:52.080 Oh okay, yeah, all awards in the world go to Sophie. 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:54.520 That seems fair. Sophie does all of the work in 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:57.880 the world, including running all of the great cool Zone 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:00.800 Media podcasts that you listen to, whether on micro behind 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:04.720 the scenes. But I was like, I want Sophie to 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:05.759 be the guest of this story. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:10.160 Well, I've been requesting this specific kind of story since 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:14.080 we first started talking about doing this book club series. 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.360 I know, and I'm going to still find you another 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:21.039 Sophie has asked for a love story. Yeah, and this 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:24.440 is not a This is not a happy ending love story, 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:26.640 but it is a story about the complications of love 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.480 and it is a one of the best uses of 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:35.319 genre fiction to describe relationship dynamics that I've ever read, 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.200 and so I was excited to have you on for 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:42.560 it because this week's story is by an author named 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:43.720 Catherine Sparrow. 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:44.319 Oh. 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:45.720 Catherine Sparrow. 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:50.640 Cool, Oh, awesome, cool, Oh, I'm so excited. Catherine Sparrow 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.800 is a writer who is deeply interested in creating stories 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.840 about transformation, struggle, and solidarity. You can check out her 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:59.520 debut fantasy book, Little Apocalypse, which is about deadly monsters 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:04.160 and a kid who loves them. And this particular story 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:08.280 was originally published in Fantasy Magazine under the title Chemical Magic, 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.280 but it comes to us under the title Transmutation. 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:15.480 I'm so excited. This is going to be so nice 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.560 and just some context for the listeners. I have had 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:21.520 back to back to back to back to back stuff 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:25.040 this entire day, and I was like, Magpie, can I 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:28.799 get ten minutes to eat? And her suggestion was, why 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:30.760 don't you mute yourself while I read you this story? 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:34.799 And I was like, lunch hower story time, I highly 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:40.080 recommend soothing eating while listening to Magpie. Tell me a 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:48.399 love story that of sorts doesn't actually end with Hollywood 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:50.840 ending with a Hollywood ending that doesn't actually end with 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:51.680 a Hollywood ending. 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:55.960 Yeah, and I want to at some point, I'm going 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:58.000 to get you another love story to read, because there 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:01.200 are really good stories that do end with a little 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.400 bit more happiness. But I just I really like this story. 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:11.519 Transmutation by Catherine sparrom One. The magician pulled a rabbit, 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:15.040 a sock, monkey, a rainbow, and a flowering plum tree 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:18.160 out of his hat. He reached in deeper for everything 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:21.560 that was missing. He searched for something, anything, that would 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:23.519 make it right and bring her back from the far 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:27.480 off land seventeen subway stops away. His gap toothed audience, 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:31.040 smiling and applauding, yelled for him to do more. While 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:34.920 the birthday boy sucked on a large purple lollipop. The 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:38.240 magician began pulling kerchiefs from his sleeve, a huge pile 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:41.480 of bright colored silks, never ending as they fell onto 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:44.720 the floor around his shiny leather boots. He stared down 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.120 at them and knew, no matter how long he kept pulling, 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.280 that there could never be enough to cover his grief. 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:55.960 When his performance was done, the children clapped, the parents smiled, 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.840 He bowed, and scurried home to his lonely apartment, empty 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.800 except for the box that was his best trick, if 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:08.000 only a girl allowed him to do it. The Alchemist 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.200 scratched her nose with a gnawed fingernail and watched the 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:15.320 flow of information that turned pithy phrases into charitable donations. 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:19.240 She clicked over to the Alchemist's for Peace project's financial 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.120 page and made a complicated exchange that turned euros into 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:25.800 gold sterling. She felt a small contentment and held on 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:29.839 to that feeling until it faded away. Maybe I'll go 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.200 see a movie, she said out loud, as though she 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:36.000 had roommates. She scratched her belly along the red lined 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:39.240 scar and missed him for a moment. There were still 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:40.360 good memories. 