WEBVTT - Podcast Today

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Comedy Central. Are you a busy person

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<v Speaker 1>who's always on the go, This next podcast is for you.

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<v Speaker 1>No bull, no filler, just news and analysis that's straight

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<v Speaker 1>to the points. No beating around the bush, no wasting

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<v Speaker 1>your time, no repetition. We know you're a busy person

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<v Speaker 1>who's always on the go. This next podcast is for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Buckle your seatbelts. Daisie Leda and Michael Costa present Podcast Today. Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>and welcome to Podcast Today, where we cut through the

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<v Speaker 1>noise and bring you real talk about what's happening today.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Dassie, I'm Michael Costa. Before we get to today's episode,

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<v Speaker 1>some quick housekeeping. Thursday's pod will be released at six

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<v Speaker 1>pm instead of one pm because I have to take

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<v Speaker 1>my dog to the dentist. Also a little more housekeeping.

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<v Speaker 1>Friday's show is a listener mail bag, sending those questions

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<v Speaker 1>to Pod Today letters at mind spring dot email. One

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<v Speaker 1>last bit of housekeeping, Thursday's pod will be at one

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<v Speaker 1>pm again, my dog no longer has a cavity. Terrific.

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<v Speaker 1>Turns out my dog didn't have a cavity, he just

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<v Speaker 1>stated sharpie. We should also mention tickets are now on

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<v Speaker 1>sale to our live shows in Oklahoma City, Minneapolis, and Hartford.

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<v Speaker 1>Right use code. I'm with Podcasts and Antonio, Jacksonville, Biloxi, Philadelphia.

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<v Speaker 1>Right and you can useroite Miami, Green Bay, Providence, Atlanta, Chesapeake, Fresno,

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<v Speaker 1>Norfolk and boise Is at all can I announce the code? Now?

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<v Speaker 1>Use code? I'm with Papolis, St. Louis and Providence. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>see you as soon. Use code. I'm with podcast for

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<v Speaker 1>two percent off early bird tickets forgot to mention Branson, Missouri.

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<v Speaker 1>We're also going to be in Branson, Missouri. Just a

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<v Speaker 1>reminder that you should follow at podcast Today on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, TikTok, Interest,

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<v Speaker 1>my Space, friend and of course the weightlifting forums. This

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<v Speaker 1>episode of Podcast Today is brought to you by shrimp Fix.

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<v Speaker 1>Every week, shrimp Fix sends you a twenty four pound

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<v Speaker 1>box of delicious golf shrimp. Are you tired of walking

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<v Speaker 1>who's there? Look on your doorstep. It's a big box

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<v Speaker 1>of shrimp. Are you still going to the grocery store

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<v Speaker 1>to buy shrimp what are you amish? Log onto shrimp

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<v Speaker 1>fix dot com Backslash Podcast Today and your first order

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<v Speaker 1>will come with a free bucket of tartar sauce. Before

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<v Speaker 1>we get started, we have an exciting announcement about a

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<v Speaker 1>new partnership. Podcast Today is teaming up with the good

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<v Speaker 1>folks at vote spake dot org for a great project.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's the deal. Ahead of the election, votes bank dot

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<v Speaker 1>org and Podcast Today are going to make polling sites

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<v Speaker 1>brand spanking new. That's right, DESI. We're going to renovate

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<v Speaker 1>in d vermin church basement's, school gyms, abandoned circuit cities,

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<v Speaker 1>anywhere votes are going to be cast. No more polling

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<v Speaker 1>places will be closed because of raccoon investations. Unlike the

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<v Speaker 1>last time, all you have to do to participate is

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<v Speaker 1>go to vote spank dot org. Sign up, give them

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<v Speaker 1>your name, email address, birthday, home address, work address, income level,

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<v Speaker 1>to show up in some loose fitting clothes, preferably all black,

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<v Speaker 1>Bring some work gloves, a ski mask, and twenty feet

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<v Speaker 1>of nautical grade rope, and you're all set. Let's spank

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<v Speaker 1>this election. Flat palms, big wind up firm, context spank

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<v Speaker 1>dot org. Together, we can make democracy brands spanking new.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I think it's time to introduce our guest. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's right. He's a correspondent for The Daily Show with

