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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to my favorite Murder the minisode.

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Speaker 2: This one is Easter and Passover themed.

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Speaker 1: Congratulations, we've finally gotten to Easter Passover.

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Speaker 2: Finally we've made it another year. Everyone I know this

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Speaker 2: is the time, but everyone likes to reflect.

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Speaker 3: We build toward it and we land at it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, here we go. My neighbor's house is haunted. Lighthearted,

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Speaker 2: sort of dear MFM fam. When I was in high school,

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Speaker 2: I used to dog sit for my neighbors when they

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Speaker 2: went on vacation. Every night, without fail, the two mini

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Speaker 2: poodles would congregate in the front hall in the exact

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Speaker 2: same spot and bark relentlessly for lack of a better description,

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Speaker 2: to the air above them. To be clear, this was

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Speaker 2: not a neat to go out bark. They were both

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Speaker 2: so focused and clearly looking at something. Fucking dogs, man,

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Speaker 2: let's scare the shit out of you.

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Speaker 3: It's so scary.

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Speaker 2: One night, the barking was especially bad, and I had

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Speaker 2: already taken them out for several walks to try to

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Speaker 2: get them to calm down. I took them out one

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Speaker 2: last time before bed and thought, well, eventually they'll shut up.

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Speaker 2: When we got back inside, I locked the front door

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Speaker 2: and pulled really hard on it several times to make

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Speaker 2: sure it was locked. I remember doing this because I

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Speaker 2: was really nervous about being alone in the house overnight.

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Speaker 2: The dogs resumed their position and barking while I attempted

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Speaker 2: to watch some TV and fall asleep. After a while,

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Speaker 2: they calmed down and stopped barking. All of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: I felt like it was too quiet. I peeked around

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Speaker 2: the corner into the front hall. The dogs were gone

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Speaker 2: and the front door was wide open.

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Speaker 3: Ooh.

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Speaker 2: I freaked out and immediately ran outside to find them.

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Speaker 2: Luckily they hadn't gotten too far, but I was sufficiently scared.

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Speaker 2: I've always wondered if the house had a ghost who

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Speaker 2: got tired of their barking and took matters into their

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Speaker 2: own hands let them out, because they were like, would

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Speaker 2: you shut up? Got to about seven years later, and

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Speaker 2: I'm at my neighbor's house for passover. One of the

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Speaker 2: guests had a two year old baby who was crawling

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Speaker 2: around all night and providing much entertainment. During dinner, he

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Speaker 2: pointed up into the air and said ghost, ghost, Ghost.

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Speaker 2: Everyone froze and his mom's jaw dropped. She had no

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Speaker 2: idea he knew that word.

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Speaker 1: Hmm.

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Speaker 2: A little later in the evening, he was crawling on

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Speaker 2: the floor and stopped at the exact same spot the

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Speaker 2: dog she used to bark, pointed to the floor ready

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Speaker 2: for this, and said, dead body.

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Speaker 3: No, this is this is not true.

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Speaker 2: He was so matter of fact about it, And once

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Speaker 2: again the adults were shocked and creeped out because this

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Speaker 2: kid's normal vocab is well that of a two year old.

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Speaker 2: After years of feeling like maybe my experiences in the

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Speaker 2: house had been due to my imagination, I was glad

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Speaker 2: to get confirmation from the little munchkin. Hope you guys

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Speaker 2: enjoy the story. Stay sexy, and stay away from dead

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Speaker 2: bodies buried under houses. Emily sent from my iPhone.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I mean that literally sounds like it's out

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Speaker 1: of the Conjuring franchise somehow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I would immediately start digging, though. I'd fucking rip

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Speaker 2: that floor open that night and be like, right, this

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Speaker 2: kid's right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's just two. There's your two concrete

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Speaker 1: pieces of evidence, right there. Dogs and babies.

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Speaker 2: They know dogs and babies like, trust.