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:41.440 That made her ache. 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.599 She looked out the window and saw one of the 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.880 Magician's doves pecking at his foot, where a message had 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:50.719 been tied to his leg. The Alchemist opened the window, 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:54.920 took the trembling bird into her hands, and untied the message. 0:04:55.000 --> 0:05:02.160 She turned the paper into fire. Two two months earlier, 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.120 the magician stood on the dance floor wondering how to 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:07.839 magic his feet into graceful motion rather than the choppy 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.040 glitched movement of a thirteen year old boy. He hated 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:14.280 his dancing, but hated more those men who stood in 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.240 the club's shadows and watched without ever moving their bodies. 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:20.880 So he bounced and swayed while his elbows jerked backwards 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:25.159 in a hopeless gesture. He hit something soft that squished 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.919 and said out. He spun around to see a woman 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.479 holding her breast and glaring at him. She had the 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:35.800 kind of breasts he loved, round and droopy. Sorry, he 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:40.200 mouthed over the bass boom. She rolled her eyes. He 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.160 tried to elbow himself in the chest. It only seemed fair, 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.000 but the laws of physics only allowed him a blow 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:48.800 to the belly. At least it made her smile a little. 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:53.320 Her hard edged face turned lovely for a moment. She 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:55.800 flinched a little when he reached forward and pulled a 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.760 lollipop from behind her ear. She shook her head and 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.159 patted her lips with two fingers, so he reached behind 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.080 her other ear and pulled out a cigarette. He followed 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.560 her outside, out past the butchy ladies, comparing pecks to 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:11.640 the alley full of rain and soggy cardboard. I'm the 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:16.560 magician he said, alchemist, she replied. She took a mode 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.599 of dust from her pocket and placed it on the 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.960 edge of her cigarette. She turned the dust into flame. 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:26.479 Those things will kill you, he said, Cancer turned cells 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:31.480 into monsters, she said, with professional admiration. The alchemist offered 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:33.760 him a drag, and he took it, shivering a little 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:37.560 when he placed the wet tip on his lips. So, magician, 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:43.040 what kind of magic are you into? He shrugged? Anything? Really, 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.080 magic is all one thing underneath. I keep most of 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:48.560 my tricks small so I don't scare people, so they 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:52.960 don't ask too many questions. You know I do, she smiled. 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.719 At least people understand what a magician is. Everyone thinks 0:06:56.760 --> 0:07:00.920 an alchemist makes perfume. One time I turned per fumano urine, 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:04.880 but that's not really my thing. Why'd you do it? Oh, 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:08.680 A lover cheated on me. The magician nodded. He thought 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.960 about the women he'd been with, how they'd all turned 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:14.680 from something magical into something awful. Maybe an alchemist could 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:18.120 keep that from happening. I bet your current lover doesn't cheat, 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:21.600 he said, trying not to sound too obvious. She raised 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:26.120 one eyebrow. I hope he won't. She stared until the 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:30.080 magician felt himself turning into something hot and bothered. She 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:33.600 walked away, and he followed, listening as she turned words 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:37.600 into a smoldering flirtation. He pulled flower after flower from 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:40.840 his breast pocket until he found her favorite, a collar lily, 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.320 and tucked it behind her ear. She turned his apartment 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:48.520 key into an invitation. He led her through his doorway 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:51.400 and into the world of his magical carpet, his magical bed, 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:56.440 and his magical bathtub, all of which are's for sale 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:00.520 from our sponsors. Get your own magical carpet, bed, and 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:05.880 bathtub from Magical Bed, bathtub, carpet, and beyond. 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.000 I was hoping you were going to do the beyond part. 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:09.560 It was like it was right there. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:11.480 Yes, it's pretty much necessary. 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:28.200 Yeah, and we're back. 