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Speaker 1: Oh, did I fucking fuck up the snacks? So for sports,

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Speaker 1: like my daughter has lacrosse and they email you and

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Speaker 1: they ask, like if someone wants to be like snack

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Speaker 1: mom or team mom, and like that's the correspondence mom.

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Speaker 1: And I wanted to be like in the snack rotation,

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Speaker 1: and I don't think I can own snacks. Snacks is

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Speaker 1: probably something that many people want, but I got my

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Speaker 1: fucking shot at snacks and I choked. And the reason

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Speaker 1: I choked is that, like I've seen that they eat

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Speaker 1: pizza or donuts and they've just done sports, and I thought,

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Speaker 1: after sports, you'd want a Gatorade. Like I thought that

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Speaker 1: was a lead. A gatory could be like two three

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Speaker 1: dollars or you know, and just thirty kids. So I

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Speaker 1: was gonna bring thirty Gatorades and a cond bar because

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Speaker 1: I thought, you've just worked out, you has a donuts

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Speaker 1: good and I know that's what a kid's gonna want.

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Speaker 1: But like, I just got the combo between kind bars

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Speaker 1: and gatorade would would endear me to the parents and

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Speaker 1: be fine with the kids. So a couple of things happen.

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Speaker 1: You got to know when to walk over you're on

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Speaker 1: a la crossfield which is gigantic, like it's like a

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Speaker 1: football field, and you don't want to be like the

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Speaker 1: dork mom. It's like carrying all the snacks going across

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Speaker 1: the field, and I already am like a no, I'm

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Speaker 1: already a known person, and my daughter's friends are kind

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Speaker 1: of fans and they know that. So I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be the dork mom walking across, but there's sort

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Speaker 1: of no other way to do it, and I just don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not incognito. And so I got to the game

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Speaker 1: a little late last time, and Brinn didn't want the

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Speaker 1: snack at the beginning anyway, because they're getting ready to play,

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Speaker 1: so it's like you're playing double Dutch trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out when to come in. So I walked across and

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Speaker 1: brought them over there midway through, but like I didn't

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Speaker 1: have it in a nice, cooler field with ice. It

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Speaker 1: was just gatorades that were cold. I had had them

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Speaker 1: in the freezer I prepared all day and they were

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Speaker 1: then in this big like cooler zip you know, toe bag.

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Speaker 1: But those kids are kind of intimidating by me and

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Speaker 1: I at the end of the game, I was standing

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Speaker 1: there and I was like, do you want to and

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Speaker 1: I was embarrassing her. I'm sure I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: sell my Gatorades and coind bars and I got fucking caught,

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Speaker 1: and only and the first person took once I got excited,

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Speaker 1: only three people took the Gatorades, and like nobody took

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Speaker 1: a kind bar. But everybody was kind of dispersed already.

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Speaker 1: So at the end of the game, like you need

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Speaker 1: something that's going to attract them. It's not like the

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Speaker 1: middle of the game where they're sort of just hydrating

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Speaker 1: and bored and just taking something or it's on each

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Speaker 1: of their chairs. It's something people have to walk over

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Speaker 1: to fight each other for and like grab out of

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Speaker 1: a bag. And it's like a psychology of things that

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Speaker 1: are intimidating. And it happens at a Super Bowl buffet,

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Speaker 1: or it happens at a barbecue. Like if you give

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Speaker 1: people a certain food and it's the only thing they

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Speaker 1: get and they're just standing there, they'll eat it. But

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Speaker 1: if you're competing with other snacks, they're not going to

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Speaker 1: go for your thing. So I choked. So I was

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Speaker 1: talking to my assistant and she was like, you should

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Speaker 1: you know we were in high school. They brought Clementines.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I'll be canceled if I

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Speaker 1: bring clemen. First of all, they're touching dirty lacrosse sticks,

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Speaker 1: and then they're gonna fucking touch the skins and like

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Speaker 1: touch put it in their mouth. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't like that touch, touch the fruit itself, put in

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Speaker 1: their mouth. I don't like the Clementine vibe. And I

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Speaker 1: guess the kind bar is that too. Everything you're gonna

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Speaker 1: touch with your hands. So I guess now I gotta

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Speaker 1: give them hand sanitizer and then they're gonna touch it.