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<v Speaker 1>Trevor Noah Jabooky Young White. Thanks so much for having me.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, the studio is a lot smaller than I

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<v Speaker 1>thought it would be. Now, Jabouky, before we talk shop,

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<v Speaker 1>you have a book to promote. Yes, well, it's actually

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<v Speaker 1>more like a Twitter account. It's my Twitter account at

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<v Speaker 1>jubooky Cool and where can our listeners find your Twitter

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<v Speaker 1>account on Twitter? Fantastic. I can't wait to read it.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we get to Jabouky. We just have a little

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<v Speaker 1>more housekeeping. Podcast Today is looking for new theme music.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're an amateur composer and you want to

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<v Speaker 1>compose our theme song for free, you can submit your

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<v Speaker 1>compositions at podcast Today Music at prodigy dot net. Just

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<v Speaker 1>a few guidelines. Your theme song has to be original,

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<v Speaker 1>it has to be less than thirty seconds. You must

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<v Speaker 1>include a flu there can't be any screams in the background,

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<v Speaker 1>and it must be in a frequency that sends marine

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<v Speaker 1>life into a frenzy. Lyrics cannot include slurs against Macedonians

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<v Speaker 1>or terms, but they must include at least two references

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<v Speaker 1>to Sigourney Weaver. Get those submissions in. Guys can't wait

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<v Speaker 1>to hear that? Okay. We want to remind our listeners

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<v Speaker 1>to check out our sister pod Podcast Today This week.

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<v Speaker 1>This week. On Podcast Today this week, we'll have some

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<v Speaker 1>amazing guests including Montana governor and former presidential candidate Steve Bullock.

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<v Speaker 1>Is he related to Sandra Bullock? That's what we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to find out? Tune in. You know what what I was

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<v Speaker 1>thinking if Sandra Bullock were the first lady she turned

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<v Speaker 1>the White House into the lake House. You know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. I don't think I do. What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 1>You know? The lake House two thousand six, Kanu Reeves

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<v Speaker 1>and Sandra Bullock exchange love letters through mysterious time space

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<v Speaker 1>portal inside of a lake house's mailbox. Podcast Today is

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<v Speaker 1>brought to you by Claire Space. Need a website specifically

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<v Speaker 1>dedicated to Claire Danes. Use Claire Space. We have thousands

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<v Speaker 1>of different templates you can use to create a website

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<v Speaker 1>revolving around the actress Claire Danes and nothing else. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>serious if you're trying to make the website about muffins

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<v Speaker 1>or something. Then your computer will crash and give you

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<v Speaker 1>a virus. Claire Space, because Claire Danes is a national treasure. Cassie,

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<v Speaker 1>you use Claire Space, right, Actually use Claire Space to

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<v Speaker 1>build my internet tribute to it broke down Palace Claire Space.

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<v Speaker 1>If you make a website about Jennifer Love Hewett, you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna get malware. And now it's time to get to

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<v Speaker 1>the point. As always. Get to the Point is sponsored

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<v Speaker 1>by Henry's Rusty Shave Club. Henry's Rusty Shave Club was

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<v Speaker 1>started by two college roommates who hated shaving with high

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<v Speaker 1>priced razors, so they decided to do something about it.

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<v Speaker 1>They bought a German factory that had been making torture

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<v Speaker 1>devices until it abruptly shut down in but was still

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<v Speaker 1>filled with thousands of boxes of used oxidizing seventy four

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<v Speaker 1>year old razors, and Henry's Rusty Shave Club was born. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>for only eight bucks a month, you'll get vintage tetanus

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<v Speaker 1>lubricated blades delivered right to your door. Henry's Rusty Shave Club.

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<v Speaker 1>Life is rough. Shouldn't your shave be too? That ad

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<v Speaker 1>for Henry's Rusty Shave Club is sponsored by buck Banger,

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<v Speaker 1>the fastest, easiest way to send money, Costa, use buck

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<v Speaker 1>banger this week? Sure it did so Monday, I went

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<v Speaker 1>to the movies with my buddy. We saw Aladdin again

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<v Speaker 1>wrapping Genie. I can't help it anyway, We get the tickets,

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<v Speaker 1>We see the movie. It's magical, and on the way

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<v Speaker 1>out of the parking lot, I run over a rare bird.