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:34.600 Three. Some days they made elaborate plans and then never 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:37.240 ended up leaving the bed. Other days they would go 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.800 to the movies like teenagers in search of a dark space. 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:43.199 They would come out dazed, not having any idea what 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:46.000 it was about. I want to know everything about you, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.960 the magician said. The alchemist reminded herself to stay safe. 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.520 She pulled herself out of his arms. Insighed, you know 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:55.520 what happens when you get too close to an alchemist. 0:08:56.880 --> 0:09:01.280 I'd like to find out, the magician teased, he understood nothing. 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:04.040 He grinned, took a pair of lovebirds out of his 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:06.880 vest pocket and let them fly into the air. They 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:10.120 swooped and swirled around each other, fainting and surging in 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.600 a secret bird dance, before settling down on the magician's shoulder. 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.520 One thing becomes another, she lectured him, objects lose integrity. 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:23.480 Transmutation is a true danger of my profession. She talked 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:26.720 on about how it worked, but wasn't sure why she bothered. 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:31.119 He played with his birds and didn't listen. He didn't understand. 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:35.000 Maybe he didn't want to. The alchemist took one of 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:38.280 the birds into her hands and licked her fingers. When 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:41.240 she stroked its green feathered head, its feathers grew black 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.240 and crow like. She whispered in its ear to be 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:51.000 free and let the bird fly. Four. I want to 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:53.200 see what you can really do, he said to her. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.079 One day at the park, all the squirrels watched her, 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.600 and all the boats in the sailboat pond blew towards her. 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:03.400 The magician couldn't tear his attention away from her, and 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.280 his magic leaked out all over the park. It filled 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.600 him up and spilled all over. He'd never been happier. 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.439 What I can really do, she smiled, with equal parts 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:17.360 condescension and affection. She liked him, he knew that, but 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:20.720 not as much as he liked her. She kept her distance. 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:25.360 He hated that most things can become most other things, 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:28.280 She said. The key is to figuring out how it changes, 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:33.320 like water into wine. You wonder how Jesus did it, Sure, 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.559 the magician said. He glanced around, hoping no one religious 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:39.880 stood nearby. The only people nearby were little kids trying 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:41.760 to push their boats away from her and back out 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:46.280 to the middle of the pool. So there are both liquids. 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.640 That helps, but it doesn't go very far. Water quenches 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:53.720 one kind of thirst, and wine another physiological and psychological, 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:57.760 so that moves them closer together. Then consider how water 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:00.520 to the thirsty is a relief, and how alkyl to 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:04.360 the wary is a relief. She gazed out across the 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.280 oval pond. When I hold all of that in my mind, 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.160 then it is only a small step into knowing what 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.920 chemical compounds are needed. To bridge the difference between them. 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.760 She opened her clunky purse and took out what looked 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:20.040 like a moldy bread crumb. She flicked it into the water, 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:24.200 and it sank down between the bobbing miniature sailboats. The 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:26.680 magician blinked, and in the time it took for his 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:30.040 eyes to flutter back open, the water became a dark 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:34.760 red stain stretching the length of the pool. The alchemist 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:37.160 cupped her hand and dipped it into the liquid. She 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:42.199 sipped it delicately, A fine sancho vesse, you are amazing. 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.440 I love you. The words slipped out, and he wondered 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:48.320 if she had given him something to turn his infatuation 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:52.840 into something deeper. Her wary smile told him she had not. 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:56.640 The magician lowered his mouth to the red liquid of 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:59.120 the pond and drank as much as he could without choking. 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.800 Your face is a mess, she said. When he sat 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:06.160 back up again, A cold breeze blew across the pond, 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:10.120 capsizing some of the sailboats. They left as kids started 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:13.120 crying and parents began swearing and making phone calls to 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:14.320 the city water department. 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:16.200 Five. 