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Speaker 1: So then she suggested chicken nuggets. That's like so cool,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, well, yeah, I love chicken nuggets, and

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Speaker 1: so well they but what are we doing, Like, I'm

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Speaker 1: they're gonna be cold chicken nuggets. I'm not gonna be

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Speaker 1: out of like Schaefer trays to or like a fucking

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Speaker 1: air fryer on the side. So I was wanted to

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Speaker 1: be like cool snack mom, and I choked. So what

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Speaker 1: I decided, And I don't want any other moms to

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Speaker 1: copy me on this, And I know this will be

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Speaker 1: a fail because I think I'm changing my mind as

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Speaker 1: I'm saying it. I went to Cinnabon and I saw

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Speaker 1: they have individual little mini cinnabuns, like you're pulling them apart.

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Speaker 1: And that also feels like gross, like they're gonna have

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Speaker 1: dirty lacrosse hands touching those. So now as I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to you about it, I think, like a bake by Melissa,

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Speaker 1: it's at least dryer. It's like not a sticky like

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Speaker 1: mix with dirt, and those are small or like treat

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Speaker 1: it's individual rice Krispy Tree, it's mini cupcakes. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think I might do cinnamon be cinnamon because it's

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Speaker 1: from you know, Cinnabon, and those are so popular and

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Speaker 1: everyone always loves them and that's so unique and different,

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Speaker 1: and they make mini ones. So I'll get back to you.

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Speaker 1: It's important that I get back to you and let

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Speaker 1: you know. And I'm a fucking around with drinks. They

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Speaker 1: could drink water, and I should get them many little

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Speaker 1: cheap o waters that they have at the drug store

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Speaker 1: because the big gatorad you know, it's a lot of

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Speaker 1: waste too. It's not being green. I just feel like

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of things I have to think through.

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Speaker 1: I actually think a juice box, but then are they

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Speaker 1: gonna think it's too babyish and they're like above juice

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Speaker 1: boxes because they're very hydrating and they're functional. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I gotta go back and it's tomorrow, so I gotta

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Speaker 1: get organized about my snacking. Oh well, I'm not even

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Speaker 1: snack mom tomorrow, but I want to, like I want

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Speaker 1: to make up for my bad snack thing and be

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Speaker 1: like cool snacks. And my assistant was like, no, you're

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Speaker 1: not snack mom tomorrow. So now I'm gonna be the

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Speaker 1: one like showing up the other mom. And that's okay

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Speaker 1: because I fucked up last time and I don't want

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Speaker 1: anyone to know. I don't want anyone to copy me,

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Speaker 1: So let me know what you guys think. Because I

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Speaker 1: thought come bars were dry and that was positive, like

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Speaker 1: not bad dry, but like not sticky, like not chocolate

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Speaker 1: all over your uniforms. So that's why cinnabuns are a

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Speaker 1: little flawed. But like Treathouse is only one place in

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Speaker 1: a city, and then I'm causing a problem, like I

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Speaker 1: just want to get something it's easy and accessible, so

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Speaker 1: it's like supermarket individual cupcakes. Mini donuts seem like a

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Speaker 1: good idea too, you know how they like the but

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Speaker 1: then the powders everywhere and the chocolate's everywhere, Like what

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Speaker 1: the fuck am I gonna do? And would you show

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Speaker 1: up the other moms? Like what would you do? There's

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Speaker 1: not a group of moms. I'm just saying, like I

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Speaker 1: want to redeem myself. And I guess cold pizza is

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Speaker 1: good too, Like what do I do? What's the one

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Speaker 1: thing I could do to be different and unique that

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to do to just like redeem myself and

