WEBVTT - Short Stuff: Drop Bears

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, and welcome to the short stuff. I'm Josh and

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<v Speaker 1>there's Chuck and it's just us. No Dave, no Jerry,

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<v Speaker 1>no nothing. But we are here and being tourists walking

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<v Speaker 1>through the Australian bush right now. We need to be

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<v Speaker 1>careful of drop bears.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right, because you know, if you're especially a tourist

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe a foreign soldier you're walking around the outback,

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<v Speaker 2>look up, because if you walk under a tree, a

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<v Speaker 2>drop bear might drop down, knock you on the head

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<v Speaker 2>and each each.

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<v Speaker 1>Your head, yeah, might bite your skull open with its molars,

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<v Speaker 1>might use its bangs to bite your neck, and you're dead.

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<v Speaker 1>You're dead when a drop bear drops on you, because

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<v Speaker 1>they can get fairly big. I saw about the size

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<v Speaker 1>of leopards. Leopards average something like six feet long, seven

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<v Speaker 1>feet long, laying between one hundred and two hundred pounds.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a big animal. The thing that makes it

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<v Speaker 1>so crazy is that it looks a lot like a koala,

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<v Speaker 1>except with orange, wy, wiry hair.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and luckily, you know, we toured Australia and did

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<v Speaker 2>some great shows all over that wonderful country and we

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<v Speaker 2>both checked in as safe at the end of it.

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<v Speaker 3>From drop bears. Thank god it didn't happen.

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<v Speaker 1>No, we made it out alive, basically, because if you

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<v Speaker 1>get dropped on by a drop bear, who are They're

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<v Speaker 1>very patient, they're very quiet. They'll wait for hours up

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<v Speaker 1>in the treetop for someone to pass by, and then

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<v Speaker 1>they drop out right on top of you. Like you said,

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<v Speaker 1>you're dead, You're you're toast. So had we met a

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<v Speaker 1>drop bear, one or both of us would not be

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<v Speaker 1>sitting here today.

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<v Speaker 3>That's right.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm genuinely wondering how many Australians think that we're being

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<v Speaker 2>serious right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't thought about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they're like, don't these guys now.

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<v Speaker 1>Man that you do the best New Zealand accent?

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<v Speaker 3>That was it? Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Sure it all sounds like Murray Mary. Yeah. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we should probably tell everybody who isn't from Australia that

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<v Speaker 1>drop bears are made up. They're a myth. They're a joke, really,

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<v Speaker 1>a long standing pranky joke that Australians play on newcomers

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<v Speaker 1>and tourists and travelers and visiting military that kind of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a lot of people think it started in either

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<v Speaker 2>Sydney or South Wales the early early settlers there, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>playing pranks on people who came, probably because they didn't

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<v Speaker 2>want them there, it would be my guess.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure, or just to humiliate them out of boredom.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Apparently the Australian Museum over the years has kind of

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<v Speaker 2>kept this joke going by fabricating sightings.

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<v Speaker 3>It's sort of like a like here in America, like

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<v Speaker 3>a jackalope.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, you know, like creating these creatures, not like

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<v Speaker 2>a bigfoot. It's not a cryptid, but I guess a

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<v Speaker 2>jacolobe probably technically is. But you know, just sort of

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<v Speaker 2>a humorous thing to keep going, and the official government

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<v Speaker 2>even gets involved and kind of plays along.

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<v Speaker 1>Well. I saw one of the things that as part

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<v Speaker 1>of this legend is that the Australian government does recognize

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<v Speaker 1>the existence of drop bears in reality because they don't exist,

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<v Speaker 1>but as part of the legend, it's because the Australian

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<v Speaker 1>government is covering up their existence because they don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to harm the tourist industry in Australia because again they

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<v Speaker 1>jump on tourists basically people who don't have Australian accents.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, and I'm sure they're also like there's all manner

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<v Speaker 2>of things that'll kill you, like the last thing we

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<v Speaker 2>need is a made.

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<v Speaker 1>Up thing exactly, So we said. The Australian government is

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<v Speaker 1>part of it. So a lot of other institutions have

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<v Speaker 1>contributed to kind of keeping this idea alive. I saw

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<v Speaker 1>an article in The Conversation about drop bears and surviving

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<v Speaker 1>drop bear attacks and it was totally straight from starting

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<v Speaker 1>to finish. There wasn't even a little disclaimer in italics

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<v Speaker 1>at the end. And they've even been given a scientific

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<v Speaker 1>name thy larctos plumatists. That's pretty funny, it is. It's great.

