WEBVTT - Back That Gazz Up: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)

0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:11.000
<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking Mini Your soul MANI episode, motherfucking Mini Your sol.

0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:17.840
<v Speaker 2>Yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies

0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:22.639
<v Speaker 2>and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama told.

0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:26.000
<v Speaker 3>Me the podcast would we dive deep into the pockets

0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:27.840
<v Speaker 3>of black conspiracy theories.

0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:31.400
<v Speaker 2>And we finally work to approve the theories that you

0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:35.160
<v Speaker 2>the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode, Baby,

0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:41.240
<v Speaker 2>you know the deal. But but but is the correct response.

0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:44.200
<v Speaker 2>It's a chance for you idiots to tell us your

0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:49.160
<v Speaker 2>stupid thoughts and then we share our completely unthoughtful opinions

0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:52.560
<v Speaker 2>on them. We don't think about it at all, never once. Yeah,

0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.760
<v Speaker 2>it's a David and I'm sure you can you can

0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.680
<v Speaker 2>affirm this. You've never we've never gotten on and had

0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.680
<v Speaker 2>like a strategy meeting about how to approach the emails.

0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:03.360
<v Speaker 3>No, I come in hot. I was watching Milli Vanilli

0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:05.520
<v Speaker 3>not four minutes ago you were.

0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.119
<v Speaker 2>You were watching Milli Vanilli and we had a pretty

0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:11.520
<v Speaker 2>lengthy conversation about about their history.

0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, their lineage there. You know, I just want to say,

0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:17.319
<v Speaker 3>ri Ipeter Vanilly.

0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:25.319
<v Speaker 2>We missed you Vanilly. We the way you pretended to

0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:31.720
<v Speaker 2>sing those songs was almost unmatched. Were it not for MILLI, yeah,

0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:35.360
<v Speaker 2>shout though, shout out to Milly, he'd be doing it.

0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:44.319
<v Speaker 2>And he's still doing it. He never gave up. All right,

0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:49.960
<v Speaker 2>we can't bullshit because time we have an email and

0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.120
<v Speaker 2>this is an exciting email. Uh and the the sound

0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.640
<v Speaker 2>of my daughter's bath is running in the background, which

0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.800
<v Speaker 2>only punctuates the email even more. It just makes it

0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:02.200
<v Speaker 2>all very romantic in a certain way. I don't know

0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:06.480
<v Speaker 2>why a baby's bathwater makes it romantic. I decided I

0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:10.640
<v Speaker 2>didn't like the way I phrased that sentence and regretted immediately.

0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:10.919
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:12.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm on your side for most things, but that was

0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:16.080
<v Speaker 2>not great. No, it was real bad. And I just

0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.960
<v Speaker 2>want to apologize to the listeners and my baby, everybody

0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:24.160
<v Speaker 2>hurt by what I said. Me so sorry.

0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:28.800
<v Speaker 3>But two of the listeners as well, A grown woman's

0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:34.320
<v Speaker 3>bathwater all for it? Me so horny.

0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:37.440
<v Speaker 2>He doeshing wrong with that.

0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:41.200
<v Speaker 4>You say what you want about a baby's bathwater, but

0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:43.800
<v Speaker 4>give me that goddamn grown ladies.

0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:48.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I'll get in it. I'll get after you, girl.

0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:52.880
<v Speaker 3>Tub What are we talking about? Why are you getting

0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.760
<v Speaker 3>in after I don't know it's like a weird sexual thing.

0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:59.800
<v Speaker 3>If it's like, you know when Charlottagne the God sniffed

0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:01.560
<v Speaker 3>Jennifer Lopez's seat.

0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:03.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, I'll never forget it.

0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.560
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely no shot her around the world. I remember that.

0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:14.919
<v Speaker 3>But it's like a similar thing.

0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:19.079
<v Speaker 2>Laying her dirt a little bites. We got an email

0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.320
<v Speaker 2>from a person named Chelsea. Chelsea sent us an email

0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.960
<v Speaker 2>with the subject line, my mama told me gas prices

0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:30.640
<v Speaker 2>and she says high Linkston and David loved the podcast.