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Speaker 1: be cool snack mom? And they'll be like, oh my god, yay,

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Speaker 1: Brin's mom brought like I just want to do that

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Speaker 1: sports thing. They went from being little babies in a

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Speaker 1: carriage to being like real athletes and like I thought

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Speaker 1: if my daughter didn't play a lot, like that's the

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Speaker 1: kind of thing. They're at the age where you could

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Speaker 1: say sending to the coach like yeah, like can she

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Speaker 1: play more? Like this is not where we are. We're

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Speaker 1: at like competitive level sports. Some of the kids on

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Speaker 1: her team for volleyball and basketball on lacrosse, they're not

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Speaker 1: fucking around. They're like gazelles running down the field checking

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Speaker 1: people like they're not they're serious athletes. So the game

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Speaker 1: started catching up with me really quickly, no pun intended,

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Speaker 1: where like I just didn't know that I had to

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Speaker 1: have like extra credit sports. We're trying to do a

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Speaker 1: tutor sometimes for school to keep up with that, but

145
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Speaker 1: now we need like a sports tutor. And it can't

146
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Speaker 1: just be like someone to come over with her and

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Speaker 1: fuck around once in a while. It needs to be

148
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Speaker 1: a league and camps. Because her friends are all in

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Speaker 1: competitive leagues when they're not playing at school, so they're

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Speaker 1: playing soccer, but they're playing soccer after school, and they're

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Speaker 1: playing in a league after school, and they all are

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Speaker 1: playing together, So like Britna doesn't look as close to

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Speaker 1: the school as everybody else, so she's not caught up,

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Speaker 1: and I just felt One day I had a breakdown.

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Speaker 1: I was going to Florida for U for a trip,

156
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Speaker 1: and she went to go to this after school sort

157
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Speaker 1: of half bullshit volleyball thing. But I thought I was good,

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Speaker 1: like I was doing extra credit getting her in a

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Speaker 1: volleyball thing, but it's like not at the level. I

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Speaker 1: now realized that I had her in spoiled volleyball, not intentionally.

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Speaker 1: It was just like a normal place, but like it

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Speaker 1: wasn't competitive fucking cutthroat volleyball. So she went over one

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Speaker 1: day and the other kids didn't show up on that day,

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Speaker 1: and she was crying because it was like an hour

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Speaker 1: away because she was committed, and she's sometimes doing this

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Speaker 1: till nine o'clock at night. She doesn't get home till

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Speaker 1: ten o'clock at night, my twelve year old. So that

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Speaker 1: night she was crying. She was like, now I missed.

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Speaker 1: It was a nice day and I didn't get it,

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Speaker 1: and everyone's ahead of me, and she was having anxiety

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Speaker 1: because she's middle of the pack good, she's not the

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Speaker 1: best and she's not the worst, but like other people

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Speaker 1: are fucking on the case. So now I was gasping

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Speaker 1: for air because we were behind, and I just didn't

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Speaker 1: have it organized, like I didn't know it needed to

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Speaker 1: be organized, like my business. So one night I got organized.

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Speaker 1: My assistant. We were both like crying. My assistant was crying.

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Speaker 1: I was crying. We felt like we were behind because

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Speaker 1: we're in so sweet and we don't want her to

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Speaker 1: feel bad and behind, and she's so nice and she's

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Speaker 1: willing to do anything and she'll work hard and she

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Speaker 1: doesn't care. But we weren't organized. We weren't treating it

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Speaker 1: like a business. So I was more concerned with that

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Speaker 1: than the appearance I was doing. And I got very

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Speaker 1: fucking tight and right, and now I can't even breathe.

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Speaker 1: Now she's like, now we're on the case. And what

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Speaker 1: happens is during that sport, they're focused on that sport.

