Speaker 1: The Nicki Gleiser Podcastni Glaser, here's Nikki. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's a Nicki Glazer podcast.
Speaker 1: How you feeling out there? Feeling pretty good here in
Speaker 1: Saint Louis. My mom isn't here today. That was fun yesterday.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed that podcast of just all Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift recap.
Speaker 2: I had to do it. Listen.
Speaker 1: I'm constantly holding back from saying way more stuff about
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, so let me indulge one episode.
Speaker 2: Not that anyone complained about it, And things.
Speaker 1: Are good here today, getting ready to go tomorrow to
Speaker 1: Tucson show and Tucson Thursday night.
Speaker 2: Noah will be there. She lives there, right.
Speaker 3: Noah, Yep, I'm gonna be there, available to you all day.
Speaker 3: You just tell me, you just told me. One.
Speaker 2: I have to do a photo shoot. Unfortunately.
Speaker 1: If the guy that's doing it is listening, just know
Speaker 1: that it's not ideal, but I'm doing it.
Speaker 4: Is this something you're doing under duress?
Speaker 2: Of course everything literally.
Speaker 4: Is this something you're doing undressed?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Under this I am doing undressed.
Speaker 1: He pitched an idea where I'm naked holding a paper
Speaker 1: and the paper says NICKI loses her virginity, and I'm
Speaker 1: going ooh, and I go not doing that.
Speaker 4: Oh my.
Speaker 1: He was like, my wife came up with it, and
Speaker 1: I was like, that's really sweet, and I understand the
Speaker 1: impetus for coming up with that idea. And the other
Speaker 1: one was like Nicky sleeps with one hundred and eighty
Speaker 1: two men, or it was something like and then I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be like, oh, like shocked. So we're still
Speaker 1: doing the newspaper idea, but we need a better headline
Speaker 1: of what I'm shocked at.
Speaker 4: But I gets pigeonholed repeatedly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: He was just like, you're gonna love this, and I
Speaker 2: was like, that's so sweet.
Speaker 1: I hate it. I absolutely hate it. It's everything I
Speaker 1: don't want to.
Speaker 5: Read Columbine book.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I wanted to say Trump dead, but
Speaker 2: Griffin thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I'm supposed to be going like, oh, like
Speaker 1: I'm over a great and Marilyn Monroe like surprise, Like
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be like a shocking headline Dewey defeats Truman.
Speaker 1: Wait isn't that the one that everyone I don't know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we'll see, but I'm doing that photo shoot because
Speaker 1: he has a book. I mean literally, if you want
Speaker 1: private time with me, just find a way to ask me.
Speaker 2: Just make a book.
Speaker 1: Uh that you're doing interviews with comedians for a book
Speaker 1: and you get a private time with me, because anyone
Speaker 1: who writes a book.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm doing this week, I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I did an interview yesterday for two and a half
Speaker 1: hours for a girl who's writing a book about kind
Speaker 1: of eating disorders. Said yes to that. She flew here
Speaker 1: from New York. She's a journalist who flew here, so
Speaker 1: that was very nice. She flew in and out in
Speaker 1: one day, so I mean yes. And then this guy
Speaker 1: is doing a book of you know, photographs, and he
Speaker 1: had like a good list of people he's photographed before.
Speaker 1: I don't know in what way it could have been
Speaker 1: from a distance. He could have been stalking them, but
Speaker 1: he said he did. So I go, okay, I'll join
Speaker 1: the ranks of people like Ali Wong and someone else.
Speaker 1: I think I saw Ali Wong's name, and I go, sure,
Speaker 1: I like beef.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: In Tucson or in then in Vegas, I'm doing an
Speaker 1: interview with a reputable director about Joan Rivers. So I
Speaker 1: got to study Joan Rivers and then they asked me today,
Speaker 1: do you want to talk about Ellen? And I was like, sure,
Speaker 1: I love Ellen, and they were like, you did a
Speaker 1: piece on her and the MTV Awards, and we want
Speaker 1: you to comment. I'm like, then I'm not doing it
Speaker 1: because I know the piece. I was just it was
Speaker 1: like an immemoriam we did, you know, like when I
Speaker 1: hosted those shows, and it was like all the things
Speaker 1: that had died, and it was like Ellen's reputation and
Speaker 1: it was like that was the year she came out
Speaker 1: as like people were saying she was mean. So you go,
Speaker 1: I'm not commenting on it. You can use that clip,
Speaker 1: but I will not be in the documentary with that
Speaker 1: clip because I like money. I like getting to work
Speaker 1: in this business. And despite what people may or may
Speaker 1: not say about Ellen, she's very beloved and I would
Speaker 1: definitely go to a party if I was invited to
Speaker 1: her house, and I would be friends with her, even
Speaker 1: though everything that precedes her, because I feel like she's
Speaker 1: nice to her friends and I want to be a friend.
Speaker 5: You can't burn bridges, you know, you gotta you gotta
Speaker 5: take it. You gotta take it when you can you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I mean it's it's decent, it's not
Speaker 1: you know, keeps the conversation going.
Speaker 5: You loved it back? Hey, what do you think about this?
Speaker 5: I just don't have I'm not going to comment on Allen.
Speaker 5: What am I gonna do? Yeah, you're not commenting on Ellen.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna be like, you know what, she's a
Speaker 5: dumpy hole or whatever. I'm gonna take the hard take here.
Speaker 2: And you have things you need. You don't.
Speaker 1: You nothing to lose, but you have you need to
Speaker 1: gain things, and we want to be able to.
Speaker 5: Get have the loss of potential, and that is invaluable
Speaker 5: because you have unlimited potential. They tell you. I don't
Speaker 5: believe it, but you say, they say you have unlimited potential.
Speaker 2: Really they say that.
Speaker 5: They say that you're like.
Speaker 1: The telling kids they can do anything. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know I've said, tell your kids you can do anything
Speaker 1: if you have hard work within limits. I mean, sorry,
Speaker 1: some people ain't gonna like, don't discourage kids if they
Speaker 1: like something like, let them do anything they like, even
Speaker 1: if they're bad.
Speaker 5: Right, Well for fun, Yeah, I mean people told me
Speaker 5: I could potentially play basketball and I was only five.
Speaker 5: I wound up being five eleven and a half. Not
Speaker 5: tall enough, not tall enough to be to play basketball, not.
Speaker 2: Even does a guy who's taller.
Speaker 1: I would have guessed six to two.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, his camera.
Speaker 4: I don't think of a man Brian in person. I
Speaker 4: didn't realize you were that tall.
Speaker 2: He put well, in my mind, he is, but he's
Speaker 2: five eleven and a half.
Speaker 5: Eleven and a half. Yeah, I never hit six than me.
Speaker 5: You know, I'm an average, I'm above average. I don't
Speaker 5: know what the average height of the mail is. I
Speaker 5: think it's five to eight.
Speaker 2: Actually, I think it is.
Speaker 1: If from Vietnamese men, I think they bring down average.
Speaker 1: So there's some you know in I think in Asia
Speaker 1: they bring it down.
Speaker 3: In the US, the average male height in twenty seventeen
Speaker 3: is five foot nine.
Speaker 5: Okay, some above average, but that's not enough to be
Speaker 5: a basketball player.
Speaker 1: The scientists are even lying about their results, like, let's
Speaker 1: pump this number up.
Speaker 2: This is just so discouraging. Okay, so practice nine.
Speaker 5: I practice basketball all my childhood, and I got good
Speaker 5: at shooting hoops, and no one told me that you
Speaker 5: have no chance at all of even getting a scholarship
Speaker 5: in college with this O care how many camps you
Speaker 5: go to.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, so what would you have preferred? Do you
Speaker 1: wish that you wouldn't have wasted all that time and
Speaker 1: you would have put it towards something that you could do, Like.
Speaker 5: I would have played piano. I would have They should
Speaker 5: have said, sit your ass down at the piano and
Speaker 5: play it as much as you play basketball.
Speaker 1: But you but let's go back to you being you
Speaker 1: loved basketball, you didn't love piano at the time. It
Speaker 1: would have you would have been bitching about your parents
Speaker 1: making you play piano. And I'm guessing you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: gotten in any camps for that either, or become a
Speaker 1: You know, you probably had as much potential with piano
Speaker 1: as you did basketball when in the real scheme of things,
Speaker 1: or maybe not.
Speaker 5: If I have a child, which I probably won't, I
Speaker 5: will lock them in a room and I will I
Speaker 5: will have them up to sit at a piano and
Speaker 5: learn Spanish until they come out proficious piano.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to play your songs.
Speaker 5: If they don't come out singing a Spanish song on
Speaker 5: the piano, I'm not gonna let them out of it.
Speaker 1: It is I mean, bilingual. You gotta go bilingual. I'm
Speaker 1: getting my kid, you know, Duo Lingo or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: That's the first app going on their iPad. And yeah,
Speaker 1: they're getting a Haitian nanny.
Speaker 2: Yes, they're going to learn Kreole.
Speaker 1: They're going to learn something some very rare French dialect
Speaker 1: of Creole that only five people speak. I want my kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta have a bilingual kid. There's nothing cooler than
Speaker 1: a bilingual person. Do you know that Anya knows Russian
Speaker 1: and that Noah knows what is it?
Speaker 4: Hebrew?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Hebrew?
Speaker 4: Hebrew?
Speaker 3: And I understand a Romanian?
Speaker 2: But Anya has a song in the hands Romanian.
Speaker 3: Anya has a song in Portuguese. So did you have
Speaker 3: to learn Portuguese for that?
Speaker 4: Did you do about better? Elfindomn that song?
Speaker 5: That song the Waters of March? Yeah, yeah, at the
Speaker 5: Waters of March. That's a great song. I love that song.
Speaker 5: I heard that song for the first time in Penn station.
Speaker 5: A man was playing in on a guitar, and I
Speaker 5: thought it was so beautiful. I walked up to him
Speaker 5: and I said, what's the name of that song? Said?
Speaker 5: I don't know what he said, I don't know, I
Speaker 5: don't know.
Speaker 1: You were really so proud of yourself for being like interested,
Speaker 1: and this guy finally gets to say what his song is,
Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm doing this man a favor and
Speaker 1: he's just bothered by you, like give me money.
Speaker 2: I don't want to tell you what this is.
Speaker 5: I gave him a dollar. I did. After that, he
Speaker 5: was so upset.
Speaker 1: Why is that song sound like it's being sung quietly
Speaker 1: through a door?
Speaker 2: Like why does everyone.
Speaker 4: Because like why shoudn't we all know?
Speaker 1: Is it written in a concentration camp? Like why does
Speaker 1: it have to be quiet? Like?
Speaker 2: Why what is that?
Speaker 4: I think it's just it's just there's another word in Portuguese, saudade,
Speaker 4: which is a really cool word. I think it means
Speaker 4: like happy, sad or like melancholy. But that's sort of
Speaker 4: the maybe the culture, the Portuguese culture or Brazilian culture.
Speaker 4: Are you just reminded me I had the weirdest deja
Speaker 4: vou just now that I don't even know is real.
Speaker 4: This is how I'm confused about my mind. As Brian
Speaker 4: was telling that story, I remembered meeting a guitar player,
Speaker 4: maybe not at Penn Station, but maybe at penns and
Speaker 4: he was and I was like, can you accompany me
Speaker 4: tonight on a show in New York City before I
Speaker 4: lived in New York and he played that song with me,
Speaker 4: and I swear to god I have his numbers still somewhere,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, did that happen or am I just
Speaker 4: inventing some weird memory? But I think it happened like
Speaker 4: fifteen years ago to.
Speaker 2: Play and he goes, I don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't know what.
Speaker 4: I think he was Portuguese.
Speaker 1: Did you feel really cool going up to a busker
Speaker 1: and being like, hey, join me tonight, Like I'm going
Speaker 1: to give this guy an opportunity. He's like homeless, and
Speaker 1: he's like, actually, I live in green Point and I
Speaker 1: do it quite well.
Speaker 4: And he wasn't homeless, but I remember he killed it
Speaker 4: and we stayed in touch. That's so weird. I don't
Speaker 4: know if I am Brian.
Speaker 2: But that's not DejaVu. Wait.
Speaker 1: Dejahvu is not when you remember something that happened before.
Speaker 1: Can I just pipe in with that? Dejehvu is when
Speaker 1: you witness something and you're like, I've seen this before
Speaker 1: in some weird way, and apparently it's like your brain
Speaker 1: just slowing down too much or speeding up and so
Speaker 1: you're rewitnessing the thing you are living right now, Like
Speaker 1: it's like your brain skips about.