0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.840
<v Speaker 2>My boyfriend and I recently moved from one suburb to

0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:38.360
<v Speaker 2>a slightly nicer suburb. Yesterday, he commented that gas was

0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.560
<v Speaker 2>much more expensive near our new house, twenty five to

0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:45.640
<v Speaker 2>fifty cents more, and reflexively said, yeah, gas is always

0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:48.520
<v Speaker 2>cheaper in the hood. Now, I don't know if this

0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:51.200
<v Speaker 2>is something my mama actually told me. I heard it

0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.000
<v Speaker 2>somewhere and have generally found it to be true, so

0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I just took it as fact. Is gas cheaper in

0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:00.320
<v Speaker 2>the hood? Is the question? Chelsea is asked game.

0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.960
<v Speaker 3>This is a tough question, because, like, I'm not gonna

0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.760
<v Speaker 3>sit here and lie to you guys. They popped me

0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.040
<v Speaker 3>for drunk driving in two thousand and nine. I have

0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:12.400
<v Speaker 3>not had a driver's license since. Wow, I don't know

0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.800
<v Speaker 3>how much the gas costs. People are always crying about it.

0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:18.760
<v Speaker 3>I don't. I don't fucking know.

0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:22.880
<v Speaker 2>Wait, they got you in two thousand and nine, and

0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:23.960
<v Speaker 2>you've never gone back.

0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:26.440
<v Speaker 3>I never they got me and they.

0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.279
<v Speaker 2>Is it because you can't go back? Or is it like, nah,

0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:31.719
<v Speaker 2>you got me, I'm retiring from the game type shit.

0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I didn't like driving anyways, to be completely honest.

0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Sure that's why you would get drunk before you do it.

0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:42.000
<v Speaker 3>You're like, yeah, yeah, it's the same way I felt

0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:47.840
<v Speaker 3>about high school tough interactions with friends.

0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:50.200
<v Speaker 2>I gotta take the edge off'n.

0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:52.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this is good. I gotta drive home.

0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.680
<v Speaker 2>No, I need to get at least a point on nine.

0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:56.320
<v Speaker 2>This ain't gonna yeah.

0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:57.920
<v Speaker 3>We'll say, we'll go with that. We'll go with point

0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.120
<v Speaker 3>on nine. Is what I got before you said. I

0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:02.760
<v Speaker 3>never drove again, So I know, I don't know. I

0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.040
<v Speaker 3>mean I thought that like stuff was supposed to be

0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:10.000
<v Speaker 3>like more expensive, like via food deserts. It would be

0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:13.880
<v Speaker 3>crazy if oil prices trickled down cheaper to black people.

0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:17.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you know what what makes if we're comparing

0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:19.440
<v Speaker 2>it to the food of it all. What would be

0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:22.880
<v Speaker 2>even crazier is if we do, in fact have cheaper

0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:27.159
<v Speaker 2>gas prices in the hood, but also it's like worse gas.

0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.640
<v Speaker 2>It's like just gas as bad for your car and

0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.719
<v Speaker 2>like makes your car's foot get cut off and shit,

0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:34.440
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean.

0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.400
<v Speaker 3>I could see them giving us diabetes gas.

0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.520
<v Speaker 2>That's yes, there's diabetes gas.

0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:42.400
<v Speaker 3>Like and then we find out it's like it's like

0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:45.240
<v Speaker 3>when you find out find out menthols are worse for.

0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:48.119
<v Speaker 2>You, right, It's like, oh, there's glass in these.

0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.320
<v Speaker 3>Why do you put glass in these? And why'd you

0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:53.640
<v Speaker 3>make them taste minty fresh? You know?

0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:54.960
<v Speaker 2>I like minty fresh.

0:05:55.160 --> 0:06:04.840
<v Speaker 3>You know my favorite color is green. Sprite Newports going.

0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:08.360
<v Speaker 3>I was up and there with four Sprite New Cools,

0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:09.800
<v Speaker 3>Benson and.

0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.839
<v Speaker 2>Head listening listening cigarettes at this point.

0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.000
<v Speaker 3>Paul Maul Greens Junior Mints.

0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:22.200
<v Speaker 2>Those are pretty much white with like a dash.

0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:27.040
<v Speaker 3>There's a lot of green on the box Nerd rope.

