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Speaker 1: Oh, it's time for the fifteen minute morning show podcast

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Speaker 1: thanks to our friends at Harry's. Look, when it comes

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Speaker 1: four dollars or more in the drug store. That's just

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Speaker 1: one of the billions of reasons you need to check

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Speaker 1: out Harry's. Go to Harry's dot com. They want you

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Speaker 1: to try their most popular trial set for free. It

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Speaker 1: just pay a small fee for shipping. Here's how you

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Speaker 1: do it. Go to Harry's dot com slash elvis. Do

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Speaker 1: it now before this fifteen minute morning show podcast is over.

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Speaker 1: Harry's dot com slash Elvis. What would you talk about

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Speaker 1: on your on your podcasts shows? Just a bunch of

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Speaker 1: yugs hanging out. I'll wait a second, that's the wrong podcast. Hey,

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Speaker 1: it's the fifteen minute Warning Show. The guys are here.

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Speaker 1: I'm scary. Is great team who vomitated into a Vonsai plant?

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Speaker 1: Just now? And Garrett, what did you do there? You're

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Speaker 1: right there? Yeah, I'm doing great. Man. You have something

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Speaker 1: on your chest? Well, yeah, I would like to tell

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Speaker 1: a story. You want to get it off. I'd been

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Speaker 1: begging to tell a story for about four days. Now,

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Speaker 1: why did you do it on the big show? I

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Speaker 1: have nowhere to tell this damn story. So finally I'm

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Speaker 1: at the bottom of the totem pole here to finally

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Speaker 1: be able to tell my story, because I mean, nobody

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Speaker 1: want story. I want to hear your story. But first,

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Speaker 1: what's a yug? Yu? I just it's guy backwards yu y.

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Speaker 1: I called you guys yugs. That's okay? Is that a

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Speaker 1: fair show thing? It's not this podcast, it's the I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't even know what day it is.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know a podcast we're hosting. But all

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Speaker 1: I know is the girl's freaking went home early and

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Speaker 1: they just left us in here alone. So that's Okay,

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Speaker 1: it does happen. But Gregg, he's got his coat on,

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Speaker 1: and he really thought he was gonna walk away and

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Speaker 1: escape the the week by with not telling his story

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Speaker 1: and getting this out on the here. So it almost

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Speaker 1: like is you're about to vomit on the podcast, so

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Speaker 1: tell your story. So vomit all over the podcast. Tell

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Speaker 1: your story, Greg T. And there's no time or on you.

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Speaker 1: So there's a really cool deli down the street from

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Speaker 1: our from where we work, and I've been going in

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Speaker 1: there quite often to the point that they know who

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Speaker 1: I am. They'll say, hey, Greg T, you know, good afternoon.

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Speaker 1: And I walk in there and I make some little

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Speaker 1: you know, some chit chat and whatever, and a little

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Speaker 1: by litterally get to know all the guys. So there's

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Speaker 1: Jordan's and there's Moan, and there's Freddie and those guys

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Speaker 1: are the standard employees of the deli, and they speak

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Speaker 1: the language of Arabic. So sometimes they're speaking in Arabic,

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Speaker 1: but I don't understand, and I am always crossing my

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Speaker 1: fingers that they're never talking about me, but I'm sure

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Speaker 1: that they because they're always laughing when I walk in there.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, now does do you walk in, they start

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Speaker 1: talking in another language and then they start laughing or

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Speaker 1: they already left, right exactly. I walk in, they start

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Speaker 1: talking in Arabic and then they start laughing. I do

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Speaker 1: think you're talking about me? Okay, so chalk that up

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Speaker 1: for lesson learned. Uh that. So and so I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to Jordan one day and Jordan's says, greg T, I

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Speaker 1: want to introduce you to my cousin who's gonna be

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Speaker 1: staying here for the next year with us, right, And

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Speaker 1: he says, here's my cousin. And my cousin's name is Zobby.