Speaker 5: Oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker 2: Dejah vou is.
Speaker 1: Not when you what you just said right like, it's
Speaker 1: not remembering something.
Speaker 2: But you were just saying.
Speaker 4: An unlocked memory, which I'm not sure even happened.
Speaker 1: I gave deja vu to a kid last weekend.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, they were back.
Speaker 1: It's back, baby, and so I gave Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: the omicron version of David deja vu. And you don't
Speaker 1: lose your sense of smell, but and taste, but you
Speaker 1: do brain. Yeah, you get brain fog and then the
Speaker 1: memory comes up again. So I was walking, I was
Speaker 1: at one hundred thousand dollars Pyramid and filming that and okay,
Speaker 1: so in the room in our green room, we had
Speaker 1: like this gift bag and.
Speaker 2: It had the weirdest shit in it.
Speaker 1: It had like do rags in it from Snoop dog
Speaker 1: Snoop Dogg's brand of Doregs. Snoop Dogg has no affiliation
Speaker 1: with the show. Then it had dog toys. Snoop Dogg
Speaker 1: Dog Toys one is like a giant joint that's like
Speaker 1: a I have it right here.
Speaker 5: Oh, that's funny. I like the idea of giving a
Speaker 5: dog a giant joint and having a chew on it.
Speaker 5: I'm vamping the joints.
Speaker 1: It was just laying on the floor out there. Now
Speaker 1: it's probably like put away somewhere, that makes sense. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so it was like this giant joint and all these
Speaker 1: like then candles and then like Michael Strahan's like beauty
Speaker 1: products that he has like beard, you know, softeners or
Speaker 1: I don't know what he has, but I just I
Speaker 1: no offense. I left it there because I don't need
Speaker 1: any I get men's products a lot, and I have
Speaker 1: no men who like actually take care of their hair
Speaker 1: and need like gels in it. So but anyway, I
Speaker 1: was walking back to my setup or back to my
Speaker 1: room after hair and makeup, and one of the PA's
Speaker 1: was leading me and he was like can I get
Speaker 1: you anything? And I was like, do you have like
Speaker 1: a dog toy like that Snoop dogg themed?
Speaker 2: Like do you have like a giant stuff joint?
Speaker 1: And he was like what And I was like, just
Speaker 1: like a squeaker toy that's like a joint, or like
Speaker 1: do you have me like cool like you know neon
Speaker 1: do Rags.
Speaker 2: I just and he was so confused.
Speaker 1: And then but and then I immediately was like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're in the gift bag. Like I immediately like said
Speaker 1: the joke in case he didn't No. And by the way,
Speaker 1: Wayne Knight was the other guy on the show Newman,
Speaker 1: you know from Seinfeld, and he laughed because he was
Speaker 1: across the hallway and definitely had that same gift bag.
Speaker 2: He goes, what is with the do Rags? Why is
Speaker 2: Snoop Dogg's merchandise in this bag?
Speaker 1: And the guy like kept having a look of confusion
Speaker 1: even after I told him it's.
Speaker 2: Like that was a joke.
Speaker 1: And then he and I kind of looked back at
Speaker 1: him and he goes, I just had the weirdest stage
Speaker 1: of it. I go, you've had in the there's an
Speaker 1: unlocked thing in your brain where I asked you about
Speaker 1: this do rag Like it was so funny. But he
Speaker 1: just couldn't stop looking at me, kind of like he
Speaker 1: was like lost in it. He was like, I just
Speaker 1: can't get over this has happened before. And I was
Speaker 1: just like, all right, man, like shut my door. Second,
Speaker 1: guess that it was cool to like give someone day
Speaker 1: javoo because it means it just felt like it's like
Speaker 1: when you're in someone's dream, you know, you're like, oh sweet.
Speaker 4: I can't talk about the end of Beef because it'll
Speaker 4: be a spoiler. But there's a thing that happens there
Speaker 4: that happened to me when I was on mushrooms, the
Speaker 4: one and only time I've done mushrooms, which is like
Speaker 4: time tripping and being unaware of where you end and
Speaker 4: someone else begins, and it was so cool and I've
Speaker 4: never seen it illustrated in a way that made me go,
Speaker 4: that's exactly what has happened to me before when I
Speaker 4: was like out of my mind on mushrooms, when I.
Speaker 1: Was Yeah, it's hard to capture that cinematically, that like
Speaker 1: a drug experience, although I do feel like in The
Speaker 1: Worst Person in the World that movie, when she does
Speaker 1: mushrooms and like the weird shit that happens, I feel like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, the only time I've done mushrooms, the
Speaker 1: walls did start to move and things started to like
Speaker 1: clock started to look like Dolly, you know, like just
Speaker 1: melting things, and it was just starting. And then I
Speaker 1: got kicked out of the apartment I was tripping in
Speaker 1: and out stress of New York and I had to
Speaker 1: like kind of cognitively fight the mushrooms, which I believe
Speaker 1: you can do. Like you you might if you take
Speaker 1: so much, you just might be forced into a trip.
Speaker 1: But if you are like on the precipice of tripping
Speaker 1: and you're not in the right space, you can kind
Speaker 1: of like supersede it and go I'm not doing it,
Speaker 1: and like fight it because I've tripped before with a
Speaker 1: friend of mine who while she was we were both
Speaker 1: took enough to like trip and she was like, my
Speaker 1: tongue is like I'm a it's like I feel my
Speaker 1: tongue more than normal, and she was kind of she
Speaker 1: wasn't freaking out about it, but she kept talking about it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't let go, Like I'm
Speaker 1: too worried that she's gonna think she's going into some
Speaker 1: kind of like anaphylactic shock and I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: step in and be mom. And so I was like, sorry, trip,
Speaker 1: Like you can cry at the sunset, but we're not
Speaker 1: letting you go any further. Like that's all I cried
Speaker 1: at a sunset listening to a song. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, well, you gotta and then she was like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go home and feed my dogs. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're leaving me, and so then I it's not fun
Speaker 1: to trip alone. I don't think, but maybe it's spotter.
Speaker 5: I've never done shrooms, but I did it with I've
Speaker 5: smoked a lot of weed. And remember the first time
Speaker 5: I ever smoked. You remember that the first time.
Speaker 2: I ever tell us about your weed experience.
Speaker 5: So I'm pretty cool guy, I smoke marijuana.
Speaker 2: What's it like, dude?
Speaker 5: Yeah, So when you smoke, you get like, you like
Speaker 5: get really tired, and you start thinking about your uncle.
Speaker 5: I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding you do, so you.
Speaker 1: Do start thinking about like there's little moments of death
Speaker 1: creeping in.
Speaker 5: Oh god. Well, the first the first time I ever smoked,
Speaker 5: I hated it and I wanted to not be high anymore.
Speaker 5: And I was with my I was at I was
Speaker 5: at my friend's house in high school, and I just
Speaker 5: kept saying, how can I get rid of this? How
Speaker 5: can I? Like if I what if I jump in
Speaker 5: the pool? I kept saying, what if I jump in
Speaker 5: the pool? And my friend were like, You're just gonna
Speaker 5: be you were wet and high. If you jump in
Speaker 5: the pool. And I did jump in the pool and
Speaker 5: it didn't fix anything, and I just was It was
Speaker 5: a freak out the first time I were smoked, total
Speaker 5: freak out, and then I was wet in the pool.
Speaker 1: Bring on people's psychet, Like doctor aman am Ian Ahman,
Speaker 1: maybe he goes by, he's justin Bieber's doctor, but he's
Speaker 1: a brain doctor. He's fucking fascinating and has great stuff
Speaker 1: to share. But he says that, you know, teenagers that
Speaker 1: smoke weed have a higher incidence of like psychotic upbreaks,
Speaker 1: and it's like can bring on psychotic breaks. I mean,
Speaker 1: I have a friend who like became bipolar because of weed.
Speaker 1: So watched out out there. Yeah, so what do you do?
Speaker 1: What happens when you do weed?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Do we?
Speaker 5: I don't. I haven't smoked in a long time. The
Speaker 5: last time I smoked was the first Thanksgiving that I
Speaker 5: was actually in La. I was in La I just
Speaker 5: moved because I just moved here to work on Not Safe.
Speaker 5: And the way it worked was the show was was
Speaker 5: ramping up like the week after Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2: Right, so it's one last week and to get high.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and so I got it here to work, but
Speaker 5: I had to move to la So I got here
Speaker 5: like the week before Thanksgiving, so I couldn't go home
Speaker 5: just for Thanksgiving. I needed to be So I was
Speaker 5: alone in l A on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2: Your rat friend, Yeah, I didn't have any friends.
Speaker 5: Friend.
Speaker 4: Your ankle heeled at this point?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I was completely healed. So I, Uh, Jason
Speaker 5: signs a good comedian.
Speaker 2: Uh he fell through a window.
Speaker 5: He fell through a window.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, and he got He's like, he's like, he
Speaker 1: got very very interesting.
Speaker 2: He still wheelchair through a skylight.
Speaker 5: I remember that actually partially inspiring bands. He fell through
Speaker 5: a skylight with a girl he was dating, and they
Speaker 5: both fell together and they both got grievously injured, and
Speaker 5: now they're.
Speaker 2: Married a second.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is the worst meet cute ever, but also
Speaker 1: great story.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, let's find out what happened.
Speaker 1: To Brian when he got high before Thanksgiving, the week
Speaker 1: before work started on his brand new job, his first
Speaker 1: job in comedy.
Speaker 2: Right after this. All right, we're back.
Speaker 1: So Brian, it's before thanks it's during Thanksgiving, the week
Speaker 1: before you're starting a job. You have no friends except
Speaker 1: Jason Sciens, who later fell through a window grievously, and
Speaker 1: we wish him. We're not making fun of that. It's
Speaker 1: just the story that happened. Okay, tell us what happened
Speaker 1: with the weed.
Speaker 5: Well, Jason got me wheed. I was like, can I need?
Speaker 5: I need weed? He was like the only guy I
Speaker 5: knew in town and he was so nice. He got
Speaker 5: me weed. And then my whole plan was just so
Speaker 5: I wouldn't be sad and alone on Thanksgiving. Was I
Speaker 5: was going to get a bunch of snacks and food,
Speaker 5: smoke a lot of weed, and then watch the Bourne series,
Speaker 5: the Bourne movies all in a row.
Speaker 1: Wait, but you hadn't done weed since or had you
Speaker 1: experimented before with it? Since the weed jumping experience? Did
Speaker 1: you know what you were in for to smoke?
Speaker 5: I had smoked a ton of weed. I smoked almost
Speaker 5: every day in high school. I worked at at that deli.
Speaker 5: Remember that deli I worked.
Speaker 2: Where the guy hit you in the butt with a broom.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he shoved the brew of my butt and I'd
Speaker 5: smoke a joint and get and look at his porn stash.
Speaker 5: That was my childhood.
Speaker 2: Don't cut your.
Speaker 4: Hair, don't care, take care.
Speaker 5: Don't cut your hair, take care of brush your hair,
Speaker 5: ringed in my brain forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So so.
Speaker 5: I smoked weed all with it all the time, And.
Speaker 2: Why did you do that?
Speaker 1: Did it not give you sorry backtracking a little, but
Speaker 1: did it not give you that effect later on where
Speaker 1: you were like I hate this?
Speaker 5: You started to like it the very first time I
Speaker 5: had a freak out, and then I and then the
Speaker 5: second and third time, I got used to it, and
Speaker 5: then I started really enjoying it. And then I smoked
Speaker 5: weed every day works. Yeah, smoked weed every day. And
Speaker 5: I got stupid. I did the thing that all the
Speaker 5: parents told me was going to happen. Happen. I got stupid.
Speaker 5: And I could tell because I was taking the PSATs
Speaker 5: and then eventually the SATs and I wasn't smoking weed
Speaker 5: when I took the PSAT and I got a high score.
Speaker 5: And the second time I took the p SAT, I
Speaker 5: was smoking weed and I got a light.
Speaker 1: You were smoking weed in your life, or like you
Speaker 1: were high for the test.
Speaker 5: In my life, I was smoking every day and it
Speaker 5: was and it was the residual effect was carrying over,
Speaker 5: and my SAT score has kept going down and down
Speaker 5: even though I kept taking it. You're supposed to get
Speaker 5: better the more.