0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:30.960
<v Speaker 3>The candy Nerd rope has a lot of green. Mountain dew.

0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:31.920
<v Speaker 3>You love mountain dew.

0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:33.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't love mountain dew.

0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:37.560
<v Speaker 3>We so we've talked about.

0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Split.

0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:45.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad you overcame it, but it's like, just because

0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.359
<v Speaker 3>you're an ex crackhead doesn't mean you don't still like crack.

0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:52.839
<v Speaker 2>I'm not a dhead anymore.

0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.200
<v Speaker 3>I don't like the steps. No, I don't like you

0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:56.479
<v Speaker 3>dyeing your do roots.

0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:58.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be a do daddy no more.

0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:05.320
<v Speaker 3>But to speak, to speak to the gas thing, I don't.

0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.039
<v Speaker 3>I don't have you found that true? You drive right?

0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:11.200
<v Speaker 2>I do drive. I will say that's it's one of

0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:15.000
<v Speaker 2>those things where like, yeah, I guess technically it's true,

0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:19.400
<v Speaker 2>but it's not a thing that necessarily is like such

0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:23.080
<v Speaker 2>a massive difference that I feel like, oh, man, I

0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:26.720
<v Speaker 2>gotta drive our you know, fucking like twenty miles out

0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.239
<v Speaker 2>of my way to go benefit from those cheap gas

0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:30.200
<v Speaker 2>prices in the hood.

0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:33.400
<v Speaker 3>I also wonder about it because I won't speak to everyone.

0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:36.160
<v Speaker 3>But as far as for me and mind, I think

0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:39.920
<v Speaker 3>I filled up my entire gas tank maybe three times

0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:43.240
<v Speaker 3>in my whole driving career, So I don't know you're

0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.760
<v Speaker 3>one of those Oh don't be like, don't do that

0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:46.000
<v Speaker 3>to me.

0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.880
<v Speaker 2>Come on, man, I fill my shit up, but I'll

0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:55.120
<v Speaker 2>see always I take it to the edge, though, I'll take.

0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.960
<v Speaker 3>A run it around coffs. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:02.360
<v Speaker 3>where it's like when it's like when you're driving it,

0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.280
<v Speaker 3>you can feel like the gas going out. Yeah.

0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:07.400
<v Speaker 2>Me and my wife we've gotten in a fair amount

0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:10.720
<v Speaker 2>of arguments because she believes that, like after a quarter

0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:14.360
<v Speaker 2>is left, you're meant to fill it back up. That

0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.880
<v Speaker 2>like what that And that's one hundred percent my pointing.

0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.280
<v Speaker 2>You're a reasonable man, and that's why I enjoy doing

0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:20.880
<v Speaker 2>this with you.

0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:23.680
<v Speaker 3>A quarter is so much. A quarter is one fourth of.

0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:28.120
<v Speaker 2>It exactly that That's literally what I said, Like.

0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:30.800
<v Speaker 3>If it's one hundred miles, I'm going twenty five more miles.

0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:32.320
<v Speaker 3>It's not that's crazy.

0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:35.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I'm I'm going ninety nine more miles, is

0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.079
<v Speaker 2>my stance. But I hear you on the twenty five.

0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:42.679
<v Speaker 2>Twenty five is a crazy place to stop. Yeah, my

0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:49.360
<v Speaker 2>cell phone battery. The thing is she believes this, but

0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.280
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't even like live by the shit, you know

0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:53.880
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. It's like one of those things where

0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:58.119
<v Speaker 2>like she implemented that for me on some like husbandly

0:08:58.240 --> 0:08:59.280
<v Speaker 2>duties type shit.

0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:02.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh, like you gotta ride around, you got to fill

0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.199
<v Speaker 3>it up when it gets to a quarter. But if

0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.000
<v Speaker 3>she's riding on me. It's not a problem.

0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:10.199
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's an emergency. I had to get home really fast. Sorry.

0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.839
<v Speaker 2>You know, uh, you ain't got nothing to do. Go ahead,

0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:15.000
<v Speaker 2>fill up the gas tank.

0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.240
<v Speaker 3>Do you do it? Though? Yeah?

0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean, what am I gonna do? Stop getting pussy?

