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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's come up with a hot

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Speaker 1: new toy for your uncoordinated child, the self rotating hula hoop.

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Speaker 2: I don't have to know how to do it anymore.

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Speaker 1: All your kid has to do is just stand there,

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Speaker 1: push the button, and let.

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Speaker 3: The hoop do all the work. Should be cool.

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Speaker 1: Hours and hours of motionless fun with Laser Stories, the

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Speaker 1: segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

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Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

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Speaker 1: Those other pelvic pansies just don't. This first laser story

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Speaker 1: is out of Stafford, Virginia. There was an open house

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Speaker 1: last Sunday for a home for sale about forty miles

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Speaker 1: south of DC. One of the people who toured the

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Speaker 1: home was thirty nine year old Napoleon boatche Oh.

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Speaker 2: That is such a fency.

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Speaker 1: He apparently talked to the seller about how much he

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Speaker 1: liked the place and thought it would be great for

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Speaker 1: him and his four kids. That's nice, and we know

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Speaker 1: he was actually serious because after the conversation he pulled

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Speaker 1: his minivan into the driveway and moved right on.

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Speaker 2: In as you can get home too.

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Speaker 1: He didn't make an offer or anything. He just got

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Speaker 1: his kids inside and then refused to leave.

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Speaker 2: I'll take it. This is the squatters situation. It's like

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Speaker 2: a nightmare.

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Speaker 1: The police got there quickly and ordered him to come out,

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Speaker 1: but he just stared at them through a window, so

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Speaker 1: they went inside and arrested. It is like thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: they can get him outain. Yet it turned out he

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Speaker 1: was on probation and had warrants out in two neighboring counties.

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Speaker 2: There you go.

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Speaker 1: He's facing a long list of charges, including entering a

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Speaker 1: property with intent to cause damage.

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Speaker 3: Because that's what happens when you bring children into a

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Speaker 3: house that.

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Speaker 2: Actually checks out immediately.

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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, guaranteed there were stains on the carpet

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Speaker 4: and they left.

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Speaker 2: This is how it works.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you're not allowed to own anything nice after

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Speaker 4: you have children.

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Speaker 1: As for the kids, protective services took them in and

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Speaker 1: officials said they'd be releasing them to a responsible family member.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 3: It's next Laser stories out of the Far East.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever been watching a political debate and thought, man,

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Speaker 1: I wish they'd just get naked every time.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I guess that's just you and Josey.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel the way jose and I do you

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Speaker 1: might want to move to Japan, because that's exactly what

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Speaker 1: one politician did during her televised campaign speech.

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Speaker 2: It has to be like a protest or something.

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Speaker 3: She's running for office.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Uchino Ari, and she was addressing the

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Speaker 1: nation ahead of Tokyo's gubernatorial election when she started undressing

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Speaker 1: during the broadcast.

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Speaker 4: She made it a show's just so hot in here.

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Speaker 1: Unlike our country's leaders, Uchino is not an elderly man.

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Speaker 1: She is a vibrant young woman who is venturing into

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Speaker 1: politics for the very first.

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Speaker 3: Time, ready to show the world her gifts. Can you

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Speaker 3: imagine one of our candidates trying to be roll? They

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Speaker 3: just can't even kick off.

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Speaker 2: The song, like no, they just got belcro shoes off.

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Speaker 3: I'm here to watch it.

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Speaker 1: In fact, a recent viral video showed her unbuttoning her

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Speaker 1: blouse while speaking, then taking it completely off.

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Speaker 3: Off but to many of.

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Speaker 1: The senator's disappointment, she was wearing a nude colored tube

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Speaker 1: top under.

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Speaker 2: So she didn't want to get arrested for it. She

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Speaker 2: just wanted to make it yeah, make it seems yeah.

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Speaker 3: But she's good at politics. Typical liar, right there, vote

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Speaker 3: that's right.

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Speaker 1: So she then asked the viewers that if they think

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Speaker 1: she's sexy, they should go vote for her and also

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Speaker 1: add her on social media.

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Speaker 2: Okay, should she just run?

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Speaker 1: In America Island, Uccino is running under the Watch my

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Speaker 1: Cute political Speech Broadcast party.

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Speaker 2: I love that party.

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Speaker 1: Many are accusing her of not taking the job seriously

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Speaker 1: and using politics as a platform just to gain social

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Speaker 1: media fame.

