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Speaker 1: From Media Doors World News Headquarters in Bozeman, Montana. This

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Speaker 1: is Kel's We can review with Ryan kel Kell in

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Speaker 1: now Here's kel Back. In the sixth grade, everyone in

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Speaker 1: my class had to write a poem about an animal.

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Speaker 1: To be perfectly honest, I can't remember the animal I

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Speaker 1: picked or what I said, but I can remember clearly

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Speaker 1: and even quote word for word a poem that one

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Speaker 1: of my classmates wrote, The sea is big, the sea

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Speaker 1: is sick, and in it holds a slippery dick. The

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Speaker 1: author of that particular stanza, a kid named Eric, was

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Speaker 1: promptly sent to the principal's office after reading his poem

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Speaker 1: allowed in class, which I thought was kind of out

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Speaker 1: a line. See, a slippery dick is an actual name

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Speaker 1: for an actual fish in Atlantic rass, to be specific,

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Speaker 1: which a group of us kids discovered while looking through

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Speaker 1: an encyclopedia of fish species. And it's not like you

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Speaker 1: volunteered to say a slippery dick in front of the

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Speaker 1: whole class. The teacher made all of us read poems

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Speaker 1: out loud. Eric was a pre pubescent literary genius as

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Speaker 1: far as I was concerned. I mean, I still remember

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Speaker 1: the poem almost thirty years later. Can't say the same

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Speaker 1: for most of the famous poems we read Phallic naming aside,

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Speaker 1: the slippery dick doesn't look anything like an uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: an actual member, but the same cannot be said for

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Speaker 1: Eurychus you know sinctus. A marine spoon worm also known

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Speaker 1: as the fat innkeeper worm or Chinese penis fish. That

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Speaker 1: last name pretty well describes what they look like, seven

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Speaker 1: inch long, cylindrical, fleshy sea worms. They get the name

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Speaker 1: innkeeper worm because they dig burrows and title sand and

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Speaker 1: mud fla outs of the Pacific, and are known to

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Speaker 1: willingly share their homes with other marine species like gobies

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Speaker 1: and p crabs. They also have an interesting method of

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Speaker 1: gathering food. Innkeeper worms build slime now as outside their

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Speaker 1: doorsteps that trap drifting detritus. When the net is full,

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Speaker 1: the worm consumes it whole, then builds another one. But

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Speaker 1: their life habits are not the reason that I'm covering

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Speaker 1: these critters today. Cool facts aside, These worms are mostly

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Speaker 1: obscure outside a small group of aquatic biologists, or at

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Speaker 1: least they were until just a little while ago, when

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Speaker 1: thousands of them washed up on California beaches, displaced by

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Speaker 1: a massive bomb cyclone. This event made national news because

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Speaker 1: of the worms striking resemblance to male genitalia. You can

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Speaker 1: imagine what piles and piles of these creatures washed up

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Speaker 1: on the sand might look like and why people may

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Speaker 1: take notice of that and photos and selfies. Similar mass

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Speaker 1: strandings of so called penis fish happened in two thousand

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Speaker 1: eleven and two thousand sixteen, always following a major weather

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Speaker 1: event tied to an el Neno year, when warmer than

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Speaker 1: average water temperatures contribute to large storms and heavy rainfall.

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Speaker 1: Biologists don't know how these strandings affect the overall population

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Speaker 1: of these creatures. They're reclusive underground dwelling makes them difficult

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Speaker 1: to quantify. We do know that they're an extremely old species,

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Speaker 1: dating back some three hundred million years, so they've probably

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Speaker 1: weathered their fair share of storms. Like I said, this

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Speaker 1: story captured the national imagination for obvious reasons. The site

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Speaker 1: of thousands of penis shaped worms washed up on beaches

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Speaker 1: tickles the same part of the brain that allowed me

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Speaker 1: to retain a perfect memory of that silly poem. I

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Speaker 1: started this segment with but one piece of information stuck out.

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Speaker 1: As I was researching this story. Google searches for penis

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Speaker 1: fish recipes skyrocketed during the week that these worms were

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Speaker 1: in the news cycle. Now I could understand these searches

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Speaker 1: if they were coming from California. I can imagine Californians thinking, Hey,

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Speaker 1: that's a lot of potential food washed up over there,

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Speaker 1: about to go to waste. Can I make it delicious?