0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:24.160
<v Speaker 3>Here? I am? You know, that's the strangest way I've

0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:30.280
<v Speaker 3>ever heard someone contextualized marriage. What am I gonna do? Stop?

0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:34.240
<v Speaker 3>What am I gonna do? Stop getting She's my wife.

0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:39.319
<v Speaker 2>She's my everything? What I give up all that pussy?

0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:40.160
<v Speaker 3>No?

0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:42.280
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, I'll fill up the gas tang when you.

0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:52.440
<v Speaker 3>Say I don't know why it would be cheaper in

0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:54.920
<v Speaker 3>the hood, though, what? Well?

0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I think I think it led me to sort of

0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.439
<v Speaker 2>look this up right in one of the things, or

0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:03.320
<v Speaker 2>at least I attempted to look up. And it gets

0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:06.720
<v Speaker 2>pretty ugly because when you look up why is gas

0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.040
<v Speaker 2>cheaper in the hood. The first thing that popped up

0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:12.839
<v Speaker 2>was a Reddit thread where it says.

0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:15.880
<v Speaker 4>If they said something about Jewish people, yeah, I wish

0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.000
<v Speaker 4>it actually is. It's almost more painful because somebody says,

0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:24.160
<v Speaker 4>why is gas usually cheaper in the ghetto, which already

0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:28.240
<v Speaker 4>you know is coming from a hateful place.

0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.080
<v Speaker 3>I understand from a bad place.

0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:33.800
<v Speaker 4>Nobody in twenty twenty two is calling the hood the

0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:37.480
<v Speaker 4>ghetto and not like having bad wishes for the.

0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:38.400
<v Speaker 2>People that live there.

0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.400
<v Speaker 3>No, she doesn't come in peace, No, not at all.

0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.800
<v Speaker 2>And the answer, I think felt more painful to me

0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:48.240
<v Speaker 2>somehow because I'm not even sure. I don't know how

0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.720
<v Speaker 2>to respond to it. But the one answer that's here says,

0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:55.400
<v Speaker 2>less people own cars in the ghetto, therefore the demand

0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:59.360
<v Speaker 2>for gas is less. Price goes down to comply.

0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.920
<v Speaker 3>No, that's not black people have cars.

0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:07.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that thing like they really think we just like

0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.000
<v Speaker 4>black people just don't have We get.

0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.440
<v Speaker 3>We have the things that they have. You know what,

0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:16.280
<v Speaker 3>I thought it was gonna say, because they're big Cadillac,

0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:19.360
<v Speaker 3>their big Cadillac lips to guzzle up all the gas,

0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.800
<v Speaker 3>we gotta make it scarce sort shit. I thought it

0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:24.520
<v Speaker 3>was going to be something about the size.

0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:33.800
<v Speaker 4>Of the vehicles, a big old Lincoln Navigator, monkeys. It's

0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:36.080
<v Speaker 4>it didn't feel good, And I don't know that there's

0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:39.240
<v Speaker 4>a definitive answer for this thing, but I do think,

0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:42.640
<v Speaker 4>just based off of my own sort of like not

0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:47.080
<v Speaker 4>careful but sometimes effective analysis, it does seem like the

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.760
<v Speaker 4>gas is a little cheaper, but that also seems like,

0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:54.040
<v Speaker 4>you know, it's the reason they sell fucking Arizona iced

0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:58.400
<v Speaker 4>tea's in you know, fucking corner stores and shit. It's like, yeah,

0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:01.360
<v Speaker 4>that's where motherfuckers can buy it, and they're they're get

0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.760
<v Speaker 4>the most sale that way. So you make it affordable

0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 4>enough that you can activate the sales.

0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:13.679
<v Speaker 3>Right, because that is the thing is like, man, if

0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:15.520
<v Speaker 3>we're just and once again, I don't want to blank

0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:18.160
<v Speaker 3>it any but everybody we're just talking about, like me

0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:22.800
<v Speaker 3>and me and mine, I come from people who will

0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:24.840
<v Speaker 3>buy this little bit.

0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.280
<v Speaker 2>Of gas possible exactly.