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Speaker 2: They accuse her of nobody does there.

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Speaker 1: Your video has been viewed over eighteen million times, so

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Speaker 1: it's actually working. I'm going to become a Japanese citizen

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Speaker 1: just so I can vote.

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Speaker 3: Let me come over in visit.

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Speaker 1: I want to thank you. This next laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of fashion headquarters. I know concert tickets are pretty expensive.

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Speaker 2: Gos you crazy?

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Speaker 1: So how about paying ten times more just to pretend

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Speaker 1: that you went. I say that because the high end

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Speaker 1: fashion brand Balenciaga is selling a fake festival wristband for

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Speaker 1: the lowlo price of thirty eight hundred dollars.

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Speaker 4: Do they accidentally put it on too tight so it

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Speaker 4: bothers you the entire festival?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called the favor Used Bracelets.

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Speaker 3: Brook. How would you describe it? You're looking at the

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Speaker 3: picture of it right now.

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Speaker 4: It looks like one of those Nylon festival bracelets, and

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Speaker 4: it has writing around it that I'm guessing says Balenciaga.

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Speaker 2: But it looks like in a graffiti style writing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard to read because it's made to look

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Speaker 1: worn and tattered, like you just went to an event

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Speaker 1: years ago and never took it off. It's still okay,

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Speaker 1: but it is adjustable, so you can ditch it whenever

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Speaker 1: you want.

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Speaker 2: And pass it to somebody else so they can also.

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Speaker 4: Get into the imaginary festival.

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Speaker 1: Balenciaga claims it requires a full day's work to make

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Speaker 1: each one.

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Speaker 3: I bet that's why it's so expensive.

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Speaker 1: They can stitch the company's name onto it, so that

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Speaker 1: takes a lot of time, and making it look distressed

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Speaker 1: probably factors into the price too.

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Speaker 4: Right, I just imagine one person from that Balenciaga place

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Speaker 4: rolling around in a field with it on, like.

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Speaker 3: Well, if that's not your style.

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Speaker 1: There's also a non distressed version that costs even more

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Speaker 1: at four thousand, nine hundred dollars.

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Speaker 3: Oh my good, my gosh.

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Speaker 2: It's like you got your band but never made it

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Speaker 2: to the festival.

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Speaker 1: So if you're looking for a dumb way to blow

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Speaker 1: five grand. There you go for reference tickets to Coachella

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Speaker 1: next year start at five hundred and forty nine dollars.

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Speaker 3: So now that sounds like a huge bargain.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that covers your flight, your hotel. This next Lazer

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Speaker 1: Stories out of Entertainment Central. You know who wants in

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Speaker 1: on the reality TV show Resurgence. It's none other than

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Speaker 1: the TV network Hallmark.

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Speaker 3: There's now a done that before, not.

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Speaker 1: Yet, but there is a brand new reality series to

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Speaker 1: find the next Hallmark Holiday movie star.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Jeffrey.

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Speaker 3: It's called Finding Mister Christmas. Oh, this is like finding

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Speaker 3: the Golden Bachelor. It works like this.

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Speaker 1: Ten men will compete in a series of challenges to

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Speaker 1: test their acting skills and Christmas spirit.

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Speaker 4: So they're gonna have to like make sugar cookies and

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Speaker 4: also have bad acting on screen because there's no good acting.

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Speaker 1: Actually, sugar cookie baking eaves is one of the tests

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Speaker 1: that will be included, along with Christmas tree tossing and

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Speaker 1: something called a stranger missiletoe surprise.

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Speaker 4: When does he have to catch a falling girl because

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Speaker 4: that always happens?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the Ice Road Challenge Run Down the Street. Jonathan

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Speaker 3: Bennett is going to be the host of it.

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Speaker 1: He's been in Hallmark movies, but you probably know him

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Speaker 1: better as Aaron Samuels from the movie Mean Girls.

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Speaker 3: From the original meeting.

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Speaker 1: The winner will earn the title of Mister Christmas, and

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Speaker 1: the film will premiere later this year on the Hallmark Channel.

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Speaker 1: During the countdown to Christmas. I know one guy who's

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Speaker 1: interested in just threw his shell into the ring and

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Speaker 1: he already has his movie title picked out.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be a moist, green Christas.

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Speaker 2: I don't mind the word, but that's so.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna watch.

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Speaker 1: That's how Means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again, same time on

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Speaker 1: Wednesday

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.