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Speaker 1: And I say, okay, great, I go hello, Zubby and

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Speaker 1: everybody starts laughing. So every single day goes by and

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Speaker 1: go get a sandwich, and then I see the people

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Speaker 1: and I'll say hello to Freddie, and then there's a

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Speaker 1: be yo, Zubby, what's up? Right? And I keep on

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Speaker 1: yelling Zubby. So about a month goes by and happy

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Speaker 1: to be Yesterday morning, Danielle needed something to eat real fast,

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Speaker 1: so she said tea, since you're going outside, could you

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Speaker 1: grab this for me. I'll pay you when you come

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Speaker 1: back up, it said journal problem. So I went down

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Speaker 1: to the Delhi and I said, hey, I need you

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Speaker 1: know this for a sandwich that a friend of mine needs,

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Speaker 1: no problem, Greg t, And they made it. So I

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Speaker 1: went to the cash register to pay, even to leave

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Speaker 1: and come back up here. When he got to the

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Speaker 1: cash register, who was in front of the cash register?

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Speaker 1: But it was Zabby, so Zabi says. He goes, Greg T,

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Speaker 1: why do you call me Zab? And I said, because

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Speaker 1: your name is Zab? And he says, no, my name

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Speaker 1: is yah Zine, And I said, what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: So for the past month, I've been calling this guy Zab,

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Speaker 1: which is I thought his name in Arabic? Right. Turns

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Speaker 1: out Jordan, his cousin, told me that his name was Zaby,

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Speaker 1: and and he's just been going going along with it,

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Speaker 1: never correcting me, when really his name is yah Zine.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what zaby means in Arabic? It means dick.

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Speaker 1: So I have been calling him dick for a month, right,

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Speaker 1: And then they sent you up. They framed you. Every

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Speaker 1: time I walk in there, I see the guys, Hey, Jordan,

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Speaker 1: what's up, Freddie, what's going on? Like yo? Zabby? And

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Speaker 1: he and he turns. They all laugh and he just

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Speaker 1: smirks and waves his hand. Now did they now did?

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Speaker 1: I wonder if they told him that They did? They

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Speaker 1: told you and they set him up like that. Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happened, but eventually so he finally

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Speaker 1: it was just the two of us at the cash register.

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Speaker 1: It was like the perfect storm. I was there. He

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Speaker 1: was excuse, he's behind the counter cutting meats and stuff.

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Speaker 1: So that's why they that's why they even laughing all

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Speaker 1: this time because that time and he they all knew

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Speaker 1: that the word is zab in Arabic means dick. You're

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Speaker 1: lucky didn't punch you right, Well, I know, but I

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Speaker 1: had no idea. What do I know? So? And do

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Speaker 1: you know what the funny thing is? Though? After I

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Speaker 1: left and I was so embarrassed, I'm sitting there gonna

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Speaker 1: know what, There's always that time where I would yell

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Speaker 1: Zabbi and the other three guys would laugh their asses off,

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Speaker 1: and he would just smirk and go and go like

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Speaker 1: this and like he kind of wave, never really laugh

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Speaker 1: until finally, Now I know, because he was tired of

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Speaker 1: me calling him dick for he was tampering with your

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Speaker 1: sandwiches after you called him every time. I want to know,

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Speaker 1: was he adding all kinds of things are making your

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Speaker 1: doing something within or putting meat on the sign that

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Speaker 1: putting on my my sandwich when I came and I

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Speaker 1: come in, so I'm I'm I'm a creature of habit.

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Speaker 1: I'm I go in there very like almost every day.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, I've been calling him a dick

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Speaker 1: for like a month over an let's turn the tables.

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Speaker 1: Let's say, um, you work there and some customer came

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Speaker 1: in every day and called you dick? Right, what would

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Speaker 1: you do? How would you get back at him? Would

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Speaker 1: you spit in his coffee? Would you punch him? Would

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Speaker 1: you funk with his food? You know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think. I'm too scared to mess with people's foods.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how that because you listen, I have allergies,

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Speaker 1: so I can't, in my mom thinker to spit. You

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Speaker 1: don't know what people are allergic to. You. I never

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Speaker 1: want to give something something to somebody that they digest.