0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:32.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Like I'll put one eighty eight on two and

0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:37.240
<v Speaker 3>then maybe maybe maybe get twelve out of the take

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:39.440
<v Speaker 3>a penny, leave a penny, and just go on and

0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:40.839
<v Speaker 3>bump it up and make it two on two.

0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:44.040
<v Speaker 2>Like, well, so you're getting a third of a gallon

0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.280
<v Speaker 2>of gas to be able to like keep moving at

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 2>this point.

0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.440
<v Speaker 3>I mean, but this is an a nine prices.

0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 4>Okay, So you are getting twelve gallons of gas for

0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 4>two dollars. You were filling up your tank on two

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:00.960
<v Speaker 4>dollars and moving on.

0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:04.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm willing. I'm willing, Like I said, I I was

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.199
<v Speaker 3>not a big fill up the whole tank, because fill

0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:10.840
<v Speaker 3>up the tank. What am I'm driving to fucking Detroit?

0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:15.640
<v Speaker 3>I gotta fill up this tank. That's insane to me.

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:17.480
<v Speaker 2>How far do you think you can get on a

0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:18.640
<v Speaker 2>full tank of gas?

0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.240
<v Speaker 3>Man, don't make me? Uh? Where are you at? What

0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 3>do you think?

0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.079
<v Speaker 2>How far in the country do you think you can get?

0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:27.680
<v Speaker 2>You're in You're in Denver. Where do you think you

0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:28.199
<v Speaker 2>can reach?

0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.040
<v Speaker 3>What kind of car am I in?

0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 2>Let's say it's it's a Honda Civic. It gets good miles,

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:38.920
<v Speaker 2>let's go that way. This is a factory made, no fast,

0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:43.360
<v Speaker 2>no furious. A full tank of gas, I would assume.

0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:49.439
<v Speaker 2>From Denver, Colorado, I feel like I could get halfway

0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:53.280
<v Speaker 2>through Wyoming. Okay, See that required me to know American

0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.880
<v Speaker 2>geography better than I do. But that sounds wrong. Wyoming

0:13:56.920 --> 0:14:01.160
<v Speaker 2>is a pretty big state. It's a pretty fun from

0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Wyoming here though, you're two hours from Wyoming.

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, to like the because that's to get fireworks.

0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:09.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And then and then you think you can go

0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:14.080
<v Speaker 2>another half a state of driving before that tank runs out?

0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.640
<v Speaker 3>Is that not how many? Is that not correct?

0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't think so. I think a Honda is getting

0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:21.880
<v Speaker 2>like three hundred miles per gallon and or.

0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 3>Per that that that can't per tank, not gallon, Honda.

0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.520
<v Speaker 2>So I don't think you're getting as far as you've imagined.

0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.600
<v Speaker 3>I think you're playing me out because I told you

0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:35.880
<v Speaker 3>that I haven't driven in, you know, over a decade.

0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:39.640
<v Speaker 4>Now, I presume you still know where the gas pedal

0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:40.720
<v Speaker 4>and the break are.

0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.720
<v Speaker 3>I could drive like I'm not like like if it

0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 3>went down today, I can get in. I can drive

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.200
<v Speaker 3>a stick. Most people can't do that.

0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I can't drive a stick.

0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:55.160
<v Speaker 3>Exactly what is it? What are you proving? I got

0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 3>lost in the sauce? Twelve point four gallons? So how many?

0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:02.320
<v Speaker 3>How many gallons? How many miles per gallon? You think? Uh?

0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:04.920
<v Speaker 2>On some like highway shit.

0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.280
<v Speaker 4>I think you'll probably get like with the Honda Civic,

0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:08.760
<v Speaker 4>like twenty eight to thirty.

0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:13.120
<v Speaker 3>Okay, hold on, so let's let's do this math here.

0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 2>I'll make it easy for you. It's thirty times ten

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.480
<v Speaker 2>plus sixty, so it's it's about three sixty.

0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.640
<v Speaker 3>Is that new math? Okaye?

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:23.840
<v Speaker 1>Eight?

0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:34.760
<v Speaker 3>And then how long is wyoming to sound?

0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:37.880
<v Speaker 2>I love that we can hear how you type in

0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:38.520
<v Speaker 2>real time.