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<v Speaker 1>A rare bird, yeah, and I rebuild woodpecker crazy endangered,

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<v Speaker 1>huge fine for turning it into a road bandcake. So

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<v Speaker 1>naturally I opened my wallet to buy the silence of

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<v Speaker 1>all the witnesses. But oh, I spent my last Jackson.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Mr Will Smith's heartwarming and humorous two or to force.

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<v Speaker 1>So what do I do? I opened the buck banger

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<v Speaker 1>app send fifty dollar bribes to everyone who saw me

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<v Speaker 1>do it, and I'm home by dinner time googling when

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<v Speaker 1>is Aladdin to coming out? By the way, the answer

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<v Speaker 1>not soon enough, Costa. You just confess to a crime.

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<v Speaker 1>What the crime of loving Aladdin? If that's a crime,

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<v Speaker 1>then lock me up in solitary confinement, preferably with a

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<v Speaker 1>blu ray of Will Smith's Aladdin. Buck Banger the easiest

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<v Speaker 1>way to send money. All right, let's get to the point.

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<v Speaker 1>But before we do, we need to address something we

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<v Speaker 1>said on Monday's show. Let's take a list, and it's Monday,

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<v Speaker 1>and before we get started, we have some housekeeping, right

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<v Speaker 1>Tuesday's show where we push back to three pm instead

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<v Speaker 1>of one pm. I have to be home at one

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<v Speaker 1>pm to get my latest shipment from shrimp Fix. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>is it bad if hypothetically a dog eats a sharpie?

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<v Speaker 1>Just some housekeeping on that bit of housekeeping. Tuesday's show

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<v Speaker 1>was actually released at three pm instead of three instead

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<v Speaker 1>of one because we had more housekeeping than we anticipated,

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<v Speaker 1>and just a bit more housekeeping. We are aiming to

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<v Speaker 1>have less housekeeping going forward. That's right, Fewer housekeeping, fewer housekeepings. Guys.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, it's actually houses keeping like Attorneys General

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<v Speaker 1>or acep's Rocky, just so you know. And now let's

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<v Speaker 1>get to the point. Quick reminder if you like, get

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<v Speaker 1>to the point as well. Other great podcast Today segments

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<v Speaker 1>like check this out, is this real Life? It's only Tuesday,

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<v Speaker 1>and that just happened? Rate and Reviewer, Rate and Reviewer,

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<v Speaker 1>Rate and review us on Apple podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Breaker

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<v Speaker 1>pod Squad, Hewlett Packer, Pods, Prodigy, Copy Serve cast and

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<v Speaker 1>earth link Dot website, backslash podcast, backslash reviews, backslash backslash,

0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:24.800
<v Speaker 1>and just to clarify because there's been some confusion, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the backslash symbol followed by the word backslash. If you

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<v Speaker 1>end that U r L with two backslash symbols, it

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<v Speaker 1>sends you to a pretty out their website. It's real

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<v Speaker 1>jarring stuff actually. Anyway, those reviews really help us out.

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<v Speaker 1>They boost our rankings, which allow us to be discovered

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<v Speaker 1>by more people, and they also can serve as powerful

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<v Speaker 1>character statements for us during core proceedings. Canty. By the way,

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<v Speaker 1>shout out to listener David the dave Man eighteen your

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<v Speaker 1>reviews saying we were quote awesome help me get back

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<v Speaker 1>custody of my kids. Can I go now? Or do

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<v Speaker 1>you guys want me to weigh in on something? No,

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<v Speaker 1>we're ready for you, Yeah, sure are. Our guest today

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<v Speaker 1>is Jabooky young White jabookey. How are you doing? You know?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty good. I'm doing pretty good and I just

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to throw in there. My appearance today is brought

0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:10.520
<v Speaker 1>to you by just the Packaging. Do you love coming

0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.880
<v Speaker 1>home to something that you ordered online, but you don't

0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:16.080
<v Speaker 1>have the money to buy lots of ship Well, just packaging.