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Speaker 1: I would never do that and run that risk, even

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Speaker 1: if they called you a dick. Every day. I think

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Speaker 1: on my grab like here, don't me even tell you something?

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Speaker 1: But no, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't I gotta

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Speaker 1: say that that was a great story. Why didn't you

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Speaker 1: tell that on the Big Show? Well, I've been trying

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Speaker 1: to tell the story in the Big but the Elvis day,

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Speaker 1: didn't you know, he wasn't perceptive to the story, and

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Speaker 1: then receptive to the story. And then today when Brody

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Speaker 1: pitched the idea to him, he kind of said, you know, well,

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Speaker 1: Greg goes into this Delhi where this. Don't blame the

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Speaker 1: pitching you did. He used the word, and as soon

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Speaker 1: as Elvis heard the pitch, he didn't want to go

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Speaker 1: to it. Don't blame the pitch. That's what blamed the catcher.

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Speaker 1: It would have been funny. It would have been a funny, funny,

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Speaker 1: funny story here. Yeah, but it's on there, told him.

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Speaker 1: But the bottom of the I think of enough people

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Speaker 1: hearing this podcast on Monday morning, text in and say, Elvis,

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Speaker 1: please ask Greg T to tell the Deli story. I

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Speaker 1: think it'll get on the So do Greg to your

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Speaker 1: favor on Monday morning, not at six o'clock, seven coast time,

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Speaker 1: seven coast time, text, I really want to hear Greg

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Speaker 1: T's Deli story. He told it on. Don't mention that,

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Speaker 1: just say you want to get a deli story. There

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Speaker 1: were rules. Scared start off, Yeah, I wanted to go

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Speaker 1: on here the deli store. By the way, I do

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Speaker 1: this to Scary every semester, Yes, he does every semester.

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Speaker 1: Scary is terrible with intern names. We have fourteen interns.

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Speaker 1: Every semester. You are doing this to me, Yeah, what

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Speaker 1: what's that girl's name with the glasses on the phones? Whatever?

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Speaker 1: And I'll say, Angela, come on, man, what's her name?

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Speaker 1: Dude's Angela? Alright, I'm I did that last semester. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna lie to you this semester. He'll go and go, hey,

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Speaker 1: Angela's going and of course you go, my name Stephanie

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Speaker 1: and he looks. You know, he faltered every semester because

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Speaker 1: it's terrible because I'm really trying to honestly learn the

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Speaker 1: interns names. There's like seventeen of them, right, But now

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Speaker 1: I do it. Even after you've learned their names, you'll

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Speaker 1: still ask me, like three weeks later, hey man, what's

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Speaker 1: that girl's name on the phones? So I feel like

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Speaker 1: if you don't remember their name after three weeks, then

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Speaker 1: I lie to you and you go, oh, that's right,

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Speaker 1: or I'll tell you intern Be's name as intern A.

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Speaker 1: So the name sounds familiar, but not to the right person.

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Speaker 1: I know there's an intern Melissa, so I'm gonna that

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Speaker 1: must be you. Yeah, you did that. You set me

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Speaker 1: up on purpose. But what about when you talk about

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Speaker 1: people behind their backs like that in another lane or

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Speaker 1: in front of them in another language. When you get

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Speaker 1: your nails done, you have got My wife goes from manicure,

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Speaker 1: she knows that they're talking about her. Yeah, well, it

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Speaker 1: happens in my elevator. Um, you know, if I walk

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Speaker 1: into the elevator, two women of Asian descent are in there,

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Speaker 1: and I'm in the elevator with them, and They're looking

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Speaker 1: at each other, back and forth, and they just go

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Speaker 1: into into a different language. I'm sure it happens, and

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Speaker 1: I get a complex over it. I'm like, are they

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Speaker 1: talking about? Are they talking behind my back? The dice

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Speaker 1: chances are that you don't understand what they're talking about,

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Speaker 1: and they probably are. What if I spoke fluent Mandarin,