0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.960
<v Speaker 3>I hate that I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't

0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:43.360
<v Speaker 3>have said any. I feel like you guys would have

0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:47.200
<v Speaker 3>thought I was a hacker. Yo, Wyoming's only three hundred

0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:49.760
<v Speaker 3>and sixty miles long and two hundred eighty miles wide.

0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.200
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I mean, I still think your numbers are a

0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:56.400
<v Speaker 4>little off of maybe maybe maybe it's mag dab in

0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.920
<v Speaker 4>the middle with your gas tank.

0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:03.200
<v Speaker 3>What's like three sixty eight so one eighty plus two

0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:05.800
<v Speaker 3>hours to get out of Denver. So we figure I'm

0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.920
<v Speaker 3>going sixty miles an hour one hundred and twenty miles,

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:12.360
<v Speaker 3>so one twenty plus one eighty that's like three hundred

0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:16.240
<v Speaker 3>that's like exactly right. I was exactly right. I was

0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:17.240
<v Speaker 3>exactly right.

0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that I'm buying it, but maybe play

0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:21.120
<v Speaker 2>with me.

0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:28.000
<v Speaker 3>Any listeners who check my math email, don't tweet I don't.

0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:30.400
<v Speaker 4>Have one, don't tweet at him. He doesn't have one.

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.720
<v Speaker 4>In frankly, I'm not reporting the tweets you sent.

0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.440
<v Speaker 3>So I think I got it, bro I think I

0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:37.960
<v Speaker 3>got it. Listeners, tell me if I didn't get it

0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 3>from Denver, Colorado to the middle of Wyoming on one tank,

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.400
<v Speaker 3>and let's be honest, A two thousand and one to

0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:49.840
<v Speaker 3>two thousand and six Honda Civic. I think I think

0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:51.360
<v Speaker 3>I was perfect. Wow.

0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:56.200
<v Speaker 2>If true, I'm devastated, and I will I will spend

0:16:56.640 --> 0:17:01.240
<v Speaker 2>our next mini episode submitting a formal apology you and

0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:09.720
<v Speaker 2>everyone involved. Well until then, I think we covered this, Chelsea.

0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:10.120
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.959
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that we have a clear, definitive answer

0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.160
<v Speaker 2>on your thing, but it seems likely. It seems likely

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.600
<v Speaker 2>that the ghetto has the ghetto has a little less

0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:23.800
<v Speaker 2>expensive gas than their suburban counterpart.

0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:24.400
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.479
<v Speaker 2>She also, uh, this will be this can be our

0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 2>big dismount. She also said, unrelated, I am also mixed

0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.040
<v Speaker 2>black mom and white dad, and I completely agree with

0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.159
<v Speaker 2>your white mom theory. For those of you that don't remember,

0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:40.040
<v Speaker 2>I believe that mixed kids with white moms end up

0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.119
<v Speaker 2>weird as fuck, and uh, mixed kids with black moms

0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:46.440
<v Speaker 2>are pretty cool anyway. White mom syndrome is what I

0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:49.280
<v Speaker 2>call it. I grew up in central Illinois, where there

0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:51.600
<v Speaker 2>were not many black people and even fewer mixed people.

0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.560
<v Speaker 2>There were four of us in town. We called ourselves

0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.160
<v Speaker 2>a biracial coalition. Don't love that, Chelse.

0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:57.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's not a good.

0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:00.719
<v Speaker 2>Chelsea like that at all.

0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.760
<v Speaker 3>Not a lot of sauce on that meat. No, not

0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:04.160
<v Speaker 3>at all.

0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:07.159
<v Speaker 2>She said, two had black moms and two had white moms.

0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.919
<v Speaker 2>The ones with white moms were weird as hell and

0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:13.000
<v Speaker 2>seemed to struggle with their identity at less, at least

0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:16.000
<v Speaker 2>more than I did. My mama showed me imitation of

0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:19.040
<v Speaker 2>life when I was six years old and said things like, see,

0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:21.640
<v Speaker 2>that's why you should never try to pass anyway. Thanks

0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:23.600
<v Speaker 2>for all the last by bitch, Chelsea.

0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.040
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Chelsea. I think that that and not and

0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.240
<v Speaker 3>this sounds crazy, I think a lot of that probably

0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:30.680
<v Speaker 3>comes down to grooming.