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Speaker 1: So we were in basketball season and she realized that

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Speaker 1: she wasn't good and she was freaking out, and she

190
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Speaker 1: was like, I'm not good and I felt bad, and

191
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Speaker 1: I found a place, and I found a place that

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Speaker 1: weekend in Boston where she could at least go play

193
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Speaker 1: with like older kids. But that's not her main sport

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Speaker 1: that she cares about. So during basketball, all she was

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Speaker 1: thinking about was basketball, but she wasn't playing ahead and

196
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Speaker 1: thinking about what was gonna happen in the spring for lacrosse.

197
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Speaker 1: So then she started lacrosse, and she's doing lacrosse, but

198
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Speaker 1: like off season, people are still playing lacrosse, so and

199
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Speaker 1: next year they'll be ahead of where she is. But

200
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Speaker 1: it moves fast because now we're into volleyball and so

201
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Speaker 1: it's very hard to know how to like be good

202
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Speaker 1: at all of it. So she doesn't feel left out.

203
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Speaker 1: And I think the answer is like you got to

204
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Speaker 1: pick one or two things that you want to be

205
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Speaker 1: good at because God doesn't give you everything, and you

206
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Speaker 1: can't be good at everything. So we have to decide

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Speaker 1: we're gonna suck at some things and play for fun,

208
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Speaker 1: and some things we're gonna focus on. And that's really

209
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Speaker 1: hard because when it comes to the season of sucking,

210
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Speaker 1: you feel insecure and bad about yourself because the other

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Speaker 1: people are good. So it's like it's very hard to

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Speaker 1: manage playing chess and checkers with this sports shit. So

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Speaker 1: right now, she's not in volleyball season, and she's doing

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Speaker 1: volleyball on days that she's not playing lacrosse, and then

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Speaker 1: so hopefully in the fall she'll be better at volleyball

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Speaker 1: when they're playing volleyball, and all summer, I'm trying to manage,

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Speaker 1: like playing all of it so we could just keep

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Speaker 1: up with the joe Is and basketball is gonna be

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Speaker 1: some sort of occasional thing and we're gonna sort of

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Speaker 1: suck at basketball, but try to keep up and not

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Speaker 1: cry because we suck, and then try during basketball season

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Speaker 1: to keep up with lacrosse for next spring. I don't

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Speaker 1: fucking know. This is insane, That's what I wanted to

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Speaker 1: say overall, I want to talk about tween rules in

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Speaker 1: an uber. I'm not comfortable with their Like many adults

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Speaker 1: now after school they walk to get boba. We walked

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Speaker 1: to We mean walk to get boba? And what do

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Speaker 1: you mean you went to Target in New York City

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Speaker 1: by yourself, Like you're twelve years old almost she's thirteen

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Speaker 1: years old in two weeks. But like, these kids are

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Speaker 1: all going to the mall and doing things, and I

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Speaker 1: know I'm helicoptering, but it's just like it's New York

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Speaker 1: City and I don't like it and I feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: And so I have the Life three sixty track you

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Speaker 1: kid on the phone, which I feel comfortable about, and

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Speaker 1: it talk. It tells you how fast a car is

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Speaker 1: going and all that. And Paul, my fiance, actually gave

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Speaker 1: her rules for an uber, which I thought was amazing.

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Speaker 1: When you get in, you take the uber's name, you

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Speaker 1: take the information, and you call a parent and you

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Speaker 1: tell them who you're in the uber with, and you

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Speaker 1: tell the uber person that you're just gonna call the

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Speaker 1: parent and can you get their name and information. You

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Speaker 1: basically let the uber driver know that you're calling your

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Speaker 1: parent and letting them know that you're in the car

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Speaker 1: and how long will it take to get to the

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Speaker 1: next place. So if you don't get to the next

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Speaker 1: place on time, the parent knows that it's because of

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Speaker 1: the uber that you're in, Like it's just effectively communicating

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Speaker 1: so you feel safe, so the uber person knows you're

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Speaker 1: alert and just that was sort of how Paul told

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Speaker 1: it to her. She could explain it better because just

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Speaker 1: a lot this between age who