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Speaker 1: Them, follow them into the floorboards if necessary.

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Speaker 2: Look at Frank right now.

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Speaker 3: Speaking of dogs, look at Frank.

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Speaker 1: He's like, God, so sick of these ghosts. Okay, this

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Speaker 1: isn't in celebration of Passover. I'm going to read you

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Speaker 1: this email, but I won't read you this subject line.

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Speaker 3: It says, hey, gang.

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Speaker 1: Last week I smoke pot at the Satyr where the

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Speaker 1: house rules were. Every time bitter herbs are mentioned in

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Speaker 1: the Hagadah, you have to take a hit puff puff

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Speaker 1: over anyone. Anyway, my friend name withheld to protect the

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Speaker 1: nice Jewish boys of America starts getting hassled by one

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Speaker 1: of his roommates to tell the quote story about the

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Speaker 1: guy who founded his temple. He finally agrees to and says, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so my temple is in a very Jewish town, and

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Speaker 1: it's a very prominent temple. But there's this guy who

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Speaker 1: is instrumental in founding it, who used to be a

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Speaker 1: really important rabbi there, who isn't mentioned at all on

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Speaker 1: the website or in the temple history anywhere. And the

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Speaker 1: reason is he hired a hitman to kill his wife Jersey. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this at table of partially blazed four cups of manishevits?

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Speaker 1: In college kids start losing their fucking minds he continues, yeah,

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Speaker 1: look him up, Fred Newlander. Damn from the opposite end

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Speaker 1: of the table. The information enters my brain and with

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Speaker 1: the voice simplifying power of the substances I've consumed that night,

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Speaker 1: I bellow, all caps, I've listened to my favorite Murder

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Speaker 1: episode about him.

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Speaker 3: Are you serious?

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Speaker 1: Fred fucking Newlander founded your temple? And he bellows back yeah,

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Speaker 1: and the girls sit next to him, who I've never met,

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Speaker 1: yells down the table. I love that podcast. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I've listened to that episode. And then she turns back

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Speaker 1: to him, Fred Neulander founded your synagogue. We are in

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Speaker 1: a state of pot fueled recognition ecstasy.

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Speaker 3: I yell back.

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Speaker 1: I have to email them about this. They need to know,

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Speaker 1: And now you do. I smoke pot for the first

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Speaker 1: time at a passover Satya and I met a fellow

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Speaker 1: murderino all because a nice Jewish boy bought me weed.

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Speaker 1: Stay Jewish and don't get high, Sally.

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Speaker 2: We're impossible. That's a thing to do, by the way, right,

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, my god, yeah, wow, I love that one.

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Speaker 2: I love that. It's like, we're not telling you the story.

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Speaker 2: We're just telling you about this story of finding out

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Speaker 2: that the story happened. I just that was great. Okay,

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Speaker 2: this one is fucking crazy. I'm not going to reach

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Speaker 2: you the subject line, but this I fucking love this one. Okay,

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Speaker 2: hey gang. In April twenty sixteen, I left my home

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Speaker 2: in Phoenix to move to Seattle, because because why I

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Speaker 2: live in a house with a yard when you can

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Speaker 2: pay the same amount for a basement studio with free spiders.

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Speaker 2: Since I was born here, you could call it a return,

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Speaker 2: but my only memories of the first two years of

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Speaker 2: my life are derived from old photos. I met my

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Speaker 2: partner in March twenty eighteen. It was on a dating

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Speaker 2: app that almost goes without saying right. We clicked immediately

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Speaker 2: after realizing how much we had in common, friends of friends,

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Speaker 2: the same shows and favorite bars. One of those how

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Speaker 2: have we never met moments? Fast forward, but there's just

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Speaker 2: two little arrows. The next time I traveled back to Phoenix,

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Speaker 2: he came with me. I had a whole host of

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Speaker 2: things I was eager to show him. Childhood photo albums

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Speaker 2: at my parents' house weren't at the top of my list,

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Speaker 2: but I let our hosts have their moment. We got

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Speaker 2: excited when we saw documentation of my first Easter egg

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Speaker 2: hunt not only because of my quintessential nineties baby, bright

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Speaker 2: pink tights, but because it was in our Seattle neighborhood.