0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.079
<v Speaker 1>We'll ship you a big box of tissue, paper, bubble

0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:21.720
<v Speaker 1>wrap and all that other stuff that's so fun to open.

0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.719
<v Speaker 1>And that's it. No meals to cook, no clothes to

0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.240
<v Speaker 1>try on and send back, It's just the packaging. Thanks.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we move on, we've got some sad personnel news

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<v Speaker 1>we do. This is Michael Costa's final episode of Podcast Today.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait was I fired? We are super excited about our

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<v Speaker 1>permanent new host, jabouky Young. Why what's up? I'm super

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<v Speaker 1>excited to break down all the issues of the day

0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.160
<v Speaker 1>with y'alla Costa. Can you please get your ship out

0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:00.559
<v Speaker 1>of your office now? You can still send to Michael

0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:05.120
<v Speaker 1>cost in our brand new international sister pod podcast Today Kosovo.

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<v Speaker 1>Up to the date news and commentary life from the

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<v Speaker 1>Balkans Kosovo, Kosovo like the country, just read the paper?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello Podcast Today Kosovo Fans. Tickets are now on sale

0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:22.000
<v Speaker 1>for our live shows in Sarajevo to brev nick Chernobyl,

0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:26.560
<v Speaker 1>buch Arest and Northern Czechnia. Use code hollow Kosovo for

0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:29.559
<v Speaker 1>twenties ladles off and so I don't even have a passport.

0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.760
<v Speaker 1>By the way, a bit of housekeeping. There is now

0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:36.440
<v Speaker 1>an emergency bonus pod for our Titanium tier supporters on

0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:39.280
<v Speaker 1>Patriots That's right. Head to our fan page right now

0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.720
<v Speaker 1>to hear an exclusive five alarm bonus pod that features

0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:46.640
<v Speaker 1>our extended interview with Podcast Today Kosovo host Michael Costa,

0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:50.680
<v Speaker 1>who will have secretly infiltrated a Chechen terrorist group people

0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.880
<v Speaker 1>point of order? Please has the new a Laddin even

0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.040
<v Speaker 1>been released in Kosovo? Podcast Today is produced by Tom

0:11:57.080 --> 0:12:00.320
<v Speaker 1>Baylor and Schula Mansfield and recorded at daily shows toos

0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 1>in the heart of Manhattan's Little Belgrade. Trevor Noah is

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.960
<v Speaker 1>our managing editor. Our research is provided by Miroslav Berkovich

0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:11.359
<v Speaker 1>and bogged On Drakovich. Our audio engineer is Petra Mstorovich.

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<v Speaker 1>Legal services provided by the law firm of and Eamma Loosovich.

0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:22.200
<v Speaker 1>A man known only as the Scorpion is our lookout

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.400
<v Speaker 1>and unsuspecting uber driver named Cynthia is our wheelman, and

0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:30.679
<v Speaker 1>laundry and pet sitting is handled by Zivko Vuillardino. Our

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.920
<v Speaker 1>fabulous interns are Greg Rasputin, Lizzie board In, the third

0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.800
<v Speaker 1>and Lyle Menendez Costa. I want to leave us with

0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:40.760
<v Speaker 1>any parting words. Yeah, actually I just google and Aladdin

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<v Speaker 1>is not in Kosovo right now. There's no doesn't seem

0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:46.719
<v Speaker 1>to be any showtimes or movie theaters. This is kind

0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:50.840
<v Speaker 1>of what keeps me grounded. And you have nothing to

0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.240
<v Speaker 1>say now both you guess you could wait for it

0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.520
<v Speaker 1>to show up on Prime and now you're the fucking

0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:59.199
<v Speaker 1>host all of a sudden. I mean, you didn't even know,

0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:00.640
<v Speaker 1>you didn't even know that you were going to be

0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 1>the host. But but here's a hard work and then

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<v Speaker 1>you see what the right well, you know, I stepped

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<v Speaker 1>up to the plate, and I think maybe that could

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<v Speaker 1>be a part of the reason pronounced Janovich. M m h,

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<v Speaker 1>m m m h. This has been a Comedy Central

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<v Speaker 1>podcast