Speaker 2: You take instead of your tolerance levels.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Then I remember I was driving to the Delhi
Speaker 5: one day and I was at a red light and
Speaker 5: the light turned green and I didn't realize it turned green. Yes, yes,
Speaker 5: I just sat there until it went back to red
Speaker 5: and people were honking, and I got to stop smoking
Speaker 5: so much weak.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what happens to me.
Speaker 1: Whenever I start again and I start doing it regularly,
Speaker 1: there always reaches a point where I've told the story before,
Speaker 1: but I think I was the last time I like
Speaker 1: quit for a really long time.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 1: It was you know, I wasn't like it was just
Speaker 1: I was smoking a lot. Actually, it was just like
Speaker 1: what I needed to get through the day. It was
Speaker 1: just like at the time, what the crutch I needed
Speaker 1: to get through. Because weed, for me, gives me a
Speaker 1: burst of energy at first, like I do it. I'm
Speaker 1: crave it before I go for a run, before I
Speaker 1: go on stage. Like I think it's the creeping anxiety
Speaker 1: of feeling like I'm not gonna have the energy to
Speaker 1: do this thing. It's like instead of coffee, caffeine doesn't.
Speaker 1: Caffeine has the same effect weed does, but to a
Speaker 1: lesser degree.
Speaker 2: Weed just instantly.
Speaker 1: Coffee gotta wait like an hour or whatever, and then
Speaker 1: it keeps you up all night. Weed eventually puts you
Speaker 1: to sleep, like you get through it and then you
Speaker 1: get sleepy, probably an hour after for this is for me,
Speaker 1: but you do start to realize it does make you dumber.
Speaker 1: If I were a parent talking about being a parent,
Speaker 1: and if I were to be a parent, I would
Speaker 1: keep my kids' brains that are developing the fuck away
Speaker 1: from weed. They can smoke as much as they want
Speaker 1: when they become adults and they're past twenty five and
Speaker 1: their brains are fully formed. Yes, it will make them
Speaker 1: stupid after that, but at least their brain isn't not
Speaker 1: formed right like it's I think it's very detrimental for
Speaker 1: teens to smoke weed once in a while. Fine, Like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna turn a blind eye and be like, if
Speaker 1: you you kids do it here so I can watch
Speaker 1: it and have some. But yeah, I remember one time
Speaker 1: watching the Batchel I was filming The Bachelorette with my
Speaker 1: phone and I was trying to make a joke on
Speaker 1: my Instagram story and they used to be fifteen seconds.
Speaker 1: Member stories were fifteen seconds, And I said, if you
Speaker 1: can't think of something funny and fifteen seconds, no more
Speaker 1: weed for you, because this is a it's a timing issue.
Speaker 2: It's a quickness issue.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you said, lights will turn green and then
Speaker 1: you will go wait after there's like when you're on weed,
Speaker 1: there's a three second delay. If you're like constantly putting
Speaker 1: your brain through that every single and.
Speaker 5: You're going on stage, you can't wait fifteen seconds to
Speaker 5: come with funny no.
Speaker 1: And so that and I'm already a very quick person
Speaker 1: or fast person, so I can take a little bit
Speaker 1: of that and it like is I kind of it's
Speaker 1: fine and you can't notice it. But and sometimes weed,
Speaker 1: let me just say, does the opposite for me. It
Speaker 1: makes me really it makes me think it hits me
Speaker 1: in this perfect way that I've timed it right with
Speaker 1: the caffeine. It reminds me of actually John mulaney talking
Speaker 1: about balancing his adderall as xanax of that in this
Speaker 1: interview he did on Theo's podcast where he's like he
Speaker 1: has a perfect amount of like I have this much
Speaker 1: adderall and this much panx and it gets me to
Speaker 1: the perfect version of myself which used to be just
Speaker 1: myself before I was doing drugs, but now I have
Speaker 1: to do this perfect combination and yeah, so sometimes it's
Speaker 1: like magical and it unlocks this great part of my
Speaker 1: personality and everything's like firing. But it definitely that was
Speaker 1: the moment and I go, it clocked down to fifteen seconds,
Speaker 1: had nothing, and I go.
Speaker 2: I gotta stop.
Speaker 1: And then I stopped for months and then I, you know,
Speaker 1: fucking start again, because you know, I want to feel something.
Speaker 1: I want to like or I want to feel nothing,
Speaker 1: whichever it is. I you know, it's it just seems
Speaker 1: like why why wouldn't I? And then you kind of
Speaker 1: start to think of like what is I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: feel a little bit kooky ever again?
Speaker 2: Like the only thing that's gonna be me.
Speaker 1: Cookie is like if I have a like Annie, someone
Speaker 1: gets cookie from sugar because she's so sober, she'll have
Speaker 1: like a cookie and be like whoa like doing like
Speaker 1: doing twirls and like triple sow cows and like, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, how innocent is that? Like we're like Anya,
Speaker 1: like sugar is so it can make her get empty?
Speaker 2: But is that caffeine? Yes, dude, Okay.
Speaker 4: So I'm jealous of guys. Is a marijuana journey because
Speaker 4: my only setting on weed is just super hypochondria depressed.
Speaker 4: And then like major overeater, smoke through that like I
Speaker 4: ate an entire you do care like cake ones, yeah,
Speaker 4: like a ten inch cake. And then it was just
Speaker 4: like what's gonna happen? You guys? I was in the
Speaker 4: corner of a party, just like what's gonna happen in
Speaker 4: my life?
Speaker 2: Except that what it is?
Speaker 1: I mean, I really do feel like weed has helped
Speaker 1: me medicinally not want to fucking kill myself before.
Speaker 2: It's really like jolted me stuff.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, honestly, like I'll tell you, weed has definitely
Speaker 1: harmed my life in ways and like probably bad for
Speaker 1: my brain, like it decreases blood flow, it's bad for
Speaker 1: your brain. But sometimes it instantly zaps me out of
Speaker 1: literal like you know, suicidal depression.
Speaker 2: So I don't know really what to make of that.
Speaker 1: If anyone has any science behind that to support me
Speaker 1: or make me feel better about it, please send it
Speaker 1: my way.
Speaker 2: But okay, Brian, but it can help.
Speaker 5: You with pain too. It can help you with pain too.
Speaker 2: And pacological pain.
Speaker 5: Honestly, yes, there was a hilarious study though that just
Speaker 5: that came out last year that tested whether or not
Speaker 5: you get more creative when you smoke weed, and that's
Speaker 5: what it's. No people just think that they're more creative.
Speaker 5: They're like, I have this great idea, and it's like
Speaker 5: you're just high and you think that idea is good,
Speaker 5: and then you wake up and you look at your
Speaker 5: paper the next morning and you're like dogs, you can choose.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, can I just say this?
Speaker 1: I agree with that there's some times I write a
Speaker 1: brilliant joke on weed, but it's like probably the exception
Speaker 1: to it. But I will say that at least it
Speaker 1: gets me writing. It gets me excited about ideas, and
Speaker 1: that can turn into something because sometimes when I'm I'd
Speaker 1: rather be excited about dumb ideas and just have that
Speaker 1: feeling of like I like creating, I like writing things down.
Speaker 1: I like jotting things down and have it be trash
Speaker 1: because that can carry over. So I do think it
Speaker 1: makes you the quality is worse, but it's sometimes I
Speaker 1: just need to. I mean, Anya, we were even talking
Speaker 1: yesterday about you just wrote a song and it was
Speaker 1: hard for you at first because you were like I
Speaker 1: hate this, and you were like, I realized have to
Speaker 1: write four drafts. I just have to be ready to
Speaker 1: write a bad song. Yeah, four times, and then the
Speaker 1: fifth time it'll be good or somewhere around there.
Speaker 2: Like how true is that? Like I give up.
Speaker 1: So often on first try, and especially with songwriting. I'm like,
Speaker 1: if this doesn't if this sounds fucking cheesy and the lame,
Speaker 1: and like, oh, she's trying to write a song, I
Speaker 1: will abandon it right away. I am not because I've
Speaker 1: never gotten to the other side. So I have no
Speaker 1: idea what it's like to write a good song. But
Speaker 1: there's that's so true for the creative process of you
Speaker 1: have to be on you to be comfortable with being uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: Like you got to know that being uncomfortable equals you're
Speaker 1: onto something good.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Anne Lama said that she said, write a shitty
Speaker 4: first draft, and just that freed me up, Like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: the first draft is supposed to be shitty. It's the
Speaker 4: perfectionism that will kill you. Truly successful people embrace failure
Speaker 4: and they see it as part of the process and
Speaker 4: that it's integral to part, like you cannot succeed unless
Speaker 4: you have like a few failures before that, So they
Speaker 4: welcome the failure and for me, like a failure is
Speaker 4: a shitty photoscraft.
Speaker 1: Yeah, failure is so Taylor Swift said it at the
Speaker 1: iHeart Awards that I went to. It was like, you
Speaker 1: don't see it, but I fail so often and we're like, no,
Speaker 1: we's seen something. No, like, actually we haven't. She she
Speaker 1: seems perfect. I mean everything she does there's never there's
Speaker 1: never a flaw that I see. But I know, oh,
Speaker 1: there's just no way she hasn't. And even you listen
Speaker 1: to her first album and you go, okay, this was
Speaker 1: she was thirteen at the time, so I think I'll
Speaker 1: cut her some slack. But you've seen her improve and
Speaker 1: you've seen you know it. I just I have to
Speaker 1: follow my own advice, I think, and be be okay
Speaker 1: with creating something shit. But it's so uncomfortable because to
Speaker 1: get any feedback you have to show someone, and you
Speaker 1: show someone your crap.
Speaker 2: I know that's embarrassing.
Speaker 4: Part. I'm writing this song with someone and he he's
Speaker 4: talented in an area where I have not that much experience.
Speaker 4: He makes movie trailers songs. So I have felt a
Speaker 4: little bit like I'm sure you guys have felt this
Speaker 4: way before. When you write like for a contract or
Speaker 4: for an ad or something, or for a different writer.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what do you think of this? And he's like,
Speaker 4: not really, not that, not that, but I like that,
Speaker 4: but I don't like that or that, or can you change?
Speaker 1: And it's just like, yeah, you've never had to realize.
Speaker 1: If you're writing for yourself, you're just like I don't
Speaker 1: like that. I like that, And it's not as hurtful so.
Speaker 5: Much harder you're writing for someone else because then you're
Speaker 5: just you're it's up to them, you know. It's like
Speaker 5: I'm going to write as much shit as I can,
Speaker 5: and like they choose what they're going to go with
Speaker 5: instead of me being responsible for what the right answer is.
Speaker 4: And that's the right attitude. Yeah, if I sometimes I
Speaker 4: lose the passion for it though, I'm like, what am
Speaker 4: I writing?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 4: I don't you know, like I want to get I
Speaker 4: want to write something I'm psyched about. But then I
Speaker 4: do and then the other person's like, Okay, this is
Speaker 4: about heartbreak and blah blah blah, we actually need to
Speaker 4: write something more open minded about hope. I'm like, hope
Speaker 4: I don't write about right, and so I have to
Speaker 4: kind of like change my tack and be like, how
Speaker 4: can I make this fun for myself?
Speaker 5: And then you know, then you smoke some weed. We
Speaker 5: and that's fun.
Speaker 2: But it worked out.
Speaker 4: When it all worked out.
Speaker 5: I got through. I smoked a bunch of weed. But
Speaker 5: the problem this is back to Thanksgiving. I you're gonna
Speaker 5: ask me what happened? Yeah, I okay. So I smoked
Speaker 5: a bowl and I packed this bowl tight. I don't
Speaker 5: know if that's how you say it, but I packed
Speaker 5: it real tight and I smoked. I packed it so tight,
Speaker 5: and then I smoked the whole thing and I did
Speaker 5: that stupid rookie move where I smoked a bunch and
Speaker 5: I said, I'm not high yet, and then I smoked.
Speaker 2: Some more edibles.
Speaker 1: You gotta wait like thirty seconds.
Speaker 2: That's what I broked the bowl.
Speaker 5: I held it up and I said, if I have
Speaker 5: fifteen seconds, if I'm not high in fifteen seconds.
Speaker 2: Smoking, do that. Yeah, and you, yeah, you did.
Speaker 5: I got blitzed out of my mind. I made pancakes.
Speaker 5: I made pumpkin pancakes and they weren't I made the
Speaker 5: pancakes and they weren't even the pan wasn't even on.