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Speaker 2: My partner knew the neighborhood since his grandmother lived there,

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Speaker 2: and my mom got a kick out of the idea

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Speaker 2: that we might have been at the same Easter egg hunt.

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Speaker 2: Before leaving, I made sure to snap a photo on

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Speaker 2: my phone, you know, in case I ever needed fashion

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Speaker 2: inspiration from my younger self. Once we returned to Seattle,

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Speaker 2: his parents treated us to the same trip down memory lane.

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Speaker 2: I made sure to point out my partner's sweet baby

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Speaker 2: angel bowl cut in his Easter photos, but to be fair,

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Speaker 2: my wispy George Costanza hair wasn't much better, and I

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Speaker 2: pulled out my phone to remind him. More shocking than

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Speaker 2: my hairstyle was the little boy grabbing an egg behind me.

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Speaker 2: Not only did he match the photos in front of us,

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Speaker 2: he was in the same exact position, just captured from

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Speaker 2: the other side. My cameo wasn't as conspicuous as his,

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Speaker 2: but my bright pink tights were unmistakable in the background.

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Speaker 3: No, yes, there picture together.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we have the phone to get our Instagram to

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Speaker 2: look at it. I'll show you. We started our relationship

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Speaker 2: almost twenty five years to the day after that Easter morning,

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Speaker 2: and next Easter will be married. Sorry Jesus, it's our holiday.

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Speaker 2: Now stay sexy and let your parents show off their

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Speaker 2: dusty photo albums. Kateps shout out to our badass moms

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Speaker 2: who both evaded Ted Bundy in the early seventies at

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Speaker 2: the University of Washington. Okay, Molly is going to show

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Speaker 2: you the photo. Okay, it's fucking I've studied it. It's

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Speaker 2: fucking real. There's her in the front, and then her

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Speaker 2: little tights are up in the like upper corner, and

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Speaker 2: then he's in the background like picking up an egg.

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Speaker 2: It's fucking that's insane, uncanny, It's uncanny. We'll put it

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Speaker 2: on Instagram. Oh I love that.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was the cutest. I can't believe that.

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Speaker 1: And I have to say I did think that it

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Speaker 1: was going to be Ted Bundy was in the background.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to them avoiding Ted Bundy.

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Speaker 1: In the background, Ted Bundy is hurriedly trying to get

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Speaker 1: to his gold Volkswagen bug. Okay, well, here's a fun

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Speaker 1: Easter story similar not the same. Okay, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to read you the subject line. It says hello

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Speaker 1: and welcome. When I was three, I loved candy more

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Speaker 1: than any thing. Candy in any form or variety. Candy

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Speaker 1: was my passion. I was also an early riser, which

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Speaker 1: meant a lot of mornings spent unsupervised until my parents woke.

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Speaker 1: It was the nineties and parenting was mostly just light supervision.

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Speaker 1: Far be it from me to interfere with the lives

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Speaker 1: of my parents. Imagine my joy when I rose on

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Speaker 1: a spring morning, likely before the sun, to see just

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Speaker 1: at my eye level on the kitchen table a all caps, beautiful,

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Speaker 1: colorful box of candy with Easter eggs and a bunny

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Speaker 1: and beautiful flowers. I managed to get the box open

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Speaker 1: and was delighted to find lots of colorful little tablets.

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Speaker 1: What could be better? Naturally, I ate them all. Oh God,

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Speaker 1: my mom's telling you the story goes like this. I

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Speaker 1: woke up and walked into the living room to find

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Speaker 1: three year old tailor with black drool running out of

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Speaker 1: her mouth, telling me how good the candy on the

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Speaker 1: table was. Oh my god, it's the Easter egg dye pellets.