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Speaker 1: But according to data from Google Trends, the majority of

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Speaker 1: these searches came from Colorado, Minnesota, South Carolina, Wisconsin, and Missus. Hurry,

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Speaker 1: why so many people in parts of the country nowhere

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Speaker 1: near the stranded worms we're searching for penis fish recipes

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Speaker 1: is simply beyond me. If you were one of the

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Speaker 1: people contributing to these search numbers, or just have a

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Speaker 1: rational explanation for this phenomenon, shoot me an email. Hey

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Speaker 1: s k cl at the meat eater dot com. I'm

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Speaker 1: genuinely curious. You know. If you can sort of muscle

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Speaker 1: your way past the gag flex, all kinds of food

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Speaker 1: possibilities open up. This week. We've got birds, giant birds,

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Speaker 1: bird migrations, birds wearing hats. It's bird bananas over here.

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Speaker 1: But first, let me tell you about my week A

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Speaker 1: couple of exciting things. My little steel chainsaw that I

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Speaker 1: like so much that I've been filling with canola oil

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Speaker 1: to do all manner of jobs. I had to get bigger.

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Speaker 1: One said he needed some bar length to cut holes

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Speaker 1: in the ice because I'm fixing to do some spearing.

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Speaker 1: That's dropping a weighted spear through uh six foot by

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Speaker 1: three foot rectangular square ice that you cut out and

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Speaker 1: they to just sit there real quiet under a tent

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Speaker 1: or shack sometimes and wait for big walley and pike

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Speaker 1: to come underneath you. That's my program, fixing a check

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Speaker 1: that out. Steel Power Equipment, as you know, is the

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Speaker 1: sponsor of Col's Weekend Review. This podcast is powered by

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Speaker 1: a steel so go check them out further. I'm heading

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Speaker 1: out to the Sacramento Delta to take a look firsthand

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Speaker 1: an issue that I covered way back in October of

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Speaker 1: Col's Weekend Review, talking about the dismal salmon returns and

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Speaker 1: the fate of the Delta. Smell friend of mine, who

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Speaker 1: is a rice farmer down there, reached out to me.

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Speaker 1: He wanted to enlighten me on a different tactic or

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Speaker 1: a change in ethos. Basically, there's not a lot of

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Speaker 1: water getting out to the ocean, and the water that

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Speaker 1: is getting out to the ocean happens to not be

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Speaker 1: carrying much life, much food. But the water that is

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Speaker 1: out in these rice fields, out in the delta, that

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Speaker 1: is not getting channeled through the canals, is picking up

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Speaker 1: a ton of food, food that can grow fish. So

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Speaker 1: I'm heading down to talk to these rice farmers, see

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Speaker 1: what they're talking about, and hopefully shoot some ducks. They

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Speaker 1: tell me, the California rice duck is the tastiest of

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Speaker 1: all ducks, and I'm looking for some big fat birds.

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Speaker 1: I of course, I'm gonna write up what I know

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Speaker 1: and get right back to you, and we'll see how

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Speaker 1: these stewards of the land are planning on helping out

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Speaker 1: the delta, smell, the California salmon, and their own way

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Speaker 1: of life. Moving on. Penguins are cute, cuddly and lovable, right.

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Speaker 1: They're one of those almost universally liked animals. But what

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Speaker 1: if I told you that they used to be as

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Speaker 1: big as a full grown human, would you still want

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Speaker 1: to hug one remains the newly described across valea why

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Speaker 1: parensus or monster penguin, were found on New Zealand South island.

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Speaker 1: It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just

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Speaker 1: walking around here. These giant aquatic birds grew over five

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Speaker 1: ft tall and weighed over a hundred and seventy pounds.

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Speaker 1: Strange is the thought of a monster penguin may sound.

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Speaker 1: New Zealand was once an epicenter for giant birds, like

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Speaker 1: the massive flightless moa that grew over ten feet tall,

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Speaker 1: the hass eagle, which had a wingspan nearly as tall

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Speaker 1: as the moa, and a massive ancient parrot affectionately known

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Speaker 1: as Squawkzilla. Due to a lack of predators, giant birds

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Speaker 1: were able to thrive in New Zealand back then. But

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Speaker 1: this was also a time period when penguins in general

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Speaker 1: enjoyed easy living across the southern seas. The same extinction

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Speaker 1: event that killed off the dinosaurs also got rid of

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Speaker 1: most of the large marine reptiles that once prowled those oceans,

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Speaker 1: allowing penguins free reign. Of course, that all changed when

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Speaker 1: to the whales and pinnapeds started spreading, but for a

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Speaker 1: few million years there penguins really ruled the roost in

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Speaker 1: the Southern hemisphere, so to speak, and it seems like

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Speaker 1: cross Valia why Parensis was once king of the penguins.