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Speaker 1: then the joke would be on them, correct and then

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Speaker 1: you would say something. They would be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: the odds they look at you. There's no way you

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Speaker 1: come close to speaking man now, they're judging by the

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Speaker 1: way I look. You're right, we're but still don't look

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Speaker 1: the way you look. You don't look Asian. And most

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Speaker 1: schools don't teach Mandarin. And when seventh grade, odds all

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Speaker 1: you learned Spanish, French, retalent. If I took five different

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Speaker 1: languages in college, if you look at right, now, look

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Speaker 1: at the odds here in the room. There's four of us. Right,

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Speaker 1: let's say one of us did that's a that's chance

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Speaker 1: that that's somebody here. What languages do you guys speak

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Speaker 1: outside of English? None? I understand a little Spanish, little Spanish,

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Speaker 1: little Spanish, Polish, he says, yamash he didn't speak. I

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Speaker 1: can speak a bunch of together. I understand everything that

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Speaker 1: they say. I just can't put all together in sentences.

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Speaker 1: I was a kid that was raised American here instead

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Speaker 1: of being raised Polish. It happens. My my uncle is

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Speaker 1: very upset my that my parents never really uh you know,

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Speaker 1: raised me. But they get very Polish on holidays, right, Yes,

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Speaker 1: we do. See, that's the thing. We still celebrate our

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Speaker 1: traditions from the past. Like I get very Italian all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden on Easter that's coming up. Soon. I'm

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Speaker 1: also Jewish and we celebrate past want not What do

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Speaker 1: you mean okay technically your okay? Your mother married a

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Speaker 1: second marriage a Jewish guy. It doesn't change your genetics.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't change Wait, I've known you for twenty two years. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you Jewish on the holidays when he wants to started

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Speaker 1: dating him when we when I was fifteen, and then

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Speaker 1: they got married when I was eighteen, and you and

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Speaker 1: your daughter is gonna be bought Mitford. Well no, but

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Speaker 1: but we so I have Jewish names. But we wait

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Speaker 1: a second team, so no, stupid? It was raised wasn't?

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Speaker 1: I was raised Catholic? But since I've been fifteen, we

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Speaker 1: have been celebrating all of the Jewish holidays. So that

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Speaker 1: makes me half Jewish? No? No, wait a second mom,

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Speaker 1: sovers bigger than I celebrate bus Steele Day. Doesn't make

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Speaker 1: me French. I have a yamaka that's been blessed in Israel.

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Speaker 1: Body great, No, that doesn't count football. I don't play

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Speaker 1: in the NFL. Is your mother? What is she? My

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Speaker 1: mom is Catholic? Is she German? What she buy? She's

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Speaker 1: a German Catholic? German Catholic that screams jew and what

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Speaker 1: about your dad? He was he was a pollock, he

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Speaker 1: was Polish Catholic. You have not you have not a

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Speaker 1: trade of Jewan. Yes, but I don't speak to my

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Speaker 1: biological and my end stand really is my dad. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you still haven't gone through. What's the first letter

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Speaker 1: in the Hebrew alphabet high? Wrong? That's the eighteen I

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Speaker 1: was closed. Did you know? That's why eighteen is considered

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Speaker 1: good luck and why you write checks to Jewish occasions.

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Speaker 1: I was just going to say that divisions of eighteen

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Speaker 1: divisions of eighteen. No talk to me about this. So

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Speaker 1: the letter high it also means um life life. That

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Speaker 1: doesn't say right there like life to life hum exactly?

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Speaker 1: So um high is uh considered good luck? It's the

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Speaker 1: eighteen letter letter. Right. But he doesn't know that he's

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Speaker 1: not Jewish. I'm trying to say. He keeps cutting me off.

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Speaker 1: I want to say what, and he keeps saying the

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Speaker 1: same thing. I'm Greg eats locks every morning after the

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Speaker 1: last four days. That does not lock. That does not

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Speaker 1: make him Jewish. Oh my god, I'll go to any

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Speaker 1: Jewish Delhi. I love him. I ko shirts great like

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Speaker 1: I'm I can't BELI I'm learning something knew about Okay,

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Speaker 1: all these years, I really thought you were Jewish Jewish.