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:21.160 They spent Monday through Friday playing phone tag, always missing 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.920 each other. The alchemist was busy with guild meetings, dinner 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:28.920 with friends, and deadlines. She watched the magician's anger when 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:33.080 he couldn't spend time with her. She worried over his brooding. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.079 She tried to educate him about balance and object integrity. 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.440 The magician left flowers that bloomed into other flowers on 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:44.439 her doorstep. He made her a box of endless chocolates. 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:47.840 The treffles made me a little sick, she admitted later. 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:52.240 I turned them into toffees less intense, I guess with 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.600 little gestures and words. She tried to keep both of 0:12:54.600 --> 0:13:00.920 them safe, even though he was such a pretty magician. Six, 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.880 show me a trick, the alchemist said to the magician. 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:07.640 They sat at a booth in a restaurant where the 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:10.640 food was much too greasy. But she had sprinkled her 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.360 own salt on top of the fried blintzes to turn 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:17.199 them nourishing and healthy without losing any taste. She turned 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:19.679 their sprites into gin and tonics, and both of them 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:22.920 were tipsy. The magician put on a smile and held 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:26.160 up his fork. It drooped in the middle. She laughed 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:29.120 and brushed her fingers across his forearm. He felt a 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.959 chasm between them, even though she sat two feet away. 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.440 More please, she sucked on her straw. He liked the 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:41.280 way alcohol softened her. Magic is fussy, it comes and goes, 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:44.440 he said. It's an art, not a science. He said 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.520 the words that all magicians are taught to say in 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.880 order to hide their inadequacy. And if you want to 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:53.520 hide your inadequacy, you can buy a brand new car 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:59.319 from cars Are Bus. I hope that's not a real. 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:03.000 Thing, but I feel like there are brands that are 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:04.160 very similar to that. 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:07.720 I was gonna be like cart Calm, but that's probably real. 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.520 There's ones that are like, get your car from a 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:14.719 vending machine type shit, and I'm like, sure. 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:18.880 Yeah, why not. You can get anything from any of 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:24.160 our sponsors. You call them. They will sell you anything 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:28.160 that you ask for, as long as it's legal to sell. 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:30.800 And not a crime for me to say that you 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:39.240 should call them to ask for But here are those ads, 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:54.840 and we're back. She nodded and yawned into the palm 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.360 of her hand. He was losing her. The magician ran 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:00.880 his hand through her hair as much remind himself that 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.680 he could. As for the feel of her tangled curls 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:07.160 that came undone beneath his touch. Magic can be dangerous, 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.960 he said. He sipped the perfectly balanced gin and tonic 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:14.080 for small things. It will act predictably, but it's like electricity, 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.920 always taking the most direct path home, and the bigger 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.200 the magic. The mor can spark and spike. His hands 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:23.480 shook and he looked away, explaining any of it made 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.400 him feel naked in a new way. But you're a 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:28.760 really good magician, right, the alchemist asked. 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:30.080 He nodded. 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.680 He wanted it to be true, and besides, she looked 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:37.080 so interested. There is one trick, my best trick, he said. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.160 Maybe she would finally be the girl who liked it. 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:43.640 Drink all of that, he ordered her, and then took 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:45.800 a big gulp of his own drink. Let's go to 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.360 my place. The magician pulled five dollar bills out of 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.600 his nose until he had enough to cover the bill. 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.280 He clutched her hand as they walked through the dusky 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:59.360 city and up the stairs to his apartment. A month ago. 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.000 She turned and his dryer lint into lavender seeds, and 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:05.120 the whole place smelt hopeful. The magician took off his 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:07.280 vest and hat, and gestured for the alchemist to sit 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.640 at his kitchen table for tonight and one night only. 