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Speaker 1: Modern penguin species may not grow to the same size

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Speaker 1: as their predecessors, but they're still vying for survival and

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Speaker 1: dominance and harsh conditions, and new research shows that some

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Speaker 1: are doing better than others. Chin strap penguins and gent

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Speaker 1: two penguins are close relatives who both live in the

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Speaker 1: Antarctic and feed primarily on krill. But over the past

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Speaker 1: four decades, chin strap numbers have cratered while gent twos

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Speaker 1: have exploded. So what's going on here? Well, the short

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Speaker 1: answer is adaptability to climate change. With water temperatures warming

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Speaker 1: and sea ice disappearing, krill are getting harder and harder

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Speaker 1: to come by. According to a team of researchers at

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Speaker 1: Louisiana State University who analyzed the chemistry of penguin feathers,

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Speaker 1: gent twos have figured out how to diversify their diets

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Speaker 1: to include fish and squid, while chin strap are still

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Speaker 1: stuck on vanishing krill. I think we'd all take a

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Speaker 1: lesson here about the importance of varied and flexible diet.

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Speaker 1: Man cannot live on heart ease alone, say Hearty's because

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Speaker 1: his buddy of mine in college. That's all I ate,

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Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, the only heartease in Missoula,

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Speaker 1: Montana closed down, and everybody got a phone call like midnight,

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Speaker 1: as if the sky had followings, like did you hear

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Speaker 1: It's like, no, dude, no we did not, because we

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Speaker 1: were all eating antelope stakes at my house. Sticking with

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Speaker 1: birds and climate change, another recently published study offers the

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Speaker 1: first empirical evidence on how shifting weather affects seasonal migration.

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Speaker 1: Three researchers with very different backgrounds collaborated to analyze twenty

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Speaker 1: four years of radar data from the National Oceanic and

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Speaker 1: Atmospheric Administration on nocturnal bird movements. Now I'm not really

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Speaker 1: a technology guy, but this study design strikes me as

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Speaker 1: pretty damn cool. The team used artificial intelligence to help

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Speaker 1: them comb through decades of radar data, a task that

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Speaker 1: used to require actual humans to differentiate bird flocks from

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Speaker 1: rainstorms on a case by case basis. New technology was

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Speaker 1: able to automate that process and also allowed the team

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Speaker 1: to crunch the numbers on this data set in forty

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Speaker 1: eight hours, a task that previously would have taken a

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Speaker 1: year at least. They found that birds are migrating earlier

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Speaker 1: today than they did two decades ago, at least in

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Speaker 1: the spring. For all you hunters out there looking for

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Speaker 1: emerging trends in early season waterfowl, sorry, the study shows

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Speaker 1: almost no change in fall migration patterns. Spring migrations tend

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Speaker 1: to be more condensed, pushed by the drive to reach

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Speaker 1: breeding grounds, find mating partners, and start making babies. I

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Speaker 1: can see the sense of that. Fall migrations, on the

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Speaker 1: other hand, are more spread out. Birds are in less

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Speaker 1: of a hurry to reach winter grounds without the drive

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Speaker 1: to mate. I think we all know how that goes.

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Speaker 1: A couple of weeks ago, I told you about a

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Speaker 1: plane ride I shared out of South Dakota with a

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Speaker 1: bunch of ranchers headed down to Las Vegas for the

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Speaker 1: National Finals rodeo. I'd like to think that one of

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Speaker 1: them had a hand in this next story. I've personally

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Speaker 1: spent a whole lot of time in Vegas, and although

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Speaker 1: it's got its high points, I'll admit that, much like Florida,

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Speaker 1: it acts as a kind of nucleus for strange behavior

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Speaker 1: and you know, good stories. Well, right around the time

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Speaker 1: of the National Finals Rodeo, Certain Vegas pigeons got a

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Speaker 1: little more stylish because someone started outfitting them in tiny

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Speaker 1: cowboy hats. On December five, guy by the name of

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Speaker 1: Bobby Lee posted the first video of a pigeon strutting

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Speaker 1: proudly in bright red brimmed headgear. In the background, you

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Speaker 1: can hear him exclaim quote the birds have hats on bro.

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Speaker 1: The video went viral, as the kids say, and since then,

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Speaker 1: several more videos have popped up on social media showing

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Speaker 1: that this pigeon isn't just a one off thing. The

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Speaker 1: New York Times interviewed Charles Walcott, a Cornell University ornithologist

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Speaker 1: who specializes in common pigeons. Walcott's take on the videos

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Speaker 1: was that the pigeons don't seem stressed and are exhibiting

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Speaker 1: normal pigeon like behavior, which is to say, strutting around,

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Speaker 1: packing gravel and discarded food and pooping all over the place.