Speaker 5: So there was just like gooey batter in a pan,
Speaker 5: and I ate all these snacks. And I watched the
Speaker 5: Bourn movies and these are not complicated films. I could
Speaker 5: not follow them at all. Who is this man?
Speaker 2: She's stupid?
Speaker 5: Why is this guy punching this guy? I don't know
Speaker 5: what's happening? And then I will say this.
Speaker 1: Let comics describe their girlfriends who watch Born Identity movies
Speaker 1: as doing like the classic of like wait, who is
Speaker 1: that guy and why is he doing that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, enough, Okay. That's a whole nother thing is those
Speaker 5: types of questions during movies where it's like my least
Speaker 5: favorite question is when someone asks a question about a
Speaker 5: movie that the movie just hasn't told us yet.
Speaker 2: Right, yes, just watch it.
Speaker 5: I'm watching it with you.
Speaker 1: That's why I love watching stuff with Chris, because we
Speaker 1: keep the remote right between us, and I can feel
Speaker 1: when he's about to be like hold on, we got
Speaker 1: to talk about like his hand just goes over, and
Speaker 1: I get excited because then we get to pause it
Speaker 1: and like talk.
Speaker 2: About what just happened, what we think is going to
Speaker 2: happen next.
Speaker 1: We're always on the same page about I'll go It's
Speaker 1: always with Succession, I'll go, wait, what does it mean
Speaker 1: cash on credit?
Speaker 2: What does it mean cash stocks? Whatever?
Speaker 1: The fucking line is that. I'm like, and why are
Speaker 1: they trying to get Mattson to do that? And then
Speaker 1: he'll explain it to me. We theorize. Yesterday we watched
Speaker 1: Succession and John Mulaney's special and we pause so many
Speaker 1: different times to assess and like analyze and so fun.
Speaker 1: But yeah, and he and he puts up with my
Speaker 1: questions that are like, well they haven't told us that, Nikki, Like,
Speaker 1: he's very good about not getting frustrated, and I really
Speaker 1: appreciate that.
Speaker 2: But yes, you're right, it is annoying.
Speaker 5: Assessing and analyzing is fun, and it's so fun the
Speaker 5: right show shit talking.
Speaker 2: I get bored.
Speaker 1: I can't just steadily. I need to switch up my
Speaker 1: mediums in person, back to the screen, back to my phone,
Speaker 1: researching something on my phone, like I want I'm like tiktoking.
Speaker 1: I need it to like change. I can't just stare
Speaker 1: at a screen for an hour without any kind of like,
Speaker 1: you know, analysis. I like what that's what they do
Speaker 1: in sports. They take a break, They cut to those
Speaker 1: old men.
Speaker 5: That used to play football to sports yes, is the
Speaker 5: analysis sports. They give you a chance to just let
Speaker 5: it all settle and then you're your bro. It's gonna
Speaker 5: be like so what do you think? Is it gonna
Speaker 5: throw it or is it gonna is it gonna run?
Speaker 2: We need this in movies. We need intermissions.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they used to have intermissions in movies. They have
Speaker 5: the fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2: You can go out now because they're longer than ever.
Speaker 5: It should you. Well. The thing I wanted to say
Speaker 5: about the food is when I was eating and watching
Speaker 5: the Bourne movies, I ate all the snacks in the world.
Speaker 5: I got every snack in Trader Joe's. I got the
Speaker 5: Swedish fish I got. I got the bunch of Swedish.
Speaker 1: Fish pretzels filled with Swedish fish, like oh yeah.
Speaker 5: And the thing that tasted the best, without without question, okay,
Speaker 5: was an apple. Oh my god, an apple.
Speaker 1: It was an explosion of h I think apples are
Speaker 1: the greatest food because you're right, there is an explosion
Speaker 1: of juiciness.
Speaker 2: Is not too juicy.
Speaker 1: It's not like running down your hand and your wrist
Speaker 1: and like making your shirt alls sticky.
Speaker 2: It's just a crunch.
Speaker 1: She a succinct, encapsulated flavor burst, but it's it also
Speaker 1: is hydrating, yes, being too juicy, it's cool.
Speaker 4: Do you guys have this phenomenon when you were high
Speaker 4: that I had? Where I know, I keep going back
Speaker 4: to the overeating. I could not feel satiated. I mean
Speaker 4: I really did eat a whole cake and I was like,
Speaker 4: why am I not getting full? And I was asking
Speaker 4: everyone at this party like do you guys have that?
Speaker 4: I could not feel full? Do you?
Speaker 1: I think that's more an eating disorder than the weed, because.
Speaker 2: Because I think it makes food taste better.
Speaker 5: Maybe stimulates your apps. It stimulates your appetite. That's why
Speaker 5: if you're if you're if you have cancer or something
Speaker 5: like that, they might say smoke weed to get you
Speaker 5: to eat.
Speaker 1: It doesn't stimulate mine, thank fucking god. I mean I
Speaker 1: would stay far away from it if it did. But
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It doesn't curb, but it doesn't do anything.
Speaker 1: It just is like, Yeah, I don't I want to
Speaker 1: just like pick up a guitar and play music. I
Speaker 1: want to go for a run. I want to like
Speaker 1: work on a project. It on a completely.
Speaker 2: I don't want to sit and watch a movie. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: What I've done before is I go downstairs and I
Speaker 1: am walking on a treadmill and I hold the sides
Speaker 1: of the treadmill and I close my eyes. At what
Speaker 1: point in your life have you ever been walking with
Speaker 1: your eyes closed.
Speaker 2: It's fucking awesome. It's really fun.
Speaker 1: But you can do that on a treadmill because you
Speaker 1: know the pace, you know where you're not going, and
Speaker 1: it you're not gonna hit anything.
Speaker 2: And it's the only time.
Speaker 1: In life that you can ever walk with your eyes
Speaker 1: closed and you get to be kind of blind for
Speaker 1: a little bit and it's really.
Speaker 4: I want to do that in my car.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do it? Wait, hold on, I don't.
Speaker 5: I've done that before, walking without the treadmill, just to
Speaker 5: see what happens. And I well, I assess, like, okay,
Speaker 5: there's no like potholes or something. I could fall off
Speaker 5: a cliff. But then I do close my eyes and
Speaker 5: just start walking and see if I you know, out
Speaker 5: side like and yeah.
Speaker 1: One time, our friend Selina blindfolded herself when she moved
Speaker 1: to New York when she was like seventeen because she
Speaker 1: was like, I want to know what it's like to
Speaker 1: be blind, and she blindfolded herself on I think Houston Street,
Speaker 1: like in the Lower East Side, and was walking down
Speaker 1: in a busy street and she started on like a
Speaker 1: bike rack and was just along a fence like walking blindfolded, over.
Speaker 4: An hour, blindfolded, fifteen year old model.
Speaker 1: Yes, walking, And she really did it for a really
Speaker 1: long time. It was like, that is one story about
Speaker 1: her that I'm just like, she is so cool. Who
Speaker 1: would ever do that? But she wanted to just feel
Speaker 1: like what it was like to be blind. It was
Speaker 1: a very empathetic thing to do. So, Brian, I hear
Speaker 1: you have a story about a man in a shoe, which, honestly,
Speaker 1: when you told us about this, it sounded like a
Speaker 1: bedtime riddle.
Speaker 2: But yes, please be able.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, tell us what are we going to learn
Speaker 1: a lesson in this? Is there going to be there
Speaker 1: take a lesson? There is a takeaway? Yes, So I
Speaker 1: was playing.
Speaker 5: I was shooting hoops, which I you know now we
Speaker 5: know historically I do, and I had my basketball shoes
Speaker 5: on and I was I was done shooting hoops. I
Speaker 5: was walking back recent this is this has just happened
Speaker 5: a couple of days ago.
Speaker 2: Wait, when you're going to shoot hoops just by yourself?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What if you run into some people that are like
Speaker 1: playing a game, do you go like, hey, guys, can
Speaker 1: I Like? I never understand when guys just like will
Speaker 1: walk up like what you do? What if your skill
Speaker 1: levels don't match? Like what if you're white and they're
Speaker 1: like black guys that are really good and you walk
Speaker 1: like an idiot? Do you not care about looking like
Speaker 1: an idiot? I would just go, I guess I'm not
Speaker 1: playing basketball today because there's someone better playing.
Speaker 5: I go to a spot where that wouldn't happen, Like
Speaker 5: there's no one ever there and there was. I feel
Speaker 5: like I just get injured.
Speaker 1: So like, do you ever go into pick up games
Speaker 1: like Chris will just like I hear like and Andrew
Speaker 1: used to just go and just anyone who's playing, like,
Speaker 1: hey can I get in? And it's like I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: That is something I have no idea how I would
Speaker 1: never do that. I could never join people doing something
Speaker 1: that that they're skilled at that I might not be
Speaker 1: up to snuff, but it would never go jam with
Speaker 1: some go to like a jazz club and be like
Speaker 1: can I just jam with you? Guys?
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I would just mess everything up
Speaker 2: and they'd make fun of me.
Speaker 4: After my dad does that a lot. He's a trumpet player,
Speaker 4: and we'll go around in Mexico when we're there and
Speaker 4: he'll just like be like he'll have his trumpet out
Speaker 4: and be watching a band and sitting so they can
Speaker 4: see him, and then they like give him the nod
Speaker 4: right exactly, Okay, cool, I'm going and he's nervous. It's cute.
Speaker 4: I feel like guys have this in their male culture
Speaker 4: a lot. Like Sam Merrill will do this in New
Speaker 4: York a lot. He always talks about like just going
Speaker 4: to the basketball place. And then I'm like, aren't you nervous.
Speaker 4: He's like, no, people just invite you in on the game,
Speaker 4: and he's yeah.
Speaker 2: That's I want to know this culture.
Speaker 5: I don't understand it, dude culture. They just don't because
Speaker 5: you guys don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have friends. There's a risk of like
Speaker 1: I have to stay friends with these guys. It all
Speaker 1: stands a gay men like have sex. There's no like
Speaker 1: strings attached to They just have sex all the time.
Speaker 1: But the men are just like it's transactional. It's not
Speaker 1: like there has to be anything after this. So gay
Speaker 1: men like are having more sex than anyone because they're
Speaker 1: both agreeing like this is just a fleeting thing, no
Speaker 1: emotions involved, if we don't need it. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: all gay men are like this. Please don't think that
Speaker 1: I'm you know, blanket statementing. But I think for the
Speaker 1: most part, yeah, men don't create four bonds.
Speaker 2: It's like in and out basketball experience.
Speaker 5: Gay. Yeah, So I go to the basketball courts and
Speaker 5: I ask guys, do you want to fuck? And then
Speaker 5: we fuck and then I never see them again, and
Speaker 5: sometimes it's sad. But I think with dudes, it's like
Speaker 5: you wouldn't go up to any guys and be like,
Speaker 5: you want to hang out, you know, you want to
Speaker 5: be my friend, but you will go you want a ball,
Speaker 5: And I think that's the replacement where I don't know
Speaker 5: what women do, but I'm assuming that women.
Speaker 1: Would be more likely to do you feel confident about
Speaker 1: your skill because I guess maybe I need to talk
Speaker 1: to a guy that like likes basketball but feels he
Speaker 1: sucks the way I feel about, you know, guitar and singing,
Speaker 1: Like I love it just as much as anyone who
Speaker 1: probably plays for a living loves it, but I know
Speaker 1: I suck, so I would never try to get in
Speaker 1: on someone else's game.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean sucked. I would I wouldn't do.
Speaker 1: It unless they were my friends and they all understood
Speaker 1: that I knew I suck. Like sometimes I'll play, I'll
Speaker 1: sing and play with Anya, but I'm she knows that
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm better than her or Matt, like,
Speaker 1: but I just need everyone to know that I know
Speaker 1: I'm shit.
Speaker 2: And then but I feel like inherently walking up to
Speaker 2: me like can I play? Can I ball?
Speaker 1: Like they might go like, oh, this guy's probably good,
Speaker 1: and then you suck, Like do you have to watch
Speaker 1: them first?
Speaker 2: And kind of go like can I fit in here?
Speaker 5: I feel at least until you know, until I can't anymore.
Speaker 5: I feel like, right now I could go ball with
Speaker 5: most people who are just casually playing. Yeah, okay, if
Speaker 5: they're like what confidence if they're on West Fourth Street
Speaker 5: in New York City, there's a basketball court. You walk
Speaker 5: by the comedy seller all the time. That's that's that
Speaker 5: court right there. Those guys are too good. I mean,
Speaker 5: you can't play with them, Okay, just watch that's for
Speaker 5: that's for entertainment purposes. But for the most part, across
Speaker 5: the world, and you know even outside, you know, you
Speaker 5: can go up to any court and you could play
Speaker 5: ball and you don't have to be that good. And
Speaker 5: I feel like I.