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Speaker 1: She's eaten Easter egg dye pellets.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know. I don't know what the like.

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Speaker 3: Shit, that's right, yeah, who are my Jewish friend?

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Speaker 1: So they're basically it's a kit you get at the

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Speaker 1: store and they give you pellets of dye, so it's

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Speaker 1: like green yellow and it usually comes out kind of

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Speaker 1: like different.

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Speaker 2: What are the pellets look like? Like pills or something?

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Speaker 3: They literally look like sweet tarts.

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Speaker 2: Oh you put that in the okay.

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Speaker 3: But they're much darker than like a pastel colored candy,

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Speaker 3: very dark because you put them in hot water with

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Speaker 3: vinegar and something else and that's what you dunk your

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Speaker 3: eggs into to dye them.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I'm fucking forty five and that's the first time

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Speaker 2: I've learned that.

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Speaker 1: I guess we're going to get you a egg kit

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Speaker 1: this year so you can see the joy we've got

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Speaker 1: living in.

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Speaker 2: Eight the fucking color food coloring pellets.

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Speaker 3: The pellets.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tell you more, because there's more, it says.

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Speaker 1: Horror and panic ensued. After a call with poison Control,

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Speaker 1: they determined that this particular brand of Easter egg dye

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Speaker 1: was not toxic and I should be Okay, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's so it's so dense. It's like you put a

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Speaker 1: big bull of hot water down and like everybody can

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Speaker 1: dip their egg in the red water all night if

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Speaker 1: you want to crazy. Okay, this was not my only

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Speaker 1: for ate with poison control, and my own child has

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Speaker 1: already built up his own wrap sheet. We are exploratory eaters,

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Speaker 1: stay sexy and don't be shy to get up when

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Speaker 1: your children do.

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Speaker 3: Don't be shy to get up when your children do.

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Speaker 2: Taylor, Oh, exploratory eating and that sign off is fucking incredible.

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Speaker 3: Just genius.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a real that's a you know, around Easter time,

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Speaker 1: I think everybody gets a little crazy too, where it's

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Speaker 1: like people maybe having more fun because it's a little

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Speaker 1: warmer and they're gound.

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Speaker 3: Party is more sleeping in, maybe a cute outfits on, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: drinking a gin fizz.

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Speaker 2: Okay. My last one is about a cockatial and it's

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Speaker 2: got It's very long, but it has peachey vibes, so

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Speaker 2: have to read it. Hi, Karen and Georgia and Stephen rip.

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Speaker 2: I know he's not dead. I just miss him. I

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Speaker 2: just listened to the Hometown's featuring pets and it jogged

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Speaker 2: a memory of one of the funniest stories in my

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Speaker 2: family's history, starring none other than Billy, are mean little

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Speaker 2: cockatile with the lungs of a demon and the survival

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Speaker 2: skills of a feral raccoon. Billy was technically my mom's bird,

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Speaker 2: but he quickly became the entire family's problem. My dad,

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Speaker 2: Tom is a plumber and is constantly coming home from

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Speaker 2: jobs with fines, leftover supplies, random tools, once a weird

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Speaker 2: antique toilet, but Billy was by far the strangest thing

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Speaker 2: he ever brought home. Billy was offered to my dad

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Speaker 2: who thought, sure, why not bring home a cockatial. We

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Speaker 2: think Billy was around one or two years old at

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Speaker 2: the time. My mom had just had a double bunyanectomy.

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Speaker 2: Imagine me reading that the first time, going what what

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Speaker 2: the fuck?

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Speaker 1: But I like to picture that her mom was like

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Speaker 1: old fashioned in a hospital bed, both legs up in

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Speaker 1: the air interraction, but just her feet totally.

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Speaker 2: It's one of those things where it's like it's a

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Speaker 2: tiny surgery, but it involves like so much recovery that

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Speaker 2: you need a cockateal about.