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Speaker 1: The Avian milliner apparently took great care to make sure

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Speaker 1: the hats were well fitted and didn't cover the bird's eyes.

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Speaker 1: Walcott did also mentioned to the Times that the hats

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Speaker 1: might get in the way of seeing a hawk come

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Speaker 1: down from on top. As you all know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: a fan of messing with wildlife, anthropomorphizing them, dressing them up,

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Speaker 1: or making them cute, but even I have to admit

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Speaker 1: that this was pretty darn funny. Closing loop on our

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Speaker 1: birds segment, here, a Louisiana man who shot a critically

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Speaker 1: endangered whooping crane with a twenty two semi automatic rifall

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Speaker 1: last year in an attempt to quote scared away from

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Speaker 1: his crawfish farm, was sentenced to a hundred and twenty

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Speaker 1: hours of community service in two years of probation in

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Speaker 1: federal court. Oh my lord, that's a crane. Folks in

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Speaker 1: the avian conservation community are disappointed with this outcome, as

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Speaker 1: they were hoping that the judge would impose a stiffer

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Speaker 1: sentence on the crane shooter to set an example. Turns

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Speaker 1: out poaching whooping cranes is quite the problem in Louisiana.

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Speaker 1: Eleven birds have been shot since the flock was reintroduced

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Speaker 1: there in two thousand eleven. For some context, only forty

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Speaker 1: two cranes have been shot in the whole country since

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Speaker 1: they were listed as endangered in nineteen sixty seven. The

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Speaker 1: vast majority of these birds have not been shot by

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Speaker 1: people actively hunting it. Seems like most folks who poach

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Speaker 1: cranes do so because they considered the birds a nuisance

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Speaker 1: or see them as a threat to crops or livestock.

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Speaker 1: As was the case of this crawfish farmer. The shooter

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Speaker 1: probably didn't know he was taking out a critically endangered species.

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Speaker 1: He just saw a big gas bird picking away at

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Speaker 1: his crawfish stock and decided to take protective measures. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: for him and for the population at large, this particular

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Speaker 1: big gas bird was kind of a big gas deal.

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Speaker 1: That Crane and his mate produced the first pair of

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Speaker 1: wild whooping crane eggs in Louisiana since the birds were reintroduced,

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Speaker 1: and has been successfully doing so since two thousand fourteen.

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Speaker 1: My takeaway from this story is non new but still important.

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Speaker 1: Always make sure you know exactly what you're pointing your

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Speaker 1: weapon app and never pointed at something you don't intend

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Speaker 1: to kill. That's some basic hunter's ad for you, moving

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Speaker 1: on and moving away from big birds. For all of

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Speaker 1: you out there who assume big steaks grow big bodies,

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Speaker 1: think again, at least if your whale. A group of

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Speaker 1: whale researchers recently got together to ponder one of the

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Speaker 1: great questions of history. Blue whales are the largest creatures

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Speaker 1: to ever live on Earth, and yet they only eat

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Speaker 1: tiny invertebrates. How does that work? Turns out, filter feeders

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Speaker 1: get more cloric bang for the buck, so to speak,

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Speaker 1: than to the whales. Although filter feeders like blue whales,

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Speaker 1: humpback whales, and fin whales eat very small organisms like kill,

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Speaker 1: they are able to consume a whole lot of them

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Speaker 1: without expending a whole lot of energy. To the whales,

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Speaker 1: like killer whales or porpoises, on the other hand, chase

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Speaker 1: down fish and squid that individually make for much larger meals,

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Speaker 1: but they have to use echolocation to hunt each one individually,

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Speaker 1: which turns out to be less efficient. Interesting thing about krill,

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Speaker 1: particularly in the Southern Ocean, is that it's estimated that

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Speaker 1: krill alone have a biomass of three hundred and seventy

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Speaker 1: nine million, which makes them the species with the largest

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Speaker 1: total biomass. Although the whale by far and away outweighs

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Speaker 1: the individual krill, krill by far and away outweigh the whale.

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Speaker 1: All Right, that's all I got for you this week.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. If you're enjoying cow's we can review,

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Speaker 1: forget to write in and tell me what I got right,

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Speaker 1: what I missed, and what's happening in your neck of

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Speaker 1: the woods at ask cal. That's a s k C

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Speaker 1: A L. At the meat eater dot com. Talk to

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Speaker 1: you next week.