Speaker 2: Try trying to ball my skill set.
Speaker 5: You should try the ball.
Speaker 2: I mean, do they ever say no?
Speaker 5: I was always looking for Actually it's happened before. There
Speaker 5: is a Comedians game every Saturday in La Yeah, where
Speaker 5: you uh, there's like literally like sixty people go to
Speaker 5: that game on Saturdays. And sometimes sometimes you get what
Speaker 5: happens that's sad. Is like sometimes you get like you're
Speaker 5: the worst one and you don't have to sit out,
Speaker 5: and then you're just there and you know you're so
Speaker 5: they picked teams and you know you don't get there.
Speaker 5: They do it usually it's with you line up and
Speaker 5: you shoot free throws and the last person they hit
Speaker 5: of free throws out and that's really sad. Yeah, but anyway,
Speaker 5: the old man in the shoe, I I was walking
Speaker 5: back from playing basketball and my shoe was untied.
Speaker 2: How long did you play for? I'm sorry to keep well, when.
Speaker 5: I'm shooting around by myself, I'll play for like thirty
Speaker 5: to forty minutes.
Speaker 1: Wow, and you're just shooting We like, are you meditative?
Speaker 1: And thinking about things like what is could you compare?
Speaker 2: Like is it ilaxing? I do my skill? Okay, you drill?
Speaker 5: I do my drills. I'll shoot, take a step back,
Speaker 5: shoot and then and then I'll just pretend like I'm
Speaker 5: a basketball player and I'll be like, oh, I'm you know,
Speaker 5: three seconds left and I'll do that okay, And that's
Speaker 5: pretty fun. And then sometimes maybe.
Speaker 1: People are watching you, and does that inspire you to
Speaker 1: be better? Like if someone spy, do you sometimes like
Speaker 1: get your act together a little bit, and depending on
Speaker 1: their race, you try even harder.
Speaker 5: It's so delusional. Sometimes someone will be walking by, like
Speaker 5: walk like with their and a stroller, and I'll be like,
Speaker 5: I better hit this shot to impress this.
Speaker 1: I do anything better if I think someone's watching. If
Speaker 1: I imagine, that's why I wanted a reality show. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I will just have a better life
Speaker 1: because I will always be yeah the security guard to
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift watching me dance, I realized, I'm I'm having
Speaker 1: some boot burst of energy too because this person is
Speaker 1: witnessing it. I need a witness, can I get.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Sometimes it's a squirrel. I'll be a squirrel running around
Speaker 5: like I better hit this before this.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, that's why practicing sucks because you don't have
Speaker 1: an audience and I don't. I don't like I have
Speaker 1: to pretend I have an audience in order to practice efficiently.
Speaker 4: I wish really, oh, I I would hate to practice
Speaker 4: in front of an audience. I love being alone and
Speaker 4: practicing alone, but like perform in front of an audience.
Speaker 4: I don't want people to see my process.
Speaker 1: Well, it's it's not fun for me to do anything
Speaker 1: that isn't getting me attention, right, I guess I guess
Speaker 1: I'm that's a narcissist thing, or maybe like it's not.
Speaker 2: It just doesn't.
Speaker 1: It's like what's the point And I do things by
Speaker 1: myself constantly, but I just feel I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I'm glad for it because it is what I realized
Speaker 1: when I was at the Taylor Show show of like
Speaker 1: how I I. It made me dance harder to see
Speaker 1: that the security guard might see me and like laugh
Speaker 1: at what I was doing. I realized, my whole life
Speaker 1: is inspired. But all I want to do is perform.
Speaker 1: That's like it life if even sex, like if I
Speaker 1: pretend like I mean, there's someone there usually watching me.
Speaker 1: But if masturbation, however, don't want anyone to see that.
Speaker 1: That is the only time where I go. I could
Speaker 1: sit this one out God, like, don't don't check in here.
Speaker 1: But everything else in my life performing is what is that?
Speaker 1: That's such a selfish and like, I just it's.
Speaker 2: The gross thing.
Speaker 5: There's a lack of shame because like, if you're practicing
Speaker 5: and you're not good, you, I would not want people
Speaker 5: to see me. But if you are, if you don't
Speaker 5: have that part of you, that's like, I don't care
Speaker 5: if people think I'm bad, then next.
Speaker 1: Well I practice guitar on Instagram Live sometimes and I
Speaker 1: am bad on there and I'm really fucking up. But
Speaker 1: I'm like these people are I'm not forcing them to
Speaker 1: stay here.
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 1: They can get they can go. So if you're watching this,
Speaker 1: that's your fault. If you're not entertained, or if you're
Speaker 1: like why is she doing this?
Speaker 2: This is so lame? What the fuck are you doing
Speaker 2: watching me? That's even more lame.
Speaker 4: What are you?
Speaker 1: At least I'm getting something out of this, you're fucking
Speaker 1: watching So unless people enjoy it, just leave. So it's
Speaker 1: if I was just just be like mom, dad, watch
Speaker 1: me practice which I've done before, or like, watch this
Speaker 1: song I'm working on. I feel terrible because I'm forcing them.
Speaker 1: They if they get up and walk away, I see them.
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing. That is a force situation. But you know
Speaker 1: when people are just voluntarily tuning in on an Instagram live,
Speaker 1: I don't mind if they see the process, and I
Speaker 1: feel like it's it's freeing to I think of it
Speaker 1: as like this is inspiring other people to be bad
Speaker 1: at things, and it's then it's okay to be bad.
Speaker 4: I think it makes you better too. I do think,
Speaker 4: for if a song in front of people and it's
Speaker 4: like the first time I've ever played it, if I look,
Speaker 4: no matter how well I do it that time, I
Speaker 4: always know that's the worst I'll ever play it. I'm
Speaker 4: definitely gonna be better the next time because I had
Speaker 4: to sell it a little bit and I had to
Speaker 4: remember it on the spot. So it is a skill
Speaker 4: set I think that you're developing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's practicing in front of an audience
Speaker 1: or like in some way that keeps you accountable is
Speaker 1: the best way to practice. I would think, uh, in
Speaker 1: just even imagining that someone's watching you or that you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to someone's gonna watch this back would be
Speaker 1: a good mindset, but what do I know, I'm not
Speaker 1: a or.
Speaker 5: You're gonna post it somewhere. I mean, how many times do.
Speaker 2: You to watch yourself later on?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, all that stuff. It's it's the same thing
Speaker 5: as like you're doing open mics and you do comedy
Speaker 5: in front of other comedians, and then you do comedy
Speaker 5: in a real uh, in front of a real audience,
Speaker 5: and it's like, man, you really need to practice if
Speaker 5: a real audience.
Speaker 2: Well, that's why I like.
Speaker 1: Comedy is because you are all. You can't practice without
Speaker 1: an audience. There's no way to do it in front
Speaker 1: of in front of a wall. You there's a part
Speaker 1: of John mulaney special where they're shooting him up close.
Speaker 1: You can tell because it's on a steady cam, which
Speaker 1: it means a man is holding it strapped to his
Speaker 1: back and he's moving right in front of John's face.
Speaker 1: That part of the show had no audience there, and
Speaker 1: you can tell. You can just tell. We watched it
Speaker 1: twice because I'm probably gonna do the same thing for
Speaker 1: my special because it's it's a great look. But comedians.
Speaker 1: If you don't have an audience there and you're pretending
Speaker 1: there's an audience there, something in your demeanor turns into
Speaker 1: a little bit actory, like there's just a little switch,
Speaker 1: no slight on John. That special, by the way, was
Speaker 1: fucking incredible. I loved every second of it, and this
Speaker 1: shot is worth it.
Speaker 2: But it's just the.
Speaker 1: Tiniest thing that you can notice. It's in the setup
Speaker 1: to you'll know the shot. It's it's very close up
Speaker 1: and it pans around him and and you can tell
Speaker 1: that there's just not an audio at least I can
Speaker 1: because maybe I'm used to doing it and if I
Speaker 1: were to tell my jokes to do audience, that's exactly
Speaker 1: how it would sound to me. And with a camera
Speaker 1: right in your face, which is never done stand up
Speaker 1: like that before.
Speaker 5: So yeah, no doubt the general population was not noticing that. Like,
Speaker 5: that's definitely your skill level and your experience.
Speaker 1: Also the general population, don't you guys sometimes go wow,
Speaker 1: that shot is really close.
Speaker 2: Obviously there was a cameraman right there.
Speaker 4: They have done that last night. We were like, why
Speaker 4: did he do that? That was weird. We loved the special,
Speaker 4: but both of us are like, hmm, I don't know
Speaker 4: about why that shot had to happen.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, we're gonna take a break and we're gonna
Speaker 1: come back and get the rest of the shoe an
Speaker 1: old man story. Let's talk about John Malaney's special and
Speaker 1: air pods. Oh yeah, and I have an update on
Speaker 1: the air pods situation Grace's air pods. So we will
Speaker 1: return right after this. Okay, Brian old Man the shoe.
Speaker 1: You're walking back from the basketball court.
Speaker 5: All right, my shoe is untied, but I'm so close
Speaker 5: to my apartment that I'm like, I'm just gonna let
Speaker 5: it be untied.
Speaker 2: I don't care if you're one of those guys. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: and this this are you watching it?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: When my shoe is untied, I'm terrified of tripping, Like
Speaker 2: I Andrew used to always have a shoe untied and
Speaker 2: just walk around.
Speaker 1: I'm like, aren't you worried You're gonna just take too
Speaker 1: short of a step, step on the shoelace and then
Speaker 1: trip Like but he would not be He wouldn't care.
Speaker 1: And I I envied that like kind of lack a
Speaker 1: day's ago approach to the shoelaces.
Speaker 5: That the risk I assessed the risk because I was
Speaker 5: close enough to my apartment flipped them. I couldn't have no.
Speaker 5: I mean, I knew I was close enough to my
Speaker 5: apartment that it really wasn't that big of a deal
Speaker 5: to have the shoe on tiede for like thirty five
Speaker 5: forty seconds. And it was annoying to bend over and
Speaker 5: tie it is there. And so this old man was
Speaker 5: walking in the other direction and and he saw I
Speaker 5: saw him see my untied shoelace, and I was like,
Speaker 5: oh god, there's.
Speaker 1: Nothing more an old man likes than a young man
Speaker 1: that his shoes are on tides. Because first of all,
Speaker 1: he's angry at you. Like in his day, damn, no
Speaker 1: one could walk around with shoes untied like that. Gener Yes,
Speaker 1: so he's gonna looks at me, smokes.
Speaker 5: Pot and I have headphones in.
Speaker 2: He looks at me, and you're out of tune with
Speaker 2: the world. You're at your phone.
Speaker 5: This guy, this guy is wringing his hands. He just
Speaker 5: wants to say something to me. He can't wait, and
Speaker 5: he goes, he he points down, he goes, he goes, look,
Speaker 5: he points down at my shoe And I don't look
Speaker 5: at first, and then he like he like goes he
Speaker 5: like waves his hand and points down the shoe that
Speaker 5: thing where he goes like take out your earphones. He's
Speaker 5: like acting like he's gonna save my life. And I
Speaker 5: just didn't want to tie it. And and then and
Speaker 5: then I walked past him. I ignore him. This guy
Speaker 5: taps me on the shoulder, taps. He taps me three times.
Speaker 5: And then I'm not going to ignore that, you know.
Speaker 5: He taps me on the shoulder. So I turn around,
Speaker 5: I take out my headphone, and he goes, your shoe
Speaker 5: is untied. And this is when this is the lesson
Speaker 5: I had a decision to make. An old version of
Speaker 5: me would be like, do I acquiesce to this old
Speaker 5: man and do I tie the shoe even though I
Speaker 5: don't want to tie it? Or do I do what
Speaker 5: I want to do? And an old me would have
Speaker 5: just tied the shoe and then had to have been like, oh,
Speaker 5: thank you so much for saving my life and have
Speaker 5: him telling me I didn't realize my shoe was untied. Instead,
Speaker 5: I go, I don't want to tie it, and I
Speaker 5: walk away.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think there's a happy medium where
Speaker 2: you go. My house is right there.
Speaker 5: I know. Thank you sir, I took out a gun
Speaker 5: and I said, get the.