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Speaker 1: Also that you have to get a bird that will remember,

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Speaker 1: will not die for ninety years. I feel like bunyans

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Speaker 1: were a big thing in the seventies that really haven't.

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Speaker 1: People don't talk about it anymore totally.

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Speaker 2: And warts like can on hands and stuff. There's always

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Speaker 2: kind of warts.

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Speaker 1: Warts were everywhere. No one talks about warts anymore.

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Speaker 2: It's almost like you should get vaccinated.

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Speaker 1: Okay, It's almost like there's cover up and a conspiracy

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Speaker 1: with Jeffrey Epstein.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay. So my dad thought, you know what, really

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Speaker 2: help her recovery allowed emotionally unstable parrot, So naturally, Billy

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Speaker 2: became part of the family. He lived to be twenty one.

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Speaker 2: He died when I was seventeen or eighteen, which feels

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Speaker 2: both impressive and like some sort of endurance challenge from

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Speaker 2: the universe. He wasn't particularly sweet. He'd whistle back at

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Speaker 2: you or say hi, and then immediately try to bite you.

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Speaker 2: But he did love my mom, and eventually he tolerated me.

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Speaker 2: I was the only person he'd occasionally step onto without

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Speaker 2: drawing blood, and sometimes he'd climb under my chin to

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Speaker 2: cuddle like a tiny, angry neck warmer. I wanted a

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Speaker 2: dog so badly growing up that Billy was what I had,

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Speaker 2: So I pretended he was my dog. Until I was

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Speaker 2: at least thirteen and mildly self aware. Now onto the

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Speaker 2: main event, the Great Easter Escape trademarked. Our house had

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Speaker 2: an enclosed sun porch with four doors between it and

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Speaker 2: the outside world. Sometimes we'd let Billy stretch his wings

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Speaker 2: and fly around on the sun porch for some solo

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Speaker 2: bird therapy. One fateful Easter Sunday, while Jesus was out

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Speaker 2: here resurrecting, Billy decided to follow suit and rise m

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Speaker 2: My uncle Chuck came over with my three cousins for Easter,

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Speaker 2: and while trying to juggle the kids and open the

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Speaker 2: sun porch, he left it open for just a second

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Speaker 2: too long, and out flew Billy like a feathered banshee

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Speaker 2: shot from a cannon. Our town was maybe fifteen hundred people,

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Speaker 2: but rural and full of woods, open fields, and bad ideas.

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Speaker 2: My dad immediately took off after him, following Billy's panic

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Speaker 2: screeches from tree to tree across town. He said Billy

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Speaker 2: just kept flying up, probably because the highest he'd ever

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Speaker 2: been was the curtain rod, and the sheer vertical freedom

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Speaker 2: overwhelmed him. My dad climbed trees, sprinted through backyards, and

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Speaker 2: got a variety of small town reactions. One man, bless

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Speaker 2: his chaotic soul, offered to grab a chainsaw and cut

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Speaker 2: down a whole ass tree if it would help reach

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Speaker 2: the bird. Meanwhile, another man yelled at my dad, threatening

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Speaker 2: if you fall, you'll sue me. I'm calling the cops,

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Speaker 2: to which my dad mid tree, out of breath, yelled,

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00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 2: good call the cops. I need backup Outwards into the saga,

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00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 2: my dad finally found Billy perched in a tree two

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Speaker 2: blocks from her house. Tired and probably emotionally shattered, Billy

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Speaker 2: let my dad yell, Billy, come on, let's go home,

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Speaker 2: and I swear to God. He climbed down the tree,

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Speaker 2: hopped onto my dad's finger like he was saying, all right,

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Speaker 2: I guess I'm tired, and rode home on his shoulders

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00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:08,200
Speaker 2: like he hadn't just caused absolute chaos. Why chase after him?

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Speaker 3: I would exactly let that bird go.