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<v Speaker 2>There actually is like evidence that there could have been

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<v Speaker 2>some sort of ancient animal in Australia during the last

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<v Speaker 2>Ice Age that is similar to a drop bear that

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<v Speaker 2>does have a real scientific name, Thyloclio carnifex, or a

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<v Speaker 2>marsupial lion. Apparently the skull does resemble a koala or

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<v Speaker 2>maybe a wombat, but instead of grinder teeth, they have.

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<v Speaker 3>Shearing teeth and apparently at once belonged to a group of.

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<v Speaker 2>Marsupials called the dipper toodonts, and with today's koalas, they're

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<v Speaker 2>in that same group of marsupials. So possums, wombats, kangaroos

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<v Speaker 2>and koalas. They were all part of this group back

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<v Speaker 2>in ancient times. But whatever this more fearsome one was

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<v Speaker 2>a It wasn't a drop bear, but it was similar

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<v Speaker 2>enough for people to reference it at least.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and people were living at this time. This is

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<v Speaker 1>during the last ice Age, so there were people in

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<v Speaker 1>Australia at the time. Aborigines were there and they would

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<v Speaker 1>have seen and possibly interacted with this marsupial lion. So

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<v Speaker 1>it raises the question like, is this actually like an

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<v Speaker 1>echo from the past, Like this is this drop bear

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<v Speaker 1>prank is actually based on like a human knowledge of

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<v Speaker 1>the fact that there was something similar years back into

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<v Speaker 1>this got passed down all this time and then morphed

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<v Speaker 1>into the prank. Some people say, no, I think there's

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<v Speaker 1>a possibility. It just seems weird to have come up

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<v Speaker 1>with that independently. I could also be overthinking it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh maybe, who knows. The first official mentions that people

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<v Speaker 2>know about were in the beginning of beginnings of the

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<v Speaker 2>nineteen hundreds, and it wasn't in a newspaper like the

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<v Speaker 2>words drop bear until nineteen eighty two, apparently, when there

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<v Speaker 2>was a message in the twenty first Birthday's column of

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<v Speaker 2>the Canberra Times on thirty one July. You know it's

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<v Speaker 2>from a different country if they say thirty one July, right,

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<v Speaker 2>we say July thirty first over here and apparently, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I say canber And.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not right either, right, I think it's Canberra, Canberra, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I think not even Borah bruh like bruh.

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<v Speaker 3>What's up? Bro?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what's up Canbra?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, I got you.

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<v Speaker 2>But in this message, regardless of pronunciations, it was Tam tam,

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<v Speaker 2>Beware of drop bears in the future for sure, totally

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<v Speaker 2>love Clint. And no one knows who these people were.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll never find out who this who these people were.

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<v Speaker 2>But the words drop bear first time in print apparently.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. But the year before a post punk band called

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<v Speaker 1>the drop Bears had formed back in nineteen eighty one.

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<v Speaker 1>I went and looked up one of their videos for

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<v Speaker 1>a song called fun Loving Good. Yeah it's not bad, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>jump it out. But yes, so drop like drop bears

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<v Speaker 1>somehow just came out of nowhere. That term did. But

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<v Speaker 1>there had been this idea of a koala like animal

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<v Speaker 1>dropping from trees and attacking people that had been around,

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<v Speaker 1>at least in print since the nineteen twenties. It seems

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<v Speaker 1>to have been a military prank like that's where it

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<v Speaker 1>kind of was kept alive all of the decades, but

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<v Speaker 1>it eventually made the leap to pop culture thanks to

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<v Speaker 1>a guy known in Australia as Hogues. His name is

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<v Speaker 1>Paul Hogan. Here in the United States, we know him

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<v Speaker 1>as Crocodile Dundee.

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<v Speaker 3>I say we take a break.