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.560 He began come see the magician's most daring and death, 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.800 the fine trick. He paused and studied the curl of 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:19.840 her smile. Her fingers twitched and a pack of cards 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:24.480 appeared in one hand. She raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Good 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.720 start with low stakes, as though nothing interesting would happen. 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:30.080 He threw the cards up into the air and they 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:34.400 burst into tiny fireworks before disappearing. He coughed and then 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.640 pulled a three foot long rapier out of his mouth. 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.560 The razor sharp edge cut the top of his palate 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:44.680 and his mouth filled with blood. The alchemist applauded it 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.040 was time. We are ready for this, He decided. For 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.520 my next trick, I will need an assistant. Is there 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.960 anyone in the audience, any brave girl willing to help? 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.600 The alchemist raised her hand, and the magician spent a 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.120 long moment scanning his lazy boy his fish tank in 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:02.680 the stereo before finally noticing her. Ah, yes, you fine lady. 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:07.439 What is your name? The alchemist? She said primly, Ah, 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:11.040 a perfumest in the house. How lovely. She stuck her 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.000 tongue out and took his outstretched hand. You sure about this, 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.640 he whispered, You trust me. You wanted that more than anything. 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.560 She hesitated, and then nodded. He led her into the 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.959 bedroom and over to the box that sat near his window. 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:26.760 It stood on sixteen legs, and every inch of it 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:30.240 was carved and painted with a faded carnival cobalt and umber. 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.320 The magician opened the lid and gestured for the alchemist 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:35.800 to lay down within it. The length of her body 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.000 went inside the box, while her head and feet stuck 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:42.040 out the ends. One thing, she said, looking a bit frozen. 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:46.679 If I say stop, you have to Her boundary hit 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:49.440 the magician like a slap. He smiled, shut the lid 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:53.359 to the box, and slid four different bolts shut. The 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:55.280 magician opened a slim drawer in the side of the 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.440 box and took out two panes of glass, knife sharpened 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:02.080 along one edge. His hands trembled as he showed them 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:05.560 to her. Peering through them and smiling, The colors of 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.680 her face bleached out to white. Magic and need bubbled 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.240 through him, seeking release. He took the sheets and held 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.639 them above the perfectly fitted slots of the box that 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:18.120 lay just above her belly. She cleared her throat, about 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:21.679 to say something, maybe about leaving him. We both need this, 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:25.159 he thought. It will bring us closer. He plunged the 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:28.680 panes of glass into her through her magic flushed through him, 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.480 hard and down. It caught on her spinal cord before 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:36.399 slicing through. She screamed, quiet, it doesn't hurt. He said, 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:38.680 that was part of the trick. The magician didn't look 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.280 at her face, but knelt down and rolled away the 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:44.000 two separate pieces of the box. Through the glass, he 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:47.680 could see her internal landscape. She can't hide from me anymore, 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:51.119 he thought. Her scream turned into a short, panting breath. 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:55.879 Look away, she whispered. Please. He had already split her 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:58.720 in two, so how could he resist. He turned torso 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.840 side and watched a lovely redcarp flit about, moving in 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:04.920 and out of her undulating organs. Its mouth gaped in 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:08.879 open o shape around her stomach. He saw Grandma curled 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.280 up and sleeping with her grandchild. The magician smiled and 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:15.840 peered closer. Something tar like oozed around her liver, taking 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:20.560 on shadowy menacing forms. Please stop, put me back together, Please, 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:24.399 she begged. It doesn't hurt, the magician repeated. Everyone is 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.600 so sure it will hurt, but it doesn't. I'm a 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:31.320 good magician, so it doesn't. The magician turned to look 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:33.960 into her lower half. At the center lay a coiled 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.199 pit viper, who pulled back its head and struck at 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:39.159 the glass. He studied the marrow of her slit bones 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:42.720 and watched rainbow swirling through her left side. A whispering 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:45.479 came from her right. He leaned close, but he couldn't 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.720 make out any of the words. You're way more amazing 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:51.320 than any other woman I've looked into, not that there's 0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:53.960 been many, he added, hurriedly, not wanting her to think 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:57.000 this meant nothing to him. When he was done, he 0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:59.240 pushed the two sides of the box back together and 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:02.359 looked at her face. Her eyes looked cartoonish and huge. 