Speaker 2: I don't want to tie it.
Speaker 5: I don't want to tie it.
Speaker 2: Man, I finkure it's the same guy.
Speaker 5: I feel so proud of myself because now I don't
Speaker 5: know that man. Shit. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well this, this to me reminds me a lot of
Speaker 2: when I I have a backpack that zips zip.
Speaker 1: The soule zipper. The main zipper, let's say, is half
Speaker 1: starts halfway up the backpack, right, so it doesn't go
Speaker 1: all the way down.
Speaker 2: There's no way that it's all gonna come spilling out.
Speaker 1: It's a half zip, right, So I often leave it
Speaker 1: unzipped because all I have in there is stuff that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to like dump my like I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do a cartwheel. So now that's gonna still
Speaker 1: out of my backpack as I walk from terminal to terminal.
Speaker 1: If you are a girl and want people to talk
Speaker 1: to you, leave your backpack unzipped.
Speaker 5: I could not.
Speaker 1: You cannot get from Terminal B to Terminal C for
Speaker 1: your connecting flight without at least five men stopping to
Speaker 1: tell you and save the day.
Speaker 2: If I don't care.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's a little pocket that's unzipped and people
Speaker 1: go by the way, and my noise canceling headphones that
Speaker 1: I stole from Grace by the way, I didn't. I
Speaker 1: have still have not worn them. They're still in my
Speaker 1: kitchen counter. I have to find a case for them
Speaker 1: to give them to tailor, but they are you can't
Speaker 1: hear fucking anything with those things. I bet there are
Speaker 1: at least one hundred people out there that think I'm
Speaker 1: the most rude woman because they either said hi, or
Speaker 1: asked a question or did something very egregious and I
Speaker 1: just walked right on by them because I.
Speaker 2: Can't hear anything with those nothing.
Speaker 1: Like someone could be screaming at you foot from your
Speaker 1: head and if you don't see them, you would not
Speaker 1: hear it.
Speaker 2: And so this is not your flight.
Speaker 1: Oh like that that one time when that happened, that
Speaker 1: was the worst day of my life. So yeah, same thing.
Speaker 2: So it's but the backpack thing.
Speaker 1: I know that there are listeners right now who are
Speaker 1: going yes, like and if you're someone who doesn't care
Speaker 1: about your zippers being zipped tight, everyone needs to save
Speaker 1: the day. It's like, stop it, just let me have
Speaker 1: an unzipped backpack. What do you think is gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And also everyone's so worried about everyone's stealing everything from
Speaker 1: them all the time. No one wants you're shitty things
Speaker 1: that are in your dumb back back.
Speaker 5: I bet your box of tissues.
Speaker 1: Well those were left. I did not steal them, like kidding.
Speaker 1: Here's another thing about that.
Speaker 2: I will I dare you. I dare you to try this.
Speaker 1: If you are someone who travels a lot in airport,
Speaker 1: don't and you get to your gate early, drop your
Speaker 1: bags and go to the fucking bathroom. Drop your bags
Speaker 1: and go get a bagel, Drop your bags and go
Speaker 1: take a walk around. You don't need to stay with
Speaker 1: your bags a gate.
Speaker 4: I just started doing this.
Speaker 2: Ever steal anything. Everyone in the airport has a ticket
Speaker 2: to go somewhere. They're not there to thieve.
Speaker 5: And puts a bomb in your bag.
Speaker 2: Also, it will.
Speaker 1: Blow up on the plane that you're in, So it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, you're dead, You're not gonna be prosecuted.
Speaker 2: Nothing ever happens.
Speaker 1: Ever, I don't care about any of the announcements that
Speaker 1: the woman saying, do not leave your bags unattended it.
Speaker 1: I have been doing this, and I'm not joking joking
Speaker 1: for ten years, every single time, and I fly twice
Speaker 1: a week at least for ten years. I will to
Speaker 1: the my gate, drop my guitar and my backpack and
Speaker 1: my purse. I don't even give a shit, go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom. Never once has anything ever been stolen from me.
Speaker 1: I'm begging for it to be stolen because all my
Speaker 1: zippers are unzipped.
Speaker 2: I'm like, all you gotta do is reach your hand
Speaker 2: and you don't even have to fumble around.
Speaker 5: With something I will.
Speaker 2: I would never ever happen. They will never confiscate your luggage.
Speaker 2: They will ever.
Speaker 5: I promise the thing you could tell me that would
Speaker 5: ever make me leave my bags alone in the air,
Speaker 5: But it's drilled into my brain. I'm not kidding. Announcer,
Speaker 5: how many times has she said it to me?
Speaker 3: Like go up to a bag after someone left it
Speaker 3: and confront the guy when he came back.
Speaker 1: It's happened to me in that bag must have been
Speaker 1: left for a while. It's listen, I'm not leaving. I'm
Speaker 1: leaving it, and I put it next to someone who's
Speaker 1: already sitting there, and everyone always look. I love doing
Speaker 1: it because people think I'm fucking crazy and they start
Speaker 1: worrying for me, and I'm just like, fuck you all
Speaker 1: for being a little worry warts, Like you're like losing
Speaker 1: an energy in your life by thinking every My mom's
Speaker 1: like this. She thinks everyone wants to steal everything from
Speaker 1: her all the time. If you get stuff stolen, they're
Speaker 1: gonna find a way to steal it. It's not because
Speaker 1: you left it there. Anytime I've left a laptop at
Speaker 1: a Starbucks, I've left a phone at a Starbucks, I'd
Speaker 1: left to air, I always get it back because I'm
Speaker 1: a lucky person and things work out for me. But also,
Speaker 1: and maybe the thing is if you so if a
Speaker 1: thief happens to come into the same Starbucks that you
Speaker 1: left a laptop, you're fucked. That's just bad luck. But
Speaker 1: most people don't thieve. They return things, unlike me with
Speaker 1: Grace's AirPods. But let me just say, wait, Anya, so
Speaker 1: you've tried this and now you do it because you
Speaker 1: see me do it every single time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I tried it the other day. I'm like, why
Speaker 4: am I lugging this fucking guitar every time I have
Speaker 4: to go to the bathroom. I was traveling all alone.
Speaker 4: Usually Matt watches my stuff for me. But I had
Speaker 4: a lot of stuff with me this one weekend. I
Speaker 4: think I was meeting up with you, NICKI had the merch.
Speaker 2: That stop asking people to watch your stuff too. You
Speaker 2: play hate if you leave something.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that's bad that you ask Matt
Speaker 1: because you're with him. But people who ask strangers to
Speaker 1: watch their stuff just leave it.
Speaker 2: They know you just say that.
Speaker 4: Terrorist is gonna pull that move.
Speaker 2: They'll use that move.
Speaker 5: What if a terrorist puts the drugs on your laptop
Speaker 5: while you're in the bathroom?
Speaker 4: What is this when you've been watching the identity too much?
Speaker 2: By the way, TSA has never caught anyone.
Speaker 1: Does everyone know that that the TSA that was instated
Speaker 1: in two thousand and one post nine to eleven has
Speaker 1: never once caught any terrorists that was going to do something,
Speaker 1: not once. The thousands and thousands of TSA agents that
Speaker 1: have been working for the past twenty one years have
Speaker 1: never caught one person.
Speaker 5: So it's all it's security theater. It's security theater, is exactly.
Speaker 5: The man went to shoe you remember the shoe bomber.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't catch him. They they was a guy through.
Speaker 5: They let him through. And a guy on the plane said,
Speaker 5: you're trying to light your shoe on fire, and the
Speaker 5: passenger stopped him.
Speaker 1: Exactly, they've never caught anyone. All they do is catch
Speaker 1: you with sham pooh bottles and they.
Speaker 2: Go do you want to finish this? And like what
Speaker 2: does that even mean?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Keep it? I just had a twenty one.
Speaker 1: Dollar bottle of It's just like it's so annoying, like
Speaker 1: you're already in trouble. They make you feel if you
Speaker 1: beep going through the thing, They're like, okay, step aside.
Speaker 1: It's like, I know, I'll step aside. You don't have
Speaker 1: to yell at me about it. And it's just they
Speaker 1: just have thank God for them because they are trying
Speaker 1: to keep a safe. They're just doing their jobs, and
Speaker 1: they are doing a job that is thankless. We all
Speaker 1: like kind of hate them, and so they're constantly dealing
Speaker 1: with people who are like disgruntled. So I have a
Speaker 1: lot of love for teas agents. But you've never done
Speaker 1: any You've literally never prevented anything. Can you imagine having
Speaker 1: a job where you've never done your job?
Speaker 5: Twenty from toothpaste on my feet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's so funny to me that we have
Speaker 1: this thing that has never once stopped anything for twenty
Speaker 1: one years pointless. But you know, one would say that
Speaker 1: the them being there prevents things, like people don't try
Speaker 1: things even because they're there. So yeah, so that that
Speaker 1: is something okay. So then, so what happened with headphones?
Speaker 1: I stayed at the same hotel, the Low's in Hollywood
Speaker 1: the other day and I was in the same lobby
Speaker 1: where I found Grace's air pods and I ordered Uber
Speaker 1: Eats to my hotel and I love this. I love
Speaker 1: the Lows. It's a great organization. It's whatever they're doing
Speaker 1: to train their employees, bravo. It's not too over the top.
Speaker 1: They're just helpful, nice, happier there. Even if you're not
Speaker 1: a customer, they're just happy. And they have a great
Speaker 1: spot where they leave the Uber eats. Usually every hotel's like,
Speaker 1: but you got food delivered. It's like, yeah, this has
Speaker 1: been around for ten years. Food delivery, like have a
Speaker 1: place for it at the They're always confused, Well, maybe
Speaker 1: they brought it up to your room. Maybe they never know.
Speaker 1: Low's has a table for them where it's like that's
Speaker 1: where the food goes. And yes, people could steal it.
Speaker 2: But do they know. I'm sure it's happened a couple times,
Speaker 2: but stop being like, we gotta go down right away.
Speaker 2: They might steal their food.
Speaker 1: No one wants to steal your food. Stop everyone's so
Speaker 1: paranoid about things being stolen from them. I think this
Speaker 1: is an American thing because I just don't think stealing
Speaker 1: pickpockets happened, like if you go to Europe.
Speaker 2: But that's they're stealing off of your body.
Speaker 1: These aren't people like people aren't just waiting for you
Speaker 1: to leave your laptop and go to the bathroom to
Speaker 1: steal your laptop. I know I'm gonna get tons of
Speaker 1: messages being like, actually my laptop did get stolen.
Speaker 5: Someone threw brick through my car window and stall five
Speaker 5: thousand dollars worth them's look, listen.
Speaker 2: To what they did.
Speaker 1: They stole, They threw a brick through your window. That
Speaker 1: person was did something crazy. There's nothing you could have done,
Speaker 1: so stop trying to have control over it.
Speaker 2: I guess is what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: I could have taken my stuff with me. That's the
Speaker 5: that's the difference.
Speaker 1: I could think about all the times you would have
Speaker 1: to take your stuff with you to everywhere you go
Speaker 1: because you're so scared of it getting still, it's such
Speaker 1: a fucking hassle. I would rather pay eleven hundred dollars
Speaker 1: in a laptop then for the rest of my life
Speaker 1: lug everything with me and check doors constantly. Think about
Speaker 1: what time everyone wastes their life.
Speaker 2: Of checking oh when I locked that door.
Speaker 1: People are constantly going around to each door and like
Speaker 1: after they've locked it and like checking it. And I'm
Speaker 1: always like, whenever I see that person, I go, what
Speaker 1: what a life this person must like? They they lock
Speaker 1: the door, then they check the lock, then they go.
Speaker 1: And I know some of that's OCD and that is
Speaker 1: beyond your control, and that's a whole different thing. But
Speaker 1: I just wish everyone would kind of just calm down
Speaker 1: a little bit about stuff. But I also just that's
Speaker 1: my personality, is like, why is everyone so nervous about
Speaker 1: things all the time? And I am therefore nervous about
Speaker 1: people being nervous about things. So I'm doing the same thing.
Speaker 5: So I walk my dog three times a day and
Speaker 5: I don't lock my door anytime I leave to walk him.
Speaker 5: I don't even think my keys.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's how the night docker gets in Yeah.
Speaker 3: That is old man's coming back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I sometimes don't.