0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:35.159
<v Speaker 2>Mmm, like like literal physical grooming.

0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.639
<v Speaker 3>Hair and stuff like that. I think that it's I

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.119
<v Speaker 3>think that with a white mother it would be harder

0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:43.560
<v Speaker 3>to figure out you. Like, I mean not as much

0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:45.520
<v Speaker 3>for boys, because you could just get a barber cut,

0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:47.880
<v Speaker 3>but like if you're she doesn't know how to relax hair,

0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:50.919
<v Speaker 3>she doesn't know you know what I mean that, Yeah,

0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 3>I feel like that would be very and that that

0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:56.040
<v Speaker 3>is a thing that could keep you on the outside.

0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:18:56.720 --> 0:19:00.119
<v Speaker 2>No, if you have an awkward morning every morning with

0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:02.760
<v Speaker 2>your mom and your hair, you're gonna be a little

0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:05.080
<v Speaker 2>bit of a weirdo when you get to school.

0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 3>That day, you know, right, exactly exactly, and your dad's

0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:09.320
<v Speaker 3>not going to know how to do it either.

0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:14.439
<v Speaker 2>No, he's sitting there smoking menthos right, No wonder why

0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:15.359
<v Speaker 2>they taste so good.

0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:18.200
<v Speaker 3>Now, if you grew up with a bunch of black

0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:21.439
<v Speaker 3>women like I did, I can relax all your hair, ladies.

0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 2>Hey, and he'll get in that bathtub when you're down

0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:25.959
<v Speaker 2>to Hey.

0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:29.439
<v Speaker 3>Come on, all right, we did it.

0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:31.240
<v Speaker 2>Could you tell the people at home where they can

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:33.160
<v Speaker 2>find you what cool shit you have going on?

0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.879
<v Speaker 3>You can find me a cool guy jokes eighty seven

0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.320
<v Speaker 3>on Instagram. Come see me at the Illegion in Los

0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:44.080
<v Speaker 3>Angeles on September fifteenth. Then come see Langston Kerman in

0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:48.919
<v Speaker 3>Denver for Faded Comedy Denver at the Skylark Lounge in Denver, Colorado,

0:19:49.160 --> 0:19:52.080
<v Speaker 3>bringing you the best black and around brown headliners from

0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:56.159
<v Speaker 3>around the country and locally. Hell, we do. I do

0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:57.760
<v Speaker 3>host it with the white guy because we had the

0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:02.159
<v Speaker 3>trojan or it is Colora. But trust me, he doesn't

0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:03.840
<v Speaker 3>get to talk much. Great.

0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:06.720
<v Speaker 2>I love as long as he's pretty much silent. I'm

0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:09.520
<v Speaker 2>cool with this as always. You can follow me at

0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Langston Kerman and you can come see me if you're

0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:15.520
<v Speaker 2>in Los Angeles competing on that same day, nine to fifteen,

0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:18.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll be at the Lyric Hyperion doing my hour. Go

0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:21.359
<v Speaker 2>see David, go see me. You make the choice. Oh

0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:24.480
<v Speaker 2>remember you've burned a bridge. If you choose the wrong one,

0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:29.359
<v Speaker 2>light skin politics man, then come see me at Faded

0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:32.760
<v Speaker 2>the next day in Denver. Travel you deserve it. And

0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:35.560
<v Speaker 2>then finally, if you're in New York, I'll be at

0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:40.320
<v Speaker 2>City Winery the Loft on September nineteenth. I would love

0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:41.960
<v Speaker 2>to see you out in New York. So I got

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:44.080
<v Speaker 2>some shows coming up. And as always, if you want

0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:46.800
<v Speaker 2>to send us your own conspiracy theories, your own drops,

0:20:46.960 --> 0:20:49.639
<v Speaker 2>your own bullshit about gas prices, send it to my

0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:52.879
<v Speaker 2>mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to

0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:56.560
<v Speaker 2>hear from you. Okay, that's it. Bye, bitch.

0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Fucking mini ever se mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever sew

0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:17.240
<v Speaker 1>motherfucking mini episode Mini episode, mother fucking Mini ever s