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Speaker 2: He'll come back.

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Speaker 3: Why are you trapping birds in a house?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all of it.

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Speaker 3: It's like me, our horse that we keep in the

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Speaker 3: front room. Leave it alone. It doesn't want to be

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Speaker 3: in there.

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00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,360
Speaker 2: Billy's Easter escape is still a family legend. Told it

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Speaker 2: every holiday and probably one of the most dramatic things

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Speaker 2: to ever happen in our little town. He was a loud, stubborn,

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Speaker 2: weird little guy and we loved him for it. Thanks

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00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,480
Speaker 2: for inspiring this trip down memory lane and for being

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Speaker 2: the badass voices in my ears through life, grief, healing,

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Speaker 2: and chaos, including bird related drama SSDGM. Forever warmly, Heather.

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Speaker 1: Heather, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be critical about

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Speaker 1: you and Billy. I know it's such a meaningful relationship

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Speaker 1: and it's forever. I just think it's like if that

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Speaker 1: bird got out and the bird wanted to come back.

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Speaker 3: It's like the old saying, like, m go glad, I'm

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Speaker 3: going to come back.

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Speaker 2: If they come back, it's meant to be.

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Speaker 3: Here's your bird forever. If not, you had trapped a.

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Speaker 2: Bird exactly, how do you feel about that?

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Speaker 1: You feel about this high Horse? Okay, let's wrap this out.

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Speaker 1: This female starts no subject line, obviously. Dear Karena Georgia,

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Speaker 1: High Ladies, longtime listener, first time writer. Please be gentle.

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00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,960
Speaker 1: I promise the story makes more sense once the pub

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00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,959
Speaker 1: gets involved. My name's Charlotte. I'm twenty six. I come

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00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,639
Speaker 1: from a family so large it feels like a clerical error.

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Speaker 1: My dad is the youngest of eleven children, and every

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Speaker 1: single one of his siblings went on.

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Speaker 3: To have at least four kids each.

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Speaker 1: Because apparently no one in my family has ever heard

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Speaker 1: of hobbies, I'm one of five, the only girl with

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Speaker 1: four brothers, and because God has a sense of humor,

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Speaker 1: I'm also the middle.

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Speaker 3: Child of triplets.

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Speaker 1: I was raised feral, loud, and extremely skilled at you

351
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 1: guessed it sarcasm, I added, the you guest in one in.

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Speaker 1: I live in a stereotypical English village, cobblestones, hedges trimmed

353
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Speaker 1: within an inch of their lives, and neighbors who would

354
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Speaker 1: absolutely notice if you moved a garden dome. It's the

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00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 1: kind of place that feels like something terrible should have

356
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,439
Speaker 1: happened in a Victorian novel, but instead it's just quiet

357
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 1: judgment and church fetes that feel vaguely threatening. When my

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00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: youngest brother was born, the youngest grandchild of this already

359
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 1: out of control family, everybody wanted to be there for

360
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 1: his first Christmas. He was born in January, so by

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00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,680
Speaker 1: the time December world around he had somewhat developed a personality,

362
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 1: which apparently made him extremely exciting. Naturally, this caused arguments

363
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 1: who would host, who would attend, etc. To avoid the

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00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 1: inevitable chaos, my parents made an executive decision. They packed

365
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,680
Speaker 1: up the seven of us, five kids, two adults, plus

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00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,439
Speaker 1: our dog and took us to Wales, specifically to a

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Speaker 1: little lodge complex where to this day they have no

368
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 1: idea how they found with nothing but country sidewalks, one pub,

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Speaker 1: a community swimming pool, and absolutely no phone service.

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00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 3: A bold move.

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Speaker 1: I was only three at the time, so I don't

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Speaker 1: remember that first Christmas, but we must have had a

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Speaker 1: wonderful time, because we went back the next year and

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Speaker 1: the year after that, and then for that summer, and

375
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,120
Speaker 1: then for Easter, and then basically for every available holiday slot.