Speaker 1: I started locking my door because Chris like painted some
Speaker 1: kind of scenario that could happen, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, that doesn't sound I don't want to be
Speaker 1: raped today, so i've every day I just go I
Speaker 1: don't feel like getting rape today, so I just give
Speaker 1: it all a good locker room. But so anyway, I
Speaker 1: ordered Uber Eats and I get I'm at the I'm
Speaker 1: doing some sets, and so I ordered it to perfectly
Speaker 1: arrive like right before I get there, and I walk in,
Speaker 1: no food, and it said it had delivered and it
Speaker 1: sent me a picture of it, but then the picture
Speaker 1: I couldn't pull up. So I'm at the front desk
Speaker 1: and I'm like and they're like, it's over there, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not over there on your perfect little
Speaker 1: s Uber Eats table and I was like, thank you
Speaker 1: for that table, but it's not there, and they are
Speaker 1: so concerned and they're like, well, they don't bring it
Speaker 1: up to the room.
Speaker 2: We don't allow them up to the room because this,
Speaker 2: And I was like, it's okay.
Speaker 1: I actually ordered from two places because I wanted like
Speaker 1: a lot to choose from So I get a dinner tonight.
Speaker 2: It's on it's gonna be here in five minutes.
Speaker 1: So that food arrives and as I'm sitting there, I'm like,
Speaker 1: fucking Grace, man, Like, this is karma coming back, like
Speaker 1: I ordered. Let's be honest, it wasn't air pods, but
Speaker 1: it was a lot of food. And I was like,
Speaker 1: in the same lobby that I stole Grace's headphones. It
Speaker 1: all came back around. Karma does happen. It does come
Speaker 1: back around. But then I went up to my hotel
Speaker 1: room and it was sitting in front of my door.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, Grace. I really did have this moment of like,
Speaker 1: I'm glad that someone stole my food, Like that makes
Speaker 1: sense to happen in this scenario.
Speaker 2: I deserve that.
Speaker 4: Wait, so if Grace searches for you, now, like if
Speaker 4: you were in LA and Grace was in LA and
Speaker 4: she's like searching for her headphones, would she see they're
Speaker 4: back in LA and would you have build Upah?
Speaker 1: But I would never have them with me because I
Speaker 1: don't use them. They're like there, they caused me too much.
Speaker 1: And I already have two pairs of my air pods,
Speaker 1: which is the greatest thing to do for yourself because
Speaker 1: they're always one in the case that are charging, and
Speaker 1: when you're die, if they're just ready to go and
Speaker 1: then you can charge the other.
Speaker 2: It's just the best plan. You can never go without AirPods.
Speaker 1: But no, I already final thought, Grace is not not
Speaker 1: able to track them because they're dead on my counter
Speaker 1: right now, and I'm waiting for to find a case
Speaker 1: or like get a case and then I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: them in them and give it to Taylor because she
Speaker 1: doesn't have a problem owning things that are hot. But
Speaker 1: I did put on my Instagram story, I posted the
Speaker 1: clip of me talking about Grace's headphones and I said, Grace,
Speaker 1: if you're out there, I will ship them to you.
Speaker 5: Oh, she has not heard this, has she vanished? I
Speaker 5: mean she if she she was on on a toilet
Speaker 5: and then ther AirPods just on the ground.
Speaker 2: That is the weirdest thing I have.
Speaker 1: I think Grace was actually in possession of two AirPods,
Speaker 1: because I think when your air pods are in and
Speaker 1: you drop your other AirPods, you're not hearing them hit
Speaker 1: the ground because your your noise is canceled.
Speaker 2: So she did not hear that.
Speaker 1: She's someone that also has two pairs of air pods,
Speaker 1: because she had some in and didn't hear them hit
Speaker 1: the ground. You wouldn't hear a piano crash from four
Speaker 1: stories in front of you when you have your AirPods
Speaker 1: in with the noise cancelation mode, So she definitely didn't
Speaker 1: hear them scatter on the floor.
Speaker 2: And here's the case. Where was the case? I checked
Speaker 2: for it?
Speaker 1: Everywhere they were, they were dropped as if they were
Speaker 1: dropped from a case. They were like one was over there,
Speaker 1: one was over here, and there's what little cases I
Speaker 1: have it?
Speaker 3: Okay, Grace was using the stall. She had her purse
Speaker 3: and she didn't care about her zippers being zipped all
Speaker 3: the way tilted as she was squatting.
Speaker 2: Where's the case? Noah, where's the fucking.
Speaker 4: In her blazer pocket? I know this because I accidentally
Speaker 4: dropped an iPhone out of a cool oversized blazer into
Speaker 4: the toilet because I was squatting over the toilet, not
Speaker 4: sitting on it, and I just heard plunk, and there
Speaker 4: was my phone in the toilet.
Speaker 2: But why would the the AirPods be out of the case.
Speaker 2: Here's what I do?
Speaker 3: She figured up them in and just took them out
Speaker 3: just to use the bathroom or something.
Speaker 1: But then she would know they were out of her ear,
Speaker 1: and then she would hear them hit the ground, is
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. They were on the ground right in
Speaker 1: front of the bathroom stall, and the bathroom stall shut
Speaker 1: all the way, like all the way to the ground,
Speaker 1: Like these are maybe below so this is a nice bathroom.
Speaker 1: Maybe they hit the ground as the shower stall as
Speaker 1: the bathroom stall door was closing.
Speaker 5: Oh why, maybe she was puking and so she was
Speaker 5: on her knees and so they didn't fall.
Speaker 1: They just slid out on because it goes all the
Speaker 1: way to the ground. No, it goes all the way
Speaker 1: to the ground, and they were outside the stall. The
Speaker 1: door goes all the way.
Speaker 5: Took the pods out and put them on the ground
Speaker 5: so that somebody would find them and feel bad.
Speaker 2: Maybe you can have her content for their podcast they want.
Speaker 5: She did this for us, well, say people who for
Speaker 5: people who feel bad about Grace though, is that this
Speaker 5: is a pretty nice hotel. It's not like you took
Speaker 5: these off the ground with like a holiday and express
Speaker 5: or something. So she's probably fine.
Speaker 2: And her name's Grace. That is some fucking that's an
Speaker 2: expensive name.
Speaker 1: It is it is, that's a name where your daddy's
Speaker 1: rich and he got you this air and and I'm
Speaker 1: guaranteeing you she already had another pair in because you
Speaker 1: would have heard it. So I think she's a two
Speaker 1: AirPod lady anyway, and she deserves to listen returning them
Speaker 1: to the front desk. I'm guaranteeing you the person at
Speaker 1: the front desk would have just taken them and like
Speaker 1: and it would she wouldn't have come back for them.
Speaker 1: And also, here's what happened. Sometimes when you drop your AirPods,
Speaker 1: they spill out of the case and then the case
Speaker 1: closes and then you see the case and you think
Speaker 1: they're still in there.
Speaker 2: That is probably what happened. So case closed on the
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, So this weekend, I'm going to Tucson Tomorrow I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do a photo shoot with a newspaper naked, Oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 5: And then you're gonna be gasping in front of a
Speaker 5: tragic event on the newspaper.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the Hindenburg, Like what could be like something
Speaker 1: that I would be hilarious if she eats Jlo admits
Speaker 1: plastic surgery. Like, what's something that I would be shocked by?
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift?
Speaker 2: I mean the uh.
Speaker 1: Uh asks Nikki Glazer to become a backup singer on
Speaker 1: er What about? Oh yeah, ozempic. I don't know my ozempic. Like, man,
Speaker 1: everyone be on that ship man, And now there's other
Speaker 1: companies making the same thing. Everyone's gonna be thin now
Speaker 1: everyone get ready?
Speaker 4: Just wait for thin and bruised in the abdomen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I would take it. Who cares about
Speaker 1: being bruised in the abdomen if you can be thin?
Speaker 5: Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And like people would shoot themselves. People would shoot themselves
Speaker 1: in the head to mab athin body. They would literally
Speaker 1: blow a hole in their head to Abathan. People would
Speaker 1: do anything. Think of what people do to be thin.
Speaker 1: They a little little shot in your stomach, that's nothing,
Speaker 1: and you just but I the problem with ozempic is
Speaker 1: it curbs your appetite.
Speaker 2: Don't fat people like to eat?
Speaker 1: Like, don't you if someone told you you were going
Speaker 1: to lose the desire to hug your children? Wouldn't that
Speaker 1: kind of bum you out? Like this thing you like doing,
Speaker 1: wouldn't you be sad that you lose it. Like, that's
Speaker 1: why I don't like add meds is because they make
Speaker 1: me lose my appetite. And yeah, I'll lose some weight,
Speaker 1: but I also will not have any desired this thing
Speaker 1: I once loved to do.
Speaker 5: But if you desire to hug your children so much
Speaker 5: that it's like affecting their lives and like you, they're
Speaker 5: you're on top of them, they can't eat, I mean,
Speaker 5: then you probably too hard, squeeze them too hard.
Speaker 2: They start to disassociate.
Speaker 5: They get bruises on their abdomen because you hug them
Speaker 5: so hard. Yeah, wouldn't you then want to take a
Speaker 5: pill to maybe hug a little less?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I think that, But I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: As someone who used to starve myself to be thin,
Speaker 1: I have no interest in not liking food. It just
Speaker 1: would it bums me out anything that is like this
Speaker 1: will curb your appetite. I'm like, ew, why would I
Speaker 1: want that? I like liking food. I don't know.
Speaker 4: It just that's like it doesn't make sense. Stooes about
Speaker 4: like why he took the vaccine was not for his
Speaker 4: own health or for your health. It was because he
Speaker 4: heard like all Italians You're gonna lose your sense of
Speaker 4: taste and smell. And he's like, oh, I do not
Speaker 4: want to get this COVID thing, like I will get
Speaker 4: vaccinated because I'm Italian. I love food.
Speaker 1: Losing a sense of smell was a huge threat. It
Speaker 1: was like dying whatever. I'm not scared of that, but
Speaker 1: losing my sense of smell or having things taste like
Speaker 1: vomit for the rest of my life. Some people like
Speaker 1: things tasted disgusting. I was like, I don't want that.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about John mulaney Special real quick. Did you
Speaker 1: watch it, Brian? Yeah, my god, we all this thing
Speaker 1: is probably got He's it did well yesterday. I mean
Speaker 1: it came out yesterday and three out of four did
Speaker 1: you watch it? Noah, No, I haven't had a chance yet.
Speaker 2: Well three out of four people here. I don't blame you.
Speaker 4: I mean I haven't fished. I'm ten minutes from the end,
Speaker 4: which is interesting because it was very follow was so deep, big,
Speaker 4: and I was like, this is heavy, not heavy, like
Speaker 4: oh it's hard, but it's like this, this is real shit.
Speaker 4: And I could see why Matt and I both He
Speaker 4: was like, we're an hour and ten minutes in or something.
Speaker 4: It was long.
Speaker 2: It's an hour and twenty and he was like, I'm tired.
Speaker 4: Can we go to ben. I was like, yeah, we'll
Speaker 4: look forward to it tomorrow. But it was a lot
Speaker 4: to chew on.
Speaker 1: I exactly at that moment went to the bathroom, was like, Chris,
Speaker 1: I'm hungry, Like I want to go get dinner. And
Speaker 1: he was just like, there's ten minutes. He like screamed
Speaker 1: to me while I was on the twenty's like this
Speaker 1: ten minutes left. And I was like, okay, I can
Speaker 1: do it. And I was glad that I finished it
Speaker 1: in one thing because it was long.
Speaker 5: It's like an hour. Shit, I was taking minutes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, it was an hour twenty I believe, which
Speaker 1: is very long for a special. But it it was
Speaker 1: really well done. It looks amazing. He yeah. He just
Speaker 1: tells the story of he starts with his intervention and
Speaker 1: then it just walks you through his addiction and his
Speaker 1: recovery and you know, embarrassing things he did along the
Speaker 1: way when he was an addict. And it's my favorite
Speaker 1: part was the little song he did at the beginning
Speaker 1: of like everything changed, like bo burnhamore because he's not
Speaker 1: problematic and he's like, you know, we all went through
Speaker 1: the same thing, like masks down, keep them up. And
Speaker 1: then he's like, you go through a divorce, you lose
Speaker 1: your reputation, and it was just so is different. It's different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was really great.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: The thing with the eleven year old boy was genius.
Speaker 2: That was a plant, but that's cool.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, don't ever think things that happened sporadically
Speaker 1: are like, I can't believe that happened because Chris.
Speaker 5: I go.