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.760 It doesn't hurt, he whispered. It may be shocking, but 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:06.400 there's no pain. 0:20:06.720 --> 0:20:06.880 Right. 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:10.159 He took out four more panes of glass to separate 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:12.480 her legs from each other, and to sever a section 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:14.840 of her torso off. There was still so much more 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:18.320 to see. He saw everything, and she made sense to him. 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:20.520 Now He saw that she loved him in the curl 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:24.600 of bright green leaves growing through her steadfast heart. Feeling 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:26.840 sated and a little faint, he pushed the box back 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:29.040 together and pulled out the panes of glass streaked with 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.399 red and a faint sheen of viscerah. He held his 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:35.040 hand over the box, let magic flow out and through him, 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:39.360 putting her back together until he became empty. He unlocked 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:41.639 the box and pulled her limp form out, pulling her 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:45.120 into his arms. She wouldn't look at him and kept 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:48.960 her face turned away like a stubborn child. He went 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:51.119 to go get two glasses of water from the kitchen. 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:55.639 She had lost fluids and was probably thirsty. He couldn't 0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:58.359 wait to tell her what he'd seen, what he knew now. 0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:02.439 When he came back, she was gone. She turned the 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:04.840 front door into a massive wasp nest and written a 0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:09.240 note she left on the box. I warned you. He 0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:12.240 started crying. He thought she'd be the one who would 0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:14.920 be a good box girl. He had hoped an alchemist 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:18.280 would understand him, and she loved him. He knew that 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:22.199 he'd seen it. Maybe she needed a little time. He 0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:24.440 turned back to the box and ran a finger along 0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:27.560 one of the glass panes. He touched his reddened finger 0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:31.560 to his tongue, tasting her It held nuances of smoke, rain, 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:34.439 and fresh bread. He took each of the glass panes 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:38.840 and licked them clean. The magician slept an uneasy sleep 0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:41.200 and woke with the feeling that his half remembered dreams 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:43.760 had all been violent. He got up to make his 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:46.720 coffee and felt a weight and shift of gravity within 0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.719 his body. Something fluttered in his belly, and he ran 0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:51.879 to the bathroom. Just getting to the toilet, as he 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:55.440 started throwing up, red carp slipped out of his throat 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:58.240 and into the toilet bowl. They swam in circles in 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:01.280 the water. He ran a hand through his hair and 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:05.280 it felt thick and curly like the alchemist's. When he peed, 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:07.880 he felt the sting of snake venom, burning as urethra 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:11.600 from the inside. He called the Alchemist and left her 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:14.720 a long message, saying that he missed her and loved her, 0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:17.160 and that yesterday had been the best moment of his life. 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:22.280 His voice squawked and brayed like a teenager's. Not knowing 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.080 what to do, he made eggs and toast, but they 0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:27.520 tasted wrong in his mouth. He drank black coffee instead, 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:31.440 just like she liked it. Wasps swarmed around his food, 0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:35.080 stealing tiny chunks with their front legs and buzzing around him. 0:22:35.400 --> 0:22:38.280 He left her another message, saying some weird things were happening, 0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:41.720 what should he do to change back? Then he left 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:45.160 another telling her how beautiful she was inside and out, 0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:49.760 but mostly inside. Two days later, he started to shake. 0:22:50.400 --> 0:22:53.159 At first, it was a physical sensation, but it invaded everything, 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:55.879 and he panicked, unable to calm down, to sit still, 0:22:55.920 --> 0:22:58.800 to do anything but freak out. Someone had cut him 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:02.400 up into pieces. He loved, had done that and liked it, 0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:05.040 and he couldn't catch his breath. And also that someone 0:23:05.119 --> 0:23:07.120 was him, and he had loved it, and he had 0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:11.239 cried and cried loud and ugly. He went to his 0:23:11.280 --> 0:23:13.720