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Speaker 1: I'm half jewsh not half Jewish. Your step Jewish, but

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Speaker 1: you're not. At this point in life, I don't even

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Speaker 1: have a say hold on, hold on, I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: this as a jew, right, yes, Okay. How many times

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Speaker 1: have you gone to one store because it was closer,

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Speaker 1: even though they charged more money because you didn't want

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Speaker 1: to drive five miles to save twenty bucks on a TV,

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Speaker 1: never just going to the first store. I can that

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Speaker 1: proved not. I'm sorry. I had a fight with him

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Speaker 1: last year. He's buying a television set and I said,

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Speaker 1: you gotta go to this particular store, right, I used

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Speaker 1: to go to PC Richard and Sons always better. He's like,

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Speaker 1: it's too fun to dry, I'm going to blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: I I also said, Brody, I'm gonna put you in

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Speaker 1: in in uh in contact with a good friend of mine.

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Speaker 1: He's gonna give you a low price. Do not ask

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Speaker 1: him for another discount. And you know what Brody did.

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Speaker 1: What he did he asked it for another discount, proving

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Speaker 1: my point. Right, that's terribly that he does that. Enough,

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Speaker 1: No emails. No. No. The bottom line is, if you

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Speaker 1: believe that you're half Jewish, then you could be half Jewish.

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Speaker 1: So I believe that I'm Jewish, so I am him.

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Speaker 1: I was Catholic, and I'm not trying to claim otherwise.

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Speaker 1: I'm also half Italian as well. You're out of halves? No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: how many halves do you have? How you? First of

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Speaker 1: all hold on because my actions are much more like

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Speaker 1: an Italian person. I don't think I'm Italian. Time having

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Speaker 1: a problem here. What Italian is a nationality, that's Jewish

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Speaker 1: is a religion, doesn't not half Italian. It doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: anything anymore. If you are who you are, then you

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Speaker 1: are what you are, right, I am I'm You're not

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Speaker 1: comparing apples to apples. When I say I'm Jewish, people go,

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Speaker 1: I'm Italian Italian, But you're half Catholic, half Jewish. But

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Speaker 1: I have Judaism in my life, and I could be

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Speaker 1: half Jewish if I had no no, no, no no.

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Speaker 1: My wife is Italian. Time. If you watch a murder mystery,

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Speaker 1: you're not a murderer. But I talk Italian like that? No,

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Speaker 1: I have not, but I've been to many You could

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Speaker 1: be an Italian Jew. I am I'm Italian Jew. Christmas.

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Speaker 1: That's it. That's internationality went to religion. There are Jews

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Speaker 1: in every country. I don't believe that you have to

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Speaker 1: be that nationality in order to be that nationality. If

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Speaker 1: you believe not a nationality, but if you believe that

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Speaker 1: your Italian. That's what nationality means. You can't say I'm

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Speaker 1: Italian because you act Italian. I do act Italian. Polish

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Speaker 1: now I'm now Polish. If he wants to start acting

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Speaker 1: to be Polish, I believe I'm Polish. Right, Garrett, your congratulation,

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Speaker 1: then thank you very much. You know who you are

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Speaker 1: on the inside of your body. You know nationality your passport.

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Speaker 1: You can't writing your passport. I feel like I'm Italian, unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: is right. Unfortunately I have to actually and t s

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Speaker 1: A stops you. Okay, your passport says you feel like

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Speaker 1: you How are you Italian? And Garrett is correct? Comes

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Speaker 1: time to dinner choices, you could be. I feel i'd

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Speaker 1: feel in Italian tonight to an Italian restaurant. Listen, Garrett

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Speaker 1: were talking about it earlier. It's two thousand seventeen. I

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Speaker 1: could be anything I want to be, except smart, I

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Speaker 1: am brilliant, You'll be brilliant as brilliant, coming to a

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Speaker 1: fifteen minute morning show,