Speaker 1: Chris was like, I wonder if they micd that kid,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, they don't need to because
Speaker 1: his responses don't mean anything. Like he's gonna say with
Speaker 1: all the places where he says fifth grader and you go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, he's calling back to this crazy thing.
Speaker 1: If the kid would have said sixth grade, he would
Speaker 1: have said sixth grader. Like there's there's not taking away
Speaker 1: from the genius of the bit, but it was pre
Speaker 1: written and that interaction happens at all of his shows
Speaker 1: with a kid that he finds there. So I just
Speaker 1: want to I'm sorry to like pull back the curtain
Speaker 1: on any thing that is seems magical, but that was funny,
Speaker 1: and it is funny because there is always going to
Speaker 1: be a young kid at his shows because.
Speaker 2: He's so great and appeals to all ages. But I loved,
Speaker 2: I loved.
Speaker 1: My favorite part was him admitting that he wanted to
Speaker 1: be recognized in rehab yeah, and that it was very
Speaker 1: important to him and that he was very embarrassing him
Speaker 1: for him not to be and that he left a
Speaker 1: paper out and said John mulaney goes to rehab and
Speaker 1: he left it out in that kind of vulnerability when
Speaker 1: famous people admit that they like being famous and they
Speaker 1: like attention, Like I was embarrassed yesterday after I said
Speaker 1: that I was secretly hoping Taylor would like put to
Speaker 1: take me up on stage or be like listen to.
Speaker 2: Your voice like that there was a part of me.
Speaker 2: But then I was like, you know what, Like that's okay.
Speaker 1: I was a little bit, And then I saw John
Speaker 1: laneyzing and I'm like him admitting that is just as
Speaker 1: embarrassing that he actually wanted people to recognize him, and
Speaker 1: that when he said, you know, I'm John m he
Speaker 1: kind of waited for a blas break Like that generally
Speaker 1: made me happy that you know, this guy that you
Speaker 1: just I attribute a lot of like he's just funny.
Speaker 2: He just happens to be funny. He's not in this
Speaker 2: for any other thing.
Speaker 1: And he also admits that everything he does is he
Speaker 1: worries about what other people think about him constantly and chronically,
Speaker 1: or at least he used to. I would guess that
Speaker 1: he still does, but he apparent, he said he used to.
Speaker 1: And I like that admission because I think sometimes celebrities
Speaker 1: come off like I actually don't care what people think
Speaker 1: about me, and or comedians especially like.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck fuck fuck if you don't
Speaker 2: like what I do. I've said this before.
Speaker 1: Any comedian who pretends to be confident like that or
Speaker 1: not care what people think, or that they that they
Speaker 1: have high self esteem is lying and is not a
Speaker 1: trustworthy comedian, and you shouldn't like them and you shouldn't
Speaker 1: trust what they have to say because they're they're Charlatan's
Speaker 1: and they're acting.
Speaker 5: That's people.
Speaker 1: But it's absolutely I think there are some people that
Speaker 1: genuinely don't care what other people think about the much
Speaker 1: comedians I think are And I'm not trying to be
Speaker 1: like toot our own horn, because this is not a
Speaker 1: toot too.
Speaker 2: This is a this is a shark in your pants.
Speaker 2: This is embarrassing that that we desperately want people to
Speaker 2: like us. And I really liked that. John mulaney the
Speaker 2: king of comedians, the one that everyone wants.
Speaker 1: To be, and he's just he's the coolest guy. He's
Speaker 1: friends with all the coolest people. He's the coolest comic
Speaker 1: and arguably the best comic ever. And he admits that
Speaker 1: he desperately wants everyone to like him. And that was
Speaker 1: very soothing to my soul to see, like kind of
Speaker 1: someone that I look up to so much, who I
Speaker 1: think is so much better than me admitting the thing
Speaker 1: that I'm essentially it's the same as me. H, Brian,
Speaker 1: what was your favorite part?
Speaker 5: I'm there. One line that made me laugh out loud
Speaker 5: for a long time was when he said people don't
Speaker 5: know what to think about him. I just I don't
Speaker 5: know why that line got I started laughing for like
Speaker 5: ten minutes after he said that.
Speaker 2: I liked what he said.
Speaker 1: Ask your if you don't know who I am, ask
Speaker 1: your daughter or certain sons.
Speaker 4: Yeah, non athletic sons.
Speaker 1: Non athletics, or your son if he's not a non athletic.
Speaker 1: He was like certain sons love me, Like there's something
Speaker 1: of the word certain was really funny to me. That's
Speaker 1: why I love Joe Mullenius. Those little like throwaway lines
Speaker 1: that you know, quote unquote throwaway that are just these
Speaker 1: His word usage is just brilliant. And yeah, I just
Speaker 1: learned so much from watching it. Like Chris at one
Speaker 1: point stopped me and said, are you not enjoying this
Speaker 1: or like what's going on with you? Because I wasn't laughing,
Speaker 1: And it wasn't because it wasn't funny. I was just
Speaker 1: observing the choices he made and how he you know,
Speaker 1: would be the same as if you know the way
Speaker 1: Anya you don't really like listen to music or like
Speaker 1: like new artists and stuff. You're not like loving music
Speaker 1: as much as like people who don't play music because
Speaker 1: you're kind of being.
Speaker 4: More studying like what are they doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, analyzing more. But I did laugh a lot, like
Speaker 1: when I would let myself kind of like get out
Speaker 1: of that brain.
Speaker 2: I had so much fun.
Speaker 1: It was it was I just think it was an
Speaker 1: important special because it showed this person that had everything
Speaker 1: really didn't have it going on that well and was
Speaker 1: actually really struggling, and I like how he's still there's
Speaker 1: still a part of me that feels like, well, it
Speaker 1: just shows how smart he was because he was able
Speaker 1: to be like a talented he was able to be
Speaker 1: like a fucking horrible addict and really function perfectly and
Speaker 1: like go on talk shows. And I thought his reading
Speaker 1: the GQ interview he did was so funny. And I
Speaker 1: will say that those questions that he the way he
Speaker 1: reads them is funny. But if you were just to
Speaker 1: read that, you wouldn't necessarily think that guy was Hi,
Speaker 1: do you agree with me?
Speaker 5: Brian? Yeah, when he I mean, obviously when he does
Speaker 5: it in that voice, and then if you think about
Speaker 5: all he asked was what did you do today? And
Speaker 5: then he go when they break it up, he's not
Speaker 5: saying like and then as you do, he's just going,
Speaker 5: oh like, and so he's he's just he's just streamlining
Speaker 5: through all that. Yeah, there wasn't pauses there probably in
Speaker 5: real life.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just keeps the guy just and then even
Speaker 2: the the best part for me, and I don't even
Speaker 2: know that he was saying it as a joke, but
Speaker 2: the reporter goes, I'm gonna let you.
Speaker 1: Go like, never has a reporter been like I'm good
Speaker 1: on top him, Like usually you're like you gotta go,
Speaker 1: but the reporters like, well, there's a lot here and
Speaker 1: I don't want to take up any more of your time,
Speaker 1: and then I won't ruin the last line. But it's
Speaker 1: fucking great too. It was such a good special. I
Speaker 1: recommend everyone watching it.
Speaker 4: Whoever designed that set. And the lighting was absolutely impeccable.
Speaker 4: I mean it's a gorgeous theater, but the lighting work
Speaker 4: was so fucking amazing and mind blowing and perfectly done.
Speaker 4: I was completely awestruck by that. It was so perfect
Speaker 4: in a suit.
Speaker 2: I have someone that would definitely disagree with you.
Speaker 4: Really, no, dude, I will go oh who Chris?
Speaker 2: The green the green color?
Speaker 4: There were so many different scenes and it was all
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 1: Like the lighting change. But man, that was a lot
Speaker 1: of the pausing for me and my guy. I mean
Speaker 1: my guy works in production and so he was just
Speaker 1: at first he was like this lighting this, He was
Speaker 1: like nikky, we like he was blown away and I
Speaker 1: was almost like easy, I know, I'll never be as
Speaker 1: good as John Muliney's lighting, like I was getting And
Speaker 1: then it started to change, and man did I was
Speaker 1: like not happy, but I was like okay, I was
Speaker 1: even like easy, we get it that the lighting is
Speaker 1: letting you down, Chris, but it's very funny. I would
Speaker 1: like to hear you two talk about that, because he
Speaker 1: couldn't have had more of an opposite reaction.
Speaker 2: But I agree it was And the use of David Byrne,
Speaker 2: what did you think of that?
Speaker 4: Matt was like eh, and I was like, this is genius.
Speaker 4: So we had a little disagreement.
Speaker 1: Why is it genius to call your famous friend and say,
Speaker 1: will you make a song for me?
Speaker 4: Because that is so cool? It was like one like
Speaker 4: it wasn't words. Okay, I loved he s got such
Speaker 4: a great voice.
Speaker 1: I think we just give too much credit to people
Speaker 1: for having famous friends and going, hey, this cool famous person,
Speaker 1: will you do a thing for me?
Speaker 2: And we all just go I can't believe it. It's like,
Speaker 2: of course David Byrne is gonna be just we could
Speaker 2: have David Byrne and do our special thing.
Speaker 4: It just made me I don't get to hear it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'll I get that.
Speaker 1: I just I think we give too much credit sometimes
Speaker 1: and I'll give all the credit to I mean, he
Speaker 1: is a genius and brilliant, but sometimes things are cut
Speaker 1: where you're just like you just found the kissed you like,
Speaker 1: you know, like THEO you found the coolest person to
Speaker 1: do something and you just asked them to do it,
Speaker 1: and now.
Speaker 4: You're yeah, maybe we should give credit. He was, Okay, okay,
Speaker 4: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just thought it was like, we get it,
Speaker 2: you have famous friends.
Speaker 1: But also if I was friends with David Byrne, I
Speaker 1: would do that in a heartbeat, so you know, I
Speaker 1: honestly know people do work.
Speaker 4: Though, and I thought it was like inventive and strange,
Speaker 4: Like I didn't think, oh, this is David Byrne. The
Speaker 4: second I heard I was like, this sounds like a
Speaker 4: talking Head song. This is such a cool song.
Speaker 5: What is this?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, it said David Byrne gigantically.
Speaker 4: But then maybe that was what I a few seconds
Speaker 4: later it said that, But when it started, I'm like,
Speaker 4: what is this song?
Speaker 2: All right? I'm just being a little bitch who's jealous
Speaker 2: that I don't have famous friends.
Speaker 4: I thought him name checking some of the people at
Speaker 4: the intervention was so cool. I'm like, I love that
Speaker 4: he's name checking some of these people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was great and the good Dave Press story.
Speaker 1: And he's also still angry about the intervention, which is palpable.
Speaker 2: I mean he says it.
Speaker 1: He literally says that he's still angry about it. But
Speaker 1: it was just it's great and he's one of the
Speaker 1: best comedians ever and the special just shows that, and
Speaker 1: it just shows a new side to what he does.
Speaker 1: And it's just so self aware and honest, and it's
Speaker 1: everything that comedy in my mind should be. It's like articulate,
Speaker 1: it's it's well put together, it's thought out, it is
Speaker 1: it's not sloppy, which I sometimes get to be sometimes
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to keep it too real it gets sloppy.
Speaker 2: But there was not a sloppiness to it, but it
Speaker 2: was still real. It was everything I aspire to be.
Speaker 1: So closing thoughts is like ten out of ten A
Speaker 1: plus plus plus doesn't get better than John mulaney right now.
Speaker 5: And it was funny all he talked about that stuff
Speaker 5: while being funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah the whole time there, I got like a thirty
Speaker 1: second moment where there was just set up and no funny,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yes, Like finally he has a
Speaker 1: little exposition with no funny, but it was.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 2: It was so funny.
Speaker 1: There's just no and the way he talks the wait,
Speaker 1: he just he is who he is. And it was vulnerable,
Speaker 1: but not too much in a way that you're like,
Speaker 1: this is oversharing, and it was just it.
Speaker 2: Was just perfect.
Speaker 1: So I really recommend everyone watch it, not that you're
Speaker 1: not already going to all right, thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to the show this week. We will be back next week,
Speaker 1: don't you even think we won't. And this weekend I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be in Tucson and Vegas and then then a Europe.
Speaker 1: Tons of dates and I hope to see all the
Speaker 1: besties there. We'll see you this weekend out there on
Speaker 1: the road, and we'll see you next week on the show.
Speaker 2: Don't be and just go Watchilon Millie John Lane's question
Speaker 5: H