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00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: Somewhere along the way we started inviting extended family and

377
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,359
Speaker 1: then friends. Before we knew it, we had essentially taken

378
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,200
Speaker 1: over the place. If you were there during school holidays,

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00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: odds were you were either related to us or accidentally

380
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 1: adopted for the week. Okay, so one Easter I must

381
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 1: have been about seven. The complex had planned an Easter

382
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,959
Speaker 1: egg hunt for all the kids. It was canceled last minute.

383
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 1: Dozens of feral children now on the brink of mutiny,

384
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,359
Speaker 1: so the women of the family took charge. They marched

385
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,919
Speaker 1: us all off to the swimming pool. Because nothing calms

386
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 1: a group of disappointed children like chlorine and hypothermia. They

387
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 1: left the men of the family in charge of creating

388
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 1: a quick and easy.

389
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,959
Speaker 3: Easter egg hunt. This was their first mistake.

390
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,880
Speaker 1: Their second mistake was forgetting that these men had spent

391
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 1: most of the day in the pub. Oh dear, Three

392
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 1: hours later, we returned, dripping wet, wildly excited to what

393
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 1: can only be described as the most unhinged Easter egg

394
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 1: hunt ever conceived. The clues made no sense. When they

395
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,680
Speaker 1: did make sense, they were clearly written for people over

396
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 1: the age of fifty, and that was only when the

397
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,879
Speaker 1: clues actually matched. Eggs had been hidden in places that

398
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 1: required upper body strength, adult height, or a complete disregard

399
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: for child safety. There was no logical route, There was

400
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 1: no mercy. My older cousin, who was about twelve at

401
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 1: the time, took control. She rounded up all the drunken

402
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 1: men in our family and reorganized the whole thing, and

403
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,640
Speaker 1: then made them complete the hunt themselves. Yes, and then

404
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 1: it says she's a teacher. Now obviously, it says every

405
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 1: clue was rewritten. Every single ridiculous hiding place their beer

406
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: sog brains had found hilarious was included. They had to climb,

407
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 1: they had to crawl, they had to boost each other

408
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: into small gaps. Children were hauled around like assistance equipment.

409
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: Dignity was lost, chaos reigned. In the end, the Easter

410
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 1: egg Hunt was a success, even if it was mostly

411
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,880
Speaker 1: middle aged men apologizing to their children while actively encouraging

412
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: them into questionable spaces, and it was the best day ever.

413
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 1: Large complex itself is nothing special, but it is without

414
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 1: question one of the most important places in the world

415
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 1: to me. It holds decades of noise, laughter, chaos, and

416
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: family mythology. We still all go back at least once

417
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: a year over Christmas. I've had to explain to past

418
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 1: boyfriends that my Welsh Christmas is non negotiable, even though

419
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 1: I don't have a single Welsh bone in my body.

420
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: Stay sexy and don't let drunken men plan anything or

421
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: maybe do Charlotte.

422
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that just fucking chaotic uncles everywhere,

423
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 2: just drunk chaotic uncles is like such a good vibe.

424
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.

425
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that was amazing. If we did it right,

426
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 2: yours in for next year, You guys, this is going

427
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 2: to be a tradition from now.

428
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, get ready for it.

429
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: If we would love to hear from somebody that was

430
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 1: raised half Jewish and half Catholic.

431
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 2: Right, tell us about your satyr fucking Easter egg hunt.

432
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, we must know. And until then, stay sexy, don't

433
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:57,959
Speaker 3: get murdered.

434
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 2: Good Bye, Bye Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

435
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.

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Speaker 2: Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer

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Speaker 2: is Tessa Hughes.

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Speaker 3: Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.

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Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.

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Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.

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Speaker 1: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple

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Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

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Speaker 1: And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and

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Speaker 1: the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can

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Speaker 1: support our show.

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Speaker 2: Goodbye,