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<v Speaker 2>That's quite a cliffhanger when you got Crocodile Dundee hanging

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<v Speaker 2>out there. And we'll be right back after this, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>we promised talk of Crocodile Dundee. In nineteen eighty one,

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<v Speaker 2>on his show The Paul Hogan Show, he did skit

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<v Speaker 2>where he starts talking about the untold horrors of the

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<v Speaker 2>Australian bush and although he didn't use the word drop bear,

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<v Speaker 2>he talked about killer koalas silently sitting and then dropping

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<v Speaker 2>out of trees and killing people.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so within a few years this thing crosses over

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<v Speaker 1>to the mainstream. Drop bears are attached as the name,

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<v Speaker 1>and it just becomes an institution in Australia.

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<v Speaker 2>Apparently that's right, and we've gotten real tips because you know,

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<v Speaker 2>they like to play along with this stuff, and so

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<v Speaker 2>you can actually get real published tips on how to

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<v Speaker 2>avoid being killed by these.

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<v Speaker 1>Right apparently one so remember they're telling like soldiers in

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<v Speaker 1>Australia are telling like some American detachment that's visiting or

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<v Speaker 1>doing training exercises or something to do these things. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and apparently they do. Sometimes One is to put dabs

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<v Speaker 1>of toothpaste behind your ears, James, I mean toothpaste, of course. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm surprised that's all it was, because why didn't

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<v Speaker 2>they say like human feces or something they want to

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<v Speaker 2>kick it up?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yes, but I mean just the fact that you

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<v Speaker 1>did something that they can demonstrate you did that. That's

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<v Speaker 1>that's enough. When they tell you that this whole thing's

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<v Speaker 1>a joke and you're a total moron.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I guess so.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess they got a little closer to human feces

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<v Speaker 2>on the next but a little bit. Uh. They said

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<v Speaker 2>that you got to smear your cheeks and forehead with vegemite. Boy,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna get killed for that one. You are, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry.

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<v Speaker 3>Australia.

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<v Speaker 1>Australia, you should know by now, no one outside of

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<v Speaker 1>Australia likes vegemite. That's just your thing, that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, And you've all got great senses of humor, so

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<v Speaker 2>I know you'll take that with a plumb.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. So another one was putting forks in your hair,

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<v Speaker 1>which I mean you'd have to have thick, curly hair

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<v Speaker 1>to hold a fork in your hair.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, fork would fall right out of my hair.

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<v Speaker 1>Same here. Yeah. And then you could wear a neck guard.

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<v Speaker 1>That would be the funniest one to me. That's what

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<v Speaker 1>I would try to get people to do. Remember, like

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<v Speaker 1>the old school neck guards that like in that episode

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<v Speaker 1>of The Brady Bunch where there's the car accident, the

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<v Speaker 1>person that Mike Brady hit was wearing like a neck

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<v Speaker 1>protector to keep them from turning their head.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh huh.

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<v Speaker 1>And then he throws the briefcase and they look really

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<v Speaker 1>quickly and Mike Brady Pruss's cave foiled. Yeah. Yeah, if

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<v Speaker 1>I could get somebody to wear one of those to

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<v Speaker 1>protect against a drop bear attack, I would feel pretty

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<v Speaker 1>good about myself. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And if all these things fail, I believe so much

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<v Speaker 2>of what you say. If you told me I needed

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<v Speaker 2>to wear that for any reason, I probably would all right.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, keep sharp, man, because I'm going to try it sometime.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, if you want a podcast, better put on

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<v Speaker 3>a neck break.

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<v Speaker 2>Apparently, if none of those things work, though, and you

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<v Speaker 2>were a visiting military soldier and you are attacked, to

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<v Speaker 2>protect yourself, curl into a ball and protect all of

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<v Speaker 2>your major internal organs and major arteries.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, pretty great stuff, chuck.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, No, I mean that was kind of sad.

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<v Speaker 2>If you look up drop Bear, there's some funny pictures

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<v Speaker 2>of like just photoshopped qualas that looked super scary And mean.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you mean what was sad?

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<v Speaker 3>No? No, no, no, did I say sad?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? You said it's kind of sad? Did I either

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<v Speaker 1>that or I've just totally lost my mind?

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<v Speaker 3>Finally, in my mind, I said funny.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess only the listener will know the truth of

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<v Speaker 2>which one of us just had a stroke.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you guys can write in and tell us in

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, everybody short, Stuff is out.

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